Shut Yer Pie Hole!

Old white man’s term: Vagina

New awesome unicorn term: Front Hole

Today we’re going to play “Which would you prefer to go in your front hole?”


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Before any of you size queens commit to any of these binary choices please realize this is a theoretical exercise only. No one but your mom would actually commit to placing any of these objects into their front hole. At least not without seeing the $20 bill first.


Happy Thursday!



  1. Hatched. Definitely hatched.

  2. Dropped my truck off for an oil change and tire rotation this morning. Asked the guy to take a look at the door locks too. Driver side only opens, passenger side only closes. I’ve made it work for a while but I’m nervous it will get worse someday and lock me out permanently. I’ve tried powdered graphite and silicone spray (at different times) with no luck.

  3. So, the case against Manafort was overwhelming. Why only 8 counts, then?

  4. The door locks? Are they electric, or manual?

  5. Did someone stomp this poat already?



  6. I had an early phone call from the boss. I’ve got a full day of actual technical work.

  7. Today is already indicating that it’s going to suck.

  8. Yea. It probably is going to suck. Let’s try to make the best of it though.

    By Day Drinking.

  9. If we’re day drinking, I’m gonna play Keno.

  10. i have a interview (depending if he shows) of a prospective victim….I mean candidate for employment….I have a Service Agreement to review and get feedback of from our WC provider…..I have some health benefits stuff to update for a employee…..I have to update our job labor costs and employee PTO records…and after that, I need to spank my monkey if yer mom doesn’t stop by on her normal rounds

  11. Pretty sure they’re manual. As in, turn key – door open. I close them with the little button thing on the door for the most part as I exit but you can close them with the key too. It doesn’t have one of those little fobs so you can open them from a distance.

  12. Ba haaa haaa ..
    Well played, Coalex.

  13. Trashman…..the unsung hero’s of civilization…..

    Can you imagine a city without “trashmen”? Cant have a city without trashmen. No trashmen, and within three months the area would become uninhabitable….

    This also represents a infrastructure vulnerability for the Urbans. Disrupt sanitation and shit piles up quick….hmmmmmmm……

  14. WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS, the next slow-ass sub-85 to screw up my order and give me lip about correcting it will wind up with the ENTIRE CONTENTS of the back of my truck be shoved into every current hole they have AND A FEW NEW ONES TO BOOT.

    So. Help. Me. God.

  15. Definitely a problem for the cities. Between a burn pile and a compost pile I think we could deal with 80% of our trash here, maybe more if we got creative.

  16. I pay for trash service, but I could haul my recyclables to the center myself on a monthly or even quarterly basis if I had chickens to eat my meat scraps.

    I might not have mentioned it, but I got the truck back yesterday. Turned out the starter died coincidentally while I was swapping the solenoid.

  17. Test those components, leon!

  18. Speaking of trucks, I know we have votes for Toyotas, and Fords. I like the GMC look the best. Anyone have one?

  19. I had a Chevy S-10 twice, but they don’t make it anymore.

  20. I’m thinking of going to a V-8 Tundra when we recover our cash reserves a bit.

  21. I was given the use of a full size Tundra while my frame was being replaced under recall. It took a while to get used to the size of it but by the end of almost 6 weeks I was used to it. Much tougher to parallel park than my Tacoma which I’m happier with. Well, all but the sticky locks.

  22. “Twenty years ago, in 1998, according to Census Bureau data, only 36.9 percent of Americans under 18 lived in a household receiving means-tested government assistance. In 2008, the percentage broke 40 percent for the first time. In 2013, it broke 50 percent for the first time.”

    Good job, Obama.

  23. I always default to function over form unless I have two equal choices, then form comes into play. I have never had a allegiance to any manufacturer of pretty much anything, but my in-laws will argue Ford Vs. Chevy almost to the point of butthurt….

  24. I don’t think I’ve ever had a vehicle with less than 60k miles on it when I got it. 100k is more common. “Drive it ’till it dies” is the family philosophy (with the one exception of the Altima we sold once it was clear dad wasn’t driving anymore, and we just used “his” truck–now mine).

  25. He was a great recruiter for the Free Shit Army. Plus the waves of illegals getting government bennies didn’t hurt the #s.

  26. For a truck, looks mean 0 to me. I want it to work, every time. I don’t care how rough the ride is or if the radio is shitty and it has no AC. I just want it to start, haul, and stop with minimal maintenance.

