Weekend Sloth

 

99 Comments

  1. https://is.gd/WadoZ7

  2. Not the first time he’s arranged to have something long and black between her legs.

  3. Five quarts of garlic dill sours doing their thing right now. Gave a sixth to mom yesterday.

    full on PICKLEPALOOZAAAAA

  4. Laura is a pickling fool.

  5. That was one of Zappa’s better hits

  6. I’m going to rearrange the patio and deck areas today, maybe cook somethings with fire.

    We used to make what my dad called “bread and butter pickles” they were sweet tasking and yellow and orange. Not sure what the difference is but I could eat those, a green dill pickle whole or sliced makes me want to barf.

  7. https://is.gd/QlpmBt

  8. The difference is that bread and butter pickles are made with a different spice mix, plus a ton of sugar.

  9. Well there ya go.

    I found Oso’s next screen saver.

    https://is.gd/hGwqb6

  10. My sour garlic-dills are natural pickles, not made with vinegar. They are crunchy and good.

  11. “Picklin’ Fool” was originally a single released in 1934 by blues guitarist Rupert “Blind Pickle” Jones. Jones would go on to have a string of hits including “Mama Don’t Want My Gherkin No More”, “Bread and Butter Blues”, and the scandalous “Dilly-dally”.

  12. That lady Oceania Cortez is a gift…..
    .
    .
    ….What’s the prayer?

    “Please Lord, make my enemies ridiculous”

    Done. Thanks!..
    Honestly, if there were such a thing as a right-wing TV show, and you put a character exactly like her on it, even your target audience would say she’s an unrealistic caricature.

    Not so sure about that.

    I think it was Campus Reform that did a man-on-the-street thing in NYC about Cortez. To a one, they lurve her. When asked how will they pay for all the goodies, the response? “Honey, I’ll let them worry about it.” And socialists are okay because they care about people.

    We’re f*cked.

  13. https://is.gd/lJwEE9

  14. https://is.gd/CAx157

  15. They are crunchy and good.

    https://is.gd/poD2pT

  16. If I weren’t allergic, I’d have a maine coon.

  17. They are assholes, beansesses. That “don’t fuck with me” look is universal and they mean it, a Maine Coon is what tore up the neighbor boy’s face and my hand last year.

  18. I found Scott’s new avatar:

  19. 9, 10, 11

  20. 12

  21. Are you leaving the corpses dangling from the tree branches? That is how they know you are serious.

    https://is.gd/HD6myC

  22. I need to kill one too. Jackass is eating out tomatoes.

  23. https://is.gd/s0j8x4

  24. https://is.gd/YBMsF2

    You have to click “song” which is lame.

  25. ya, i’m probably gonna have to up my game re:serious.
    I actually took a detailed look at my apple trees today. There are zero good apples left. i’ve got about 2 dozen culls, most of which won’t make it to the fall. Went from bumper to bummer… I’ll have to continue an aggressive anti-tree rodent jihad.

  26. Could you put skirts on the trunks?

  27. Your mom has a skirt covering her trunks.

  28. Put a thick layer of grease on the trunk. That’ll show ‘me!

  29. Is Mare back in prison?

  30. they’re dwarfs on a fence line.
    no real way to keep them squirrel free.
    maybe i could get jay and leon to write some code that controls a Gatling gun…

  31. band name

  32. grease on the trunk

  33. prison horse

  34. lots of band names

  35. time to water the flowers

  36. Tomorrow is banjo clock day. I’ve got 7 of them to pack.

    CLOCK!

  37. I can no longer go to a sporting eveng unless I have a private table behind home base with a waitress.

  38. I am no longer allowed at the private tables behind home PLATE with a waitress.

    (They got tired of my pedantry.)

  39. Home base?

    That’s where the lesbos hang out.

  40. That’s homo base.

  41. Home. So pissed at my dad I can barely see straight. He wanted me to lie to Mr. RFH, tell him I was sick so he would come pick me up. No thank you, I will drive myself home. Why would I want to lie about being sick, and why would I want Mr. RFH to drive for hours when he has enough other shit to handle.

  42. And I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to meet up with either the Houston crew or BroCavil this time, but it was a whirlwind trip with Mini-me. I was able to integrate only one of the experiments, and I’m hoping to return soon with more time to spare one evening. And there will be another visit to lower Alabama this year, I’m sure, even if my dad drives me crazy.

  43. Looking at your derp a third time
    Waiting in the station for the bus
    Going to a place that’s far
    So far away and if that’s not enough
    Going where nobody says hello
    They don’t talk to anybody they don’t know

  44. Wazzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuppooooooopppppppppppppp????!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!?!??!!??!!??!!!

  45. Woke up in pain, hoping the Tylenol kicks in soon.

  46. Aaaaand Advil time. So much for fasting this morning.

  47. Yesterday Hotspur’s daughter e-mailed him again, asking why he didn’t do something useful with his time.

    “Like commenting at H2 and drinking wine is not a good thing?” he asked. Talking about dear old dad’s “doing-something-useful” seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.

    She was “only thinking of me,” she said, and suggested that Hotspur go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellows. So he did this and when he got home last night, he decided to play a prank on her. Hotspur e-mailed his daughter and told her that he had joined a Parachute Club. She replied, “Are you nuts? You are over 60 and now you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?”

