the Wings of Beagles

I just got back from the store.




My cashier’s name tag said “Connie”.
















  1. Wakey wakey

  2. Next door neighbors rented an RV and are driving it to Florida, left a cousin in charge of Nessie the Wonder Dog’s arch-nemesis Mia the Barkingest. We thought we would have a short armistice in the fence wars, but the cousin brought her aggressive shit-zoo along to help with the house sitting.

  3. Comment by Pupster on March 24, 2018 8:01 am
    Which three clip clop?


    Dog doing an intervention on its owner from being on tech too much.

    Reading Obama’s regulations caused stocks on companies to go into the shit can so his “best friend” could come in and steal the stocks cheaply.

    Then a doggie comforting a girl who is upset over (who knows) events of the world.

  4. first tournament of the bball travel season starts today… it’s local – yeahhh!

  5. the plastic divider one is funny –
    whenever i see a really ugly dude with teh hotness the thought is wtf?

  6. lots o cash

  7. or

  8. part elephant

  9. that oblah-blah shit pisses me off

    the rethuglicans never seem to bring an A game to the table when it comes to combating the dems

    fucking pussies –

    i’m all for a tit for tat arraignment when it comes to malicious prosecution –

  10. Cousin’s oldest son was a runner as a toddler. She bought something that had two wristbands with a curly telephone cord looking thing between them.

    After he chewed through 2 of them, he got the harness….

  11. *stretches legs out*

    *fires up stogie*

    *chokes on smoke and stench*



  12. I loved the “Is he a rescue?” line. I use to think leashes on kids were terrible. Naturally, that was before I had kids. Mine didn’t need one but I think it’s prudent if your kid is a “runner.”

  13. whenever i see a really ugly dude with teh hotness the thought is wtf?

    There is a female engineer where Paul works who back in the day was a stunner (she still is, just older). Husband is an engineer, too, but he is pretty plain-looking.

    Paul asked her once about it (the man could charm the devil himself, so no offense was taken), and she told him that her husband was the only nice guy that worked up the courage to ask her out.

    Because she was so pretty, all of the non-creepazoids were too afraid to even approach her.

  14. Now can Trump tear up Michelle’s WH “kitchen garden?” She’s admitted it was all a ruse.


    She is such a c+nt.

  15. lots o cash…or….

    A really good person?

  16. I thought those leashes were kind of silly, until I saw a this one kid at a knife show. Holy crap, he would see something, go for it, and just run and hit the end of the leash, then run the other way until he hit the end. It was crazy. Poor mom looked exhausted.

  17. the rethuglicans never seem to bring an A game to the table when it comes to combating the dems

    Because guys like Turtle Turtle who are part senile and part doing the same shit.

  18. Hostage dog theater:

    Me: I’ve been trying to teach this silly dog to play fetch for 8 months, he just doesn’t get it.

    Dog: I’ve been trying to get this guy to chase me and play keep away for 8 months. He just doesn’t get it. He must not be too bright.

  19. Benny would rather play keep away or tug most of the time.

    Ricardo Grande came back today. Donny seems pleased.

  20. Hostage Community Theater presents: Can’t See Shit or Can’t Remember Shit

    Tuesday, Roamy brings in several bags of groceries. This was an Aldi’s trip, so the bags are various freebie totes.

    Roamy: This bag is Easter candy, someone check and make sure I didn’t forget and put something that needs refrigerating.

    Mini-me assists in putting groceries away. Mr. RFH stays out of the way but stands there and watches the proceedings.

    Mini-me: Oooh, an egg dye kit!

    Red tote bag of candy is left on the kitchen bar because to put it with the other desserts means it will be eaten before Easter. It is there all week. This bar is between the kitchen and the living room, so it’s not some out-of-the-way location. Mr. RFH puts daily mail next to it.

    Saturday morning

    Mr. RFH: If you give me a grocery list, I will get it when I go pick up Easter candy.

    Roamy: Is what I bought not enough?!?

    Mr. RFH: Whut?

    Roamy points to tote bag of candy not 4 feet away from Mr. RFH. This is an amazing discovery for him.

    Then I found $20, which I spent on Diet Dr Pepper for Sean’s birthday.


  21. Tucker only plays fetch on his own terms. This usually means a fair amount of tug-o-war mixed in. And a ball? Fuggetaboutit. No interest. Has to be a stick.


  23. HA, roamy! Sounds like my husband.
    I am also the finder of all things he misplaces. Geez, can’t ya learn to put things like your wallet, phone, and keys in the same place each time you empty your pockets?

  24. obama smokes cock.

