Maximum Minimum Thursday

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Oh hi! I’m just a maximally creepy dolphin making sure your doors and windows are secure

Young Mare,  maximum soft serve

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Say what you mean, mean what you say

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What…no coffee with breakfast?

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Going to the bar, the Ghetto Bar

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We haven’t heard much from our Muppet friends recently

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Happy Thursday!

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Matthew 7:13-14

13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

143 Comments

  1. Oy!!

  2. RIP Chris Cornell

    https://is.gd/EMwxND

  3. I LOVE that meme, Jimbro and it’s very accurate.

  4. Good Lord! I read a clickbait article on NY Post about called “There’s a shot that can guarantee you orgasms”.

    From there I read about something called a Dracula Facial where they use platelet rich plasma (PRP) in the face as a facial treatment. Some doc figured if it made his GF’s face and boobs look better maybe he could do some vag-rehab with it and, lo and behold, the O-Shot was born.

    Slightly NSFW link to the official site hyping the shot

    http://oshot.info/

  5. PRP is made by centrifuging peripheral blood into its components and has been used for many many things without the most demanding evidence beyond anecdotal. Some studies say it does wonderful stuff and others are skeptical. Another tool in the toolbox I guess.

  6. My son texted me in the wee hours of the morning about Cornell. It’s a Badmotorfinger kind of day now.

    wakey wakey

  7. I’m not picking on you Mare as much as honoring Rosie’s memory because that was his go to gag for you and it’s stuck in my head.

  8. It’s ok to pick on Mare.

  9. “lo and behold, the O-Shot was born.”
    they should have the sham wow guy do the info mercial

  10. Sweet!

  11. workie workie

  12. Ugh.

    “Detroit police spokesman Michael Woody told AP Thursday morning that he couldn’t release details about why police are investigating the death as a possible suicide, but noted there were “basic things observed at the scene.”

    Cornell died at the MGM Grand Detroit hotel, Woody said. He said Cornell’s wife had called a family friend and asked him to check on Cornell; the friend forced open a hotel room door and found Cornell on the bathroom floor.”

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_OBIT_CHRIS_CORNELL?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2017-05-18-08-06-52

  13. He had nearly a four octave vocal range. That’s pretty amazing.

  14. I see Myley Cyrus is making surprise appearances on all the NBC shows this week.

    Saw that on Fallon Tuesday. Was at mom’s for a funeral, and we watched that, because we had just discussed how Fallon was being more fair to Trump out of all the late night shows.

    Then he went on to multiple Trump leak jokes.

    sigh

  15. I have nearly a 4 octave range, depending on how hard I hit whatever appendage with whatever tool.

  16. Wow, Roger Ailes died last night.

    I wonder how tolerant the lefties will be today.

  17. “He faked his own death to escape the sexual harassment lawsuits.”

    -‘smart’ leftist, adjusting ugly glasses

  18. Question no one is asking: if Comey was convinced that Trump had done a criminal act – either pressuring him to drop the case, or offer a quid pro quo, why did he stay silent?
    He could have formally informed the AG, the Senate or even gone public.

    By doing none of these, AND continuing the investigation, it seems the perceived pressure did not work.

  19. Jimbro, the first thing I thought of when I saw it was Rosetta! It made we happy.

  20. If Comey had that information and didn’t come forward with it, isn’t he guilty of hiding evidence?

  21. Charge him with obstruction of justice based on his public statements. Everything he said about Hillary adds up to it anyhow.

  22. PRP is a scam.

    -NotScott

  23. Bye Bye, Miss American Pie

  24. getting rid of your truck?
    wth

  25. Yeah, it was kind of bittersweet.

  26. is this true? Cost of living in San Fransicko

    Seems a bit off.

  27. Two clowns were eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says “I think we got this joke wrong.”

  28. Jay, I don’t know if 105k is officially considered low income in SanFran.

    I do know that you would be living paycheck to paycheck on that kind of income there.

    Everyone ‘s pay is inflated in Silicon Valley, but the standard of living is not in line with that pay.

    A million dollars will get you a run down 800-900 SqFt property at best.

  29. Cupertino has ONE apartment listed that is under a million. But by the time the bids finish, the winner would have bid past a million

  30. Huh, 10 times the cost for less space than my house.

  31. I think it’s AtC over at the HQ who likes to say, “I’ll believe all the hype about teleworking when the people pushing it don’t all live in the same zip code.”

    Seriously, you could move your employees to Omaha, cut pay by 40%, use the savings to pay for a quarterly four day weekend anywhere in the country for each of them and their spouse, and still save money.

