BBF – 2017 Championship Edition

Happy New Year Boob Enthusiasts and also to the Boob Curious, welcome to Big Boob Friday, 2017 Championship Victory Lap!



Surging late over the weekend, your 2017 Big Boob Friday Champion is a current TV Personality and former Adult Model, born February 8th, 1978 in Frankfort, Oder, East Germany.  She measures 37-24-33, stands 4’11” and 123lbs.  Bitte hol mir ein Bier and say hello to Miss Bettie Ballhaus !


  1. Nice pylons

  2. This is bullshit. Ellie was robbed. How many times did you vote for this nasty trashgirl, Pupster?

  3. Also, please ask your neighbors if beer bottles will explode at -10 F or if I can leave them out there.


  4. Do you have a spare cooler? It may help keep them from ‘sploding or at least contain the mess if they do explode.


    Laura, my daughter had a bottle of homebrew explode in her apartment when she left the heat turned down a bit while visiting us. She thought it was because it froze, but I told her her pipes would have burst first.

    -10 will definitely freeze your Leinie though…

  6. Plow dude hasn’t come yet. I imagine he’s a little busy today. Kids have a 2 hour school delay and my case is at 1020 so there’s some wiggle room. I’m not too keen on trying to get down the driveway even in 4WD. With the wind there are some massive drifts of 3 to 4 feet.

  7. My new neighbor has a plow.

    Woo hoo!

  8. You have a miniature pony.

    No, I have a miniature horse, there’s a difference, and it’s not by choice. I have a mini donkey by choice, but he’ll be a livestock guardian in my next life.

  9. Either way, I’m not someone in NYC who perpetually looks down upon poor rubes in jesusland and cares nothing for our troubles, then whines like a bitch when it gets a little chilly.

  10. Thank ye kindly for the surge, Pupster.

    Two-hour delay for Mini-me, and Mr. RFH and Rocketboy just hit the road for WV.

  11. We need to put leon on a 2 hour delay.

  12. wakey wakey

  13. -30 outside with windchill.

    I think I’ll just stay inside.

  14. I’m not sure how to take that.

  15. What’s in WV Roamie?

    I grew up in Parkersburg, Mom is from the Clarksburg area.

  16. You just need an extra 2 hours, leon.

    Just for you.

  17. I could get so much more done!

  18. What’s in WV Roamie?

    Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.

  19. Also…yes beer bottles will splode or the caps will fail, either way it’s a mess so get your day drinking hat on and buckle up.

    Preemptive strike.

  20. I wonder if my link will make Car in’s list of best music. I should go post that on her facemoron page.

  21. I think the bottles will go before the caps do. Those things are surprisingly tough. I’ve had a couple bottles crack.

  22. Skankalicious.

  23. /complains about winner
    /didn’t vote

  24. All I got to say is, Cheating Cheaters CHEAT!

    (mic drop)

    *walks away muttering about cross eyed midget gingers…..

  25. Heh. Ho Phat funneh

  26. She’s so gross. I don’t accept the outcome of this election.


  28. She colluded with the Russians.

  29. *screams at sky one year in the future

  30. Somebody or multiple bodies may have gamed the vote, but I did not. Next year I might close the poll earlier.

    -8 on the drive in to work this morning, we’ve had a couple of inches of snow on the ground since mid-December, nothing like what some of y’all are dealing with right now.

  31. Mr. RFH’s sister is in WV. She has been fighting stage 4 breast cancer for a year now. She is supposed to be starting a new round of treatment, now that the holidays are over, that involves modification of either T cells or stem cells, not sure which. I made pastisio, chicken stew, and balsamic cranberry pork and sent it with the boys so they are not a burden on my BIL.

    My co-worker lost his battle with cancer last night. I am sorry that he is gone, but it’s one of those relief-at-the-same-time things because he was in a lot of pain at the end. Cancer sucks.

  32. She’s in the Martinsburg/Shepherdstown area.

  33. We want Ellie!!! We want Ellie!!!

    She was robbed!!

    *puts on face mask and grabs baseball bat*

  34. Sympathies, Roamy, for both cancer cases.

    As far as the election: sure she’s a little vulgar, has short fingers, and of German descent, but maybe that’s what America needs right now.

  35. She ate a dog.

  36. Man, you NeverBetties are just obsessed with style over substance. Sad!

  37. Does the H2 have a 25th amendment?

    I know the first 24 all pertain to methods of cooking, workout routines, and gardening but I’m not sure of number 25.

  38. Roamy, hugs to you.

    Cancer is indeed….I don’t know.

    I couldn’t finish my sentence because, “…all things work for good for those who love the Lord.”

    (And yes, I know the end of that sentence, so calm down, not you, Roamy just anyone getting sassy)

  39. Calm down, mare.

  40. *puts mask back on and grabs bat again*

  41. I grew up in Parkersburg, Mom is from the Clarksburg area.

    Huh. My Dad (not father) was from Clarksburg. I spent some quality time there as a wee lad. Quaint little town.
    Then his Mom moved to Nutter Fort.

