Weekend funnies

Saturday morning, coffee’s ready. Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder.


Squishy hugs, and have a good day.


  1. Good morning!

    Last few nights have been cool enough to sleep with the windows open and a fan instead of the AC. We’re supposed to have a return to hazy/hot/humid this week which mostly sucks for the kids back at school wishing it was still vacation time. It’s just training for the harsh reality of how the rest of their lives will be lived.

  2. Rowan woke us up this morning by hopping up on the bed, tip toeing to the bedside table and grabbing his Nylabone to chew at the foot of the bed. When you’re trying to sleep it sounds and feels like there’s a chainsaw running in your room.

  3. It’s been pop-up showers most of this week.

    Something must be wrong with the bug trap, as the gnats are really bad.

  4. This is the wrong place to be talking about someone’s mom, but I did find it interesting that Roberta McCain was born before Arizona became a state. Also born before the Titanic sank.

  5. https://tinyurl.com/yc99h7qr

  6. wakey wakey

  7. Maybe the gnat trap needs a meat lure

    Snap trap caught one mouse. Three other traps are set up in their usual haunts. I’ll need more for the fall and winter.

  8. September!

    Maybe this madness will settle down a bit.

  9. i like kasporov

  10. Moarning Bishes! The lads birthday supper went smooth and then he went out with his buds, he made it home in one piece. We meet with tattooist at 12:30 to go over the artwork, etc. Other than that, I have the weekend off. I could always straighten up the garage and the man cave, wash the car, groom the dog,………naaaaaaaawww. So what are you monkey bastards not going to do this weekend?

  11. Welp I’m supposed to be canning umptybleen ‘super marzano’ tomatoes with Houseguest, but since I’m tired and she’s not here, na hap’nin. I want to go back to bed. Worked the last three days with the same patient assignment each day. I wanted to give one of these patients back to God. Oof. She was a real test of endurance.

  12. Today begins the four month period where I actually use the $108 per month cable tv package. Don’t fuck it up ncaa.

  13. Trying out Hulu Live for today’s games, works fine on the chromebook but TV nyet, Firestick already has Hulu and won’t take a new account without more attention than I am willing to give it today. So, college football on my lap and rolling cigarettes are pretty much the agenda.

    Gnats in both bathroom sinks too, fruit flies I guess. Don’t seem attracted to the apple cider so I may cook them a hamburger.

  14. i’ve heard that firesticks love to be side loaded with various apps

  15. i’ve got the urge to go metal detecting

  16. scott – i’ve found 1916 & 1921 mercs.
    my brother sold a bunch of the stuff we found one time. he got over $200 for one of the mercs…

    one REALLY important piece of advice – don’t rub the dirt off of the coins you find. it will fuxxor the value. you are in an area where there are truly valuable coins that have been lost. some of the colonial tokens ppl would sell their wive’s for.

  17. resist you much – about that

  18. ahh-ite – gonna go monkey somthing up.
    later melanogasters

  19. Drain flies.

  20. Pop’s viewing was Weds and his funeral, Thursday. I could’t wind down Wednesday night to sleep and it’s 9am Thurs. morning and I’m telling Mr. B. I haven’t been to bed yet! I tried just meeting them for mass but too dizzy to drive. Which sucks because Mr. B gave his dad a great send off with his eulogy without crying, and the lunch afterwards, at Bartolinos, was fabulous. Pops would have loved both.

    He spent most of yesterday helping his mom with settling financial stuff. With the death certificate, she no longer has access to the credit card — they rarely used it anyway and all stock accounts are frozen until he can get her over there to either open accounts in her name or cash out. It was surprising to find out, other than his wife, he listed no other beneficiaries on his various investment portfolios.

    Which reminds us to make sure both of our names are on all accounts and credit cards….and the kids are listed as beneficiaries. On everything. Makes life much easier, especially if one doesn’t have a will. Yet.