  25. Aww, that poor puppy in your gif, pups.


    Word must have gone out amongst the flocks that I’ve got some good shit in my feeders.

  27. There’s one white duck that hangs out with the Canadian geese at the nearby pond. Mini-me has named him Bob.

  28. Have I mentioned to you guys how fucking crazy I am about this girl?


  30. Ducks, geese…look, the developers in these parts love water features. One of those and an undeveloped lot and I have noisy geese daily.


  32. Happy B’Day, Sean!

  33. Nice socks Mare.

  34. Beagles are like grad students: clever, but not smart.

  35. Happy BIrthday, Sean!

    Your friend gave you the perfect balloon and gift!


    Her little gift makes me happy for you!

  37. Happy Birthday Sean!

    I got you one of these:

  38. Happy Birthday Sean!

  39. This is for Leon when he gets done playing with his donkeys:

  40. Anybody ever dry rub ribs with Jerk Chicken spices? I had some jerk chicken on my trip and it was really good. Thought it might work with ribs.

  41. I keep a shaker of Weber’s Kick’N Chicken around the kitchen. I bet that would transfer over to ribs nicely. Nice flavor and heat but not too spicy.

  42. All the Weber’s Spices I’ve tried have been good.

  43. I’ve only tried jerk chicken a few times, but never really cared for it. Always just scotch bonnet heat and nothing else. Too hot – no real flavor.
    Maybe I just tried it at bad restaurants?

  44. The chicken I had was more sweet, lots of all spice and cinnamon, not much heat, just enough to make you reach for your drink. Had a couple of zombies too so maybe rum is the key.


  46. Spent the afternoon cleaning out spring. One side of it had caved in and buried the pipe. Lots of fun standing in cold, knee deep water and lifting big rocks and shovels of muck out. Finally got the inlet uncovered. Hopefully it will start flowing again. It gets an air lock sometimes so it takes a while to get going. Unlike your mom.who is always ready to go…..

  47. One of our cooks od’ed on the line today. Really glad I wasn’t there. He was new, but a nice guy and I would have never thought …

  48. 21 year old server fave him cpr for 10 minutes until ER arrived. No luck. Poor thing. She’s a sweetheart.

  49. Sad, car in.
    Back when I played league pool and hung out at the local dive bar, a customer OD’d and keeled over off his barstool.

    Sitting beside him was a nurse, but she just froze.
    Two other customers jumped up and performed CPR while the bartender called 9-11.
    He lived to smoke/snort/shoot more of his drugs, but poor Becky – I’m not sure she ever got over the guilt she felt for freezing. Knowing that she was the only trained person there she was really shaken. I guess she had never been in that position?

  50. Jesus, C arin, that’s terrible. I’m grateful that I managed to steer clear of the drugs a lot of other people I know got mixed up with.

  51. Horrible, Carin.

  52. That’s awful. Amazing effort by the young woman who tried to help

  53. Just spitballin’ here but I’d bet his usual heroin was cut with fentanyl.

  54. Pretty fricken sad.

  55. You never know what they’re doing nowadays, Jimbro. I believe that meth has eclipsed heroin as the choice around here.
    Did you know that they’re injecting that shit now? I thought they just snorted or smoked it, but nope.
    If you’ve ever seen an ingredient list, man would you be scared. And supposedly easy enough to make.
    (I’m sure YOU of all people know the score)

  56. Just spitballin’ here but I’d bet his usual heroin was cut with fentanyl.

    Yup. Seems to be the thing that takes out most of the needle users who OD these days. I wish I had no reason to know that.

  57. In lapeer it’s heroin

  58. My good friend from Zumba lost her nephew last year from heroin.

  59. IV drug user working in a kitchen? Yikes.

  60. IV drug user working in a kitchen? Yikes.

    Scary to think of, huh? That’s all over, though.

    When I learned that they shoot meth a couple years ago, it was a neighbor that climbed trees with chainsaws for a living. And yes, he was high all the time.

  61. Some of them aren’t getting high, just avoiding withdrawal.

  62. Here’s a fun thought for all of you: A huge number of the ironworkers who are putting up tall buildings in any major metropolitan area are high as fuck. Meth, mostly.

  63. Point taken, Scott.
    But my experience (admittedly anecdotal) doesn’t bear that out. I quit doing coke 30 years ago, my buddy quit smoking crack a few years later.
    We are the two people I know that quit by choice. It wasn’t tough, btw.

    The large majority of our “friends” either died (sometimes suicide), continue to this day – though barely functioning, or went to jail, only to come out and go right back to that life.

