HHD

Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.
One of the fun moments of this vacation was finding out not only my kids had been tracking how many steps I’d taken each day but that they knew this song.

Now for the hunks. Fake redhead for Carin.


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And a happy birthday to Chris Evans.

Thank you for your attention, thanks to Pirate’s Cove for the linky love, and y’all have a good day.

157 Comments

  1. roamy, did the tsa give you the full frontal assault too?

  2. laura –
    i sent you a question via the “just the tip line”

  3. at some point i would think the tsa will molest the wrong cowgirl (or boy)…
    i want to be on that jury

  4. Thermite with the tit tip last night i see

  5. if i’m left alone tooo much longer in here something bad this way may come

  6. I really don’t know all the ins and outs of the att/tw merger but npr is loving the fact that the government didn’t want the merger and it went through anyway.

  7. *prepares to haul bloated deer carcass into poat*

  8. wakey wakey

    It’s better to drag the carcass before it gets bloated. After that, I wash my hands of the issue. “Something” has moved the carcass I dragged.

  9. During the whole deer carcass incident I wanted to mention that you could use a plastic sled to slide the carcass. Just flip it on the sled like a floppy smelly tire and drag away with a lower coefficient of friction

  10. I took a plastic dropcloth (or those heavier ones for outside use) just in case, but it wasn’t too hard to just drag so that’s what I did.

    I crossfit, man. Crossfit. Constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensity. I don’t need no sled.

  11. I’d have used a tarp just to minimize contact with the body.

  12. Scott actually has experience with a deer carcass exploding.

  13. What is wrong with randomly searching people in wheelchairs? Nothing is obvious, especially when you are trying to hide something.

  14. oh man, that needs to be scottsplained.

  15. Pupster, check your derpmailpartyline.

  16. Jam2, replies sent.

  17. How many sharp sticks did he poke in its bloated abdomen before it let loose?

  18. I’ve seen them look they’re about to blow, but don’t think I’ve ever seen one that did.

  19. Ah …..a putrefaction blog…..classy……excellent morning topic….and while were here, can I get a amen for Road Kill? I think there is a vid out there of some carcass on the beach blowing up.

  20. Oh yeah, the whale story.

    And no, it wasn’t mare.

  21. I must not have caught up to the deer carcass story yet.

    TSA actually wasn’t too bad this time, except that we got screened in London and again in Charlotte. Probably because we were able to keep our shoes on in London. Customs agent called us alcoholics.

  22. The whale carcass was Oregon and blew up due to dynamite, not putrification

  23. Were you keeping liquor in your shoes?

  24. From my mom’s facedouch – a meme about Trump saying that Un is a great guy (it’s called “diplomacy”):

    My mom’s sister: I wonder how Otto’s parents feel about his assessment?

    · Reply · 11m

    My mom: Do u think he cares?

    It’s as if they have no idea who the president was when Otto was arrested, and who did NOTHING regarding his release.

  25. Mr. RFH and Mini-me met the cousin who still owns the family winery in Germany last year. He does not sell the wine in the U.S., and we can’t get it shipped to AL because there are dry counties. We found six bottles in England and brought them back. Rocketboy bought a bottle of whisky in Scotland for his future father-in-law. There was also a mini-bottle of whisky and part of a six-pack we didn’t finish.

  26. Roamy – last week there was a dead deer on the end of my driveway. I had to remove it myself. I dragged it into the woods.

    It was superfun.

  27. Car in is being modest. She developed an entire workout routine involving said deer.

    There was a lot of work involved, including tires.

  28. “Deer carcass” = “teenaged boy”

  29. 100 meter deer drag for time.

  30. Ok, I have a million things to do. I don’t want to do any of them. bla.

  31. So you’re supposed to be able to get a refund of the British VAT. I got the VAT forms for the bigger purchases, had them all filled out. It’s literally a 2-foot register tape. You can’t get the refund unless you have your boarding pass and show the actual items you purchased. Well, the problem with that is you can’t carry a fifth of whisky on the plane, and you have to check your bag when you get your boarding pass. You find all this out after waiting in a long line. I was not happy, and neither were several other Americans who got ripped off.

    There was probably some way we could have shown an electronic boarding pass, but I don’t know how that would work for four people and one phone.

    While in line I did tell a complete stranger “War Eagle!” because he was wearing an Auburn shirt. Gotta stick together.

