Coming to Get You

Awwww, yeah.

So excited to see Hostage and IB buddies. SOON.

The rest of this shitty post will consist of pleasant pictures. Because it’s gentle on the brain, and that is what we all need on Tuesday.














That last pic came up randomly in the search for ‘plasant picture.’ I swear.


  1. And yes, I misspelled ‘pleasant’ in the image search.

  2. My daughter has decided that wherever she goes – walking around the house … in the car, I need to listen to her crappy music playing on her phone.

    ANd the music is waaaaaaay worse than cats fucking in the closet.

    I’m really about to choke a bitch over it. It’s driving me crazy.

  3. the calming pictures aren’t helping.

  4. /stares at pictures really fucking hard

    Nope. Not helping. I still want to break her phone

  5. laura i sent a tip line update

  6. Headphones.

    *takes rest of the day off

  7. Do you mind if I add a few from my recent vacation in the mountains of Asheville?

  8. She just wants you to buy her some new bluetooth headphones, Carin.

  9. I replied, Jam. Still haven’t sent the email to the attendees yet. we may be adding people.

  10. By all means, MJ.

  11. carin –
    motivational pic for ya

  12. thanks laura!

  13. LOL.

    Here’s a long boring story, and I swear I found $20 somewhere in it.

    A year ago, our crossfit gym combined with a local chick doing bootcamps. It drove me nuts because they slowly took over our gym, using all our equipment, barely giving us any space to do “real” workouts (heh). They finally moved out- new huge space across town and fine. But the owner – she just hired as a trainer a woman I’ve known for a long time who attends her classes. And she looks like Jam’s picture.

    This gal is very driven on the marketing side of her business – but it’s just – these folks are signing up and paying for bootcamps, but they’re being trained by folks who … aren’t in shape. Aren’t trained. You get what you pay for. Crossfit is another $25 or so a month, but the coaches actually know what the heck they’re doing.


    Also, when she moved out she took some of our weights.

  14. Where do I sign up for fatty bootcamp?

  15. That last pic looks like MJ trying to pull Laura’s pants off.

  16. I believe your Mom is in charge of registration, MJ.

  17. Today’s fatty bootcamp is going to be at the food shack by the boat launch.

    It’s basically a tough muddler with fried clams, and no running.

  18. and our burpees are a little different.

  19. This poat needs more cute lil’ bunnies nibbling on tender garden plants.

  20. No burpees in tough mudder. The Spartan race (which i’m doing with matt in the fall) has a 30 burpee penalty for every failed obstacle. That’s why I need a weight vest. To start training.

  21. Was is that last pic, anyway?
    Is that from the porn version of Gulliver’s travels?

  22. I building a weight vest with fried clams.

  23. Clam Vest Solutions™.

  24. I bet that won’t reek in a couple of days at all.

  25. Skype interview today. I should probably put on pants.

  26. As a kid I remember building a boat out of clam shells and seaweed. We used clam bellies as a sort of glue to hold it together. It was really fun to sail around the harbor but terrifying on the open ocean. Rather than a half naked woman as the masthead we used an octopus.

  27. Skype interview today. I should probably put on pants.

    Point the camera higher.

  28. Jimbro has been writing himself prescriptions for meth again.

  29. Bath salts.

  30. I wonder if I could make a weighted vest that would be cheaper than buying one.


  31. string and a couple concrete blocks should be pretty cheap.


    The real thing might be a lot more comfy. You’d also be better off with lead or steel shot in pouches. Sand works but isn’t as dense.

  33. I thought about a cheap fishing vest, but it would likely be front-heavy.

  34. could combine it with a backpack, but it can be tricky to vertically distribute the weight.

  35. The real thing IS comfortable. And made to be adjustable (enveloce of weighted bags).
    Maybe try the fishing vest or a military style vest, then wear a camelback filled with lead or steel shot?

  36. *envelopes

  37. WHat’s wrong with Scott’s idea?

  38. Rotting mollusks.

  39. I wanted to make a weight vest with bearded clams, but your mom kept trying to wrap her legs around my head.

  40. I got rid of 16 -18 pounds of my weight vest.

  41. Poor Mr. Mare.

    When a friend’s husband deployed to Iraq, she spent a year working out and losing weight. His first response when he saw her? “They’re gone!”