  42. This is bullshit. There’s no way this cow beat Ellie.

  43. This cow couldn’t beat Elsie.

  44. In the last video that Pupster linked, the makeup girl is cuter than Bettie.

  45. Ugh, you people are like Max Boot.

  46. Bettie Bootface

  47. Sous Vide turkey this weekend, YUM!

  48. I’m making poached deer.

  49. Is anyone else thoroughly enjoying the immolation of the Left?

    A lot of people seem to think this is a recent event, but it actually started under Obama. The tabloid journalism and the lack of intellectual consistency/honesty led us right here.

    Remember these awesome hits in no particular order:

    That dreamy pant crease!

    Obama wore a brown suit! Lets talk about it for 48 hours!

    What’s on Obama’s iPod? All of it is AWESOME!

    Obama sang a few bars of a song at an award dinner! He’s a star!

    Obama bought a book! Its a great book that has words that we like!

    Obama fills out March Madness brackets!! x 7

    Obama golfs, tells everyone an American got his head cut off. Poor Obama for having to tell us that!

    Obama wore jeans, a leather jacket, and sunglasses!

    Obama went out to dinner to a chic restaurant!

    Obama went to a play that we enjoy quite a lot!

    Obama sure can dance!

    What TV show should Obama host after he’s done saving the world?!

    Obama held court at a table of intellectuals in Italy, drinking wine until 3am! Everyone loved his so much they wouldn’t leave!

    Obama can rap!

    Obama just DESTROYED Trump at a correspondents dinner. It was hilarious and will never come back to haunt us ever!

    $20, and change.

  50. I have to get in the car in a little bit. Wish me luck.

  51. this is TL/DR (I did) but related to what MJ wrote (I didn’t write this):

    DEMOCRATS: Before you get too high up on your horse, because you think the President’s Tweets are beneath the dignity of the Office, remember this…

    •Ted Kennedy left a woman to die in a river.

    •Bill Clinton had weird sex in the Oval Office with a barely legal intern.

    •Obama ran guns to Mexican drug lords and gave billions to terrorist states.

    Obama ran guns to the Syrian “Moderate Resistance”. They took those arms and instead of fighting Russia, went on a genocidal rampage against Syrian & Iraqi Christians. He did NOTHING about it till the US media went into hysterics over the beheading of an American journalist. Then his reaction was to call them “JV”

    •Biden makes creepy and sexist comments and publicly fondles women and young girls

    •Hillary Clinton endangered Americans, released classified intel, wiped her illegal server and destroyed mobile devices, left 4 American heroes to die and lied about it being caused by some stupid BS video, sold nuclear material to our enemies, and took money from terrorist-producing countries.

    •John Edwards was indicted for using campaign funds to hide his mistress, while his wife was dying and his four kids were broken-hearted.

    •Rod Blagojevich is in prison for trying to sell Obama’s senate seat.

    •Anthony Weiner…well, need I say more?

    Yes, Democrat Party, please lecture us on what is “beneath” a political office. You have so much experience in that area.


    1. You said nothing when Obama used drone strikes to execute people abroad.

    2. You said nothing about Russia for 50 years until Trump was inaugurated.

    3. You said nothing about Hillary’s campaign manager’s brother being paid $175,000 to lift U.S. sanctions on Russia.

    4. You said nothing when Obama engaged in military interventionism in Libya without Congressional approval.

    5. You said nothing when Obama greatly expanded presidential power through the use of Executive Orders.

    6. You said nothing when Obama filled his White House with lobbyists after he said he wouldn’t.

    7. You said nothing when Obama gave 47 of his fundraisers Administration jobs.

    8. You said nothing about the murders and rapes at the hands of illegal immigrants.

    9. You said nothing when Hillary’s net worth rose over $100 million as Secretary of State, in part, because her husband took money from foreign governments.

    10. You said nothing after Obama’s net worth rose over $10 million as President.

    11. You said nothing when Obama’s Justice Dept. wiretapped/surveilled reporters such as James Rosen and the AP.

    12. You said nothing when Obama restricted immigration 6 times with Executive Orders.

    13. You said nothing when Obama set a record for deportations.

    14. You said nothing when Bill Clinton met Loretta Lynch on the airport tarmac during the Hillary Clinton investigation.

    15. You said nothing when Hillary was fed debate questions.

    16. You said nothing when Obama and Hillary lied about a video and Benghazi.

    17. You said nothing when Obama’s IRS abused the rights of taxpayers.

    18. You said nothing when Obama’s White House held meetings with lobbyists in coffee shops near the White House to avoid disclosure requirements.

    19. You said nothing when Eric Holder sold the guns you hate to criminals and some were used to kill Americans.

    20. You said nothing when the Clinton’s took (stole) White House property.

    21. You said nothing when Hillary laughed off defending a child-rapist.

    22. You said nothing when Hillary lied about her private use of a private email server as Secretary of State.

    23. You said nothing when Janet Reno, under Bill Clinton, used a tank to kill the Branch Dividians.

    24. You said nothing when, on May 13, 1985, a bomb was dropped on a row house in Philadelphia to uproot the black liberation group known as Move, resulting in a fire that eventually burned down 61 houses, killed 11 people (including five children) and injured dozens.

