Me Me Me Meme

 

Hotspur:

 

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I put this on facedouche, but I share here because I care. Also, because it’s truthy.

 

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194 Comments

  1. *gawks at Lauraw’s gourds*

    Right there in the picture window.

  2. They are glistening in the sunshine right now.

  3. I have a funny or two to add. That ok?

    /doesn’t wait for answer

  4. LOL….bird meme…and hotspur about to get a cap put in his ass.

  5. https://is.gd/TXGjXI

  6. That was a perfectly good piece of cake. Who’s going to lick that off her face?

  7. https://is.gd/IX6yuf

  8. https://is.gd/2PSxvR

  9. OMGosh how flipping sweet is this?

    https://imgur.com/gallery/06Lxqju

  10. This post is great and the fact that it only has this many comments is an indictment against all of you. Not me. But you.

  11. Remote Control Phteven cracked me up. So true, every time…

  12. how bout them cyclones?

  13. That little boy has to be around age 3.

    *remembers beasnson’s sweet little face at that age*

  14. I’ve cared for a couple of similar kids Beasn. They get stuff done and wonder what all the fuss is about.

    Back in St Louis I had a one arm cheerleader break her regular forearm doing a back handspring. No pressure… Who am I kidding, I was shitting bricks. She did great fortunately

  15. So I’ve got a bum arm, half the stove doesn’t work properly, my ipod may have died, and the microwave has expired. You don’t know how much you depend on a microwave until it goes tits up.

    We will be shopping for one before the weekend is up. I really like the bed-buddy heating pad thingie that needs to be warmed up in the microwave a lot better than the electric heating pad I went out to buy last night.

  16. I’ve cared for a couple of similar kids Beasn. They get stuff done and wonder what all the fuss is about.

    Yeah, the ones I’ve seen were the same way. They don’t know any other way and they adjust very well indeed.

    I just love that age of that little boy. I’ve seen the same look on my son’s face when he was intent on helping out. He was a good big brother too, up until his sister turned five. Then she became annoying to him.

  17. So, I’ve been doing loooong fasts and then trying to work out. I don’t think my body has adapted yet. I did 5 miles and it kinda sucked. I don’t know how much longer I’ll keep trying … so far I’m not seeing any huge benefits from loooong fasts.

  18. heh isu with the upset

  19. Tomorrow I will finish wall prep.

    Then all I have to do is paint the ceiling, paint the walls, sand the floor, stain the floor, seal the floor, seal it again, and then move all the furniture back.

    Looks like I have one week before work gets crazy again.

    * hums Mission Impossible theme song *

  20. Dog fight in the backyard, I had to break it up. Nessie and her buddy were riled up about another dog across the way, and took it out on each other. No blood no foul but it was a close thing. Once the adrenalin starts they don’t recognize friend or foe.

  21. YAY ISU!

  22. 83° and windy.

  23. We have gobs of these fucking stink bugs. I must kill 50 a day. I read that they’ve only been in Michigan since 2010.

    Fuckers.

  24. It’s like that here, Hotspur, but only when it’s above 80.

    I squished over 100 last Sunday.

  25. ISU was a 31 point underdog. Holy smokes!

  26. Hi.

    Today sucks, but I still have huge junk, so there is that.

  27. Huge junk? That’s not what your mom said.

  28. Did that huge junk dislodge any of the bullwhips you were packing?

  29. I’m so glad jazz is back

  30. scott, don’t forget to do your stretches before and after all that painting above the head shit. And then apply some heat.

    *grumbles at farking arm*

  31. Went to the hardware store to look at appliances. Gotta decide between white and stainless. Are there any benefits in going with stainless (which likes to show off fingerprints)? I do like white and simple and knobs (SYWM).

    Have to replace the microwave, the oven, and the dishwasher (which still works fine but the racks are rusting out).

  32. Stainless increases the resell value of your home. That’s pretty much it Beeashdjflfskdlfhs.

  33. Neighbor apologized for the dog kerfuffle, he encouraged getting the dogs together even though I told him Nessie was a effing maniac. We have a new policy, nobody lets the dog out without treats, treats are given when other dogs appear.

  34. I am almost cured, beasn.

    It’s been 4 months and I am about 90% fixed.

