четверг

Like a drunk American college student in Thailand, I accepted the internet’s word that the above title means Thursday in Russian and that hooker really was a chick. I just hope I don’t find out years later четверг means “Bite The Wax Tadpole” or something worse. Ever since the wee hours of the morning of November 9th, the 1980’s have been calling America nonstop and they want their foreign policy back. I figure it’s high time we learn some Russki culture.

Not sure why a German Shepherd Dog would be a Russian guide dog…immigrant maybe?

g1ridmh

Matryoshka

cdf3cb07a59b1787a849f625e6fbe27e

Borscht

l9vnpp4

Of course we can’t forget the vodka

stil_vodka_russian_bride

You can play Russian Roulette at the buffet

6360099131401251281518679748_bizarro-01-06-13-web

Russians haven’t been this relevant since the days of the old USSR. Putin has to be delighted with the resurrection of the brand name. I believe in America and know we will prevail through all of this bullcrap, bullheads and bullwhips. Happy Thursday people.

 

 

202 Comments

  1. Yo.

  2. Morning!

    *siezes the day*

    *day makes a slight gurgling noise*

  3. Wakey

  4. Dogs always seize the day right by the throat and shake it and shake it and shake it.

  5. That was my intestines gurgling

  6. Couple of Robins in my garden, fighting over a piece of string hanging from the fence. One of them is trying to pull it down and the other one is attacking. The one tugging at the string is cracking me up.

  7. Robins are very serious birds. Until bathtime. That’s the only time you can see them enjoying life. Other than that, it’s no screwing around.

  8. Fightin’ Robins kilt it.

  9. The robins that nest on the back porch didn’t come back this year — 4 years straight they nested there. I found it interesting that with all the activity on the porch they still nested there.

  10. Talking rhubarb vs elk is hilarious.

    9/10, would laugh as a running H2 gag.

  11. Happy Birthday, Scott! YAYYY!

  12. Thanks for the reminder Laura. It’s my brother’s BD today and I need to give him a birthday text.

    Happy Birthday Scott. May your whole day be free of scams.

  13. I want a rematch.

  14. Happy birthday, Scott!

  15. Happy Birthday Scott.

    I got you this free internet picture:

    https://is.gd/2uLUaO

  16. Scott!! Have a great Birthday!!!

  17. I heard someone referred to as, ‘fat, loud talking, whore shoes,’ yesterday.

    I laughed and laughed.

  18. I was like, ‘hostage?’

  19. Related movie music: Back to the 80s. As decades go, we could do worse. I sure as fuck don’t remember race or trannies being an issue back then, but maybe that’s just because the internet hadn’t destroyed so many minds.

  20. Leon?

    http://tinyurl.com/lafbp85

  21. Happy Birthday, Scott!

  22. I’m hoping I do a moderately better job of it than that when the time comes, Pepe.

  23. HB Scott.

  24. Future Leon: “Possum, talk to your mother please”

  25. HBD Scott!

  26. I missed the part where Scott describes his lobster roll in detail.

  27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj4K9fr_WgY&t=4m25s

    I also got scott this link

  28. I’ve only been in on a few conference calls at board meetings for a medical society I’m in. They’re not this bad but I’m sure you business type people that do them far more often deal with stuff like this all the time.

    https://is.gd/i0pMk6

  29. That conference call looked amazing compared to mine. Everyone spoke English and none appeared to have malignant intent.

  30. That’s actually pretty close to reality Jimbro.

    I usually give my name as Burt Reynolds then pretend it wasn’t me.

    BEEP–Burt Reynolds.

    Corporate douche 1: Who joined?

    Me: I couldn’t make it out.

    Corporate douche 2: I think it was John.

    Me: Who joined?

    *goes back to surfing intertitty

  31. The worst part of conference calls is that I can’t listen to music or podcasts.

  32. That’s a good point, Leon.

    The guys from WIPRO are hilarious. Up until recently I could only understand half of them. Now only the decent English speakers are left so its not so bad.

