Weekend Good Boy




  1. I don’t choose to oppress my dogs with gender since they’ve never told me which gender they identify with.

    wakey wakey

    “Good Xe”

  2. https://is.gd/KX4qN0

  3. https://is.gd/6jlM5N

  4. I can’t tell my dogs they’re good boys. Lying to such innocent idiots feels wrong.

  5. VP Pence touched Orion flight hardware with “do not touch” sign. Sigh. It’s titanium, so it’ll clean up easily enough. Must be like “wet paint”.

  6. Next time just run a little electricity through it. :)

  7. Shut your whore mouths! In advance. Meathead has a wonderful white sauce recipe and we’ve made it several times for pork shoulder. I think it’s better on that than chicken.

  8. Who’s a good boy? Pupster, that’s who!!

  9. Get off work at 11. Go home, sleep for a few hours. Come back to work at 6:30.

    I’m terrible at weekending.

  10. Today is move-in day for the old farts. Pray for us.

    Still working on a few things. Both kids are in town…1. for a baptism, and 2. to help install door knobs and clean out all the tools and debris.

    Beasnette walked in the door this morning wearing the same Olympic trial t-shirt I was wearing. We squinted at each other and walked downstairs together and asked beasnson and Mr. B. if they wanted to play with us. (Not that way you sick pervs SYWM!)

    K…off to wash down the shower stall and touch-up paint some shit.

  11. *hands Sean some diet Dr. Pepper spiked with sriracha sauce to get him through the morning*

  12. I made Meathead’s white sauce chicken. It was – meh. But then I do not like chicken. I will try it on a pork butt. Shut your whore mouths. After the fact.

  13. Plus it made a huge fucking mess of the grill.

  14. Hahahaha, Mr. RFH took a pic of German feldspar for me.

    Von nirgendwo ist es Feldspat bumsend.

  15. Good luck with the move, Beasn.

  16. Since we’re on the subject of dogs, fuck this bitch.

  17. I need to prune all the suckers on my tomato plants, but Mrs. Caruthers is away all day at her Realtor class. Possum is, shall we say, unhelpful in the garden.

  18. LOL who changed the prompt?

  19. Is a shut off valve for a lawn sprinkler system inside or out?

    I only see one shut off on the basement and that looks like it’s for the whole house, not outdoors.

  20. In cold climates they are usually inside. Do you see the controller mounted to a wall in the basement?

  21. Trace backward from where the spout comes out of the house. If there’s a suspended ceiling you may have to check above it.

  22. Hotspur, do you have a fence guy that wants a gig? I am thinking it’s time to either sell my place to the neighbor so he shuts up about it or remove one wall of my fence and replace it with privacy fencing on the property line.

  23. Holy crap, Redfin says my house is worth 240k. We bought at 162k back in 2011. If we got even close to that it’d get be back all the money I lost selling the Ann Arbor house and then some.

  24. Allied Fence in Ypsilanti. They’re usually very busy. Tell them I referred you.

  25. “Yes, Hotspur recomme- hello? Hello? They hung up.”

  26. Here’s some fake news for you.

  27. Plus the money you will save if the Mrs gets her license.

  28. You know who’s eaten a huge bag of democratic dick?

    John McCain, that’s who.

  29. Lena Dunham is seriously, a horrible person.

  30. Hotspur, would you check your link?

  31. With her resources she should be able to bring in the best dog behavioralist in the country and help her doggie feel secure and happy.

    But, no, that unhappy, insecure bitch (lena) has projected her bullshit onto her dog. She’s a selfish whore.

  32. Oh, and Hotspur, I use the white sauce more as a dipping sauce.

    And all you assholes with a whore mouth can shove it up your ass.

    (I’m kind of angry about the whole Lena Dunham being a shitty person deal)

  33. Someone in her life has a dog allergy.

  34. If the neighbor wants it, we won’t need an agent in any case, just a title transfer. He apparently asked the other neighbor about the adjoining 10 acres on the other side already, but that’s vacant.

    Thanks Hotspur, I’ll get in touch with them next week.

  35. Someone in her life has a dog allergy

    I think it’s that boyfriend dude that refuses to marry the nasty bitch.
    And then she went out & got two more dogs.

  36. Comment by scott on July 8, 2017 12:48 pm

    Someone in her life has a dog allergy.

    The funny thing is that would be a lot more understandable. “I love the dog, but cannot keep him to due health issues of someone I love, so I’ve asked the shelter to help find a new home for him and will pay to ensure that he’s cared for until it happens.”

  37. Hahahaha, Mr. RFH took a pic of German feldspar for me.


  38. Hotspur, would you check your link?

    Oops, my bad. Now try it.

  39. Alex,
    The article I read yesterday said she knew her man was allergic, but got the dog anyway while he was out of town or something.
    What an ugly person…

  40. Video has surfaced of Trump’s meeting with Putin.

  41. Chi, yeah she sounds like a real winner. No wonder he doesn’t want to marry her.

  42. Ok, so I just looked him up on wikipedia.

    In June 2014, Antonoff said he was “desperate” for kids, explaining:

    It just seems like the most fun thing in the world. I’ve never met people who have kids who haven’t looked me in the eye and been like, “It’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened.” … I think it’s biological. I’m 30. I’m not that young, right? I’m not, like, 24 or 22. I’m no longer in the phase of my life where I talk about everything as in the future. Like, I’m in the future.[5]

    Antonoff has spoken publicly about his struggles with depression, anxiety and obsessive–compulsive disorder. He claims that hearing of others’ battles with depression made him feel “not better, but not alone” and “way less scared.”[26] As of June 2014, Antonoff was seeing both a therapist and a psychopharmacologist, while also taking anti-anxiety medications. He has germophobia which was exacerbated by a bout of pneumonia that he suffered in 2011 while recording a studio album for his band fun. His pulmonologist prescribed a daily run, but he explained that he hates it “more than anything” because it is “one of the most truly boring experiences on Earth.”

    Yeah, I’m willing to bet that relationship is abusive and manipulative and not healthy in the slightest.

  43. She’s not really marriage material. More of a side chick. And by that, I mean she’s a chick that you leave on the side of a road somewhere.

  44. By side chick, I mean one I’d like to slap upside the head.

  45. Seriously, if your girlfriend is 31, covered in tattoos, and not dragging you by the hair to the altar while throwing away all her birth control… something is wrong with the relationship.

  46. OK. Whatever I just flung was either a tick or a spider, and it is in this room somewhere, but I can’t find it.

    Advice needed:

    Burn the house down with gasoline, or kerosene?

  47. Scott’s gonna be pissed. That’s three houses this year.

  48. OK. found it. Phew. It’s one of those itty-bitty-teensy bees. They don’t sting.

  49. I was just gonna suggest you seal up all the windows and doors and just vent your hump, but it looks like you’ve got it under control.

  50. By side chick, I mean like a rotten, moldy side of beef thelat even hungry stray dogs wouldn’t touch.

    OK – time to shower so I can go visit with some cousins that are in town. Have seen them since the summer of 1977 when I was ten.
    (Danny taught me to drive his van on the family farm. Up in Michigan, btw)

  51. Parking lot naptime. There’s an old black lady with a white mustache next to us messing around in her trunk.

    1) menopause can be
    b) wax that shit you gross creature

  52. Okay, she’s gone. Not kidding, I’ve seen motorcycle cops with thinner mustaches.

  53. I’ve seen motorcycle cops with thinner mustaches.

  54. *pictures Ossie Davis in a dress*

  55. *makes mental note to keep finger on upper lip if I ever meet Leon*

  56. There is more shit being moved in than there is space.

    “Oh, we will have to give a lot of that to Goodwill”.

    “Um, why didn’t you do that before you got here?”

  57. Goodwill is a scam.

  58. I’ve already had to put my FiL in a headlock for trying to go outside by himself, with no cane or walker.

    They love the place, btw.

    “Oh, this is the nicest house I’ve ever lived in.”

    (It is nicer than their other places because they can’t pick out nice paint for shit and were too cheap to get themselves nice light fixtures.)

  59. Sean, I know but it’s either them or the dump. They had that junk place pick up a bunch of stuff this past Thursday but why they didn’t take all the crap, I’ll never know.

  60. “She’s not really marriage material. More of a side chick. And by that, I mean she’s a chick that you leave on the side of a road somewhere.”


  61. Srsly, their old crap is making the place dark. Going to have to crochet light colored throws for them.

  62. People get stressed out by moving. And it can be hard to get rid of stuff, even when it’s junk you never use. There’s always a part of the brain that says “Hey, I bought this for a reason” or “I know this will come in handy someday” or “That has DNA evidence on it, and I’ll go to prison if anyone finds it and traces it back to me.”

    You know how it is.

  63. Leon, some old ladies get facial hair thick and wiry like a man’s. This kind of hair is extremely painful to rip out and can bleed and/or stay inflamed for a long time.

    At some point, many of them in this situation say Fuck it. Having people react to them strangely, or knowing that they are being derided behind their back, is less painful than waxing.

