MMM 301: Secret Santa Edition

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For the second year, I have volunteered to try and run this thing for the blog.  I will be adding daily reminders to posts this week.  If you want in on this year’s gift exchange, email my name at the gmail thing with:

Your handle, your real name, your physical address, your phone number (optional in case anything goes wrong in shipping).

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The sign-up period is CLOSED at 8am on Mon, Dec 4, and we’ll plan to exchange gifts on Sunday, Dec 17.  Merry Christmas!

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Now, back to Monday.  Although this angel is welcome to sit on top of my tree trunk.

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Hindquarters so robust that they threaten the powers of lycra itself.

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She’s nerdy, because glasses.

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I miss warm days already, and I’m sure to miss sand at this time next year. Sooo much clay over there.

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I could do this for like half a second.

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I still hate this hairstyle, but she does photograph well.

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And the worst week in Corporate America begins.

113 Comments

  1. I gotta start shutting all the animals out of my bedroom. I’m sure they are part of the problem.

  2. wakey wakey

  3. Relevant.

  4. Instapot’s are on sale at Amazon. I really don’t see anything else of interest.

  5. Egregious misuse of an apostrophe. 10 demerits.

  6. whateve. Here are all the fucks I give:

  7. Ok, now I’m pissed. In addition to be loud and messy – Erin must have given all her friends my wifi password and they managed to go through 70 gigs. I’ll be out for over three weeks.

  8. I saw the Instapot sale at amazon and spent some time wondering if I really needed an Instapot. Then I wondered how Paula would feel about receiving an appliance for a Christmas present. Still haven’t committed.

  9. Time for a donation jar. Or just bill them for the password.

  10. The first summer we had HughesNet at camp the neighbor asked for the password and Paula, wanting to be a good neighbor and slightly taken aback, gave it to her. Neighbor used up so much data with her Facebook shit it slowed to a crawl. Once I learned about how it works we changed the password and said “sorry” (not sorry)

  11. That wouldn’t help, because it’s not as if I can buy “more” bandwidth. When I’m out, I’m out. I’m going to make up a list of rules for Erin today for her friend-events.

  12. People who don’t have Husghesnet simply don’t understand. No, you can’t just watch a few videos then snapchat for hours on end. I may just have to turn off the wifi when her friends come over. If it were one friend, but she had something like 10 over saturday night.

  13. Your provider sucks. That’s actually just crappy business. They should have some steep fee after X GB, but still provide it.

  14. The plan I’m on somehow lets me do facebook and the Hostages after I run out, but a lot of other things slow to a crawl.

  15. You’re absolutely right, Leon. They used to. If and when I ever have a better option, I’m gone. I don’t know if that will ever happen. It’s been 10 years.

  16. I can surf – but upload/download things are near impossible.

  17. Rural internet is still really tough. The land we bought was the biggest parcel I could find where cable was available at all.

    Have you looked into directional 4G antennas?

  18. You mean to hook up the computer to my phone plan? I’m pretty sure they slow that shit down somehow.

  19. 4G router tied to a directional antenna:

    http://www.tomshardware.com/faq/id-1888183/alternative-home-internet-services.html

  20. I know there is a local company that does this, but my house couldn’t get a signal to their tower. I assume if you do it yourself you’re using a tower that you can access? Like the one my cell phone uses- t mobile

  21. You might have to find a tall tree or build a tower, but it’s an option. We were considering it for a few of the land options I looked at.

  22. Our cell reception varies at camp. On the porch it can be 4G and it will fade there to 3G or even 1x whatever that is. With a metal roof the signal is for crap in the actual house. What about getting a femtocell (sp?) device?

  23. you should be able to tether to your phone, but it’s a pain. This should be doable in an emergency, though. Or you could download to your phone then transfer to computer via wifi, or usb.

  24. I would be changing that password every day.

  25. Leon’s link included some exterior antenna options in the FAQ section.

  26. I’m one of those who got screwed in the Equifax breach. Several attempts at opening credit cards with my info have been attempted. They have ALL my info and yet the cards would not be opened. Life lock is on it but what a CF. Equifax needs to be sued up the asshole. Thier security guy was some kind of NON-tech dumb ass.

