Gallimaufry Thursday

Fancy word for a hodgepodge that I’ve never heard before but describes this poat to a “T”. The Oprah made a brave and historic speech the other night at the Golden Globes. At least that’s what every liberal commentator in the MSM is claiming. It’s almost time for the liberal pollsters to tell us her overwhelming odds of victory.


Bitch, please … this is the OG PH (Isn’t that right Choomster?)


The NoFapPatrol knows where you are at all times


This is how I feel when you guys talk about different types of felt


Honey, you seem a little distracted. How was work?


Having a rough week huh?


More than ready for this week to be over. Another sort of easy Thursday with a weird/busy Friday. I’m feeling the early effects of my partner’s impending departure at work. He’s mentally checked out and is mostly working to fulfill his obligations. I don’t blame him, just tough to see a valued colleague go. He’s way smarter than me and a valuable resource. Going to be hard to replace.



  1. alright doctor strange glove – some of this poot is raff inducing…
    you get five of these this week

  2. if you like ice skating just come to central Iowa today.

  3. I orderer a copy of A Christmas Carol before Christmas and it arrived yesterday

  4. When i looked on TCM i had missed a showing of it and the next one was a 2 AM showing. No thanks!

  5. Or, we could make welfare less cushy, so it’s not an alternative to getting off your ass and working…

    This. Stricter limits on what you can buy at the grocery store. What type of store it can be used at. And I’m all for “free” clinics where they have to sit and wait and wait for non-emergency care.

  6. I liked Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Carrey is better when he’s not being wackey. That is actually one of my favorite movies.

  7. Gov LePage has instituted some welfare reforms in ME but apparently the Dems feel that allowing welfare recipients to buy potato chips and sodas is their hill to die on.

  8. Good morning!

    Don’t forget to exercise today if you skipped it yesterday! Download the 7-minute workout app onto your phone and you can squeeze in a HIIT workout virtually anywhere.

    I’m gonna do a pilates video today. Really enjoying the core exercises and getting more mobility for my back/ shoulders. It’s amazing how fast that part happens, even if I’m still a hideous bog beast in most other respects.

    I have a ton of little niggling odds and ends to sweep up and do around the house. Then I’m getting together with some old work friends. It’s gonna be a nice day, even though its grey outside.

    Whose turn is it to throw a bucket of wet BBs down Jay’s driveway?


    His 2nd term ends this year. There are a lot of candidates from both sides who have announced their desire to replace him. Somehow I think a TaxAndSpend Lib will replace him and erase all his gains.

  10. I enjoyed Once Bitten, but that likely had more to do with the subject matter and the age at which I saw it.

  11. That’s such an inspiring article, Jimbro. Connecticut’s retard-governor probably hates that guy with a passion.

  12. Its 60 degrees so Global Warming™ will be front and center for 24 hours.

    Then when its cold, everyone will be scolded for confusing weather and climate.

    *fucking eyeroll*

  13. Yeah, yesterday we had 6″ of snow. 20 hours above freezing with a light, misty rain and I’ve got a lawn again.

  14. I don’t own a shovel. Apparently we’re going to get snow this weekend or Monday.

  15. Time to get a shovel. You can leave it for the new homeowner or save it for boy messes at the new place.

  16. I ordered one yesterday. Fuck this shit. And that shit too.

    I work in IMS now. Ho Lee Furk the people are weird. 50% are on the spectrum.

  17. Looks like we’re done with the bitter cold here, but we’re going to flirt with the freezing point for most of the month. I should get some taps and see if I can get maple sap.

  18. Mmmmmm. Taps.

    I heard an impassioned interview on NPR yesterday about how terrible it is that there are so many deaths related to IV drug use. I can see how that’s awful.

    The proposed solution was to create a place where drug users can shoot up without fear of arrest and with plenty of access to medical care.

    For real. This happened.

    The argument was that it could be your kid and wouldn’t you want them to be in a safe place to overdose.