    25. You said nothing was Elian Gonzales was forcibly deported using guns.

    26. You said nothing when George Soros paid protesters to burn parts of Ferguson.

    27. You said nothing about states’ rights until Trump’s Executive orders on immigration.

    28. You said nothing about Obama’s smoking.

    29. You said nothing about the record numbers of people on government assistance.

    30. You said nothing about the number of part time and low paying jobs under the Obama recovery.

    31. You said nothing when Obama had SWAT teams raid a Gibson guitar factory and seize property, on the purported basis that Gibson had broken India’s environmental laws—but no charges were filed.

    32. You said nothing when Obama claimed that the Fort Hood shooting was “workplace violence” rather than terrorism.

    33. You said nothing about when Obama ended some terror asylum restrictions, by allowing asylum for people who provided only “insignificant” or “limited” material support of terrorists.

    34. You said nothing when the national debt doubled under Obama.

    35. You said nothing when 9 times the Supreme Court unanimously overturned Obama’s expansive use of Executive Power.

    36. You said nothing when Obama dismissed charges filed by Bush Administration against New Black Panther Party members who were videotaped intimidating voters at a Philadelphia polling station during the 2008 election.

    37. You said nothing when Obama released Guantanamo detainees who went back home and killed more Americans.

    38. You said nothing when Obama unilaterally changed Congressional law by Executive Order.

    39. You said nothing when Obama fired an inspector general after investigating an $850,000 AmeriCorps grant received by a nonprofit run by former NBA star and Obama supporter Kevin Johnson.

    40. You said nothing about the 36 Obama’s executive office staffers that owed $833,970 in back taxes

    41. You said nothing when Obama Killed four Americans overseas in counter-terrorism operations without a judicial process.

    42. You said nothing when a back room deal gave us the FED. They said nothing when Bill Clinton repealed Glass- Steagel and directly caused the housing bubble burst.

    43. You said nothing about Confederate statues during Obama’s reign
    So if you are voicing your objections about anything relative to president Trump, I offer no remorse…

    We can’t hear you because you said NOTHING before!!!

  52. I expect this in the next Tim Burton Christmas film.

  53. Bravo and brava to MJ and Carin.

    And please NEVER forget the video of Obama showing of his boner (what little he had) as President on Air Force One.

    Sexually loaded…check
    Act of a dummy considering you’re president…check

  54. Is anyone else thoroughly enjoying the immolation of the Left?

    Adding a few more from the top of my head.

    Obama shot three dozen Airballs while hooping with some kids at a makeshift court at the WH.

    Obama, in response to pics of Putin riding a horse while shirtless, released pics of him getting his swoll on in the weight room. With five lb dumbbells.

    Obama shot selfies while flirting with the exceptionally hot Danish president at the FUCKING FUNERAL of a respected world leader.

  55. Black women should have abandoned 0 entirely after the Danish president thing, but I’m guessing none of them ever heard boo about it.

  56. At some point the Obamas will get divorced or ‘live separately’ like Bill an Hillary.

    That will be hilarious.

  57. I expect that he’ll travel the world giving speeches, with trips to Thailand and other such places. She’ll move to LA or NYC, spend massive amounts of money shopping, and fuck her personal trainer. The girls will basically disappear. One may end up in rehab.

  58. Personal trainers will do that!?

    I had 3 free sessions at Powerhouse that I never used!

  59. They will when you’re a lonely, rich political wife tired of being a beard for your narcissistic weakling pseudo-intellectual husband.

  60. Well that pretty much rules me out, then.

  61. Do you think 0’s dog eating days are over?

  62. His dick eating days almost certainly aren’t.

  63. Heh – Tough mudder announced that Ellen would be doing the mudder in LA … and the responses are not positive.

    It is to laugh. gee, maybe the folks doing these Tough mudders aren’t the special snowflakes you imagine.

  64. Lots of military types. Not a ton of Feminist theory majors.

  65. Betty has a nice body. Which I guess is all that counts on BBF. But she’s got a two grocery sack face. One for her and one for me in case hers breaks.


  67. Y’all motherfu**ers need Jesus.

    Especially you MJ.

    I demand baby pictures of MJr.

  68. I want laser-powered bat drones too.

    And a big-bewbed german ginger spinner.

  69. And please NEVER forget the video of Obama showing of his boner (what little he had) as President on Air Force

    Wut? Did he actually selfie his wee wee? Or was it Mooch’s?

  70. *fist bumps Leon*

    *stands back up*

  71. STolen from Facedonkey:

    If you can’t tell the difference between DiGiorno and Delivery you’ve probably been foole by trannies a time or two as well.

    For some reason it made me think of you guys.

