BBF

Hello hair whippers and downloaders, welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

Your model for today was born in New York City September 8, 1988. She stands 5’8″ 36E-25-36 and 130 lbs. Please say hello to Miss Tessa Lane!

146 Comments

  1. She is a cleaning machine.

    She’s got everything.

  2. And yet somehow, I wager it’s all dirtier than it was before…

  3. Trailer cute.

  4. hahahahah, A bed duster.

  5. They spared NO expense on sets for this shoot.

    “Hey, Auntie Gertie is at Bingo all day today, let’s shoot over there. We have a good 2 hours!”

  6. Heh. I actually have an Aunt Gertie.

  7. Is it a requirement for everyone here to be a midget?

    I identify as a tall black man.

  8. Me too, Chi. Well, I use to.

  9. wakey wakey

  10. http://usmclife.com/2017/11/graphic-navy-admits-pilots-responsible-obscene-skywriting/

    Phat is out of the navy, right?

  11. Phat was Air Force.

  12. I remember Velvet Revolver. Too bad about Scott Weiland.

  13. Local radio guy picked apart the Fox poll that shows Moore down by 8 pts. Same poll has approval rating for Obama 6 points higher than that for Trump. Not in Alabama.

  14. True story, mare. I always loved when grandpa would tell it:

    Gram & gramps had two boys – Richard and Thomas – when Mom came along. Grandpa insisted on naming her Harrietta. Grandma would have none of it and gave her the frumpy name Doris.
    Fast forward a bit, and Mom brings Dad home to meet the folks. Apparently he was a big hit. They eventually marry.
    As soon they they exchanged vows ànd kiss, grandma backhands gramps and says “are you happy now? You finally got your Tom, Dick & Harry!”

  15. If you want to maintain any notion that this girl isn’t dumb as a brick, don’t watch the video.

  16. I bet her working vocabulary is in the hundreds of words.

  17. I had an Auntie Doris too. Must have been popular at that time.

  18. If you want to maintain any notion that this girl isn’t dumb as a brick, don’t watch the video

    Makes it even harder to believe that she’s almost 30. I would’ve guessed 19 since she doesn’t look all used up. Yet.

  19. God tried very hard to compensate for her brick brain and give her attributes that might snatch her a husband. Instead she sold them at retail and will likely die alone and broke of gonaherpasyphylaids.

  20. The video was cringe worthy

  21. I had to watch the video because you guys are talking about it, but … seriously?

    gah. Kinda wrecks the entire thing, doesn’t it?

    5 years, and she’s going to look (as Pay would say) like she’s been ridden hard and put away wet.

  22. I gave this post a like and a thumb up for the excellent gif selection, clever use of house cleaning photos which reinforces the bed dusting theme and the, possibly unintentional but still hilarious when I think about it, 3rd photo of her in the “Spiky Anti-Franken Bra”

  23. The alarm bell / measurement gif made me laugh and the welcome one made me reminisce about my old dog Daisy who did that once when I showed up at a field where my ex had our dogs. I got home and they weren’t there so I rode up to the field and saw them about 30 yards away. I gave a loud “DAISY!” shout and she came running and leaped into my arms. By some miracle I remained standing so it remains a good memory.

  24. God tried very hard to compensate for her brick brain and give her attributes…

    There’s that darned Free Will rearing it’s ugly head again!

    Sadly I’ve known (even ‘dated’) girls not too far removed from this one. Not porn stars, but dumb as a box of hammers and thinking that their cute smile will get them by in life forever.

  25. gah. Kinda wrecks the entire thing, doesn’t it?

    Pretty much. Give me a mousy girl who can talk dirty any day.

  26. She’s cute, but I never thought she would be particularly bright. The video did nothing to change my opinion.

  27. I’ve got the bla’s today.

  28. The video revealed that she was a completely unattractive person on the inside. Just no.

  29. Car in, we already knew that by the fact that she did porn.

  30. Worky tonight. I’ve got to motivate

  31. I was supposed to go to two housing inspections, but I blew them off because my leg hurts too much every time I get up or sit down. I still have to meet with a property manger later, and then do a timed drive. Bleh.

