MMM 283: time to flee?

Not yet.  It’s just land.  We could buy a camper tomorrow and head over, and while that has a certain appeal, it ain’t happening.  We’re looking at house plans now and should start looking for a hay farmer this week.  Paperwork for my HELOC extension (i.e. my new land loan) goes in today.  If the stress doesn’t kill me, this should be fun.

I wonder if fitness photography is a good lifestyle, or if Andrew is bored to tears of looking at booties.

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Looks like a patio closer to the equator.tumblr_max2k1ujGg1rp3wz8o1_500.jpg

Pupster’s going for a car ride!

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Small, but real.

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I gotta do a bunch of pushups later.

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Good delts on this gal.

 

Did I mention pushups?  I’ve got feet-elevated regulars and pikes to do today.

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At what age do women abandon belly-button rings?

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I won’t get to the beach this year.  Maybe next year or the year after.

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Side planks are an excellent exercise.

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Happy Monday!

228 Comments

  1. WTF is everyone?

  2. Sleep debt.

  3. building an ark

  4. Not in the mood for crossfit this morning. That means a run and weights at home.

    I tackled my secret shame area yesterday. It’s not conquered, but it’s been tamed a bit. There is a ton of poison ivy over there, so I can only work so long before I need to go take a shower – I’m sure I could work for a few hours before washing it off, but I’m paranoid.

  5. Good bunch of tuckers today Leon

  6. dodging ‘gators
    http://www.fingerlakesdailynews.com/2017/07/24/10529/

  7. I picked a lousy week to have off. Jam’s rain is coming my way. There’s one day this week that didn’t have a rain cloud on it.

  8. I do full-body cover for poison ivy and just go until I can’t move my hands anymore, then shower and scrub with rough washcloth.

  9. “I tackled my secret shame area yesterday. It’s not conquered, but it’s been tamed a bit. There is a ton of poison ivy over there, so I can only work so long before I need to go take a shower – I’m sure I could work for a few hours before washing it off, but I’m paranoid.”

    heh

  10. Crap. I was hoping for another hour of sleep this morning, but my scrap metal guy called already. He’s on the way over to pick up his weekly load…

    That “small but real” chick looks like a crossfit Jessica Simpson, btw.

  11. I do full-body cover for poison ivy and just go until I can’t move my hands anymore, then shower and scrub with rough washcloth.

    I don’t I cover my feet and ankles, and when I’m done I just go right to the shower, dump everything I was wearing in the washer.

    As long as I shower – or wash up well – I don’t get it. I don’t really need to cover. That gives me a false sense of security.

  12. I rate day old egg salad sandwiches, served at a kid’s birthday party, as effective as Milk of Magnesia. I got the wake up call at 0300, direct from my sigmoid colon to my reticular activating system.

  13. mj – parenting tips:
    http://tinyurl.com/y8s3ewwa

  14. “direct from my sigmoid colon to my reticular activating system.”
    hahahaa

  15. jimbro, if you go to a spa you’d have to pay extra for the “cleanse”

  16. Poison ivy? I can’t get that in the woods, right?

  17. been having trouble finding labor for my various projects… guys either don’t show or show once, don’t do shit and never show again…
    the latest guy brought his family; the next day one of his brothers showed up with his family – i found out that most of them are ex-cons; what a zoo.
    my wife is not happy about it

  18. I rate day old egg salad sandwiches

    Spotted the problem.

    Poison ivy? I can’t get that in the woods, right?

    It’s pretty much the only dangerous thing in the Southern Michigan wilderness other than nails in fallen tree-stand boards.

  19. you get poison ivy by NOT going in the woods and rolling around, when you are in Michigan.

    It’s different there.

  20. WTF, bringing the family jam? These are guys doing labor?

  21. Not everyone is allergic. I think Lapeerpalooza would be a good opportunity to see if MJ has this superpower.

  22. I’m only allergic sometimes. I haven’t found a pattern.

  23. I’m allergic every time I don’t wash it off. I got a bit on my knee in the spring – that day I washed UP to my knee figuring nothing got further north than that in my gardening foray.

    SO close.