  72. Beasn, yes. It happened. The fratboy was so excited that he won,he actually got a chubby.
    I know it’s Snopes, but it’s the first hit that came up when I googled:

  73. I don’t know if they are real but I love the pictures of Oregonians trying to pump their own gas. Lib morons.

  74. Thanks, Chi.

  75. Compos flies United?

  76. I got you a new sticker

  77. Oh, might not be safe for work.

  78. Haaaahgaaaaaaa haaaaahaaa. Haaaaa.

  79. The voters have spoken!!!!

  80. But she’s got a two grocery sack face. One for her and one for me in case hers breaks.


    beasn <3 Pendejos de la Tejas

    Agreed. WOOF!

  81. So, you’d only do her in a pinch?

    That’s somebody’s mom!

  82. Chi, I doubt he chubbied over anything other than his boyfriend whispering goat pron in his ear.

    Couldn’t really tell with that video. Maybe that is why he had his leg up…maybe his MIL used too much starch in his underoos. Regardless, those reporters swooning while telling others to ‘sit down’ really gross me out. Barry is a pidgeon-toed, knock-kneed, jug-earred, goofy f*ck. Nothing sexy about his smelly self.

  83. I just don’t see this ugliness y’all are seeing. She’s got a decent face, admittedly not perfect, but it’s not like she’s Chubbell or something.

  84. 3rd pic is my fav.

  85. Back in college, I joined some group to do with my Spec. Ed. major. They made t-shirts that read “Special Educators Do It in the Least Restrictive Environment”. It didn’t go over too well with some.

  86. In day 5 of PayPal hell. “We’re freezing your account, you can’t send or receive payments” “Impact on account = Medium” If completely freezing the account is “Medium”, I guess a “Large” impact would involve an armed response or SMOD.

    Finally tracked down a phone #, Penelope has been on “hold” for the last hour.


    Also, Ellie was robbed.

  87. Sticker? heck J’Ames that should be a tattoo.

  88. My company uses something else to do online payments that we’re pretty happy with if you need an alternative.

  89. What do you call a tramp stamp on the front, pepe?

  90. Happy Trail Road Sign.

  91. She has a cute body but the shot of her face in Pic 5 is doing her no favors.

  92. How long before the Gorilla Channel is a real thing? Because I need a subscription for that yesterday.

  93. What do you use, Leon? Paypal is pretty much universal in the knife/edc biz.

  94. “What do you call a tramp stamp on the front”
    I dunno, I’ll have to ask your ………….. ;)

  95. I called Nature Made and asked them about D.
    They described it as thus: Lanolin is the starting compound for the synthesis of D3…blah blah…dehydrol cholesterol is removed and irradiated (UV rays) and cholecalciferol is formed.
    Says it does not fall in the FDA guidelines for allergens…that it is highly purified/heated.

    So, it kind of sounds like by the time they’re done, it ain’t lanolin anymore and probably doesn’t have any of it in the squeezed out D.

    I almost feel better about that. What think you smartypants people?

  96. Plausible, I’ve heard a similar argument for soy lecithin.

  97. Pepe.

  98. The end product is considered synthetic.

    May nose around some internet wormholes for more info. Maybe my pharmacist BIL may know more.

    Maybe grind one up and put it on my arm. If I don’t bubble up, then my innertubes will probably be okay.

  99. Pepe, why are they freezing your account? They don’t like what you are selling?

  100. Video stabilized on eyebrows.

  101. Sohos?

  102. I read: blah blah blah blah blah …the squeezed out D.

    Yeah, I’ve been hanging out here too long.

  103. Lauraw?


  105. Don’t squeeze the D. NoFap!

  106. They gave no explanation, Beasn. They just sent a list of info they required which included copies of personal (not the business) tax returns, copy of Social Security card, copy of a government issued photo id. The business is a corp. and the have all the IRS documentaion, secured credit card, and a linked corporate bank account.

    Why would anybody send all that info over the internet to “Priyadharshini” in god knows where? Corp. is a legal entity, it has no SS#.

    Penelope is midway through hour #2 on hold.


    Thanks, Leon, I’ll check it out.

  107. LOL

    Drunk baby has better fine motor than gross. Good job!

  108. That sucks, Pepe. I hate dealing with the paypal and/or ebay twerps. It’s a crap shoot on IQ in both organizations.

  109. Chi, I was watching some videos on shoulder impingement and various tips on stretching, strength building, etc. One of them had to do with worst sleeping positions which can contribute to the problem.

    In the comments, someone wanted to know how they can stop themselves from sleeping with their arm above their head while they slept. Someone responded by recommending shoving a fat sausage up their ass. Made me laugh and wonder which one of you weirdos, besides myself, watched phys. therapy videos.

  110. In the comments, someone wanted to know how they can stop themselves from sleeping with their arm above their head while they slept.


  111. ” someone wanted to know how they can stop themselves from sleeping with their arm above their head while they slept”

  112. Pilates seems to be helping with my shoulder wreckage. It’s pretty gentle. Thanks for the tip, Leon.

    Tomorrow I’m going to try and do some light weights.

  113. Glad to hear it, Laura.

    I haven’t been able to exercise at all. Finally felt well enough today and work slammed me, now I’m watching Possum while wife sees a movie with a friend of hers.