  32. Is there a pool going on which celebrity or politician will be outed as a pervert today?
    I’m having a hard time deciding on who to put my money on, but I’m betting the MSM is looking for a Republican under every rock.

  33. Good Franken.

    Anything happen last night on Lapeer Creek.

  34. Why are you going to housing inspections, Alex? I thought you were some sort of econometrician thinktanky guy now.

  35. https://nypost.com/2017/11/16/cops-bust-wife-of-high-school-football-coach-waiting-for-sex-romp-with-teen/

    I blame the Patriarchy.

    No, seriously. You let this shit happen, guys. You should have stopped this in its tracks decades ago.

  36. I dindu nuffin.

  37. Exactly!

  38. I think Lapeer creek is on it’s midseason break.

  39. its = possessive
    it’s = it is

    your welcome

  40. Where were all the hot young teachers having sex with students when I was highschool? The teachers I remember looked like Maxine Waters, so I’m thankful I didn’t get raped by them.

    My guidance counselor OTOH – He was a perv. Put his hand on my knee once, but after I rebuffed his advance, it was never an issue again for four years. We actually became good friends.

  41. Leon, I do housing market analysis for an economic consulting firm. I go out to bases, interview Realtors, and look at houses as part of the job. Number crunching comes later.

  42. Where were all the hot young teachers having sex with students when I was highschool?

    This is part of the problem. This might have been your dream in high school, but not everything we want is good for us.

  43. The best way to stop these teachers having sex with students is to mock their husband’s mercilessly. Humiliate them. If your wife screws around it means you failed as a husband. These women have to learn that their actions have repercussions for others around them.

  44. The best way to stop these teachers having sex with students is to mock their husbands mercilessly. Humiliate them. If your wife screws around it means you failed as a husband. These women have to learn that their actions have repercussions for others around them.

  45. Awe, Jesus…….and we’d been doing so well.

  46. I’m not saying this to be a butt, but I’d honestly rather spend the night with any of yalls moms from yesterday’s post than to spend th night with this udder life support system. Except for MJ’ s mom…….she looks like 20 years of hard time for what we used to fall statuatory rape.

  47. I’m of two minds about that, Alex. The husband isn’t blameless by any means, but it was her who broke the vow. I’d have sympathy for the man in most cases, it’s not like many of make a habit of saying no to sex or use denial as a behavior modification tool.

  48. This is part of the problem. This might have been your dream in high school, but not everything we want is good for us.

    Seems I remember hearing some advice about never sticking something in crazy…

  49. A 17yo kid with no dad doesn’t hear about the crazy/dick rule.

  50. I actually know the its it’s rule. It’s my fingers that get lost at times. They have a mind of their own.

  51. I think most every 17 year old (most- not all) would go for it. I think it’s the gals. Everything is ok. Nothing is taboo. Who know, her husband may be addicted to porn and doesn’t get it done.

    Women USED to be the control mechanism for guys who – at their hormonal peak – don’t have the self control when the couchie is handed to them on a silver platter.

    There are so many ways this may have gone off the rails.

  52. I was thinking along those lines as well. At 17, most men are life support systems for their wangs and have little choice but to follow them wherever they go. Women used to be taught not to let them go there.

  53. These “adults” still identify as children. They certainly have the maturity level.

  54. I’d hit it.

  55. A quick search of today’s model reveals that she’s a pornstar and has done work for a site called XXLDong.com.

    I mean, that’s funny. Someone bought XXLDong.com. I wonder if XSDong.com is available.

  56. Jesus. You guys are waxing philosophical today.

    Thanks for getting us back on track MJ.

    The video revealed that she was a completely unattractive person on the inside. Just no.

    She shares her insides on video as well. Her life is an open oyster.

