Tuesday Meme

Get better Jam Puppy!






  1. Wakey wakey. I hope jammette’s pupper is ok :(

  2. Water at the base of water heater this morning after heavy rain last night. There’s a drain to the drip pan, but no hose for it to reach the sump.

    *checks hours for nearby Ace*

  3. Now I’m judging her on her yard. She ruined it. Compare 2007 to present .

  4. Sorry. didn’t know it would do that. Stupid internet.

  5. No, this is fine, I can read it and we were all pretty sure this was the real reason. A good actor would have avoided this detail as inconsequential, instead she drew attention to it.

    Guilt has a way of making people fail at deception, so she’s probably just garden-variety head-effed, rather than a full-blown sociopath like Feinstein.

  6. I’m reaching the point where I no longer want to talk to liberals. Honestly, they need to shut the fuck up before I just start calling them stupid to their face.

    I’m a pretty easy going person, but I’m beyond triggered.

  7. Can’t you just let it go? Why don’t you believe her?

  8. Between my mom and my sister, and some other liberals on facedouche … I just don’t have much tolerance left.

  9. Her house looks like shit and so does her yard. Her face isn’t winning any “I’ve grown older gracefully” awards either.

  10. She’ll be selling it after this for $800k to a private buyer.

  11. Whereas if she was conservative/Republican it would burn down one night with the occupants barely escaping with their lives. If they’re lucky.

  12. In a foul mood. Can’t get my own stuff done after work because dumb shit at work. Have to pay fees to reschedule appointments again and again because dumb shit at work.

    I can understand and tolerate a lot, until it starts costing me. Then it’s time for people to get their shit together and quit putting me out all the damn time.

  13. Hope the puppy is OK JamJam. Not much makes me sadder than a sick doggeh.

  14. How many rapes does it take to qualify as gang-rape?

  15. Elliot just barked for your puppeh, jammy. It’s a good sign.

  16. I think the gang part refers more to the number of participants than the number of times.

    For example, if you were raped repeatedly by the same tranny, it wouldn’t be considered a gang rape.

    However, if you were raped once per tranny, that would qualify for gangster status.

    Also, if you were repeatedly raped by many trannies, that would also be a gang rape and would probably be the most fun for you. Or so I’ve been led to believe.

  17. How many is many?

  18. 3+ trannies = gang bang

    Anything less is just a simple assault.

  19. Her house does not look aesthetically please from the curb, because it’s a FUCKING HOT MESS.

  20. So if Bert, Ernie, and Elmo raped Miss Piggy, MJ would go to prison?

  21. To be fair, it’s a $2 million dollar house in California. You can only do so much with that little money.

  22. Maybe she’ll use her $1 million GoFundMe to buy a perennial and a welcome mat.

  23. Fresh mulch. Something. Yikes.

  24. I started out being pretty charitable. Maybe this chick is just a useful idiot.

    Now I’m convinced that she’s in on it–maybe not from the get go, but she’s a total willing participant at this point.

    Useful dupe meets psychotic partisan lawyer. They’ve now merged.

  25. Carin and Laura should go out there and give her some gardening tips.

  26. And a kick in the crotch.

  27. I’d respect her more if she had one of those wacky yards filled with bizarre sculpture/ art.

  28. Ipsus ilium versants positus.

    If you’re going to lie about your fucking door, you’re going to lie about being felt up in high school by a future supreme court justice and remember it during counseling for marriage problems a few years after the door was put in place because you’re afraid to fly but fly all the time when it’s fun.

    I think it sounds better in latin, right Da Nang Dick?

  29. How many times did a guy get handsy with you at a college party, Car in?

    Round to the nearest dozen.

  30. Come on, MJ, you want a data set bigger than last night at work.

  31. https://madheidi.com/

  32. Plus, you are involved if you are successfully depending on the media to avoid talking about you lying about simple things.

  33. I need another door to my house. I only have (counts) 6. I need one more. Because, once … at band camp …

  34. Are you counting sliders? I mean, they’re doors but are they door doors?

  35. And about those rapes at band camp … were they rape rapes?

  36. The new house has a back door…one flight of stairs down. Totally sucks.

    But whatever. No yard. No worrying about anything. Easy living.

  37. I need another door to my house. I only have (counts) 6. I need one more. Because, once … at band camp …

    More doors means more ways for teenaged boys to sneak into your basement.

  38. Maybe Dr Ford should have peed on Brett Kavanaugh.

  39. No yard? WTF do you do on weekends? Where do you keep your livestock and compost heaps and drying firewood?

  40. Maybe I need to find my glasses but how do we know there isn’t a second door behind that screen thing in the first picture?