    And don’t tell me marijuana isn’t a gateway drug. It most certainly is.

  64. Sean, just imagine what the average contractor employee remodeling your bathroom is doing.
    That’s a good 50% of why I’m trying to get out of contracting. So many guys taking 20 minutes breaks every hour to snort a cap of “heron.”
    I refuse to be around it.

  65. I don’t think pot is a gateway drug.

  66. I think people who smoke pot are more likely to try other things,

  67. I think people who smoke pot are more likely to try other things,


    Your mom especially…..

  68. Wouldn’t that make pot a gateway drug?

  69. I don’t think I know anyone doing heroin or meth.

  70. I don’t think pot is a gateway drug.

    I would only argue from personal experience (again, anecdotal), but yeah, it is.
    It’s the reason I worry about Erin. I don’t care how good of a kid she is, but if she’s hanging around here drinkers at her age, who become pot smokers, she may possibly try it. And one of those friends is going to offer a line of coke – she’ll really like it if she tries in a weak moment.

    I hope and pray that is out of the realm, but it happened to me.
    And many other friends.

  71. No; the question is, are people who try pot more likely to also try other things, or does pot smoking itself make people tend to seek out other drugs?.

    If I eat a lot of strange foods, it doesn’t mean the first exotic meal I ate was a ‘gateway food.’ It could just be that I’m adventurous that way.

  72. Or does the crowd you’re hanging with help/hurt? Especially at such an impressionable age to experiment – does that have any influence?

    I think it’s nor correlative to Food, though. Sushi, for instance…

    *this discussion obviously fascinates me, btw.

  73. gateway food

  74. I worked my way up to loving eel and octopus, but I never had a craving to go back for more 4 times in one night.

  75. IV drug user working in a kitchen? Yikes.

    That’s about half the restaurant kitchens in America. Terribly common.

  76. Good point, laura.

    I don’t think pot opens up people to more drugs. But once they try it they would maybe be more open to other drugs. Seems that’s on the person, not the drug.

    Full disclosure: yes I’ve tried pot, and I liked it, somewhat. No, I haven’t done anything else.

  77. the dummies around here are cutting everything with foreign made fentanyl – habitual users to kids on a first ride are dying
    evidently the chi-coms are dumping the crap in the US – no quality control means no life expectancy…
    worse than playing russian roulette

  78. I used to smoke a lot of dope, then I grew-up. Folks that still do that are, IMHO, pretty slack and not *driven*.
    I’m not a fan…

  79. Evidently, the coke dealers in Ohio are now cutting coke with fentaynl. It seems like they are killing their customer base.
    Not a good business plan…

  80. jay’s updated avatard

  81. I drank first, then I tried weed. I liked both, and continued using both. But if I hadn’t tried weed, I don’t think I would have been open to taking LSD or ‘shrooms or ecstasy–it was like looking for a more intense headchange. But I stopped at those things, and never moved on to “hard” drugs like cocaine, opiates, or amphetamines. Never took prescription drugs that weren’t mine. And I used to congratulate myself on how easy it was to stop smoking weed, which I did more or less immediately after graduating from college, when in reality my drinking was beginning to spiral out of control at that point. Drug and alcohol abuse is a subject that everyone is still trying to understand more about, but I think it mostly stems a subtle change in a person where they go from wanting to change the way they feel to a need to change the way they feel. And when that line actually gets crossed, nobody really knows.

  82. should use Snoop, jamster.

    When I drink, at least I feel a bit “in control”. With pot, I don’t. That’s the part I don’t like. Haven’t done it in many years.

  83. Anyone else get a hijack script when they go to ace? Just happened to me, first time.

  84. It was a Windows 10 virus warning screen. With sound.

  85. this is not meant to be offensive to the dopes here (hehehe)-
    BUT, i’ve worked around a lot of potheads thru the years and i find them to invariably be tedious to be around

    really touchy fuckers when their pot supply drys up

    to each their own – i’ve enjoyed way too much alcohol thru the years and imagine i was a jackass at times also

  86. no script jay

  87. Hmm, thought I was running it, guess not.

  88. When I drink, at least I feel a bit “in control”. With pot, I don’t.

    This. I have never smoked pot, but I had a contact high at an AC/DC concert and didn’t like feeling out of control. While asthma was the main reason for not smoking, I am a bit of a control freak. I’ve seen family members do some stupid, stupid things while on drugs and while trying to get more drugs.