  24. I’ll give it a shot. It’s not like its itchy or anything.

  25. I did find that stuff that helps neutralize it – it’s growing really well with my goji berries so I left it there in case of emergencies.

  26. I’ll give it a shot. It’s not like its itchy or anything.

    You’ll be fine. Probably. Maybe.

  27. What’s really amazing about poison ivy is that it’s superpowers don’t leave when it dies. My dad got a good case clearing some out in the dead of winter.

  28. Bramble vines are worse after they die. The thorns sharpen and more readily leave the branch to stay in you.

  29. Just, um, don’t get rid of poison ivy by burning it.

    Not personal experience there, thank God.

  30. Composting doesn’t work great either. I have a barren, dark spot in the woods where I toss all that I gather.

  31. Remember that time I cut up a bunch of jalepenos and then took a leak.

    That didn’t burn very much.

  32. I actually bag up the poison ivy I pull and throw it away.

  33. I’m totally not saving it all for when MJ comes to visit, and I pretend it’s pot.

  34. I just make a salad for my goats. They seem to like it with a vinaigrette.

  35. Trash finally got picked up today, was supposed to be Friday.

    Wonder if I can get trash pickup at the new place or if I need to make 3 piles:

    1) compost
    2) burn
    3) sneakily add to a business dumpster in town

  36. Leon,
    You have a barren?

    All I can think of now is Holly Hunter Raising Arizona…

  37. Nothing grows there that I care about, it’s not in a path, and there’s not a lot of light to help the ivy flourish if it survives.

  38. Remember that time I cut up a bunch of jalepenos and then took a leak.
    That didn’t burn very much.

    Scabs are less sensitive to capscacin.

  39. How many dates did you have this weekend, CoAlex? Round to the nearest 0.

  40. Does your mom count? What if I don’t leave money on the nightstand?

  41. “Dates”

  42. I knew (internet knew) a guy who was lighting a fire in his fireplace. Unbeknownst to him, there was dried poison ivy mixed in with the wood. He inhaled some of the smoke and had a bad reaction in his lungs. Died the next day. Nothing the doctors could do.

  43. We’re trying to get a new heating system put in our house. Almost impossible to find a contractor. They can’t keep a crew together because of drug use. Guys start doing drugs and won’t show up. They built a WalMart several years ago in T or C, NM. It was 6 months late in opening because not enough of the locals could pass the drug test. They finally had to bring people in from out of town.

  44. That’d be an entire episode of CSI back in the day.

  45. I googled why people are into BDSM hoping to find out some info but it’s all, ‘hey its totally fine and people into beating up each other are actually more normal than the population.’

    Social science masquerading as science is downright criminal.

  46. The most comforting lie in history:
    “I’m okay, you’re okay”

    The hard truth:
    “I’m a mess and so are you”

  47. And if you need $400 worth of accoutrement and a release form to have a good time sexually, you’re more messed up than I am.

  48. It seems like there are two types of people when it comes to fetishes: one gets off on the fetish, and the other gets off on shocking the world by being the kind of person who gets off on the fetish. They can’t stand the thought that they might be not that interesting.

  49. “It was 6 months late in opening because not enough of the locals could pass the drug test”.

    Construction Industry HR here. My candidates fail for Marijuana because it lasts so long in your system. If they removed that one substance, I could hire people all day long everyday. I don’t care about what fucking substance you use on your own time. What I care about is the individual being sober and functional on the fucking job.

  50. And if you need $400 worth of accoutrement and a release form to have a good time sexually, you’re more messed up than I am.

    How much did you and the wife pay for the Dorothy Gale and Lollipop Guild costumes?

  51. Less than $50, and no release form.

  52. Troy, the worst part is that we’re not exactly talking about an arcane secret there. If folks can’t even lay off long enough to piss clean and get the job, what can you expect of their judgement and self-control once hired?

    I stopped looking at it as a test of chemistry and started seeing it as a test of character long ago. It makes much more sense when you do.

  53. Is it mostly marijuana? Working in construction in the past showed me lots of people use that. Maybe testing is stricter now, but the entire bin crew I worked with was high 15 mins after clockout. I’m sure there were some on the clock too, but not in the responsible positions.

    I know this, got into fights over not partaking. That fucking sucks.