  57. In some of the pictures, she looks like Aylissa Milano.

  58. German realtor was MILFy. Her cute 18 year old daughter was along as terp.

  59. Even if you’re single, you don’t screw around with married people. Humans don’t have infinite self discipline and if you put enough pressure on them eventually most will break.

  60. I wonder if XSDong.com is available.

    Rumor has it, the Chinese bought that domain.

  61. MJ, would you hit this?

  62. OH DEAR GOD I HAD TO PUT UP WITH THAT AT ACE’S WHY WOULD YOU LINK THAT HORRIBLE THING HERE

  63. With a truck.

  64. Just trying to understand the real MJ.

  65. Poor Webb Hubbel Jr. She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

  66. MJ’s an ass man, we’d need to have a fresh look at the “Ass of Life” to know if he’d hit that.

  67. Looks like I might have a couple of weeks off.

    That means I get to work on the staircase.

  68. MJ, would you hit this?
    ———————————–
    Yeah, I would. I’d punish that simp.

  69. Yeah, I probably would too.

    *hangs head in shame*

  70. I’m sure Chubble is a mediocre lay but I could probably get her to scream ‘MAKE A BABY ON MY FACE.’

  71. I could probably get her to scream “THAT’S BIGGER THAN DADDY’S!”

  72. The video of her doesn’t make her look good. Also, that gif of the pup jumping into the guys arms….the guy looks exactly like my oldest nephew. Amazing resemblance.

  73. Heh. Chubble. That’s rich.
    Why have I never heard that one before?

  74. You weren’t here when we were doing the Chelsea Hubbell riffing.

  75. Figured that I shouldve heard it back when I was at Ace’s.
    Where did everyone go. I bugged out of doing anything productive today, and was expecting y’all to entertain me!

  76. I’m two hours away from dropping the mic on my current delivery no matter what state it’s in. My Give a Damn has been thoroughly abused for about 6 straight months and it’s pretty much broken at this point.

  77. The only thing I got done today was bringing my genius idea to life. I attached a length of small, flexible tubing to my shop vac hose so when I take the bulb socket out of Mike’s headlight assy, I can snake the tubing in and hopefully capture the bulb easily.
    Exciting, I know. I’m sure you were all on pins & needles.

  78. Tenterhooks.

  79. I saw Tenterhooks open for Wall Anchors back in August at Ace’s place.

  80. Tenterhooks sounds like a descriptor for Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s hairstylist.
    “Just give me the usual tenterhooks. Extra mayo.”

  81. All Franken groping the Hildebeast, Chubble, and now DWS all in one poat. We’ve broken the blog.

  82. “Broken” as in “will shattered, emotionally dead, staring blankly”…

  83. I attached a length of small, flexible tubing to my shop vac hose so when I take the bulb socket out of Mike’s headlight assy, I can snake the tubing in and hopefully capture the bulb easily.

    ——–

    Weirdest euphemism ever.

    Private life should stay private.

  84. And, this is what I meant by ‘entertained’ – I wish I could quit you, H2…

  85. I did not have sexual relations with that shop vac.

  86. https://pjmedia.com/drhelen/lack-touch-destroying-men/

  87. I have no idea WTF I said in anyone’s yearbook, but I’m sure it was stupid, with a shit ton of grammatical mistakes and sappiness only rivaled by my dumbness.

    I do not want anyone whose yearbook I graced to use it against me when I became famous.

  88. I was watching reruns of The Goldberg’s and it made me think of high school and yearbooks.

  89. When you signed my yearbook I framed it.

  90. Hotspur, we’ve had four good years together, and here we are – almost grown up, ready to start our lives.

    I will never forget the night we got drunk on the beach and fell asleep. God, our parents were pissed.

    And then there was the time you gave me mono. I was in the hospital for weeks and almost had to do tenth grade over.

    Good luck in the Navy. Write me.

    Your Pal,
    Mare

    PS: it wasn’t me who set your gym bag on fire in the parking lot.

  91. Smokin’ ribeyes in the dark.

    Sounds like a Tom Petty song.