  35. I like white appliances too. I don’t know why stainless got to be such a popular thing. Especially after cleaning an entire row of SS display fridges, most of which had fingerprints that reappeared after a normal cleaning.

    There’s a cleaner you have to use on those, which is basically just a very light oil which dissolves/displaces the oil from fingerprints. Many stainless finishes drink up oil and that’s why the fingerprints are so stubborn on them.

    It’s just a stupid material for household appliances. Enamel is better.

  36. Beasn, your overhand carry of MDF is probably what did it, or at least that is the same maneuver (with sheets of plywood) that did it to me.

    MDF board is frickin’ heavy. Moving that stuff is work for bulls, and you shouldn’t be doing it.

    I’m about three or four weeks behind Scott’s healing schedule. The last time I had a minor ‘grabby click’ painful shoulder episode was about a week and a half ago. I had the night-time ouchie wakeups for a long time before that but they are gone now.

    It takes months.

  37. https://is.gd/JxDeCr

  38. The 2nd mouse gets the cheese.

  39. https://is.gd/TOxMgr

  40. Mich State !

  41. I was surprised at how heavy MDF was. I helped carry it underhanded but I think I may have tried to nudge it at one point to move it into place…and while it didn’t budge, my tendons did. It started off kinda achy and just built to full-blown WTF!…AFTER all the painting, hand-scrubbing the mud that was smeared all over the floor, before tiling. Tiny tears build-up over time to serious inflammation.

    If this ever clears up, I’m going to look into doing some yoga and daily stretches. This sucks. I had Mr. Beasn scrub the tub and am going to have to teach him how to braid hair or just get the 3 year’s growth cut into a pixie.

  42. I have found one and a half comfortable positions to sleep in. On my side with a pillow propped just so in the afflicted arm’s armpit/shoulder. After four hours, the hip starts hollering for me to move. So flip to back, arm extended at a weird angle. And you have to flip most carefully to avoid any possible jerking/twitching, no matter how tiny.

  43. As regards the stainless, I’m leaning towards the white. Just a fresher look. Not sure stainless appliances would add that much to the value of the house. And unless we come into some money or get grandkids out of state, we’ll probably be here another 10 years or so.

  44. hmm, can’t get your link to work, wiser

  45. Well, the new Will and Grace is using every single buzzword you can imagine.

  46. It’s nice that you feel secure with us that you can come out of the closet, Jay.

  47. Heh, that show was hilarious. Now, not so much.

  48. I was born a tiger
    I always had my way
    Nobody’s gonna change me
    This or any other day
    Don’t let me hear you argue
    When I say “derp,” you jump
    ‘Cause a woman ain’t been born yet, they can play me for a chump

  49. I just remember the Weird Al lyrics,

    “But I only watched Will and Grace one time, one day.
    Wish I hadn’t, ’cause TIVO now thinks I’m gay…”

  50. oy!!

  51. i bought a new cutter head for one of my planers –
    installed it and now the planer is making a weird grinding noise…. dagnabbit

  52. time for a hot tub soak
    some coffeeefffee
    then onward to another glorious day

  53. yesterday was amazing – the weather is gorgeous

  54. I know, I just looked at the temperature and did a doubletake. 74 degrees! But there’s a long line of weather coming. After sunrise I have to get out there and pick out all my ripe toms before it rains.

    First frost should be in about a week but I don’t see anything under 50 degrees overnight in the long range forecast.

    We’ll see. Some years the weather changes suddenly and we go from tee shirts to fleeces in a matter of hours. And long range forecasts are divined from astrology and throwing chicken bones.

  55. I managed to get 4 1/2 hours straight sleep last night. A new record as of late. Woo. Hoo.
    I may have to give Melton n another try…

  56. Huh. Apparently my phone is gay and wants to give some guy named Melton a go instead of trying melatonin first.

  57. Picked a plastic grocery sack each of tomatoes and pole beans. I’m gonna pickle the beans, I think. Loving the fermented dilly beans. I wish I had a cold place other than the fridge to keep them. The back of my fridge is filling up with cold pickles of various kinds.

  58. I hate you all so very much.

  59. Don’t make me put on this little grey wig.

    I’LL DO IT.

  60. Scott is still abed, like all you lazy slackers that are leaving me hanging.
    I’m thinking of measuring the bedroom right now and going to go buy my primers and paints and an extension for the roller.