    Muddu is my favorite. He’s like a little brown teddy bear.

  33. WILL NO ONE FIX MY INTERNET.

    /shakes fist st sky

  34. I have two chinese ladies on most of mine. Both have lived here for over 20 years, but still haven’t mastered English grammar. It’s exhausting. Why does mandarin have no gender, tense, plural, possessives, or “L” sounds? How do those people communicate anything complex or precise in their native tongue, or don’t they?

    Further, one of them will argue with me for ten to ninety minutes, then suggest what I originally suggested at the start of the argument as though it had never occurred to her.

  35. Happy Birthday, Scott. I’ve got a 200 lb armoire that I need moved upstairs when you get a chance.

    I have no fucking idea how to spell armoire and I’m not looking it up.

  36. “Further, one of them will argue with me for ten to ninety minutes, then suggest what I originally suggested at the start of the argument as though it had never occurred to her.”

    i deal with a chi-com that does the same thing. i think they argue just to piss on ppls shoes as some form of territory marking. it’s tedious

  37. I have two chinese ladies on most of mine. Both have lived here for over 20 years, but still haven’t mastered English grammar. It’s exhausting. Why does mandarin have no gender, tense, plural, possessives, or “L” sounds? How do those people communicate anything complex or precise in their native tongue, or don’t they?
    ———————–
    Is one of them named Loan.

  38. Cuz Loan, my old boss could barely speak English.

    I asked her how long she’d been in the states and she said 20 years.

    *blink, blink

    What? How is possible to live somewhere for 20 years and not pick up the language better?

  39. hmm
    http://tinyurl.com/kcvg9kj

  40. She’s been needed on the project for about 4 hours total since October despite charging to it full or part time since then. I’m pretty sure she’s doing it to justify her continued presence. There are a number of zombies on the project who do even less, but they have the good sense to stay quiet and not make me try to find ways to get rid of them or exclude them from meetings.

  41. No, no Loan.

  42. That’s too bad. Cuz even though I had no idea what she was talking about and she was a total bitch, she was hot as hell.

  43. The hot chick on my project is Korean, not Chinese, and her English is native in quality. Unfortunately, she doesn’t appear to know jack squat about the actual technology we use, despite her academic credentials.

  44. Every once in a great while I’ll have a kid with Chinese parents. Considering where I practice it’s uncommon. I do recall very clearly the argumentative nature of our interactions. Very frustrating. I don’t mind when people question me, happens quite often. I just like them to listen to my rationale before asking the next question that may or may not be related to the first one.

  45. I have no fucking idea how to spell armoire and I’m not looking it up.

    ——–

    We are simpatico.

  46. ‘fat, loud talking, whore shoes,’ yesterday.

    ——–

    Anywhere in Florida on a Friday night?

  47. Happy Birthday Scott

  48. Jam, I thought Stevens-Johnson Syndrome was an idiosyncratic reaction to a medication, not dose dependent. There are other less common causes too. I’ve only seen it once as a lowly 3rd year student on my medicine clerkship and it was a sad case. Quadriplegic woman from a spinal cord injury had a UTI and ended up with it from a drug reaction to the antibiotic. Her daughter was a nurse or tech at the hospital as I recall.

  49. Leon, do you know anything about Shirataki Pasta made from the Konnyaku imo plant?

    They have zero calories and almost zero carbs. They taste chewy but do absorb the flavor of the sauce added to them. Before being prepared they smell like fish. Out of curiosity I tried them and I think they absorb and retain water because I gained over 21/2 pounds overnight.

    Generally, I’d rather fast. Too much hassle in prep and the smell, ufffffff. But they do give you the illusion of eating pasta. They were only $2.30 a packet so my experiment while not a success was not costly.