  21. Yeah, you have drain flies. They are hard to get rid of.

  22. Today will be laundry and feeding the plants.

  23. Pretty good top 20.


  24. Wow, Beasn. So MIL wasn’t joint owner on the accounts?

    My FIL thought the accounts were frozen when MIL died, but that wasn’t the case. If it’s a joint account, it doesn’t have to wait for probate. We ended up having to split the cost of MIL’s funeral with SIL because he thought he couldn’t pay. He had some cockamamie story about how he’d be arrested if he tried to use the account of a decedent.

  25. Beasn, please check your cabbage mail.

  26. You front holes are being too productive.
    I thought at best you’d be wrapping some crap in phyllo dough today.

  27. Condolences, Beasn.

    I strongly urge *all** of you to have a living trust. It *really* makes things easier for your families.

  28. Looks like Ohio State is going to lick the Beavers.

  29. beasn – what time did the show start when you went?

  30. Wow, Beasn. So MIL wasn’t joint owner on the accounts?

    She is joint on the bank accounts but not the credit card or investment portfolios – which is weird because he has a nice chunk of change in them and both were usually diligent in financial matters. On those she is listed as beneficiary. Mr. B has to get her over there asap to open an acct in her name so she can roll those assets over or cash out (and put her sons as beneficiaries.) She’ll most likely open the account because they’ve been living off the dividends they bring.

  31. roamy, I checked my cabbage and responded.

  32. car in, a month before the concert, they changed the time to 6 pm.
    We got to our seats about 6:15, midway through Bad Wolves. Nothing More, who were awesome, was next. FFDP was third. BB was last.

  33. Hopefully the weather holds. Cries. Thunderstorms are threatened. boo hiss.

  34. Mr. B’s parents did have joint bank accts and right before Pops went downhill, he went with his sons to put them on as beneficiaries. I think it is odd he didn’t do that sooner. When we opened our bank accounts, that is something we did automatically because why wouldn’t you when it’s right there?

  35. Car in, take a plastic poncho or two. We had storms that moved through earlier in the day and later rain wound up drifting south. I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you.

  36. I do have one. I bet my friend has one for herself. She’s sensible like that.

  37. Beasn, maybe it’s a generational thing. Aretha Franklin died without a will.

  38. My mother is beside herself with accolades about the McCain funeral. It’s too much.

  39. In theory, I am on Dad’s joint account. I was added when Mom was alive, and I had to be there to add stepmom. For all I know, Dad closed that account and opened another one.

  40. You can get disposable rainsuits in the camping/fishing Dept at wally world for like 99¢. They’re folded up into a package that fits in your pocket.

    Speaking of rainsuits, the thunder above the house right now is scary loud. No rain yet, but The Gods Are Bowling, as Grandma use to say. Doggo is trying to find some place to hide, but I don’t have a big enough pile of dirty clothes for him.

  41. I have successfully avoided McCain’s funeral part XXVIII today.

    Shopped for groceries, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom. Going to straighten up the dining room, living room, and foyer before Mass, Rocketboy has company coming over tonight. (mutters about freakin’ D&D)

  42. As I left earlier this morning I saw Meghan McCain delivering her eulogy and at the end of it, the part I saw, she was in tears. Understandable, her father just died. The over the top coverage is hard to take. All because he and Trump were enemies. Had he been a Trump backer I’m sure this would be a mere footnote with all the cable news focus on Aretha and her service.

  43. I cannot stress this enough – everybody needs to have a will. And to have primary and secondary beneficiaries on everything. Otherwise, the government could end up being in charge of your estate, and/or everything that you leave behind will be distributed among your heirs, including your crazy left-wing loser relatives….

  44. I’ve not watched one second of either Franklin’s or McCain’s slobberfest.

    Though I did read what the Reverend at Aretha’s funeral said….slamming the fatherless homes in the black community and the black on black crime. Some people are frothing at the mouth over what he said ignoring the fact that the family…and most likely Aretha…asked him to speak. Pretty sure they knew what he’s about.

