Hello pigs sans blankets, welcome to Big Boob Friday.



Your model for today was born December 8th, 1987 in Atlantic City, NJ. She is a former professional dancer, current porn star with the best nickname evah…The Gingah Ninja. She’s a bigun at 5’10” tall, 40F-24-38 and 127 lbs. Please say hello to Miss Lauren Phillips!




  1. Bettie Who?

  2. AWE!!!!

  3. SOME!!!

  4. JOB

  5. PUP!!

  6. this chick is in the running for 2018….

    i can sense the ballots piling up in the back of VMax’s car right now…

  7. and VMax –
    “you drive as fast as you can for a measured mile. My Bee should go between 150 and 160. I will post the results and pics.”

    you should definitely poat that!

  8. pup – what kinda grade did you get in this class?

  9. Holy shit, her face. Her face, man. Did you even look at her face? And dead eyes.

    *rolls up a magazine and whaps Pupster on his fuzzy little snout*




    Go to your crate. No, you go to your crate now. Because you are BAD.

  10. BUTT HER FACE?!?!?!


  11. This is what happens when your creepy uncle tells you, “You could be a model, let me hook you up with a guy I know.”

  12. Right now Hotspur has people looking up his a-hole.

  13. Gastroenterologist: “Hey guys, c’mon over here! Get a load of this! You guys want copies of these pictures? I’ve been scoping assholes nearly 20 years and this is the largest collection of ass pennies I’ve ever seen!”

  14. Hotspur’s proctologist: Damn, it’s roomy in here.

  15. She’d be dazzled by stage magic done in a mediocre fashion. She’s perfect.

  16. Gatroenterologist: “Is that…is that a chardonnay bottle?”

  17. Occasionally I’ve bothered to argue with some simpleton who tried to tell me that money was the source of all our problems. Now I’ll just send them a link. M

  18. Gastroenterologist: (focuses camera; zooms in) “I’ll be damned.There’s a line of polyps that appear to be shaped like letters of the alphabet…Y…O…U…R…M…O…M…”

  19. Pendejo, could you get to the comments to that article? The page won’t load for me.

  20. I just read the article. Didn’t look to see if it had comments or not.

  21. I didn’t see comments either. But that’s a good thing. Never read comments at WaPo. Kinda like HuffPo.

  22. A ferret. That’s what she reminds me of.

  23. A pig in the desert

  24. You meant to say “Accidentially Arousing Your Mom Since 2009.”
    Much better.

  25. Holy shit, her face. Her face, man. Did you even look at her face? And dead eyes.

    Is it called “Look at Her Face Friday?”

    No, it is not.

    Is it called “Live Eyes Friday?”

    Again, no.

  26. I bet she smells like daddy issues and broken dreams…

  27. Only if those things smell like a ten days dead trout.

  28. Been listening to a lot of Breaking Ben lately, and just found that the lead singer has something called – Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome due to his past excessive drinking. Sad.

  29. I could almost make a living just doing emergency plumbing repairs on my block alone. Frozen pipes galore.

  30. basically, from my quick reading -it’s caused by a b1 vitamin deficiency because you just drink all the time and don’t eat. Also seen in people who are malnourished.

    It causes mental issues and can be degenerative – although I can’t figure out if it’s only degenerative w/o care and continued drinking. he’s been sober for a few years now. It took them a couple of years to figure out what was wrong with him, and I don’t think he still admits it publicly.

  31. “FRozen pipes”.

    That’s what the kids are calling it now -a-days?

  32. Meh. Lonely old ladies need lovin’ too. At least they don’t look like red-headed weasels.
    Although, you could call one or two of them polecats…

  33. I learned about WKS a long time ago. All I remember is it’s a B vitamin deficiency and when drunks come to the ER they get a banana bag of IV fluid.