  19. What is IMS?

  20. FUDGE Oprah, the hypocritical, phony POS.

  21. INS = Inertial Navigation System

  22. you’re a spectrum

    *slips and falls

  23. Just so y’all know, I have taken numerous online tests and I’m totes neurotypical. I don’t think I always have been, though. I suspect I’d have been diagnosed aspie in high school, at least by today’s standards.

    But I’m normal. Srsly.

  24. Normal.

    Ok then.

  25. Me thinks you doth protest to much.

  26. “too much”

  27. IMS = IT

    I got reassigned when my boss got shit canned for being a profligate whore.

    I’m >< this close to finalizing a much better position in Atlanta. So see ya fuckers. The move to IN was a huge mistake. Maybe it'll seem different in a few years but now this is the biggest mistake of my career.

    The people at this company are dumber than any people I've worked with, including behind the bar.

  28. I took a Minnesota Multi Phasic Personality test that said I was slightly paranoid with anti social tendencies.

    Security Company that was offering the position was like “Come on in!”

    Some times it pays to not be normal

  29. As we’ve learned, autism is weaponizable.

  30. Good point.

  31. I’ve only taken the autism spectrum ones, I’m sure the multiphasic would find something. Myers-Briggs says I’m ISTJ, which is rare on its own.

  32. Done with cold? We’re getting a HIGH of 15 tomorrow. It’s 51 now.

  33. I have to clean out my chicken coop today while it’s nice. Relatively nice. It’s dreary out.

  34. I see we’re still doing Xmas avatars.

    *consults H2 style guide

  35. With bitter cold, like below zero shit. Gonna be 7F here Saturday night, so we’ll probably bring the minis into the barn for that.

  36. *flip flip*

    Handbook says she’s got until Groundhog Day, and then however long Groundhog Day lasts.

  37. No way I’m taking a psych evaluation test. I’m pretty sure the results would set off alarms.

  38. I was watching Oprah review one of her book club choices, some book by a female fiction writer, she said, “ it’s so completely unpredictable!” So, like a dumbass I bought the book, first 5 pages, me thinking: Oh, he’s screwing around that’s why he doesn’t want her there.

    COMPLETELY predictable and stupid. Uffffffffff

    Oprah interviewing Kim Kardashian::

    (paraphrased) Kim Kardashian: I just decided not to let what people think bother me! (I actually don’t remember what she said but it was basic and really stupid and Oprah, I crap you not says…)

    Oprah: That is so brilliant!!

  39. MJ, if you weren’t such a part timer, you’d know my Christmas avatard stays up until Pat lets me take the tree down.

  40. Oprah is a shallow thinker who’s had smoke blown up her ass all her life.

  41. I sincerely think Oprah’s friends, etc., are so mediocre she thinks that kind of pseudo think crappola is intelligent.

  42. The withering intellect of Joe Biden would overwhelm her.

  43. I am trying to wrap my brain around the net wealth of Bezos.

    It’s hard to understand $106 billion.

    2% interest would generate $6 million per day.

  44. And that video of Oprah saying old white people have to die off to make real change, well, dummy, I’d like to see 3rd generational welfare sucks die off, you know, to really make a change.

  45. His wealth is largely stock, though, isn’t it? It’s not like he can cash out.

  46. “As we’ve learned, autism is weaponizable.”

    I used to teach Police level martial arts. Early on in each class I would introduce this concept, “I am the weapon, everything else is just a tool.”

  47. Who the hell is Pat?

  48. My BFFs dad was Oprah’s private pilot.

    She’d never really run for President. Total Diva.

  49. I don’t know much about Oprah because I’ve never watched her. I know she used to recommend some books and probably got paid under the table by the authors or publishers, or both.

    What I do know about her is the people I’ve talked to that think she’s great, which is really all I need to know – basically the reason I’ve never watched her.

    She’s a cow.

  50. She thinks “The Secret” is a real thing.

  51. Somebody gave us The Secret for Christmas about ten years ago. I made it through about ten minutes.

    It’s crap.