  54. Besides, I thought meth was the bigger problem these days…

  55. I’ve said this a million times. Drug tests are IQ tests.

    We used to tell our people that the sooper secret drug test was going to be next month. 30 days from today. Circle the random drug test day on the calendar so you know when the random drug test is going to happen.

    We’d still have people fail. We actually had one guy fail–good at his job–and he tried to tell us that he was at a party where someone was smoking dope and he must have failed the test because of it.

    A grown man said this.

    That was just embarrassing for everyone.

  56. The left’s goal: Nothing is wrong. Make your own rules and god. The state always makes good choices for you and your family….I mean the state’s family.

  57. a buddy of mine runs horse farms down state – can’t keep US citizens on the job; he relies on messicans

  58. My BIL is an HR exec at a huge food supplier. They have distribution centers all over the country and they can’t staff the fork truck or material handler positions for anything.

    Drug tests and background checks eliminate almost everyone applying.

  59. graphic
    http://tinyurl.com/ybcdo5l9

  60. I’ve got to find the math on this but I highly suspect that there’s a very large portion of Americans that have decided not to work, regardless of available jobs or pay.

  61. equipment operations accidents can get ugly quick –
    i been around a few.

  62. Seems as though if you really want to work you’ll lay off the weed. You know, because it’s no big thing, not addictive and not a gateway.

  63. Drug tests and background checks eliminate almost everyone applying.

    At least I know I’ve always git a job waiting for me.

  64. My dad saw a guy get squished in half in the Navy.

    Which reminds me. When HS shows up, he owes me $4.99. I rented that movie, ‘The Autopsy of Jane Doe’ and could barely watch it.

    Gross. And if he mentions anything about her boobs, its super gross because corpse boobs are not good boobs.

  65. I’ve got to find the math on this but I highly suspect that there’s a very large portion of Americans that have decided not to work, regardless of available jobs or pay.

    Safety net = hammock.

  66. i agree with you mj – laziness (?) must be becoming a more popular thing

  67. The NEET meme is catching on here, too. People are taking pride in becoming sponges.

  68. Safety net = hammock.

    ———

    Nailed it.

  69. What is NEET?

  70. ‘Not in Education, Employment or Training’

    We used to call them “bums”, but that’s judgemental and shit.

  71. Yep, we called them “bums” too. Still do. Bums, losers, leeches.

  72. Eh fuck it. I’ll just fork over an ever increasing amount of money to the state.

  73. I worked one summer, when I was 19, at a beef packing plant. On every break there were guys lighting up joints and passing them around the dressing room. I only went in there because I had to piss. It was amazing to me. These guys were using razor sharp butcher knives and high speed band saws for a living and doing it while high. I didn’t go back the next summer.

    I would guess, I have no data to back it up, but I’d guess that mandatory USDOT drug testing for truck drivers costs transportation companies an extra $3-5 per hour per employee due to the constant shortage of drivers. The new, much stricter, process for obtaining a CDL is not helping either. Thanks, Obama.

  74. Yep, we called them “bums” too. Still do. Bums, losers, leeches.

    I saw a guy with about 2 inches thick of plastic walmart sacks duct taped to each foot for shoes yesterday. I don’t want to know what kind of life choices he made that led to that shit.

  75. Given the disincentives to working for a living (and the increasingly slim margins of doing so), it’s no wonder folks don’t want to bother.

    Hell, I’m about there myself, but I still have some self-respect remaining. Get back to me in five years, though.

  76. It’s nice that those who decide not to work can still afford drugs, cigarettes, and tattoos.

  77. I saw a guy with about 2 inches thick of plastic walmart sacks duct taped to each foot for shoes yesterday.

    I don’t want to know what kind of life choices he made that led to that shit.

    —–

    That made me laugh, although I know, intellectually, mental illness isn’t all that funny.

  78. I do NOT, NOT understand “I have no money” and yet they are often very tatted up.

    Another bizarre life choice. No money? No problem! I’m going to pay for something permanent that says, “I LIVE TO PARTY” and it’s going to hurt!

  79. My guess is that there’s an entire underground economy that his supplemented by government assistance.

    Guys who do jobs for cash but still get welfare.

  80. Cool.
    Just got a like new G Shock for $10 at a thrift store. As well as 3 really ugly shirts for $1 each and a few Brad Thor books on the cheap – I only knew the name from someone at the other place (no Ben Coes to be found).

    I’m happy for the day.

  81. After 10 years on the new farm, I could probably bring my official income down enough to get EITC money back, eat like a king, and only work about 20 hours a week.

  82. This may or may not be my actual retirement plan. It’s too early to tell.

  83. You have that weed and mushroom cash to figure in, too.

  84. Guy just sent me a few early pictures of my table. The top and base are done – not assembled. Gotta get the stain.

    WEEEEEE

  85. leon is bald, Walter White is bald.

    Coincidence? Gibbs says coincidences don’t exist.

  86. I’m thinking that I am the opposite of everyone here and don’t fit in very well…

    I have no money. I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention, and often work odd jobs for cash – but rest assured that I don’t have tattoos, I have never taken a penny in govt cheese, and could pass any drug test that you cared to administer (including a hair follicle examination).

    Not every loser is a hobo (my house was paid off when I was 42).

  87. There was a guy who did farm labor in Socorro. His “wife” arranged all the jobs. Cash only, worked really hard all the time. She was pulling in $45K in welfare payments and subsidies for their 5 kids. He was pulling in all the low income stuff too. They did very well.

  88. I went to my 39th HS reunion this weekend. Usually people don’t have a 39th, but our class seems to always piggyback onto another class and so we kinda semi sorta crashed the class of 77’s 40th. Two guys I ran with a little in HS who lived fast and hard back then have not changed their ways like most of us have. I’d give one of them about 4-5 years left to live on this earth and the other one possibly 10.

    It’s unsettling at my age to see a guy drink damned near a fifth of vodka during the course of the evening, smoke a pack of Camels, and still be trying to hit on all the married women. Also, he decided I needed to see about 50 pictures off his phone of naked hooks that he’d done in Costa Rico, Honduras, and Guatamala. It was all just kinda surreal for a guy who’s 57 and been happily married to the same woman for 35 years.

  89. Meh, I have no issue with poor, working odd jobs, or anything like that. There’s a safety net for a reason and I’m all for it.

    What I have a problem with is abusing the system.

    And yes, you fit it.

  90. And by surreal, I mean fucked up.

  91. Amen, MJ. I don’t mind contributing to those down on their luck. Subsidizing a whole class, though? Nope.

    I think you fit in fine, chi. Just haven’t seen something that struck your fancy. Kinda like MJ and places to live.

  92. 58 degrees and raining.

  93. It was 61 this morning when I walked the dog. Coolest it’s been in 2 weeks, and it felt great.

  94. MJ, you meant “fit in”, right?

    leon is bald, Walter White is bald.

    I was bald first, and came by it naturally. He had chemo.

    And I’d sooner make vodka than meth.

  95. Thank You, MJ.
    But, I guarantee that most here would dismiss me as a hipster douchebag if they passed me on the street (hell, I probably would too).
    I wear plaid cargo shorts with loud Hawaiian shirts and combat boots on a daily basis. September marks two years of not shaving (everyone hates that – ask Miley). We’re talking Billy Gibbons or Uncle Si territory…

    I was a hipster before being a hipster was hipster!

  96. that can be arranged…

  97. Oh, so you dress like Sean. Or MJ, leon, scott (not shorts though), Dave (Hawaiian shirt).

    Not at all classy like me or Hotspur.

  98. Lots of people here have tattoos, the point being having little money and spending it on tatts. And working jobs odd or otherwise is a great thing! You fit in fine.

  99. MJ, you meant “fit in”, right?
    —————–
    Yeah.

  100. I don’t wear Hawaiian shirts, though. Too loud and confining.

  101. I have nothing against tats . Don’t really really large ones on pretty girls, but whatevs.

    I have actually wanted one for a while, but the most original thing I can think of is the old biker “Mom” in a heart on the upper arm (I LOVE my Mom).
    Or maybe the Thrush logo like H.I. McDonough & Leonard Smalls had in Raising Arizona?

  102. Sharpies are cheap.

  103. Sharpies are cheap

    As cheap as your mom?

  104. Tattoos on a pretty girl are at best not a detraction from the beauty. At best.

  105. “Poor” folks in crappy housing, whining about oh it’s so hard, I can’t afford to do better blah blah, meanwhile they have this tricked out ride with spinning rims, running lights, and a stereo system whose base gives the USGS fits whenever it’s turned all the way up.

    Tell me again about this government-mandated compassion thing.

  106. /cancels “get group tattoo at Red Room in lapeer” from Laperpalooza:The One Where MJ Goes Missing itinirary.

    Whatever, I have lots of things to fill the time with

    /call Karla at Crossfit and ask if she can do a special group thing

  107. Just have plenty of chairs and a cooler handy, I’ll go to Crossfit!

  108. Equal rights = the world needs male crossfit cheerleaders

  109. Will there be women in lycra with robust haunches?

    I could go once.

  110. They don’t mind if we sit and drink beer, do they?

  111. Three and a half weeks and I can almost walk without a limp.

  112. “Three and a half weeks and I can almost walk without a limp.”
    ========
    That’s the last time you’ll sass Laura….

  113. “Three and a half weeks and I can almost walk without a limp.”
    hard to shake the ghetto hop…
    http://tinyurl.com/y86ddovw

  114. only commies don’t like Hawaiian shirts

  115. Don’t blame leon, they are all really big, and look like a dress on him.

  116. My old Kindle finally gave up the ghost….

    Thankfully, Mr. TiFW just bought a new one, so his old one is now my “new” one 😁

  117. According to Dr. Google I have popliteus tendinitis.

    Recovery is 6 – 12 weeks.

  118. As opposed to my ongoing case of peopleitis suckitis, generally considered a chronic condition.

  119. According to Dr. Google I have popliteus tendinitis.

    What part of “ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM WHEN YOU’RE WITH HOTSPUR’S MOTHER” did you not understand?

  120. I don’t mind if others wear them, I just find them uncomfortable and I don’t wear loud colors.

  121. *still waiting for Carin’s Garden Blog post*

  122. The popliteus muscle is imaginary

    Does it burn when you pee?

  123. *wonders if Leon is referencing condoms or Hawaiian shirts*

  124. I don’t wear condoms either.

    Except with your mom.

  125. Joe Bastardi just linked this on twitter. Pretty cool, you can zoom in to different regions
    http://en.blitzortung.org/live_lightning_maps.php?map=30

  126. Awesome link, Scott. Keeping my eye on Southwestern NM⚡️

  127. Perfect:

    Comment by Yo Soy Senor Pendejo on July 24, 2017 3:50 pm
    According to Dr. Google I have popliteus tendinitis.
    What part of “ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM WHEN YOU’RE WITH HOTSPUR’S MOTHER” did you not understand?

    Comment by leoncaruthers on July 24, 2017 4:36 pm
    I don’t mind if others wear them, I just find them uncomfortable and I don’t wear loud colors.

  128. Chi is worried about fitting in with paste eating window lickers? Or did Radish call us paste eaters and window lickers? MMMM…paste.

  129. Hawaiian condoms.

  130. Pretty sure that came from doubleplusundead

  131. I got it from Heather Radish in a comment at the HQ. Did she steal it from DPUD? Narrows eyes suspiciously

  132. That was a first.
    I just got yelled at and practically kicked out of a used appliance store by Aunt Esther. I’m not sure if it was my my Hawaiian shirt or my disparaging remarks about the picture of Chicago Jesus she had on the wall…
    Her husband chased me into the parking lot to make the sale, though. My buddy will get his new fridge in a day orr two.

  133. Wiserbud.
    There’s a name I haven’t seen in ages. Hope you are doing well. The knuckledraggers around here seem to think highly of you.

  134. http://i.imgur.com/IeTXycw.gifv

  135. Leon! I spied a pumpkin hidden in the tall grass that’s already half the size of a soccer ball. Looks like 8-9 inches across. It’s adorable. I’m naming it Billy.

  136. Obligatory:

  137. Lauraw has rodents and a pumpkin. Bibbidi bobbidi Fat Bastard. I’d pay to watch that…yeah

  138. We might be out of rodents.

  139. Yay Scott!!!!

  140. 2nd floor bathroom sniper station worked well.