  89. Rocketboy is home for spring break, I had a good evening with Mini-me at an AHG event, and I am happy.

  90. Check his bags for drugs, Roamy! You never know if he’s been hanging out with Jay…

  91. Or Hippiespur.

  92. Did you have a happy birthday, sean?

  93. Can’t sleep if my life depended on it.
    In honor of tonight’s topic, I made some appetizers (more Buffalo wing nuggets), another drink, and am watching “Monkey Shines” from the 80’s.
    I kinda wish I had a joint about now.

  94. Sorry for the late reply, J’Ames, but I had a very happy birthday. I was surrounded with family and good friends, got a Diet Dr Pepper from the gal I love, and raised some money for Fisher House on Facechimp. My parents celebrated 45 years of marriage today. Even had a good night at work. And another day sober, too. I’ve been blessed beyond measure. I never thought I would live past 30, and here I am, twelve years later. Grateful for every day.

  95. Huh. Fisher House. Right at the top of my favorite charities.
    I like you even more than I did yesterday Sean.
    Great for you on all fronts, btw. I’m sincerely happy for you, and hope your good fortune continues.

  96. Thanks, chi. Try to get some sleep.

  97. Talk is cheap, my darling
    When you’re feeling right at home
    I wanna make you derp with confidence
    I wanna be with you alone

  98. Hasn’t read comments. Told new GM why I won’t spot for Fernando. He totally supported me. He’s a Texas Messican. I translated for him. He still thinks I’m Anglo

  99. oso, you have to watch Atomic Blond, just for the 80’s soundtrack

  100. There were boxes in the air that night
    You are not bright, Fernando
    They were falling down on you and me
    Unsafe you see, Fernando

  101. Happy belated birthday, Sean, I was away most of yesterday.

  102. Damn you Pupster, I’ve fallen down the Abba earwormhole!

  103. HBD Sean. I got this for you but we started talking about that poor soul who OD’d and it was too much of a topic shift to return from. Don’t worry, it’s still fresh. At least I think no one will be able to tell the difference anyway and they’ll surreptitiously dump the rest of their piece after one obligatory bite to be polite IYKWIM


  105. Not going to work, Pupster:

  106. Morning Mare.

  107. What’s for breakfast?

  108. Contractors.

    I rented a house with a bunch of sheetrockers in the late 80’s. They were making about $1500 per week, and usually broke by Monday morning.

  109. More to story – I was mislead. Waitress gave him CPR and “couldn’t bring him back”* but ems got there in time to give him narcon. I was uninformed. I’m not sure how to treat someone who’s done that.

    Still pretty shocking, and I’m super impressed by that young woman.

    *writing/expressing herself isn’t her strong suit.

  110. I vividly remember one of the cooks at my first job as one of the last American dishwashers. He was a young guy in his 20’s and coked up at work all the time. Whenever I turned to the cooking line his eyes were the size of saucers and he was moving a million miles an hour making Italian food.

  111. Holy crap. I was looking for how to give intranasal Narcan video and saw this one. The guy goes from speeding 94 mph to passing out in about 2 minutes. I’ve driven on that stretch of road before…jeezum

  112. It’s probably a good idea for the restaurant manager to keep a narcan nasal spray dose in the office.

  113. People need to find meaning in their lives. This drug stuff is horrendous.

  114. There’s genetic predispositions to addictive behaviors and to substances that hit people’s neuro receptors just right. I knew of a family whose members would all light up at the thought of going to the casino or gambling in any form. You could see them getting euphoric.

    It’s ridiculous how many people become addicts after getting opioids for just a brief time in the hospital. Have an illness or injury, get healed, but they send you home with a monkey on your back…not good. AND we need pharma to develop some better non-opioid analgesics, pronto.

    There’s a philosophical problem involved in pain management with opioids, and also a problem with those patient satisfaction surveys that affect reimbursement $. While patients focus on pain relief as an important part of their experience (of course), it’s not actually as clinically important as a lot of other things that were done for them. But because the patient satisfaction survey affects hospital reimbursement rates, docs and nurses put a lot of extra emphasis on pain management and it’s hard not to notice how much patients simply love opioids.

  115. I find first-person shooters to be better for pain relief than ibuprofen and vicodin.

  116. Having been given opioids after things, I just don’t understand how one gets addicted. I just don’t. As soon as I can switch to regular non-rx pills I always have. I save the stronger things for an emergency – but when I don’t need it I’d never take it

  117. Anybody doing yardwork today?

  118. Same here, Carin. Not that it’s happened much to me. Just a couple episodes of throwing out my back.

  119. I might cut a sapling that’s growing through the horse fence as a courtesy to the buyers, but that’ll be the Last Thing.

    Loading truck bed and horse trailer with barn stuff today to drop off tomorrow after we close.