  32. I telecommute. The hype is real. It’s as close to “get paid in dollars and spend in pesos” as I could get.

  33. My goal is within the next ten years to be where Leon is, working from home on a farm somewhere.

  34. It’s fun when you get to work from home. Sometimes they don’t even realize you aren’t in the office.

    Some people just aren’t capable of working from home, though.

  35. My job in particular lends itself well to telework, and without networking my way into it, I wouldn’t be here.

  36. People don’t want to live in Omaha, they want to live in LA.

  37. People are fucking crazy.

  38. People don’t want to live in Omaha, they want to live in LA.

    I know. LA and DC, because they’d rather live in a shithole apartment near culture that they’ll never visit as a means of virtue signaling.

  39. guy in my hometown (< 1000 people) bought a vacant retirement home for $1, moved a bunch of jobs from Cali for a transportation company.

    People actually like the area after they get here. Took a lot of coaxing to make it happen though.

  40. i got my peppers last night, who wants to order some Carolina Reapers, Peach or Regular Ghost, or Chocolate Habaneros?

  41. I’d grow them next year if you save seeds.

  42. *makes note

    Remind me in the winter, I’m sure I’ll forget.

  43. I work from home (actually a shop 50 yards away). Much better than a real job, but then I usually end up working 7 days a week. 13 hours yesterday. :)

  44. 50 yards? COMMUTER OF THE YEAR!

  45. I did 14 hours Tuesday, though 2 of them technically happened Wednesday morning.

  46. gardening with newfs is impossible.

    They dig, when you dig a hole. Then dig more holes. The think that you pick up the spade to play tug of war. And just try watering ANYTHING. They put their big mug right as the hose and spray water right back on you.

    FOR SALE: Two newfies. One with “improvements”. Kinda smelly. Like to sleep on bed with you.

  47. No sale.

  48. What if I throw in two cats? FOR FREE.

  49. How much will you pay me?

  50. But of course…

    I’d like to point out that I’ve been calling this exact scenario for years. People kept saying that Muslim immigrants would push polygamy and my response was, “no, it will be some upper middle class white couple and their mutual girlfriend.”

  51. I assumed it would be Mormons, but yeah, this is the more photogenic version.

    Jesus, I’m ready when you are. Please come soon.

  52. I’ve got 2 panting dogs near my feet. It’s 95 degrees which is a new record. Previous one was 89 degrees. This has been an abrupt change too.

  53. No Mormons. Religious nutjobs are icky and all that. The goal is to make it seem normal enough to the vast majority of middle-class Americans, perhaps even desirable. There’s no religion here, just the fantasy for guys of getting twice the pussy, while white girls can have the marriage and kids and still claim some sort of feminist credential for having a “wife”.

  54. I’m sure 20% of men marrying 80% of women will work out just fine.

  55. As I left for work I noticed a bird stuck in my garage. I tried to shoo it out and saw it was a Blue Jay. I left a window cracked for it to get out. Got home a little while ago, heard rustling by the back of the garage and opened both doors to free it. When I went back to try and get it moving the bird was a chickadee.

    MY GARAGE SHRINKS BIRDS!!!

  56. Maybe the chickadee ate the blue jay.

  57. What, now we have to go out and get ANOTHER wife? first one was hard enough!

  58. I’m sure 20% of men marrying 80% of women will work out just fine.

    It’s the recipe for a stable society with full equality between men and women.

  59. I’m calling bullshit on that article.

  60. On the other hand, sexbots and artificial wombs are almost ready.

  61. ” “no, it will be some upper middle class white couple and their mutual girlfriend.””

    it’s a pay to play scheme

  62. >>>>Adam Lyons was dubbed “the luckiest man alive” because he shares his life with two girlfriends, Brooke Shedd and Jane Shalakhova.

    Yeah. “Lucky.”

    That’s the exact word I was thinking of when I saw the name “Shalakhova.”

    Get back to him in about 10 years and ask him how “lucky” he’s feeling….

  63. >>>first one was hard enough!

    Ummmmmm……

  64. I just recharged a car AC system.

    So freaking easy. I can’t believe I paid people to do that.

  65. He’ll still be feeling lucky.

    Lucky to have that cardboard box over his head.
    Lucky to be able to afford a can of tuna fish each night for dinner.
    Lucky to see his kids once a month for a few hours, even if they don’t call him “dad”…

  66. >>>>Adam Lyons was dubbed “the luckiest man alive” because he shares his life with two girlfriends, Brooke Shedd and Jane Shalakhova.

    If Jane takes Brooke’s name, he would be known as Adam “Two-Shedds” Lyons.

  67. >>>I just recharged a car AC system.

    We need to talk….

