Saturday funnies

Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder for today.

True.

*

Which reminds me of this.
Y’all have a good day.

153 Comments

  1. repost:

    Raccoons aren’t really related to pandas, nor are “red pandas”. The term “trash panda” offends my desire for accuracy.

    I prefer “bandit weasel”.

  2. I don’t know what Leon is talking about, however, that is not a new situation.

    Leon is my go-to for answers though.

  3. https://is.gd/ZLi6hn

  4. The internet at some point decided to call raccoons “trash pandas”, Mare, which is silly for the reasons stated.

  5. That was certainly a thoughtful gift for Paula, Jimbro.

    https://is.gd/aF53HG

  6. Raccoons are super cool and cute, until they are not. We used to put out dog food on our back deck when Amy and I were first living together, had a nice apartment that backed up to woods and a creek. We’d get anywhere from 3 to 8 raccoons a night and we’d watch them eat through the sliding glass door. One night when the food was done, the biggest one started trying to open the sliding door, raising up on his hind legs and yanking on the handle. That was the end of the raccoon buffet.

  7. Good to see tha Leon’s come around to the benefits of kipping.

    https://is.gd/M87iKu

  8. Well, evidently Crossfit does involve gymnastics.

  9. I lived in boarding houses when I was a co-op student. One of the landlords fed the raccoons dog food until the raccoons started scratching at the cedar shingles (I assume for bugs). Completely trashed the siding wherever they could reach. After he quit feeding them, one would still show up in the evening and watch our TV through the window.

    That landlord didn’t have very good luck with animals. He had an aquarium, and someone made the mistake of adding a small catfish. Catfish ate all the other fish.

  10. Morning Pepe, how are the cattle futures looking?

  11. Thanks for posting Roamie. How’s things in the house of rockets?

  12. Mr. RFH planned a picnic for the middle school and high school Science Olympians that he coached. They are going to test the backup towers, grill some hotdogs, then burn all of the tower remnants.

    It’s 43 degrees here.

  13. I played your Which reminds me of this. link for Mrs. Pupster, that dude is funny.

  14. He’s hit or miss, but that routine is genius.

    Mini-me may be hosting an impromptu anti-prom here. I said she could, so no painting the basement, but I kind of thought I would know if it’s actually happening and how many people are coming for dinner by now.

  15. I had fun at proms, I always thought the tux/dress thing was dumb but it is a rite of passage I guess.

    Will there be live music?

  16. Don’t really follow futures, Pups. Cattle prices are good right now. Probably bottom out in September when we sell.

    56 degrees here right now. 30 – 40 mph winds predicted. 50 mph tomorrow.

  17. https://tinyurl.com/ydgzbcfe

  18. It was 75° and sunny yesterday. Absolutely beautiful.
    It is now in the forties and dropping, raining like hell and windy enough to ruin my rabbit-ear reception so I can’t veg & channel surf.
    AccuWeather promises dropping temps until it reaches low thirties & rain turns to sleet & snow. My weekend is fucked.

    And wonderful. As I was typing, the power just went out. Tried turning on twice, only to cut back off. I may have to just go sit on a barstool somewhere and listen to depressing country songs…

  19. Mini-me may be hosting an impromptu anti-prom here. I said she could, so no painting the basement, but I kind of thought I would know if it’s actually happening and how many people are coming for dinner by now.Mini-me may be hosting an impromptu anti-prom here. I said she could, so no painting the basement, but I kind of thought I would know if it’s actually happening and how many people are coming for dinner by now.

    Maybe you should PROPOSE a painting project for the basement. See if you can get some info with that threat …

  20. https://tinyurl.com/y6urxj2f

  21. What the heck? Who’s the dumbass posing with a bitey snake?

  22. Urrrgh, internet is at 9.7 kbs. Slower than dial up. Really need to figure out something else.

  23. We had snow last night and most of it has already melted. Sun is out but it’s still cool (40’s) and windy so not very comfy outside. Spring has been slow to arrive here. Maybe if we took the Christmas wreath down from the front door Mother Nature would get a clue.

  24. HotBride is in Charleston with our friend Pat. I just texted her the newpussycat thing. She fell for it.

    LOL

  25. https://is.gd/YRuuYS

  26. I’ve got a wreath up too … maybe Jimbro and I are responsible for this …

  27. I moved my extendable ice scraper from the back seat to the back hatch. It’s my bad.

  28. I keep meaning to get it down but when I’m inside it’s hard to see so I forget. It’s really a two person job, one to unlock the storm door and one to haul it away to the woods.