  114. Corn chowder warming up for dinner. It was good last night, hopefully it’ll get better with a little more time. I’m going to add a little hot sauce to mine tonight.

  115. Another coworker is recommending Stripe, Pepe. I think that was his choice and he got overruled.


  117. We have been using Bluepay for years.

    It works fine, it’s just not as easy as sending a PayPal invoice.

    Enter amount, CC number, expiration date, security number, name, street address, phone number……….

  118. Hey Mare, what are you doing later?

  119. Tomorrow I’m going to try and do some light weights.

    The PT I saw yesterday had me doing some stretchy/strength things with a band tied to a doorknob and some lat work. I wasn’t as pained when I left.

    laura, I like these guys. They recommend the same stuff my PT, duh, they’re legit. They have a ton of videos so search for ‘shoulder tendinitis’. The stretches, band work, etc. is helping. They also show how to do friction massage on the tender spots. It helps realign the fibers to the proper position as they heal.

  120. Not to mention the “fat sausage up the ass” routine.

  121. Not to mention the “fat sausage up the ass” routine.

    Your mom’s preferred shoulder pain remedy.

  122. Put a sausage anywhere near my ass, your shoulder isn’t the only thing going to need a pain remedy.

  123. Mrs. Pendejo ran across a recent Pat Benatar concert on one of the stations I didn’t even know we had. She’s still got it. Big time.

  124. Ms. Benatar still has it. My wife can’t sing a lick. But she tries hard.

  125. Passing 3 1/2 hours on hold with PayPal. Exemplary customer service. (insert RAGE emoji)

    Fortunately Penelope can read a book while listening to the interminable advertisements and helpful hints they run while you’re waiting.

    I fully expect them to hypnotize her into buying dinnerware or a new car.

  126. 3 1/2 hours is unacceptable.

  127. I’ll put up a baby post this weekend, Pups.

    And we won’t be moving to Minnesota. Too fucking cold and Canadian and Al Franken.

  128. What kind of gourmet serves hotdogs with asparagus and summer squash?
    A real Jacques Pepìn right there.

  129. Pepe, the phone number I have for Paypal is 888-221-1161

  130. Thanks, Scott.
    We’ll give that a try in a little while.

  131. Are you completely locked out of the website?

  132. Okay, who the fuck bused in all the fucking hoboes and union thugs and illegal immigrants to vote for this trashy skank?


  133. Clenis and Cankles.

  134. Nope, we can log in. There’s just a “limitation” on it, can’t send or receive payments. At present, we’re on hold on 2 different lines, and have 2 e-mails in awaiting a response.

  135. Comment by Hotspur on January 5, 2018 1:39 pm

    Do you think 0’s dog eating days are over?
    Comment by leoncaruthers on January 5, 2018 1:44 pm

    His dick eating days almost certainly aren’t.

    I love you people. Thanks, I needed that laugh.

  136. Hey Peps, since you’re around, when do those CRKT knives go on sale?

  137. I want a gorilla channel!!! 🦍 Have y’all watched the recent POTA trilogy? I loved it. Andy Serkis is amazing

  138. Oso, how many Bibles did you “give away” today?

    Keep Evangelizing Those Folks!!!!!

  139. * invents TGN *

  140. Beasn!!!! Opossum hands are creepier than otters!!!! Dan left the bedroom window cracked and Stoopid Canadian Geese doing a flyby woke me up before alarm time. 12% humidity. Sean is my idol. I’ve been using O’Keeffe’s Working Hands. It is great. I still don’t know how I had one ashy elbow.

  141. Houseguest is sick again.

    This is the 2nd time in two months.

    We need to amend the roommate agreement.

  142. Bibles were stable. Latest Lee Child is my 5 finger discount for the week.

  143. Scott, face masks and anti-bacterial wipes?

  144. O’Keefe’s is the shit. I have thus far not heard a single complaint from anyone I’ve recommended it to.

  145. O’Keefe’s is the bomb.

  146. It’s seriously the only thing I’ve found that works. Jurgens and Neutrogena and all the others can eat a dick.

  147. Never used O’Keefes. Ever since i learned of it, I keep a supply of Corn Huskers lotion for wintertime dry hands.

  148. Sean, I heard someone say they are available the 18th. We’ll see. Hopefully there will be a lot of interest at the SHOT show.

    Penelope has been on hold 5+ hours. I’m approaching one hour. Average wait time is estimated to be 27 minutes. I wonder where their actual location is and how much security they have.

  149. We’ve ALWAYS used Cornhuskers. This year, it wasn’t doing the job. I can’t afford the risk of infection. Wal-Mart had a whole shelf of O’Keeffe’s products. I’m not allergic to any of them!!! Being allergic to aloe and lanolin has always effed me up when it comes to skincare products.

  150. Think I’m gonna buy one of those for myself, Peps. Been looking for a new EDC, and God knows I can’t afford one of your regular models!

  151. We get wholesale pricing as par of the deal, so Penelope is looking into buying them from CRKT and then re-selling them. If she can get it set up, I’ll send you one. May take a little bit, though.

    She’s past 6 hours on hold.

