Hello spooners and herders, welcome to Big Boob Friday.




Your model for today is a college student from Portugal, a little light internet stalking reveals little statistical information, I can confirm the absence of the typical porchy pornstar mustache and and prehensile tail. Please stretch your calves and welcome, Miss Carolina Neto!




  1. Nice!

  2. Wowza!

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  3. The cat model made me lol.

  4. Scott’s hurricane prediction better hurry up and happen, it’s not looking good for us.

  5. She doesn’t look like an imbecile. Weird.

  6. really nice joob pup!!

  7. marez-e-dotes
    i think Hawaii calls

  8. my cousins in law (is that a real thing) have boarded up their place and have headed north

  9. Time to go outside and get the scorpion salsa started, then feed animals.

  10. Fifty-C*nt and Helen’s Reddy were the threadwinners.

    Wakey wakey

  11. I liked Derp Purple.

  12. My cousin boarded up their Hobe Sound house (intercoastal) and headed inland to my uncle’s house. They boarded up that place too, but apparently they’re hunkering down. They’re in Stewert.

  13. Sean’s Derp last night was superb. And good advice, too.

  14. Cooking now, carefully. Even stirring with my hand in the steam might be risky.

    I think this lawn chair is as old as I am. It’s got a wooden cross beam and wooden arm rests. It was left in the garage in my old house and i brought it with us when we moves here. Never stopped to ponder its antiquity before.

  15. I’ve been selling my nursing school books on Amazon. Last night I dreamed that I found two unshipped packages in my vehicle and that Amazon was going to hold my money and drop me. Oh and also that I lost my phone.

    Waking up and realizing I’m not actually a giant fuckup loser is awesome, every time.

  16. Fack. I just remembered my daughter tasked me with getting her new soccer cleats today. Fack fack fack. I guess her old ones self-destructed.

    She has a tournament in Petosky this weekend.

    1) haircut
    2) clean out garden by front door
    3) mulch ^
    4) buy soccer cleats

    I’d better get drinking this cup of coffee.

  17. Do you mean Stuart, FL?

  18. Yes, that.

  19. I’ve actually never been to their place. I usually go to my cousin’s when we’re there.

  20. But from what little I know of it, it doesn’t seem like a terribly safe place if they get hit.

  21. *starts chugging coffee

  22. They have a place in Georgia. I don’t know why they didn’t all go there.

  23. At this point where can you go?
    Is gas still available?

    Hotels are probably booked for 500 miles.

  24. Yes, the Florida governor, Rick Scott, is excellent (except for his DACA bullshit) and his been on the news talking about escorting gas tankers, getting national guard, working with other states to be ready to move in to help with electric, etc. Water has been coming in from all over. He’s got this nailed down. And our attorney general gave anyone price gouging, what I consider illegal threats. She actually said, “I will destroy your reputation.”

  25. Florida news stations are constantly giving updates on traffic flow out of the state.

  26. I just saw a helicopter picture of about 40 tanker trucks in a row moving into Hillsborough county.

  27. Price gouging is good. It’s an important mechanism. First of all it incentivizes provisioners to stick around in dangerous areas. They take a risk, they should be rewarded. Otherwise there will be serious want because nobody will bother trying to be there to sell stuff at all.

    Second, it discourages hoarding and makes it more likely that everybody will get at least a little of what they need instead of a few assholes who clear the shelves for themselves.

  28. Need moves markets. This is why it is difficult to sell ice to Eskimos. The inverse is also true.

  29. GNDs family left FL a few days ago. Took close to 20 hours to get to GA, no gas available, and no hotels.

  30. Where did they decide to go? Since there are no hotels.

  31. The state has coordinated with google maps for real time road closures and whatnot.

  32. She’s mighty cute.
    Good werk.

  33. This girl could make my travel team.

  34. Ohio. They have family there.

  35. Wow – she looks real and attractive. Very nice.

  36. Pretty girl. Nice smile. She’s natural beauty.

    Who’s the master gardener around here? Laura, Leon, car in? Heck – everybody, I guess…
    What are these? Just stole some from the neighbor’s yard. They showed up one day a few years back and just keep multiplying. Bulbs. Pic is horrible but they’re bright red.

  37. Some kind of spider lily?

  38. I only know vegetables ‘n’ herbs ‘n’ shit.

    Seriously, I know a lot about manure for gardening.

  39. She seems nice tits.

  40. Huh. Do see lily seems to be correct (quick Bing search). Thank you. I had never heard of such a thing.
    Hope I didn’t hurt them while digging the bulbs mid-bloom.