  68. Wait until their cycles sync up.

  69. The Saga of the Truck Tag has finally come to a victorious conclusion. I may once again drive without fear of getting pulled over for an expired tag!

  70. >>>> I may once again drive without fear of getting pulled over for an expired tag!

    And the crowd goes wild…..

  71. I’ve been so busy I missed the outrage of the day.

  72. Clint, seen the King Arthur movie? I loved it!

    Wiser, good to see your face around here, really miss you.

  73. I’ve become immune to the various outrages of the day. All I hear is “Blah blah blah Trump”

  74. I think the outrage of the day is people saying nice things about Ailes.

  75. >>>>Wiser, good to see your face around here, really miss you.

    Hi, mare. Miss al y’all too. This new gig takes up a lot of my time, what with the reading and research. But I’m really loving it.

    Just wish I had more time to hang out with you reprobates.

    Meanwhile, MJ’s gonna be on tomorrow at around 12:40

  76. Hissy fit seems to be over.

  77. Maybe they realized they were pissing off the same people they will be trying to appeal to in 2018.

  78. Times Square driver blew a 0.0. Former Military. Hearing voices. Social media scrubbed. I guess we have to wait and see why he drove the wrong way on a sidewalk. Totes not terrorism yo.

  79. Learned something interesting today. Brazil imported four times the number of Africans that America did. Why the fuckin Portuguese ain’t rayciss?

  80. >>>>Why the fuckin Portuguese ain’t rayciss?

    I think one of them is….

  81. Most of the African slaves in Brasil died. America was a good place for African slaves that survived the ships. 1600 American genealogy gets hinky with slaves marrying whites and frontier indians. Family lore had mixed Indian/African family in OH marrying into 1800 settler families. White indentured family married African indentured before moving to Wilderness. Many fabrics weaved this nation.

  82. “Many fabrics weaved this nation”? WTF yo? I’m either drunk or ghey. Put your money on drunk.

  83. Iron Fist is better than Daredevil Season 1. Discuss

  84. Comment by osoloco11 on May 18, 2017 7:49 pm
    Iron Fist is better than Daredevil Season 1. Discuss

    No fuckin idea what your on about.

  85. Netflix Marvel. Serial. Best TV EVER

  86. CoAlEx knows

  87. Better than Brockmire?

  88. Windsprints in zumba today.

  89. Iron Fist is better than Daredevil Season 1. Discuss

    Tell Dan he needs to cut you off. You’re spouting authentic frontier gibberish.

    Season 1 Jessica Jones was better than both.

  90. Ooh…below the belt. Brockmire’d. (I was all Wiserbud OMG SQUEEE during the Joe Buck Brockmire episode) yo WB …hank azaria. Go watch Brockmire

  91. Season 1 Your Mom made everything else moot.

  92. JJ was better than all of the Netflix Marvels except Punisher DD2

  93. DD2 with the Punisher validated Season 1

  94. Oso, have you watched Sense8?

  95. I finally got to the gym this week. Squats, overhead presses, deadlifts, bench, and pull ups, plus twenty minutes on the treadmill. I’ve been walking 3-5 miles every day this week.

  96. Netflix?

  97. Yup.

  98. On the list. Thx

  99. Fair warning, there’s a bit of SJW leftwing crap, and it gets worse in the second season. I still like the show, but it does detract from the interesting parts.

  100. I moved stuff all day.

    1/6 of our house is now empty.

  101. How many dead hookers was that?

  102. I consider today our anniversary more than tomorrow. Spent the day in multiple Dan challenges.

  103. multiple Dan challenges.

    Euphemism?

  104. Kept running into him while partying with friends. He kept challenging family members on my behalf. Dan stood up where many others wimped out. My now DA cousin Raul was part of the stand up process

  105. I finally got to the gym this week. Squats, overhead presses, deadlifts, bench, and pull ups, plus twenty minutes on the treadmill. I’ve been walking 3-5 miles every day this week.

    Crossfit just about kilt me today. The Sprints were the best part. It went downhill from there.

    Plus my friend cleaned 165 yesterday and I’m so jealous I’m ashamed of myself.

    I am NO WHERE near that. She’s got 25 pounds on me, but still.

  106. Only 650 miles driving the last two days, but it kicked my ass.

  107. Going through LA two days in a row is hell.

  108. I clean 165 doing pushups. More even

  109. Her clean has 50 pounds on mine. Ugh.

  110. You’ll get there, champ!

  111. Yea, probably not.

  112. do you work on strength, or primarily cardio/endurance?