    But if I go, there will be something I forget because he couldn’t tell me because he is asleep. And that will mean two trips anyway.

  61. Dilemma.

  62. You could BAKE COOKIES and slide THEM into bed next to him. That’s always a nice surprise for a hard working man. OTHER THAN a bunch of painting, WHICH IS ALSO VERY NICE.*

    * this comment has been edited for spelling, clarity, and meaning by LW. You’re welcome.

  63. Hm. I’m going to fix all those spelling mistakes you made. BRB

  64. Up and had to drive an hour for soccer game.

    Wakey

  65. OK, I helped you out there some, PG. No need to thank me.

  66. Heh.

    Morning misspellers.

  67. Waiting in the car because I hate these people

  68. https://is.gd/2BXPSB

  69. Erin just saw her first family of completely burka covered folks. Little girls. Women. Freaks.

  70. That’s always a nice surprise for a hard working man.

    https://is.gd/PpYIzd

  71. That’s always a nice surprise for a hard working man.

    https://is.gd/Cqb9Ul

  72. Who wants to take in my teenage daughter for the rest of this school year? She directs all her misery at me, because …?

  73. ” little grey wig.”

    hahahaa i read that as little gay wig – wth

  74. I love the deer one.

  75. chichi – have you tried 5htp?

  76. “”https://is.gd/PpYIzd”

    i raffed

  77. “completely burka covered”

    oi

    & the proggies love this shit – ‘cuz it’s so progressive and stuff

    i’m seeing more of the 6th century showing up in this little burg that i live in.
    it’s the visual equivalent of the music that starts just before the maniac jumps out and starts his mayhem in a horror flick

  78. where’s leon?
    groomin’ his shroom?

  79. z

  80. Who wants to take in my teenage daughter for the rest of this school year?

    Will she shovel snow? This is a deal-breaker.

  81. She has no physical impediments that would make her unable to shovel snow. But I can offer no guarantee.

  82. It is supposed to be a horrible winter for the middle parts of the country.

  83. Raining like a mofo here.

  84. We all drive AWD or 4WD vehicles now, with newer all-season tires.

    If I could only convince Boy1 to find a jerb a little closer to home, I feel we are ready for whatever southern canada has for us.

  85. https://imgur.com/gallery/fDs47Eg

  86. Awww.

  87. https://imgur.com/gallery/BZ08QZQ

  88. *suspects Pendejo didn’t mention cookies that one bakes*

  89. Hey Leon, check out the name of the library from the book thread:

    Library of Festetics Palace, Keszthely, Hungary

    Sooo close.

  90. I’ll have to look into that 5htp thanks jam. Had never heard of it until now.

  91. I actually suggested that LauraW surprise her husband by waking him up with her lusciousness. She evidently has body shame issues that she’s not ready to talk about on H2

  92. I think Lauraw just uses weird euphemisms.

  93. Well, there is that oozy hump….

  94. hyki6 vgr,lyb,d[m
    dm
    ldsyl
    bmy
    dn

  95. body shame issues

    Not possible. I’m a giant warty hunchback. Everybody wants some of this.

  96. huhn

    my keyboard looks like it was hit by a meteor

  97. unpossible

  98. /cyn

  99. http://tinyurl.com/ycqztg28

  100. the leafses on the walnut tree are starting to fall in earnest…

    ’twas a great summer

    super happy i got to meet some hostages and ib’ers & and do some fishing in the rockies

  101. I saw Oozy Hump open for Ozzy at Dirtfest.

  102. time to close the pool

  103. Who wants to take in my teenage daughter for the rest of this school year? She directs all her misery at me, because …?

    I have the same issue with my daughter. She’s recently turned 25. Never had a problem with her in her teen years. Late bloomer I guess. So can’t wait until the next batch o’drama kicks off in March or thereabouts. She said she doesn’t want to renew her contract with the current school. Problem is school districts present contracts before they post available jobs. She can’t just line something up first unless she plans on totally leaving the school setting (which actually has a good matching retirement fund here in MO).

    She’s been wanting to move to the town her boyfriend lives, which is smaller than the one she lives in now. I say she gets a job near here…lives in her old bedroom for a fraction of the cost of an apartment…and makes that boy grow the f*ck up and come to her – make his intentions known/try harder to get a better job.

