Eggplant Faceplant

I haven’t had eggplant in quite some time. Other than eggplant parm or baba ghanoush I really don’t know what the hell else to do with eggplant. In the world of emojis the eggplant is the symbol for male genitalia. Fancy that.

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This song brings back memories of a girl named Leslie from Manchester By The Sea

penguins

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Eggplant really seems like a vegetable best served in a mixture to disguise its true taste. I bet it doesn’t crack most people’s Top 10 Vegetable list.

Happy Thursday!

 

 

175 Comments

  1. BTW, that Eggplant song?

    Ghey…

    Sometimes music is enhanced by the power of pussy

  2. eggplant has a whole lotta ick factor for me –
    i’m guessing it was something teh debbil slipped into the mix as the erf was formed

  3. visually unappealing –
    http://tinyurl.com/y7zronsg

    it evokes a “who the hell let the cat vomit on the plate again???!!!” kinda reaction

  4. i grew a bunch of them in the garden a couple of years ago…. just because. they never made it inside; i gave them all away

  5. nice musical selection –
    wiser prolly will approve

  6. I’m going to have to post at Mothership today. This is such bullshit.

  7. When I worked as a dishwasher at an Italian restaurant I got to see the fry cook get the eggplant slices breaded and fried before handing them to the line cook. He’d cheese them, pop them in the oven and then sauce them before yelling ORDER UP!

  8. I missed the AoS kerfuffle yesterday since I was among the walking dead after 2 hours sleep. Was it a character assassination Laura?
    If so, accurate or off the mark?

  9. It was sad and unfortunate and I will be correcting the record.

  10. I had to go and check. Man, that had to hurt something fierce.

  11. I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole groping thing. I don’t think I know any women who haven’t been grabbed or touched at some point. It’s not because a lot of men are like that- they aren’t. It’s because the few guys who are total swine, are so prolific and habitual about it. If there’s 1 of them to 100 women, they eventually get around to us all.

  12. I don’t read much of the HQ stuff anymore –
    but this is kinda funny….
    “her crush on Chester the Molestor and issue her own apology.”

  13. not sure if my wife has ever been groped; i’ll have to ask –
    a couple of years back some dude made a comment about her chestesses –

    it was quite eloquent-
    while staring at her bewbs he said “Daaammmm”

    i still laugh about it –
    so does she btw

    *she was wearing a sun dress

  14. That happened to me when wife was a bridesmaid at a wedding. Boob leering guy saw me after he said it and then told me how lucky I was. He was smashed and had no impulse control by then, and still managed to only look and comment. He wasn’t exactly swine, just impressed.

  15. wakey wakey

  16. I had a workplace groper a couple years ago but I didn’t tell anybody. Because my job was to move about the whole store, and he worked in one department, I was able to simply avoid him most of the time.

  17. So if Weinstein molested Malia 0bama and she comes forward, what happens?

  18. And who’s next? Geffen? Schumacher?

  19. Mornin’. All these crises, mine and others, are really wearing on me these days.

  20. I hope there is a ‘next,’ and I hope it involves the pedophilia that Corey Feldman talked about years ago. It’s past time some consciences came clean and and started saving some children.

  21. Twitter suspended Rose McGowan. I’m sure it’s unrelated.

  22. Corey has talked about this in interviews. He can’t say anything because of the statute of limitations until a more recent victim comes forward. Under CA law he could get nailed for slander.

  23. Isn’t it illegal to have an NDA that requires you to not report a crime? I don’t get how people think they are bound by these contracts. Wouldn’t that be the same as joining in a conspiracy to hide a crime?

  24. Someone explain Rick wilson to me. For some reason I had followed him on Twitter, but he’s got full-on Trump derangement 24/7. Repeating every liberal smear.

  25. Were any actresses flown to NYC or LA for “meetings” with Mr. Weinstein? Were any of those actresses underaged?

  26. you have to wonder if the parents of the kids that were molested ever have regrets for what they put them through –

    weren’t there whispers of creepy stuff being done to brooke shields back in the day?

  27. btw i’m not blaming the parents for the animals actions….

    just the lack of reaction

  28. Yes there were.

  29. in re the Brooke Shields comment

  30. as a dad of a daughter, i can say there would be a race between me and law enforcement to see who got to the pos first.
    and i’m not being hyperbolic

  31. There are a lot of scumbag parents out there who will convince themselves that the rumors aren’t true, that their kid is lying just to get attention, it’s no big deal, etc. because the money is too good.

