“Taco Tuesday 2: This Time She Doesn’t Have Applause Because the ProBiotics Seem to Have Worked” : Dating the POS Way (An Advice Column for a Friend with a Title Shamelessly Stolen {& slightly altered} From teh Same Friend)

So the big day haz finally arrived.

Mood Music


You’ve been sweating it out for weeks.

You’ve almost gone bankrupt buying the “right” ensemble in order to make the perfect first impression.

You’ve asked your friends for pointers and have read mountains of first date advice.

Now Go…  Have Fun… Time to immerse yourself in the moment –


impoatant update:


  1. t was an organic ginger beet “gut shot” with “110 Billion CFUs of Lactic Acid Bacteria”.

    CFU = continuous fart units, I bet.

    She drank the bottle down, then looked at the label, only to realize with horror that it contained something like 10 servin
    Hoo boy, that made me laugh. Still is. PJM’s microbiota is probably still affected to this day.

  2. Two chicks, one rim


  3. Rimming the starfish


  4. https://tinyurl.com/y738esbs

    Drink Drink Drink !!!

  5. wakey wakey

  6. I make my own kombucha. It”s yummy. I haven’t grown a man bun yet.

  7. Extraction in 10 minutes. It might just be a fasting day.

  8. gray, cold. Supposed to start raining soon. I don’t know how much more I can stand of this.

    People always bitch about Jan or February. No. It’s freakin April when I really start to lose my shit about winter.

  9. Rimming the starfish

    jimbro is MJ?

  10. Good luck with the tooth, leon. When I had it done, it was mac and cheese for a month. I had 4 done, though.

    Are they back filling the root with something from a cow? They made a big deal about that when it was done to me.

  11. We have had about 2 days of nice weather so far, and there is no hope in the 10 day forecast.

    Worst Spring ever.

  12. Saturday we’re predicting a high of 35 and a low of 18. it really is not better in between now and then. Rain and snowy mix.

  13. High’s in the 30’s and lows int he 20s and teens.

  14. drizzly rain, right at 33. Could get ugly if the temp drops.

  15. The weather so far this month

  16. I’m serious. This weather has taken all my motivation. ugh.

    Maybe I should just go to a movie? I think it’s cheap movie day.

  17. isn’t there a crossfit movie yet?

  18. The movie I want to see doesn’t have a showing I can go to today – I need to pick the kids up from school.

  19. there should be a crossfit movie. i’d see that.

  20. Showing all day long for all the other crap. Ready player one? Two showings.

  21. Ready Player One is out. Go see that and report back.

  22. Something called “Sherlock Gnomes? – six showing. WTF?

  23. The world is going to end because of man made global climate change.

    In the meantime, there isn’t any statistical change in the climate and I drove thought a snowstorm in April.

    And yes, I know the difference between climate and weather.

  24. Love Simon? 5 shows.

  25. I cannot yell, spit, use tobacco, or drink alcohol. I may not exercise or lift anything heavy.

    Your mom will be really let down by all of that.

  26. Game Night looks funny. Jason Bateman is strong with the sarcasm gene.

  27. FIL made it through surgery yesterday. Would have been better for everyone if he didn’t, but alas, here we are.

    After spending 2 hours with his ex wife, driving her to the airport a few weeks back after a visit, that guy is dead to me.

  28. Ok, I need to do something before I resort to day drinking.

    (I’ve never actually done that- I imagine “day drinking” would pretty quickly be followed by “day napping”)

  29. MJ, there is not justice in the world.

  30. Leon – that dentist isn’t the boss of you. Tell him to go fuck himself.

  31. Hehe, they remade Overboard

    No way that’s any good. Goldie and Kurt were good in the first one, which was max cheesy.

  32. dry socket is a manly sort of endurance. You’ll be fine.

  33. Heh, she must have been nice, MJ. He sounds like a peach.

  34. Why would they redo something that was so well done originally? I mean, it’s not high art, but I don’t think it could be done better. It was cute.

  35. There are five showings for a A wrinkle in Time, which is supposed to be horrible and bombing.

  36. You can’t drink all day unless you start early.

  37. “Sherlock Gnomes”

    sounds like a porno –
    you should go see it & report back

    (10000 words more or more)

  38. Have you seen the movie of the ages, the one movie to rule them all?

    Wakonda forever!

    (black panther)

  39. I haven’t seen that, but I’m assuming some of my kids would want to see that with me. I never go to the movies.

  40. They don’t want to see Ready Player One? I figured that would have been a homeschool book report, the way you talk about that book.