  152. Thanks, man.

    That is a ridiculous amount of time to spend on hold. I suppose hanging up and calling back wouldn’t really solve anything at this point, huh?

  153. jewstin surfaced!
    but he’s gonna get his shit handed to him if he keeps friggin’ around….

  154. KMN Dan is watching figure skating. I’m so pissed. I really thought I’d be Olympics free for a change.

  155. Oso to Dan: #1 search result on google to “Is my husband…gay”. You’re watching figure skating. (Drops mic)
    Dan to Oso: chick figure skating. Kind of young, more pedo than gay. (Drops mic)

  156. Osita, I am watching figure skating, too, because there’s nothing else worth watching. They replaced Johnny Carson reruns with Murphy Brown.

  157. Roamy, I really H8 figure skating.

  158. I have 3 more days until I have to play nurse Nancy to the huge chunk the Dr took out of Dan’s back. I’m not in danger of swooning like his cartilage exposing ear skin cancer. No blood this time. Monica is confident she got it all.

  159. Yikes. Best wishes for Dan to make a speedy recovery and get back to the kitchen.

  160. Margo Robbie is kinda hot as Tanya Harding.

  161. Pups, canned pork & beans and steamed hot dogs tonight. I gave him a pass…outpatient surgery. Yawn. He better step it up tomorrow. CoAlEx, I think she slammed all New Mexicans after filming here. Is it free on Netflix?

  162. There’s a decent shoot-em-up movie coming on soon that should offset the gheyness of figure skating. Check out “Wrong Turn At Tahoe” coming up on BounceTV – the antenna equivalent of BET, but this movie isn’t their usual fare, so it’s more than watchable.

  163. Not yet. I just saw the trailer.

  164. Penelope’s still on hold, this is why you do not piss her off. Pretty sure they are close to some kind of blood vendetta. She will hunt them down, or start making voodoo dolls.

  165. Mini-me made grilled cheese sammiches for us. It’s not low carb, but I didn’t have to cook after a long day. Today at work was as somber as the Monday after the Columbia accident.

  166. Squishy hugs, Roamy. He sounded like an awesome person and amazing man.

  167. Still fighting with people about Bright. Orcs can never assimilate.


  169. I’ll put up a baby post this weekend, Pups.


    And we won’t be moving to Minnesota.

    Aww, I just emptied out a dresser drawer and lined it with felt for nothing?

  170. Thank you. He was. Introverts and Aspergers don’t grieve very well, and his boss didn’t help matters by sending announcements to only the civil servants. The contractors are pissed at being left out.

  171. Oso is just bitter over what the orcs did to her home in The Shire.

  172. There is much truth in what CoAlEx just said. #MenOfTheWest

  173. Roamy, I would challenge that Introverts and Aspies don’t know how to grieve very well, and in most ways it is a more deeply felt loss than surface people.

  174. Osita, perhaps more deeply felt but very hard to express. One of the older engineers couldn’t talk about Chip at all, he’d just put his head down and walk away, sometimes entirely out of the building into the cold. (16 degrees this morning.)

  175. That I can believe. Jury is out on depth of feeling and ability to express.

  176. Most recent studies err on the side of spectrum dwellers feeling more deeply and not being able to express than not feeling.

  177. You have my condolences, roamy. I loved the picture you posted of him, btw.

  178. Thank you, Sean. I waffled between that one and one of many on his Instagram account of him on his bike. For a while, he was riding his bike to his freakin’ chemo appointments.

  179. Feeling the loss of a great man. Cancer sucks.

  180. G’night guys. I’m suddenly on Dan’s timetable. Worst Nancy Nurse ever. Just a little queasy looking at his back.

  181. Trying to think of a your mom joke, a fart joke, or a Muppet joke to cheer us back up. Maybe I should post a recipe.

  182. Your mom’s such a Muppet that she farts in Frank Oz’s voice.

  183. Go for the trifecta, Roamy – a Mom, Muppet, fart joke all rolled up in one.

  184. And… Lil’ Sweet beat me to the punch.

  185. LOL!

  186. Howdy Hostages,
    I bugged out before Christmas and went to stalk mare (ok feed her oats) but could not find her so I visited family, hooked up with an old flame, wrecked my new car, fixed it, and drove back to Texas today. Heck I am kind of proud I drove around most of the Gulf o’ Mexico in 15 hours. (having a do over in central time helped)
    The car ran perfect! my leadfoot niece ran 120 mph for much of her drive. (I said it was her ticket but she is luckier than I) (I mostly read a book so I could pretend I was not terrified)
    After how many years I have still not met Mare and I have this stinky bag of oats because I heard she liked them.
    The old flame wants me to move back to FL, and I want her to move to TX, this mat not end well, but it is a lot of fun.

  187. Ug! May not mat, I read it once before clicking submit. I wonder if reading it 5x will help?

  188. She was going slow here

  189. Good to see you, Vman. Hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

  190. Everything you thought Tuesday
    And you couldn’t say
    You know they’ll derp you dry
    It’s only a matter of time
    I’ll take your place
    Hey I’ll take your life
    And when I used it up I trade it back for mine

  191. I’m not moving to Minnesota either.

    Septic appeal board is meeting sometime in the next 2 weeks to decide if I’m moving to Kalamazoo.