  52. But hey, if she runs, the dems and the media can call us racist and sexist.

    Oh wait…

  53. It’s fucking New Age sorcery. Think and Grow Rich boiled down to esoteric woo-woo.

  54. Oprah: I think maybe I’ll run for President.

    God: Here’s a mudslide for your house.

    Oprah’s Girlfriend: Oprah’s not really thinking about running for President.

  55. Oprah is a big fat fake. When she can control all aspects of interaction with the public it works. Politics…Obama got away with it, but Trump would shred her like a cardboard tube in a gerbil cage. She’s not stupid. She has to know that. She’s ultimately more powerful as a cultural figure than a political figure.

  56. Oprah is full of pseudo religious gibberish. Your “friends” who think “she’s great” are not very discerning. That’s fine. But let’s not elect her President because you’re a dumbass.

    Not you, Hotspur, your stupid liberal friends.

  57. That’s what I meant. I judge her by my friends’ reaction to her.

    Same thing with Dr. Phil. I never watched him because the same friends thought he was great.

    Which essentially told me that he is an asshole.

  58. Anyone who can listen to Maya Angelou speaking her poems for more than 30 seconds is a more patient person than I. Ufffffffffff. Another smug, downtrodden rich person speaking her truth to power. Hahhhhaaahhha

    Must be a “cultural” thing.

  59. Only in America can an unattractive, blithering dipshit become a billionaire.

  60. Ahhhhhh, gotcha.

  61. Mare loves Leon. Hahhhaaahhh

  62. But we are racist and sexist, Leon! She can’t get ahead in this hell hole called America!

  63. I read one book that was in Oprah’s book club I think: The Road. It got praise from other circles so I figured it would be okay. And it was but the actual plot and setting was a little disturbing for reasons other than Oprah.

  64. She proves what bullshit that is by her existence, how can anyone miss that? All she had to do was act white* and her life took off like a rocket.

    *drop ghetto slang/accent, pay bills, don’t get knocked up while unmarried, don’t do/sell drugs, brush teeth, etc.

  65. Good grief, has the Onion really been around since 1997?

    MJ, get the hell out of that fucking job you hate. Before you know it you’ll be 68 and you’ll regret the wasted time.

  66. And I’m not being racist, all that crap is what black racists would describe as “acting white”. By God I wish more white people would act white if that were the case. And black. And pretty much everybody.

  67. Quit naming your kids after your Scrabble tile holder.

  68. Yeah, I think I read that in an actual newsprint copy of The Onion back in the day. The whole book club thing was a lot bigger back then for the Oprah. Whenever I hear Oprah book club I immediately think of Oprah’s Contraceptive Club.

  69. I named your mom’s Scrabble slot.

  70. Another post-apocalyptic book I read made it to her list. Thankfully I only saw it on the inner pages.

    It’s a good book. Unfortunately, the dog dies about 2/3 of the way through

  71. Aw, stealth correction!

  72. MJ, get the hell out of that fucking job you hate. Before you know it you’ll be 68 and you’ll regret the wasted time.
    On my way! Two years was def enough of this bullshit.

  73. Good man.

    Next month I will have been in business for 34 years, and I have not a single regret.

  74. Well, I’ve had a few assholes as clients. But usually you find out too late.

  75. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with the current client, can’t wait.

  76. Five more months. Hopefully, the classes I’m taking now will help me get another job somewhere else and I can get out of this state.

  77. If I can help at all with Java, let me know.

  78. Will do. Right now it’s the basics that I already know, and since I have programming experience it’s all familiar.

  79. I think I’m going to be spending Saturday writing a Splunk plugin.

  80. I’m going to spend Saturday afternoon in the forge, hopefully.

  81. Oprah did get knocked up at 14. Baby died before birth.

    Oprah had a lot of help by a rich white guy to get where she got. She introduced him once.

    Knew a guy from Chicago who used to work for her. Said she was a pig. She bullies the underlings and delighted in getting on elevators with people and farting. They’re gagging, she laughs. Everyone too scared to call her the pig she is.