  50. Leon, do you know anything about Shirataki Pasta made from the Konnyaku imo plant?

    ——–

    hhhahahhaahhh

    Idiot. (Me, not leon)

  51. I wish Rosetta were here to say, “best comment ever!”

  52. Mare has stroked out.

    RIP mare.

    She was our friend, and kinda funny, but mostly just our friend.

  53. I didn’t like pasta when I could eat it, so I know nussing.

  54. I fell asleep face first in a plate of spaghetti once as a toddler. Scarred me for life.

    The low-carb lasagne recipe I linked here is as close as I get, and even that is just too fussy to make all that often.

  55. You know what kinda bothers me lately?

    Don’t care, gonna tell you anyway.

    The condescension coming from media types. It’s the eye rolling, talking down to, feigning exasperation when Trump surrogates appear on shows.

    Are they spinning hard? You bet. That’s to be expected. Or at least it used to be.

    But I don’t remember seeing any of that when Obama was the President. Susan Rice could go on TV, lie her ass off, and everyone, and I mean everyone, would give her a pass or at best, gently question her statements. Mostly because she was an Obama political appointee, but also because she was a woman, black, and of a similar socio-economic class.

    That all seems to have changed and the media isn’t concealing it anymore. They can’t seem to listen or include people that aren’t exactly like them in thought, education, and perceived social standing.

    The divide in America is not about wealth, or race, or where you pee (ok, maybe a little); its about the upper middle class and their panty sniffers holding on for dear life and they lose relevancy. They’re fighting to the death but most of them will end up on the platform of the guillotine still yammering on about how Islam is the religion of peace and global warming is the real danger–not a nuclear armed Iran.

    It’s exhausting and confusing.

  56. Further, one of them will argue with me for ten to ninety minutes, then suggest what I originally suggested at the start of the argument as though it had never occurred to her.

    This is every meeting for me.

  57. MJ, everything is a lie anymore, right down to our currency. The truth being told about anything in public threatens the entire fabric of lies that comprise the comfy office chairs upon which they sit.

  58. I know I refer back to this a lot but historically this:

    https://infogalactic.com/info/Rectification_of_names

    often coincided with sudden climate shifts and crop failures.

    Unrelated, entirely:

    https://astronomynow.com/2015/07/17/diminishing-solar-activity-may-bring-new-ice-age-by-2030/

  59. Anatomically-modern humans have been around for at least 200k years. For ~188k of those years, the spot where I sit was under two miles of ice. That was true of about 90% of the previous million years, too, so it’s not like it would be unlikely for that to happen again.

  60. Thanks everyone. Just got back from a eye exam.

    Worst birthday ever.

    * whispers…..they use fuzzy eye charts *

    I need these stupid eye drops to wear off so I can make a pick up.

  61. I’d wish you a happy birthday, scott, but it’s a scam, put on by Big Birthday Candle™

  62. I’m getting bifocals.

    I should probably pick up some tennis balls for my walker while I’m at it.

  63. Don’t forget to yell at a cloud.

  64. I’ve never had a good experience working for Chinese or middle eastern clients. I won’t work for them. Me too busy.

    Happy birthday, Scoot.

  65. You know what kinda bothers me lately?
    Don’t care, gonna tell you anyway.
    The condescension coming from media types. It’s the eye rolling, talking down to, feigning exasperation when Trump surrogates appear on shows.
    Are they spinning hard? You bet. That’s to be expected. Or at least it used to be.
    But I don’t remember seeing any of that when Obama was the President. Susan Rice could go on TV, lie her ass off, and everyone, and I mean everyone, would give her a pass or at best, gently question her statements. Mostly because she was an Obama political appointee, but also because she was a woman, black, and of a similar socio-economic class.
    That all seems to have changed and the media isn’t concealing it anymore. They can’t seem to listen or include people that aren’t exactly like them in thought, education, and perceived social standing.
    The divide in America is not about wealth, or race, or where you pee (ok, maybe a little); its about the upper middle class and their panty sniffers holding on for dear life and they lose relevancy. They’re fighting to the death but most of them will end up on the platform of the guillotine still yammering on about how Islam is the religion of peace and global warming is the real danger–not a nuclear armed Iran.
    It’s exhausting and confusing.