    White ladies resort to bleaching the hair so it blends better. I suppose in her case she could use hair dye, but I’m pretty sure that’s dangerous to put near the nose and lip area.

  64. I know, Laura, and I get it. It’s just that she literally looked like George Jefferson in a dress. It was spooky.

  65. If we end up moving this year… ugh. Every dresser we have was built where it stands. Moving them will suck. I might just suck it up and hire people this time.

  66. I’m pretty good at getting rid of stuff when I put the effort in. Unfortunately that only happens a couple of times a year and life events eventually interfere with my efforts.

  67. My MiL loves to throw things away. So that isn’t an issue. My husband already took a truckload over to Goodwill.

    They also store their stuff weird. Each has two dressers in their rooms but my MiL puts some of her stuff in his room and some of his stuff in her room and I just found a bunch of dishtowels in her dresser drawer.

    “Hey mom, how about putting all the dishtowels in the kitchen where there are drawers specifically for that stuff. And you know, easy access..no running to your room when you need a clean one.”

    “But these are the new ones.”

    New dishtowels sitting in a small pile in a large dresser drawer with nothing else. A dresser drawer she could put more of her clothes in instead of in my FiL’s dresser.


  68. Blueberry eating squirrel has moved to the country to live on a farm.


  70. Call the squirrel “Blister,” scott. laura will get a kick out of that.

  71. The Adventures of Blueberry Squirrel

    Once upon a time in a little town there lived a little squirrel who loved blueberries. He’d jump from tree to tree all day collecting nuts and seeds, but whenever he saw a blueberry bush in bloom he always had to go look closer. He’d find ripe, juicy blueberries and eat his full. His life was one of happiness and carefree living.

    One day, while running from tree to tree, he spied a garden. This garden was wonderful and lush and well-cared for. And in this garden was the most beautiful blueberry bush that Blueberry Squirrel had ever seen.

    “I have to go down there and taste those blueberries!” He thought, with joy.

    This was, in the long run, a terrible mistake.


  72. We’ve had a ton of squirrels this year. I hate the bastards, they get into everything. You know it’s bad when Penelope cuts a firing port in the screen at the kitchen window. No idea how many we’ve killed, maybe 30?

  73. You know what new housemates bring when they move in? Their smell.
    *thinks about moving in with the squirrels*

  74. The Corpse of the Blueberry Squirrel

    (sung to the tune of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald)

  75. Not that the new housemates stink.

  76. Just hang a new tree freshener from your car, beasn.

  77. Almost 6 o’clock and it’s reading 93° here. This is brutal…

  78. Hepa filter and some beeswax candles. Or cook with allspice and cloves until your sense of smell is dead.

  79. Curry. Lots of Curry.

  80. Patchouli.

  81. Last meal was at 9pm last night. Two more hours to go until I hit my 20 hour target. I really want a steak sitting in my fridge right now…

  82. Call the squirrel “Blister,” scott. laura will get a kick out of that.

    Hahhahaaaa! Or Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd T. Squirrel.

    Beasn, Old People Smell can be freshened away with those little buckets of smell absorber they sell at Bed Bath & Beyond. It worked for my old dog. Like Febreze, but more so.

    Or you could keep a little pan of cinnamon in water on a simmer at the stove.

  83. I ate at 330 yesterday, had a small snack at noontime. Waiting for babymomma so I can make a meal of some sort.

  84. Nope, wait, can’t be Todd. He comes back from the dead. Better not be Todd.

  85. Fire hose both of them. Toss a cup of shampoo on them. Burn their clothes. Hand them disposable clothes daily.*

    Yes, much like the Nazies, but stink free.

    *relax everyone, this was just a joke

  86. Pork butt with white sauce….shut it whores….was smash worthy. Winks at MJ.

  87. Mare likes white sauce on her butt. Got it.

  88. Now y’all have made me hungry. I’m taking him out for dinner. His choice – I owe him anyway because he knows my lawn for me. For some odd reason he enjoys it.
    (I hope he picks someplace that has soft shelled crabs, because I have a craving)

  89. Just finished a Cuban sandwich from the Hell Saloon in Hell, MI. Best Cuban north of Florida. Some in Florida aren’t this good.

  90. Him being my buddy from a few blocks away. No, I’m not a chick and I’m not gay either.
    In fact, if you saw 20 people in line at the 7-11 and were asked to pick out the 2 that were least likely to be friends, that’s me and Mike.