  82. When I think of Oprah, I think ‘big, fat, racist, hen’. She’s a gossip queen. Turned her off back YEARS ago…early 90s?….when she accused white slavemasters of teaching blacks how to abuse their children via the whip. It was a show on child abuse. And you know, I’m pretty sure blacks were whipping their kids way before whitey showed up and bought them from other blacks that didn’t like their tribe.

  83. This. Stricter limits on what you can buy at the grocery store. What type of store it can be used at.

    The grocery lobby is HYUGE! No way do they want to give up that EBT on cookies, chips, and soda. They lobbied hard to shut anyone down trying to propose that.
    Mooch could have done a lot of good had she directed her fat pie hole at them. When she didn’t, it told me she wasn’t serious.

  84. The problem is that if you restrict food, they’ll simply resell it in the parking lot for fifty cents on the dollar. See: pallets of soda in Appalachia.

  85. WIC has restrictions.

  86. Tide is a good barter item too. There’s no welfare program that can’t and won’t be abused by some fraction of the recipients.

  87. Oh look, McCain lives up to the nic his captors gave him.

    Fusion GPS admits they used McCain to pass the dossier to obama intel goons.

    But we knew this.

  88. McCain kilt it. F*cker.

  89. Some WIC/food stamp restrictions are just plain stoopid.
    One example: you can buy all the filet mignon and lobster tail you want, but you can’t go to the deli to get sliced lunch meat.

  90. Dentist in 50 minutes.

  91. PT at 3 – but have to leave in 15 to get there in time.

  92. 55º

  93. Welcome to my neighborhood. Yesterday was horrid. Today’s not much better.

  94. HABOOB!!

  95. That sucks, man. What do you do? Just hunker indoors?

  96. Yeah, pretty much.

  97. I hunker indoors with your mom.

  98. Why do people humor the asshole Jorge Ramos by calling him Whore Hey? Call him George. And fuck him.

  99. Since I’m avoiding posting at the HQ, I’ll leave this here.

    Trump 2020: He may be an asshole, but I’ve got a job!

  100. And tell him to get rid of his fucking accent. It’s annoying.

  101. I’m thoroughly interested in Hotspur’s newsletter.

  102. I always pronounced it Whore-Gay…

  103. Even though this place is stupid, it’s funny!

  104. Who changed the comment header? Lolol

  105. Some WIC/food stamp restrictions are just plain stoopid.
    One example: you can buy all the filet mignon and lobster tail you want, but you can’t go to the deli to get sliced lunch meat.

    That is EBT. I think they changed rotisserie chicken. Couldn’t get it before, now they can. Prolly should ask Oso for sure.

    Not sure WIC can get lobster tails.

    Off to PT. Weather is changing as I type. Was 60 degrees an hour ago. When I get out of PT, it should be high 30s.

  106. Concerning the Comment Header: I’ma take a Zero on that assignment.

    Lets just claim that she’s J’Ames’ mom and let Hotspur take the lead.

  107. No thanks. I’ve made it this far in life without getting dosed up with the clap.

  108. Absolutely beautiful sunset this evening. It’s cast a wonderful pink and purple glow over everything and reflecting off of what’s left of the snow.

  109. Well, we now know how Trump feels about certain shithole countries.

    Wonder how he feels about shithole blogs?

  110. He must like them, because he lurks here a lot.

  111. I wonder how many bullwhips he has shoved up his ass.

  112. I get nice sunsets at camp in the summer.

    This house is filled with light early on for sunrises. There is a nice effect on the far riverbank, which is a steep wooded hill, where it lights up for one last time as the sun gets ready to set. Sort of breathtaking no matter how many times you see it.

  113. Hmm, maybe a Melania BBF would let us ask him.

  114. I don’t speak jive.

  115. Just saw a feature on this on the local news

    (Scott will like the bottles on the bar)

    What I found fascinating is the guy building it claims he has a crew of 10 working 4 days to build it. Even at minimum wage that’s a pricey build. The Samoset is an hour south of me and I’m there at least once a year for some conference or another. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around the price of this ice bar versus the revenue they might take in. The Midcoast is deserted in the winter. Tourists go to the ski resorts this time of year. Loss leader?