  27. I’m assuming it was the Equifax breach.

  28. I’m in the same boat with internet. The most we can get is 25 gigs. After that, it works but slows to a crawl. They put up a new satellite in June, but we may not get access to it. A friend in AZ already has access, grrrrr. The new plan is 150 gigs for $100. Right now we get 25 gigs for $125.

    Our house has no direct line of sight to a cell tower. With a booster, we get 2 or 3 bars. We used to get 3 or 4 bars, and 3G data. One cell tower went down a year ago, and even though they fixed it, the strength is way down.

  29. *slowly closes laptop*

    Yeah, Equifax. Those bastards!

  30. The security head was a woman with a music degree.

    There’s basically a 0% chance she didn’t f*ck her way to that job, one way or another.

  31. I used to get a couple of bars of cell reception at home, but since I’ve returned from Europe I can’t get any reception at all. I’m forced to rely on my home wifi, which sucks because my wireless router has issues.

  32. Who blocked your tower, Alex?

  33. pretty sure Erin’s friends used all his bandwidth.

  34. My bbq thermometer was beginning to fail so I ordered a new one on Saturday night. It landed on my steps around 10 AM.

    It’s wonderful having an Amazon distribution center 15 miles away.

    I got a Thermopro and I am pretty impressed so far.

    Free probe replacement for life.

  35. I was thinking of getting one of those, scott. The Smoke, so I can add monitoring via internet to it.

  36. H2 Gardening Tips

  37. Free probe replacement for life.

    Gross.

  38. I almost went with that one, but cheaped out. I rarely get a year out of a thermometer.

    Plus, the range on this thing is 300 feet. That will almost always be enough for me.

  39. Any favorite leftover stuffing recipes?

  40. I want to have internet monitoring, so I can start something before work, and have Mrs. Jay stoke the fire if necessary. Will be nice for pork butts, since they take so long. i can do them without crutching, then.

  41. You’re not doing it right, Jay. Leftover stuffing is a non-sequitor in our house ;)

  42. I have a LOT of stuffing, that’s all.

  43. Well, that sounds perfect for you.

    It gets great reviews.

  44. Just toss the stuffing on the waffle iron, then pour warm gravy on top.

  45. found a gif of MJ

  46. H2 sits on Santa’s lap

  47. Anita has been wanting a *real* DSLR for a long time. I had to drive north today anyway (’cause I’m out of whiskey), so I went to Costco, along with 2,000 of my closest friends. Their booze prices are the same as Total Wine.

    When I walked in the door, a young man handed me an $8 coupon for a pork loin, so I ended-up buying a 6.5 pound loin for $4.62.

    I bought her a Canon EOS T6 with a bag and two lenses for $450. She can control it from an Android app on her phone, and transfer pictures over WiFi.
    It’s an interesting machine. There are much better cameras out there, but we are not making a living as photographers, so this one will do…

  48. Great gift, Chrispy! And I’m hitting Costco for that pork loin.

  49. Ha! Jay, I like that Santa deal.

  50. I bought her a Canon EOS T6 with a bag and two lenses for $450. She can control it from an Android app on her phone, and transfer pictures over WiFi.
    It’s an interesting machine. There are much better cameras out there, but we are not making a living as photographers, so this one will do…
    —————————-
    I just bought the Nikon version of the same camera. Same price, with all of the accessories and what not. The pictures sent to a phone via bluetooth is pretty awesome.

    Hope you also got booze.

  51. Hope you also got booze.

    “A man’s got to have priorities.”

    –John Gotti

  52. What kind of whiskey?

  53. Along with my fruitcake supplies I picked up a bottle of this.

    http://www.westcorkdistillers.com/west-cork-irish-whiskey/bourbon-cask/

    Seems like a shame to pour it into a fruitcake but it’s not like they’ve stopped making it.

