Toad Turds Tuesday

Bufo americanus bisches. And don’t you forget it.

The American Toad.

Not to be confused with any of your run of the mill other types of toads. Bufo americanus is the shizzle.

Ok – learn some shit:


Toad Turds – aka: morning constitution or an obama

Male from Female: (note – this is most likely wrong – if you can tell me why I’ll send you an amazing prize)

Song of the Toad:

Sex, Toady Style:

Special link for you toad pr0n freaks.

They start to get jiggy wit it between February to June: region determinant of course, with the southerners needing to start sooner than the Toque Toads of south canada recovering from their winter hangover later of course.



A wild baby toad’s diet varies by species, but the majority of them rely on small insects and invertebrates as a primary food source. Worms, spiders, crickets, ants and virtually any tiny animal that they can catch and swallow whole are consumed by baby toads.”

updates may or may not occur –

stay tuned


  1. why is sean hatin’ on red potatoes

  2. Comment by Hotspur on October 15, 2018 8:44 pm
    Mare and Obama are half sisters.


    Shut your big whore mouth!

  3. mare kilt the poat already?

  4. wth

  5. Jam, when I want your opinion I’ll kick it out of you.

    But I mean that in a nice way.

  6. wakey wakey

  7. The term creepy porn lawyer cannot be overused.

  8. I got to sleep in till 0630 today. Nice. That toad turd gave the appearance of his entire intestines leaving his bunghole at once. One more nightmare for dog owners who see their dogs rolling in unidentifiable stinky stuff.

    Repeat after me … CLOACA (Klo-ache-ah)

  9. Important toned buttock news (link is technically sfw but only if you work at Hooters)

  10. leon going for a test drive-

  11. yulia is kinda hot.

  12. That was one well fed toad.

  13. Yulia probably has some Viking in her DNA

  14. She doesn’t look injured.

  15. It took me a second, possibly a minute to figure out it was her ankle that was injured.

  16. Comment by Jimbro on October 16, 2018 8:37 am
    Yulia probably has some Viking in her DNA

    Would she like a little more Viking in her?

  17. A real Viking wouldn’t ask

  18. Jay, that chick should feel good that she has zero chance of every being raped.

  19. Some white chick that Tonto raped had more Indian in her than Lieawatha.

  20. Tushar has more Indian in him than…

    Wait, what?

  21. Is this real?

  22. Leon, apparently it is. He really did tweet that.

  23. He was making a self deprecating joke about being old.

  24. I know, it’s just that I’m shocked that his office has such a great twatter guy.

  25. We have an early Internet Winner over at the HQ.

    “Trump is so good at negotiating he managed to get a refund from a hooker!!”

  26. If the attorney’s fees exceed his initial payout, he got the hooker to pay him.

    Abracadabra, motherfucker.

  27. *golf clap*

  28. I went to a class last night on making bandsaw boxes. The class finishes up tonight with the last bit of assembly, as well as sanding and staining the boxes. It’s a fun little project, and the place hosting the class has a good setup, with woodshops, metal shops, and even a forge. Tomorrow, blacksmithing…

  29. Made a newletter for my cult this morning. No i have to prep for round 3 of taking Ethan to see WTF is wrong with his knee this time.

    I’m guess … and mind you, I’m not a doctor, but I’ve watched a LOT of medical shows on tv (not really) … meniscus.

  30. I’m trying to decide if I want to make an appointment to have a doctor look at my knee. It still hurts occasionally, even if not all the time, and I’m afraid to run because I don’t want to re-injure it.

  31. Tell me your symptoms. I’m practically an expert. (not really)

  32. Well, I have pain in my prostate, blurred vision, weeping pustules, a rash, voices in my head telling me to burn things, and I may or may not be pregnant.