  41. Yes, they want to see that too … but I want to see it soooo badly … plus my brother wants to come up.

    I’m thinking I just sneak out and don’t tell anyone …

    but the movie theater is working against me.

  42. leon (to misappropriate a line from sxene) i’m glad you’re not dead.

    i hear tell that dentists kill ppl every once in a while to maintain a certain mystique

  43. mj sorry to hear about you fil
    too bad he made it

  44. jam is full of cheerful energy today, isn’t he?

  45. Wait until the weekend, and take Hannah to go see Chappaquiddick.

    That should be fun.

  46. He’ll be dead within 5 years. I think we can all make it that long. As long as the baby will be too young to remember him I think we’re good.

  47. Had fun over the weekend. SIL (who was more lib than anyone else in the fam, we were surprised she voted for Bush) got pissy when I brought up how mad Steve King made Ames voters (blue blue blue city). She isn’t going to vote for him this time, “he went too far”!

    Wondering how to find out what he did that made her so mad. Probably the Gonzalez tweet about the Cuban flag. She said lots of people feel the same way as her. I left it lie after she got mad, but I’m curious.

  48. jay i had my gut punch first thing this am –
    i’m ready to meet the day full speed ahead

  49. My dentist is actually a really cute young woman. It’s very distracting if I let myself think about it.

    9/10 would smash.

  50. My dentist is a very attractive older lady, too, leon. Very nice, too!

  51. Also no spicy foods, no citrus, no seeds or nuts. I have 6# of shredded beef waiting to be carnitas in the fridge, along with 2# of guacamole and 6 peppers I was going to dice up with the meat.

    Gonna be a long few days waiting to eat that.

  52. Haha, imagine what a hot pepper would do to a tooth surgery scar! You might as well suck on a burning stick.

  53. Bad news for Car in.

  54. She’s going to be your problem soon.

  55. omment by Car in on April 3, 2018 9:05 am

    there should be a crossfit movie. i’d see that.
    You oughta chck with Paula. She just rented some sort of crossfit movie. It may have been just coverage of an event but she was watching it on her ipad off and on for a few days.

  56. MJ, what organ or organ system was the surgery on?

    If it’s pancreas you can start making arrangements now. Liver is hit or miss. Bone, well, he may be there for MJr’s kindergarten graduation fete.

  57. Paula took Boy 2 to Bon Jovi at the TD Garden last night. They went to Boston after Easter dinner and hung out in Boston yesterday. They’re on the way home now so I haven’t heard too many stories about the show. The boy has loved Bon Jovi forever. Who knows why. Maybe his dad had CD’s of it that he heard way back when or he just plain likes them. The show was announced months ago and one day she was reading about “special ticket access” to fan club members. She joined the Bon Jovi Fan Club and on the day of ticket sales she was able to get 2 floor seats 11 rows back from the stage. For the 2 tickets plus membership fee the whole thing ran about $300. Every time he got on her nerves she’d check the scalping sites and announce how much money she could make for them if she sold them. It worked pretty well shutting him up

    T-shirts? Way more than $20

  58. I saw the pic of facedouche, but I had to ask who it was. Glad they had fun.

  59. The concerts I go to – the t-shirts have been VERY reasonable.

  60. He loves that shit. Anything where he’s on the road traveling, doesn’t matter too much where it is, although as he gets older and more connected to the gaming lifestyle he does roll his eyes when he’s asked to leave the online game group with his buds. He’s a super nice kid and deserved this trip and time alone with Paula since we’ve all been dealing with the older boy’s bullshit.

    June 10th … June 10th … June 10th

  61. What’s your plan with him? I’m shipping erin to coAlex’s place … I don’t think he’d take a guy too.

  62. Well, since you have an open spot …

  63. One full week with him at your house and you’d be celebrating Erin like the Prodigal Daughter

  64. He’d probably get along famously with flippy hair.

  65. Rowan pushed his door open last night when I got up to pee in the night and started coughing and sneezing from the vape smell in there

  66. MJ, what organ or organ system was the surgery on?
    If it’s pancreas you can start making arrangements now. Liver is hit or miss. Bone, well, he may be there for MJr’s kindergarten graduation fete.
    It wasn’t even serious. He had an aneurysm in his abdomen that they found while doing an MRI for something else. Its been there forever but finally got to the point where the surgeon wanted to do something about it.

    He’s ramping up the opioids though, so. He’s on to Percocet after 4 years of Vicodin. Soon it’ll be Oxy, and then the end!