  54. Tradition must be overthrown

    http://www.bostonherald.com/news/local_coverage/2017/11/holy_cross_may_shed_crusader_moniker

  55. Scott,
    Cheap Canadian blend. I’m not a connoisseur,
    just a drunk…

  56. Canadian is my favorite, but I try to maintain a standard of VO or better.

  57. After 300+ years of suffering pillaging and conquest, men of God spend their personal fortunes and lose their lives fighting backward heretic savages and – very importantly – don’t actually win in any lasting way against the witless satanists, and we’re just supposed to scrub them from history because the modern satanists might be verklempt over it.

    Fuck everyone involved with a voulge-guisarme wielded by Vlad Țepeș.

  58. Canine Auricle Update: Both ears infected. Continue full course of antibiotics (21 days total) and drops in both ears for 7 days.

    He needed the muzzle to a;;ow the Vet to look in his ear. He’s not a biter but I don’t blame her for wanting to use it. Plus it probably puts the dogs in a submissive state of mind.

  59. a;;ow = allow

  60. jimbro, standing rib roast will work great on the PBC. And stuffing would go great with it.

  61. Jimbro that Holy Cross deal is utter bullshit. Pisses me off.

    Crusaders were heroes and I wish they would have rid the world of their adversaries.

  62. God must want Islam around for something, or has made it part of His plan.

    Nothing else explains it.

  63. Nothing else explains it.

    ——–

    It’s classic good vs evil.

  64. After researching standing rib roast on the PBC I now realize the idea I had in mind was actually a crown roast of pork with stuffing. I’ve never made either one. I have vague memories of my sister making the crown roast for Christmas dinner when she was a young bride before her kids came along (>24 years ago).

  65. So how was everyone’s thanksgiving?

    Carin stood me up.

  66. She had the vomits.

  67. No excuse.

  68. MJ, something should be hitting your porch Wednesday.

    Don’t let the porch pirates get it.

  69. Mine was great MJ. At my daughter’s, played bean bag toss (known to xbradtc as cornhole), great food, decorated my daughter’s Christmas Tree, had already finished the outdoor lights. All in all a great day/evening.

  70. How’s the baby, MJ?

  71. They are probably working on his numbers.

  72. make sure to order the little caps for that rib roast. those are fun.

    Also PBC.

  73. Last year I did a standing rib roast for Thanksgiving, and a crown roast of pork for Christmas. Both were really good, but people were swooning over the rib roast.

    Yesterday, my sous vide ribs were excellent. My friends like it when I experiment on them.

  74. Greetings from Toronto! In case you were wondering, this is what 1/6th of the line to get through customs at the airport looks like: https://is.gd/SKVeTy

  75. Because of all the smoked meats, and barbecues I’ve done, my friends refer to me as Lord Carnivore – a title I try to live up to every dinner party.

  76. Customs was really quick coming back from Ireland. They have an automated system that does a comparison. Penelope cruised through, but I had to go through another check.

    #diet blog – I talked to several people who said they had issues with wheat in the US or Canada, but they could eat it without any problems in Europe. Weird.

  77. Way better than Captain Tofu.

  78. You should build a throne from bones.

  79. I treat cooking like a science. HotBride treats it as an art. I meticulously follow recipes, she just makes it up as she goes along.

    Yesterday she made stuffed acorn squash. She boiled rice, threw in a bunch of savory spices, and some chopped veggies, and asked me to taste it. I thought it tasted great. Next thing you know she adds a cup of sliced almonds. I was like, “WTF?” She said it needed more texture.

    It was amazing.

  80. Salad Shooter.

  81. I just wasn’t that in to cooking until I got my first smoker. Then I just loved experimenting.

    It wrecked eating out for me because nothing was as good as I could do at home.

    But I’m at a loss without a recipe to follow.

  82. I like to make soups without a recipe. Other times I’ll use a recipe for inspiration and freehand the amounts or omit an ingredient I don’t have or don’t want to buy. If I make the standing rib roast or crown roast of pork you better believe I’ll follow the recipe like a science experiment given the cost of those cuts.

