The weirdest stuff cracks me up. My sig-ot is used to my bizarreness and makes sure to steer me out of the way of unsuspecting people when we’re out and about and I’m feeling plucky.

Cubic Houses (Rotterdam, Netherlands) I recommend checking them out when you’re in the netherregion smoking dope with phat

I’ve seen this place a few times. I like the netherlands. The ppl are friendly, the beer is good, and hookers.

Here’s a song Jay wrote for your mom:

A building Hotspur designed when he was a little girl visiting grandma:

Longaberger Basket Company in Newark, Ohio

MJ’s halloween outfit:


pink fairy armadildo

-The H2-

Hostages caught in the act.


I forgot to wish the July crew a Happy BD…

I made this for youse’ll’s:


Jimbro, Sohos, B-Cock, Rich, EddieBear, TeaFran, PattyAnn


The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
go scratch the shit out of today



  1. “I need a haircut.”

  2. Ground over my septic leech field is damp even with no rain in days. Doesn’t look like sewage, and no drainage problems in the house, just water at the surface, so it’s probably a problem with the lateral lines.

    Still concerning, gotta see if I can get someone to come look at it.

  3. Probably related to having the silver maple next to it cut down a few months ago. Root pressure on it almost certainly shifted.

  4. my girlfriend Maxy Dub had her meds proportioned properly for this rant I see –

  5. and she had a fresh do

  6. transpiration

  7. That’s the longest she can remain coherent, that’s why the clip is only 44s.

  8. Maxine. The gift that keeps on giving.

  9. https://www.technologyreview.com/s/608580/eliminating-the-human/

    Human beings are social creatures. Normal people need human interaction. It’s why isolation is so damaging. Yet we have a society increasingly shaped by a small group of anti-socials who see human interaction as a problem to be eliminated.

  10. How can you keep voting for someone that divisive and ignorant? I know race is a powerful thing, but come on!

  11. Everyone today would rather text and type than have a conversation.

  12. Twitter is a MMOIS, a massively multiplayer online interaction simulator.

  13. *texts jay cryptic message at H4*

  14. JayInAmes: the problem is finding someone you want to have a conversation with in your area. I could sit and talk with some people for hours and hours, but barely any of them are close enough to do that.

  15. Septic guy says cap is probably leaking because the water can’t get out. I’m digging it up today to take a look and then he’s coming by tomorrow to see it.

    Maple is the likely culprit. Why are people so stupid about trees near houses?

  16. It should never have been planted there, or cut down when the house was built. Criminal stupidity.

  17. They planted an apple and a cherry tree 5′ from the foundation, too.

    I already cut down the cherry, I either have to aggressively prune the apple or cut it down too. Probably the latter unless I want apples in my gutter.

  18. Human beings are social creatures. Normal people need human interaction. It’s why isolation is so damaging. Yet we have a society increasingly shaped by a small group of anti-socials who see human interaction as a problem to be eliminated.

    excellent point.

    I hate talking on the phone – prefer texting, but I have no problem with actual social interaction.


  19. wakey wakey

  20. I understand about the talking to people close, believe me. Everyone in this office texts back and forth, rather than saying anything.

  21. Trees cause shade, and therefore lower energy bills, and make it possible to see outside.

  22. leon just likes to have a clear field of fire around his compound.

  23. Yesterday my back was wrecked for some reason. I could find no cause – because I really haven’t even lifted in the past week – and not since Wednesday. The only thing I did was mow the lawn with a push mower – a LOT of lawn. That’s the only thing I could think of (but it was around my back where my bicep tendon issue is -so maybe a weakness?) I could barely turn, and lifting things hurt.

    I rolled it out a LOT – and today it feels almost 100% better.


  24. ETP upped my calories. I have to eat 249 g of carbs today.

    (I can see Leon making a face)

    I’m down in weight, and my run yesterday was a good pace.

  25. probably just twisted wrong, or pushed when you should have pulled. I do that more and more often, now.

  26. Yea, I think it was the sustained pushing. Who knows. Stupid. I’m just glad because I thought I was going to have to go see someone.