  117. That really is an attractive women. Got just enough trashy to be good looking but not all pretentious and hoity toity.

    Plus, she has great titties!


  119. I wonder how many bullwhips he has shoved up his ass.

    I bet they’re gold-plated and luxurious.

  120. After 8 years of Mooch, I still can’t believe Melania is our First Lady. What did w do to deserve all this winning?

  121. Fabulous bullwhips. Just the best. Corinthian leather made by 2 Corinthians. Believe me.

  122. SNAP covers prepped but not cooked. No rotisserie chicken in NM. T ake & Bake pizzas ok, cooked pizzas nope.

  123. I saw a commercial for a frozen pizza that comes in a pan. That may be good for you oso.

  124. Hahahah, Trump and Bill Clinton are the same age, and yet, Trump has Melania and Clinton has…..

  125. SNAP covers prepped but not cooked. No rotisserie chicken in NM. T ake & Bake pizzas ok, cooked pizzas nope.

    Places in Detroit get around that by the “you buy, we fry” policy. You’re only buying the food product … it is cooked for you for free.


    They are everywhere.

  126. 1 and a 1/2 times!!! I only left the cardboard in 1 and a 1/2 times!!!! The 1/2 was because I was so mad at Dan for reminding me to remove the cardboard and plastic. I NEVER LEFT PLASTIC!!!!


  128. cool. It’s raining now.

  129. Car in, our old GM nearly cost our Club SNAP eligibility by cooking Take & Bakes at cafe after purchase.


  131. *Dick Van Dyke theme song starts*

  132. We’ve actually shopped at a few of the Clubs that closed. I totally understand 3 of the 5 AZ Clubs. We’re getting a bonus in addition to our Sam’s Share.

  133. SNAP, WIC, EBT… why are there so many different “programs?” I honestly don’t know which my ex was on. But she would fill up 2 carts with frozen prepared crap for her kids and junk food & Pepsi for herself.
    I just remember as a young kid I had a friend on food stamps, and they were limited to rice, beans, bread, milk, generic cereal and stuff (remember the black & white boxes?), and maybe some gubmint cheese.

  134. WIC is Women Infant Children. Usually limited to formula, milk, and diapers. SNAP is Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. It is supposed to cover the pay gap for people that work and the end of the month. Works like a debit card. Electronic Benefit Transfer can be used for anything. No restrictions.

  135. Larry the Cable Guy – Harvey Weinstein Separated at birth?

  136. EBT – even alcohol and tobacco?
    She must’ve been on SNAP. Could get almost everything but deli goods, beer & smokes and paper plates/napkins. Just about anything else was fair game. I think she would even use it at Burhlger King??
    What a waste of taxpayer $…


  138. EBT isn’t restricted. That is the one that people were using at casinos and on lottery tickets.

  139. Can’t buy alcohol and tobacco. Can buy gift cards that can be used to purchase alcohol and tobacco.

  140. SSDI is the one that enrages me the most. My deaf uncle got fucked by Reagan after OSHA cost him his job in a factory in MI. Totally fucked. SSDI became eligible in 2009 for illegals that are language deficient. Not being proficient in English gets more money than a deaf mute. Just like drug addicts get more cash than American Vets.

  141. Apparently unmarried parents that kept their part time status to game the system are getting hosed by the Trump tax cut. Sean’s penis NM was used to getting more in EIC than part time pay. He and his baby mama aren’t getting a 16K refund this year.

  142. Apparently unmarried parents that kept their part time status to game the system are getting hosed by the Trump tax cut. Sean’s penis NM was used to getting more in EIC than part time pay. He and his baby mama aren’t getting a 16K refund this year.


  143. SSDI became eligible in 2009 for illegals that are language deficient. Not being proficient in English gets more money than a deaf mute. Just like drug addicts get more cash than American Vets.

    That’s been an issue for decades in Appalachia, I think. Parents prevent their kids from learning to read because illiteracy is a “learning disability” and if little Johnny learns to read, the SSDI checks stop.