  104. Better yet, turn the clock back 2 years and she takes the rehab jerb an hour north of hear for twice the pay. If the boyfriend was meant to be he would have gotten off his ass and done something to be near her without shacking up. Yes, that was brought up as a ‘hypothetical’ and it triggered an argument of green-fisted proportions.

  105. ‘here’

  106. Well, there is that oozy hump….

    Better than waking up to a dry hump, trust me.

  107. Beasn, what does the boyfriend do for a living?

  108. Shouldve those that to wake the husband up with your go evening gourds.

  109. Damn you, autocucumber!
    Glistening is a word!

  110. Alex, I think he does something along the lines of ‘detailing’ at a car dealership. Can’t remember what it’s called exactly. He’s working towards a position that supposedly pays real well (not sales). Pretty sure he could have done that without going into debt with a double major in philosophy and poli-sci. Pretty sure, even with that double-major, he could have sold himself to a better job than this one, had he fire in the belly.

  111. Don’t know the amount of his debt and beasnette won’t tell me. Says she doesn’t know. Umm…o_O

  112. Heh. VP Pence just said FU to the NFL. Walked out on an NFL game in his home state after players knelt during the anthem. I love it.

  113. Good for Pence.
    Did he walk out with both middle fingers saluting?

  114. Good for Pence.

  115. This is ripe for the SJWers to ruin

    http://nypost.com/2017/10/07/couples-compete-for-partners-weight-in-beer-at-annual-wife-carrying-contest/

  116. Boy, Scott picked the right year to quit the NFL, the Giants really, really suck. I swear, Eli looks like he has brain damage.

  117. Maybe he’s planning a lawsuit.

  118. Maybe he’s planning a pantsuit.

  119. I should go to 5:00 mass but my hair is a rat’s nest and my husband flunked hair braiding. My son said I should don a do-rag.

  120. Put on a babushka.

  121. Great idea, HotsyTotsy! Especially on a day in the high 80s.
    Though it is pretty dang cold in the church.

  122. It’s 80% humidity and we already decommissioned the AC. Tropical storm tomorrow and more balmy weather.

    Faaaack.

    I think Scott is gonna do a sloppy/temporary window unit install in the bedroom, or we aren’t going to be sleeping.

  123. Two sloppy installs because that is how I roll.

  124. That ought to be worth some cookies.

  125. I like cookies.

  126. Mind your glistening gourds.

  127. Speaking of which, I just used translate to find out that my fancy French winter pumpkin Galeux d’Eysines, actually means ‘Mange of Eysines,’ or ‘Eysines Scabies.” Probably due to it being covered with little bumps.

    Everything sounds so nice in French.

  128. *gazes at my bumpy little French scabies-gourds in the bay window*

    I’m not sure I can eat these sumbitches now.

  129. French scabies-gourds or her hump is multiplying.

    Be afraid. Be very, very, afraid.

    You should take a family picture.

  130. I’M NOT FRONCH

  131. The French term for gonorrhea is “Hollandaise of Venus.” Google it.

  132. *retch*

  133. I, for one, will welcome our new Humpy overlords.

  134. You might not be Fronch, but your hump might have some in it’s family tree.

  135. “la bosse française”

  136. The hump is actually what remains of my nonliving parasitic twin brother that I mostly absorbed in the womb when he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about college sports. So, no worries about French lineage. Phew! A lucky stroke!

  137. Mostly?

  138. Tropical weather system numero deux was, once again, nothin’ worth talking about…

  139. I’m down to 1 NFL game a week. How about everyone else?

    KC unbeaten makes it hard to not watch.

  140. Ditto. (except for the KC part)

  141. I’ll still watch the last 5 minutes of a close game and claim I didn’t watch it. #packerscowboys

  142. I’m about done. Watching Steelers-Jags today, every single player that made a play popped up and mugged for the crowd-cameras with a little choreographed dance move. Enough already. Every catch. Every tackle. First down. ENOUGH.

  143. I watche Alabama football, and that’s it.

  144. Did anyone else watch ISU beat Oklahoma?

  145. The new Kia commercial where they run over the rubber ducks drives Elliot nuts. So funny.

  146. Still bitterly clinging to the Pats. This could be the year Father Time and the cruel NFL gods finally catch up with Tom Brady. A small part of me remains convinced they’ll turn it around but it’s becoming harder to believe with every game they play.