    This guy questions the conventional wisdom of hanging a banana bag

    I question the expense of testing every alcoholic who visits the ER for vitamin levels versus just administering the vitamins

    People with WKS often show confabulation, spontaneous confabulation being seen more frequently than provoked confabulation

    Sounds like our blog has WKS


  35. Did you just call us fabulous?

  36. I’m a pretty consistent drinker. I don’t really get drunk so much as I like my drink.
    I wonder if I’ll develop WKS? or if I have it now, would I know? Doesn’t sound fun.

  37. No harm in adding a multivitamin to your routine.

    And some burpees and wall balls.

  38. Fabulous?

    No, still transitioning!

  39. It does sound like it sucks. But it also sounds like it’s a deal for those who are serious alcoholics and skip dinner for that beer or whatever. Pictures of the singer from 13 years ago – he’s a tall skinny dude.

    It’s sad because he’s young and he’s had a few years. I think he’s 38 or so.

  40. Multivitamin. Is that like Blendedscotch?

  41. Got a call from Employee Health yesterday. We were exposed to a kid with pertussis 11 days ago. Prophylactic antibiotics were offered ( a Z-Pack ). I picked mine up today but I’m really on the fence about it. I’ve been immunized as a kid, got the combination vaccination a few years ago when I had a finger laceration from cutting it on some metal in the garage and I swear I had whooping cough about 15 years ago. I was coughing my guts out for weeks, bad enough that I had to leave patient rooms because of coughing. It was never diagnosed as such but I gotta believe it was it. So, what I’m saying is, I should be whooping by now if I got a good dose of the bug.

  42. My favorite routine blended scotch is Famous Grouse. Not too smokey.

  43. Fortifiedscotch.

  44. I tried scotch and fine cigars a dozen or so years ago because I thought it was sophisticated and cool. Scotch ain’t my bag – I’ll stick with bourbon, thank you.
    I still love me a nice Montechristo, though. Usually on Sunday nights when I watch Columbo on MeTV.

  45. Prophylactic antibiotics were offered

    lubricated condoms?

  46. Nice boobs, but I gotta go with lauraw on this one. That face is a shithole.

  47. How much does it cost to pull a titer? I’d get tested if it wasn’t too expensive. Antibiotics are pure Hell on the body if you don’t really need them.

  48. Really not sure on the titer cost. When they told me the kid I remembered he looked like crap and I suggested they go to the ER after our visit. 10 days later I heard the word. When they notified me all I could picture was all the newborns I’ve casted for clubfeet in the time between that visit and yesterday. So my first instinct was, yeah, take them for safety’s sake. My nurse and I have talked about it more since yesterday and I’m leaning toward keeping them in the closet for a rainy day.

  49. I googled this skank and it’s kinda hard to find her in a picture with any clothing on. Pupster has to work a little to meet H2 standards.

  50. googleskank…

  51. I saw googleskank open for pussy riot at the Orpheum in ’02.

  52. GoogleSkank…..definition:

  53. Rymes with Hubastank

  54. I think Hubastank was one of those Angry Cats Fucking In A Closet music groups. Ask car in.

  55. Car in got fired?

  56. I’ve seen livelier eyes on three-day-old roadkill.

  57. WTF? I turned my neighbor’s water off at 1100 this morning. Been waiting for the son to get back home to go buy a few parts since he left at 1130 – I don’t want to leave her water off all night, but it doesn’t seem like they care as much as I do…
    Do I go buy the parts myself and gamble on getting repaid? Or do I just make a drink and NGAF?

  58. Buy the parts, fix it but leave one valve a little leaky. If they don’t pay you back you can extract your revenge one drop at a time. It’s a variation on the ass penny scheme.

  59. if they were supposed to buy the parts, wait for them.

  60. I vote drink and NGAF.

  61. Allow me to ammend my position…

    I vote have a hit of weed and NGAF… that alcohol is bad for ya.

  62. I decided to say F it & go the WKS route Jimbro. If they don’t care, I shouldn’t. She has four toilets in that house anyway.
    Has my number and lives close enough to come ask for help this morning when water was shooting everywhere, but if they arent going to, I ain’t sweating it.