  27. Yep. People at the Ford dealership thought I was nutty when I answered every question with “I don’t care”.

  28. Test drive? No thanks.

  29. Well, the Mrs. will be driving this for the most part, and the GMC was the one we agreed looked the best. She’s smaller, and that is lower profile. I like the Fords too. She loved the Dodge Ram she drove as a rental for work one time. Made her change her mind about trucks, after my v6 Dakota.

  30. Trucks have too much luxury packed in these days, honestly. I’d rather buy a stripped-down fleet vehicle for a lot cheaper. Give me one of those things destined for Penske and I’m set.

  31. My truck is the base model and the only thing it doesn’t have that I miss is an intermittent setting for the windshield wipers.

  32. i had a ’99 ram 1500 sport – ran it till it puked : good truck

    still have a 2007 chevy avalanche (not sure if that qualifies as a truck (it’s on a suburban frame) – 257000 miles hasn’t puked yet, but it’s thinking about it. I’m not a gm fan but that thing has been great. the ride is by far the best of any truck i’ve driven.
    my brother and dad always ran chevy’s and had good luck with them +/- the occasional tree falling on them or rolling them over in a snow storm.

    i’ve driven fords, nissans, and toyotas. not a ford fan. the toyotas seem to go forever and don’t rust out as bad as the others. but they are a rough ride. the nissans feel cheap. i don’t think of them as a serious truck contender if you need to work it.

    toyotas are actually made in the US, so there’s that.

    for my next truck i’ll probably go with a used toyota unless i can find another avalanche that’s clean (they’re not made any more).

  33. I’ve got a 2005 tacoma that runs well. I like it, even if it’s starting to look like crap due to the abuse its seen.

  34. The best trucks to use however are the ones you borrow. You can beat the fuck out of them and they’re not your problem.

  35. Colex – can I borrow your truck this weekend ?

  36. My brother is a big Chevy fan. I had a Dakota, and every Dodge I know has paint problems, so I’m shying away from them. Plus I put 3 transfer cases in that truck. The 2 rebuilts lasted longer than the 2 originals. I like the Tundra, but it’s more expensive than others in the same class. I just like the styling of the GMC, plus Sierra is a cooler name than Silverado.

  37. I hear Ford is making a Raptor version of the the Ranger. I’d like to test drive that.
    I’m partial to the Fords in full size. Dodge of you need/want a diesel (Cummins, duh).
    But if I had cash to blow on a new truck right now, it’d probably be a Tacoma.

  38. About a year before I started working here the company got the supervisors new company trucks……the fucking things are loaded to include gawdamn XM radio, leather seats, carpet, everything……a far cry from the large GC I labored for in DC waaaay back in the day that had a fleet of 5 speed manuals with vinyl floors and seats, AM radio and air conditioning was rolling down the window and opening the lil triangle shaped vent window….

    This has been a peev of mine and Im waiting for the next op to purchase cause I’m going to throw a tantrum to get fleet vehicles vs this overloaded luxury crap. In my mind the Big Boss and the Primary Project Manager get the lux (they’ve earned it) Stupidvisors get fleet.

  39. opening the lil triangle shaped vent window….
    Heh, I forgot about those!

  40. I absolutely LOVED the little triangle windows. Perfect for smokers. And I loved those fleet vehicles, as the laborer I could take a freaking garden hose to the interior and have it clean up spic n span most ricky tick. The 5 speed manuals were great for when it was muddy, could pull stuff pretty good… overall they were just the right product for the job. I even wonder if one can get a vehicle that has manual roll down windows anymore…..

    Leads me to another thought……Im so freaking old I remember when there was no Armor All car products. We used window clean to wipe down the dash when we did the windows…Armor All may have existed ( a quick search shows it coming out in 1976 but I bet it didn’t get popular until the 80’s)

  41. I used Lemon Joy as a tire shine well Into the 80’s.

    I am told that the A-pillar quarter glass vent window was standard up until the 1966 Buick Riviera. The first US car to not have them. Brought to you by “Things you didn’t need to know”

  42. My older brother’s first vehicle was a Ford 150 pick up truck from, I’m guessing here, 1973 or 4. My dad’s HVAC company sold it to him in 1980 for $75. It was a fleet truck so it had a lot of dents on the bed and hood and a lot of miles on the engine but it ran for a long time. Got him through HS and college and a year of work before he bought a new car.