  67. Erin is not a bad kid. But she’s friends with … losers. They’re nice, but they are ambition-less. TWO of her good friends have been kicked out of their homes (one because the stepfather hit him and he had the audacity to complain about it). The other – I have no clue, really, But I don’t honestly know what parents expect when they kick their kids out of the home when they’re still in high school. The second one has always come across as a kind of nice kid, but I don’t honestly know.

    BOTH of these homes have stepfathers. no slam on Jimbro -because I think he’s demonstrated that he’s a caring step. But a lot of them are NOT so hot.

    Plus – erin has NO plan for what she’s going to do when she graduates. She’s in major denial.

  68. I could use her as a farm hand. We’ll have wifi.

  69. Abdominal aneurysm huh?

    Yeah, the opiod angle will be the one that does him in.

  70. For some reason ours gravitates towards loser kids too. This last girl was the straw that broke the camel’s gash. She is out of control and for some reason (*vagina*) he is desperate to spend time with her even though she is a psychopath. She sent him a video of a girl so stoned she was stumbling around a room looking for the bathroom and ended up in a bedroom closet. When I dropped him off to school this morning who did I see? The obese black girl who was the star of that video.

  71. She’ll have people over, and they’ll stay up all night but they’re usually watching movies or playing board games (she also likes to bake ’em cookies in the middle of the night).

    So … they’re not THE WORST. They’re not. On the scale – they’re probably pretty ok. But they’re not … I dunno.

    Erin’s never been the sharpest knife in the drawer academically, but she had other smarts and abilities. These kids aren’t really drawing that out of her.

  72. My dad scared everybody off. Once you got past him, you could do anything you wanted. People would drop by for supper all the time. My cousin almost lived here at one point.

  73. A cousin of mine asked about buying the Comstock land.

    If I can offload that this year as well… no, I don’t dare to hope.

  74. “Every time he got on her nerves she’d check the scalping sites and announce how much money she could make for them if she sold them”
    that’s got some good funny

  75. Annnnnnd it’s snowing.

    Stupid global warming.

  76. Paula is savage.

  77. She does possess a certain je ne sai quoi

  78. re: step-dadding
    i’ve been truly Blessed.
    My stepson has always been a great kid. i only had to talk to him once (he was getting lippy with his mom: teen thing); he never repeated it.
    He’s turned into an amazing man. he was never academically gifted (some kind of learning / reading comprehension thing), but he’s always been a hard worker and driven from a young age to be a firefighter –
    he’s living his dream.
    as a result of his drive and personality all kinds of doors have opened up for him.
    i’m very grateful with my luck of the draw and love him as my own

  79. Comstock Debacle

    it’ll work out

  80. we had a couple of inches of snow yesterday.

    cold and raining today

  81. at least the calendar says SPRING

  82. I’m sure it will. Just a question of when.

  83. Erin could be amazing. She just need to realize that she’s not limited in every way because she’s not a stellar student.

  84. And she’s got until the Fedex guy comes with the box…

  85. Found buyer for riding mower. Should be able to pay the electrician and have some to spare after.

  86. What are you planting?

  87. Happy Easter!

  88. Erin’s friends arent leading her down the wrong path, they’re sitting by the side of the path and not going anywhere?

  89. Yea. Pretty much.

  90. Some of her friends may be going down that wrong path, and she’s happy to wave at them as they go. She’s big on “not judging” people for making bad choices. How noble.

  91. Geez that bunny is scary as shit.

  92. Sounds like Erin is a caregiver. Point her in the direction of a health aide or nursing.

  93. Maybe a counselor for troubled youth.
    Though, working in a nursing home may be rewarding. Mr. B. visits his dad daily and is on first name basis with the other inmates. Some have various stages of dementia but if you humor them, it’s a happier place.

  94. Their parents loved the gift.

  95. Stop letting her hang out with losers.

    *hand clap thing

  96. Ambitionless and seeks cookies in the middle of the night?


  97. She’s 18, MJ. Exactly how do you do that?

  98. so i see the florida kids (parkland) are pissed off about the clear backpack rule –

    that little hogg fuck wants to lecture me on the 2A, gun violence, etc.etc. etc.
    the answer is simple:
    don’t shoot each other and you won’t have to deal with it –

    it’s your demographic hogg

  99. As it’s been a slow transformation. It’s not like one day she stopped hanging with her more driven friends. it’s just sorta switched.

    Her friends are *very popular* though.