  120. BUT, i’ve worked around a lot of potheads thru the years and i find them to invariably be tedious to be around

    Same. They don’t have a care in the world and if they do any work, there is no sense of urgency. While you fix their f*ck ups.

  121. The only pothead I’ve met and liked is Hotspur.

  122. I knew kids in grade school who were smoking weed and worse. Walked to school once with a girl who was snorting something. She was two grades behind me. (I was in 8th grade.) Found out a few years later that her parents were busted for dealing out of their house.

    I never tried any of it because 1.) I saw what it did to others. How mean it made some of them. How stupid it made others. Wanted no part of it. 2.) I had a healthy fear of dying on first try. It would be just my luck. And 3.) My dad was a cop. Another fear of getting my ass kicked.

  123. I’ve known all sorts of potheads. Many fall into the slacker sort, but others have been VERY type A who I think it helped them “calm down” just a little bit.

    I don’t know if slackers are drawn to pot, or if it’s an after affect. Perhaps a bit of both?

  124. Maybe you need to switch to 2% milk, Cap.

  125. Things a pothead never says…..

    Lets get high and go to crossfit.

  126. Scott, not crossfit, but apparently lifting and smoking pot is a thing.

  127. i don’t think hotpot inhales –
    he probably pretends to be a pothead so he can hang out with the cool kids in ann arbor

  128. i would have assumed that being a pothead was a crossfit requisite

  129. kipping is prolly for meth-heads

  130. Two of my cousins – brothers – did all sorts of drugs. One wound up with hepatitis and needed a new liver, the other took a bad cocktail of something and fried his brain. He’s been living in a group home ever since.

  131. hahahaaa – laughing at my own typo –
    hotpot = hotspot

  132. My first assignment in the Army was as company XO to a medical hold unit. Lots of soldiers with complex issues, and doctors that freely proscribed narcotics. It was frustrating. They’d get high, sit in their rooms, and not do the proscribed PT exercises. And then they wouldn’t heal quickly, so the docs would do more surgery and proscribe more meds. And if we tried to cut back on their pills, they’d complain to their congressman.

  133. the adult son of a nurse neighbor on my street was released to his mothers custody after burning out his brain –
    he walks by once in a while – total zombie – it’s sad

  134. My cousin in prison is a heroin addict. Has been for years. It’s part of the reason that he’s in prison: he like to break into houses to steal stuff to fund his habit.

  135. I rented a house with a bunch of sheetrockers in the late 80’s. They were making about $1500 per week, and usually broke by Monday morning.

    Sounds like some of the guys my dad (a framer) used to hire.

    Bad luck can happen to anyone, but it’s bad behaviors, bad habits, and bad decisions that keep people poor.

  136. After HS my drinking buddies all went to ULowell I visited a few times during the year and we’d hang out nearly every night in the summer. Cheap beer, baseball games on their parents TV room and bonfires behind a cemetery were the usual activities. After a couple of years a part of the group got into snorting cocaine. One night at a bonfire I was just plain disgusted at their behavior crowding around the coke bag in a car acting like that was the only thing that mattered to them. The next year most of them flunked out of school and enrolled in the local community college, got jobs and finished their 4 year degrees in 7 or 8 years. They’re alive and no longer druggies fortunately.

  137. ok off to tournament day deux

  138. Couple of guys I work with partake weed everyday, only one that I know of did it on the jerb. That one is hyper-active as heck, he’s a chatterbox, high-energy, good tech, hard worker, customers love him. He came back from lunch one day just reeking and I sent him home and said “no more on the clock”. I can’t imagine him without it, he’d be bouncing off the fucking walls and pretty unbearable to be around.

    I found out later that his vape rig broke so he twisted one up instead. I’m pretty sure he’s still vaping the oil he gets from a friend while he’s on the clock, no smell but I’d guess still impaired. This is a guy up on ladders and lifts, working with power tools, assembling, programming and troubleshooting electronic devices.

    The other guys I work with keep it on the downlow, but there is a certain dullness of the brain and droop to the eyes that I can see everyday. In my opinion they are just holding themselves back from being more productive and valuable members of society.

    Cokeheads can be awesome at work and hard to keep up with, but sooner rather than later they will rob you to finance that ever elusive feeling that goes farther away the more they snort.

    I’ve only worked with one meth head and he was just scary to be around when he showed up, which was not often. He didn’t last but did a lot of damage, pawned company tools, stole from job sites, and he smelled real bad.

  139. Scott, not crossfit, but apparently lifting and smoking pot is a thing
    Can confirm. I know a fair amount of people that lift pretty seriously and smoke.

