Beaver Fever

Inspired by a general fondness for beaver, Jam’s recent Rodentia killing spree and Hotspur’s trip to the shores of Beaver Island, I’ve decided to devote today’s poat to the lovable furry critter called The Beaver.


You know who likes beaver? Canadians.

This heartwarming gif is a little grainy but I think it conveys the drama well


Trying to get a new trend started at the H2 is tough


Beavers are prolific dam builders. I’ve read stories where well meaning animal rights activists have gotten leg hold traps outlawed and suffered flooding in their backyards a few years later as the cute lil beavers have moved back in. Suddenly everyone wants a beaver hunt!


They make fantastic hats

Well, like a squirrel riding a Sybian, I gots to move on from this happy hunting ground to earn the wampum for the necessities of life. My Thursday gif is courtesy of the Gif-master.



  1. How’s your beaver?

  2. Two editorial headlines from the WSJ this morning

    The “Red Wave” Illusion

    The “Blue Wave” May Be Receding

    So, basically, no one knows what will happen. Got it. I didn’t read either one of them.

  3. wakey wakey


  5. (the video is too long – it’s a mini movie which is actually kinda cool)

    Now go have a tits day.


  7. I prefer nationalist beavers.

  8. Second one was more moose knuckle, chief.

  9. If you hit 7 people with a bike lock, on purpose, you will be punished. Unless you are a lefty.

  10. I have become somewhat of a connoisseur of beaver over the years. I have mostly stuck to American beaver, but I did make a little foray into Canadian beaver once. But as they say, what happens in college stays in college. We are talking about food, right?

  11. Rolling stone explains it all J’ames, in this romantic piece about the events:

    “”“Personally, I’ve always wondered whether nonviolence was a better means,” says one anti-fascist, a friend of Clanton’s who gave her name as Lou. But Sacramento, Lou explains, “cemented for me that these people are willing to use violent measures. They have no moral restraint in inflicting harm, whether through their ideology or their actions. And we need to do everything we can to stop them and silence them.” She adds: “These are punchable people, these are people who should be punched.””

  12. cemented for me that these people are willing to use violent measures. They have no moral restraint in inflicting harm, whether through their ideology or their actions

    She means pantifa, right?

    Leftists circulate lists of people “assaulted by Trump supporters” — almost entirely in self defense — but it’s lies like this that generate this sort of nonsense.

  13. Yea, they’re pretty crazy. Yes, these are antifa scum. They’re like that adage – everything looks like a nail when you’re a hammer. Antifa sees everyone to the right of Joe Biden as a nazi.

  14. Mostly I wanted to bring up how Rolling Stone portrays them. It is a puff piece. They are truth to power or some bullshit. They are revolutionaries saving us from … ? You know, the nazis.

  15. Yeah, because we are sending people to concentration camps, and murdering them.

  16. On a job site with Scott. I’m just here bc I miss Scott, this job is down by the shore again, so we can have a drive and a lunch together with lobster rolls.

    I just got off three days working til midnight. I’m sitting in the van doodling on my phone while Scott is doing his pickup and the lady client at the site walked by the van and gave me a pointy look. I think she thinks I’m a shitty lazy coworker, lol.

  17. Yeah, because we are sending people to concentration camps, and murdering them.

    This doesn’t make sense and never has. If the plan is just to kill them all, why put them in camps? Huge waste of time and resources.

  18. Ya kinda are!

  19. Logistics, leon. You have to do them in batches, for maximum efficiency.

  20. Cheaper to just leave them locked on the rail cars and ship the starved bodies to the landfill, then.

  21. You ever notice how many of the vocal open supporters / actors invariably have the title of “professor”? I’m flat out telling you that there is no chance of ever not having to deal with this evil bullshit unless you eliminate these people from the educational institutions.

  22. Mr. B. went to the PGA Championship today.

    And guess where my package is RIGHT NOW! Anyone care to guess? Go ahead, guess. “In your pants”, is not an answer, you whore mouths.