  41. I think I saw those flowers on an episode of Star Trek once.

    Probably killed some fucking ensign.

  42. Sadly, it wasn’t Wesley Crusher.

  43. Got 3 pints of salsa for the canner.

  44. Coffee tastes much better made with rice milk. (shut it…no dairy)

    Last, and only other time I had coffee, was a few sips when I worked early morning shift at fast food between high school and college.

    Just had a half cup.

  45. Do NOT put almond milk in coffee.

  46. It looks like I’ll spend two or four weeks in Oct in Germany.

  47. Why not leon?

  48. Just looked over last night’s thread and saw Teresa’s post.

    Question for anyone or Teresa, if you are looking in, hon. Why couldn’t they remove those usable organs before taking her off the ventilator, when it has been shown there was severe brain/heart damage and known the life support was keeping her alive? Too much a slippery slope thing?

  49. It tastes awful, beasn. Something in almond milk doesn’t go well with coffee, ends up really bitter.

    CoAlex, do you speak any German or will you be winging it?

  50. Beasn, my guess is that harvesting vital organs from a living person – however injured – is legally murder, and should remain so.

  51. What’s wrong with almond milk?
    I don’t think I’ve ever tried dairy alternatives (soy, almond, rice milk), but I’m not big on milk.
    I keep a quart on hand to make a bechemwl now and then. Or in the winter months I consume a lot of widow eggnog.

  52. Almond milk is fine on its own, just not in coffee.

  53. No German, I’ll just have to wing it. I guess I can always shout “nein!” While pointing and they’ll get the gist of it.

  54. CoAlex, make sure you practice your goose-stepping and saluting with your arm out at a 45 degree angle. They really dig that.

  55. Also, Check out “Castle Wolfenstein” for popular German phrases like “Mein Leibe”, “”Au! Das tut weh!”, and the ever-popular “Achtung!”

  56. Sorry, that should be “Mein leben” (my life) not “Mein Leibe” (my love)

  57. “Hogan’s Heroes” is also good for pointers.

  58. DuoLingo for German is pretty good as far as it goes, but gender is super-f*cking complicated so you might want to read about that on your own. I had 3 years of it in high school and another 3 in college, and the Duo course has been enough to get me back to where I was at the tail end of that.

  59. CoAlex, my husband has gone many times to Germany, on business. He also has some family there, whom he has visited on those trips. He understands the language so long as they are speaking directly to him and slow. He can barely speak it.
    He says most Germans, who he’s dealt with, spoke enough English for him to get by.

  60. I’d go with “ich bin ein Berliner” all day.

  61. Just checked the evacuation orders for my uncles house: “Martin County: Mandatory for barrier islands, manufactured homes, and low-lying areas beginning Saturday “. That’s where my florida family is. My cousin’s house is on one of the barrier islands, and my aunt/uncles’s house is further inland.

  62. Stuart doesn’t look protected to me. It’s right on an intercoastal.

  63. Pay speaks perfect (high) German.


  64. Beasn, my guess is that harvesting vital organs from a living person – however injured – is legally murder, and should remain so.

    I figured that may have been the reasoning but thought in her case, with them having restarted things with life support, it may have been an exception.

  65. Beasn – I’m tracking with your thinking. I’m of the thought that she was gone before they restarted things. I hope this isn’t hurtful for Teresa that I write that. /ethical discussion

  66. Soccer cleats procured.
    Haircut gotten
    Mulch picked up and it’s garden time

    OH and Rant about stupid hospitals . Pretend I wrote it all out. I’m really too frustrated to go into it right now.

    I’m gonna blame fucking Obamacare.

    (can’t schedule an MRI for Ethan until who the heck knows when because they are all filled up)

  67. Car in, Mr. B. might have learned to speak it too, but when his kindygarten teacher complained to his parents that he would answer questions in German, they cut back on speaking it around him and his brother (who understands/speaks it much better).

  68. I hope this isn’t hurtful for Teresa that I write that. /ethical discussion

    I worry about that too, but it’s a good conversation to have regarding donations helping others and educating the ignorant like myself. I don’t know the ends/outs of the ethics of organ donation and what could be tweaked/refined without slipping down the slope.

  69. “Three Equifax executives sold shares worth a combined $1.8 million just a few days after the company discovered it had been hacked, according to documents filed with securities regulators. Equifax said the three executives “had no knowledge that an intrusion had occurred at the time they sold their shares.”

    Of course they didn’t.