    But then again its so prevalent that there’s a ________ and smoke pot for just about everything.

  140. Potheads have made some major contributions to modern society.

    Without potheads there would be no pizza delivery, backgammon, or pepperoni rolls.

  141. Prescribing narcotics is increasingly coming under fire for doctors. In the last 2 years there have been lots of initiatives that are effective. I had to attend a 3 hour class (which turned out to be pretty good) in order to continue to prescribe narcotics. My NP prescribes 99% of the narcotics for the kids after surgery just as part of the division of labor during our day to increase efficiency. I do it once in a while to keep the passwords and process in my head in case she’s ever sick on a surgery day. It is a gigantic pain in the ass to prescribe narcotics now. I am sure it’s mostly for accountability but part of me wonders if they deliberately made it tedious to cut down on narcotic prescribing.

  142. Without potheads our bong technology would be decades behind the Soviets.

  143. he walks by once in a while – total zombie – it’s sad

    That describes my cousin. Talked to him at another cousin’s funeral some years back. Has perpetual look of ‘deer in the headlights’, slurred speech, slow movements. Very subdued and childlike compared to the mean thuggish guy he used to be.

  144. Or dishwashers in restaurants

  145. Some of the NFL players say smoking weed helps them recover from the pain of the games. They’re mad at The Man from preventing them using it. They ought to start a kneel down campaign for that.

  146. Damn that Sheriff John Brown and his deputies!

  147. I used to smoke a LOT of pot as a teen/young adult. But I got tired of it and outgrew it
    Went through a spurt 10yrs ago where I smoked daily because it was free and always around (GFs brother dealt every drug you ever heard of, and some you haven’t).

    Nowadays, I’m a nerd that likes my bourbon. The strongest thing I take regularly is BC powder. Weed is maybe twice a year when a buddy comes around with it, and even then I regret it – the stuff is so powerful now, it just makes you useless. I don’t see how they do it daily.

  148. TV hat
    Steering wheel desk
    Frozen PBJ sandwiches

    Lots of important things.

  149. I made a discovery at the grocery store yesterday.

    Peeled hard boiled eggs! Only $3.49 for half a dozen.

  150. Scott, not crossfit, but apparently lifting and smoking pot is a thing.

    I’ve heard an argument that it’s a performance enhancement for powerlifting/bodybuilding. The munchies let you eat past satiety and utilize all the expensive steroids you’re on better than relying on natural appetite. I’d buy that for someone who’d otherwise be built like a rail or fence pole, but I’d never need it.

  151. My kids actually eat those frozen PB+J sandwiches

    I just don’t get it. The ingredients are in the name and are available within a 4 foot radius of the freezer.

  152. Much easier.

  153. You know who else smells bad?

    MJ and your mom.

  154. I don’t want to live in a world without potheads.

    24 hour Taco Bell
    500 varieties of cold cereal
    30 varieties of Doritos
    Ranch Dressing
    Warning labels on everything

  155. Peeled hard boiled eggs! Only $3.49 for half a dozen.

    I’ve bought those when I was on travel and trying to save money on per diem. Cheap lunch, low carb.

  156. I’m pretty sure you can get a contact high from Taco Bell’s research kitchen.

  157. I came up with what I thought was a brilliant solution to the frisbee mud bog/mud dog that is my driveway. I shoveled off a good spot on the back porch and started tossing the frisbee in the back yard for Rowan. It was all about the winning at life with no mud tracked in the house, lots of exercise tracking the frisbee through the deep snow and burning his crazy cattle dog energy. Then he discovered some animal shit near a tree when I tossed the frizz in that direction yesterday and rolled in it. Even after cleaning him off with Paula’s help he smells like a dirty dog.

  158. Hey guys! GUYS. MJ’s new neighborhood is having a Spring Festival right on the cul-de-sac!

  159. “the stuff is so powerful now”

    I bought some last year, first time in 30 years.


  160. Apparently Leon and I are the last two who’ve never smoked pot.

  161. Certainly sounds like it.

    Closest I got was an ex gf who may or may not have been smoking it when I wasn’t around.

  162. I learned that lesson at my friend’s wedding up in VT back in ’93. His hippie brother brought some of his stash from the woods of WA. Holy crap. 25 years later I can still recall wondering why I thought it was a good idea to take JUST ONE TOKE off the one hitter packed with super weed.

  163. Apparently Leon and I are the last two who’ve never smoked pot.

    But Leon’s mushrooms make up for the weed tenfold.