    Did you type that all in one breath?

  66. New fashion idea: Manicorn beards

  67. That’s a $25 comment MJ. Well done!

  68. I had some popcorn in a ziplock bag in one of my desk drawers. Yesterday a hole was chewed in it and there were mouse poopies all over the drawer.

    Set a trap in the corner.

    Dead motherfucking mouse this morning.

  69. Not sure I get the rectification of names concept, leon.

    Pls explain.

  70. You know what kinda bothers me lately?
    Don’t care, gonna tell you anyway.
    The condescension coming from media types. It’s the eye rolling, talking down to, feigning exasperation when Trump surrogates appear on shows.
    Are they spinning hard? You bet. That’s to be expected. Or at least it used to be.
    But I don’t remember seeing any of that when Obama was the President. Susan Rice could go on TV, lie her ass off, and everyone, and I mean everyone, would give her a pass or at best, gently question her statements. Mostly because she was an Obama political appointee, but also because she was a woman, black, and of a similar socio-economic class.
    That all seems to have changed and the media isn’t concealing it anymore. They can’t seem to listen or include people that aren’t exactly like them in thought, education, and perceived social standing.
    The divide in America is not about wealth, or race, or where you pee (ok, maybe a little); its about the upper middle class and their panty sniffers holding on for dear life and they lose relevancy. They’re fighting to the death but most of them will end up on the platform of the guillotine still yammering on about how Islam is the religion of peace and global warming is the real danger–not a nuclear armed Iran.
    It’s exhausting and confusing.

    Did you type that all in one breath?
    ————————-
    No.

  71. You know what kinda bothers me lately?
    Don’t care, gonna tell you anyway.
    The condescension coming from media types. It’s the eye rolling, talking down to, feigning exasperation when Trump surrogates appear on shows.
    Are they spinning hard? You bet. That’s to be expected. Or at least it used to be.
    But I don’t remember seeing any of that when Obama was the President. Susan Rice could go on TV, lie her ass off, and everyone, and I mean everyone, would give her a pass or at best, gently question her statements. Mostly because she was an Obama political appointee, but also because she was a woman, black, and of a similar socio-economic class.
    That all seems to have changed and the media isn’t concealing it anymore. They can’t seem to listen or include people that aren’t exactly like them in thought, education, and perceived social standing.
    The divide in America is not about wealth, or race, or where you pee (ok, maybe a little); its about the upper middle class and their panty sniffers holding on for dear life and they lose relevancy. They’re fighting to the death but most of them will end up on the platform of the guillotine still yammering on about how Islam is the religion of peace and global warming is the real danger–not a nuclear armed Iran.
    It’s exhausting and confusing.
    Did you type that all in one breath?
    ————————-
    No.

    How many bullwhips did you have shoved up your ass?

  72. Maxine Waters is actually nuts.

    You can tell she’s gotten away with saying very dumb things for most of her life but the spotlight is not kind. She sounds like a lunatic.

  73. Comment by MJ on May 11, 2017 8:47 am

    What? How is possible to live somewhere for 20 years and not pick up the language better?
    =======
    See Major League baseball players. $20Million contract and can’t freaking speak English after 15 years.

  74. Comment by scott on May 11, 2017 10:07 am

    I need these stupid eye drops to wear off so I can make a pick up.

    =======

    You definitely want good vision when you’re picking up “stuff”…….

  75. +1 on the rectification of names Leon.

    Too lazy to do more than skim the link and try to make the connections. It does sound like something I’d like to know more about but I’m giving my brain an easy day today.

  76. The basic idea is similar to what Orwell was trying to convey in another way in 1984: language no longer describes the world accurately, and it’s the force of the regime in power that ensures it is so.