  192. Guhmineh.

  193. ‘Septic appeal.’ It’s Bettie Ballhaus’ version of sex appeal.

  194. *wakes up Carin so she’ll wake everybody else up*

    *holds wig and skort in reserve, just in case*

  195. Basically, anything but a standard septic system has to go through the appeal process. I had the initial dig done before I bought, that was $350, then the super thorough dig which was $1500, now the appeal is another $408. If the appeal itself takes place after the 12th, I’ll have to pay a fee to extend my rate lock in on the construction loan, without knowing if the appeal will be successful.

    This was a mistake.

  196. Bummer, Leon. Quite the series of hoops to jump. I bet lots of people get snagged like that one way or another. I hope it all works out in your favor, man, and soon.

  197. I usually don’t warm up to little kids too quick, but I would give the little girl in the header pic a cookie and a hug. She makes me laugh.

  198. *begins to wonder if the bank and or excavation contractor is on the septic review board*

    Fuck those guys hard.

  199. At worst, I pay it off while sharecropping it and then sell it in a few years. I’m not going to make back the $3k or so that we already have into it right away, but it’s land, it’s not worthless and never will be. I could also clear some of it for timber and make some cash, the pines in the back are 50yo.

  200. Credit union, and they aren’t in on it. They wanted to close in December and I delayed for this.

  201. Part of the scam is they make it look like it was your idea.


  202. Vman, minimum necessary to see me is to let me know you’re in town. Bradenton is a hop, skip and a jump. Sounds like you had quite the adventure.

  203. County permitting on the whole is crappola.

    Pinellas says if you have an elevator (in new construction) which we don’t although most in this development do, you must have (at the time of construction) a handicap access bathroom on the floor where the elevator goes. The sink is one of the ugly ones you see in cheap gas stations. Since we did not have an elevator and no one in a wheel chair could reach that floor, why make it so you can’t put a normal cabinet in there? Nope, “these are the permitting rules of the county, Ma’am.”

    No common sense.

  204. The red pines are worth about $250 apiece, per the stumpage report (SYWM). I think I have at least 50 of those.


  205. So between the wheat harvest and sowing hay, I could sell the red pines from the 4 acres out back and maybe get ahead on the year, whether we build or not. I need a forester.

  206. I need to wall off a section of basement and make my root cellar, finally. It’s too damn cold in the porch now, everything out there would have frozen. I have a bucket of huge beets and they’ve been in the kitchen for a week. Probably sprouting or rotting in there, I don’t even want to look.

  207. I’d like an automatic thermostat-controlled vent damper so I don’t have to keep adjusting the vents myself.

  208. wakey wakey 2

  209. late night at work. blah. Police were called over an issue with my party table and another.

    Ugh. it doesn’t pay enough.

  210. What did you do, Carin? Booger in the food again?

  211. Well, there were boogers in the food, but that wasn’t the issue.

  212. 30 top – hockey kids family (from canada – which is basically hell).

    They’ve got two tables, one of all the rugrats (which I’m waiting on) and the parents at the next. At one end, is a booth where this “family” had been eating, celebrating a birthday. Mom. Dad. Two teenage girls (about 13) and a baby.

    Well … apparently when they went to leave, the hockey dads decided the “dad” was too drunk. I didn’t see ANY of this, but apparently he dropped the baby. The hockey dads cleared the table and went in pursuit – and there was some sort of scuffle. Cops were called. 13 y/o girls were crying (broke my heart). The tween hockey boys were watching it like it was a floorshow. The “dad” had warrent out for his arrest and he was taken out in cuffs.

    It was a good time.

  213. I knew we were having this large part late at night, and I almost gave up the shift because of it. I waited too long and missed the opportunity. I walked in the door, saw the floorplan and KNEW that I was fucked. Manager said she couldn’t put anyone but me and my friend Laura on the party because … they’re all idiots. One girl messed up her shit w/o the craziness of a party with people sitting all over hell , separate checks, kids here … kids there.

    one lady was mad she had to wait for her check for a few minutes (they weren’t even done eating when some wanted their check). Look – you’ve got 30 people, you’re not even SITTING with the people who you are paying for, and you think I can just drop that out of my ass in ? Plus – the pandemonium created by … everything.

  214. You need to get better at pooping out checks on demand. I can see why the customer was upset.

    I made sourdough pita bread yesterday. Very simple. They came out nice, soft and chewy, and Scott and Houseguest are eating them all up. Guess this is gonna be a thing.

  215. You had one server (me) taking the kids order, and the other the adults. We had to keep track of which kid belonged to which parents, and put divide those tabs fucking helter skelter.

    It was crazy. that bitch left us $2 on $31.

  216. Carin’s job sounds too dangerous and stressful for me. She should help out with my hallucinogenic mushroom startup. Much safer.