  33. Oh goody, the HQ went from Social Security/Medicare discussions to Biblical Literalism.

  34. Huh. I’m pretty sure you tore your ACL. I mean, that’s what it always ends up being here.

  35. colex, it’s my professional opinion that you may need to see Heysuss’z GYN doc ASAP – your symptoms point to a retro-cranial contusion

  36. The HQ is like a box of chocolates. It’s probably about to get banned in California.

  37. So, are the Republicans finally figuring out social media?

  38. Lots of snark and humor in the comments. :)

  39. Republicans have always been pretty funny. Actual republican politicians on Twitter? Not so much.

  40. Poor Stormy, she got called horseface by Trump on twitter.

  41. Decision Desk gives the GOP 16.5% chance of keeping the majority in the House:

    House Notes:
    The model currently predicts a 16.5% chance of Republicans keeping control of the House of Representatives. The mean prediction of the model is 226 Democratic seats, with a 90% confidence interval of 212-240 Democratic seats

    Presently, we have identified 58 GOP-held seats at risk of flipping, compared to 9 Democratic-held seats at risk of flipping

  42. What chance did the Decision Desk give Trump of winning?

  43. Not sure, but that’s AOS Decision Desk. So you know Brandon is not spinning it.

  44. How do you determine individual house races being either a likely dem win or not?


  45. Probably, yes.

  46. a good woodshed whooppin’ for the mushy repubes is a good thing. it helps focus the mind.
    maybe we’ll get some non-lifers the next round.

    we all know deep down inside where we’re going…
    imma enjoy the yuk-yuks that trump is bringing for the time being.
    as chrispy likes to say – “and so it goes”

  47. I don’t want to think about what the dems will do with a majority in either house.

    Remember what they did the last time. Took a $100 billion deficit and turned it into a Trillion.

  48. I’m at the doctors office right now. Anyone have anything they want me to ask him?

  49. We went for a good hike today. Tomorrow will be a museum day. Or something. We’ll see.

  50. Why does my back hurt?

  51. “Anyone have anything they want me to ask him?”
    axe him what breast reduction surgery goes for now a daze.

  52. Ask him to check your prostate, or ask if you can check his……

  53. Haha, one of the girls at the pizza place was complaining about something, so I said check your prostate. Hilarity ensued. There was much confusion.

  54. Girls with prostates are better at cycling.


    Also, where TF are my damn strawberries?

  56. mare had them sent out to be covered with chocolate for you.


  57. Pretty big boo boo on Heitkamps part today. Yeesh.

  58. I damaged a tendon in my knee a couple summers ago. It is fine now, but it took almost year for the pain to go away.

    Tendons suck.

  59. Marriage material for CoAlex

  60. Pothole season is coming for you guys in the Northeast

  61. I would love this to be a tendon thing.

    I’m afraid it’s not.

  62. Best Russian pothole video, always makes me urinate joyfully. It’s the music. The cars and buses are not just being launched, they’re *dancing.*

    In a youtube search, I also found a video of a bunch of Russians celebrating a pothole’s 3rd birthday, cake and everything, lol. Apparently this is a problem.

  63. Mare, when she was a little boy.

  64. Mare, when she was a little boy.


    I so nailed that MOFO.

  65. Comment by PepeLp on October 16, 2018 7:02 pm


    Snoopy is a genius. But we knew that.

  66. LOL, Warren thought she could move past the Indian thing and launch her presidential run. The mockery is hilarious and relentless. Great to see the Dems get a taste of their own medicine. Surprisingly they can’t handle it after being surrounded with only positive reinforcement their whole lives..

  67. Howie Carr and his co-host read (mockingly) all of Warren’s tweets from last night. She was attacking Trump with all the usual Dem tropes desperately trying to make it about anything but her DNA test.

  68. I saw a page of them as a montage. Her (or her staff) talking about anything at all but lying her way into tens of thousands in cash and prizes.

  69. Millions, really, when you consider that it launched her into Haaaaahvad and got her a senate seat as a result.

  70. has mare had her evening meds yet?
    she seemed a little persnickety this morning.

  71. that warren shit is becoming awesome.
    i also raffed out roud when i heard the radio news turd say that trump called the hooker what’s ‘er name “horse faced” & then the afore mentioned hooker riposted with “tiny” or some such 10th grade stuff –

    awesome for the political theater

  72. This was one of my favorite things about Monticello

  73. re: potholes –
    doesn’t some pizza company have a pothole campaign going on?

  74. leon, did you catch Good Eats Reloaded?