  23. Under Jay being farted on?

  24. The contents of my package are programmed to explode when they come in contact with methane.

  25. Seriously WTF DID I GO WRONG? My son used to be the sweetest little boy. He was a talker and so curious about everything. Now he’s a f*cking crabass whose snide remarks are too much like certain a-holes on my side of the family. (he’s pissy because I talked to him while The Price is Right is on)

  26. And he doesn’t talk much anymore. Total opposite of his dad in the socializing department since he’s become an adult.

  27. He needs NoFap.

  28. “, chief.”

    i raffed –
    don’t know what it is about calling ppl ace, slick, chief, etc…. but i find it teh funneh

  29. He went through his teen years, and you lost all of your intelligence, beasn. He now knows everything. You will slowly get back your smarts over a period of years, through no intervention of your own, or possibility of it. It is solely in his head.

    Most of us figure out our parents are pretty cool, after we are in our 20’s and grow up a bit.

  30. My parents aren’t cool. I mostly just realized how much they’d messed up their lives with bad decisions.

  31. I’m cool

    /speaks into the wind

  32. Car in, you’re not on your third marriage, or married to a woman who is the primary breadwinner, and who made your son sleep on the couch for two years while giving your daughter her own room.

  33. Not … yet. I’ve got time.

  34. You’re the perfect age to start trawling the frat houses.

  35. When I run the Crim, I’ll flash the boys at the frat handing out beer (arond mile 5). My kids will enjoy that.

  36. Trolling the frat houses.

  37. If your kids don’t feel like they’re going to die of embarrassment every day then you’re slacking off as a parent.

  38. I do that with my metal music. TURN IT DOWN, MOM.

  39. Whose horrible idea was it to rip out my wildflower garden and replace it with day lillies?


    It’s going to look gorgeous if I ever get it done.

  40. Most of us figure out our parents are pretty cool, after we are in our 20’s and grow up a bit.

    I don’t know.
    Plenty of legitimate reasons why I couldn’t wait to leave the city my parents were in. I kept my kids a healthy distance from the drama and when my brothers became bug-eyed batshit, cut those ties completely. Before the era of obama — most effort was made by me to get them to see my parents, their grandparents. It was a one-way street. With B.O., and the one straw too many, buh bye.

    I raised them quite differently than I was raised. There was no anger, no daily screaming match, cursing at each other was not allowed (no cursing around them at all when they were younger), no name-calling…..I read to them, hugged them, told them I loved them, talked to them about their day, taught them to be kind to those different than them, and to respect nature and all her critters.

    My fear has always been the age old nature/nurture thing. I did what I could to route the dark humours that lurk in my family tree. It scares me that it might not have been enough.

  41. So, are you saying you’re going to turn into a crotchety old woman beasn?

    It’s easily avoided. Just don’t.

    Next problem.

  42. Melania’s parents became citizens:

    Her given name is Melanija. I like that better. And how hard must life be for a car dealer in a communist country?

  43. HA! I’m already crotchety …but not mean bitchety. There’s a huge difference. I try not to be….like them. I piss the husband off on occasion but he will tell you I’m still one of the nicest and goofiest people he knows. Coming from him, that’s saying something.

    Don’t get me wrong, the boy is a good person. He doesn’t smoke, drink, curse, impregnate coked up hookers, steal from his family, or lie. He has a good job, no debt, associates with good people, and tries to come home to have me cook for him on Mother’s Day or my birthday. It’s just every now and again, I’ll see a small flash that reminds me….and triggers that fear. Not talking will not impress any potential mates. Though, that is what he needs. A busybody talker that will force him into engaging. Like what his aunt did to his uncle (Mr. B’s brother).

  44. I just talked to my mail lady who delivered some yarn. Told her about my other package stuck in Iowa. She said they have a lot of new people in the St. Louis distribution center and they don’t know what’s going on, they’ll just toss things in any old bin.