  32. The 2 Coreys deal makes me sick. I know it’s just the tip of the iceberg. From what they said themselves, they were passed around to lots of Hollywood higher up men when they were very young. It’s a cesspool and it needs millions of gallons of water and bleach.

    And when people use the line (to deflect away from themselves), “It was an open secret!” I want to puke.

    Remember the creep in England, the TV personality who molested tons of kids? It seems as though lots of people knew.

    That happens quite often. People just don’t make the accusation and confront the POS (with their fists or a shiv preferably).

  33. Lauraw, what did Brooke Shields say? Just a paraphrase will do.

  34. Comment by leoncaruthers on October 12, 2017 8:20 am
    Twitter suspended Rose McGowan. I’m sure it’s unrelated.

    ——-

    That is unfricken believable. Twitter execs also live in a cesspool.

  35. Some parents want fame so badly – through their kids – they will ignore unpleasantness. it takes a certain type of parent who push their kids into these things.

  36. MJ, have you shared any baby pics yet? If so, someone needs to email me some.
    ————————-
    Need your email address.

  37. I don’t know if she ever said anything, but I remember hearing rumors about her. I think it was when that movie came out where she was a kid living in a whorehouse and people were wondering if her mother had lost her fucking mind.

  38. I tried to send them last night, but then realized I didn’t have an email handy.

  39. 2011 interview with shields
    http://tinyurl.com/yc6srntz

    she said she wasn’t harassed

  40. Pretty Baby. I’ve never seen the movie but it sounds gross.

  41. I’ve had my junk or butt grabbed more times than I can remember.

    Semi-drunk gay dudes and young girls…and older ladies come to think of it, are all hands.

    *grabs therapy dolls

  42. …and older ladies come to think of it, are all hands.

    That was a DARE.

    /glares at lauraw

  43. Johnny Depp beat the shit out of his wife in a drunken stupor.

    He’s currently starring in Disney movies.

    Nothing will change.

  44. I remember being repulsed by that, Lauraw. Didn’t see the movie but what the hell parent would do that? And Jodie foster in Taxi driver. There are a lot of thoughts to unpack on that one.

    I’ve claimed based on what they themselves say, that many women “become” lesbians after abuse. Jodie Foster? Child actress…..

  45. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Especially if there is no video or sound recording of this alleged incident that never happened if there is no documentation.

  46. [you told me he was sooo drunk he wouldn’t remember?!!???]

  47. Ben Affleck is a terrible actor. And he’s ugly.

  48. Part of my later post will address the fact that nothing will change.

  49. A fat chick touched my shoulder once at a party. I was later told that she was very aggressive and not known for high standards.

    Twice in my life women have wanted to touch my muscles. Never my butt, always arms/chest/abs.

  50. You shut up, MJ. You just shut up. Ben is beautiful. You can knock his acting, because he’s dumb as a stump, but his looks are cute and I swear to God I will let Carin grabble you again in your swimsuit area.

  51. In my defense, it was a $10 bet. She gave me a $20, and I didn’t make change.

  52. I’m kind of enjoying the complete crushing of Hillary Clinton for her actions/response/interview about Weinstein.

    She’s an absolute pig, like Harvey. She would sell her soul for a buck. And has.

  53. * hears evil laughter *

    Uh oh. She’s up to something.

  54. Part of my later post will address the fact that nothing will change.
    ————————
    I expect a full citation and royalties because it was my idea first.

    Any who will be beating your floor sander while you’re going to write this magnum opus to Ben Affleck?

  55. I knew it!

  56. Spot on about the guys. It only takes one, the rest of us are tarred forever.

    Mrs Jay got groped on New Years Eve once. She dumped an entire pitcher of beer in the guy’s lap, charged him for it, and kicked him out. The guy went to complain to the manager.

    Unfortunately for him, that was me.

  57. Oh, and this was at 11pm on Dec 31st, and it was 10 degrees outside.

  58. Twitchy Team‏Verified account @TwitchyTeam 5m5 minutes ago
    More
    ‘When I was much younger…’: Actor James Van Der Beek is the latest Hollywood star to say he was groped

    ———–

    Dawson’s Creek.

  59. Good on Mrs. Jay, Jay.

  60. Spot on about the guys. It only takes one, the rest of us are tarred forever.

    We’re the only group left you can’t get pilloried for generalizing from the sins of a few. Hell, we can’t even admit general trends from certain demographics anymore.

  61. Race and gender don’t exist!
    White men are evil!

  62. A white man killed this poat.

  63. I was off writing a mean letter to Ace.

  64. We just finished painting. I think Scott is planning on doing the floors over the weekend. Just in time. Our friend is moving in at some point next week so we need to be moved back into our room then.

