Clean Sheet Night!

Clean sheet night, one of the small pleasures in life.

Mrs. jam2 recently splurged on new sheets. She went on about thread count an shstuff I  usually don’t pay much attention to, but I must say they are comfortable.

Mare got this tip from Carin, who got it from MJ, who got from where ev :

While her folding tip may need some work, her diet tip is legit.

Sean has been kickin ass recently with some of his derp selections. To honor that, Tom Swifty wrote this song for him.

This is different:

Job possibility for Colex –

Beauty Contestant:


Seriously slow speed pursuit ends in fatality.

Ahhite – back to our regularly scheduled plotting.





  1. Sheets and shower heads are two areas where I’m willing to live beyond my means.

  2. good call Pendeejoe –
    i forgot about the new shower head.
    Nirvana!! bishes


  4. why is tom steyer rich? so sick of his impeachment ads

  5. I’ve got scars under both eyebrows, so mine barely exist. Plus they get burned off occasionally when I’m out cleansing and purifying burning brush piles. It’s only a big deal if you’ve got just one bushy one.

  6. Love Pinky and the Brain.

  7. Today is the runoff primary. I’m looking forward to fewer ads and robocalls after today.

  8. The murders of a 13-year-old girl and her grandmother by the Sineloa drug cartel, reported in yesterday’s AoS Morning Report, happened about 4 miles from my house.

  9. Why do you have scars, leon? Did you get implants?

  10. It’s impossible for me to understand why anyone besides a rodeo clown would choose to have eyebrows like the woman (?) pictured above.

  11. Holy crap, Roamy.

    Contrary to what that poor dementia patient, Pelosi says- they are ANIMALS!

  12. We’re getting ads about Kavanaugh, asking people to let Susan Collins know that this evil man is gonna put us all back in chains or infringe on women’s “health”.

  13. I dunno. I think we should allow anyone to come to the US or any reason. These fine people should be accommodated in the finest neighborhoods at taxpayer expense.

    I’m thinking Manhattan, DC, the nicest neighborhoods in Chicago, etc.

  14. Oh, Steyer is a hedge fund manager. The person that his party is running against every single election.

    Why doesn’t irony hurt?

  15. Or we could simply start a campaign to sign up volunteers to house, feed, and care for undocumented immigrants for one year.

    Any volunteers? No? Huh.

    It’s all fake. Just like the wind turbines on Martha’s Vineyard or school bussing at the best schools.

    Once it becomes real…not so much.

  16. As Dennis Miller said, come on in! Just sign the guest book on the way in, please!

  17. Why do you have scars, leon? Did you get implants?

    Fight club.

  18. wakey wakey

  19. What’s he like today?
    Comment by Jay in Ames on July 16, 2018 3:45 pm

    Matt is shorter than me, MJ.

    About 5 4, 22, and just bought his first house. So, he’s crushing it.

  20. I guess I needed to be at SecState half an hour before it opened to get in line. I was here at opening and ended up 22nd in line. All because I can’t change my address online.

  21. He was sent to a specialist as a baby because he was so small – at 1 year he was 13 pounds. They watched him (every month) for about a year, and he had a growth curve. The doc was very conservative and said since he had a curve, HE wouldn’t recommend GH and since that shit scared me I passed.

  22. Leon, my sec state has a deal where you can get in line online.

  23. Jeebus, roamy! Didn’t know things were that bad up in Huntsville before this business…and I was thinking of job hunting up there once I had my particulars together, too…

  24. Wow, Carin. Rocketboy was 13 lbs. at 3 months. My middle brother’s kids are small, and they, too, turned down GH because of the side effects. Good things come in small packages (though that’s not what your mom says).

  25. BroCavil, it’s the meth problem in the smaller towns around HSV. The blatantly illegal immigrant communities around the chicken plants in Albertville and Boaz aren’t helping, either.

  26. Imagine a 13 pound toddler, walking and talking (he was pretty verbal.). He was “regular” advanced – but because of his size, people thought he was super advanced.

    He was my most advance kid, of course.

  27. Well, lil MJ is 17 pounds at 9 months so I guess we’re ok.

    I’m not sure if he has my level or idiocy yet though. He is awfully bold and tends to lead with his giant head.

  28. How’s he doing at crossfit, MJ? Get that pullup bar installed yet? Giant tire in the playroom?

  29. He can do about 30 burpees but his kip ups suck. I’ve been beating him and scolding him in Russian so that he knows I care.