  217. And, she was the one who the second she sat down (with a 30 top) said we’re ready to order.

    LOL. Look, I’m sorry these people made you come out to eat with them, or WHATEVER your fucking problem is, but you can’t descend on a restaurant with 30 people, everyone sitting all over the place, and expect super-fast service. you’ve basically done EVERYTHING you can to insure that it’s gonna take a few minuets to get food to you.

    And – they originally said they were going to be there at 7:30 with 50. They called later and said 25-30 at 8 … or 8:30. I think they strolled in around 8:45. On a fucking friday night.

    They were OUT of there by 10, at least, so honestly that’s not bad. The kids were done eating by 9:30 (I sped up and put their food in first at their request). And hour and 15 min for a 30 top?

    But, yea. $2 on $31 is completely justified. Because … reasons. GFY.

  218. Would I have to test the mushrooms? I’m not big on drugs. I tried pot in college and wasn’t impressed.

  219. Love it when the problem customer identifies himself right at the outset. In the shipping business, this gives us an opportunity to not be hired by them. In the restaurant business, not so much.

  220. For those of you unaware of the fact, Canadians are kinda crappy tippers anyway. I don’t know why, but they usually are pretty bad. We didn’t even make 15% on a 30 top. 4 dollars under. And for this we had to keep our tables empty for an hour so they would be available.

    I knew I would be fucked by that party.

  221. Houseguest found a tuscan white bean soup recipe she wants to make with me this weekend. I started the chicken broth early this morning. House smells wonderful.

    Gonna spice up the stewed chicken later and make burrito meat with it. Probably roll up a whole bunch of burritos for the freezer. Scott said he loves them and could eat my burritos every day.

    Is that low enough for you? I can put this fruit right on the ground.

  222. Those beginner pilates workouts do not seem like much when I do them, but I am so frickin’ sore the next day! And in weird ways. I think I get as big a workout from the muscles that are trying to stabilize my position, as from the actual working group.

  223. I should make freezer burritos. That sounds like something my family could eat when I’m working. Recipe please.

  224. It really is good stuff, Laura, I wasn’t kidding when I said I would do it with you.

    Carin, no, you can just be in charge of sterilizing the growth medium.

  225. ou can just be in charge of sterilizing the growth medium.

    Can Moose help? I’d love to have a job where I could bring my dogs with me.

  226. Comment by Car in on January 6, 2018 9:49 am

    Would I have to test the mushrooms? I’m not big on drugs. I tried pot in college and wasn’t impressed.

    I knew I would be fucked by that party.


    What else did you try in college? ;)

  227. This one time, at band camp …

  228. 99% sure we’re kicking PayPal to the curb today. 9+ hours on hold on the phone with 2 different numbers and no answer. Dealing with Gopi, Priyardhashini, and Sham, (yep “Sham”) via email, with a 12 to 24 hour lag just ain’t cutting it.

    We set up a website through Shopify last year. I think they have a mechanism to handle credit cards. Amazing that a company can treat customers this poorly and survive.

  229. Carin, there is no recipe. I just cook whatever meat with some pink beans, lots of ground cumin, chili powder, a little chipotle, salt and pepper etc.

    Roll up in very large tortillas with some shredded jack or cheddar, some salsa, a few drips of sriracha, and a pile of some veggie to put in there. For fresh burritos I have been using a little shredded cabbage and a shmear of sour cream. Crisp, cool and refreshing with the hot filling.

    For frozen ones I have been layering in a pile of quick-sauteed peppers and onions. Maybe some sweet corn in the filling, too. Or dirty rice. Different every time. Just get some big tortillas and play around.

  230. OH, garlic and rosemary. Gotta have garlic and rosemary in the meat filling too.

  231. And chopped onion

  232. And make as many as you can in one sitting. They go like hotcakes. So easy to just zap and eat. We like to put them in the toaster oven after they get zapped, too. The outside gets nice and toasted and crunchy.

  233. I’ve been eating the filling over steamed broccoli with melted cheese. I suppose I could freeze a few servings of that for myself too.

  234. We need a new thread so I don’t look like so much of a psycho.

  235. Good luck with that. Not the new thread, the looking like a psycho thing.

  236. I need a forester.

    Get the outback.

  237. Crisp, cool and refreshing with the hot filling.

    That pretty much describes your mom.


  239. To get Leon warmed up

  240. Thanks Pepe. My high school plan was to move to Miami for college. Then I had to go and get a girlfriend and ruin a plan that had frequent scenes like that in it.

  241. The most I have ever had to wait to talk to someone at Paypal was 15 minutes. Then it was a crapshoot of speaking to anyone I can understand.

  242. Penelope was on hold for 7+ hours, I was on hold for 1.5+ hours and an additional 1/2 hour this morning. No answer. I’m done.

  243. “To get Leon warmed up”

    not robust enough

    this –

  244. that paypal dealio would make me homicidal

  245. Is paypal down or are they having an extended vacation?

  246. Sorry about your night, Car in.
    Some of the snottiest people i have ever met were Canadian. (group of collectors)

  247. […] H2 has Big Boob Friday. And some Rule 5 for the […]

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