    We’ve redefined “marriage” to include non-monogamous, inherently-sterile same-sex pairings. We’ve redefined “health insurance” as “health care” and we’ve defined killing unborn humans and drug-induced sterility as “health care” and “human rights”. We’ve redefined debt as wealth (dollars have value because we agree that they have value, even though each one represents a debt back to the Federal Reserve Bank). “Conservative” today means “left wing nutcase circa 30 years ago”. “Man”? “Woman”? Entirely an individual fashion choice, no objective truth in those words.

    Et cetera.

  77. https://www.wsj.com/articles/fact-checking-health-care-hysteria-1494455688

    May be behind the paywall but it does shoot down a lot of the hysteria about the house bill.

  78. You can pretty much look at any issue for a few minutes and see the blatant untruths embedded in the language of discourse, you just have to look. At the root of nearly every problem, lies that we ignore because they’re built right into the language. There are more I’m sure I’m not even seeing because they happened so long ago that I didn’t watch it change, and by the time I heard it the lie was culturally true.

  79. It bears mentioning that real fascists are now commonly referred to as antifa (schists).

  80. So you’re saying there aren’t 58 genders?

    What about Peach through Douche? I really believed that one.

  81. This happened nearby.

    Unbelievable slaughter.

  82. Oh yeah, “ownership”. What does it mean to own something? Do I own my house after it’s paid for? If so, what are property taxes? What about the minerals under the soil? Or any fossils that might be down there? What about rain water that lands here or soaks into my aquifer?

    A century ago, I’d have owned most of that in the sense that it would be mine to do with as I pleased. Now?

  83. What about Peach through Douche? I really believed that one.

    Bending over and offering your rectum for buggering only really works if the aggressor likes buggering. As such, it’s only a safe strategy sometimes.

  84. I liked how a taxing someone for not doing something wasn’t a tax it was healthcare for all.

    Until it was a tax for not doing something again, a which point it was once again free healthcare that was actually coercive shitty insurance.

  85. I wasn’t aware this shithole had gone Cyrillic.

  86. Buggery
    Sassy Rhubarb
    Whore Shoes
    Rectification
    Mouse Poopies
    Fuzzy Birthday Bifocals

    I ought to write a book incorporating these plot elements

  87. *adds Cyrillic to list*

  88. “Tax” is another one, thanks Roberts.

    We now have to send debt markers to the same entity that arbitrarily redefined them as such, for the crime of merely living in a geographic region of North America while being legally defined as members of a group arbitrarily under the jurisdiction of a gang of thugs with guns, and we named a tax so that’s okay.

  89. Not subject to the ‘tax’: anyone living here without the gang of thugs being aware of them, anyone who makes too little money but not quite enough to be ruined by it, or anyone who can successfully claim membership in a client group with a sufficiently powerful mandarin.

  90. tax = investment – totally the same thing

  91. Calling taxes “investments” annoys the hell out of me

  92. shovel ready jobs = spending money on bureaucrats salaries to buy their votes

  93. Don’t forget to yell at a cloud.

    ——–

    *high fives James*

  94. So good to see Andy.

  95. There is an article at Drudge about a old couple who died about 90 minutes apart holding hands…in a nursing home.

    Holy crap, I feel like crying like a baby. It’s an awesome story.

  96. An old

  97. The conference call video makes me think of two projects, similar goals but vastly different in practice and outcome. The first one, the conference calls lasted for three hours, minimum. Everyone had to prepare Powerpoints. I asked one question, was told “That’s a good question”, then we moved on to the next chart. I was never answered. They would ask for input at the end, but after 3 hours, no one wanted to say anything that would drag it out any further. Program was cancelled after 1.5 years with pretty much nothing to show for the effort except the powerpoints.

