Tour de Pants

The Tour of France by bicycle lasts most of the month of July. This year I think I read 2 articles about it. One was how the 2 guys who cover the race on TV are brilliant and the other one a couple of days ago discussing how the rider from the winning team is part of a system that has made the race boring by their success. Despite reading both of these articles (skimming is more like it) I cannot tell you who actually won the race. tour-de-france-main-crash

Crashes in bike races, especially road bikes, is part of the fun of watching. Sort of like NASCAR. Fast cars driving around an oval shaped track for hours on end. When they show the highlights, what do they show other than the winner drinking milk and the crashes? That’s right.

The Tour de France is one of those elitist sports that people who don’t watch the debased American sports like football and soccer claim to watch. Sort of like being a vegan…you’ll know if someone follows the tour within 5 minutes of meeting them. World cup soccer, international tennis, cricket, the list goes on and on. All of these things are fine, including being a vegan if you want to do that (dog whistle to Leon), I just don’t want to hear about how they’re superior to traditional American sports!

This guy is like a franchise

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Gotta love the podium girls. This one is a sticky wicket for the elites who love these events. On the one hand it’s a tradition since who the hell cares how long. On the other hand, why aren’t the podium girls of various ethnicities, perceived genders and religions?

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This elbowing incident was controversial.

drmvky

Where’s PETA when you need them? Ever notice all the peta ads are with thin people? I know more than a couple of obese non-carnivores.

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Here we are, first week of August. Preseason football begins and that’s the signal to grab onto summer while we can. At least it is for me. You may not give two shits about preseason football and, if you live south of the Mason Dixon Line you probably aren’t too concerned about how long the warm weather will continue.

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143 Comments

  1. *grabs poat by the podium girls and elbows the rest aside*

  2. good luck laura!

  3. Without Lance, no one cares about cycling. There’s a reason he got away with it for so long.

  4. Also congratulations to Laura, I’m catching up.

  5. “NATIONAL GRAB SOME NUTS DAY”

  6. Get ‘ta grabbin’

  7. From the Annals of Modern Art

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/arts/95334929/parkin-drawing-prize-worth-20000-awarded-to-a-pile-of-carpet

    Where’s Chumpo when we need him?

  8. Just read my spiel again. Should say “debased American sports like football and baseball”. Not sure how soccer snuck in there. Probably in my mind for the next sentence.

  9. I’d pay no more than $20 for this joke of a “gun”

    http://www.guns.com/2017/08/02/trailblazer-firearms-introduces-folding-lifecard-22-single-shot-pistol-photos/

    Cool concept, outrageous price

  10. Excellent poat, Jimbro. Gracias!

  11. Everyone attached to the world of modern art could die of an aneurism tomorrow and the world would be better for it.

  12. De nada Pepe

  13. hehe, he said annals

    /butthead

  14. You’re right on about the Lance factor Leon. I’m sure viewership fell off a cliff when he retired from racing.

    One of my favorite memories of watching the TdF during one of the Lance years was seeing the live action earlier in the day and then visiting my friends who were already planning a watching party with some other people. (Nerd alert, I know). It was a bunch of medical and surgical residents and PhD scientist types and one woman was being particularly annoying with her pronouncements of racing strategy. At one point she pointed out how something was impossible and wasn’t going to happen. This asshole, who had seen it live not 8 hours before her, told her how wrong her thinking was. She couldn’t let it go and proceeded to tell me how wrong I was. When it happened a half hour later I just looked at her directly and walked out of the room.

  15. Carin must be on Pinterest

  16. Workie workie

  17. Very tired wakey wakey.

    #3 was involved in a hit and run LATE last night. She was going to a friend’s show in Pontiac (sketchy area). She was upset and didn’t know what to do – luckily she wasn’t alone.

    Then the battery died because she had her hazards on waiting for the police, etc.

    It was a lot of fun. I’m tired. It went on for a few hours, and started late.

  18. #zumba

    That should bring her in

  19. ugh, battery died too? Better have someone check that, shouldn’t die from hazards.

    Glad she’s ok.

  20. No, it shouldn’t have. But of course the battery would “go” when something like this happens.

  21. Glad #3 spawn is ok.

    I’ve been up all night writing this damn report. Slowly. Slooooowly.

    Once it’s done I’ll take a nap and then head onto campus.

  22. There you go letting your kids cavort again.

    These things can be avoided.

  23. https://is.gd/7AELaj

  24. I don’t think Hannah would find that funny. lol.

  25. I’m pretty sure the Surgeon General has issued warnings about cavorting.

  26. *wonders if i should admit out loud that that little muppet mj is funny*

  27. I need one of those signs.

  28. Good morning! Thanks for all the well wishes. It was kind of shocking.

    I hit it off with the nurse I was shadowing and fell in love with the unit. But when I was leaving, the nurse manager seemed rather cool with me and told me she was interviewing other people and to wait three weeks for news. So I went home and figured she didn’t like me, and I should continue to look at other jerbs. Four hours later, the phone rings and it’s a call from the recruiter with the offer.