  29. I put away the down comforter, it’s my fault.

  30. Wait, my what comes from where now?

    https://is.gd/1Dof8U

  31. Scott finally cleaned out his old tool chest.

    https://is.gd/AEHlCN

  32. https://is.gd/bJI0ux

  33. Everybody must be making their Master’s snacks.

  34. watching the st Louis baseball game, thinking of beasn freezing her ass off.

  35. I’m too lazy to get up and move rlthe rabbit ears around. Why would I make my dog a snack?

  36. Yannow what’s been missing from this shithole blog? A good joke thread.

    How about Worst Sponsors for NASCAR Races?

    Like…

    The My Bariatric Solutions 300

    Actually, that’s not a joke. It’s running right now.

  37. Bariatric surgery is a growing field, and very hard to outsource.

  38. Glad it’s slow here at work right now because that Salt and Pepper Diner clip had me fucking crying I was laughing so hard.

  39. Scott and I were driving to the store listening to that on my phone this morning. We had to turn around, go home and get fresh pants.

  40. I’ll spare you the details of where I listened to that this morning.

    Baked beans yesterday + valsalva from laughing added up to a colon cleanse

  41. Lost the security deposit on the rental car?

  42. It was like the liberation of France

    Classic.

  43. I was in my safe place

  44. I just quit twitter.

    Fuck that sewer.

  45. I would delete Facechimp and Twitter, but I’ve not logged on to either for about 6 years and can’t remember my logons…

  46. Scott,
    Where is the delete Account?
    All I can find is “Deactivate & Reactivate”?

  47. Scott,
    Never mind,
    I did the “Deactivate” and it will be deleted in 30 days.
    I was gonna do a “Fuck You @Jack, you Communist mofo”, but he has my email address…

  48. Ditched Twitter when their censorin’ ways started to get all too obvious. Haven’t missed it one bit.

  49. All alone here, night all…

  50. sharp looking couple you all make there sean

  51. Thanks, jams.

  52. Heh, the new Jumanji is pretty funny. Jack Black playing a girl is hysterical.

  53. I must think of a way into your heart
    There’s no reason why
    My being shy should keep us apart
    And I think I’m goin’ out of my derp
    Yes, I think I’m goin’ out of my derp

  54. I enjoyed it to. Jack Black was my favorite part.

    wakey wakey

    harp looking couple you all make there sean

    what ddid I miss?

  55. I have a twit account but I never look at it.

  56. Picture of the happy couple and two other friends late Friday night I believe

  57. “what did I miss?”

    A photo.

    7:57 PM on the BBF thread.

  58. The only twits I read are the ones from Twitchy and the ones I get in an email from Twitter that selects 5 or 6 people I follow. If I see a brand of anything I’m interested in but don’t want their emails in my inbox I’ll follow them on Twitter with the thought I might see something from them that sparks my interest (it’s never happened as far as I can recall).

    Gab is out there but I never go there. Every now and then I’ll get Gab follows by prostitutes letting me know that they’re available for happy fun times. It’s easy to mute them on Gab.

  59. Duct tape works to mute them too, Jimbro.

  60. If I wanted that much hate in my life I would be on Facebook.

  61. I assume the Trump Tower fire is arson, and it’s why I pray for Trump often. May angels and a competent Secret Service protect him.

  62. Howdy H2. Spent the morning putting together BBF, took Boy1 to werk, now the beans are soaking and the broth is simmering for ham and bean soup for dinner. My life is awesome and I’m the luckiest man alive.

    I’ve got this thing about pants legs that hang up on boots or are tucked in, it drives me crazy when I see it. Boy1 has to wear black pants to work, and he works outside about 50% of the time, so his go-to work pants are a little ratty and frayed at the bottom. This morning he came downstairs with the pant legs inside his socks. I pointed it out and he said, “yeah”. When he was putting his shoes on, I pointed it out again and he said “yeah”. When we got into the car I pointed it out again and he said “I know”.

    When we got to work he got out and I told him one last time, and he said, “Yeah, but my pants legs are frayed.” I let him know that frayed pants legs don’t look good, but are preferable to having your pants tucked into your socks, that looks like you are an escaped mental patient. “Well, like…that’s your opinion, Dad”.