    Hotspur told her that he even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. She immediately telephoned and yelled, “Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”

    “Oh man, I’m in trouble again,” he said. “I really don’t know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!”
    The line went dead.

  48. ha!

  49. i hope you feel better roamy

  50. this morning broke awesome –
    absolutely gorgeous –
    clear skies and a full moon.

    pupster & lauraw are the luckiest men on earth

  51. and i’m a runner up

  52. 13, 14

  53. Gah, my back hurts this morning.

  54. So much for fasting this morning.

    https://is.gd/6kRvDA

    Feel better Roamie.

  55. https://tinyurl.com/y9l2gzzv

  56. https://tinyurl.com/y8u5cyed

  57. at grandma’s visiting the turkeys

  58. Boy2’s birthday today, 20 years old. I already got Boy1 to work this morning, will take 2 out for lunch at his favorite restaurant.

    TGI Fridays.

    https://is.gd/SMNajk

  59. Hey folks. Draggin ass this morning, but I gotta pick my garden before work.

    Romacita please take care of yourself and feel better.

  60. https://is.gd/POWUKb

  61. Enjoying the last day of vacation on the porch reading this and that, listening to the classic rock station (“Rocket maaaaaannn….Burning out his fuse up there aloonnnnne….”). Life is good and I rank somewhere in the Top 10 on The Luckiest Man Alive list.

  62. Mr. TiFW let one of the dogs in upstairs this morning, and “somebody” had left a little furry-tailed “gift” for us on the doorstep.

    So now there is one less varmint in the peach tree – yay!

  63. The new Mission:Impossible movie is a lot of suspend-your-disbelief fun. We both enjoyed it a lot!

  64. A little something for Leon.

    https://tinyurl.com/ya79kzb8

  65. This looks sort of interesting but ain’t no way I’m scrolling through this on my phone

    https://joshworth.com/dev/pixelspace/pixelspace_solarsystem.html

  66. Re: the Mission Impossible movies – the first was the worst. I’ve found they got better. I’m not sure how many – I think 3? – but the last two were rather enjoyable. I think they weren’t sure of the tone they wanted to go with on the first one.

  67. twitter.com/RobertWuhl/status/1023409462223093761

  68. Advil kicked in, and I took a two-hour nap. Feeling much better, thank you.

  69. Pups that “horse” going nuts on the protein drink made me lol in my pants!

  70. Mmmm.
    Cream cheese, bacon and fresh tomato rolled up in a tortilla is a nice summer snack. I just wish I had an avocado to top it off.

  71. Your mom banjos my clock.

  72. Everyone is off strumming their banjos

  73. Since when did Canada get an Open? Equalizer 2 is an ok revenge movie. 1 was better. No way in hell will I watch The Meg.

  74. I was wearing a Chihuahua tee today. A fucking Chihuahua was barking at me. I didn’t know Texas Jew had a new Twitter. Went to EP for baseball and didn’t meet up.

  75. Eden Prairie?

  76. El Paso. Great ballpark.

  77. Extra Pizza

  78. I know 2020 is still a long way away, but I have decided that there is one simple thing any candidate can do to garner my vote: Propose a one year moratorium on those goddamn Snapchat filters.

  79. A second cousin’s remains may be one of the 55 MIA returned from North Korea.

  80. Propose a one year moratorium on those goddamn Snapchat filters.

    **standing ovation**

  81. I found an interesting app the other day called nextdoor.

    It’s a blog / craigslist for your neighborhood.

  82. I heard about that too, Scottw.

    Leave me alone.

    Go away.

    If you wave I’ll wave back and that will be the end of it.

    – summary of Pupster nextdoor entries

  83. Congrats, Car in. It’s not a major award, but it’s still pretty neat.

  84. A second cousin’s remains may be one of the 55 MIA returned from North Korea.

    I hope it turns out that he’s among those returned. But even if he’s not, some American family will get closure, and we can all be grateful for that.

  85. Ha ha ha … Yea, it’s not. I need one though, and had been too lazy to just actually go get one. SO it’s kinda cool.

  86. I call NextDoor the HalpMyCatGotOutAgain app.
    It’s 75% HalpMyCatGotOutAgain, 23% selling junk nobody bought at the yard sale and 2% decent, relevant neighborhood info.

  87. Leave me alone.

    Go away.

    If you wave I’ll wave back and that will be the end of it.

    – summary of Pupster nextdoor entries

    WOOF!

    WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

    WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

    -Summary of Nessie’s nextdoor entries

  88. I’m glad that this dude may be able to finally get a job, but can we talk about the string of bad decisions he made to get to this point?

  89. Well, my street has been closed for almost a year and I couldn’t find any information as to when it might open.

    Got all kinds of good info from Nextdoor.

  90. I also know what cats to look for.

  91. https://imgur.com/gallery/5G3dbfS

  92. https://imgur.com/gallery/uTtu7F1

  93. Listen to the rhythm of the derp falling
    Say you’re gonna change your foolish ways
    Make a promise, break a promise in the same day
    It goes the same way, anyway
    So you pray for silence and its sadness and its violence
    To be washed away
    One day

  94. Dragging ass this AM. 20 minutes to MMM.


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