  164. Legal pot shops are opening up in Mass pretty soon. It will be interesting to witness the unintended consequences.

    What we saw in Colorado wasn’t good.

  165. You know that I haven’t actually done anything with mushrooms, right?

  166. That’s what you want us to think.

  167. I tried to farm chicken of the woods in some tree stumps and ate a morel that I found in the woods out back.

    I’m a total psychonaut.

  168. Comment by scott on March 25, 2018 1:41 pm
    Legal pot shops are opening up in Mass pretty soon. It will be interesting to witness the unintended consequences.

    What we saw in Colorado wasn’t good.

    Yeah, part of the reason that I was happy to leave CO, even if it meant moving to California.

  169. LePage has managed to keep the citizen initiative approved recreational pot law from being enacted for a couple of years. I’m sure whoever the next governor, Dem or GOP, will unleash it.

  170. A nutjob old man was arrested for threatening to murder US Rep Scott Taylor and his staff a day or two ago. Because of his bill to end federal criminalization of marijuana .
    Not sure if Taylor actually wants to legalize it in VA, but he wants the decision in states’ hands, not in federal hands.

  171. I did not know that, Leon. But I certainly assumed it. I have a feeling that you are not the type to enjoy them.

  172. Apparently Leon and I are the last two who’ve never smoked pot.

    Apparently some people didn’t read my above comments.

  173. I’m likely not, but I am drawn to shamanism/mystical experience stuff. Less so now than as a teenager, but I miss being able to enter altered states. I used to be able to drift into them with relative ease, but I’m either out of practice or my brain has calcified beyond the point where I can do it on my own.

  174. The neighbors, who are going through a contentious divorce, have finally come to an agreement regarding the selling of their house. First open house, today. Lots of interest. It’s a nice place.

    I’d show you on Zillow but then I’d have to kill you all. I’m getting too old for that sh*t and laura’s monkeys are all out back smoking weed. Next time I’ll put out bath salts, in their candy bowl.

  175. Btw, my FIL made it to 90 on Friday. He wasn’t supposed to do that. My BIL took him out for a ride in the car. He loves rides.

  176. MIL said the ducks hung out in the yard for a long time this morning.

    *plots to make them my friends*
    **leaves a trail of bread from the feeder to the patio**
    ***names them Franz and Sephie***

  177. Apparently some people didn’t read my above comments.




    Looks like they’re huffing their own farts.

    *nervously looks around*

  180. I stopped eating junk food – sweets and chips – for Lent. Sunday is cheat day. I just ate a pack of Lorna Doone shortbread (4 small cookies) and 3 thin mints and now I feel gross.

  181. I wonder who my MIL is talking to on the phone. She’s crying again. Not sure if it is over Pops or the amount of $$$ they’re spending for round the clock care. She thinks he’s suffering but he says he is not in any pain (oxygen levels are mostly normal and holding steady, as is his appetite).

  182. This is concerning. Where will Malia Obama be spotted toking it up this summer if she can’t go there?

  183. I recognize the male performers and none of the females. Perhaps the males are listed first because big names draw bigger crowds? And if chicks want to headline, then maybe they should produce better stuff?

  184. Or perform topless.

  185. I love Lorna Doone cookies. Now I want some.

    I read that article all the way down ’til it mentioned Coachella. I knew two name. I might have heard of Arctic Monkeys? Probably from you goofballs.

  186. For roamy, who’s probably already seen it from ten different people.


  188. Btw, my FIL made it to 90 on Friday. He wasn’t supposed to do that. My BIL took him out for a ride in the car. He loves rides.

    Did he bring him back? or just drop him off at the mall and drive away?

  189. Ooo, that’s a handsome boy right there, jimbro. I’d give him a steak for that alone.

  190. I’ve never done drugs, either. Hell, I haven’t done more than take a sip of scotch when I was a kid. I did smoke a cigar when I was 10.

  191. Guy builds a knife from aluminum foil.


    I guess you can call it Gun Porn for real

  193. Soon…

    “You should always remember safety. Low tops can be a problem if hot brass falls in, which is why I always go shooting topless!”

  194. Whose turn is it to give Pupster a flea dip and cut his nails?

  195. I like the Hogwarts one. Kind of scary how stupid these people are, though.

    And of course, they left their litter and signs all over the place for the grownups to clean up.

  196. Jeebus, Pups, calm down.

  197. The Harry Potter signs were just sad. As someone at the HQ likes to say, “Read another book. ANY other book.”

  198. oops, sorry. forgot to strip out the www part

  199. I think that chihuahua got into Laura’s meth stash.

  200. Everyone at Hogwarts carries a wand at nearly all times.

    A lethal, ranged weapon.