  43. In 2013, it broke 50 percent for the first time.

    My daughter works in the St. Louis city school district. EVERY kid, regardless their parents income, gets ‘free’ breakfast and lunch. WTF? People aren’t even expected to feed their own kids? And with so many in inner cities on food stamps, wtf are they spending them on? Way past time for EBT to be handled like WIC…..and f*ck the grocery lobby. F*ckers.

    Even back in Jimmah Carter’s fecklessness, free school lunches were a rarity.

  44. Don’t get me started on the whole EBT debacle.
    I Dated a chick with two beautiful kids for 4+ years that soon after we hooked up CHOSE not to work. Collected unemployment, and got $546 monthly in food stamps for her & 2 under 10 kids. She lived rent free at her Mom’s house, btw. She would spend about half on shit frozen food, then trade the rest to her brother for cocaine (so I eventually found out).
    That corrupt system needs to be sliced, diced, chopped and quartered.
    Drain the swamp, MFers.

  45. #1 son got free breakfast and lunches at school. Over 95% of the kids qualified, so they just provided it for everyone.

  46. I grew up poorer than 95% of y’all. I never got a free lunch.
    I either brown bagged it or paid the 65¢ for a prison food lunch.
    And breakfast? That’s what home is for, bitch!

  47. My kids school offers free breakfast for everyone. @@.

    When things got tough a few years back I asked pat if we should try to get free lunches /stuff like that (we were living on my income, the stores weren’t bringing anything in). He said HELL NO.


    I still havent figured out whut “bam ba lam” means….

  49. Ask your mom.

  50. Black Betty had a child, and apparently Betty wasn’t a very good mother figure / caretaker cause her child “went wild”….then again it might have been schizophrenia, so it might not be indicative of her parenting, or lack thereof…….

  51. Personal responsibility is all but dead. Inevitable result of collectivist thinking.

  52. Funny, they never mention Black Betty’s baby daddy

  53. The first rule of Tom Jones is, you never talk about Tom Jones.

  54. The free lunch for everyone thing is there to not shame the ones that need it.

    Yet Ames has a school lunch debt problem. Yea, kids are racking up lunch charges like credit card debt. I just don’t understand.

  55. I swear my old 70 Riv had a triangle window, I was a smoker. But can’t remember exactly. Dad’s 76 Ford 5 speed had one, though!

  56. I guess it didn’t, huh.

    That is the exact color of mine, too. Thing ran like a raped ape (455 with high octane gas, over 400 HP).

  57. One of my friends had a 4 door Chevy Caprice that was an absolute boat. No idea what year it was, early 70’s for sure. Thing had bench seats front and back and we could fit 7 of us in there comfortably. Kids don’t have access to great cars like that anymore.

  58. oh yeah, the old Chevys were great. Parts were cheap, too.

  59. We grew up standing on the front bench seat in the car. Our seatbelt was my mom’s arm. Every time she stopped she’d give you that safety karate chop to the stomach.

  60. Well, old cars are only better in some ways

    The results of this surprised me, too. The 59 has to weigh twice as much as the new Malibu.

  61. Over 95% of the kids qualified, so they just provided it for everyone.

    What percentage of them were legal citizens?

  62. Btw, the school where daughter is, is in the area we dared not enter when we were kids. It was one of those no-go out-of-control crime zones. Mostly black.
    Fast forward….lots of immigrants have moved in. It’s pretty mixed now. Neighborhoods around the schools are kept up. Crime is down.

    Though we still recommend she not move there.

  63. Finally getting a plumber out to the little house to change out the old drain cap and get a camera down the pipe to see where the kitchen sink drains out. If we have to bust up the basement floor to fix anything… price negotiation.

    Other than that, working with the bank and title company to get things lined up. Title companies are a racket. Between the two, it’s going to cost $4k or more to close. Wtf?

    Husband wasn’t happy with the $1200 price for the title company. They said he could shop around and they may match the price. He told them to make his life easier and come up with a better price. So he got a couple hundred knocked off.

    Maybe we should buy in a democrat city and say we’re messican. FREE CLOSING!!