  32. A girl from work was kicked out of her house by her dick boyfriend. She’s staying with a friend, but had to leave her furniture behind until she finds a new place. Girl’s mom died of cancer 6 weeks back and now this. Dick boyfriend is a LOSER with a capital L, and the electricity is in her name. She is afraid to switch it because she doesn’t know what he’ll do with her stuff, but he’s sure to not pay the bill.

    So … I told her she could put her stuff in my garage. It’s not that much, but there are boxes of mementos of her mom, and some furniture etc. So …I have to clean the garage. Needed to be done anyway.

  33. When I was a little kid, we had a 30′ Sea Ray. One day at the dock prepping for the day of fishing, my brother saw a sea turtle floating upside down. Bloated like Michael Moore.
    He grabbed the gaff to try to get it – yep, it exploded like that whale. Disgusting! It still stunk 7 hours later when we pulled into the slip. To say that Dad was pissed is an understatement.

  34. A girl from work was kicked out of her house by her dick boyfriend. She’s staying with a friend, but had to leave her furniture behind until she finds a new place. Girl’s mom died of cancer 6 weeks back and now this. Dick boyfriend is a LOSER with a capital L, and the electricity is in her name. She is afraid to switch it because she doesn’t know what he’ll do with her stuff, but he’s sure to not pay the bill.

    1) How the hell was she kicked out of her house?
    b) This is why you don’t move in together unless you’re engaged.
    III) Car in, you’re a good human. I don’t care what the rest of the people here say behind your back.

  35. We didn’t buy anything when we went to the UK. I think we bought shampoo for her in France. Just food otherwise. Never even thought to try and claw anything back from the Leviathan.

  36. It was Mini-me’s birthday while we were over there, and she picked a kilt/skirt, a tartan shawl, and a clan pin for her birthday present. I bought a bunch of T-shirts as well, though not the Harry/Meghan one my stepmom wanted. Wearing a Stirling Castle shirt now, with a Scottish lion on it.

  37. Morning Hostages

  38. Mini me is wearing a plaid skirt? Did you buy her a pair of mary-janes as well?

  39. Heh. Her school shoes are pretty close to mary janes though not shiny.

  40. Comment by bcochran81 on June 13, 2018 10:26 am
    Morning Hostages

    We can haz podcast?

  41. The St. Paul raccoon made it to the roof overnight. It found the food – and the live trap. I was sorta hoping it would steal the food then make its way into the building somehow to wreak havoc for a week or so.

  42. 1) How the hell was she kicked out of her house?

    —- she was paying rent, his name was on the lease. He’s a loser and she’s supported him so he’s probably not going to be able to keep it too long.

    b) This is why you don’t move in together unless you’re engaged.

    Agreed

    III) Car in, you’re a good human. I don’t care what the rest of the people here say behind your back

    Maybe if people would say it to my face, I wouldn’t have such an inflated ego?

  43. she was paying rent, his name was on the lease. He’s a loser and she’s supported him so he’s probably not going to be able to keep it too long.

    Young woman? How long had they been together? I’m always amazed when I hear about women staying in relationships where they are the providers.

  44. She’s young. Maybe 20. I don’t know how long they had been together – the guy worked for us years ago,and she’s been working for us for about a year or so. I don’t know how she got into this situation, but I’m guessing low self-esteem and vulnerability caused by the situation with her mom (fighting cancer for the last two years – this poor girl was her caregiver).

  45. We can haz podcast?

    Sadly not this week. My in-laws left Sunday, after staying with us for a month, and then my older sis in law and her 4 kids arrived Monday evening. They’re leaving today. So the house has been a bit nuts the last few days.

  46. St. Paul has never exactly been what you call “interesting”…

  47. Carin?

    https://tinyurl.com/y9rch5wd

  48. Yea, my kids grew up listening to that kind of stuff. They turned out ok. Mostly.

  49. moving in together is a way of skipping commitment. We don’t need to get married, it’s just the man keeping you down.

    Unless you’re gay. Then you have to get married. Because reasons.

  50. Moving in together is a way to pretend that your relationship is serious and you’re committed. For the man, he avoids actual commitment, while the girl avoids facing the reality that he doesn’t want to commit.

    Seriously, the Colorado Alex Sex Ed class would be four hours of having the boys repeat, “Don’t stick your dick in crazy” and the girls repeat, “I don’t have a magic vagina.”

  51. The kids love to play house, against the supposed wishes of their parents, who have just been warning them to be careful, and not let someone take advantage of them.

    guess what! Someone is now taking advantage of you!