  92. I hated my high school. I was bussed to the inner city and was a minority white kid that was harassed for being a white kid that wanted to learn. I never bought a single yearbook. If I signed one, I don’t remember doing so.
    Never attended a football or roundball game – heck, I didn’t go to prom. I hated that racist School.

  93. hahahahahaaaaa….That actually sounds like something I’d do and write.

  94. “Alex, if you speak to me again I’m going to get a restraining order, after I have my boyfriend and his buddies beat the crap out of you in the parking lot. He’s the senior with the car.

    Have fun over the summer!

    Mare”

  95. When you signed mine I used a pen with different-colored ink to write something incriminating in 40 years after the fact.

  96. If it was signed “Merry Christmas, dumbass”

    that was me.

  97. Mare, it’s been a swell four years. You taught me sooo much. I now know how to snap/unhook a chick’s bra, hide a lit cigarette under my tongue at football games when Mr. Ayers walks by, how to con the cafeteria ladies into giving us an extra chocolate milk, and the list goes on.

    You showed me what a hickey is, and I had to wear a bandaid on my neck for a week.

    Well, anyway, we had a blast. Have fun at college. I know you’ll go far.

    Your Buddy,
    Hotspur

    PS: I never meant to throw up in your lap after the prom. Send me the drycleaner bill.

  98. I think that while Lapeer Creek is on their winter break, we should get screenshots of the senior yearbooks.
    This could maybe be a spin-off series. Just imagine what DH has to say at this point…

  99. Leon, thanks for being a pal for four years. You never seemed to mind me looking over your shoulder when we were having tests. In exchange I think you appreciated me showing you how to cruise chicks. You earned two diplomas – yours and mine.

    Good luck at college. The chicks there are easier because they can’t hold their beer. They do barf a lot, tho.

    You were correct, Mr. Olin is an asshole. Sorry you got suspended when he heard you tell me that before algebra class.

    All My Best,
    Hotspur

    PS: Let’s keep in touch.

  100. Last night on our tour of Ireland. Had dinner with the others in a pub. They had a jukebox. Somebody played Mmm Bop, by Hansen. JTFC. I queued up Anemea by Tool, and Closer by NIN. Nobody knew Tool. Lol bunch of ignorant kids. I wanted Conditions of my Parole, but no dice.

    Bruised leg where Penelope keeps hitting me so I won’t call out their Liberal bullshit.
    Quote of the day “taxes can’t be too high….” That level of stupidity should hurt.

  101. Dammit, this has a lot of potential but I have chores and a convention to go to.

  102. Pepe, what you ask an asshole that says stuff like that is, “How much extra do you send the govt. every month?”

  103. Dammit, this has a lot of potential but I have chores and a convention to go to.

    Bronycon is all weekend. You can go pony play later.

  104. Say, HI! to the Furries from me, Leon.

  105. It’s a gaming con and I’m scheduled for an event at 8pm.

  106. My yearbook is a bunch of variations on

    “2 Cool
    +2 Be
    ———
    4 Gotten”

    and one nasty bit that offended my mom enough that she called the boy’s mom about it. He better not ever run for office. Mom wanted him to pay for a new yearbook.

  107. Leon, is it wargaming?

  108. Dear Hotspur,
    Thanks for covering for me when I was late to trig class (Mr. Besson never did figure out what you did to the overhead projector) and for buying hot chocolate at every football game. Good luck in the Navy and anchors aweigh!
    Love,
    Roamy

  109. U-Con. I’m doing a table RPG. I think there’s some wargaming happening, but I’m just doing this one event. I have some friends I haven’t seen in the flesh in almost 2 years.

  110. Dear Roamy,

    My little brother paid a dollar to see your panties in the boy’s bathroom.