  75. Haven’t looked for a torrent or stream just yet, Jay.

  76. Evening, racists and rapists!

  77. Dominos has to make up for their shitty pizza somehow.

  78. Heh, FBI raided the offices of San Juan’s mayor, Trump’s Biggest Fan.

  79. Domino’s headquarters is about three miles from my house. I’ve met the founder countless times. Interesting guy.

  80. If I get to Heaven, Tom Monahan will be one of the first people I thank, right after my Irish grandmother.

  81. Dominos and Little Caesers are both from Detroit area, right?

  82. Hungry Howies, too.

  83. I need to request an absentee ballot.

  84. He and his brother Jim were mostly raised by Felician nuns, because their dad died, and their mom couldn’t handle raising them.

    Tom is a devout Catholic and uses considerable chunks of his fortuneto support Catholic causes. He built a church on Domino’s Farms property, and built a convent for the sisters.

    From scratch he built the world’s largest pizza company. He is the embodiment of rags to riches.

    His place in Heaven is guaranteed. Liberals hate him.

  85. It’s not handmade pizza, but honestly it isn’t as bad as people like to bash it. It’s number one in the fucking world.

  86. Ave Maria radio carried Catholic Answers. Back when Patrick Coffin was the host, I used to catch the broadcast on my evening drive sometimes.

    It wasn’t the acrimony of political radio or the smug liberal shit of NPR or the garbage that constituted “music” in Ann Arbor.

    One night a re-vert called in to ask a question. He mentioned that he’d just returned to the faith after many, many years away. I don’t even remember the question, but Patrick told him “welcome home” and meant it.

    That was it. That was the moment everything changed. More than anything, I wanted to go home too. Tom, Patrick, and everyone that got that signal to my car that night, all of them get a thank you.

  87. I had a meeting in his office back in the early nineties because we were doing a build-out for a U of M sports medicine facility at Domino’s Farms. He had a fucking leather floor, and a stuffed tiger. (He owned the Detroit Tigers.)

  88. It is #1 in the world. It has been lowered to appeal to the most people possible. I find it bland and flavorless. The guy runs a hell of a business though.

  89. Then another time: a model engineering club I belonged to would do our annual exhibition in Domino’s Farms because Jim was active in the club. I had just finished a three foot long wooden model of a seagoing tug out of Bath, Maine with a working two cylinder steam engine.

    I saw Tom, as he entered the hall make a beeline to my exhibit with Jim at his side.

    After a while of admiring my steam engines and watercraft he said, “What will you take for the Seguin?” I said, “Tom, she’s not for sale.” He said, “Come on. Name a price.” I said, “No, Sir. I just completed her, and she goes in my War Room.” And he said, “$4,000.00.”

    I was so fucking torn, but I said, “Sorry, Tom.” I built it once, I don’t want to have to build it again.” He reached his hand out to me and said, “Fair enough, you did an outstanding job.”

    $20 was taped to his back.

  90. “It’s number one in the fucking world.”

    Like McDonalds. Best burger ever!

    * gags *

  91. Thanks for sharing, Scott. The only thing I remember from Monticello was the clock. I was pretty impressed as a kid that Thomas Jefferson would cut holes in his floor for the cannonballs on rope to run his clock. SCIENCE!

  92. Also Leon and Hotspur, I enjoyed your stories as well. I was trying to figure the tie-in with Domino’s Pizza and Leon’s return to the faith, when I realized you two were just yapping on separate streams of thought.

  93. The 1/1024 memes are getting good.

  94. I got a kick out the clock as well.

    It had a face on both sides of the wall.

  95. Dayum


  97. Hmm, a Cruz/Beto debate online.

  98. You’re stirring it wrong!

  99. Comment by Jimbro on October 16, 2018 9:56 pm

    I like my coffee like my women, black, bitter, full of bourbon.

  100. Pepe made my day.

  101. I have seen a few Beto commercials here in Houston. He is just like Kennedy. If he is mixing meth, bath salts and crack, I mean his twitch is annoying but I keep expecting him to shout Fuck Salt! Tourettes would complete the package.
    Just sayin’

  102. Hey, Vmax!


  104. I don’t know where the sun beams end
    And the starlight begins
    It’s all a mystery
    And I don’t know how a derp decides
    What’s right for his own life
    It’s all a mystery

  105. Gimme a few minutes for HHD.


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