    Who knows, who knows. All I know is I have a shit ton of online paperwork to do today now.

  29. One of the other nurses was in the office, laura, she had to say that.

    Congrats!

  30. I don’t think Hannah would find that funny. lol.

    It doesn’t matter if she finds it funny, only whether or not you find it funny.

  31. I’m starting to feel funny about bringing chocolate truffles to the unit. They’re gonna think I’m a weirdo.*

    I’ll just mail thank you cards.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    *shut. up.

  32. Maybe cancel the strippergram.

  33. BUT NOT IF IT’S ONE OF THOSE FIREFIGHTERS

  34. http://tinyurl.com/yapmxd6j

  35. http://tinyurl.com/yb77lfjf

  36. Alex? Laura?

    http://tinyurl.com/y7kybc75

  37. Insty linked to this, and the comments are full of “OMG THE RACIZZZMMM!!!” stuff. While it’s certainly true that the Ivy League is racist towards asians, the kid in the article strikes me as the kind that a lot of admissions officers hate: one who checks the blocks but never actually leaves a mark, or shows any sign of a personality.

    He applied to 14 colleges, including Duke, Cornell, Dartmouth, Brown, Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, Rutgers, New York University, Georgetown and the University of Pennsylvania. His SAT score was 2340 out of 2400, his G.P.A. was 4.42 and he took 11 Advanced Placement courses.

    In addition to playing tennis, participating in the debate team and playing violin in the state orchestra, he did advocacy for an Asian-American student group.

    “All I know is that my student profile and all the extracurriculars I was involved in, and the grades I achieved were, I think, sufficient to get into a couple of the schools I applied to,” he said.

  38. I agree with the Asian, he should have got in, to all of them.

    I’m sure the AA students show plenty of “personality” and end up being SJW dicks who contribute NOTHING.

  39. His SAT score was 2340 out of 2400

    WTF is this madness?

  40. he did advocacy for an Asian-American student group

    Any and all possible sympathy: gone.

  41. Its called an Asian fail.

    There are too many of them at certain schools so they just don’t let some in.

    I’m ok with it. I’d prefer that Asians move onto the next phase of evolution and morph into beams of light.

    Crackers like me will move up to Asian.

  42. My family would kill me, Car in.

  43. I might go look at this tomorrow.

  44. My spot looks nicer

  45. Your spot looks great, car in, Im ready to move!

  46. Lets start a commune. Who is going to raise my baby while I grow the mushroom/weed hybrid and work on my manifesto?

  47. I’ll raise your baby. Otherwise he’ll just turn out to be a fag.

  48. NTTIAWWT

  49. Mare,

    A kid like that would likely end up becoming a leftist in college. I met too many over those overachievers who would stab you in the back if it earned them brownie points with the authorities and possibly a better grade. Plus, they tend to have unrealistic views about the world.

  50. I’ll help with the weedrooms or is that mushweed…

  51. We may have to sell the kid for a down payment.

  52. On the commune.

  53. I like Weedrooms™.

    Let’s go with that.

  54. I noticed Carin’s listing did not disclose any details about the shitter.

    Potential buyer: Why you selling?

    Current owner: My wife and kids are getting tired of running down to the Mobil station every time they need to drop a deuce.

  55. deployment: DONE! Time for lunch!

  56. You can turn that into a selling point.

    Antique plumbing gives you that 19th century feeling.

  57. What do you do for a Sears catalog in this era of the internets?

  58. Sawdust

  59. There’s an app for that.

  60. Sears is for old people.

  61. Meetings done, time for breakfast.

    Bacon, pan-fried turnips in scrambled eggs with romano, tomatoes, and peppers. All veggies home-grown.

  62. Eggs are also home-grown, I guess.

  63. It’s such a good feeling isn’t it.

  64. leon is wearing bib overalls with no shirt and shoes.

  65. Cargo shorts

  66. Cargo bib

  67. wow, I didn’t realize how badly Stephen Miller roasted Acosta from CNN

  68. Overalls chafe my nipples.

  69. Shoes are for church. Barefoot or boots anywhere else.

  70. Jay, you should watch the actual briefing. It was fun watching Acosta make a fool of himself, then get scolded like the little bitch that he is.

  71. It’s CNN. It’s like CNN is that school for the kids with “challenges”. And Acosta’s the kid the other kids there would say is “kinda slow”.

