Dog Days Of Summer

The Bangor State Fair has come and gone, leaving only children’s memories of the merry go round, bellies full of cotton candy and a steady drip from your wang from that threesome with the carnie’s girlfriend. We’ve had a weird summer this year. The weather hasn’t really been all that hot. We’ve had great days here and there and some memorable good times of course. It just seems as if we’re staring at back to school shopping and packing up camp when things never really got going. I know time seems to move faster as you age but this is ridiculous. This guy learned all he knows about swallowing swords from your mom

“I’m Senator Kid Rock and I endorse this message”

Hot doggy

giphy

French’s is now making ketchup. Heinz won’t be getting my ketchup dollars anymore.

hot-dogs

So happy!

tumblr_ol6nloodke1shn04do1_500

Sled dogs know how to keep things cool

dog-gif-hot-ice-happy

There are too many funny images when searching “hot dog gif”. One last one, too funny to pass on

hot-dog-chased

So we must end our tour de weiner. Stay cool Hostages and to all you lurkers out there…delurk. We’ll spring for some extra lube so the bullwhips slip in easier.

bvvymqocmaae_sn

 

 

185 Comments

  1. Mornin’ dog whisperers.

  2. Got a recipe for homemade ginger ale Chi?

  3. I don’t use recipes (with measurements), but make a simple syrup. Before you add to heat, grate in a giant lobe of fresh ginger, some lime zest (or rind) & juice from half a lime. Maybe a few drops of vanilla if you like – I do.
    add seltzer water and bourbon, enjoy.

    I used some tangerine rind last night for a twist. Good stuff.

    Some recipes out there call for using yeast to ferment your own and carbonate it. I’m going to try that next. I can report back when I do if you’re serious & not pulingl my leg hotdog.

  4. Wakey wakey

  5. Lots of shit today. LOTS.

  6. Oh – if you don’t want the pulp, strain it, natch.

  7. The recipe as described above sounds like something I could do. Adding fermentation to the process makes it a bit trickier.

  8. Yeah, jimbro, that’s why I haven’t tried that yet. I wish I had a sodastream to make things easier.

  9. That hotdogs to the face gif reminds me of that big goof, Rosetta.

  10. Adding just a tiny bit of yeast adds carbonation, but the yeast will continue to eat sugar, if you let them. I put root beer in a 2 liter bottle, add a tiny bit of yeast, and put it in the fridge when the bottle gets hard from pressure. If you leave it out, the bottle will explode from the CO2 pressure. Use champagne yeast if you’re really concerned, or drink it quick. Champagne yeast shuts down when it gets cold. DON’T use lager yeast, it likes it cold.

    https://www.amazon.com/Midwest-Homebrewing-Winemaking-Supplies-EC-1118/dp/B0064O6Z4Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1502369327&sr=8-2&keywords=champagne+yeast

  11. mom tells a story of making root beer on the farm, and putting it in the outdoor root cellar (The Cave). You had to be careful, some of the bottles would explode.

  12. That’s how beer is carbonated in the bottle. you let the yeast eat all the sugar, until it’s all gone. Then you add just a bit of sugar before bottling, and let it sit. Since it’s a limited amount of sugar, it can only make so much CO2. There’s more than enough yeast living in beer to eat the sugar. In fact, you can culture yeast from bottled/canned beer, as long as it wasn’t pasteurized.

    Or you can use bulk CO2 and a keg, doesn’t take as long.

  13. G’Morning, sugarplops!

    This is a stupendous post. Excellent work, Jimbro. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

    *checks ‘randomly kiss someone’s ass today’ off daily to do list*

    No, seriously, I love little Thor, all the weiner gifs, and ice dog. Adorable. All of it.

  14. Husky on the rocks, please!

    Here is a little sampling of some beers I made.

  15. we need kid rock types in congress – lots and lots of them.
    if the US guv is gonna be a freak show, turn it up to eleventy5!!!!!!!!!11!!!

    i hope he goes the distance

  16. If he runs, I’m doing my first yard sign.

  17. mare, just make sure you “do” the yard sign in the back yard.

  18. haha, sorry leon!