    Second one, meeting is scheduled for one hour, and we usually finish ahead of time. No charts except twice so far for design milestones so we can see the drawings before they go to the machine shop. To quote Star Trek IV, it’s “no ma’am, no bullshit.” Run down what needs to be done, what’s expected in the next two weeks and further down the line, then down the attendee list in a specific order, what are you doing, are you having any problems that need to be addressed. Hardware is being built as I type. Hasn’t flown yet, but it will happen, on time and on budget.

    Ooh, $20!

  98. Will the penis democrats ever admit there is no there there?

  99. Calling taxes “investments” annoys the hell out of me

    Pretty sure saying that to Andrew Jackson would get you caned within an inch of your life.

  100. If the top story at Ace isn’t addressed properly, you can add “Justice System”.

  101. 6 plus years of “BUT BUSH!!!!!!!!!” is now going to turn into 6 plus years of “THE RUSSIANS!!!!!”

    The election was six months ago and there hasn’t been a scrap of evidence of Russian influence or Trump collusion.

    There is no fucking there there.

  102. Leon, it’s just the Bangladesh Prime Minister. Who cares about that shithole?

  103. When I see a “I’m ready for Hillary” sticker (or any Hillary sticker) like I did today at Trader Joe’s, my gut reaction is a desire to tell the owner, “You’re a DUMBASS!!”

  104. Still can’t fathom how the senile old cunt chose Tim Kaine. He was her first public decision as a presidential candidate. LOSER.

  105. Also, “go away, you old stupid hippy!!”

  106. This old sausage hangar really needs to be institutionalized, for her own good before she hurts herself.

  107. Too bad about your tranny XBrad. Hope the new one runs smooth.

  108. Happy b’day Scott. Got bifocals on my fortieth, which was…um…some years ago. Get the types without lines, pricier but worth it.

  109. Enjoyed that post xbradtc and that first little dog is the dog I want and whom I’ll call, “Mr. Scruffums.” Keep us posted on the car!

  110. Happy B’Day, Scott!

  111. “her wife” is on the list of Names to be Rectified.

    Also, the amount of domestic abuse in gay relationships is terrifying.

    Oh yeah, and “gay” is another N2BR.

  112. This isn’t ominous at all.

  113. Probably all fags.

  114. I can’t imagine anyone has ever wanted to play hide the sausage with Merkel.

  115. I prefer the bifocals with the line because I hated bobbing my head up and down (SYWM) trying to find the right area of focus. I am very very nearsighted, so YMMV.

  116. Trump has five kids, I think.

  117. I think Trump gets to play hide the sausage a lot.

  118. Who wouldn’t want to with Melania?

  119. I’ve been putting off glasses for at least 20 years.

    It will be nice to be able to read again.

  120. If Trump really wants to drain the swamp, he would prosecute Hillary.

    Let’s see who she throws under the bus trying to save her ass.

    I bet it would start a chain reaction that would take out half of them.

  121. >>>>Who wouldn’t want to with Melania?

    I’d rather do your mom.

  122. Children are our future.

    Your children are our future.

    Your children are my future.

    Which is why I should have absolute power over how they grow and learn to think about the world.

    Peasant.

  123. Ooh, I would love to watch a political Kessler Syndrome reduce Washington to (metaphorical) rubble.

  124. MY INTERNET IS FIXED

  125. Good, now Car in can post in all caps again, doesn’t have to save bandwidth with lower case letters.

  126. OH, I STILL DON’T HAVE BANDWIDTH.

  127. I put off reading glasses a few years by enlarging the text on my ipad and kindle

  128. Did the weed eater use it all?

  129. Pay weed wacked my cable. I got a kid to come fix it. I gave him $40, which he’ll probably spend on weed.

  130. You should have given him a bag of oregano, and told him to hush up. Tell him its the good stuff.

  131. I don’t know where all my bandwidth goes. The plan I have now lets me surf this place and facedouche with no real problem. But if I try to do other stuff – there are issues. We ran out in record time this month. I don’t know who is doing what online.

  132. they should have a way to check that, Car in.