    So I watched him walk in to work, I didn’t get the turn-around-last -smile-and-wave he usually gives me, and I thought about this man, this son of mine, my bearded first born, and how hard he tries to do the right thing all the time. I don’t know how to turn off the frustration and just accept that he’s is going to make his own choices, I’d like for him to defer to my opinion a bit more, but he is his own man. I still don’t have an answer.

    But please don’t tuck your pants into your socks. I’ve got a thing about that.

  63. You know who likes things tucked into pants?

    Leon.

  64. Pupster, you pick your battles. It’s all you can do sometimes.

    One of mine is fighting Rocketboy’s pronunciation of nuclear as “nuke-u-ler”. Drives me crazy (short drive).

  65. Knooklear

  66. https://is.gd/ikl4Kl

  67. Knuckler

  68. https://is.gd/tvakyH

  69. https://is.gd/fTUYix

  70. some things we just have no control over.

  71. Comment by Pupster on April 8, 2018 1:45 pm
    https://is.gd/____When_Alex_met_Jimbro

  72. Ca rin, the newfie won his category on Beverly Hills Best in Show. Such a handsome doggeh.

  73. I had to go looking. MY newfies were not so awesome today. Oschi is some sort of devil bastardized version of a newfie. Because she’s so small she if FUCKING WICKED FAST. You can’t believe that dog. I took her to Tractor supply and she was a very very bad dog – got away. @@.

    so embarrassing.

    Training 101 starts in earnest tomorrow.

    DId I mention she is fucking fast? Gah.

  74. My wifi is shitting the bed. It’s down more than it’s up….like your dad. Mr. B isn’t back from church so I’m hoping he’s shopping for a new wifi dojobbie.

  75. car in, do newfies slobber?

  76. Like stink on a monkey.

  77. When we met Oschi, she was a determined and singleminded waterside hunter and forest clamshell retriever.

    Still makes me smile, thinking of how Moose settled down with a clamshell he found in the woods between his paws, and ground away at that one miniscule little piece of clam muscle stuck to the inside. Frickin’ 150-lb dog going after a 1/2 gram of clam meat with all his might.

  78. Oschi is a dry mouth. Even moose only drools at the sight of something yummy.

  79. Cute as all get out, they are.

  80. …for monsters, that is. Cute monsters.

  81. She’s as nimble as a cat too.

  82. Holy crap, it’s cold and gray again today. My mood has been riding with the roller coaster weather. AND IT’S NOT HAPPY!!

    I watched some program on PBS…Defining Hope (?)…I think. About terminal and end of life care at Calvary Hospital in NY. Old WWll vet
    got me right in the feelers. End stage lung cancer. Lost his wife a few years back from cancer and he misses her something fierce. “You love your mother, you love your brothers and sisters, but there is nothing like the love for a wife.” (it’s mostly what he said…as my brain has already begun to shit my head..)
    I am happy for Hospice, who will visit him often and be with him at the end.

  83. On our hike this morning we saw a black squirrel. I don’t recall ever seeing them before. Scott pointed it out. Crazy, at first sight I thought I was looking at a black cat scaling a tree, then the shape of it clicked in. Plus it was too small and going way too fast to be a cat.

  84. I’ve never seen I black squirrel myself. But apparently they are a big thing in D.C. The zoo started with 8 from Canada over 100 years ago, and now they make up 25% or more of the population in some neighborhoods.

  85. It’s down more than it’s up….like your dad.

    LOL. Glad to see equal time at H2.

  86. Rowan chased a whole flock of turkeys this morning. Glad there wasn’t a tom turkey with them. After they got away he proceeded to reward himself with a nice roll in turkey shit which earned him a bath.

  87. My parents have white squirrels in their neighborhood.

    We’ve had the crazy weather here, too – on Friday our friends were helping us on our porch renovation in shorts and tshirts in 87° weather. Yesterday, everyone was in their winter coats; I think the high was around 42°.

    One of our friends said, “We aren’t quite at freezing, but we can sure see it!”

  88. And Mr. TiFW made a slight mathematical error when ordering porch decking and only got half of what was needed to complete the job.

    He’s going back tomorrow to order the rest. Right before he leaves town for the week.