  83. Howdy, foax.

  84. How’s your Cyber Monday going Sean?

  85. Sir Lambsalot

  86. It’s fun to make a meal out of what’s in the fridge and the cupboard.

  87. You’ll be substituting in no time, HS. combining what’s good and knowing what’s not.

  88. 14 cups of stock freezing! Only 2 more batches to go!

  89. My Cyber Monday has, thus far, consisted of me buying a sammich. And it wasn’t even available online, so I had to walk into a place and buy it like a fucking caveman.

  90. I charged the battery for Anitas’ camera, put a 64GB memory card in it, installed the *normal* lens, and she is now going through the manual and trying to learn what all those fucking buttons are for.
    That damn thing is more complicated than my old helicopter, and that’s sayin’ something…

  91. Dwight D. Cauliflower

  92. Oh, I forgot to tell you that when I bought the camera, it came with a 32GB SanDisk card. I got two(!) 64GB cards for $29!
    Pretty damned cool…

  93. Ooh, I’ll play along…

    Ivan the Vegetable

  94. Baby is good, Mare.

    He’s the cutest little guy ever.

  95. I’ll keep an eye on the porch, Scott.

  96. $70 off today.

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/11/27/sous-vide-amazon1-3/

  97. I got two(!) 64GB cards for $29!

    I remember when a 10 Mb hard drive was $300, and I thought I’d never need that much memory. Good deal, ChrisP.

  98. Hi, MJ. Glad to hear the baby is doing well. How are you and GND holding up?

  99. Roamy,
    Yes! An IBM 80286 CPU with a 5MB drive was $5K!

    Scott,
    The whiskey is “MacNaughtons, blended in Canada under the supervision of the Canadian government”, bottled in New York.

    It probably is shipped south in old oil-tankers.

    It’s swill…

  100. I learned to cook on the fly out of necessity. I’m always missing a couple ingredients, or have little easy access to them (shallots, anyone?) or just don’t care for something (mushrooms). I rarely follow a recipe to T or measure.

    I’m no Jacques Pepìn, but i don’t do too badly. Watching a bunch of cooking shows laid a decent foundation.
    I don’t do fancy, but I think this week I’m going to try a ‘braciole’ with a pork loin I have in the freezer. What’s the French term for rolled up roast with a stuffing spread all in it? Looks like a jelly roll…
    (I think braciole is strictly a beef roll cooked in tomato sauce?)

  101. I believe the French call that “le grand pénis.”

  102. Chi,
    After that pork loin I found at Costco for $0.71/LB, I don’t know what to do with the pound of sliced ham that I just defrosted to make ‘Split Pea and Ham soup’ for when we finish the ‘Keto Twice baked Cauliflower’ tonight! There’s too much food, and we sexagenarians that get by with 1200 calories a day.
    I like to cook!
    I’m gonna have to cut the pork loin into thirds and freeze it until the pea soup is gone, then crock-pot a piece with Ro-Tell, black beans, and Herdez peppers for pork enchiladas.
    First world problems…

  103. blerg.

  104. Heh.
    Chrispy, you’re the one that reminded me to check my freezer. I read your comment earlier, and thounght “hmmm…” sure enough, a nice sized pork loin waiting for me.

  105. Well, today sucked.

    How about the rest of you?

  106. It wasn’t bad, Colex. And in about another hour I can go home and have some ice cream.

  107. I’m home now. I should practice the violin and then go to bed.

  108. Why not viola?

  109. Because I have a violin. Although, for a while I dated a string of violists.

  110. Heh. A string of them.

  111. Mark out the points, derp the pyre
    Assemble different drummers, light up the fire
    Put on your masks and animal skins
    Illumination, illumination

  112. Hi, MJ. Glad to hear the baby is doing well. How are you and GND holding up?
    ———————-
    Hi Sean.

    That’s the first time anyone has asked about us. Thanks. It’s always about the baby. **eyeroll**

    We’re doing ok, which in reality is great.

    Its challenging, rewarding, fun, and all of the good possibilities of life rise to the surface when I look at him sleeping.

    His beard hasn’t come in yet, which is a huge disappointment. Looks like he’s gonna be a redhead, though, which is kind of fun.


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