  91. Hmmm, now the whole “Mare” thing makes more sense…..


  92. Hmmm, now the whole “Mare” thing makes more sense…..


    Too young to be the girl’s mom. Probably the babysitter.

  93. I said shut your whore mouths, you skanky whores with filthy STD ridden mouths and scum minds.

  94. But I mean that in a nice way.

  95. Watch out, she’s got a riding crop!

  96. I’m here to enforce Mare’s ban on whore moufs.

  97. I’m here to enforce Mare’s ban on whore moufs.

    We’re banning Mare, then?

  98. https://is.gd/cQaLBo

  99. Did Car in move?


  100. Whose turn is it to punch Leon in the cargos?

  101. Leon can carry a lot of junk in his cargos.

  102. CoAlex starts interviewing babysitters, neglects to tell them he doesn’t have any kids……….

  103. I should buy a wedding band and hit the bars and see if the rumors are true.

  104. http://tinyurl.com/kxukvvb

  105. Every year Paula goes to a waterfront concert in Bangor with hot friends from the ER. Every year she sees something outrageous. Last year it was an old lady flashing her tits to the band and a woman being rode doggy style near the portapotties. This year she saw a woman wearing a short dress walking down the street near the concert site. The woman reached down and picked a t-shirt up off the ground and proceeded to wipe her ass with it. I wonder what the next person that picked that shirt up experienced.

  106. Hit bars in small towns in the midwest.

  107. I should buy a wedding band and hit the bars and see if the rumors are true.

    Band or no.


  108. hot = her

  109. Freudian slip.

  110. Jimbro’s correction is disappointing.

  111. her hot

  112. WooHoo! I just got carded by a new cashier. (Can’t wax anymore, stoopid diabetes, have a personal shaver for my upper lip)

  113. Re: Paula’s concert going.

    People are gross.

  114. People are why we can’t have nice things.

  115. People suck.

  116. Well, I probably can’t afford to eat out for at least a month, but it was worth it.
    Fried oysters, huge sweet tender clam strips the size of my thumb, and a crabcake that was 99% blue crab & almost no filler. Plus their wonderful broccoli & hollandaise.
    Sometimes, living a few miles from the Chesapeake Bay has its benefits.

  117. There are a few hotties that work in the ER but these friends aren’t among them. They know all the cops from work and get to jump lines and access the beer tent easily.

  118. Those are the friends you want.

  119. Just watched the remake of The Fly with Jeff Goldblum. I’m hit or miss on her but Geena Davis was definitely hot in that movie.

  120. Pupster, look up Emma Fontanella.


  121. *skips jimbro in the Capt Morgan and coke line

  122. Coke line is the best.

  123. Johnny Cash recommended against taking a shot of cocaine.

  124. CoAlEx, cheap band at WalMart. Scientific method.

  125. Johnny Cash recommended against taking a shot of cocaine.

    Stevie Ray Vaughan used to put a gram of cocaine in a shot of Crown Royal and down it between songs while he was onstage. Hardcore.

  126. Crown & Coke

  127. I bought a bottle of Crown Maple a few years back and had a couple of small glasses. I need a new drink recipe to finish the remaining 95% of the bottle

  128. Who puts radishes in a chunky salad? Carrots? Regular Bell pepper? Freak!!!!

  129. Jimbro, put it on yer waffles 🤣🤣🤣

  130. I typed in Crown Maple recipes…got a hit for ribs.

  131. I bet it would make a good ham glaze.

  132. bought a bottle of Crown Maple a few years back and had a couple of small glasses. I need a new drink recipe to finish the remaining 95% of the bottle

    Maple crown is a mystery. Apple crown has more uses. one regular makes something called an Apple But -crown royal and butterscotch schnapps.

  133. Save it for winter. I bet it’d make a good eggnog.

    Or, give it to Sean to mix with his diet dr pepper “it’s the sweet one!”

  134. Apple Crown and Fireball.

  135. Egg nog. Processed into some sort of syrup. Maybe on ice cream? I dunno. I think it’s probably too gross to use for anything.

  136. ixnay on the dr pepper mixers, chi

  137. apple crown and fireball sounds awesome. Cinnamon apples.

  138. I bet Crown Maple would be good with candied 🥓

  139. 🐻❤️J’ames 😘

  140. Had a pizza tonight. I was wondering something.

    Is it better with the plastic, or cooked on the cardboard? It was pretty good without.

    I’ll hang up and listen.

  141. ONE TIME!!!

  142. It was twice, right?

  143. BTW 2nd time doesn’t count. I never left the plastic on and when Dan reminded me to take the plastic and cardboard off, I was mad cooking. I caught the cardboard before putting the pizza in the oven.