  65. Wiserbud got kicked out?

  66. WiserGoddess would never kick him out. I’ve asked her about it and she claims she loves him and that the kids are really his.

    I know, I know. Mind boggling.

  67. Jeez.

    I’m watching Hannity interview Trump from last night.

    He sounds…normal. Like he actually knows what he’s talking about.

    Hannity is still a turd, though.

  68. He must have something one her.

  69. I bet if you covered your eggplant in braunschweiger, it’d be better.

    *NOT a euphemism.

  70. I always imagined wiserbud lived in a neon blue Suzuki Samurai parked under a bridge.

  71. Nah, that’s just his ‘place of business.’

  72. I’m going to make this tonight. https://peasandcrayons.com/2016/09/cheesy-garlic-parmesan-spinach-spaghetti-squash.html

  73. Ok, today is my last “rest” day before a really busy week. I’ve been slacking something awful this entire week … and I hate myself, but the next 10 days are going to be cray cray

    Work Tomorrow
    Sat -Soccer game
    Sun – Soccer game
    Mon- Work
    Tuesday- Orthodonist appointment in Ann arbor for E, then QOTSA in Deatroit
    Wed – denist – more scraping
    Thurs- Surgery for Ethan
    Friday – work
    Sat Soccer game
    Sun Soccer game

    Also, apparently Erin is having some gathering HERE this Saturday.

  74. I don’t think I’ve ever been groped (except by Mr. TiFW), but I am so short that most of the guys in high school and early college were too tall – they never saw me coming, and when they did, the only thing they saw was the top of my head.

    Come to think of it, I DID get my hair “tusseled up” quite a bit in those days…..

  75. Oh, and I think I found the cause of guys’ problems:

    “….mutations in the MTHFR gene….”

    Who knew?

    (Seriously, though, one of my HS friend’s daughters had a spontaneous Vertebral Arterial Dissection a few weeks ago. This phrase was in the Wikipedia write-up about VAD; I saw it and immediately thought about you degenerates 😜).

  76. Hi all – been slammed at work the last few days, and now I am home with a sick kid (allergies like a mo’fo) – Napa fires – while 2 hours away – are blowing smoke right into the valley and on top of my house. Air is gross, and the kid can’t leave the house without meds and an inhaler.

    Fun times.

    Also. I think most women have dealt with a handsy male pig at some point. I sell ads – deal with lots of car guys – you can only imagine. Never got to the physical, but you learn how to disarm them. Also, had a HS teacher who would always come behind me in class to look over my shoulder and try to get eyes down my shirt. Asked me out after I graduated and came home from college.

    Most guys will stop when called out for it. Bonus points if others are around and you can shame them in a group setting.

  77. And, just want to say THANKS to y’all – I’ve lurked at AoS HQ for I can’t even tell you how long. Never really worked up the courage to jump into the comment threads, but that place has kept me sane through a lot of political stupidity. The cussing and jokes were totally a bonus. You all have had a part in that, whether as COBs or in the comments that have kept me laughing and informed for a lot of years.

    SO THANK YOU!!! I’m so glad Jazz brought me here and you all have been so welcoming. Bullwhips not withstanding!!!

  78. I’ve never been fondled (except by Mr TiFW…..and it was magnificent).

  79. I mostly grope myself, since no one else will grope me.

  80. MJ would totally grope you.

  81. Yeah, I’ll do it.

    C’mere xbrad!

  82. Well, PG, you know how those small-town Texas boys are.

    Mr. TiFW was voted “Most Gullible” his senior year in high school (with a picture in the yearbook to prove it) – someone probably told him that your ‘nads were really boobs….

  83. I was voted Most Likely to Play Doctor my senior year…

    Groping is fun, both giving and receiving, but it is limited to the hubby nowadays

  84. Good Lord

    Really??

  85. Comment by Hotspur on October 12, 2017 3:05 pm

    OMFG – he has been the worst of the Trump picks

  86. OK, so I’m thinking of showing my current WP avatar the door–gotta spruce up the stylings time to time, y’know. Knowing full well this is a massive mistake…any suggestions…?

  87. Definitely not a pumpkin in a tree.

  88. Oh yeah. I forgot about our halloween avatars!

  89. We’re a total mess without Cyn.

  90. And yet, we soldier on as best we can.

    I’m due for a new avatard myself. I’ll switch after All Saints Day.

  91. Tomorrow we sand.

  92. “Tomorrow we sand.”
    =============
    and for the next 2 weeks, you sweep, dust, and vacuum.