  27. I like that rap up there 👆 in the poat. It’s the best rap I ever did heard.

    **exceptionally low bar

  28. Good to see you pop up once in a while, PG. How’s Texas, besides dry and hot?

  29. My back is sore more often than not. I think I’m gonna have someone look at it. I know it’s partially weight related, but not this bad.

  30. I get having trees for shade, but having a silver maple tree (known for catastrophic trunk splitting) <20' from a house is derptastic. Leaving it in place SIX FEET from a septic tank/drain field is like taking out a loan for $0 and owing $20k a couple of decades later.

  31. Oh we get it, leon. You hate trees.

  32. Do you have a foam roller? I mean, it’s not a cure, but it really does help work out the kinks and kinda realign things.

  33. /cries because Leon hates trees

  34. I understand about the talking to people close, believe me. Everyone in this office texts back and forth, rather than saying anything.

    People think I’m crazy because I’d rather walk down the hall twenty yards and talk to someone in person than email or call them.

  35. Lorax: “I am the Lorax, I speak for the-”
    Leon: “Get off my property.”

  36. Canadian BACON!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. planting trees next to foundations:

  38. 40-50′ from any structure where people live, that’s all I care about.

  39. Who runs The H2 twitter account?

  40. andy?

  41. wiser?

  42. Pupster?

  43. usually it’s Andy. Sean used to post on it too.

  44. Seems angry about the 3d gun issue, huh?

  45. J’Ames. Our high has been over 100 for so long I can’t remember the last time it wasn’t. I’ve been working outside more this summer than usual. I’d imagine I go through about 3-4 gallons of ice water daily and almost never have to drain the lizzard.

  46. Carried over from last night:

    Well, we found out where the dead squirrel carcass went – in the garden right by the front door. It was covered with oak leaf mulch, so we didn’t see it.

    We also found out who did the deed – our neighbor across the street saw Mr. TiFW Monday evening and told him how he had seen our Pyrenees in the front yard Sunday morning, going up and down the fence for 5-10 minutes, showing off the squirrel that she had caught 😊

    We told her “Good girl!”

  47. Nice hunting dog!

  48. After mowing my overgrown lawn I went inside, washed my hands and got a glass of water. As I was drinking I saw a big eagle flying about 50 feet up with a big fish in its talons. Good day for everyone but the fish.

  49. So, bees. My hive made it through the winter only to die out during the spring before it warmed up. Stupid beekeeper didn’t feed them in time. Anyway, it was too late to order new bees so I decided to take a year off. About 3 weeks ago when I was mowing I saw bees flying around the hive. I figured it was a neighboring hive cleaning out any remaining honey. They’re still there. I either greatly exaggerated the demise of my bees or a swarm made it their new home. I’ll need to apply some CPR to them if I want them to survive. No chance of getting honey from it this year since it’s a weak hive.

  50. I got some honey from your mom.

  51. Make sure they are bees. You don’t want to raise hornets.

  52. Shitter’s full. Either the drains are blocked or the tank is compromised, won’t know until he can come drain it.

  53. Oh poop.

  54. face matched comment above—–>

  55. Pretty much.

    BRB, getting a mason jar to pee in until tomorrow.

  56. Can’t you just wizz in the woods?

  57. It’s a 400′ walk outside to get to sufficient vegetation to hide the activity. My “woods” is a long, thin strip along the west edge of the property.

  58. Don’t you have trees?

  59. Har har. I’m just hoping it’s a drain/scrape/$300, not a drain/scrape/it’s-busted/$5000. Cash is getting thin after everything we’ve already had to do here.

  60. Did I mention I sold the Camry to pay for roofs and gutters? Yeah, that happened.

  61. I’ve got a dog head on my foot, but Erin needs to be picked up from school.

    I may be late.

  62. Do you have neighbors? We could wizz out the front door and no one would see.

  63. Nearest neighbors are across the street and no one actually lives there, they just visit it on the weekends, but the street is relatively busy.

    Jar for now, I’ll dump it on the compost heap later. Not doing dishes until we’re drained, having dinner out tonight.

  64. My folks had to redig their septic field. Overgrown with roots. They pumped it a couple times. Call that honey wagon, leon!