  45. Can’t always do anything about it. Sometimes the tendencies will just be there. Or sometimes something else plays a wild card (hello, my brain chemistry). Best you can do is teach and love and pray for the best.

  46. Yarn, huh. Right.

  47. Just be glad hes not a total asshole like me.

  48. Sad thing: I haven’t told the rest of my family yet. Mind you I never hear from them except holidays and crises. So the closeness really isn’t there at this stage.

  49. Pick your friends, since you can’t pick your family.

    Of course, hopefully mY kids won’t view me/each other like that. So far they are all really close. I wondered about Matt since he’s not around a lot, but I’ve heard Jordan make several comments referencing how he’s always talking about me/we’re so close.

  50. I dropped my swear jar

  51. Ocasio-Cortez was in a bar when the television news reported 2 Brazilian men had died. She burst into tears, “How many is a Brazilian?”

  52. Just be glad hes not a total asshole like me.

    Have you met yourself? You’re a big sweetheart.

  53. shhh, no one knows, beasn!

  54. Bro Cavil, my family isn’t close either – on my side.

  55. Okay, I’ll try to keep your secret, ‘asshole’. (feels so wrong typing that). I’d like beasnson to have a little more of your happy assholery.

  56. UPDATE!!

    Aug 9, 2018 00:00am
    In Transit to Next Facility

    …where it will land, nobody knows…

  57. he’ll come around, beasnsnsnsnssss. You’re just mom right now.

  58. J’ames is such an asshole. @@

  59. I speak with my parents most weekends, but that’s as much out of duty as anything.

    I basically had no friends during the time I was in California. No one my age was interested in the things that I was interested in.

  60. I am sad to learn that the closest HEMA group is about 50 miles away.

    No friends here yet, only family.

  61. USPPSA might make some friends there

  62. Potential mash-up for Car in and the next MMM?

  63. Madness

  64. Indeed. One of the reasons I refuse to call Bruce Jenner by his preferred name. Bruce can be as insane as he wants to be, but I refuse to play along.

  65. Well,
    You know that it’s prejudicial transphobic or racist or something if you don’t want to date them.
    I have no doubt that soon it will be illegal.

  66. Too bad you didn’t move near here, Alex. I’d go dancing with you. Not what you’d prefer but we could’ve told everyone that I’m your mom.

    Don’t tell anybody but back in grade school, they made us square dance every year in gym class and I secretly LOVED it. Especially when the big cute boy, who started shaving in the sixth grade, was in my square. He had a touch of the Rosetta in him. Big, cuddly, funny.

    Mr. Beasn has two left feet and does that white-man-face when he gets jiggy.

  67. But not the week in sixth grade, when Tina, the girl who started growing big boobs in the third grade, pointed out to me and everyone in our ‘square’ that I was getting mosquito bites. I was mortified.

  68. Better stop that talk beasn, or Car in will be triggered.

  69. Heh, would you consider these to fall under “business casual” at a really conservative workplace?

    Assorted Cotton Blend Dress Socks

  70. About skeeter bites? BAHAHAHA!

    I was telling my daughter about what some of the other female concert goers were wearing in the style of Hoochie and Co. and she said she could show up not wearing any top and noone would notice. LOL
    Thing is, she’s so slender and ‘lacking’ in the chestular region, she could dress like a hooker and make it look chic.

  71. Since most of those socks will be hidden under your pants legs, why not?

  72. Aug 9, 2018 15:19pm
    Departed USPS Regional Destination Facility

    Aug 9, 2018 15:05pm
    Arrived at USPS Regional Destination Facility

  73. Beasn, we’d just say you were my sugar momma. It wouldnt be ny first cougar hunt…

  74. Guns N Roses, Worcester Civic Center, 1992, some chick did the old boob flash on her BFs shoulders and the camera man gave her a lot of time on the Jumbotron.