  42. Nope. Incorrect, Alex.

  43. Smaller waist makes the proportions better.

  44. Well then lucky Mr. Mare!

  45. When a friend’s husband deployed to Iraq, she spent a year working out and losing weight. His first response when he saw her? “They’re gone!”

    That guy is an ingrate.

  46. Did you just assume Mare’s gender?

  47. Yeah, he is. They were divorced for several years, but she recently moved across the country to be with him. I just shake my head.

  48. Comment by MJ on June 13, 2017 2:20 pm

    Did you just assume Mare’s gender?

    Of course not. Our discussion could easily be applied to man-tits.

  49. Great recipe:

  50. Today is “see what’s on clearance at the greenhouse” day. I’ve got a row of lemon cucumber seeds that just don’t seem to have gotten going, so I’m going to try and fill that gap with whatever I can rescue.

  51. Garden fails that I can’t do anything about until after vacay: Beans came up, then something (I think a bird) thrashed them for some reason. Hardly any survived. Cukes have not come up. Cucuzza have not come up. Standard butternuts have not come up.
    Hope I can still buy cuke seedlings when I get back. We really enjoyed all those pickles last year.

    Things I hope will survive my absence: Mini-butternuts are up. Jarrahdales are up. Galeux des eysines are up. Cube of Butter summer squash are up.

    Strawberries and lettuces will be picked out completely by family while we’re gone.

  52. Can’t they just cut the lettuce so you can have some too? I have spring mix and you just kinda keep cutting it for a long time.

  53. I forgot how many genders are there?

  54. These are big mature romaines. I have been harvesting the outer leaves this Spring but it’s about time for them to begin bolting. Two already have.

  55. German and English have 3, Spanish has 2. Gender is a linguistic concept.

    There are 2 sexes in humans. Asexual organisms carry male and female germ cells or engage in budding/cloning/mitosis.

    John Money deserves the deepest pit of hellfire for eternity.

  56. OK, went out there and some of the other items on the list have started to show. Cukes, cucuzza, and butternuts, they’re peeking. I killed a cucuzza seedling while looking for them. Boo.

    Beans are definitely kilt, though. I put down some more seeds, and hope they make it. I should go back out there and give the garden a good soak tonight if it doesn’t rain as expected.

  57. What are you going to do with all that squash? That’s a ton of it!

  58. Hotspur – and any other hosefocker with knowledge.

    Just SANDED our deck. Last night. It’s cedar. Do we need to clean and brighten it, or can we just stain.

    If you look online you get every variation of answer. Some say you need to brighten to “open” the wood pores. Which sanding does.

    TIA kind people.

  59. This is my favorite scene from Fargo Season 2. MN State Trooper runs into some out of town mafiosos, they are all looking for a guy named “Skip”.

    As I said, it is funnier if you live here.

  60. Don’t you have to wet the wood, let it expand a bit, and sand lightly again? That makes it smooth.

  61. Well, I wanted to try out some new varieties but I still want my favorites just in case the new stuff doesn’t pan out. And not only do I give stuff away, but some of it is for other people, like, the cucuzza is for mom. I won’t touch it. She’ll eat the small gourds but mostly she eats the edible leaves, cooked. So they will have a hard time making fruit anyway.

  62. Do we need to clean and brighten it, or can we just stain.

    Is it plugged in?

    Try plugging it in.

  63. I think you’re supposed to sand it, wet it, sand it again, wipe it down with linseed oil, stroke it with tack cloth, then stain it, sand it again, then stain it again.
    THEN you can stain it.

  64. This is fucking bullshit.


    He/she can have brain surgery by a surgeon with little or no skill because it obviously won’t matter.

  66. Oh, wait, Car in’s DECK!

  67. Well roamy, I guess they have a point. It is unfair, not having any abilities.

  68. “wipe it down with linseed oil, stroke it with tack cloth, then stain it, sand it again, then stain it again.”

    We wont see CoAlex or Xbrad for days…..