  93. Tomorrow we *pound* sand

    Fixd

  94. Open all the windows and run the leafblower.

  95. Cover the vents.

  96. At least he wasn’t a “Mohammed”.

  97. Wow.

  98. Campos means “fields” in Spanish. Paddock is another word for yard or field…

    Tin hat time.

  99. Where is Jack Ruby?

  100. Jesus, man.

  101. LOL

  102. Fake news……I saw CNN and fell for it/

  103. https://is.gd/4tVJDF

  104. I liked this post:

    The Big Myth About Dirty Jobs, Minimum Wage, and Illegal Immigration

  105. No one tell Carin about this one weird trick to earn tips

    https://is.gd/jov1ZD

  106. Hahaha

    Ace is really throwin’ down with Laura. Put the hurt on him, missy.

  107. what am I missing?

  108. He keeps accusing her of having the hots for Ben Affleck. It’s pretty funny.

  109. Where?

  110. At Huffington Post.

  111. Ace of Clubs.

  112. Thanks. For nothing. @@

  113. Comments? which post. God I hate you people so much.

  114. It started in his 8:28 poat last night.

  115. It started in last night’s post at 8:28.

    He threw another jab in his last post.

  116. If I ever say something is funny at Ace’s, assume it isn’t in the comments. I almost never read them anymore.

  117. Okay peoples, baby pictures can be sent to guinea_5 at yahoo dot com.

  118. LOL Laura took the high road.

    How disappointing.

  119. Your mom was blocking the low road.

  120. Hotspur, I need your help! Gwenyth Paltrow is a …

  121. CU_T

  122. Can anyone tell me WTF actually happened in LasVegas besides 59 people enjoying a concert getting dunned down? How many shooters? When did Paddock register at the hotel? Did he shoot a weapon through his own door? Phone records? Money records? Gambling transactions? This shit should be known within 24 hours. Wtf is going on? This is fodder for conspiracy theories.

  123. Correct, Scott!

  124. Gunned down! Stupid autocorrect!

  125. Vegas is a mess.

    Nobody will believe anything that comes out of this investigation.

  126. Truly screwed up and I think on purpose, Scott.

  127. I trusted the FBI before Obama.

  128. Friend and I were talking about it today. So many conflicting stories out there. My friend thought the guard he shot at ruined whatever his original plan was. The whole tannerite stowed in the car thing is why he thinks that. And the holes in the tanks with 5.56 rounds from a guy who had enough money to buy a 50 caliber Barrett rifle or even RPG’s.

  129. Had a long day. Mower threw a rod (it’s a loud explosive sound) and the right side of the engine blew out.

    I had a minor bit of PTSD, but then I realized I live in the world’s safest cul de sac.

  130. Then I’m up at the gun club and my ford decides to shit the bed.

    Dead battery. Got it jump started and made it home.
    No big deal, just swap out the battery, phat thought stupidly.

  131. i’ve changed engine head gaskets that were easier.

  132. Podesta’s SIL is the FBI agent in charge of the LV investigation. (Adjusts tin foil tiara) Cruz is right. Americans will never believe in the Rule of Law again if Hillary is not indicted. FBI investigation into NCAA basketball coaches, vendors, and investment groups are a big nothingburger as long as CGI pay to play is condoned

  133. Batfleck’s early movies before he got his teeth capped and veneered are mesmerizing. Gums gums gums.

  134. Terry Crews has PTSD from media coverage of abuse. Terry Crews!!! I’m in good company.

  135. Oso, please post a dachshund pic. This has been a crap day and I need to smile a bit.

  136. The only thing that can salvage this shit show of a day is if the Cubs lose.

  137. I served with Terry Crews in Iraq.

    Wait.. I didn’t. No one did. Because he’s an athlete who became an actor.

  138. Why are they leaving Hendricks in?

  139. Sorry about the crap day. I have no linkfu. We’re in KC for Steelers/Chiefs on Sunday.

  140. My 14 year old dachshund is a freak. She shakes, shivers, and anxiety yawns from the minute we leave the Condo until we get to Pet Paradise. Lobby at Pet Paradise…a miracle occurs. She is the softest, sweetest, bestest dog ever. GOAT. All the counselors adore her.

  141. Phat, I don’t mean to diminish PTSD. It has become a catchall phrase for any trauma that continues to re establish itself by being triggered by sense memory.