  72. Arguing with Jim Acosta is like running in the Special Olympics.
    Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

    *I denounce myself

  73. Physical therapy. It appears to be mostly ACL tears.

  74. I had the same reaction Tucker did this morning when I heard it.

  75. Acosta is George Costanza.

    He’s basically saying, ‘oh yeah, well, the jerk store called and they’re out of you!’

  76. Alex, I taught and my daughters went to high school with an 82% Asian population. Competitive, because they are absolutely realistic about the world. You want X you better do Y. I liked them a lot and most went on to great schools before it the dumbass universities stopped enrollment on merit. Most (a majority) of my students (and my kids friends) are professionals. Contributing. Not sure about the back stabbing you’re talking about.

  77. “Overalls chafe my nipples”
    You should get nipple rings – they seemed to help that guy in the documentary “Waterboy”

  78. To be fair, most of the people on the news are journalists like Billy Nye is a scientist.

    They’re actors with a passing knowledge of their subjects but mostly just read whatever is in front of them.

  79. GND and I were just talking about how weird it is to meet a non stereotypical Asian person.

    It cracks me up.

  80. Holy Shit, I want Stephan Miller’s baby.

  81. And what Tucker Carlson said at the end of that video makes me want to have his twins!

  82. That’s giving the “journalists” too much of a pass, though MJ. These people are part of the WH press core — should they not be a cut above the run-of-the-mill talking heads?

    I really deplore the “news bite”, photo-op journalism at the expense of old-fashioned, fact-digging journalists of previous times. Walter Winchell used to turn gossip into news. Now, they just make the stuff up broad cloth!

  83. Why do people think that a poem is policy? I saw that at Ace’s and laughed because I said the same thing to my husband. I don’t want your tired and poor, I want your excited and energized…to be American.

    A poem…hahahahahaahaaaah

  84. Nearly all the asians I’ve worked with fit Alex’s description to a T.

    Wait, no. I can’t actually think of an exception without going back to guys I knew in college, and didn’t actually work with, so all.

  85. I’ll give you 19th century immigration policies when we have 19th century welfare, voting, and civil rights.

  86. Well said, Xbradtc.

  87. Were the asians you knew born in China, Japan, etc.?

  88. Acosta tried to make it a gotcha moment. He failed. Miserably.

    That’s all the press does now is play gotcha. They did it with Bush, didn’t do it with Obama, and they are now doing it with Trump.

    If only they weren’t so narcissistic, they could see themselves as we see them.

  89. He did fail and anyone who thinks differently is delusional.

  90. Breitbart used to play them like a fiddle.

  91. Acosta is too dim to even pull off a gotcha moment, especially against a guy like Miller who knows immigration law and policy backwards and forwards.

  92. for you old farts (55+), staying at a Best Western (there’s one in Lapeer):

    https://www.bestwestern.com/en_US/offers/hotel-discounts/senior-hotel-discounts.html

  93. 18+ hour flight in a 787-8

    https://www.flightradar24.com/data/aircraft/n7874/#e54ad6b

  94. Mare, it wasn’t just Asians. Black, White, Asian, Messican…it’s the mentality that they have to be in a dozen AP classes and student council president and on the debate team and the state symphony and volunteering, etc., etc., etc., and it’s all to carefully craft this supposedly perfect resume to get into the perfect college and so on. I saw it in school, and in the Army, and occasionally afterwards, although by that point there weren’t a whole lot running around Colorado Springs in my social circle.

    Yes, they’re driven and that’s good, but a lot of these types of people seemed to me to see everyone as a tool for their own success. You were only friends as long as you were useful to them. Everything that they did was crafted to please someone who could give them a letter of recommendation, or a promotion, or networking.

    Megan McArdle had a great article, and a book as well I think, about the importance of failure. But the ones of this type often never fail, because they’ve always had parents pushing them, or they learn to manipulate other people to save themselves from failure, and they learn never to try anything outside the safe and accepted path. So they don’t know how to handle it when they suddenly discover that the rest of the world doesn’t owe them a thing no matter how many blocks they’ve checked.

    Also, I found $20. I left it on your mom’s nightstand.

  95. The ones I knew in college were 3rd generation. The ones I’ve worked with have been 1st or 2nd.

  96. A recruiter from my old company just contacted me via email. It’s been two months since I submitted the application…

  97. Speaking of slowest kid at the School for the Challenged, I give you Human Resources.

  98. HR is a value subtractor, it lets idiots have air conditioned office jobs.

  99. Heh, my daughter who was in management is learning HR, accounting etc., so she can have regular hours. Get weekends off for the first time in years.

    She has worked with HR women who can easily be described using Hotspur’s favorite word for women who are particular assholes.