    When last seen, he was grumbling about “not carrying the one”….

  89. Do Newfies smell and do they spend a lot of time licking their balls…like your dad?

  90. In Tucson to visit my mom and do taxes. Mom is recovering from hand surgery. Arthritis in several fingers and they were getting really crooked. A few new joints and a couple of fused/pinned joints. Crazy the stuff they can do. They can probably even fix your dad’s joint. ☺ 😉

  91. but are preferable to having your pants tucked into your socks, that looks like you are an escaped mental patient.
    ——-
    We often use the “escaped mental patient” description around here

    https://tinyurl.com/y8dzqseo

  92. Ugh, taxes. Thanks for the reminder. At this point I’ll be getting the extension.

  93. I had no idea that they were doing joint replacement on fingers now, Pepe.
    Yes, amazing. I guess it makes sense – they’ve been doing hips and knees for decades now. Why not fingers? Probably even more helpful to the people that need it.

  94. I’ve seen the low tech silastic implants for MCP joints when I was a resident. “Rubber knuckles”. I’m sure they’ve come up with better ones over the years.

  95. Kurt Schlichter’s book, Indian Country is really good. The action and satisfaction are Ben Coes, Vince Flynn good. Highly recommend.

  96. joint replacement

  97. Speaking of squirrels, look to the left of Mom…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7nFd13puQ0&feature=share

  98. WE’VE GOT A NEW ROUTER!!! WoOT!

  99. Rubber Knuckles < Daddy's Fingers

  100. Bobblehead at :35

  101. http://www.waaytv.com/content/news/Jacksonville-State-University-releases-security-cam-video-of-tornado–479098543.html

    EF3 tornado closed a community college near here for 3 weeks. Same front dumped a load of hail on a couple of car dealerships, so I expect there are some bargains to be had.

  102. Do eagles eat squirrels?

  103. Mare, eagles eat any critter they can catch….live or fresh road kill.

  104. That’s why it’s best one hunts with lead-free shot. If they find the guts or a dead beast that the hunter couldn’t find, they tend to swallow the shot. If lead, it kills the eagle.

  105. We’ve been without a dryer close to 3 weeks. Dryer switch at the door was broken and I watched about 10 YouTube videos on replacing it. Ordered it and got the part within a few days. When I took the dryer apart the switch on my dryer was not the plug n’ play version that all the videos showed. This one required electrical knowledge. Repair shops wanted $100 just to come out and look. For a dryer that’s close to 20 years old that didn’t make sense. So off to Home Depot for a new dryer. $100 extra because it’s a gas version. Delivery guys can’t set it up because it’s gas. And oh yeah we have to order the gas connection kit since they can’t reuse the old one. The kit wasn’t going to arrive before the day they were scheduled to connect it so we had to reschedule. The guys who dropped it off were polite and efficient. When they put the old dryer in the truck they kept looking for something and finally emerged with a brand new, unused gas connection kit they had hanging around in the truck. When we called the gas company back (last Monday) they gave us a date for later this week.

    Paula has been doing laundry here and running in town to use the dryers at the laundromat. When she went there today and started loading laundry directly into the dryers the kid running the place said “You realize those are dryers, right?” She gave him the death stare while counting to ten.

  106. $20 worth of quarters

  107. We’ve been without a dryer close to 3 weeks. Dryer switch at the door was broken and I watched about 10 YouTube videos on replacing it. Ordered it and got the part within a few days. When I took the dryer apart the switch on my dryer was not the plug n’ play version that all the videos showed. This one required electrical knowledge. Repair shops wanted $100 just to come out and look. For a dryer that’s close to 20 years old that didn’t make sense. So off to Home Depot for a new dryer. $100 extra because it’s a gas version. Delivery guys can’t set it up because it’s gas. And oh yeah we have to order the gas connection kit since they can’t reuse the old one. The kit wasn’t going to arrive before the day they were scheduled to connect it so we had to reschedule. The guys who dropped it off were polite and efficient. When they put the old dryer in the truck they kept looking for something and finally emerged with a brand new, unused gas connection kit they had hanging around in the truck. When we called the gas company back (last Monday) they gave us a date for later this week.

    Paula has been doing laundry here and running in town to use the dryers at the laundromat. When she went there today and started loading laundry directly into the dryers the kid running the place said “You realize those are dryers, right?” She gave him the death stare while counting to ten.
    ________________________________________________________

    Did he die?