  147. His luck is going to run out.

    It’s not a game for 40 year olds.

    (no offense Car in)

  148. There’s a name for people who still watch the NFL. I’ll let you all decide what it is.

  149. Oldest kid is staying over a girl’s house tonight a couple of miles away with 5 or 6 other kids. Paula asked him if he still had the condoms we bought him and when he answered no she sent him to the corner store to buy condoms. He was gone way too long then came back with a funny story and a pack of condoms. The girls who are going to be at the house were at the store buying soda and snacks for the get together and he had to tell them why he was there. He told the store clerk “My over protective mother made me buy condoms because I’m staying at a house where there’s gonna be girls”. And the girls heard him talking and piped up “Yeah, and we’re the girls”. We thought it was pretty funny even if he didn’t.

  150. I’m about done. Watching Steelers-Jags today, every single player that made a play popped up and mugged for the crowd-cameras with a little choreographed dance move. Enough already. Every catch. Every tackle. First down. ENOUGH.

    What little time I spend watching pro football I usually end up saying to the TV, “All you did is tackle the qb/make a first down/deflect a pass/score a td/etc. It’s been done before. Get your fuckin’ ass back in the huddle and play.” It doesn’t seem to be having any effect other than Mrs. Pendejo telling me to shut my piehole so she can hear the commentators.

  151. She’s trying to fill your piehole with cookies.

  152. Sox beat the Astros today and within a minute Paula’s phone was blowing up with ticket broker offers. She asked me if she should try and get some to go with her stepmom who is just as diehard of a fan she is. I said sure and she got a pair of tickets on the 3rd base side. She was all happy until she go an email about 15 minutes later that said the game will begin at 1:00 if the Yankees win and otherwise it’ll go at 7:00 PM. We’re finding ourselves in the strange position of rooting for the Yankees because 7PM start time is rough for driving back to the Bangor area from Boston.

  153. *gets off PG’s lawn*

  154. Bangor area and general vicinity.

  155. ” She’s trying to fill your piehole with cookies.


    he’d prolly rather have warm pie….

  156. co ed sleep overs are a thing now. Moose is usually cuddled up with the boys.

  157. or a non-oooozzzzing auto-cucumbering hump

  158. Oldest kid is staying over a girl’s house tonight a couple of miles away with 5 or 6 other kids. Paula asked him if he still had the condoms we bought him and when he answered no she sent him to the corner store to buy condoms. He was gone way too long then came back with a funny story and a pack of condoms. The girls who are going to be at the house were at the store buying soda and snacks for the get together and he had to tell them why he was there. He told the store clerk “My over protective mother made me buy condoms because I’m staying at a house where there’s gonna be girls”. And the girls heard him talking and piped up “Yeah, and we’re the girls”. We thought it was pretty funny even if he didn’t.

    On a scale of 1-10, if MJ wasn’t happily married to a lovely girl and the father of a new darling baby and into felt and googly eyes, would he smash?

  159. moose is ghey?

  160. oi

  161. I didn’t realize Pendejo was such a cookie fan.

  162. We haven’t seen these females yet so it’s anyone’s guess where they rate on the conventional attractiveness scale. I think one of them works with the boy at McDonald’s.

  163. Warm cookies and ice cold milk have won over many a man

  164. If they are sluts, jimbro, your wife is smart to be diligent.

  165. Aside from not being anywhere near being able to support a child he doesn’t need drippy dick. I tried to convince him of the wisdom of wearing a jimmy hat by describing how they take a urethral culture by sticking a Q-tip in your penis. I might have exaggerated a bit to make my point but I have no guilty feelings.