  133. We got a new car today. new to us. It’s nice but I like my subaru.

  134. Ooh, I would love to watch a political Kessler Syndrome reduce Washington to (metaphorical) rubble.

    **snort** Good one, BrotherCavil. (I’ve met Don Kessler several times and was in a class he taught.)

  135. I don’t know who is doing what online.

    Does all your house traffic go through a single router?

  136. Change the password, and you’ll find out who’s using it.

  137. I don’t know who is doing what online.
    ———————————
    Ask your kids if they know who Mia Khalifa is.

    That’ll answer your question.

  138. If I were Trump I’d encourage the Russian stories. At a certain point it’ll be like the birther thing.

    Also, if I were Trump I’d take Melania out for a nice dinner and ask her to read things out loud to me.

  139. Rich twats dressed bohemian style going to festivals makes me want to slam Bill Clinton’s junk in a car door.

  140. Ask your kids if they know who Mia Khalifa is.

    I had to look her up. Which reminds me of the MacGyver episode with Traci Lords. I didn’t recognize her, but I thought the name sounded familiar. Oh.

  141. According to grand jury testimony Bill Clinton’s junk already looks like its been slammed in a car door.

  142. Ask your kids if they know who Mia Khalifa is.

    Hannah: Duh, mom. She’s my hero!

  143. I don’t need any reason to want to slam Bill Clinton’s junk in a car door.

  144. In my Inbox:

    I want to put to structure real estate property development long term
    business operation in your region, i will provide fund for this
    project and will want a manager/consultant moving forward.

    Mohammad Zal Malik
    Scotland United Kingdom

    Yeah, Mohammad, let’s do lunch.

    Does anyone ever fall for this shit?

  145. Didn’t you hear about the Nigerian prince found dead with $42 million in cash? You could be missing out!

  146. That Corporal Hauntings thing at Ace’s made me lose brain cells reading that shit.

  147. Back from Vascular Surgeon consultation…… I’ll be having a “procedure” in a few weeks done by yet another specialist because this Surgeon I saw today has never repaired the type of aneurysm I have. The one I have is in a difficult area (where the renal artery junctions with three other arteries which branch to the kidney) and its not suitable for a stint which means I will be having a “cutting” operation vs. access the femoral.

    YAY. fucking. Me.

  148. Hillary’s the only one who ever actually got millions from a Nigerian prince.

  149. I just noticed the completely accurate header pic. Kudos to the brave truth-teller who put it up.

  150. A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer, they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing: she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.
    Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.
    After a couple of weeks, the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He said he hadn’t.
    Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
    Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. “Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.
    “No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. “Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.
    The man grinned and said. “She’s a battery salesperson.”
    “Batteries?” cried the wife.
    “Yes” he replied. “She sells C cells by the seashore.”

  151. Wow, Troy, prayers up. At least they know what needs to be done and are getting someone qualified to do it.

  152. Hotspur, what does that solicitation want?

  153. Yikes, Troy! Praying for the best possible outcome!

  154. Sorry, Troy. That sucks. Good luck.

  155. Car in knows lots about cutting a renal artery, and has the scars to prove it…

  156. LOL This couple cracks me up.

  157. Hotspur, what does that solicitation want?

    That’s all there was to it.

  158. Hope everything goes smoothly with surgery and recovery Troy.

  159. I bet they want unfettered access to Hotspur’s bank account

  160. Really? Really? We’re letting CoAlEx get away with that chhesy joke? Really?

  161. Prayers up, Troy.

  162. Cheesy!!!!

  163. Farting in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

  164. C Cells are the bastard child of batteries

    https://is.gd/ZPtuSM

    Seriously, who uses C batteries?