  45. It was a ashame the antisemitic racists, hustlers, grifters, and rapist were given front row seats.

  46. McCain couldn’t be president, so he stayed in office just so that he could have the closest thing to a presidential funeral.

    A very vain, insecure, petty end to a very vain, insecure, and petty life.

    I do feel sorry for his mother and his children.

  47. Got the lawn mowed, made a dump run and bought meat for smoking tomorrow. Two racks of ribs and a chicken.

    I’ve let the boy mow the last few times and he does an okay job but skips a lot of areas I get in close on that he just avoids because it takes too much time. I got in close to a rose bush and kicked up a bunch of rock mulch. A minute later Paula came out waving her hands at me. Turns out I shot a rock at the screen door and it shattered. All the glass on the first floor is covered with a layer of security plastic like this


    It’s the only thing keeping the glass in place right now. Thankfully it’s not a door we use very often.

  48. I’m ‘joint’ on both of our kid’s bank accounts and will be until they get married. Beasnette said she put me and her dad as beneficiaries for her other stuff. Beasnson only put Mr. B as beneficiary on his stock portfolio. I’m going to have to kick his ass.

  49. What Jimbro said. I have no doubt the over-the-top McCain slobber is the media poking at Trump and taunting him into saying something.

    He hasn’t said anything yet, so they’re blasting him for not giving McCain any mention at his rallies.

  50. Teresa or anyone else, how much does it cost to make a will via a lawyer? Or is there a reliable on-line place to do one’s own?

  51. Some years back, my B and SIL did their will and it ran a bit over $1000 to get everything in order. Mr. B. said that was more than he was willing to pay.

  52. Beasn, Mr. RFH and I got ours done for $600.

  53. I should say, that was total for two wills, power of attorney, living will, and I forget what else, but it was all one package. Plus the lawyer is keeping a copy in his vault in case mine goes missing.

  54. So nice of McCain and his family to host a “Trump 2020” rally.

  55. What a waste of a day. I hate it when my body says, “NOPE.” I had so much stuff planZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  56. It’s pouring rain outside, which is nice when you don’t have to go anywhere, but annoying because I can’t go do anything. So I’m watching Jack Ryan and so far it is stupid.

  57. I did at least manage to put a sheet pan of halved marzanos in the oven to roast low and slow for a few hours. Trying out the slow-roast method of preserving tomatoes. After this they get chilled and frozen.

  58. Scott has been getting a shittonne of fun out of the metal detector.

    In other news, our lawn is getting deeply aerated.

    Scott is cursing himself for all the bottlecaps he’s flicked/flung over the years.

    I asked him to go run that thing over the new portion of veggie garden that I haven’t broken the ground in yet. ;p

  59. I would love to take a metal detector around town to see what I could find.
    Not just all the tourist beaches, but in old downtown.
    People don’t think of Norfolk as historic, but it’s one of the oldest little cities in the country. Heck, St. Paul’s Church has a cannonball lodged in the wall that was fired from the HMS Liverpool during the Revolutionary War.
    It’s one of very few buildings in the area that survived the fires set during the war.

    Probably a lot of very cool shit just a few feet down all around here.
    Why have I never invested in a metal detector?

  60. I’m asking my folks for one for Christmas or my birthday. I need to be able to police pastures for stray nails and screws.

  61. I bet they’re a dime a dozen in every pawn shop in town. I should check, but first need to research a bit and see what is worth a crap and what isn’t..
    What say you, Scoot?

  62. Beasn, I’m probably not the best person to ask about attorney costs, only because we had to have extra verbiage in ours to make sure that Rebecca won’t lose her benefits after we die. We also went ahead and set up trusts for Sarah (spendthrift) and Rebecca (supplemental needs) so that we can start funding them now. All of that costs a lot more….

    But $1000 is not a bad price for two wills and the standard accompanying stuff. You definitely want to have medical power of attorney – it’s not assumed, and if there is any question about it at a difficult time, it’s one less thing that you have to worry about.

    At some point, you will probably want to set up a revocable living trust to shelter your assets in case you have to go into a nursing home – otherwise, Medicare can require you to spend everything that you have saved and/or come after those assets when you die.

    That’s why it is worth it to get the help of a GOOD attorney – you can leave more to your heirs and stiff the government at the same time…..

  63. Hulu live has locked up 6 times, if it doesn’t get more stable I’m out.

    Appalachian State is taking Penn State to OT.

  64. Back at work. It’s good to be getting back into some kind of routine. I took Mom and my aunt to see Christopher Robin yesterday. If anyone is looking for some wholesome family entertainment, that’s a good one. Just make sure if you take your kids that they aren’t kicking the back of the seat in front of them for the entire movie like the little monster behind me was doing until I turned around and gave his grandma a look that made it clear that there was straight-up fucking murder in my heart.

  65. lol, I bet she shat her britches

  66. The really cheap ones don’t tell what type of metal it has found.

    They can still be fun, but you spend your day digging up gum wrappers and pull tabs. The planet is paved with pull tabs.

    The one I got is pretty good at identifying metal, and filtering out the stuff I am not interested in. I think I paid $220.

    People who are serious spend over $1000

  67. One of these guys buzzed my backyard and landed on the neighbors chimney.


    It took me a minute to realize that there is such a thing as a blue falcon.

  68. Beautiful bird. I am a big fan of raptors.

  69. Oooo, pretty, pupster. We’ve got a couple of those around here and a family of hawks.

    Thanks Teresa, for your input. Will have to search out a good atty.

    *puts metal detector on Mr. B’s Christmas list. Maybe.*

  70. Picked up some pulled pork on the way home from church.


  71. https://is.gd/L4eOPp

  72. Shave club

  73. One of the D&D players has one of the stupidest hairstyles I’ve ever seen. His head is mostly shaved, with a topknot ponytail dyed blue. He looks like a Hare Krishna that got swirlyed in a toilet with Ty-D-Bowl cleaner.

    Mr. RFH walked past me and muttered “Hipster alert”.

  74. The only people who have any business having topknots of any color are Shaolin monks and the pharaoh of Egypt.

  75. (((hugs Sean)))

    How ya holdin’ up?

  76. I’m doing okay, roamy. Mom and my brother and my aunt came out to see me take a cake at my morning meeting, and it was pretty emotional. I know he was proud of me, but it was hard not having him physically there.

  77. Congrats on the seven years, Sean. Definitely something to be proud of.

    It takes time. I think I’m finally to the point where I don’t think about calling Mom about something, and I’ve been able to go through old photos, letters, and recipes in her handwriting without getting wrapped around the axle. Still miss her. Funny things still set me off. I can wear one of Mom’s shirts (a Wyoming t-shirt with wildflowers) but I still can’t wear the butterfly shirt I was wearing when she died. “Southern Cross” by Crosby, Stills, and Nash sets me off because I can still hear her singing the wrong lyrics.

    I think Teresa has the right idea for getting out of town on Michelle’s anniversary. Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays are always hard.

  78. I think that’s one of the things that’s going to be hard–August was a month I looked forward to because it means celebrating another year sober, but from now on, it’s going to be bittersweet.

    And, yeah, I may have to retire the David Bowie shirt I was wearing when I heard the news.

  79. Well, hold on to the shirt for now. Try writing some more poems. Make it another day sober.

  80. https://tinyurl.com/ybnedwxe

  81. It’s been eleven years, and I still catch myself wanting to ask dad questions.

  82. This guy finds all the good stuff on Faceplant so you don’t have to.


  83. Will do. On all three. My mom asked me to read one of the last poems of mine that he got to read before they left for Maui during my remarks at his service. I was nervous as hell because I’ve never read anything like that in public, but it went over well.

  84. Good deal, Sean.

    XBrad, I swear, one of these days I will poat on your blog again.

  85. b-rad has a blog?

  86. If you really love nothing
    On what future do we build illusions?
    If you really love nothing
    Do we derp in silent glory?
    If you really love nothing
    What part of betrayal do you wish to deny?

  87. gambernem

  88. OK, today is tomato canning day.

  89. Roamy’s Shave Club link above made me laugh. I have had to disassemble my razors and put them in the medicine cabinet for years to avoid having them used for ball shaving. I’ve gone from the new 5 blade models to an old school 2 blade Atra and recently switched back to old school Mach 3.

    I just don’t understand the current trend of ball shaving. To be honest I haven’t tried too hard to understand it other than to point and laugh.

  90. Yesterday Scott discovered we were almost out of mayo right after we came home from the grocery store. I was like, “That’s okay, I can make some nice homemade mayonnaise.” And he didn’t say anything.

    When he is silent like that I know he’s thinking “I don’t want or trust your poxy homemade stuff, I want a fresh jar of my Cain’s mayonnaise, woman,” and I die a little bit inside because I know I’ll go through the effort and make something really nice but he won’t even try it.

  91. Someday, not today because he has your MOM (Mayo On Mind), make it and secretly substitute it for his regular mayonnaise.

    Then step back and wait for the accolades.

  92. I even told him that since we have the sous vide machine, I can actually pasteurize the eggs now before making the mayo, just in case the raw egg thing bothers him.

    More silence.

  93. Nice idea Jimbro but nah, I think he would react badly. Violation of food trust issue, you know.

  94. Our upstairs bathroom gets a lot of use for showers and because the fan isn’t that effective we’re plagued with mildew in the upper edges of the shower. We’ve tried a number of cleaning products over the years (by “we” I mean Paula, but you knew that) and nothing worked super well. About a month ago I was in the Depot looking for mulch and I saw this stuff on an end cap and thought, “What the hell?”


    It works fantastic. Paula came outside because she was so delighted and because she needed fresh air. Stuff is awfully stinky. Phase II is today and I can smell the fumes already.

  95. Is McCain’s funeral FINALLY over? Between that and Aretha’s …

  96. Morning.


  97. L to R; food trust issues, culinary curiosity


  98. Our upstairs bath is the same way. Last Winter we finally just put a dehumidifier in there.

    That bathroom is usually pretty chilly in Winter, too, but the dehumidifier makes it warm and comfy after your shower. Bonus.

  99. Carin, no, it’s not over. They are still rehashing everything from yesterday on the news. (Meghan said stuff against Trump! Let me show you my shocked face.) Burial is today at the Naval Academy.

  100. https://tinyurl.com/y9hn4mlb

    Who’s feeding the cats?

  101. Scott is taking his new girlfriend to the beach today. https://is.gd/0Myhzj

  102. Why are some conservatives pissed off at Dubya today? Did he join in the Trump-bash at McCain’s funeral? I thought his speech looked okay. Full of eye-rolling bullshit, but not political.

  103. This is precious. Ridiculously so.


  104. One box of crap decluttered.

    I’m happy that the only cleaning I’ve had to do so far from last night D&D game is run the dishwasher. Haven’t checked the bathrooms yet.

  105. https://is.gd/jMc2aR

  106. Cute, Pupster!

  107. I washed my balls for this?

  108. I poked my head in earlier today and opted to leave mine unwashed

  109. Could not find my PBC hangers today. I used them last fall and they seem to have gone missing since then. I’m using my Weber on low with the smoke box Scott made. So far so good. My grill is on the porch and there’s a fantastic view of the river but it’s very windy. I need to keep watching the thermometer to make sure the low flame doesn’t blow out.

  110. Yeah, we know. *gets flyswatter*

  111. While looking for the hangers I did manage to clean a lot of shit out of my cluttered office. Paula was pretty happy about that

  112. That hurts. My balls were washed just yesterday at night and it’s been cool around here so the maggots haven’t grown back yet.