  65. Jeez, Leon, I hope things settle down and life gets nice and boring for you real soon.

  66. I used to be one of those antisocial tech-heads. (Not a rich one, sadly.) Now I’m paying the price of 35 years of social isolation.

    Social media is a trap and probably the worst idea in the history of ever.

  67. Honey wagon is summoned, should come tomorrow. I’m hoping it’s just roots and grease and we can “tidy” it rather than replacing it.

  68. start using those enzymes. They really work.

  69. Did Rid-X twice since we moved in, tonight was supposed to be dose #3. We’re well past that.

  70. I think they only work to keep it clean, not work when it’s already clogged.

  71. The word “clogged” is gross.

    It’s a useful word but gross.

  72. The shitter is clogged.

  73. Your mom is about to be clogged.

  74. Stuffed?

  75. How about congested?

  76. Plugged.

  77. Shitter’s Full!

  78. I used to be one of those antisocial tech-heads. (Not a rich one, sadly.) Now I’m paying the price of 35 years of social isolation.

    I’m trying to avoid being anti-social, but crap like last night makes it difficult.

  79. I think they only work to keep it clean, not work when it’s already clogged.

    Right, I’m thinking either the previous residents neglected it, or the roots grew around it and clogged the drains sometime after last July when the property was listed.

  80. Or the previous owners had it cleaned and scraped right before they put it on the market.

  81. Teresa, they moved out, how would it get clogged or in need of enzymes in the absence of new “inputs”?

  82. I’m trying to avoid being anti-social, but crap like last night makes it difficult.

    Work through it. I wish I had. It gets harder to unlearn the longer you do it.

  83. Oh, I am.

  84. “input” really means “output” in this context, correct?


  85. T might be right: if it’s root infiltration they’ll grow back tout suite

  86. Plausible, I suppose, but not killing the tree if that were the case is — once again — equivalent to criminal negligence, to my mind.

  87. i just heard from a customer that needs 72 mass flow controllers decontaminated, certified, and ready to ship by tomorrow –
    the friggen paperwork will take two days…..

  88. oi

  89. the enzymes are supposed to keep roots from growing inside. That is if it’s clear already.

  90. Always remember one of my favorite sayings, jamster:

    A lack of planning on your part doesn’t mean it’s an emergency on my part.

  91. What the heck do I know? We are on a public sewer system – I don’t know the first thing about septic systems….

  92. i used to work with a guy that would say –
    “hit ‘er in the shitter”

    it still makes me raff.
    he was one rude bastard

  93. We’re on town water and sewer at home. Camp has a septic system. Our system shit the bed a few years ago when the pump that pumps the liquid to the leach field quit pumping. Before too long the toilet wouldn’t flush the brown stuff down. We got it pumped out and had a plumbing company fix the pump. The guy who pumped it out recommended getting it pumped out every few years. We paid for risers over the access cover to make it easier to locate. Fast forward to last week when the guy came out and said the access cover was buried. We called the plumbing company back and they checked the work order and swore on a stack of bibles they put it in as ordered. They’re coming tomorrow to pump it out and locate the missing riser. Hopefully. They’ll be dealing with Paula who is pissed that the riser wasn’t easily located. I vaguely remember two risers going in but that was 3 years ago…

  94. Only got half the things on my To Do list done. Not feelin’ it. Beer me.

  95. Sludge Blog.

  96. Ugh. Slept four hours last night. Wasn’t up and down, just up and…couldn’t sleep. Been a fun day.

  97. *hushed announcer voice

    “We’ll return to Sewer Talk after a few brief messages from our sponsors”……

    PS. Points if you know the Roto Rooter song off the top of yer head..

  98. Poop blogging. Good times.

  99. Well, shit fire. There was supposed to be brackets with the words (spins Roto Rooter Ad) at the end of that last one….

  100. and away go troubles, down the drain!

  101. Eyes on different drugs

  102. 15 & 16 sleep with the fishes tonight.