    Don’t care, leaving it.

  19. Methinks Eric Bolling didn’t send a dick pic, or he knows the pic is deleted/gone:

    http://ijr.com/the-declaration/2017/08/943849-eric-bolling-targets-huffington-post-writer-50-million-dollar-lawsuit-story-claims-sexually-harassed-co-workers/

  20. Heck, Leon – I live in Virginia and I’d put up my first ever yard sign!

    Thx for the yeast infection lesson Jay.

  21. Can you run for Senate with a pen name?

  22. mj has mclame at less than 30 days –
    i’m guessing that fuck will jizz up the senate for another 9-12 months

  23. im with leon and chi – i’ll put up a yard sign here in ny for him 2

  24. J’ames you can run in iowa as:

    Stumpy teh Wonder Gigolo 2018

  25. jay those beers look good – im gonna try some brewing when i get some time

  26. Two words, Jay – Deez Nuts.

  27. a friend is putting together a still
    i told him i’d help witht he project

  28. Did MJ ever come back with stakes on that bet? I say he’s still alive after 9-15.

  29. Imma gonna try that too, jam. Brew some corn likker with my brother’s corn crop. Maybe he’ll plant some barley for me, so I can malt it, and make it completely home grown.

  30. I put my potatoes away too quickly, not dry enough. Whole crop lost.

    Not going to bother next year. Turnips and pumpkins if I’m going to grow carbs.

  31. Maybe you can use them for ass potatoes.

  32. Huh? They rotted already?
    You and Possum just pulled them a few days ago…

  33. Very cool hobby, Jay. Looks delicious.

  34. They must have still been a little wet, Chi. Curing/drying was too short. Should have left them in the barn on cardboard for a week or two I guess. That was what I did last year and it seemed like too much time, so I just did a couple of days this year.

    Oh well, it was only about 10# of potatoes. It’s the labor that I’m sad to have wasted.

  35. We should do this some day:

    https://www.flipkey.com/properties/8717385/?m=46963

  36. we always left ours in the ground way past when the tops died back –
    i’d dig them in the fall – don’t remember a problem

  37. you should replant –
    there’s probably enough time to get a batch of salt potatoes

  38. Beautiful place, Carin. I’m wondering why 9 bedrooms and only 2 bathrooms if it sleeps 32.

  39. Tops on mine had been dead for weeks, and I’ve had problems with them rotting in the ground if I kept watering the whole garden with them down there. I’m planting spinach where they were, probably tonight.

  40. We should do this some day:
    https://www.flipkey.com/properties/8717385/?m=46963

    Heh. That place is 15 to 20 minutes away from my front porch.
    “Sleeps 32 comfortably” and 2 bathrooms? For $6,000 – $23,000 per week? Yeah, no. I’ll come visit you, though.

  41. We should do this some day:

    Rented a house from VRBO on a trip to Destin. Great idea, house was awesome, right off the beach, and cheaper than a hotel. 4 families stayed there.

  42. I love Wichita Lineman. What a sweet love song.

    RIP, Glen.

  43. Morning. I have to say I never thought this place need more wiener, but hey, I guess I was wrong

  44. It’s why Hotspur and MJ keep coming back.

  45. “…and I need you more than want you and I want you for all time…”

    Good job, Glen. And writer, Jimmy Webb.

  46. Nice buns.

  47. Google hacked youtube to get past AdBlock+. I’ve got a manual fix, but it’s fiddly to do.

  48. It’s an arms race that will continue until ad servers properly vet what they dole out. Until they stop being party to malware distribution, I’m blocking everything I can, business models be damned.

  49. Ho does the BBF posts? Do you take requests?
    Milana Vayntrub…

  50. Been done, Chi.

  51. It’s old.

  52. I’m just sad that there aren’t more cheesecake photos of Melissa Rauch.

  53. Crap. Always late to the party.

  54. Here you go, chi!

  55. You can look at the past bbfs

  56. Didn’t Vayntrub win last years title?

  57. You expect me to search out my own softcore porno images? The hell you say!

  58. There is no such thing as a stupid question.

    Unless we decide to start to make fun of it.