  63. Howdy, y’all. Frost this AM; 66 degrees in Orlando now. We were just at Wal-Mart getting snacks and a rat ran from one side of the parking lot shrubbery to the other. Dan noticed the movement, thought squirrel. I knew it was a rat, because I’d already seen Lauraw’s rodent face comment. 😜

  64. Troy
    If I had weed, I would. That is a VERY rare thing for me these days.
    (The shit you kids are smoking these days is flat-out cray cray)

  65. Alright, Fuck ’em!

  66. Just eat a tide pod.

  67. Maetenloch sent this in an email: couple kids rob a store with fake gun and get shot by a rather remarkable security guard.

    I love it. “It’s fake! It’s fake!”

    “Oh well, MINE is real.”

  68. Like Captain Quint said in Jaws, she has dead eyes, like a doll’s eyes.
    But I’d still hit it like Buddy Rich’s bass drum pedal..

  69. I googled this skank and it’s kinda hard to find her in a picture with any clothing on. Pupster has to work a little to meet H2 standards.

    Don’t forget to wipe your cache.

  70. Like, with a cloth?

  71. This wouldn’t happen in Minneapolis.

    (Nobody is happy to get here.)

  72. I wish I were a kid ( I remember when weed was measured by number of fingers across the bag) but I agree, compared to old school the modern weed is off the charts. One inhalation is all I need to meet my medicinal needs. Back in the day, bong hits (plural) were needed.

  73. Like, with a cloth?

    I believe an old sock is traditional.


    Nice umlauts.

  75. Oso, please don’t share any of my personal characteristics info on twitter, no matter how vague it may seem! I know, it doesn’t make sense and I’m weird. Please roll with it.

  76. Met today with County Health and Safety. Traditional mound is probably out, but there were a number of other options short of full-on engineered system that should pass the appeals board. I need to call the department of environmental quality on Monday to ask about our planned driveway as well.

  77. This wouldn’t happen in Minneapolis.

    (Nobody is happy to get here.)

    I understand that there’s a couple a hundred thousand Somalis who feel like it’s an upgrade.

  78. Lauraw, I deleted. Sorry. Hope the delete took

  79. fanks

  80. Velveeta & Rotel on the StoveTop now.
    I bet without thinking about ot too hard, I can skip the burritos altogether and just have chips & dip for dinner.

  81. Hotspur cleaned his cache yesterday.

  82. What the fuck is this shit.

  83. I wonder if Hotspur is laying in the prone position with an ice pack on his bunghole sipping chardonnay

  84. Is it called “Look at Her Face Friday?”
    No, it is not.

    Is it called “Live Eyes Friday?”
    Again, no.

    Geoff understands my torturous genius.

  85. FIL takes 2 different inhalers and is supposed to do breathing treatments up to 4 x daily.
    He started sounding watery again. The husband, who fills his weekly med dispenser forgot to check on the inhalers and whatever is put in his breathing contraption. He’s only been taking one inhaler. When asked, he said he was told not to take the other inhaler for blah blah blah. Okay, who told you that? He says insurance wrote him and told him that but we haven’t seen any such thing.
    X-ray shows he has the beginnings of pneumonia. So back to the pharmacy we go.

    Um, Mr. B, we are now his caregivers. We have to monitor all of this stuff.

    He’s driving my MIL crazy. She says he sits around all day and thinks of only one thing — death. The more he sits, the harder it is for him to move, the worse he feels. She says she knows it’s coming but puts it out of her mind and plans out what she needs to do for the day. He sits and grumps because he can’t come and go like he used to, then drinks a bottle of Miralax and shits his pants. Then she has to clean up after him, which makes her cry. SIL thinks she needs to lay off and quit her bitchin. I say she’s 89 and shouldn’t have to clean up after a guy who refuses, out of stubbornness, to quit drinking more laxative when the first dose doesn’t work fast enough for him and to sit down to pee, instead of pissing all over everything and having her clean it up.

    I look at Mr. Beasn and ask him if he is learning from this.