  113. I just ordered a set of new hangers and the turkey hanger.

    Smoked turkey … it’s gonna be great!

  114. Ben just emailed me a link to an Airsoft gun. His birthday is at the end of the month. Wonder if that’s a hint?

  115. https://is.gd/YYjwRB

  116. https://is.gd/SnycOl

  117. Just replaced the dome light in Hotspur’s galley. After 26 years I guess the switch just said “fuck it.” I hope it isn’t a common problem. There are 5 others aboard, and they’re $25 a piece.

  118. PBC has a turkey hanger??

    *rubs chin*

  119. Not much going on here. Kids are up. But just chilling. I had a busy day yesterday, so there is a lot of decompressing occurring.

  120. There are 5 others aboard, and they’re $25 a piece.

    Let us know if you need us to start a “go me” fund.

  121. Car in, did you get rained on last night?

  122. Three day weekend, nice.

    A little behind, but joint accounts are a present help after someone passes. Dad had me put on his accounts when we realized what was happening to him–made it easier to handle bills while he was alive, and final expenses when that time came.

    Of course I got nobody to put on mine, so the living will just have to suck it up… 😉

  123. No!!! It turned out great.

  124. Backyard fire pit lit, hot dogs roasted, weather is perfect today.


  125. Let us know if you need us to start a “go me” fund.


  126. I cooked pork tenderloins and ribs on the egg knockoff. Freedom fries for the carb eaters and broccoli slaw.

  127. Ribs came out okay. They were a little dry since I had to keep the flame up because of the wind. PBC makes perfect ribs, I really gotta find those hooks…

  128. Happy Commie Day Weekend, Front Holes.

  129. PBC is awesome for all pork products.

  130. Speaking of pork products, how’s your mom?

  131. LSU, much like your Mom, is blowing out Miami.

  132. I need to make ribs.

  133. Argh. Mom tossed my Star Trek action figures but kept the Evel Knievel motorcycle.

    It was in a box with my grandfather’s Bible, a nativity set, a Ray Stevens videotape, and a stack of printed-out emails. (That together reads like a Rosetta shopping list. All I need now is a bottle of vodka, a thermos of coffee, and .357 ammo.)

  134. ISU game was cancelled last night because of lightning.

    I wonder why they can’t play it the next day. seems silly to stop the whole thing.

  135. PBC ribs is top of the food chain.

  136. Argh. Mom tossed my Star Trek action figures but kept the Evel Knievel motorcycle.

    It was in a box with my grandfather’s Bible, a nativity set, a Ray Stevens videotape, and a stack of printed-out emails. (That together reads like a Rosetta shopping list. All I need now is a bottle of vodka, a thermos of coffee, and .357 ammo.)

    Could you please check in the box to see if there’s a bag of ice, a baseball signed by Dick Butkus, a copy of the April, 1978 issue of Penthouse, and a hubcap from a 1992 Dodge Neon?

  137. Just got back home from Vegas. Good show, but they are soooooo tiring. Gonna try and rest tomorrow.

  138. Not sure where he picked it up, but my buddy got me a Grumpy McGrumperson mini tag for my 7th birthday. Glad you had a good show. All the merch looked awesome.

  139. good live version of Say Something. Love the harmonies in this song, both the voices and the guitars.

    Live on The Tonight Show: Say Something, Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton

    Timberlake’s vocals get harmonies in the background, but Stapleton stands alone.

  140. welcome home, Pepe!

  141. Excellent song, Jay. I love Chris Stapleton’s Tennessee Whiskey.

  142. Fall is in the evening air!!!! (Daytime temps still are hotter ‘n Hades, but at least it’s starting to cool off at night)

  143. been cooler here, too. high 50s in the AM feels really good.

  144. Darren eventually remarried Patricia.

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