  142. Pam Geller says that all the phones/laptops returned to the Vegas Shooting witnesses have the pictures/vids of the incident wiped. The FBI is building a story and wants no conflicting pictures/evidence.
    I would not be surprised if this is true…

  143. Chrispy, I’m thinking he was entirely ISIS radicalized and the FBI does NOT want that little nugget mainstream..with the most deaths in American history .

  144. ISIS has claimed credit multiple times.

  145. Casinos deny providing hookers for high rollers eleventy. Ability to do business at stack. This guy: Hooker in pic. Hooker in room. High roller. Nothing to see here.

  146. Well, they do need to pass some gun control. Kinda like they tried with Fast/Furious.

  147. People control

  148. Had a long day. Mower threw a rod (it’s a loud explosive sound) and the right side of the engine blew out.

    I know that’s pretty traumatic and shit, but I’m glad it was your mower and not that Boeing that you drive during your day job.

  149. I still believe I killed my dad. Hospice lifted all morphine measuring at the end and I just gave him morphine every time he seemed to be in pain. Increased night terrors in addition to my regular freak outs. Being with Dan’s mom in her final days feels like I’m killing my dad all over again.

  150. You did not kill your dad, Oso. He was dying and you were keeping him comfortable. That’s why they lift it at the end.

    My friend’s mother had the same order. Lung cancer at 56. Couldn’t breath. Going through tanks of oxygen like xbrad and gym socks. Panic setting in. She grabbed my friend by the shirt and gasped ‘help me’. They gave her a sedative. When it knocked her out, they removed the oxygen. Seeing her mama like that, she got over any guilt she may have had.

    *hugs to you*

  151. Can’t imagine that kind of pain at the end.

    My FiL goes through spates of depression over his body beginning to fail him. He feels no pain. Just weak. I get it, but dude, you have made old bones with no pain. Quityerbitchin over the low-salt diet. I can’t have dairy and my f*cking shoulder makes me want to cut a bish.

    (I don’t give him shit unless he starts talking stupid….like o’ding, or thinking that if he doesn’t take his meds, which help keep him out of the hated hospital, he’ll die quicker. )

  152. And now, we zzzzzz…….

  153. Awww…little Black and Tan baby. Thanks Beasn. It is a guilty burden that I carry. I’ll never know how much time that I cost him. Woulda coulda shoulda

  154. Awww…little brown and tan puppers

  155. Oh, and a few months after my friend’s mama passed, I dreamed about her. She was checking in. I gave her a hug, told her I was sorry, but she was all good. She was herself and in her kitchen where we used to sit and shoot the shit. Woman cussed like a sailor.

  156. Dan arranged for last rites for his mom. Hospice nurse, social worker, and chaplain have been keeping us informed. We already had Steelers/Chiefs tickets. Dan drove beyond his old man endurance. Our rental car needs an IT degree to figure out. Braum’s, Billy Sim’s, and whatever tomorrow brings.

  157. Pretty sure if he was on morphine and they stopped caring how much he took, he didn’t have very long. Maybe days at the most. Pretty sure you didn’t want to see him suffer the whole time. You loved and cared for him and his comfort. Maybe talk to a priest and forgive yourself.

  158. Beasn, after my dad passed, he visited me and asked me to make sure I wished Zach a happy birthday. I’d been estranged from my bro and his kids for 11 years. I don’t know their birthdays.

  159. Beasn the difference between the intellectual and the emotional. I know that the anti-hallucinogens and the morphine was for his comfort. It was just surreal listening to him talk to his dead family and being encouraged to drug him through it.

  160. Did you wish Zach a Happy Birthday?

  161. The emotional because you miss him.
    And it was good thing his dead family was there waiting.

    I’ve got some dead family but I didn’t know them. I have a dead piggy family.

  162. I did. I prefaced it with a “This is really weird but your grandfather wants to wish you a happy birthday”

  163. Both of his ears are pierced. It’s his last year at Georgetown Law. Gay? I don’t know.

  164. 30 years ago I was groped by a coworker that groped another coworker. He was Muslim. Coworker was AA. We both reported to AA female APE. HR was off. APE called cops. Situation treated as assault. By cops. Target was scrambling. Fired APE. Fired groper. Tagged me and other accuser.

  165. Muslim groper: She was wearing pants. Only whores wear pants.

  166. Way back in 1987, Target believed Muslim males over American females.

  167. I know I’ve talked about this before. Those that weren’t abused sometimes have deeper scars than the chosen ones. Lower self esteem. More self flagellation

  168. I always joked that it was too bad my original abuser was family. No Catholic lottery. No Harvey Girl money. 😜

  169. Dale enjoyed reading Peanuts.


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