  69. My cousin’s 31 yo son, who I last saw as a kid at my brother’s funeral, is a Type I diabetic, poorly controlled, reusing needles, etc. He became septic recently and got infected heart valves and had a stroke. This was about 2 months ago and he’s been treated pretty aggressively with antibiotics. He finally had heart valve surgery today. One repaired and one replaced.

    I hope this is a wake up call and he gets his shit together.

  70. ““wipe it down with linseed oil, stroke it with tack cloth, then stain it, sand it again, then stain it again.””

    you should boil your linseed too – ya may wanna wait a couple of minutes before you start stroking tho

  71. “My cousin’s 31 yo son”

  72. This our goal for tomorrow.

  73. re: raise the grain of a deck to make it smoother: if carin goes that route make sure you do it on a 90+ degree day while wearing your weight vest….
    you should also consider borrowing wisers vinyl gimp suit – it’ll help maintain moisture


  74. mois

  75. ture

  76. mo

  77. ist

  78. ure

  79. alright…. gotta go move a skid steer

  80. and wreck the side lawn

  81. remember to hydrate to moisten things up

  82. moi

  83. sten

  84. I just showed that gif to Paula who said “Pitcher’s ball” with a look of disgust on her face.

  85. I hate you all

  86. Moist

  87. I hate you too!

  88. Just put the AC in our bedroom. Could have used it starting 2 or 3 nights ago.

  89. How did your interview go, Mj?

  90. Scrap the deck and re do it with Trex.

  91. Pupster’s gif is why it is hard out here for a Reds fan🎶🎶🎶

  92. Scott, are you guys going to Garden of the Gods, too?

  93. I’ve been rubbing my deck for the last two hours.

    I think I’m doing something wrong.

  94. Yep. We are planning on spending a couple days at 5000′ – 6000′ before going up.

  95. I am pretty terrified of altitude sickness.

  96. Of it ruining my vacay, I mean.

  97. I’ve been rubbing my deck for the last two hours.

    I think I’m doing something wrong.

    Do you hear a bass solo?

  98. One of my memories of CO was it was so freakin’ dry. Lip balm, water bottles and lotion in a basket are all useful items.

  99. You aren’t supposed to rub your deck alone.

    Also, wait 20 minutes after eating.

  100. Lauraw, you should be. What Jimbro said, too. Be prepared to get buzzed with fewer drinks. Something something oxygen blah blah math.

  101. Sunscreen. Lots of sunscreen. Sun hats or shirts.

  102. We toured the US Olympic facility in Colorado Springs.

  103. Cheyenne Mountain Zoo was nice. Above the clouds. Thought my lungs would burst. They had a Butterfly and Hummingbird Garden. First one I’d ever seen. Why would anyone want to attract those assholes?

  104. Check out their new “Hoppers of the World” exhibit.

  105. Car in, I used to do that before NoFap. I can point you to some resources online that might help.

  106. Lots of water and beer. And booze. Then lots more water.

    If you feel headachy it’s too late. More water.

    And beer. Don’t forget the beer. Then water.

  107. If you’re feeling sick, remember that you can now shit on the streets in Denver without fear.

  108. You are such a comfort to me, Alex. Thanks.

  109. CoAlEx, I was freaked enough by their Hissing Cockroaches and amorous giraffes.

  110. I plan on running over hippies in Denver.

  111. Portland needs you, Scott.

  112. Domestic violence has been marginalized, too. Mebbe only for illegals. When you can, park remote and ride the light rail in Denver. Brewery tours and Celestial Seasonings tour. Golden has fun shopping. Evergreen used to be nice before the casinos.

  113. I’ll have a rental car.

    We are running over stuff.

  114. Can’t they just smoke some pot? I’m sure that would help.

  115. We were walking in LoDo after a Rockies game…contact high on every corner. Lots of Ethiopian restaurants in Denver. (Insert totally racist comment here)

  116. I plan on running over hippies in Denver.

    That sounds like more fun than eating watermelon in a rental car.

  117. Scott,
    How are how kids getting to Denver?
    Gonna fly & rent?

  118. Scott isn’t the hero that we want, but he may be the hero whom we need.

  119. He ain’t the best……but he’s the best we’ve got.

  120. You hear laughter
    Cracking through the walls
    It sends you spinning
    You have no choice
    Following the footsteps
    Of a derp doll dance
    We are entranced

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