  141. Connecticut Sniper.

  142. We could sell Fat Bastard tees.

  143. Possum tees and Fat Bastard tees. Trying to work in America’s Mitten in the H2 logo

  144. Why is there no WATR swag? No DOTW? Are we not Hostages? Where’s Chumpo?

  145. Ugh. Those brussels sprouts I ate with lunch are creating an issue.

  146. Brussels sprouts? Ugh

  147. I’m on week 2 of Dan making “Chunky Salads”. WTF eats radishes?

  148. Are we not Hostages?

    We are Devo.

  149. OT. I work with a couple that Dan and I call “Lowered Expectations”. Google the MadTv. At least they married. He has the medical SSDI. Dan just found out LE’s name is Ben. Queue Michael Jackson. See also one of the few songs I mastered on piano. Ben. Heart and Soul. Greensleeves

  150. Are we not Hostages?

    We are Devo.

    We’re through being cool.

  151. Guy at work sells bootlegged firesticks. I still believe illegal streaming is wrong. My new nick at work is St Constance.

  152. Black Mike at work was hurt that Dan didn’t invite to camping trip. Black Mike: I like white people camping. Dan: Connie is Messican. Black Mike: Connie is Messican? Can we family camp just us?

  153. All you need is two card tricks and you can get your face on a tortilla.

  154. As cheap as your mom?

    Hah! And you don’t think you fit in?

    We are not nearly as judgmental as most blergs.

    Except for Mare, but I don’t believe she really exists.

    If’n you start a wordpress blerg and want to embed yourself further, Chi, we have proof of life pages and secrete piture pages where you can see the hostages in all their glory. Cost of admission is a picture of your own and admin rights assigned. You might write a post or two here or there if you have the mind to do so.

  155. That’s Saint Princess Constance.

  156. Our rental (duplex) is being painted, Nessie the Wonder Dog is hoarse from all the barking at mexicans out the windows.

    There is fucking paint everywhere, not very judiciously applied.

  157. I am wearing my tiara. While commenting

  158. Same offer goes to you Brother Cavil.

    (Not the blogging, just the barking out the window part.)

  159. Pups, since ’09, Dan has taken painting, tiling, landscaping jobs under the radar. Makes me crazy that the underground economy is not only thriving, but white guys with a work ethic are benefitting as well.

  160. “I am wearing my tiara. While commenting”
    Me too
    Wiser loaned me one.

  161. Our rental (duplex) is being painted, Nessie the Wonder Dog is hoarse from all the barking at mexicans out the windows.

    https://is.gd/ZSZTxn

  162. Wiser has been busy posting leg selfies on FB. Smart enough not to post leg bath selfies while charging phone. 14 yr old Darwin. Hammocked Darwin just a wee bit better than bath time selfie

  163. Osotranslator on aisle two, please.

  164. You are right, Sean. I suppose the could be Guatamalan or Salvadorian. I shall inform she who barks.

  165. That’s awesome, Laura. I have not seen any fruit on my vines yet, but I haven’t checked under all the leaves. So far my biggest curcubit appears to be the volunteer squmpkin I just saw out in the main garden. Looked to be the size of my fist. Only one cucumber so far of any variety, and it looks like a lemon that wants to be a conch when it grows up.

    The squmpkin might be a cantaloupe. I hope it is.

  166. Wiser has been busy posting leg selfies on FB. Smart enough not to post leg bath selfies while charging phone. 14 yr old Darwin. Hammocked Darwin just a wee bit better than bath time selfie

    *snort* I actually understood this. That damn wiser.

  167. I wouldn’t dare bark out the window. The cat might take offense and he knows where I sleep.

  168. Wiser posted leg pics on Hammock day. Oso expressed concern about hammock injuries through the years. Recently, in Texas, a 14 year old was charging her phone while taking bath tub selfies. Charging phone fell in tub. Killed in tub. Darwin

  169. MILLION DOLLAR IDEA*

    Spanish remake of White Dog starring Nessie. Perro Blanco, the dog who hates immigrants. Reviewers would be falling all over each other to call it “timely” and “relevant.”
     