  59. I think Laura posted some? Or was that just a nightmare I had had once.

  60. Well, we expect you to search here before making requests.

    Actually we don’t, we want to make fun of you for not doing so.

  61. Well, I clicked on “view full site” and found a list of BBFs but that shit is 10 years old with no pics!
    And how do I get back to viewing the page on my mobile like I am used to???

    (Now you can laugh at me)

  62. Don’t procreate.

  63. Chi, at the bottom right, just under the flags, there’s a “view mobile site” link.

  64. I googled your dick and couldn’t find it.

  65. Google is full of dicks, couldn’t decide which one it was.

  66. Hotspur on August 10, 2017 at 11:52 am
    Don’t procreate.

    That’s why I stick with your mom.

    *buys Leon a nice cold Corsendonk Pale Ale

  67. You guys are going to cripple the chat room with those.

  68. I long for the days of MCPO. He’d be having a fucking heart attack right now.

  69. Gonna try to take a nap before our next attempt at a blood draw.

    Took FIL to get blood drawn this morning about 7am and found out the lab by us picked up and left months ago – even though it’s still listed in the Yellow Pages (on-line) as being there.

    Took him to another one, which was way crowded because fewer labs, and sat for an hour only to find out the doctor’s office didn’t put the order in after telling the husband they put the order in. FUUUUU!!!
    So, bought him some breakfast, took him home, and got him settled in his chair where he commenced in stripping down to his underwear.

    SIL, in the meantime, called the doctor and as soon as I got home, she tells me the order is now in. o_O

    Made an appt for this afternoon as we were walk-ins earlier (was told I didn’t need an appt.) ….and they gave preference to appts.

  70. I don’t see $20 anywhere. I got robd!

  71. Look in your mom’s cleavage. That’s where I put it earlier.

  72. My FIL had $20 but I told him to put it away. I already paid for his McMuffin. He can pay me back in fries another day.

  73. I asked him if he needed to use the toilet at the lab. He said no.
    Soon as we got in the car and headed to McDonalds he wanted to go in to use the toilet.
    Kids.

  74. Silly beasn, they don’t have fries at breakfast, those are hash browns.

  75. Kids do it just to have control over something. I suspect that was for the same reason.

  76. Fries?
    Damn, now I want some Arbys loaded curly fries…

  77. If you work with the dumbest people on the planet, raise your hand.

    If you’re self employed, please put your hand down. You’re just embarrassing yourself.

  78. haha, watch the Mr. Plinkett review of Ghostbusters. He agrees with me, worst movie ever.



    It’s long.

  79. I don’t think they are dumb, but fuck if they aren’t lazy enough to scare me.

  80. Watched that earlier, Jay. He should direct.

  81. Hell, we should crowdfund a movie with Ace writing the script and Plinkett directing. The cast could all be tween girls and it would still be better than that.

  82. He hit the nail on the head: Bridesmaids was hilarious, because of the writing. Same with original Ghostbusters.

  83. Never saw it, what with being a straight male.

  84. Straight male? Not what MJ told us.

  85. PT with ethan. I think we’ll have two more weeks.

  86. Gay. So very gay.

  87. I’m gladly you’re finally owning up to it, MJ.

  88. I loved Bridesmaids. The part where they were trying to get the cop’s attention slayed.

  89. I’m sure it’s an objectively good piece of art or no one would know Kristen Wiig’s name, I’m just not interested.

  90. Oh my God, the food poisoning scene.

  91. Thanks for your effusive praise Laura

    It doesn’t make me feel the least bit nervous.

    Nope, not in the least…

  92. When the running dachshund looks at the camera, so cute, squeeee!

  93. Watch Bridesmaids, leon, it’s a scream. That goes for everyone else, too.

    Usually I like Kristen Wiig’s movies, she’s super funny. She didn’t write this one, and it’s awful.

  94. laura liked the pun thor? She’s turning to the dark side.

  95. noooooo

  96. We’ll see what her reaction to my “All Pun All The Time” post is before knowing how far to the dark side

  97. Back from the blood draw. Very few people there in the afternoon. Got in and out.

    FIL tried to slip me a fiddy.