  52. It’s as if they have no idea who the president was when Otto was arrested, and who did NOTHING regarding his release.

    Did you point that out to them or have they somehow managed to prevent you from responding?

  53. Seriously, the Colorado Alex Sex Ed class would be four hours of having the boys repeat, “Don’t stick your dick in crazy” and the girls repeat, “I don’t have a magic vagina.”
    ————————————————–
    Um, vaginas are magic.

  54. Mine would be to the women: “Yes, a perfectly nice man will absolutely shack up with you for years upon years, living a man’s perfect dream world of using up all your youth and beauty for nothing, and then break up with you when you’re too old to find somebody good or have a family. And it’s your own fault if he does.”

    To the men: “It’s heartless to make her audition for years for a role you have no intention of ever letting her have. There is no naked supermodel waiting just around the corner to jump on your dick, so I don’t know what you’re waiting for. But if you really won’t marry her, do one honorable thing in your life as a man, be honest to the girl and let her go find someone who will.”

    But nobody ever listens to me, so. Whatever. I’ll just be over here sitting in the dark with a bad back and a head full of these great life tips that no one will ever hear.

  55. Moving in together is a way to pretend that your relationship is serious and you’re committed. For the man, he avoids actual commitment, while the girl avoids facing the reality that he doesn’t want to commit.

    It’s what I told my daughter when she asked me a hypothetical of what would I think if she took the better paying job 3 hours the opposite direction of where her boyfriend lived…..and they moved in together to save money….with separate rooms of course.

    I started off with, ‘You’re an adult and can do whatever you want BUT…’. We argued for a half hour over it. If they want to play house, then get married. Living togethers have a higher rate of divorce and no I don’t approve of even this ‘boy’ using you with the always open option of walking away free and clear. Mr. Beasn had to peel me off the ceiling when he got home.

    She took the low paying job 45 minutes away from her boyfriend, who still lives at home.
    *wonders when he will go out of his way for her*

  56. Um, vaginas are magic.

    Only in that they can make weak men do awful things. They generally don’t make good men out of bad ones, though they can often do the opposite.

  57. Is it like when you sous vide things, and no one listens to your advice?

  58. lauraw, my husband is itching to take her boyfriend aside to ask him what his intentions are and put it to him as you lay out. I told him to tread lightly……but……Mr. B. is very much like his father, whose type of ‘candor’ is well known in the family. He could get away with it whereas my daughter would never forgive me.

  59. WHAT? Nobody’s listening to my sous vide advice??!?

    *runs crying to bedroom and slams the door*

  60. Um, vaginas are magic.

    It can get you past cover charges, or out of speeding tickets. There’s no skill in vaginamancy that can turn a full-time bass player, part-time pizza delivery guy and pot-head into a clean-cut, upstanding citizen with a 401(k) and a good credit score.

  61. I listen to Laura’s sous vide advice. I don’t follow it, but I listen.

  62. There’s no skill in vaginamancy that can turn a full-time bass player, part-time pizza delivery guy and pot-head into a clean-cut, upstanding citizen with a 401(k) and a good credit score.

    That perk is there in the skill tree, but you have to do the “insist he get clean and sober and don’t have sex with him (of any kind) or live with him until marriage in a church or synagogue” quest line to unlock it.

  63. of course, you mean rape-sex. I’ve been informed that all sex is rape.

  64. What’s a sous vide?

  65. OF ANY KIND

  66. That perk is there in the skill tree, but you have to do the “insist he get clean and sober and don’t have sex with him (of any kind) or live with him until marriage in a church or synagogue” quest line to unlock it.

    And learn to play a real instrument.

  67. like the clarinet?

  68. Well that’s fucking great. Finally decided to pull the trigger on the second shoulder surgery. Call to get an appt with my surgeon. Earliest appt is July 11th. Awesome.

  69. Comment by Jay in Ames on June 13, 2018 12:35 pm
    like the clarinet?

    He can record an album of cover songs.

  70. laura will fill you in on sous vide when she’s done crying. You don’t have to listen, either.

  71. Ummm…..

    https://www.soylent.com

  72. I assumed he’d move on from playing bass after the weed left his system.

  73. Hmmm, Teresa, I feel like I’ve seen some marketing for that product before.

  74. I’m more than a little unnerved that I currently live surrounded by actual soy plants.

    Can’t wait to drill the rye and hairy vetch into that field.