  166. Nearly done with day 3 of 3 on call. So far it’s been a no hitter. Bed time for early office tomorrow.

  167. The French call drippy dick “la tour mélancolique.”

  168. The French call drippy dick “la tour de votre mère.”

    Fixed for H2

  169. Jimbro,
    Anita asked me to ask you about one of her “Total Hip” replacements.
    It’s 19 years old and, if the thigh is lifted above about 40 degrees there is an audible and palpable “click”, as if something is going ‘over center’.
    Her orthopods are retired, so she went to a new one, ‘In Network’.
    His attitude seems to be;
    “We’ll wait for a failure and then fix it.”
    She asked if she should avoid motion that makes it click.
    “Do whatever you want. If it dislocates, we’ll fix it.”
    I’m like – WTF, O?
    Does that smell right, to you?
    It kinda pisses me off…

  170. COMPTEZ VOTRE TOUR

  171. Oh sure,
    I’m typing my question for Doc Jim and he signs off to sleep.
    FML…

  172. He’ll be up bright and early. I think he answers poats while he’s washing up for surgery.

    I could be wrong, though.

  173. I got schooled on a “Your mom” joke today. Apparently that’s old. Ex-girlfriend is the NEW punchline.

  174. Are there any other orthopedic doctors in network you could get a second opinion from, Crispy? Because that guy’s attitude seems kinda shitty.

  175. I just think you told it wrong, oso.

  176. I didn’t realize Pendejo was such a cookie fan.

    I was not that big of a cookie fan until LauraW edited my early morning poat in order to avoid addressing what I thought was a perfectly acceptable suggestion to her as to awakening her slumbering spouse. Since then, I’ve been Mr. “C is for Cookie”. Evidently.

  177. I got schooled on a “Your mom” joke today. Apparently that’s old. Ex-girlfriend is the NEW punchline.

    Fuck that. They don’t get to dictate whether their mother is going to be the butt of the joke or not. Little micromanaging motherfuckers.

  178. Seriously, just because this kid’s mom sold him to a donkey show for eight bucks worth of sherm doesn’t mean he gets to change the punchline because his pussy still hurts about it.

  179. Seriously, just because this kid’s mom sold him to a donkey show for eight bucks worth of sherm doesn’t mean he gets to change the punchline because his pussy still hurts about it.
    ——
    I’m glad Sean’s UC degree in English provided some return on investment. Because that’s a thing of beauty.

  180. I will continue to make the inappropriate “Your mom” joke and I don’t care what the Millennials have to say!!! Thanks guys!

  181. Balloon Fiesta week. Blergh. In addition to Spanish, I helped people with heavily accented English from Brazil, France, Brussels, and Texas today. 😂😂😂😜

  182. Mila is from Czech Republic. Thought Texan was asking for “Gay jewelry “. Lots of hilarity ensued. He was looking for “Guy” jewelry. BIRM

  183. My concentration was in Modern Literature, but I took a Junior Seminar on Insult Comedy.

  184. Don’t mistake life for a secret
    There is no secret part of you
    You derp your life if you think wicked
    Someone else is thinking wicked too

  185. i had to look up “sherm”

  186. You don’t regularly smoke PCP-laced cigarettes? C’mon, jam. Get with the party

  187. i know – right
    must be my monkey privilege

  188. did leon have a slip / fall injury at horse shit acres?

  189. wakey wakey

  190. No, just a very long Sunday.

  191. Chris, it sounds like the poly liner has worn out in Anita’s hip. The polyethylene is the weak link in the system and over time it will degrade due to normal wear and tear. If this is a new development for her 19 year old hip that’s the most likely cause. Over time there has been incremental improvements in the poly based on new composition and sterilization techniques but it remains susceptible to wear. They’ve tried alternate bearings including ceramic and metal on metal (MOM) but they each have their own unique mechanisms of failure. So called poly disease is the result of the synovial tissue responding to microparticles of poly wear and can lead to component loosening from the surrounding bone on both the femoral stem and acetabular cup side. “Waiting for a dislocation” seems like a cavalier approach and assumes having a dislocation is a benign event which it’s not. Pain, insecurity about movement after the dislocation, periprosthetic fracture and loosening of the components can all occur not to mention potential sciatic nerve injury. If the assumption is that the liner is worn and she is not a candidate for liner exchange because all the components would need to be revised he should have just said that. The other possibility is that he doesn’t know what components were used in her hip and/or they no longer manufacture poly liners for that version of hip in 2017 and he wants her to keep going until the hip fails. I’m not sure if the insurance scheme (scheme or scam?) you’re in incentivizes him to operate or not operate but that may be a factor in the decision making process.

    TL/DR: Get a second opinion.


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