  98. Kinky

  99. Wow, that stupid gif totally killed the blog.

  100. We need 3PO to enforce the rules

  101. Si, 3PO

  102. While we’re posting stupid pictures.

  103. I go to Taco Bell because it’s 1:30 am and I’m high as fuck.

  104. If that gif I posted of MJ is f*cking up the blerg, you may remove it nice person.

  105. Mr. B said he would have taken the 50.

  106. Didn’t post as a picture, jimbro. FAIL!

  107. Heck yeah! Then you could buy us all some Ted Drewe’s!

  108. I could redact them all, and may. I think they just crashed firefox on me.

  109. Pale moon still running here!

  110. I think it’s the old PEBKAC error.

  111. I so meant that to post as a picture too!

  112. No, wait, it’s my internet going to shit because it’s 5pm.

    Switching to Comshaft on Saturday, AT&T has been spotty as hell for the last few months. We’re going to have… ugh… TV again. TV service was free with internet. I think they are actually paying us to have it.

  113. I’m surprised Opera hasn’t crashed. It’s been slow as shit since it last updated.

  114. We’re getting gig internet, since we’ve been streaming netflix a lot. Running close to the cap. Going from 50 meg to 1000. Hmmm.

  115. Souther Indiana is a terrible place to live. Truly horrible.

    Yet, the internet service is fantastic.

    Huh.

  116. Wiener dogs!!!!!!

  117. Yet, the internet service is fantastic.

    Half the people don’t have computers, and the other half don’y know how to turn them on.

  118. Taco Bell franchise owners NOT in NM actually put more meat than lettuce in their tacos.

  119. Taco Bell is Pepsi. Pretty sure 1:30 AM visits order Baja Dew.

  120. Do you know how hard it was living in VA in 1968 and your sister took bean burritos for lunch? We were being bussed as white kids, miles away from the elementary school across the highway…and my sister insisted on Velveeta, Onion, and Refritos on tortilla for lunch. Some days she mixed it up with cold fried spam and french’s mustard. Always on tortilla. Taco Bell wasn’t a national chain yet. 20 pesos

  121. Half the people don’t have computers, and the other half don’y know how to turn them on.
    —————————–
    This is probably true. Here is a picture of your average Southern Indiana resident:

    https://is.gd/XuZwxA

  122. Half the people don’t have computers, and the other half don’y know how to turn them on.

    They know how to turn it on. It’s how they look up how to cook meth.

  123. MJ’s cosmopolitan bias is showing.

  124. The Santa Barbara firm just came back with a counter-offer that may be worth accepting.

  125. Kick ass, Colex! Is it a really tempting offer?

  126. http://tinyurl.com/yd7s2qa9

  127. *Still crossing fingers for Oregon job. I guess if it is a good offer, Santa Barbara is ok

  128. Comment by lauraw on August 10, 2017 6:54 pm
    Kick ass, Colex! Is it a really tempting offer?

    $37 an hour, plus bonuses which can run 10-20%. It’s still slightly less in real terms compared to what I was making in Colorado, but the work would be interesting. My first trip would be to Europe in the fall.

  129. Oso, I’m not gonna become OrAl.

  130. On the other hand, I’ve signed up for art classes, and it’s very tempting to spend the next four months painting and drawing. It might be a nice vacation…

  131. Sounds pretty good. I sincerely don’t know what the cost of living is out there. Have you looked at rents in that area? Are you going to be comfortable?

  132. Europe and art? I guess I could sacrifice OrAl. (OMG even you paste eating window lickers can tee off on that one)

  133. Cost of living is expensive. I’m renting a studio apartment (a guest house) at $1700 a month, and that’s cheap.

  134. 🎶California dreaming🎶🎶🎶

  135. For laura

    Testing the waters…

  136. Could we please lose the bad ear worm header pic? Please. I didn’t even know Robert Johns was real.

  137. Hmmm, supposed to be preseason football on, but they decided to play a rerun of Big Bang Theory instead. I assume the person who was supposed to hit the button is high, or dead.