  108. Fortunately he was young and had enough life essence to survive.

    He did sprout a crop of fresh gray hairs though

  109. We used to have an eagle cam at Norfolk botanical garden. It was a lot of fun to watch. Especially when they fed the eaglets.
    But, since the Gardens are right next to the airport, the eagles would sometimes fly over there. So the airport got a permit to kill the eagles. Really.

  110. There’s a shutoff close to that. You can hook it up, jimbro, it’s easy.

  111. I’m sure it is but no way am I doing it. I’ll let a trained professional do it so I don’t get in a jam with my homeowner’s insurance when the mud room goes up.

  112. I’ve been limiting my dirty clothes to just socks, underwear and t-shirts to give Paula a break on the laundry. It helps that I’ve been off for the last week and not wearing presentable pants and shirts to work. We haven’t had much luck with the boys who are generating just as much laundry as before.

  113. Our neighbor spotted a bobcat.

    This is terribly exciting.

  114. Switches are optional.

  115. We ran it a while by duct taping the door shut but it would pop open mid cycle and need retaping. Short term solution.

  116. Time to read a bit and get myself to sleep. Reading “The Last Valley” about Dien Bien Phu so I shouldn’t last too long before drifting off.

  117. Goodnight, sweet Jimb. And flights of Maytag Men sing thee to thy rest.

  118. they kept looking for something and finally emerged with a brand new, unused gas connection kit they had hanging around in the truck.

    It was probably yours. When we ordered appliances, any kits like that are ordered/delivered with said machine.

    We don’t have gas appliances so not sure if they would have told us the same about installation.

  119. “Like stink on a monkey.”

    see – now that’s just hurtful

  120. When we lived in MI many moons ago, we had a gas dryer. Either my husband or the delivery guys hooked it up. Don’t remember having to call the gas company.

  121. Hey Chi, you can view the Decorah eagles here…three eaglets, a few days old…

    http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles/pop-out

  122. Husband did it.

    Delivery people don’t mess with gas.

  123. HA! They’ve got all sorts of foodies in their nest pantry. I see a big ol’ fish. (they made their nest near a fish hatchery)

  124. the eagles here on the chenango river really like terrorizing the mergansers and other waterfowl –

    but, like beasnsszesz said they’ll eat anything they find

  125. Eagles gotta eat.

  126. They are good looking buzzards.

  127. Pretty sure their menu choices are a little better than buzzards.

  128. ………..and she just dozed off.

  129. Squirrel woke up and killed her.

  130. *puts a squirrel’s head in scott’s bed*

  131. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXbq6QJkSd0

  132. How do I keep my bowl cut tight, man?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-AF_kiAvkE

    Dumb of dumber.

  133. “Tornado closed the community college. ..”
    ====
    Lol tornadoes, always going after the poor folks: trailer parks, okies, and now community colleges. ☺ 😉

  134. Outfitter friend was packing some turkey hunters into the wilderness. Ran into 2 mountain lions standing in the middle of the trail. A male and a female. Just stood there looking at them for a couple of minutes.

  135. They were trying to determine which one was the weakest.

  136. I kept waiting for the bowl cut guy to snip off one of his ears. I was pretty relieved when he didn’t. I must be mellowing with age.

  137. you’d look good with a bowl cut, sean. You should try that.

    And an amish beard.

  138. LOL

  139. I was rooting for the scissors.

  140. Car in needs more ducks.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0148LjKrek

  141. I was rooting for the scissors.

    Ha! Me, too.
    Sadly, I know thirty & forty yr old boys that still act and talk like that.

  142. Shirlena?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB59qAfkk3s&t=0m38s

    HAHAHA!

  143. Whoo who.. whoo, who who.

    Great horned owl is sitting on top of our fireplace flue. It’s echoing down here.

    I’m happy they’re back. Haven’t heard them around this past winter.

  144. Chi, that dude looked that old.

  145. you’d look good with a bowl cut, sean. You should try that.

    And an amish beard.

    Man, I am so blessed to have friends who look out for me. Thank you, J’Ames.

  146. My cousin got his masters at JSU.

  147. If you feel you want to derp me
    Go right ahead I don’t mind
    All you got to do is
    Snap your fingers and I’ll come running
    I ain’t lying, I ain’t lying


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