     
     
    *Million dollars in the form of a tax write-off, since it would likely do quite poorly at the box office

  170. MaryAnn hates people on wheels and people at bus stops. She really hates “Forrest”. (Mexican guy that runs 24/7 with weighted backpack and ankle weights)

  171. Wiser has nicely arched feet. Hairy legs. Rex Ryan approved

  172. I knew that would kill it.

  173. When Laura passed her exams and got her degree, Scott celebrated like only he could.

    https://i.imgur.com/3vo1h0m.gifv

  174. Hairy legs, but not missing-link kind of hairy.

  175. Make it stop.

  176. He has well turned calves. Dainty ankles for a man though.

  177. Damn, Tushar. That’s kinda…….I don’t know what to say.

  178. ATTENTION, FRAGILE WEIRDOS:

    I’ve read up on the law. If you can’t tell me what actual task your little Shih-Tzu performs for you, it’s not a Service Dog, and you’re not entitled to bring it into a place of business because it “calms you down.” And you can buy the little vest and card online. So fuck off.

  179. service dogs are a scam.

    Seriously.

  180. Actual Service Dogs are amazing animals who do important tasks for people with real disabilities.

    “Emotional Comfort Animals” are a scam.

  181. >>>Wiserbud.
    There’s a name I haven’t seen in ages. Hope you are doing well. The knuckledraggers around here seem to think highly of you.

    I am kind of a God to these window-lickers.

  182. >>>>He has well turned calves. Dainty ankles for a man though.

    Thank you for noticing…

    It’s the softball…

  183. Oh my dear God…..

    I just saw an ad for an app that allows people to text their “therapist” on their phones for “only $32 a week”

    WTF?

  184. Hope they can speak Chinese or Indian.

  185. I’ve thought about getting my buddy certified as a service dog, simply because it’s so easy these days. I take him everywhere I can (Home Depot, Lowes, PetSmart).
    But I know that it detracts from the importance of the actual need for the real deal, so I won’t diminish that by getting some fake shit off the interwebs.

  186. Service animals/scam service animals still less likely to poop in public than illegals or reservation indians

  187. Oh my dear God…..

    I just saw an ad for an app that allows people to text their “therapist” on their phones for “only $32 a week

  188. Oh my dear God…..

    I just saw an ad for an app that allows people to text their “therapist” on their phones for “only $32 a week”

    And how did that make you feel?

  189. Oh my dear God…..

    I just saw an ad for an app that allows people to text their “therapist” on their phones for “only $32 a week

    And, Dr Phil’s “doctor on demand” program just hit the big time by making it to The H2…

  190. Paws&Stripes like to train Service Animals at the Club

  191. I’ve watched cute pups fail to pass the entrance exam. My favorite was the Boston Terrier that couldn’t make it past the jewelry counter

  192. If you are paying $32 a week to text your “therapist”, you really need to consider contacting a financial advisor instead…

    Or maybe signing up for the Totally Awesome Super Frantagulistic Wiserbud-Approved Life-Correcting Personal Text-Based HappyFun Program for Goodness!

    For only $20 per week, I will send you life-affirming texts every single day that will make you happy that you signed up for the Totally Awesome Super Frantagulistic Wiserbud-Approved Life-Correcting Personal Text-Based HappyFun Program for Goodness and never ever want to stop!

    Just imagine how happy you will be when wiserbud texts you life-affirming messages every single day (as long as your account remains active)…

    And as long as you keep your super-happy-fun-loon account active, I will also send you life-affirming offers for magic water and awesome t-shirts that you are required to purchase, or you are a complete waste of human flesh, you vile, pathetic, infected pustule on the ass-cheek of humanity.

    JOIN NOW!

  193. Use promo code “H2” and I will charge you an extra $12 per month to not call you a useless, pathetic wormwho was despised by its parents and will never account for anything in this world.

    ACT NOW!

  194. Just send me Wiser Margs and we’ll call it even.

  195. Too lazy to acronym TASFWALCPTBHFPFG

  196. “Margs”?