  64. BTW, good poat Jimbro! The tank division made me giggle like a little Rosetta.

  65. My bud had a 1970 something 2 door monaco with some insane engine in it, Im pretty sure the car had lil triangle electric windows that lowered first when you hit the button and then the main window would lower…..I may be confusing it with another vehicle my buddies ran

  66. Learn Spanish, beasn, SELL IT!

  67. Thanks Beasn! I’ve seen that in a few places but still find it funny

  68. As a kid I was able to work part time as a dishwasher and busboy and still afford to buy a used car (76 Duster straight V6) and pay for insurance and registration fees. I lucked out buying it from a friend of my sister and it ran well. I changed my own oil and did basic maintenance because it was so easy to do on it. My older brother helped me change brake pads once. It’s next to impossible for kids to do that now unless they’re really into cars. When I drop off the older kid at HS there’s a whole row of trucks parked at the edge of the lot and I think they represent the gearheads who go mudding on the weekends.

  69. Learn Spanish, beasn, SELL IT!

    For realz.

    I watched one of those walk-away videos….NJ lady. Said she finally was able to buy her own home later in life and decided to live in the poorer side of town because taxes, etc. would be more affordable. Real estate agent told her it would be in her best interest if when she registered to vote, to register as a democrat because if she didn’t, count on her taxes and other things to go up, as well as general harassment. She’s like, ‘Wut?’ So she did. Also, too afraid to let her neighbors know her real political alliance.

    Though she did make the video. Surely someone in the neighborhood would see it.

  70. School lunch and breakfast programs are bullshit. Feed your effing kids.
    Whatever you subsidize you get more of.
    It’s bullshit!

    OHAI, everyone.

  71. Without welfare, where would Walmart get all of it’s part time employees?

  72. I had a Duster with a straight six….it was turd brown in color 2 dr ….I think it had a lite colored interior….you could get INSIDE the engine compartment and work on the engine there was so much space. Was the best 150 dollar car I ever had..



  75. Walmart loves them some unconditional EBT. F*ckers.

  76. MARE!!

  77. Head Of ICE Scolds House Dem: Don’t Call Us Anti-Immigrant For Enforcing Laws Passed By You.

    I set this to where he says his piece but I do recommend listening to her bitchy condescending self to get you in the proper place for his response.

    Also, I do believe she is a representative for Compton. Isn’t that the same place all those illegals ran the blacks out of?

  78. Anyone have a list of the Republicans who blocked the amendment to defund Planned Parenthhod?

    Fuck them. Yea, I said it, FUCK THEM!


  79. Comment by beasn on August 23, 2018 3:29 pm

    What percentage of them were legal citizens?

    Almost all of them. Really poor area, and a lot of kids from the Alamo Navajo Reservation attended. Not too many illegals here, in Socorro, where all the farms are, however…….

  80. Hi, Besasnnsnsnsnsnsns

  81. Okay, I am not believing any Fox news polls. Just saw one tweeted that more Americans prefer obamacare over the tax cuts.

  82. Lol, NM den candidate for governor “when I’m governor, we’ll be open for business”. No shit, she’ll be open for business like Hillary Clinton would be open for business. Pay to play.

  83. “Dem” candidate.


  85. Just finished the latest Dewey Andreas novel last night, they have gotten so far out of the realm of believability it’s more urban fantasy than action adventure.

    Tomorrows model will probably aggravate Xbrad’s carpal tunnel syndrome.

  86. Tomorrows model will probably aggravate Xbrad’s carpal tunnel syndrome.
    A redhead, Pupster?

    I am reading “Indian Territory” by Kurt Schlichter.

  87. SE Cupp is a total front-hole. And a whore.

  88. The influenza book was a slog. Too many tangents into the evolution of medicine in the US in the decades prior to 1918, too much inside baseball describing the scientists and their professional struggles. My kindle aid I was 67% done on the last page because of all the footnotes. Learned a lot but just happy to be done with it.

    I switched gears to a zombie book which is making me laugh a lot. The author could be a Moron with all the jokes he adds

    Part 1 was either free or 99 cents on kindle.

  89. I’ve been reading books on running. I’m truly a nerd.

  90. I know how to run.

    I choose not to.

  91. But I am not in a cult that forces me to do stuff.

    So what do I know.

  92. The last religious book I read, “The Case for Jesus” was 25% footnotes, according to my Kindle. It was not a slog, in fact, Brant Pitre makes a pretty good argument for the Gospels being written much earlier than the current “scholars” say.

  93. Mark Levin’s show gets played here in the evening. Flipped it on for a few seconds and he was asking the question, “How is it that Trump pays off his paramour with his own money and that is a crime, but congress can use our tax dollars to pay off their victims of sexual harassment/assaults, and that isn’t?”

  94. Using our tax dollars. Without our permission. Without exposing the pervs to let them perv on others.

  95. Dawn Examines Rocky Planetoids

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