  145. Not just Appalachia. My Aunt (Jennie) was responsible for statewide proficiency testing in NM. (Her real name is Juanita, but she thinks that name is racist and subjects her to racism). She could not believe how many Hispics/Family members would rather have their kids labeled as retarded than actually try to help their kids.

  146. She’s a pussy hat marching Planned Parenthood supporting anti-Trump/Pence asshat

  147. She is transphobic.

  148. Her hubby is a racist fuck, too.

  149. Dan is really nice about him. Every time he calls Dan a different name, Dan never corrects him. So far, Ron, has taken him to the airport, Connie Rie’s husband witnessed his 50 th Birthday hole in one, and that guy helped him move stuff.

  150. Everybody wanted to talk about the 63 closing locations and 11,000 out of jobs. Quite a few are welcome to apply for jobs with Wal-Mart and/or the e-commerce sites going into the physical locations. Already a major job transfer in place before today’s announcement.

  151. People were being major assholes today. I was passive aggressively rude. Bitch deserved it.

  152. What kind of e-commerce is going into an old Sam’s? Is WallyWorld getting into Aazon-like distribution centers?

  153. Looks to me like Wal Mart is going the way of Amazon. They advertised delivery over Christmas.

  154. A few years ago, Wal-Mart decided that Amazon was our competition. Not Target. Not Costco. Every move we’ve made since then, has been about securing the post baby boomer consumer.

  155. Walmart by delivery is the shiznit.

  156. Wal-Mart is rolling out Scan & Go. We’ve had it at Sam’s for a year…❤️. Self-check is awesome. Random Member” I really H8 costing a job”. Oso: Self-Checks don’t call out. ///Staffed cash registers have a runner and a cashier. Twice as much help. No jobs lost. Jobs gained. (We lost 3 jobs in accounting office with our fancy new cash machine but STFU)

  157. Lauraw, my Club is across the street from a Wal-Mart. Delivery is sketchy with Messicans. We do Site to store.

  158. As a culture, Messicans do not believe in private property and are very elastic as to what constitutes theft.

  159. No good deed goes unpunished. I went to yet another funeral. I should have left earlier; by the time I got there, the main church parking lot and the small parking lot by the church office were full. I parked in the overflow parking lot. Got towed. Apparently the agreement with the owners is only for the weekend.

    I was nice to the tow truck guy (he picked me up and brought me to the impound lot to get my car), and they ended up taking $25 off the impound fee. He said they get cussed out a lot.

  160. towing from a funeral seems hardcore.

  161. RMFH that’s brutal.

  162. I argued with the employees about the agreement, and they said they didn’t know there was a funeral today. There was a hearse blocking one of the lanes and three cops with lights flashing, one sitting directly in front of your store. I call bullshit.

  163. Cha-ching

  164. Our church has a deal with BernCo and the library. We know how gritting works. Willing to walk.

  165. Albuquerque bought into a Rapid Transit boondoggle. See also The Simpsons Monorail. Total cluster. We’ve been avoiding our favorite pizza place until ART was complete. Looks like ART will never be complete. I need a Saggio’s pepperoni, green chile, and pineapple pizza STAT

  166. Grifting

  167. The impound fee was cash only. I had the cash because I had pulled it earlier in the week to give to Rocketboy before he heads back to college. Yay for being an indulgent mom.

  168. Roamy, I’m sorry you got fucked with out so much as a goodbye kiss.

  169. Thanks, y’all.

    In other news, Rocketboy and his girlfriend had a good visit with my dad and stepmom and a safe trip back here, so I’m grateful for that. Watching the weather to figure out when to leave for MO.

  170. Church needs to put up signage informing people about not using that overflow parking lot on weekdays. Especially since the driver told you it happens a lot.

  171. We’re having to miss the funeral we were going to attend this weekend – Paul is si-i-i-ick, and we didn’t want to pass it along to any other family members.

  172. And so it starts
    You switch the engine on
    We set controls for the derp of the sun
    One of the ways we show our age

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