  197. Damn, I wish I could stay up and analyze oso’s comments….

  198. Margaritas.

  199. They look and sound yummy

  200. Not so much Wiser legs.

  201. Started the day with Tucker’s. Finished with WB Vaguebooking. Leg selfies are the dealio

  202. I work with people that don’t get South Park or Simpson references. I have a Kahn Jr name tag worn around people that have never watched King of the Hill

  203. I know Sean just dropped a Futurama pic

  204. I’ve never really watched Futuramam. Sen exactly three episodes of Southpark (Tom cruise is in the closet).

    KOTH is the shit, though. “Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug ya.”
    (I can do a pretty solid Hank impression, btw)

  205. Hubby was Hank to my Bobby 20 years ago this Halloween

  206. I decided to sugar out tonight. Ice cream over bourbon.

  207. A smile to hide the fear away
    Oh derp this man across the walls
    Like strawberries and cream
    Its the only way to be

  208. i didn’t know that jay was an uber driver:
    http://tinyurl.com/ybpdzarn

  209. Using terms like “Statin Denier” isn’t going to help their cause

    http://annals.org/aim/article/2645554/statin-denial-internet-driven-cult-deadly-consequences

  210. STAY IN THE BACK, I’M BUSY!

  211. It’s an Ape-a-thon on IFC. All of the old Planet Of The Apes movies running from 0600-1600. With commercials unfortunately.

  212. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the prevalence of elevated low-density lipoprotein cholesterol levels (>4.1 mmol/L [160 mg/dL], >3.4 mmol/L [130 mg/dL], and >2.6 mmol/L [100 mg/dL] for low-, medium-, and high-risk persons, respectively) declined from 59% to 28% between 1980 and 2010 (2). Average low-density lipoprotein cholesterol levels decreased from 3.3 mmol/L (129 mg/dL) in 1988 to 1994 to 3.0 mmol/L (116 mg/dL) in 2007 to 2010.

    So? I don’t see anything in there about heart attacks or mortality. As I’ve read it, statins are fantastic at interrupting normal cholesterol metabolism, thus reducing these numbers. They don’t have any statistical effect on mortality from a first heart attack, and one study found that they reduce a chance of a fatal second heart attack by 0.5% (and only in men), and that’s the one that found any evidence at all of an effect on mortality. They also damage your ability to make and repair neural tissue, and contribute to sarcopenia. But they bring down LDL (and HDL) numbers, so they must be good! There’s also a multi-billion-dollar industry to think about! They couldn’t possibly be engaged in protecting their rice bowls with the journal equivalent of fake news. No one does that.

    Read an article recently that said part of the reason statins may work at all is that they make it slightly harder to accumulate iron. Skip the statins and donate blood. There’s actual science behind that, and it explains why men see any benefit at all from them, and women don’t appear to.

  213. I deny all of the things!!!

  214. The adverse effects on muscle and neural tissue are definitely a turn off.

  215. Donating blood is one of those things I always mean to do but never get around to

  216. I had just lost 20 # when I donated for the first time, so my liver enzyme count was high since it hadn’t ramped down yet, but they saw the count and said “he’s got tuberculosis!” and wouldn’t let me donate after that without me getting tested and submitting paperwork.

    So I haven’t bothered. It’s been 20 years and I really should just go and beg them to draw it and throw it away if they like. I’ll pay to have it done.

  217. wakey wakey

  218. Where is errybody?

  219. Who the heck knows. I’ve got ISSUES this morning, man. Someone else is going to have to take my spot for a bit.

  220. *little grey wig and skort crawl out of drawer and jump on me*

    Whoah! Hey, what’s this??

    Oh, sorry, not today. I have to go meet somebody.

    Shoo! Shoo!

    *little grey wig and skort slump against my leg*

    That’s very cute, but you have to go back to the drawer.

  221. I need to check the pumpkin mound for fruits today. I really should have dug up my potatoes this morning, but didn’t get up early enough.

  222. My pumpkin mounds look good.

    /that’s what he said

  223. I’ve got lots of flowers, but only one fruit is starting to set so far.

  224. New post for post lovers.

  225. My mound looks amazingly healthy, but not too many flowers or fruits yet. I planted them on Memorial Day this year, which is two weeks earlier than last year, and last year I was cutting pumpkins off the vines after Halloween. They’re a fairly long-season fruit. Sort of thing you’d use to feed hogs and chickens through the winter.


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