  138. I finally figured out the header pic. Time for a new one assessing our mother’s lack of virtue

  139. Pats-Jags here.

  140. We are blocked from the NFL pre-season feed. Denver game is too fucking close to Albuquerque. Fox and Root are blocked too.

  141. I don’t even like the Broncos.

  142. 7 games tonight and I can’t watch one?

  143. 7 games tonight and I can’t watch one?

    I guess you shouldn’t have sacrificed OrAl. Now what are you going to do?

  144. Watch baseball. 😜👊🏻👍🏻

  145. I AM, OSO!

  146. I SHOULD BE ALL CAPS J’AMES. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

  147. *shoots Jay in the face with the porcupine & thumbtacks shotgun*

  148. IT WASN’T THE PLASTIC THUMBTACKS, WAS IT?

  149. Pork u pine/ Family Feud

  150. All caps J’ames needs a dart thrown at him. A lawn dart.

  151. *hugs blog for an uncomfortably long time*

  152. Dan is cooking rib eyes. Not grilling. Using the oven. Local laws and HOA prohibit grilling within 10 feet of a building. Dan didn’t feel like breaking the law with one of our Webers or Lodge Hibachi. Pray for Oso. Simpson’d

  153. *reloads thumbtacks, adds sprigs of poison ivy*

  154. I’ve got a ribeye warming up on the counter while I go for a run. Steak and eggs and maybe some veggies. Fasting-ish for the past 48 hours. Next meal will be Saturday morning. Pancakes.

  155. MMMM….pancakes

  156. Local corn on the cob. Regular butter. Not Kerrygold. Pray for Oso. Simpson’d

  157. Not Kerrygold?! Dan is really demanding that you slum it.

  158. Meh, Kerrygold is overrated.

  159. *scratches

  160. I really like Kerrygold.

  161. Dan didn’t even salad or bread me. Corn and steak. 🎶where is love🎶

  162. Is everything okay, Pupster?

  163. Your people call it corn. My people call it maize

  164. The corn/maize thing is one of those funny linguistic oddities of English that delights me when I think of it. Roman soldiers were paid in corn, but never saw corn in their lives. English and Irish corned beef for centuries before Columbus sailed. Then white guys find this funny grass the red men of the New World are growing, see all the little corn-shaped seeds and decide they’ll just call that corn too.

  165. You left out everything about corn hole.

    I think Jefferson invented that.

  166. Our eye doctor at Sam’s is a gorgeous Puerto Rican. She knows her business. She flirts. Don’t care. She found eye problems my opthalmogist missed. I grew up not trusting optometrist types because of my dad. She flirts with Dan right in front of me.

  167. Scam. She pretended to find stuff.

  168. I had a dentist like that.

  169. Scott, I wish. Sent me to eye specialists. 20 years of real doctor misses. She monitors my diabetes and my family glaucoma. I grew up thinking that opthalmogist were better than optometrists. I’ve had 2 amazing optometrists. One lost his job for refusing to treat HIV positive patients. Street doc on Central. I paid him cash as a UNM student

  170. I really thought I was going blind. My left eye compensates for a huge blind spot. Eye Associates of NM was surprised that my optometrist caught the blind spot.

  171. Going blind is my greatest fear. My eyes I take care of. Stumpy? Whatev

  172. Home from Houston and a long drag-ass day at work. That was a travesty of an HHD. Dayum.

  173. Roamy, I have a mad crush on Kris Paronto. Look at his Ballistic mag pic cover. Lean

  174. I want to Lick his ink.

  175. I fucked up and over sugared. Passing out and I didn’t have Maine blueberry cheesecake yet

  176. Avenge me!

  177. ” That was a travesty of an HHD. Dayum.”
    so it exceeded expectations?

  178. And when I lie on my pillow at night
    I dream I could derp like David Watts
    Lead the school team to victory
    And take my exams and pass the lot

  179. Comment by leoncaruthers on August 10, 2017 9:49 pm
    Is everything okay, Pupster?

    I’m fine. Was reading through the thread after work and enjoying the banter, I wanted to tell y’all how much I enjoy this place and that I appreciate the posting and commenting.

    BEWBS are out.


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