  100. Nah, it sounds like they just got awarded the contract. I would have been nice to know when I applied that the contract hadn’t been awarded yet. Either that, or their first choice quit…

  101. Sounds like your choice of caution flags there…

  102. Meh, I’ll speak with the guy. It’s in Charlottesville, VA, and they would cover renewing my clearance.

  103. HotBride is going to a movie with her friends tonight. It was planned two days ago. I was invited but declined. Then I made plans to go to dinner with a couple of buddies.

    Now she’s disappointed that she is going without me, as though the reason I don’t want to go is that I don’t want to be with them.

    So I texted her and said, “When we get home tonight I want you to honestly tell me if you think I would have enjoyed the movie you are about to see. If the answer is yes, I will go next time.”

    LOL Now that, my friends, is how you do a gotcha.

  104. What movie is she going to?

  105. HR is a value subtractor, it lets idiots have air conditioned office jobs.
    ——————————–
    Good HR is invaluable. Bad HR is so bad its hard to explain.

  106. Miller looks like a movie villain. He should only be trotted out when they need to close the deal.

  107. ^^^^

    That’s a compliment, BTW. He’s a natural closer.

  108. I’m yet to encounter good HR.

  109. The Big Sick

  110. The Big Dick?

  111. One of the area hospitals has shitty HR and shitty IT for their HR. Instead of telling you they aren’t accepting new grads right now, they have a link to their grad residency program that just goes to a 404 error. This is literally how they notify you. You’re supposed to ‘get’ that is what it means, and not just that they are having an IT problem.

    I emailed the main HR person there about the program page and she told me not to contact them until the end of August. She has a reputation among my peers for being rude and disorganized.

    Same place that makes you park in the distant ‘hood and take a shuttle, adding scintillating danger and 1/2 hour to your commute every day.

    So glad I didn’t apply there.

  112. LOL

    Stephen Miller annihilates another douche.

  113. Nicely done. I’d work in that guy’s mook posse.

  114. Glenn Thrush, poor guy, going through life without the thinking half of his brain.

    Guy is reading off studies from memory, and you think you can get him?

  115. I see McMasters is a POS.

  116. I read an article weeks ago at gate stone wherein McMaster’s was very unfriendly to Israel. Trump should have known to can his ass. It really seems to come down to Muslim sympathizers vs supporters of Israel. He also supports the Iran deal. Only scum muslim sympathizers would do that.

  117. WTF would Susan Rice keep top secret clearance…especially under the circumstances of this kill from within strategy.

  118. We have good HR. MJ never even got an application.

  119. Well that is an argument in favor of them.

  120. Ha! MJ.

  121. Remake of Death Wish

    https://is.gd/bbSXTD

    The usual crowd is soiling their drawers about the alt-right tone so it must be good

  122. RE: The new Death Wish

    I want to believe.

  123. Oh, I would maybe come down off my high horse to give Hollywood a couple dollars for that one Jimbro.
    Willis is badass in almost anything he touches.

  124. Screw hollywood.

  125. That makes three movies on my list that I might see……and maybe even Dunkirk.

    Darkest Hour will get my money and LBJ prolly will.

    I watched a Death Wish marathon one wknd when I was being a bum. Death Wish 2 was ok….pretty much more of the same. Death Wish 3 was beyond ludicrous. Somebody hooked him up with a 30 cal anti-aircraft gun and as I remember it, in the final scene the stoners just kept wandering into his line of fire. Must’ve gone through a quarter mile belt of ammo.

  126. Car in when she was little http://tinyurl.com/ybxx8ta5

  127. I liked ChrisP’s link. Hostage pilot would have drawn a dickbutt.

  128. WTF?

  129. We need to give Florida to Cuba.

  130. How do I say “Fuck You” in Florida?

    * drops pants *

  131. Lauraw will not be killed until after Lapeerpalooza 2: the One Where MJ Goes Missing.

    And seriously the God’s are going to be appeased with the MJ sacrifice, they won’t need lauraw.

  132. * takes back bcocks Mom’s tip *

  133. The hell?

  134. Pupster’s HR people sent him to Canada so he could learn to be nice.

    🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

  135. Sacrifice?

    Like with a cloth?

  136. https://is.gd/KNINtC

  137. None of this makes sense. I need Oso to ‘splain please.

  138. How does it feel when you derp in the morning?
    How does it feel feeling sun in the shade?
    How does it feel when you slide down a sunbeam?
    How does it feel bursting clouds on your way?

  139. oy!!

  140. Good morning.
    Anybody have any tips to help me lower my blood pressure in the next three days? Work physical. I’m a little hypertensive. This last couple years have been the most unhealthy of my life. Wonder if that will even matter to them?? Guess I’m not done stressing yet.

  141. Maybe I should go give blood, lol.

  142. Bewbs are up.


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