  113. I do a pretty good mix, but endurance is obviously my strong suit. I’ve been doing crossfit 5 times a week for a few months now. I was but back pretty badly by my shoulder issue – so I basically made no gains for two years. I’m good now, and finally seeing forward progress. I’ve also really been stressing technique over weight. I had bad form before, and basically my numbers weren’t going to ever go up unless I went back and corrected some errors.


  114. Her clean has 50 pounds on mine. Ugh.

    Housework competition. Whoda thunkit?

  115. Crossfit just about kilt me today. The Sprints were the best part. It went downhill from there.
    Plus my friend cleaned 165 yesterday and I’m so jealous I’m ashamed of myself.
    I am NO WHERE near that. She’s got 25 pounds on me, but still.

    I don’t clean enough to go above 135. I really should buy a barbell and some plates and just do overhead presses, cleans, and deadlifts at home.

    My max squat was 315, but then I was sick, and busy, and now I’m down to 225 and I don’t get to the gym enough to try and improve it. Maybe next week once the new term starts, and I have to be on campus Tuesday and Thursday anyways.

  116. Comment by Car in on May 18, 2017 9:28 pm
    Her clean has 50 pounds on mine. Ugh.

    How many pounds does her snatch have on yours?

  117. I’m threatening to buy a tractor tire for the backyard.

    Make of that what you will.

  118. Evening Hostages.

    So who fucked up what today?

  119. I still haven’t got a big tire. OTOH, I have enough yard work that I don’t really need one.

    I’ll be up at 5 tomorrow planting everything. I expect to be exhausted by 830am.

  120. Got two grades back so far. Just waiting on the last one. I was in the office today to speak with the professor and he said, “Yeah, I still have to grade the online discussions.”

    “You don’t look at those as we submit them?”

    “No. Heck, this year I was good and managed to grade the homework before the final.”

    *SMDH*

  121. If I find a job that allows me to stay in my current place another year or two, I’m going to ask my landlord for some space out in the garage to set up a forge.

  122. Sounds like you’re on the right track, Car in. You’d still kick my ass.

  123. How many pounds does her snatch have on yours?

    That’s a rather personal question.

    But only about 10-15 pounds.

  124. If I find a job that allows me to stay in my current place another year or two, I’m going to ask my landlord for some space out in the garage to set up a forge.

    Odds of landlord agreeing to that?

  125. Probably like putting in a propane furnace.

  126. Car in is a slacker.

    it’s OK.

  127. Actually, the odds are pretty good. I live on a farm and the landlord has a work area for all his cars and a bunch of storage space. I could easily set up a canopy in the gravel area off to the side which would be more than enough space for an anvil and a small propane forge.

  128. Plus, the landlord really likes me since his last two tenants were idiots who eventually stopped paying rent. I’m quiet, keep the place up, and paid a year’s rent in advance.

  129. Well then that’s fucking great, man. Good luck.

  130. I’m threatening to buy a tractor tire for the backyard.

    Make of that what you will.

    They make lovely landscape planters, when painted white.

  131. Dancing tonight. Gonna leave in a few minutes to drive into LA.

  132. When we moved in to this place in ’87, we started cleaning-up the east pasture and ‘Found’ a tractor tire, lots of old rotted cedar gutters, pieces of garden hose, chicken-wire, old fence-posts , TV antennas, and other shit buried in the long grass.
    It cost to get rid of the tire…

  133. Hey Carin, has your son’s leg fallen off yet? Maybe I missed an update.

  134. In Miami. Going to the spa tomorrow – I’ve never been to one before, so this should be interesting.

    Rehearsal dinner tomorrow night. Will be giving the kids the needlework I made for them. Hope they like it.

    Saturday is the big day.

    On Sunday, we get to play!

  135. Someone asked last night to see the finished piece. Here it is:

  136. Conference this week. Last night was a nice banquet, and I brought Mr. RFH for date night/birthday dinner. (Tickets were $55 each, so I was happy to see steak on the menu, sad to see ripoff prices at the cash bar. Tipped the bartender.) Co-worker brought his wife. First time I’d met her. I shit you not, I think she was wearing a pillowcase to cover her arms and shoulders.

    XBrad, glad you got your truck fixed.

    TiFW, congrats on the wedding, hope it goes well.

  137. Out dancing. The room is packed and it’s a sauna. There are more Asian teens than on xbrad’s hard drive.

  138. There’s also some cute brown girl, but I can’t tell if she’s messican or dot.

  139. Hey Alex, my project finished ahead of schedule so I came home early, I can’t go dancing tonight.

    Sorry.

  140. Now I’m in control
    Now I’m in the derp out
    Once asleep but now I stand
    And I still remember your sweet everything
    Light a roman candle
    And hold it in your hand

  141. Pupster, no worries.


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