  103. It’s been kind of a shitty day.

  104. Jay, do you carry your wallet in a back pocket?

  105. https://is.gd/_Looking_good_Mare

  106. Your eyes on my thighs.

  107. Daddy issues need tissues.

  108. I’ve been around this crap town.

  109. Shifting the discussion from Mare’s thighs and poop stuff to haying

  110. I’m gonna estimate at least a dozen curse words and phrases from Paula with regard to haying today. She isn’t even home yet. Due to circumstances she ended up bringing the dogs with her and left them in her parents house. Rowan left a steamer on their living room floor.

  111. Ugh, was lying on my bed reading this shithole blog and I fell asleep for three hours. Now I have a headache.

  112. Aaaand we’re back to the shit talk

  113. Just closed my tab for MMM on a comment where Oso was talking about boob sweat

  114. I hate talking on the phone – prefer texting, but I have no problem with actual social interaction.



  115. Got written up by safety for having my P-51 model hanging from the ceiling. It’s been there since 1997.

  116. The day was balanced out by going through retired co-worker’s files and finding “Double Your Dating” by David DeAngelo. This explains a lot.

  117. Retired co-worker was supposed to pack up his stuff after he gave notice he was retiring. Apparently he said, “fuck it”. Awards, diplomas, thesis, dissertation, personal files, pictures of his kids, 36 years of stuff, all there. He came back after his retirement party for a couple of hours but went around the building talking to everyone instead of going through his shit.

  118. Would it be weird to have a framed print of a portrait of Vlad Tepes hanging on my office wall?

  119. It would be weird no to.

    I mean, people might think you’re one of those Ann Arbor hippies or something.

  120. My cell phone area code is still for there. It’s embarassing.

  121. Space Station conference was held last week in San Francisco. Another co-worker went, said the homeless situation is really, really bad. They camp and shoot up on the sidewalks, aggressively panhandle, shout profanities at people, and wander into traffic.

  122. Roamie, unless your P-51 model weighs 50lbs. tell them to eat a bag of dicks. Fucking checklist making, existence justifying, cock knocking police.

    A life – get one.

  123. They also shit wherever they get the urge. Step lightly.

  124. https://is.gd/OVdylB

  125. Yeah, Roamie, we read an article about how bad it was there. Asked friends who live there if it was really that bad, and they said yep, horrible now.

    Hope you’re feeling better.

  126. Back to poop.

  127. I bet Jay is sitting on a wallet.

    That will really screw up your back.

  128. scott, no, I do not carry a wallet in my back pocket. You inspired me years ago.

  129. Fucking checklist making, existence justifying, cock knocking police.

    Exactly. They were going to find something, I thought the clutter was sufficient.

    Roamy ♥ Hotspur.

  130. Thank you, Pepe, I am doing much better.

  131. We had to run a bunch of errands today having to do with selling the rental to the renters. It took us close to a ‘Chic fil a’! We had our first peach “Hate Shake” and “Hate Chicken” sandwiches. I thought they were pretty damn tasty…

  132. My gay boss is on a jihad against Chik Fil A, because of their persecution of gays.

  133. Jay,
    Well yeah, except that they don’t discriminate in hiring or serving customers. Other than that, though, haters…

  134. My gay neighbor loves working at Chik Fil A and loves H8 chicken sammiches.

  135. I know that, but try getting that across to a hostile audience. Just one guy’s view on marriage, and he donated to groups in pursuit of said view.

    Yeah, horrible.

  136. Saw my BIL this past Sunday on our walk in a historic city down by the river. He looked like hell because of zero sleep the night before. Went to bed okay and woke up two hours later with pain zinging in his back around his shoulder blade to the front. How in heck do you pull a muscle while you’re sleeping you may ask? Heating pad ’til morning.

    Not any better today so got in to see the doctor………..who told him, ‘You didn’t pull anything. You have pneumonia.’


    Other than the pain, he doesn’t feel sick. He was told to stay home until next Tuesday.

  137. Lots of gays are teh drama queens.

  138. too much oral fecal…
    it ups their drama game

  139. So leave it on the table if ya’ hot & bothered
    (And) Tell me if you mean it baby, who’s the father
    Stories of a derp you divide and conquer
    You really showing me the meaning of a losing offer

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