    Have a great Summer!
    Alex

  111. That movie could never be made today.

  112. Dear Alex,
    It was $5, and I showed him your mom’s.
    Hugs,
    Roamy

  113. https://is.gd/zlDJdW

  114. http://tinyurl.com/yaye2sc4

  115. https://imgur.com/gallery/IMnfe

  116. Dear mare,
    I will forever curse myself for a weakling for not asking you to prom. I imagine Lord Byron was thinking of someone like you when he wrote the lines “She walks in beauty, like the night/Of cloudless climes and starry skies/And all that’s best of dark and bright/Meets in her aspect and her eyes.” But I did enjoy smelling your hair when I sat behind you in chem class. Sorry if that was weird for you.

    love and kisses,
    Sean

  117. Leon, what movie?

  118. https://is.gd/lm6p3h

  119. https://is.gd/jJeuIP

  120. Why not 890?

  121. Roamy, Sixteen Candles. My panties line was a reference to that film.

  122. Ah. Haven’t seen Sixteen Candles.

  123. Roamy, we had some laughs, didn’t we?
    You’re the only one that ever gave me a Valentine – all four years. I still have them.
    When you get to college, just remember what I showed you – the smartest guys aren’t the ones with the highest grades.
    Go Vikings!
    Always,
    Hotspur
    PS: is firehydrant your real last name? I want to be able to write.

  124. Dear Any Hostagettes,

    You don’t know me. You spent four long years walking right by me and looking right through me. The only time you ever acknowledged my existence was that one time I needed to use the pay phone to get my mom to bring me some new pants but you were already on it. When you turned around and said, “Hit the road, maggot breath” I knew I’d rub one out in your honor as soon as I got home.

    P.S. I had to pay your friend,’Susie Rottencrotch, $20 for five minutes access to your annual to write this. Best money I’ve ever spent. ❤️❤️❤️😍

  125. Pup – that’s some awesomely awesome awesomeness –

    I’d vote for her for president in a heart beat

    *says prayers for nay sayers*

    *scries the fall of the chicken bones*

    *redoubles the prayers*

  126. https://is.gd/FfnrGQ

  127. How NOT to use a hyperextension bench…

  128. Senator Ron Jeremy should step down.

  129. The Ron Jeremy jokes kinda write themselves. That’s why I avoidd that story.

    Totally unrelated, but I have to prepare for maybe the first fistfight I’ve had in 35 years or so.
    Dude – it’s only $400 you owe. Don’t threaten me…

  130. I bet Senator Ron Jeremy served in Viet Nam.

  131. Furthermore, Senator Ron Jeremy always puts the toilet seat down after taking a piss

  132. Senator Ron Jeremy is going to have a difficult time deflecting attention from this scandal by coming out as gay.

  133. Did you guys have Slam Books at school?

  134. Two episodes of Punisher. Blah blah Dan works at 5AM, I need to learn patience, other garbage comments.

  135. https://is.gd/T9Eail

  136. Lapeer creek is in full swing. DH is texting erin apologies. Dark horse and snow flake are both over right now.

    I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to report tonight. Once this glass of wine is gone I’m going to sleep.

  137. That is unacceptable. 1) We don’t have a soundtrack for tonight’s episode. B) There are no cliffhangers on Lapeer Creek.

  138. Tonight’s soundtrack is Tool’s version of the Led Zepp classic “No Quarter”.

    The cliffhanger is that erin just left somewhere with her entourage.

  139. Can ya’ blame me for feeling homesick
    ‘Cause I’ve been away such a very long, long time
    I served a while in the county jail
    Five years for, for being hungry derp and poor

  140. It’s dead week here, I fear.

  141. Waiting for a train in Barcelona. With any luck I’ll be at the hotel by 7pm. What’s with all the girls here with weird colored hair?

  142. Lapeer creek is in full swing. DH is texting erin apologies. Dark horse and snow flake are both over right now.
    I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to report tonight. Once this glass of wine is gone I’m going to sleep.
    ———————————-
    Good to hear we’re back on. I was getting a bit worried.

  143. Dreary weather today. Trying to muster some enthusiasm for chores and just not finding any


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