    She’s probably a grandmother now a la that meme

  75. We did square dancing in my 6th grade class too. Sister Mary was from somewhere south of the Mason Dixon Line and thought it was a good way for pre-adolescents to safely mix and mingle. It got me out of doing schoolwork so I was all for it.

  76. we’d just say you were my sugar momma

    Sounds like a plan!

  77. It’s almost like Trump is good at reading people and figuring out where they’re weak…

  78. I’m getting these for my boss:

  79. Dayum. Speaking of cougars, I took the dog for a walk and ran into a huge mountain lion about 200 yards from the house. Pretty exciting.

  80. Pup’s socks kilt it.

  81. Apparently an exec at CrossFit got fired for approving when one of the affiliates decline to host a gay ‘pride’ event. Glassman has gone full SJW. Looks like Robb Wolf was right to cut ties with him all those years ago.

  82. CrossDress

  83. TuckFit.

  84. Car in is going to be competing with Carl in.

  85. CrossTuck

  86. Time to start a competing entity that Loves Science.

    CrackFat will crack that fat right off your body, and we won’t let dudes trounce chicks in pullup contests just because they’re mentally ill.

  87. Wow, Pepe, what happened? What did the big kittycat do? Is your dog okay?

  88. ” huge mountain lion ”
    is it in the tanning solution yet?

    i’d definitely tan that beast

  89. i’ll trade you 3 coyotes and a beaver for a cat

  90. leon – we need a twitter and facedump alternative too.

    these could be the money makers you were looking for a while back

  91. Social media is for suckers.

  92. Apparently Arizona has a huge mountain lion problem. I had friends in the Army who would go cougar hunting in Scottsdale.

  93. All I want is a gym with a 1/10 mile circular track, power racks in the middle, and maybe a pool for swimming laps.

  94. Critters need to fear people.

    Locally, bears have respect for humans. They are starting to break into cars and homes.

  95. is trying to compete with twatter, I know there’s a Facechimp competitor already but the name escapes me. What we really need is a YouTube killer, but nobody can compete with a company that can lose $1B every year and is leveraged by Goolag for even bigger surveillance.

  96. So stupid.

  97. Facechimp competitor is MeWe.

  98. Hello, zenophobes and shit.

  99. Zenofit could work.

  100. Dog was circling out in front of me about 50 yards. He stopped and stepped back. I thought he had seen the coyote pup that has been hanging around. He really bristled and took a few steps toward me, then spun and locked in on something. I got up there and saw a really big lion about 40 yards away. It turns trotted off. Of course, then the dog started after it. He came back in a couple of minutes and we went home. Big lion, though. I’ve seen a few, so I have a basis for comparison. Cut a big lion track a couple of weeks ago. This has to be the same one.

  101. 29th wedding anniversary today.

  102. The difference is in the result. Mi familia with Mountain Lion…kill bury and release tracking device in National Park. Dan and I were at White Sands. Tracking a mountain lion. Prints were huge. Fresh. Met a ranger with a dog. Tracking the cat. We did paw comparison and asked for money back as we left Park early.

  103. Congratulations Pepe and Penelope

  104. MeWe and gab are crap to navigate

  105. Xenofit.

  106. XenoMorph.

  107. “Social media is for suckers.”

    PT Barnum

  108. Congratulations Pepe!

    Comment by jam2 on August 9, 2018 9:34 pm
    i’ll trade you 3 coyotes and a beaver for a cat

    Disregard, Pepe. If you look close, you’ll see those are actually just 78 squirrel and chipmunk pelts, all stitched together.

  109. Lion season is year round now. Limit of 4 per year.

  110. Congratulations Pepe and Penelope!

  111. Thanks, Roamie. We’re just wondering where the time went.

  112. Happy Anniversary, Pepe!!

  113. Happy anniversary, Peps. In honor…

    Dance ebulliently, romantic polecat.

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