  30. tough love.
    it’s the only way to make him better

  31. I’m seriously confused by the treason/Russian puppet theory.

    How is this serious analysis? I stopped listening to almost anything related to politics lately and when I pop in to see what’s up it seems like a total shit show. These are thinly veiled calls for assassination or a coup. But where exactly did Danton end up? With his head in a basket. Jeez.

    If you step back a bit you realize that 99% of info on cable is just garbage. It’s dumb people that are never right about anything telling the world that everyone else is wrong. Haven’t they considered that they might be wrong?

  32. Possum got the double-take at one of her appointments where we talked about her walking because the doc forgot how old she was. She was walking at 13 months and about 19#, iirc.

  33. Trump should have apparently decked Putin right there during the presser. Since he didn’t, he’s Putin’s bitch.

    I don’t see why you’re confused, MJ. Maybe you’re not getting enough sleep or something with the baby?

  34. Every one of my kids walked at 10 months. They say it’s pretty much just genetic.

  35. I haven’t exactly tuned out of following political news but I’ve definitely expended less effort trying to understand it. It’s just not worth the effort with all the obfuscation and shifting outrage. It is amusing to see the professional political class walking around with atomic wedgies courtesy of Trump.

  36. Think of the chain of events that you have to believe to get to the point that Trump became a Russian spy.

    The dumb is strong in that line of thinking.

  37. I’m with you Jimbro. My thoughts tend to be, ‘who is pissed? Is Chuck Todd upset?’

    If so I’m happy with things.

  38. If you step back a bit you realize that 99% of info on cable is just garbage. It’s dumb people that are never right about anything telling the world that everyone else is wrong. Haven’t they considered that they might be wrong?

    If you cease thinking of it as information, it all becomes clear.

  39. Every one of my kids walked at 10 months. They say it’s pretty much just genetic.

    My niece didn’t walk until 18 months, so that was my low watermark. I think I walked at 11 months, no idea about the Mrs.

  40. If you cease thinking of it as information, it all becomes clear.


  41. YES

  42. It’s not serious analysis. It’s a large, irrational group whipping itself up into a frenzy so it can do something massively ill-advised and catastrophically damaging to themselves and those around them.

  43. Saw the comments made by McCain, Kerry, Schumer. Stars of the shitshow, ‘My Three Twats’.

    I’m not getting the outrage either…which started before he even went to meet Putin. I’ve seen clips and transcripts of the presser and am not seeing anything wrong with what was said. After what our own intel community has done in their effort to get hillary elected and what they continue to do to Trump, all of them can GFT.

    I hope Trump points that out when he is made to ‘clarify’ his remarks.

  44. They had the outrage ready in anticipation. It was going to be set at 11 no matter what was said. It’s obvious.

  45. Trump isn’t Their Man. He’s not down with Their Agenda. He’s the biggest threat to them in living memory. Therefore, they gotta take him down…or set everything ablaze trying.

  46. Especially McCain can GFH as he was colluding with a British spy in passing fake yellow showers dossier to the a-holes in the FBI.

  47. I simply do not believe that McCain is alive. And what kind of asshole doesn’t quit their job while they expire over the course of a year?

    Dude. Let it go.

    We get it. You’re a maverick. Now go gentle into that good night.

  48. MJ, McCain sticks around because he’s a tool of the left. He says things they agree with, then when we criticize him we get SMACKED for being mean to the sick, war hero.

  49. He’s dead. He’s officially a democrat now.

  50. All my tomato plants are now nicely tied up, and the garden it is weeded. Now it’s time for water drinking, and planning my meals for the day. Erin has ortho in a bit, and despite the fact that she and HeySUS are spending 24/7 time together, he apparently isn’t going to take her to that.


    Matt’s buying a house (I mentioned that earlier in reference to something else). I’m not 100% excited.

  51. Shitty house?

  52. No. It’s fine. I don’t know why the rush – it’s not the best market.

  53. The more successful Trump is, the bigger the threat to the status quo, and the more desperate they become.

  54. It was definitely a seller’s market over there when I sold, but buyer’s here. No idea about your region.

  55. Yeah, the market’s not great. Yet.

    Here’s hoping I can get my job/income situation in order so I can take advantage of the coming buyer’s market.

  56. …oh who am I fooling. I’m barely keeping an apartment going. I should hold off a while on a house regardless until I get my psych house in order.

  57. He isn’t a war hero.

    He’s a fucking shitstain.

    How many planes did he crash? How many sailors died on the Forrestal? How much damage was done to it? How much cooperation did he give to the enemy while he was imprisoned? How many of his comrades did he sell out?

    He can’t die fast enough.

  58. Really more of a war participant.

  59. That’s not how they tell the story.

  60. So, fake news then.

  61. Why is he determined to buy a house now? A girl?

  62. First you get the house, then you get the hot tub, then you get the girl.

    At least that was my plan.

  63. Good things come in small packages (though that’s not what your mom says).


    Also, If you think Trump is colluding with Russia you’re an effing idiot. Look at his actions. Bombings, killing Russian mercenaries, mucking up Russia in Syria, trying to get Germany to buy less oil from Russia, the list is pretty long.

    Russian collusion story belief = you’re a gigantic political tool with zero ability to think logically

  64. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on July 17, 2018 12:44 pm
    Why is he determined to buy a house now?

    Depending on the area, it’s a good investment, a sign of maturity and a means of focusing time, money and effort into something you can be proud of. Oh, and a place to live that isn’t someone else’s.

  65. I am highly interested in Hotspur’s newsletter on John McCain.

  66. Hotspur knows things

  67. Whoever gave an econ degree to Socialist Latina Barbie should be disgraced and apologetic after her interviews.

  68. Im seeing reports she was a double major Economics AND International Relations………figure that shit out….

    And if he doesnt have a girl, he will shortly after buying a home and word gets out.

    “Oh you have your own nest?” *every girl looking to get away from mommy and daddies house……

  69. Miss Crabtree: Buckwheat, spell dictate.

    Buckwheat: Dictate D-I-C-T-A-T-E dictate.

    Miss Crabtree: Very good, Buckwheat. Now use dictate in a sentence.

    Buckwheat: Hey Darla, how do my dictate?

  70. Owning a home as a young man attracts gold diggers and wife material. The trick is telling them apart.

    Pro-tip: if she wants to touch Mr. Happy on date one, she’s likely not the latter.

  71. What about date two?

  72. Probably still too soon.

  73. hello hotsausages… I’m drinking rum today. Where do I leave my pants?

  74. On. You leave them on. No one wants to see that shit.

  75. I have to be at Crossfit at 5, the pants are coming off regardless.

  76. Looks like someone has DDoSed Drudge.

  77. And Breitbart.

  78. GUY!!! Wait, is that really Guy? You douche! Where have you been? Besides Rummy and naked?

  79. Howdy, stranger! How are things in your neck of the woods?

  80. He already has a girl, and I’m pretty sure it’s a combination of wanting equity and girl wanting “their house.” That’s the part I’m unhappy about.

  81. Hi ladies – been through a rough patch of late. Divorce, cancer, more cancer… but, got a clean slate on all 3 now. Just wanted to check in and say howdy to all.

  82. Dude!!! Well, I’m glad here here to kick it with us a bit!!


    Short your stock.

  84. Well, even if you can’t hang out, you’ll always have our prayers, Guy!

  85. thank you, Mare. Hope all is well your way.

  86. Hey Car, as I was saying…. I’m single now.

    *licks eyebrows*

  87. haha, they are really getting desperate.

    Yes Please!

  88. gland – good to see you’re still alive
    welcome home

  89. well well well, look what the cat dragged in.

    good to see ya, Guy!

  90. Good to see you’re getting the better of stuff, Guy!

  91. haha, they are really getting desperate.

    Jay, that’s a 4chan meme, along the lines of BLM ads against Planned Parenthood. I love it.

  92. Ha! JayAmes, that has to be a false-flag or troll stunt, it’s just too perfect!

  93. Jay in Ames, how is ya my brotha?

  94. Thank you Brother Cavil.

  95. I see a bunch of good ones on 8ch, but I don’t want to get Jay on “the list” again.

  96. Welcome back, GLand. Congrats on the cancer, and maybe congrats on the divorce.

  97. “Lick eyebrows”…..yeah, but can you breathe through yer ears?

  98. Do I recall the GLand persona from back in the bad ole days of the anti idiotarian rottweiler site? Or am I mistaken?

  99. Any other former “rotties” here?

  100. That’s where I got my start in the Dextrosphere before migrating to the HQ. It was brief, mostly reading, and under a different nic though.

  101. Hey GLand. Welcome back from the brink, what Hotspur said.

  102. I went to the botanical gardens today. They were underwhelming. Not really worth $18 admission, although a one-year membership for $50 might be worth it.

  103. The Rott was a trip, had some spectacular flame wars over there. Of course we’re talking back in 07, 08, and 09…..seems like a long long time ago…there were a lot of good people there.

  104. Last I checked, the Emperor was still goin’ over there. I should check the joint when I get home (might be a touch much for work).

  105. G-LAND!!! Good to see you. You should come around more often.

  106. OK, the Sirius/XM jazz channel I’m listening to just played a jazz version of the Flintstones theme.

    I’m not quite sure what to make of that.

  107. The Matthei Gardens in Ann Arbor are free but accept donations. I paid my tuition and fees, so I walked in with no guilt and no $$.

  108. Howdy, GM.

  109. good job scaring Guy off so quickly.

  110. Guy, so sorry to hear about the divorce and the cancers. Glad to hear that you kicked cancer’s butt! Hope the divorce wasn’t a knockdown drag out fight 😈

  111. Welcome home, Guy. 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

  112. CoAl, can you put your $18 towards the annual fee?

  113. Car in, just let Matt know that if the girl breaks up with him that she still may be able to claim squatter’s rights. Or claim that they had a common law marriage, and that she is entitled to half of his stuff….

  114. I’m pretty sure it’s a combination of wanting equity and girl wanting “their house.” That’s the part I’m unhappy about.

    Ha! My suspicions were correct.

    Oso, I didn’t ask. Probably not.

  115. Denver Botanic Garden: So many succulents
    St. Louis Botanic Garden: Gigantic lily pads

    So many years later and those are my dominant memories of those places

  116. Jimbro, yes! Denver has absolutely no shade. St Louis has a really nice English Woodland walk. Albuquerque has a nice Japanese Garden. Our membership covers zoo, aquarium, and botanic garden. We started to arboretum too. Sculpture Gardens. Jimbro, did you Art Museum in Denver and St Louis?

  117. Car in, just let Matt know that if the girl breaks up with him that she still may be able to claim squatter’s rights. Or claim that they had a common law marriage, and that she is entitled to half of his stuff….

    I just want to make sure he protects himself. I mean, if she is true in heart, she has no ulterior motive.

    He also has ownership in our company.


  118. You’re probably too far, but Cincinnati has a really awesome zoo. If you stay there, you’ll eventually have to go. It’s a zoo and a botanical garden all AT THE SAME TIME.

    And, then. Of course. There is Cedar Point. The greatest roller coaster amusement park in the nation.

  119. CoAl, mound builders have multiple parks. Pretty cool part of Ohio history. Toledo is pretty cool. Battle of Fallen Timbers. Simon Kenton. Allan Eckert wrote some pretty good fiction.

  120. Art museum in Denver yes, like 3 or 4 visits. St. Louis once I think. Pretty sure if there’s one in Forest Park I went.

  121. Car in, my Buckeye family hasn’t moved since 1794. They don’t understand road trips. We would base our OH trips in Newark/Heath and go from there. My Aunt Carol: you’re driving to Canton? For the Hall of Fame? You have hockey tickets in Buffalo? Niagara Falls? You’re driving to Detroit for football? (1998. We went to Tony Packos because of Klinger)

  122. Yep. Forest Park. Denver has lots of Pre-Columbian art. Boring. See also Pacific Islander 💩 at St Louis.

  123. I think TFW had a very good point. There’s a difference between having a live in when you rent vs. when you own. Bet yer way ahead of me, but I’d be getting some legal advice on the communal property laws etc. Cause everybody knows….. Bishes be crazy

  124. Jimbro, Laumeier was the reason we started exploring sculpture parks. Shaw Arboretum was the reason we started exploring arboretums.

  125. We’ve been zoo members since we got married. AZA has lots of reciprocal admissions. Affordable and fun travel tip.

  126. We saw a cool sculpture park in Loveland CO.

    Loveland is an awesome town. We loved visiting.

  127. Matthei Botanical Gardens advertises free admission. But they’re lying cunts. You have to pay to park. It’s only free if you walk, or bike, and it’s out in the sticks. (LOL. By my house.)

  128. all star game on fox means Joe buck. wiser tossed him softballs once, remember?

  129. Brockmire redeemed Joe Buck. First season

  130. “I was born in Florida, of course I’ve had a finger up my ass…”

  131. I will always be NL. That means a guaranteed loss. FU Wiser and your Ghey Yankee 💩

  132. Medal of Honor recipients at the All Star Game, and a choir arranged as the flag on the field.

    Well Done, Nats. Well Done.

  133. It was meh. MEH!

  134. I was hoping to see this man:

    Dad knew him, same unit and commander, Dust Off in Vietnam.

  135. Some white chick from Germany just beat Serena Williams at Wimbledon. Serena is a big girl. I mean big. She could kick Jesse Ventura’s ass.

  136. Hey, GLand, hope it’s all sunshine and goodness from here on out.

    I was surprised at the ABQ aquarium. Much better than I thought it would be. Insects were good too. Too hot to see the gardens.

  137. Serena nearly died after giving birth. She made it to the final.

  138. Pepe, did you see my brick?

  139. We went to Tony Packos because of Klinger

    Me, too. 2003. Dayton had Centennial of Flight air show, Toledo had some Ohio bicentennial thing with tall ships. Great road trip, ended up in Detroit to see my brother and his family and the Henry Ford Museum.

  140. Max Sherzer can eat a dick.

  141. Welcome back, Guy. Thought of you every time I drove through Music City.

  142. Jay, that was a great version of the national anthem. No Bleeding Gums Murphy, crotch-grabbing, or kneeling. Win!

  143. Roamy, I was going to Tony Packo’s before MASH. When you came to Detroit you should have called me.

  144. Hotspur, it was 2003. I’m not sure I was at Ace’s then, much less Hostages.

  145. But I’m world famous.

  146. We didn’t know about Meechigan when we visited. I have one remaining Buckeye Uncle.

  147. Directions from Ann Arbor to Ohio State: head south ‘til you smell it, head east ‘til you step in it.

  148. JK. I live in Ann Arbor but I’m not a big UofM fan. Been to one football game in 41 years.

  149. Judge just homered off Scherzer.

  150. I’ve been noticing help wanted signs just about everywhere.

    Aldi’s is offering $13 per hour for cashiers.

  151. CT’s economy might be turning!

  152. All Hail Malloy!

  153. Despite that jackass.

    It might be turning because he’s leaving in a few months.

  154. We’ve had a “Carpenters Wanted Apply Within” sign in front of our building for four months (on a very busy road). One actual applicant.

  155. Trout homers off deGrom.

  156. If you really need carpenters you should advertise here.

  157. or ask your mom.

  158. She really knows how to work wood.

  159. Mr. RFH’s sister has been fighting stage 4 breast cancer for the last year and a half. It has spread to her liver (it was already in her spine and pelvis), and she decided to go with hospice care today. She’s not letting anyone on FB know. Prayers and good thoughts much appreciated.

  160. Prayers up.

  161. A trend I’m seeing in today’s runoff is that the person who ran the most negative ads lost. Too close to call in the lieutenant governor race (go Ainsworth!), but I’m very happy that Martha Roby won for Congressional District 2, Steve Marshall won Attorney General, and Rick Pate won agricultural commissioner.

    One of the dumber ads insinuated Ainsworth was a career criminal, getting away with no jail time. He had a boating citation and got caught in a college prank.

  162. XBrad, I have three poat ideas for your place, I just need to make some time to go through all the photos and write the damn things.

  163. Called it for Ainsworth. Twinkle Cavanaugh (yes, her name really is Twinkle) conceded.

  164. Worst politician names? Could this be a game?

    Richard Johnsonhead

    Lyin’ Pete Scuzz

  165. Sorry, Roamie, thoughts and prayers.

  166. Deficita Grande

  167. Hillary Clontin

  168. Whitey Kleagle

  169. Daddy S. Fingers

  170. I’d like to sit around and dream you up a perfect miracle
    I’d catch the wind and have it blow all my kisses to you
    I’ll take the birds and teach them all the words of every love song I know
    And I’d have them derp around and sing them all to you

  171. Dick Stolen Valor Skeletor

  172. I have a tendency to over sugar and post on social media. Drunk posting would make more sense than a scoop of ice cream post.

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