  70. So, I learned TWO things already today.
    Spider Lily’s, and the fact that what I’ve been calling bagworms for years are actually ‘tent caterpillars.’
    I’ve chopped out every nest that I can reach in the pecan tree with a 20′ pole saw & 7′ stepladder. Still plenty that are out of reach. Trying to get my buddy to stop by with his 85′ bucket truck, but he won’t show up, I’m sure.

  71. I hate those things Chi.

  72. Just deleted my twitter account. FU twitter.

  73. I tried to borrow a pole saw when I saw only three nests so I could keep them under control, but my buddy is a loser tweaker and never brought it by.
    Yesterday, I borrowed one from a neighbor – more than 20 nests down, and there are at least two dozen I can’t reach.
    I hate those things with a passion…

  74. COrrection, I just TRIED to delete my account. FU twitter.

  75. My understanding is that any organ harvest must take place in a person who is clinically dead. In the modern ICU era this can be difficult to define. Arbitrary definitions exist which are debated by medical ethicists and can change over time. The 60 vs 90 minute debate is one example.

    There are ample articles out there if you search “ethics of organ transplantation”. Many of them discuss living donors in kidney transplants especially in prisoners (see China) and with new knowledge of potential adverse long term effects in living related donors.

    Michelle donated what she could under the conditions that existed at the time and the recipients will benefit from her gift.

  76. Do NOT put almond milk in coffee.

    Almonds have tits?

    Just deleted my twitter account. FU twitter.

    Twitter deleted my twitter account for me. It seems someone objected to me claiming that the hellhole that is now the entire Middle East is due mostly to Obama being a gigantic pussy. They say they’ll reinstate it if I’ll give them a phone number, but that shit ain’t happenin.

  77. Huh.
    I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a Twitter acct. I’ve never done twit or bookface or any of that social junk, but being unemployed, I get bored and check Twitchy these days. Seems like trolling the Lefties ALA Sean Spicier could be a lot of fun.

  78. Other than looking at the emails I get from Twitchy and the one from twitter containing tweets from 5 or 6 people I follow I don’t look at it otherwise. If a business lists a twitter account I’ll follow them every once in a while but never see their tweets.

  79. I guess my butthole killed another thread?

  80. It’s workout o’clock, Chi, at least at my house.

  81. Kid pick up. Now it’s tea time.

  82. About dog walking time.
    I need to take the polesaw back to Mr. Bill, anyway.
    If I say the word “Izzy” I think Tucker might wake up…

  83. They say they’ll reinstate it if I’ll give them a phone number, but that shit ain’t happenin.

    It seems all the social media bagworms want your phone number. Facebook keeps bugging me for mine and when I went to create another twitter acct and yahoo account, they wouldn’t let me without a phone number.

  84. I get all of my breaking news from Verrit.

    Only someone like Hillary! would try to script an unscripted event or formalize crowd sourcing.

    She has the worst judgement of anyone in public life, ever.

    But I’m sure this 659th reintroduction will promise to show the real Hillary. Which is lovely, I’m told.

    Poor loser.

  85. I’m beginning to wonder if she’s under duress. She can barely function and isn’t an extrovert. Is someone holding a gun on her for cash or something?

  86. Fuck me. Tried to cut out two more nests of caterpillars. Just fell off the top of the ladder.
    If BC powders, advil & a bourbon don’t kill the pain, I may need to visit Patient First. Shit. I’m poor and don’t have insurance…

  87. HTFF does Sessions get away with not charging Lois Lerner???

    Everyone in politics is a POS.

  88. Smack yourself Chi, for not having a spotter. If you broke something, you’d probably be puking right about now.
    (Everyone I know, who has broken a bone, felt they were gonna barf.)

    But yeah, if it’s bad enough, you may want to get it checked out. I’m sorry.

  89. mare, the swamp is an island of princes, held in esteem above all else outside it’s borders. They protect their own.

  90. A lot of people paid a lot of money to the Clinton Global Initiative and now they’re pissed.

  91. And I’m getting crankier by the minute. Didn’t sleep well, ragweed levels are high, and I did something to the tendon near my right shoulder, which is painin’ me. I’m ready to slap a few bitches.

    I feel the need to make some chocolate pudding. Which I will then proceed to eat all of ….and then feel even worse for being a fat ass.


    “Barbara Man-a-teee, you mean the world to meee….”

  92. Maybe those pissed donors should play the Clinton mafia game with the Clinton mafia.

  93. Thx, beasn. Judging by past experience, I’m guessing a broken toe or two (yes, my dumb ass was barefoot as usual), maybe a cracked rib, and i bumped my noggin on a lawn chair pretty good.

    If I start posting anything coherent here, tell me to go get checked for a concussion.

  94. Tried to pin an article from thereligionofpeace dot com. Pinterest which is part of F*ckerbergistan is blocking their content for ‘nudity’ and ‘inappropriate content’.

  95. Don’t discount the idea that Hillary has literally nothing else to live for. Bill has his own life. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Chelsea wants nothing to do with her.

  96. Entirely plausible, and it fits my perception that literally no one on Earth actually loves Hillary as a person.

  97. Don’t discount the idea that Hillary has literally nothing else to live for. Bill has his own life. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Chelsea wants nothing to do with her.

    Huma looking for another horse to hitch her wagon to?

  98. Huma is looking for some sweet almond tit

  99. Gross.

  100. I just shared the Irish dad chasing the bat video with my family who all thought it was hilarious. Now I’m getting a text storm from my Irish cousins.

  101. Anyone have a link to Irish dad video?

  102. I’m beginning to wonder if she’s under duress. She can barely function and isn’t an extrovert. Is someone holding a gun on her for cash or something?
    Grifters gotta grift.

  103. Dad video:

  104. blerg. I’m getting irritated.

  105. It was at Ace’s the other night, now making the rounds elsewhere

  106. I’m with CoAlex. She has literally nothing else to live for. And she probably believes the horseshit she peddles to some degree.

  107. Crap. When did they change the track?

    West coast now. Not good for Mare.

  108. I’m mad at my neighbor right now. He dragged home two Chevelles today, and won’t sell me the ’68. Bastard.

  109. That was pretty good Roamy.
    Didn’t Terence Trent Darby do a version of that in the 80’s? I know I’ve heard the song before…

  110. I guess I can always shout “nein!” While pointing and they’ll get the gist of it.

    There’s a story about Wernher von Braun that made the rounds. Five nines reliability on something usually means 99.999% certainty that it’s gonna work like it’s supposed to. Most of the senior managers here were Operation Paperclip Germans. So, von Braun explained that when he wanted five nines, he would call the director of structures lab and ask, “Is there going to be a problem with (fill in the blank)”, and that guy would answer, “Nein.” Then he would call the thermal engineer lead and ask him, “Is there going to be a problem?”, and that guy would also answer, “Nein.” and so on.

  111. No idea, Chi. That and “Finally Friday” by George Jones are my go-to songs on the drive home.

  112. Jerry Pournelle has passed.


  114. ‘Sup, jagroffs?

  115. Sorry to hear that, CoAlex. I have several of his books with Larry Niven.


    I would bet you that if he ran for governor, he would get elected.

  117. wiser – you could try that

    i’d vote for you

  118. of course if i was drunk enough i’d even vote for the muppet

  119. As of Wednesday, we have canned 53 pints of ‘Blue Lake’ green beans. We picked again today and got another 15 pounds…

  120. I’ll buy four pints.

  121. Mare, go east!

    Miami is where you want to be.

    I knew that forecast was bullshit.

  122. I would bet you that if he ran for governor, he would get elected.

    Chamberlain 2018 – He’s GRRRRRREAT!

  123. Query, should I be an asshole about the Chefs win, or act like I belong in first place?

  124. Both

  125. I would bet you that if he ran for governor, he would get elected.

    Honestly, the people criticizing him are full of shit. I’m willing to bet at least one of them likes to beat their partner or be beaten.

  126. 😳😳

  127. Jimbro is the doctor, right? And Car in is an RN?
    Shit. I just started throwing up. Maybe because of too much aspirin & advil & a couple bourbons, but is that a sign of concussion??
    Shit. I hate googling medical advice, but I guess I have to…

  128. Lauraw is nurse. Jimbro is Dr. I don’t think Advil and alcohol is a good mix.

  129. Maybe it’s ibuprofen and alcohol. IDK

  130. Mesa is hunkered down on the West coast of FL.

  131. Owning comments. Y’all need to watch Narcos on Netflix. Season 3 is OM Cali

  132. Oso Birthmonth is still a dealio. Rib eyes tomorrow and Slider Sundays on Sunday. Still trying to get a dessert out of this, but Dan is being all “diabetes” on me. Pumpkin bundt cake y’all

  133. The skyline waits for the derp
    The skyline waits for the fall
    But you shouldn’t have come at all

  134. Advil IS Ibuprofen. Acetaminophen (Tylenol) and alcohol is the killer. i won’t have acetaminophen in my house. That shit should be illegal.

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