    It’s frustrating. For me.

  100. — Cameron Kasky (@cameron_kasky) April 3, 2018

    This backpack is probably worth more than my life #trends#NeverAgainpic.twitter.com/sVAfRbt12R

  101. He wants people to give up their rights. He can go first and see how he likes it. Get back to me. Maybe write a paper about it.

  102. carin, if i weren’t such a pacifist, i’d recommend you take mj’s hand and staple it over his clap

  103. *praeteritio*

  104. It’s ok. I’ll have plenty of laughs at his expense in another 14 years or so.

  105. this anti bullying bullshit ——-
    direct line to major psych meltdowns

    there’s a lot to be said about beating the snot out of each other on the playground.
    it’s a pressure relief valve

    name a society, group, whatev that doesn’t get pissed off at each other once in a while – 100% chance it’s in the fiction section at the lie-berry

  106. huhn –
    active shooter at youtube hq

  107. just got a daily mail alert on phone

  108. Do they alert you for each letter or just once when the mail is delivered?

  109. First smoothie: coconut milk, natural peanut butter, stevia, xylitol, greens powder, whey isolate, cinnamon, ice and water.

    Hopefully this is just for today.

  110. We never get pissed at each other in here. See how well engineer discussions go!

  111. *slips a ghost pepper in leon’s smoothie

  112. Frustration–aggression hypothesis

  113. “Do they alert you for each letter or just once when the mail is delivered?”



  114. When I was younger, the solution to bullying was punching the bully in the nose.

    This activity was sanctioned by school administration.

  115. *throws un-rimmed slide rule at jay*

  116. See, I’m not even mad!

    *hugs Jam

  117. Man, I wish I could eat a ghost pepper right now.

  118. Jay’s a hugger!


  119. (in grandpas voice) i remember 2 of the biggest kids in the school getting in a fight by the flag pole after school – 2 windows down from the principal’s office –

    not a single admin or teacher came out – no way in hell they didn’t see it.
    they bloodied each other up and that was that –
    were friends of a sort at graduation

  120. My dentist said I had dry socket after my wisdom teeth extraction. I disagreed with him because the pain was identical to the pain I had from my cracked tooth. It’s not like I was able to actually see into my mouth or base my opinion on years of dental practice. Still seemed like a scam …

  121. HEY!!!!!
    where’s my wallet!!??

  122. Hahahaha, my lefty friends are gonna boycott news stations, because of the Sinclair video.

    Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games.

    They seriously see nothing wrong with MSNBC, yet Fox is the evil of all evils. they don’t even see what they write down.

  123. now jam knows why I’m a hugger

    *buys useless shit on amazon

  124. yep –
    dry socket

    it happens when the infection takes the hole where your tooth used to be up to Eleventy thousand degrees

  125. i hate dentists

  126. fuquers

  127. How can I boycott all of the Lefty shit?

    I don’t use maxi pads or tampons.

  128. I didn’t have a problem when I had my wisdom toofs removed. Got the right side done one week….the left the following week. Took about 20 min, including waiting for the numbing to take hold…a few seconds to pop them suckers out. Didn’t need any pain killer afterwards.
    Then I brought my teeth to school for show-n-tell. (when I taught 2nd grade).

  129. No more EZ-Wider papers man

  130. How can I boycott all of the Lefty shit?

    Suck a condom up your nose.

  131. I had dry socket when my wisdom teeth came out. Both cheeks got swollen like I had mumps. Had to have the infected tissue ablated later. Made for a pretty crappy summer, all things considered. I also had it done back when they packed the socket with gauze soaked in clove oil. Turns out that slows healing, so maybe I will be spared this time.

  132. Yeah, my dry socket “got better” when my adjacent infected, cracked tooth was removed.


  133. Mine got better after surgical excision of infected tissue and a course of antibiotics. Didn’t feel like a scam.

  134. I haven’t heard about oil of cloves being used in dentistry for decades, but now I’ve heard two nearly identical references to it in the past 24 hours.

    I recall there’s a name for this phenomenon but I don’t remember what it is.

  135. My wife’s wisdom tooth experience was so bad that she won’t let me use cloves in anything.

  136. Eugonol something something

  137. marathon man syndrome ?

  138. Hopefully Sean listens to all the good advice we’ve provided him and things go swimmingly tonight.

  139. GM didn’t fix this weeks schedule. I have crappy hours. Works for me. We went straight into Summer. Had maybe 7 days of Winter. Spring started in November. Allergies are killing me. Our hawk is back. Fixing up last years nest. So annoying.