  75. what about the pot and mushrooms?

  76. I don’t want to play bass, and mushrooms need shade.

  77. why is leon drilling hairy wry retches in a field?
    i thought he was married to a nice girl

  78. thanks for the email lauraw

  79. “There is no naked supermodel waiting just around the corner to jump on your dick,”
    ===========

    Way to kill my dreams…………..

  80. I actually still need to sort out my ideal seed mixture, but hairy vetch is highly recommended. I would like to have a good mix of warm- and cool-season grasses and legumes so that we could plausibly do year-round grazing in the future.

  81. It can get you past cover charges, or out of speeding tickets. There’s no skill in vaginamancy that can turn a full-time bass player, part-time pizza delivery guy and pot-head into a clean-cut, upstanding citizen with a 401(k) and a good credit score.
    —————————————————
    Vaginamancy. That’s hilarious.

  82. AKA bitchcraft.

  83. Haha, Abe to Merkel (from AOS)

    That’s funneh

  84. I’m totally buying Lauraw’s newsletter!!

  85. https://tinyurl.com/y94g3naz

  86. I’m gonna send erin to Lauraw’s house for a stern what-to-for lecture

  87. Why did I hang out with self sufficient ladies? I needed to get one down at the other place.

  88. Why did I hang out with self sufficient ladies? I needed to get one down at the other place.

    Strong, independent woman who don’t need no man… don’t need no man. Keep looking.

  89. Time to take the mower deck off the new tractor and grease the bearings. Then in it’s MOW TIME.

  90. It’s too late, one already trapped me in the obsolete scam known as marriage.

    SAVE YOURSELFS!

  91. Comment by PepeLp on June 13, 2018 4:00 pm

    https://tinyurl.com/y94g3naz

    In the immortal words of sohos, Mine’s bigger.

  92. LOL, Pendejo.

  93. I wish I was rich

  94. I find it funny when a woman’s dating profile reads, “I have a career, a dog, and own my own home.”

    Then what do you need me for?

  95. Jay, that’s me. I remember uys talking about bitcoin back in 2010, and I almost bought some, but changed my mind.

  96. If you bought in ’10 and sold in ’16, you’d have made money.

    Otherwise, you’d be a sucker.

  97. Comment by Colorado Alex In Exile on June 13, 2018 4:30 pm

    I find it funny when a woman’s dating profile reads, “I have a career, a dog, and own my own home.”

    Then what do you need me for?

    To kill spiders.

  98. Fuck me running!
    Is Jimbro or Laura around?
    I just spilled boiling hot water on my hand – what’s the best thing to do?
    (Years ago, Mom would put butter on a burn…)

  99. Well for one thing, don’t waste time asking questions on the Intarwebs…

  100. Thanks a lot Mr Sympahatic!

  101. Cold water immediately. Not ice water, just cold.

  102. And actually I think the butter thing is still valid…

  103. Scratch that, no butter on burns. (Never ask me for this kind of advice, I’m an idiot about such things…)

  104. But I bet you did that almost out of reflex….

  105. Is it blistering?

  106. If it blisters you should prolly amputate the hand

  107. Nah. No blistering (yet?).
    Cold tap water immediately seemed to be the trick. Then just soakiing in a bowl for a while.
    Soaking my liver in bourbon doesn’t hurt either.
    To make matters worse, the rice isn’t all that great.

  108. You should have your prostate checked.

  109. Leon, will you be able to do MMM next week? Is not, I can fill in with a poat.

  110. One of the Old Wives is saying “let the dog lick it”. She may have dementia.

  111. Another one is mumbling something about “lard and a wool sock”

  112. Just remember, if you get a migraine from the water, your head is infected and they may have to amputate…

  113. Cold water now, buy some Silvadene cream to use later. Cream then a thin layer of gauze.

  114. Thanls, but your mom checked my prostrate last night.

  115. I’m at 8th grade graduation. Kids are singing some song that’s vaguely familiar from the radio

  116. Then what do you need me for?

    Smashing Pumpkins

    https://is.gd/63YYgE

  117. Just tie a wet bandana around it and cover that with plastic wrap to keep it from drying out. Refresh with cool water occasionally if it warms up too much or starts to dry. Go to bed like that. Will be healed quite a lot by morning, if you caught it well before it blistered.

  118. Your hand will wake you if it dries out.

  119. https://is.gd/zWzKn5

  120. Actual convo at the W’s

  121. Not unlike my ex-girlfriend Scott.

  122. Good evening Citizens!

    Been texting with Tushar this pm and sadly won’t be able to make it to CT. Flying two London trips back to back.

    Four North Atlantic crossings in 6 days, yep gonna need some 80 proof Jetlag relief.

  123. Holy crap. #1 son got a call from a friend at the Forest Service. Some people called them because their truck broke down and they needed a ride and water. Forest Service people were evidently all out on a fire so they couldn’t go.

    #1 son goes out and finds the people. Turns out they bought a ranch a couple of years ago. They were out checking it and got lost. Then their truck broke down. They were in sight of the main road. Their house was about 4 miles away. WTF??? They aren’t older people. This is the equivalent of getting lost in your back yard.

    I’d have to be dying or severely injured before I called the Forest Service for a ride. Especially if my house was that close. SMDH.

  124. People are idiots. I walked into a local business the other day to let them know their wood mulch was on fire. A quart of water would have put it out.

    They sell bottled water.

    Nope.

    They called the fire department.

  125. Crazy event. I was about one block away when a train killed a person in town. Suicide most likely. But I groaned when I saw the lights go off for the train and then it stopped. It’s still blocking all of town. Happened almost right in front of me.

  126. Train violence.

    We need to control that.

  127. Was it a dark colored train?

  128. Ugh, that happened here once, too. Some teen passed out on the tracks.

  129. Tell us a story about an exploding deer carcass, scott.

  130. Seen any of those train vids outta India? When shit goes wrong there are body parts everywhere.

  131. I should be good for next Monday Alex, fit just hit the shan immediately after a very late night this week. That said, if you’re feeling inspired ‘n’ whatnot, I could take another week off.

  132. Jesus. Pic of the Canadian trade delegation. They are sending these people to deal with Trump’s people? Trump team = about 1,000 years of experience and ruthless. Canadia? Woman in a poorly fitting dress with Skippy and his buddies.

    https://tinyurl.com/ybtnls3w

  133. The new VP of a company I worked for invited me to a round of golf.

    Later on I invited a friend to join us.

    Friend shows up late. I am freaking out.

    His first words are …..I need a sharp knife and some garbage bags.

  134. He found what he thought was fresh roadkill, so I help drag it into our backyard.

    It was a little less than fresh.

  135. He put a knife into it and there was an explosion of stink.
    I was 15 feet away and it knocked me over.

    Friend was staggering about, dry heaving, covered with a smelly substance that looked like guacamole.

    First impression with new VP was interesting.

  136. Nice!

  137. 60-something kids graduate from 8th grade in Maine. Exactly one black kid, one Dot Indian and one Hispanic kid. Might have been some Feather Indians but I didn’t recognize any of the common tribal names on the roster so probably not.

  138. Alex, if you’re jonesing to do a post feel free to post tomorrow. I got nothing in the can and I need to head up to camp to wait for a load of crushed rock to be delivered so I’ll be away from reliable internet.

  139. Your mom is also waiting for a load.

  140. Shitty day, here. Rain like hell for 10 minutes, sun comes out for 5. Over and over and…
    Looked like a good day to replace the washing machine lid-switch.
    I should have just left the jumper in there. It was working…

  141. Huh. The new Wonder Woman movie is scheduled to start filming here in Virginia soon.
    If anyone wants an autograph from Gal Gadot, let me know. I’ll see if she has time in between making me pancakes and sammiches.

  142. We need common sense train control!

  143. Your mom doesn’t think so.

  144. And now, for something completely different:

  145. There’s the progress
    We have found a way to derp around the problem
    Building towers
    Foresight isn’t anything at all

  146. One of my cousins committed suicide by laying his head across a railroad track and letting a train finish the job. He was kinda fuqd up from the getgo.

  147. That is horrifying, vato.
    I’ve had suicide hit [I]very[/i] close to home three times in recent years, but never anything so gruesome. Give him points for creativity?

  148. Creativity? Desperation? I don’t know.

    His dad, my dad’s older brother, had a masters degree in chemistry but spent most of his adult life in an insane asylum. He tried to suicide several times.

  149. From what I’ve learned many (most?) do not succeed on first attempt.
    I know that was the case with Joffen. Poor troubled bastard tried three or four times before I ever let him.
    What a shitshow of a worldview one must have to see that as even an option…

  150. * met, gaddammit. Met, not let.


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