    Nearly all the time.

  201. Did he bring him back? or just drop him off at the mall and drive away?

    He drove him to the lake and gave him the keys to the car, duh.

    *headbutts Pepe in the snout*

  202. Everyone. Teachers. Students. Game warden. Everyone.

  203. An armed society is a polite society.

  204. This wouldn’t happen at Cabela’s, either.

    Or a shooting range.

  205. Front to Back




  206. Whose turn is it to give Pupster a flea dip and cut his nails?

    I don’t think anybody heard you, could you speak up a bit?

  207. mere moments from Stormy’s interview. Anyone having a watch party?

  208. Damn, J’Ames. Here I am stuck at work.

  209. West coast starts later, so you have time to close up.

  210. I’m sure MSNBC will simulcast it.

  211. Soon to be available in Africa: Duke 2018 Final Four shirts!

  212. I guess I should be glad we’re not facing the prospect of hearing someone describe Hillary Clinton’s dick on network television.

  213. Who is doing the skank’s interview, anyway? I thought it was CBS?
    Looking at TV guide, I see not.
    Cable? Good. I don’t even need to worry about accidentally seeing a minute until highlights hit the webs tomorrow.

  214. Workout warrior



  217. Paula worked a 12 in the ER today. PBR was in town and the ER was full of injured riders

    All the ladies were eyeing them some cowboys!

  218. Howdy Hostages!
    I am back from running the Texas Mile, down in Victoria Texas. Victoria is a really nice town, I liked it.
    I ran the mile 3x and was bumping 160mph all 3 times, but couldn’t break it.
    My niece who is 1/2 my weight did 162.3 and 163.2.
    I told her she is dyslexic and bought her a 160+ MPH club tee shirt.
    (and one fro me as well because it was my car that did it too)

  219. for (it runs in the family)

  220. Sounds like a good time, Vman. Guess you gotta slim down a little if you want to increase your speed. Maybe you could do like the wrestlers used to in high school and spit into a cup all day to make weight.

  221. Take the mirrors off and shave your head.

  222. Thank you, CoAlex, for the link. I hadn’t seen that.

  223. it was fun Sean, take out the floor mats, seats, spare tire, that will work

  224. Vomit, take all your clothes off, and remove your buttplug.

    Wait, what were we talking about

  225. Trim your toenails, amputate one arm, and do a deep-pore-cleansing facial.

    Seriously, I’m not 100% sure what this is about

  226. Remove earrings, take a laxative, and exfoliate profoundly

    please help me I am so confused

  227. He’s trying to reduce weight so his car will go faster. Your suggestions are all pure gold.

  228. VMAX! Nice to see you!

  229. He should probably remove all clothes, too.

  230. HEY! Can one buy corks somewheres not already in bottles or do I have to ask some of you winos to save your corks for me? I just found the cutest nativity craft that involves corks.

  231. That’s disgusting.

  232. Couple of quick searches yielded results at Amazon and Hobby Lobby, beasn. I’m sure other craft stores have ’em, too.

  233. That is awesome, VMax! Do we get to see pics/video?

    Out in my garage, there is a box FULL of wine bottle corks. Probably two 5 gallon buckets or more.
    How many do you need?

  234. Durrr, thanks sean. I’m surprised Hobby Lobby has them. I’ve been up and down their aisles any number of times and never noticed.

    Chi, what’s your email?

  235. Don’t laugh – it was intended to be very temporary:

    senator stinkbutt mcgillicutty@ aol. com

    (remove all spaces, of course)
    as many corks as you want are yours for the asking – just pay postage.

  236. check a homebrew store for corks too.

  237. Gee, jams. That’s just…um…thanks.

  238. *bans jam for that link

  239. Trim your toenails, amputate one arm, and do a deep-pore-cleansing facial.

    Haircut, dig all the bellybutton lint out, and 30 minutes in the sauna.

  240. This is going to go over like a fart in church,. In NC, no less:

    Ought to make for some great headlines and articles tomorrow, too.

  241. hi beasn!

  242. Senator chi, check your mcgillicutty.

    I’ll check back tomorrow. Going to call it a night.


  243. G’night, beasn. Dream of piggies.

  244. My McGillicutty is just fine, thank you very much, so cork it!
    Oh, wait…

    I shall reply to your email in a bit, then talk to you tomorrow. G’night.

  245. I’m gonna stay right here by your side
    Do my best to keep you satisfied
    Nothing in the derp can drive me away
    ‘Cause every day you’ll hear me say
    Baby I’m yours

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