  41. Car in, how does you mom treat you in meatspace? Smirky to your face and talks about you behind your back? Or does she flat out treat you like she does all your friends before she blocked them?

  42. My mom usually doesn’t say anything, but she will try to sneak comments in when she assumes I won’t say anything. @@. She’s just been unbelievable the last few days.

  43. We’re already arguing over our ‘new’ house. He wants to do all the improvements himself but he’s got a day job and I’d rather the plumbing and electrical issues get farmed out and be done with it in a day or two….not two months after 8500 trips to the hardware store. Besides we’ve for budgeted the labor of outside help.

    “I don’t want to make this the most expensive house on the block.”

    “Stahp it, you’re sounding like your dad.” (His parents squeaked when they walked, they were so tight with their money. When they moved into their last house, they kept the bed frames the previous owners left that had condoms slid down over the posts!!…and the pron looking furniture in the basement and the mirrored red bathroom. Never updated anything because $$.)

  44. “budgeted for..”

  45. Beasn, tell me they at least got rid of the mirrored ceiling and the live-in porn bassist.

  46. She’s just been unbelievable the last few days.

    Sorry to hear it. Last time I talked to my mom, I was wired for three days after.
    My parents came to the funeral home. She kept it civil. She used to dye her hair blonde but no longer. My hair is now ‘blonder’ than hers. *useless info*

  47. Alex, no, every time you used the basement toilet, the bassist played in your head.
    I didn’t know about the condoms until my niece mentioned it a few months ago. WTF? Had I found such a thing, the bed frames would have been tossed out in the yard…by my husband because ain’t no way I was going to touch them.

  48. I just unfollow anybody who posts stupid lefty shit on FaceBook. Last one was a woman who posted a cartoon of Kavanaugh drinking from a cup of “White Male Privilege”

  49. As well as the rest of the furniture. Who knows what they did on those. They even left a kitchen table, which my in-laws kept/used. Crazy.

  50. Where can I obtain some of this white male privilege?

  51. I’ve spent five minutes on FB the last week. First useful thing I see, I may repoat…then I leave. Just can’t deal with the stupid.

  52. I need that coffee mug.

  53. Slow drip is coming from the safety valve at the top of the water heater, coming down the copper safety pipe and hitting the drip pan. I might be able to just replace that valve after draining the tank and brushing out whatever sediment I can. Tank’s only 7 years old, should still have more life left in it, and getting a new one and then converting it for propane isn’t in the budget at the moment.

  54. No yard? WTF do you do on weekends? Where do you keep your livestock and compost heaps and drying firewood?

    Yeah, naw.

  55. I was kinda hoping Carin’s mom would flip out with that Biden pic I posted on Carin’s FB.

  56. Pepe, she hasn’t blocked you yet?

  57. Come to think of it, my in-laws brought those bed frames here.

  58. I keep saying frame when I mean brass head/footboards.

  59. My mom knows not to comment on my page. She’ll get whipped.

  60. You don’t have to drain the tank.
    Just shut the water off, let it cool some, drain a little and relieve the pressure.
    Make sure you replace the sacrificial anode rod while your at it.

  61. MJ: What– what the HELL going on in here??

    Next door neighbor kid’s Dad: Man, calm down. We can explain. There’s a 4H fair coming up–

    MJr: Bobby’s dad is teaching me farming, Dad! Because you don’t know how.

    MJ: Jim, get out of my garage, and take that fancy chicken with you. If I see you on my property again, if you LOOK at my son again, I swear if I even catch a whiff of cedar shavings, I can’t be held responsible.


    MJ: Get in the house. Wash your hands, twice, then throw away the soap. Wait in your room. *unbuckles belt ominously*

  62. I was thinking I’d drain it and scrub out some sediment while I’m at it just to get it done.

  63. https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  64. MJ: What– what the HELL going on in here??

    Next door neighbor kid’s Dad: Man, calm down. We can explain. There’s a 4H fair coming up–

    MJr: Bobby’s dad is teaching me farming, Dad! Because you don’t know how.

    MJ: Jim, get out of my garage, and take that fancy chicken with you. If I see you on my property again, if you LOOK at my son again, I swear if I even catch a whiff of cedar shavings, I can’t be held responsible.


    MJ: Get in the house. Wash your hands, twice, then throw away the soap. Wait in your room. *unbuckles belt ominously*

    If you have a garage, you have room for a horse.

    Well, according to my grandma.


    You win the interrape today.

  66. https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  67. The phrase ‘fancy chicken’ makes me laugh all by itself.

  68. Mare you wanna see pictures of the new place?

  69. So is next week going to be Muh Stormy or Muh Russia?

    I vote for Stormy.

  70. Hell yes, MJ!

  71. MJ’s new crib

  72. Ok you’ll have to wait until we clean it up this weekend.

    We’ve had house guests for a week. Lil MJs first birthday.

    The strippers LOVED him.

  73. I didn’t know Chippendales had outcall.

  74. The strippers LOVED him.


    pppffffffffffttttt, who wouldn’t?

  75. If you have a garage, you have room for a horse.

    When the Bosnians (muslim) moved into St. Louis en masse, they would keep goats and chickens in their one car garage. City officials didn’t want to look rayciss by telling them it’s against the law/public health codes.
    Yes, they’d slaughter them and toss entrails out in the alley.

    Germans didn’t do that when they moved in decades earlier. They had butcher shops and kept critters in pens, out in their licensed yards.

  76. Germans didn’t do that when they moved in decades earlier. They had butcher shops and kept critters in pens, out in their licensed yards.

    As a descendant of Germans, I suggest that it’s our oppressive white patriarchal culture of basic hygiene and the desire to not die of horrific diseases brought on by living near poorly-disposed-of entrails.

  77. beasn, where do you put the entrails when you’re done gutting liberals?

  78. The first rule of gutting is that you do not talk about gutting.

    *thinks about buying that Vlad the Impaler t-shirt warrior dot com is advertising in my inbox (SYWM)*

  79. Germans didn’t do that when they moved in decades earlier. They had butcher shops and kept critters in pens, out in their licensed yards

    Not to mention, they were smart enough to make sausage out of the spare parts instead of wasting it.
    I doubt that they raped their livestock, either.

  80. https://tinyurl.com/yddyffp9

  81. You would be correct, chi. Mr. Beasn’s uncle was a butcher at one point of his many occupations. He lurved making the sausages…and head cheese. Bleh.

    My MIL likes to chuckle when telling the story how she gave Uncle Joe, Mr. B’s pet rabbit, and he ate him for dinner. Said they felt kind of awful knowing they were eating their beloved nephew’s pet, but it was tasty.

  82. And this one. Love the saying..

  83. I love St. Michael. People forget that “archangel” is the second-to-lowest rank of the heavenly choir. St. Michael is the everyman, working-class angel who stood up to Satan (a seraphim, the highest choir) and threw him out of Heaven. The promotion comes after that, but he’s still an archangel.

  84. Here’s a new one!

    Brett Kavanaugh was making calls and sending texts IN JULY to head off publication of Deborah Ramirez’ allegations that she didn’t advance until September. Can we all say Consciousness of Guilt everybody?

  85. laura’s new Tuesday candle

  86. Well, my cell service is out. They’re apparently upgrading the cell tower. It should only take a couple of days …

    WTF? A couple of days an no phone at home.

  87. Follow-up from yesterday: Remember that friend and her employment cock-up I mentioned? Yeah…just learned some details I’d been wholly ignorant of. Suffice it to say: Situation was not, in fact, as it had originally been presented to me.

    You’d think I would know better than this by now, but damn.

  88. People never want to give the details of the story that either make them look bad, or reveal their culpability. It’s sort of a thing I live by. Whenever I hear one side of a story …

  89. Of course, nothing bad is EVER said about me.

  90. Oh no, new video just broke.

    Kavanaugh kicking a woman

  91. Try gardening. Or cross fit.

    That fixes everything.

  92. Imma steal that, Jay.

  93. Fair enough, since I stole it too.

  94. Running.

  95. So lefties sent ricin to Mattis…white powder to Cruz…and Kavanaugh has had to decline a teaching gig at Harvard because the hoi polloi, tyrants in training don’t understand the concept of ‘innocent until proven guilty’.

  96. They don’t care at all about guilt or innocence, Beasn, it’s about keeping him off the bench and doing harm to those who oppose them. They aren’t political opponents, they are insurrectionists.

  97. Pole barn guy that I called after my repair materials had already been sitting in the yard for a week finally answered when I called him again. “They didn’t cover up the wood?”

    No dipshit, that’s what I said in my voicemail last week, asking when you were coming, saying I couldn’t move it, and asking if I should cover it up.

    He claims he’s coming to cover it and that the work will happen next week.

  98. I’m not a bad customer, I understand delays and I value quality workmanship, I just want communication. It’s cheap to do, and helps maintain trust, and this guy is fucking awful at it.

  99. It’s on me, really, I’m the dipshit that thought he’d be here on schedule and didn’t cover it because I didn’t want to trap moisture under the tarp after the first fucking rainstorm after it had sat there for 3 days with no communication from the builder.

  100. I hate non-communication

  101. Haha, Jeff Goldstein is on FIRE on twitter

  102. What’s his handle, Jay?

  103. @proteinwisdom

  104. Thanks, Jay. I thought I use to follow him, then he ticked me off so I stopped following him.

  105. Haha, he is rather direct.

  106. https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  107. Ok, he just threw ice at somebody once in the 80s.


  108. Obama did drugs, Clinton raped and Kennedy killed. All OK.

    Ice throwing party planner? Big problem.

  109. LOL

  110. Check out the opening to the new AOS post. Clown Bus Crash Party.

  111. Dead?

  112. Dead.

  113. Yup.

  114. Tax cuts did it.

  115. I was going to blame Lindsey Pinochet.

  116. Schumer talking about independent thinkers on the Supreme Court makes me laugh. So disingenuous.

  117. Thinking the average American is disgusted by all of this.

    I have a feeling that the wave wont be big, or even blue, and I can’t wait to see their stupid faces next month.

  118. Throwing ice in a fight? Hell, one of the fights I was in, I was throwing rocks!

  119. Well, say goodbye to the Supreme Court, Winger!

  120. Well, I do look good in black, but that’s about all I have going for me.

  121. No it isn’t.

  122. Bolshevik Barbie flunked civics class (but you knew that).

  123. Schumer can GFH. He makes my skin crawl.

  124. Went over to new house to meet up with window guy. Should have a quote tomorrow. Probably will be $5-6k to replace all of the windows. Lots of windows in this little house. Three bedrooms…two double windows in each.

    Partially pulled up the carpet in the livingroom and master bedroom. SOMETHING WE SHOULD HAVE ASKED TO DO BEFORE FINALIZING THE OFFER. The floors are in bad – not terrible shape. The house was a rental the last eight years and it looks like, in the master, they had a dog that pissed many times on the floor. That, or they had a kegger and dumped the thing on the floor. In the living/diningroom…big stain under the window. Looks like some dumbass may have left a window open while it was raining. Some shrinkage in the boards but no buckling.

    I’ll try to poat a couple of pictures tomorrow and you all can tell me if I can buff it out.

  125. Either way, it’s got to be sanded. Not too concerned about deep scratches.

    This house hasn’t been loved in a long time. We’ll fix that even if I wind up cutting a bish if he don’t stop with his stepping on my dreams*.

    * new argument…the mature maple in the backyard is too close to the house and on top of the wires. We agree it should come down..but disagree on when. And when I suggested we get it cut into planks to make a table or something, he says it’s too soft. I say FUCKSALT!, there is no harm in asking and how the fuckity fu does he know it’s too soft. If a branch fell on his head, the branch will wonder what flavor pudding it fell into.

  126. Heh, I just saw that 25% one.

  127. MJr.’s first day of school


  128. Mare nailed the high five


  129. Fuck, I missed the sword vs. spear debate at the HQ.

  130. Holy shit, Pepe!

  131. High dive, freaking autocorrect……

  132. I don’t know which of your links made my stomach drop to my feet, more.

  133. Thundering and raining like a mufaku tonight. Drive home was uneventful except for the sudden daytime views afforded by rips of lightning. Some roads are flooded but not the ones I needed.

    Whose turn is it to rub a little bacon grease on sleeping-Leon’s upper lip and give him good dreams all night?

  134. Trump went full DJT on Ford, tonight. DJTjr wished his 7 year old a happy birthday and posted concerns that his sons have to worry about false accusations. Whoopi basically said don’t raise white privileged rapists…and 45 mocked “The Victim”. I guess recent polls out of MO and ND are looking more like a Red Wave.

  135. I H8 UB40. Attendance at a UB40 concert should be enough to garner a “No” vote on BK

  136. Oso, it depends on the bust size of whichever date dragged him to the concert.

  137. Assuming facts not in evidence, CoAl. BK might be a huge UB40 fan.

  138. Trump should go full DJT on those behind Ford.

    I always get nervous when Trump goes full DJT. Especially in this case. The Swamp salivates.

  139. Down early. Really pooped.

  140. G’nite sean!

  141. FLOTUS is in Africa. I love her so much. Where is the coverage?

  142. Ex-boyfriend of Ford breaks silence. Suggests she may have perjured herself to Judiciary committee. She told the committee she never did coach anyone on taking a lie detector test. He witnessed her coaching a friend, who was interviewing for a job in government (FBI), for that very thing.
    Also refutes some of her other claims.


  143. Sean was in a crappy time zone watching Cubs baseball. At least Memphis has Beale street and good food.

  144. Beasn, dude, she has #MeToo cred. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Whenever this type of shit surfaces, I get fucked up. I have to start meeting with my survivor groups. I have to curtail bad habits. I get stuck reliving this shit.

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