  165. I have a light in my shower that uses C cells.

  166. Boom box from the ’90s and Sirius radio boom box. So…old people that haven’t adapted to Bluetooth tech

  167. I have a flashlight that takes Cs, a clock, a vibra…never mind.

  168. Happy Birthday Scottw.

    https://is.gd/_I_got_you_ones_of_these_here

  169. Not much drama today. Lots of people on mental health LOA. Blanca Basura was asking me questions in clothing. My boss and I were very nice to her. Gave her directions to items in Club. She filled a duffel with electronics and successfully grabbed and dashed. I was on break when I heard about the G&D. Oops!

  170. http://tinyurl.com/kj96fce

  171. WHO WANTS TO SEE MY SCARS??

  172. I am fluent in Chinese-Viet Namese-Filipino English. I can even decipher Laotian and Cambodian. I can even speak Porfirio. ( He’s from the DR. No ONE can understand him. English or Spanish. I’m DR fluent😜)

  173. ARE THEY EMOTIONAL SCARS?

  174. Roamy, I only go one way. Tannins in Reds give me migraines. 😘

  175. Car in has been listening to her Cure albums again.

  176. Nobody listens to Cure albums.

  177. I am fluent in Chinese-Viet Namese-Filipino English. I can even decipher Laotian and Cambodian. I can even speak Porfirio. ( He’s from the DR. No ONE can understand him. English or Spanish. I’m DR fluent😜)

    But do you speak jive?

  178. IT’s SNASHING PUMPKINS YOU MUTHAFOCHER

  179. Not fluent in jive. Had to speak Mississippi mush mouth today though

  180. Snatching Blumpkins?

  181. Billy Corgan is a freak.

  182. I am fluent in Chinese-Viet Namese-Filipino English. I can even decipher Laotian and Cambodian. I can even speak Porfirio. ( He’s from the DR. No ONE can understand him. English or Spanish. I’m DR fluent😜)

    Diversity is our strength. And shit.

  183. Nah. She wanted socks.

  184. Myrna was from the Phillipines. She’d lived in the US for 40 years. Married Chair Force. I understood her English. See also Nguyen Vu. Mila is from the Czech Republic. Maybe my ears grew in tune to accented English as a child.

  185. Nothing makes sense.

  186. If you have experience with multiple languages, or a facility with languages in general, heavy accents are easier to understand. Scott used to just hand me the phone when he’d get some thick foreign accent calling in to the business.

  187. No yabla spanishio, pore forevour.

  188. Dan expects me to translate English from rural America. Yinzers and Southern Mushmouth. We have two associates from the South. Birmingham AL and Annapolis MD. Southern jive translate

  189. Nguyen must be like Smith over there.

    I need about 10 minutes of listening to the Vietnamese lady in the other lab before I understand her accent.

    As for Southern mushmouth, the guy from Arkansas pronounces “ice” as “ass”. (Hilarity ensues.)

  190. I thought mushmouth was a cartoon character. This is a thing?

  191. Had a guy ask for a bag of ass. I could not stop laughing long enough to code. Nguyen = Smith in South Vietnam Catholic. Khanh. Thieu.

  192. He is a character from Bill Cosby’s Fat Albert. Mushmouth is an accent that white people need google translate.

  193. It may be a tad rayciss, but Mushmouth is understood as Southern Ebonics no matter if your black or white🎶🎶🎶

  194. Mushmouth is just lazy speech, how bow dah girl is a recent example

    https://is.gd/ns8ZzZ

  195. Egads.

  196. Happy birthday, Scott! 😘

    Good luck with your upcoming surgery, Troy 💕

    A week from today, we’ll be in Miami, getting ready to marry off the girl. Sending the wedding present to the hotel tomorrow so that it will be there in time for the rehearsal dinner.

  197. I may hab a bit uh that mushmouf myself. Mah twel urol vikel caught far un burned up.

  198. Two weeks from tomorrow me and the misses gonna be in Cancun. I’ll be the fat guy w a drink in each hand. You can’t miss me.

  199. Happy Birthday, Scott. Play with Naughty Nurse Laura.

  200. Distressingly, Emil’s rabbit perished.


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