  144. ixnay on the dr pepper mixers, chi

    Oops. Did I break some cardinal rule?

  145. Sean will be 4? Years sober in August. We ❤️ Sean

  146. Well, that’s awesome. Good for you Sean. Sincerely.
    (Still sorry if I offended)

  147. We’re window licking paste eaters that aren’t easily offended. Mama grizzly about very few things.

  148. Hey, if WB is around: Are you making your margs tomorrow? Just wondering how jelly I should be.

  149. no offense intended or given chi. just one of those things.

  150. Still learning who’s who & what’s what around here, but it seems that almost no joke is off the table – I try to remember the score, though.

    And I keep a special stick real close for the express purpose of beating dead horses, so braunschweiger and cargo shorts aren’t going away any time soon…

  151. No joke is off the table. Equal opportunity. Sean is probably thicker skinned than some of us.

  152. I think it’s six years in August.

    Also, I think CoAlex wasn’t around for the feldspar joke and pics.

  153. German feldspar?

  154. 6 years? Wow. RL friend just celebrated 7 years.

  155. We specialize in beating dead horses. Sorry mare.

    Example: plastic wrap and pizza jokes.

  156. Heh. Bull whips?

  157. Isn’t braunschweiger made from dead horses?

  158. A few days ago, someone left dead kittens in a sack in a shopping cart. Could not tell if dead kittens died before being dumped in bag in shopping cart. Today, mommy cat was going from vehicle to vehicle in parking lot. Electronics team lead rescued mama kitty. I H8 people

  159. Heh. Bull whips?

    Within minutes of introducing myself, I was asked that question three times!
    That’s how I figured that everything is kosher here.

  160. I’m pretty sure it’s six years next month for Sean. I was still recovering from the stupid heart surgery and teaching Rocketboy to drive prior to his sophomore year in high school. I quit making comments about “dear God, I could use a drink”. Sean told me it was up to him, not me to stay sober and to not worry about it. (I worried anyway because that’s who I am.)

  161. 3X? Why not 4?

  162. Yeah, roamy, the questions don’t bother Sean, I’m sure. They just embarrass us who ask them.

  163. Starting Wednesday, I’ll be in the boonies. No wifi. No phone. Pray for Oso.

  164. Boonies? Tulies? Sticks?

  165. walking past the wifi range again? nice!

  166. We’re staying in a lodge close to the campsite. 😘

  167. Prayers for Dan being out in the woods with a wifi-less Oso.

  168. We’ll have booze

  169. As long as it’s not Maple Crown & diet Dr Pepper…

  170. G’night. WordPress is being fucktarded

  171. G’night, crazy beat. Thanks for the conversation.

  172. Bear. Bear is actually a word, y’know, autocucumber.

    Just finished a really nice movie I picked up at the thrift store last week – The Secrets Of Jonathan Sperry.
    I’d liken it to a very Christian version of Stand By Me or The Sandlot. Bittersweet. Heartwrenching, inspirational.

  173. Heh. I was reading upthread just now, and no, I was not offended by the Diet Dr Pepper mixers comment, Chi. You’re new around here, so it’s not like you could really know that I don’t drink. But, yeah, if I can keep on the right track, it’ll be six years at the end of August. That said, no jokes are really off the table here, and if you want to needle me about anything, feel free to do so.

  174. Some boys hate themselves
    Spend their lives resenting their fathers
    Some girls hate their bodies
    Derp in the mirror and wait for the feedback

  175. Early morning fracture fixing is the best kind

  176. http://www.youngcons.com/president-trump-stops-to-return-marines-hat-before-stepping-onto-marine-one/

    Now try to imagine Obama doing that.

  177. Pupster, look up Emma Fontanella.

    She seems nice.

  178. I was telling Mr. RFH all the things that happened while he was gone and went looking for my great-nephew’s FB status about his fatty liver diagnosis so I could get the details right. It’s gone, along with all the other statuses from the ER that night. Wtf. I don’t know if it’s FB being Facedouche or my nephew’s wife deleting stuff.

    Still don’t understand how a kid that young could have fatty liver, but I think Leon is right about a heavy carb diet being the culprit.

  179. Making fwah grah (sp.) usually starts by feeding a duck so much fructose that it gets fatty liver disease, fwiw.

  180. New Paot.


  181. Foie gras, I think. Too lazy to look it up.

    She posts disgusting recipes (e.g., rainbow grilled cheese sammich) on FB but AFAIK doesn’t actually cook.

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