  86. Free ice cream is nice and all, but would it fucking kill you to put a cherry on top?

  87. That most assuredly was not directed toward you, Beasn.

  88. MIL should have trained him years ago to quit being a farm animal a long time ago. He’s not a bad man but I don’t think he’s ever put himself in her shoes or given it a thought, especially now that they’re old, what he could do to lighten her work load as it relates to his ‘habits’.

  89. I didn’t take it that way, Sean. I would gladly put whatever you wanted on your ice cream.

  90. Hot fudge.

  91. Warm chocolate pudding.

  92. The chocolate-dipped stuff that hardens on contact ….your whore mouths need shutting.

  93. A semi-attractive face.

  94. Beasn, Mr Beasn should appreciate everything you do. I’m glad that after having custody of my dad, my bro gets my mom. He deserves her.


  96. I would gladly put whatever you wanted on your ice cream.

    More ice cream.

  97. Donnie Two Scoops

  98. Pups, you don’t know. You don’t even know…

  99. Dan is so insular. He’s beyond parody. Every Brazilian school group has infiltrated Orlando. Dan thinks all SA non-Americans have horse face inability to queue up and chew gum syndrome.

  100. Americans don’t know what that means.

  101. What tortured genius? You like big tits and have low standards…

  102. Scott it is aggravating. SA have a “Look”. Goya. Monied Brazilian have the same look. They do not understand America and first come first served

  103. Dan gets irritated by feral children. Add in entitled foreigners. Dan is a mess when it comes to Orlando and traffic. NM Dan knows that road rage gets you killed. FL Dan feels free to honk, throw the bird, and call every driver the “C” word

  104. Courteous?

  105. * nods and smiles *


  107. Love you guys

  108. We used to be February WDW people. Blah blah blah Fiscal year vacation blah blah. Who knew Brasilia was January? Very few Celts and pasty down unders. Next month.

  109. Dan is so Dan, he doesn’t even look at SA booty. He’s all about feral children and line jumping. When his OCD meets my OCD. 28 years in May

  110. Oso, Mr. Beasn does a lot for his parents. He does most of the work when it comes to his dad as far as taking him to doctor appts, picking him up off the floor, cleaning up spilled piss bottles in the middle of the night. Taking them for rides and maybe ice cream. He’s a good son.
    I do haircuts, run to pharmacy, help her with shopping, cook some meals (which will become more frequent), take them to blood draws.

    It’s just that he’s not 100% when it comes to realizing Pops isn’t 100% anymore. Good chance had we monitored ALL the meds, and made him do his breathing treatments, the pneumonia wouldn’t have taken hold. Or maybe not. He’ll be 90 in March and seems to have a death wish.

    He had to do a swallow test today, too. Which he passed. He says he has trouble swallowing or the food comes back up. If you watch him eat, he shovels the food in like it’s going to run off his plate (like he has always done) BUT, he sits hunched with his chin nearly on his chest. Pretty sure that doesn’t help anything go down. Over Christmas, my daughter* had him take sips of water between bites, which she had to tell him to chew before shoving in any more, and he kept it all down.

    *part of her profession

  111. My friend lives in the city, where Bosnians and now Mexicans all settled. Drives her crazy to go to church and all the messican chirrens are running all over the place during mass. Playing and screaming. But without Mexicans, the church would have probably been shut down.

  112. Beasn, y’all are Saints. Saints. We passed MIL to High Desert Hospice. They were awesome. Dan provided more care for my dad than my siblings. He was always there for both of his parents.

  113. Mini-me live-blogged the youth rally and the March for Life by text for me until the battery on her phone ran out. It sounded like it was a pretty incredible experience.

    In other news, Doug Jones voted for the CR? Maybe he’s not kamikaze for the Dems after all.

  114. Roamy, what did she think of DJT? We watched his speech at the Hall of Presidents. Awesome. We laughed at the “undercover” lawdogs at the Hall. Almost as obvious as the law dogs at Disney Springs.