  141. I had dry socket once and it was HORRIBLE. The cloves helped me. It was honestly magic. I didn’t need any extra stuff – just the cloves and probably antibiotics and I healed up.

  142. How long until the date?

    And how long until the after-action report?

    When do we get to interview this chicka?

  143. Clove oil is great, it was the packing of the socket that delayed closure of the wound and probably led to the eventual infection.

  144. People always bitch about Jan or February. No. It’s freakin April when I really start to lose my shit about winter.

    That sounds terrible, you poor thing. Hey, on the bright side, no mowing the lawn yet in southern canada. This the view out my window:


  145. All this dry socket talk, and not a single ‘your mom’ joke?
    It’s like I don’t even know you people.

  146. Sorry, your mom’s socket is never dry, so it didn’t occur to me.

  147. This the view out my window:
    Dude, my heart weeps for you, not being sarcastic. We had that look a week ago and in the last week have lost 80-90% of it.

  148. No skeeters.

  149. This is what I picture in my mind when I hear socket


  150. ha ha ha, he said pylon

  151. “when I hear socket”

    that thing is perfect for keeping your champagne chilled

  152. we should live blog seans date

    that way he can relive it at a more orderly pace when he calms down

  153. Anything can be a pylon.

    Nice Easter snow, more snow and gusty wind today. About a foot on the ground on top of the stuff that never melted. We just hired a gal from Texas and a dude from Venezuela at my company, they both started this week and are in snow-shock.

  154. I feel odd when I call the end of an amputee’s leg a stump.

    One mom calls her adorable 8 year old daughter’s BK limb “Stumpy”

  155. Dan calls me Stumpy so I can get used to losing limbs from being the World’s Worst Type II

  156. Sox Bruins Celtics

    Every time I look up there’s a different game on the TV

  157. Don’t forget about Reft Reg Solutions..

    Just give us a couple weeks notice.

  158. Looks like I’ll be in San Bernardino in June/July. Maybe I’ll get to meet Sean’s sweetie if he doesn’t blow it before then. We are outfitting a new Distribution Center with video surveillance, access control, intrusion and a paging system, if this one goes well we’ll get Columbus OH , Lenexa KS and Atlanta DCs too over the next year. The customer is flaky though, they are investing in security technology over automation. Good for us, but not the best long term solution in my opinion to depend on low wage workers not to steal shit because cameras everywhere.

  159. Apparently Grandpa had an infection in his toe that he didnt feel because of his type II. Then he went into the hospital for almost a week due to the medication that the put him on screwing with his potassium levels.

  160. “a new Distribution Center”


    Are we talking crack house? ‘Cause it sounds like a crack house would need security.

  161. This the view out my window:

    Looks like that here, except it’s pollen.

  162. I don’t have snow but it is miserable her.

    And, shit – who told you it was a good idea to move to Canada?

  163. God told me to move here. Well, maybe little g God. A god. Odin maybe. Something Norse.

  164. this?

  165. On a date. It’s going well. She was impressed that I brought my own clown suit.

  166. Heh, I need to design some beer labels.

  167. Sean didn’t check in today. I had helpful hints, too.

    Nothing from Something About Mary, either.

  168. “*buys useless shit on amazon”

    you know imma get blamed for that…. RIGHT?

    -3 more dozen bullwhips
    -glass psychedelic fertility symbols
    – Ma’s Maw Penis Polish™
    – pearl pasties
    – Pretty in Pink FMP’s

  169. fuquer

  170. i’m saddened that bro-cav didn’t stop by and marvel at the title

    i tried to cover the bases with it

    *wonders if it should have been more detailed*

  171. Ahhh – ite!
    Sean – you’re up
    wipe that thing off, wash your hands (with soap and water this time) and fill us in on the tacos

  172. Taco Tuesday 2: The Taconing went well. Good tacos, good conversation (shit she was going through with a coworker who went off on her, a funny work story from me, and a story I’d promised to tell her about my best friend meeting his wife), and nobody was sick. I’ve learned on both of these outings that she’s one of the few people I know who eats faster than I do, a fact that she chalks up to her half-hour lunch breaks at work. So the time zipped by much quicker than I would have liked, but it was good. Gonna see if she wants to branch out to seeing a movie sometime soon.

  173. Twinkle twinkle little star
    How I wonder where you are
    Derp I may, derp I might
    Make this derp come true tonight
    Searched all over for a love
    You’re the one I’m thinkin’ of

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS