The Motherf@*#ing Clam Report


Do fish have a cloaca? Asking for a friend…


Some people don’t like clam chowder. Or plays on words.


Eaten. Enjoyed. (that link is a little disturbing)





Sounds like everyone had a grand time at Carin’s place. Still wondering where MJ is today. “In transit” is only gonna buy you one, max, two days for an alibi so you better hope he doesn’t rise until next spring.


  1. This poat seems to need a comment.

  2. Everyone seems to have clammed up

  3. Soccer. Clams were awesome

  4. Muddling my mint sounds a bit like tossing his salad.

  5. I’ll make some chow-da later

  6. I didn’t know Leon was into Ice-Cream Scoop play.

  7. I steamed some Friday with garlic, butter, and white wine. Those came out great. I thought the smoked ones the following evening were just okay. But I’ve been eating clams all summer, so.

  8. Ice Cream Scoop Play reminds me of The Aunt Jemima Treatment

  9. I don’t judge CoAlex.

  10. I didn’t know Leon was into Ice-Cream Scoop play.

    Glad to see he finally came out of his shell.

  11. Well, at least they’re still able to laugh in the face of disaster. Probably renting the place.

  12. I’m voting the friday clams. Saturday was good, but they were bigger and chewier. still more than edible.

    don’t know what would have happened if we had to scoop ice cream.

  13. steak and shake is good we stop there all the time

  14. burger and fries under $4, great shakes

  15. I am being so antisocial right now. Sitting in my UP until the last minute before the game starts. I hate these people.

  16. culver is another good one

  17. I don’t know how car turned into UP

  18. I have one crossfit friend but I don’t see him here

  19. I was wondering why you had to go to the UP for soccer. maybe cuz it’s another country?

  20. CARin UPcar sounds classy.


  22. Electrical connection to the lights is solid… but not to the brakes. We’ve got some work to do.

  23. Finally got tomato-basil sauce cooking down for canning, though, so I’ve got that going for me.

  24. MJ was alive and well when I last saw him, in case anyone is keeping track.


  26. Just talked to my second cousin – her parent’s house is completely under water, as is her brother’s house.

    Her brother and his family spent the night on their roof; they had to lie flat a couple of times because tornadoes were in the area. He sent his wife and kids off on a boat this morning. They haven’t heard from him, but they are guessing that he can’t get his phone to work.

    My best friend from HS is dry, as are my aunt (the one in hospice) and my uncle (who is refusing to leave his house).

    If anyone is interested, KTRK in Houston has good live stream coverage of what is going on down there. It’s a shock to see how much water is under some of the overpasses there – can’t begin to imagine what it is like to actually be in the middle of it….

  27. Eesh. How far in from the coast are they?

  28. Greetings, clam enthusiasts.

  29. Most of the creeks around us have made the bridges impassable.
    But the local Chinese place is making a killing being the only place open.

  30. I hope you and Mrs. Peel and Aaron are safe, Will. Make sure to ask for extra mustard for your egg rolls before they run out.

  31. Leon, they live in a town called Friendswood – it’s near the mouth of the Houston Ship Channel:

    I grew up in La Porte, which is closer to the water – it allows excess rainfall to go back into the bay.

    Friendswood and Dickinson are further inland, but not by much. They took on a lot of water with this storm, and they are closer to sea level elevation than LP is.


    teh skunk still rolls on….

  33. I have 5 bullwhips stashed in my Camry.

  34. Hey, Jam, thanks for all of the bull whips. Some of them looked used.

  35. stuffed in my Camry.


  36. Ha! Hotspur didn’t read it right but made it even dirtier anyway! Well done!

  37. I have 5 bullwhips stashed in my Camry.

    I thought you use the back of an ice cream scoop for that.

  38. Mare, you would have had a blast. It was a great weekend.

  39. Two new euphemisms in one weekend – is that a record?

  40. There is some pretty cool stuff in the Toledo Art Museum.

  41. Hope you got to take in the Corning exhibit and other art glass related stuff.

  42. Well, El Greco was from Toledo, so…

    Wait, you mean Toledo, Ohio?

  43. Craziest thing I learned today was that glassmaking began in Mesopotamia around 3500 BC.

    I would have guessed 17th century.

  44. I thought it was common knowledge that glassmaking was known back in the roman empire. I guess not.

  45. I hated all things history and avoided it for most of my life.

  46. I think that means you’re doomed to repeat making some kind of substandard flower vases, scott.

  47. If it’s still on YouTube, there’s a great old BBC series called Civilisation that’s really worth watching. They talk about the origins of glassmaking, which is the only reason I knew.

  48. * purchases carnival glass plant *

  49. home again. Long drive.

  50. Not historic by any means, but I caught a Dale Chihuly exhibit a few years back.
    Some really beautiful stuff there.

    That guy has an eye for art glass.

  51. just in time for Game of Thrones!

  52. 1) it was a wonderful weekend, thank you everyone who came and put up with me.

    2) apparently MJ did go missing. /looks innocent

    3) YEA! J’ames made it home. I have his beer. Life is good.

    4) I love everyone who came.

    5) Profit.

  53. 6) I need “someone” who starts the cooking stuff for me early, possibly while I’m still stuffing my face at lunch

  54. Erin had a college recruiter at the game today who is interested in her.

  55. I had 4 hours alone with her today to impart my wisdom. Hopefully I got somewhere. STOP SQUANDERING YOUR TALENT.

  56. MJ’s just trying to get me in trouble.

    I’M INNOCENT. I didn’t do NUTHIN

  57. That new garden has nothing to do with his visit/disappearance.

  58. I hate you all so very much.

    But I had nothing to do with MJ’s disappearance.

  59. HugelMJkultur mound. Please plant kale in him it.

  60. 4 quarts of tomato-basil sauce in the pressure scanner. Waiting for steam.

  61. Nice Beemer Car in.

  62. Next meetup gets catered, we all chip in? An idea.

  63. News reports keep saying that 11 trillion gallons of water have fallen on Houston.

    Who the fuck knows how much water that is?

    I’ll tell you. The ocean that Dave fell in? …… Long Island Sound?

    It holds about 18 trillion gallons and whales live there.

  64. Were we able to confirm that MJ had life insurance before this trip? Whose job was it to subtly elicit this information?

  65. and if our math is correct, picture a rain gauge that has a footprint of one square mile.

    There would he 8 miles of rain in that rain gauge, and the storm is only half over.

  66. Erin had a college recruiter at the game today who is interested in her.

    Notboyfriend has competition? And an older guy to boot.

  67. Really? Not one response to my Chihuly joke?
    That was funny, dammit.

  68. It would help if we weren’t mostly philistines, Chi.

    (I had to look him up.)

  69. Hold my juice box

  70. I hate you all so very much.

  71. * goes missing *

  72. Who the heck is Dale Cholula? Does he make hot sauce?

  73. Okay,
    for those that missed the joke:

  74. Nice Beemer Car in.

    Thanks. I just found it in the woods, surrounded by poison ivy.

  75. HugelMJkultur mound.

    That’s a clam-shell mound. I swears.

  76. ere we able to confirm that MJ had life insurance before this trip? Whose job was it to subtly elicit this information?

    GND should have known. I mean, seriously, we told her about the muppet thing, right?

  77. Facebook status…..

    “I’m not one to ask but I’m needing prayers for my sister in-law I was driving my mules and the wagon had to had flipped on it’s right side due to much weight and road was crowned on the right she fell out and got drugged and ran over by the wagon half of her foot is gone looking at reconstructive surgery on her foot mules and everyone else is ok thank you y’all”

    and he is serious.

  78. You know, I have his phone number. I’ll just call to make sure he’s ok.

    ba haaa haaaa haaaaa ….

    Seriously. I made it all the way through that with a straight face.

  79. I feel bad for the guy’s sister, but does this mean we have to stop making fun of the Amish on Facebook now?

  80. I’m impressed with the complete lack of punctuation, Sean.


  82. Comment by leoncaruthers on August 27, 2017 10:44 pm
    Who the heck is Dale Cholula? Does he make hot sauce?

    In the future, everyone will have their own brand of hot sauce.

  83. I shall call mine…Sean’s Spicer.

  84. Heh.
    The “Sean Spicier” parody Twitter account is pure gold.
    If you haven’t seen his trolltweets, you should check them out some time.

  85. That is GND’s beemer. It’s only fair that I drive it back out to Indiana and console her.

  86. And by the way, in the serious community of art glass artists, Chihuly is a dick face. All show, no real art. It’s like a monkey who figured out how to heap its feces twelve feet high. It’s impressive for sure, but it ain’t art.

  87. Also, by the way, Carin did an awesome perch dinner and a prime rib dinner, and would not let anyone pitch in.

    Best I could do was buy her lunch yesterday.

    Scott and Laura brought awesome clams.

    I agree with the catering idea.

  88. And finally, if you can sit with Jay when he laughs and not break out into laughter yourself, you’re sick in the head. It’s infectious.

  89. Hate you all so very much.

  90. Ohio is serious about glassworks. Heisey and Libby. Pottery too.

  91. Too lazy to contemplate a NM meet. Pretty sure Pepe is the go bag GTFOOD meet

  92. He is pretty close to Scott’s Gila scenario

  93. Pepe posts knives we can’t afford. XB is doing MRE comparisons. Moron Yelp. IYKWIMAITTYD?

  94. And by the way, in the serious community of art glass artists, Chihuly is a dick face. All show, no real art.

    I have never heard this, but I stand by my joke/pun. Art is in the eye of the creator, I guess.

  95. Speaking of art, I have held one of Pepe’s knives in my hand. It really was a thing of beauty.

  96. Euphemism city.

  97. Don Eduardo rebuked Pilar.

  98. pilar had it coming –

    the little loudmouth

  99. wakey wakey. I should check the basement for MJ. He did threaten to move in.

  100. Gimme 15 minutes.

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