  115. Trump crushed it today. That was a yuge, historic win by any measure.

  116. Heard a theory that they are trying to have the FBI/DOJ corruption investigation reveals build toward the State of the Union address.

    Wouldn’t it be great if they invited those responsible to the address, and arrested them right there? I can just picture Trump at the lectern instructing Marshals to take them into custody. Ah, dare to dream…….

  117. She liked DJT’s speech and also Paul Ryan’s. Lots of bishops, priests, and nuns. Her group was in front of the Dominican nuns from Nashville.

  118. I saw The Dominican Nuns From Nashville open for The Jesus And Mary Chain at The Cathedral in ’99.

  119. I liked the Dominican Nuns From Nashville’s older stuff. You know, before they got into the whole techno thing. Ugh.

  120. It would make a great name for a Christian based country act. I picture them looking and sounding like Underhill Rose, only wearing habits, and maybe having an edgier, rock sound.

    (Underhill Rose is a real band, fronted by the daughter of Roy Underhill offThe Woodwright’s Shop fame. Good stuff if you’re into a bluegrass/country/rock thing. Check ’em out on YouTube)

  121. Should I still check them out on YouTube if I’m not into a bluegrass/country/rock thing?

  122. Are you into hot chicks in sun dresses playing acoustic instruments?

  123. So, did the GOP shut down the government yet tonight ?
    I stopped reading news over an hour ago.

  124. I dunno, man. I actually died after the tax bill passed. You’re just chatting with my ghost here.

  125. She may not be the best lookin’ woman
    I ever did see
    Nor have the charms of the ladies
    Of high society
    But the woman’s got soul
    Worth all money and gold
    And all the derp that I have belongs
    To the woman with soul


    I watched a few of their videos on youtube. I’m sold. I love the alt-country/no depression/Americana/whatever you want to call it sound.

    Good tip Chi

  127. Ugh, Paula is at work which means I’ve been up since 5 and out of bed since 5:45. She was so wound up after working all day yesterday and couldn’t wind down for hours so we got to sleep late. There’s so much wrong with the organization of her work place. She is a savvy nurse who can recognize when someone needs help fast and she is frequently the triage nurse as a result. They get so backed up with patients that it creates unsafe conditions and they rarely go on diversion (close the ER to outside transfers and only take trauma codes, pediatric codes or women in active labor).


  129. Potential BBF candidate if she hasn’t graced this shithole with her vivid sparkling eyes before

    Tasteful, close to but not entirely, nude photo displaying her moneymakers at the following link

  130. The coffee is gone and the boys are sound asleep upstairs. It’s me and the sleeping dogs watching Mike Lindell hawking the incredible 2 for 1 deal on his MyPillow made in his home state of Minnesota.

    At least I have my Happy Light

  131. I hope Hotspur saw this video before he dropped his pants for the scope

  132. She seems nice.

  133. what j’bro said chi-chi….

  134. I’ve been up since 0330 central and have only consumed one pot of coffee myself, Jimbro.
    I’ve been amusing myself by trolling Nessie the Wonderdog, waiting until she is as far away from me as possible before closing the laptop and getting out of my chair. Those sounds are triggers for her to propel herself at break-neck speed toward the back sliding door.

  135. hotspur is prolly smoking a joint and basking in the afterglow….

  136. Today I get to make up for taking yesterday off (though I was on the phone for several hours trying to help them through the delayed-then-on-again-but-remote deployment that I’d tried to schedule my day off around). I should do the dishes and maybe go kick some molehills later.

  137. Look I know you are not pro-circumcision, but that sounds anti-semitic.

  138. I really need to watch some golf or murder mystery shows today. I’m sick of hearing about the shutdown and I’m at the point where if I hear any more speculation about Tom Brady’s hand I’m gonna put a 9mm Parabellum round through the TV


  140. HAHAHAHAAA, wow Pups. That’s effed up. I love the look at the end. “Hey, aren’t you coming?”

  141. New poat.

  142. Actual molehills, with subterranean rodentia.

    Different sort of pogrom.

  143. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]

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