Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

87 Comments

  1. Enough categories??

  2. I think so.

  3. Cockfacefuckaloo seems like a nice little town. I hear your mom is from there.

  4. West Cockfacefuckaloo. Go Screaming Gophers!

  5. Gophers? Sounds more like a bird. Kind of like a cockatiel.

  6. Gopher? I hardly know her!

  7. So my thread choices between here and the HQ are: Obama, Hillary, suicide.

    Well, f*ck.

  8. Right your own content!

  9. *write

  10. Cockfuckfacealoo is the name of an obscure Indian tribe whose ancestors inhabited what is now called San Francisco…

  11. Obama is a wiener cleaner.

  12. Hillary is a beaver reliever.

  13. This poat is so fucking racist, it’s literally a hate crime.

  14. Asscocktuckaloo is where Leon’s Monday girls live.

  15. The Fact that he’s commenting in between his jet-set/yachting lifestyle makes it all the difficult.

    You’d think the comedy writers would notice this, but Trump!

  16. Afternoon delivery by the shore tipped us $100! We’re at a clamshack for lunch. Scott is getting a lobster roll. Turned out to be a delightful day.

  17. From Hotspur’s Obama cake hole link:
    “More advanced countries, Obama said, would have to teach people to “have a smaller steak” and how to reduce their meat consumption.”

    Ah, yes – because people in all of those lesser countries have SOOOOO much food to eat. Why, it’s 15 oz ribeyes every weekday and Waygu beef on Sundays.

    I don’t know why we send them so much grain…..

  18. Cockfacefuckaloo beat Anycock’lldo on last second three. Your mom saw the whole thing from under the bleachers.

  19. Cockfacefuckaloo – isn’t that a breed of dog?

  20. Pretty sure MJ’s dog is a cockfacefuckaloo.

  21. Either that or a dickassborderpussyscrewtch.

  22. Comment by Teresa in Fort Worth, TX on May 9, 2017 3:54 pm

    I don’t know why we send them so much grain…..

    =======

    Because politicians in grain producing states want the farmers to be happy and re-elect them. So they use your tax dollars to generate artificial demand and higher prices for grain.

  23. Because maize and Soros run the country.

  24. The Donald to Comey: “You’re Fired!”
    Per AP…

  25. So, uh, I have a weird question. If I poat a pic of it, could any of you burnouts tell me if the weed I found growing in my yard is, well, weed?

  26. Holy Shit, a high level official being fired?!

  27. We have a weed that looks a lot like pot. I have been unable to identify it.

  28. We have to burn the weed to find out if it’s weed.

    –shit Nancy Pelosi prolly said; Vol I.

  29. Nope.

  30. There’s a couple of wild things that grow in our latitude that are pot looking.

    Cinquefoil is one, but I’m not sure it’s up yet.

  31. It’s got the furry texture I’ve read about, so I’m really nervous.

  32. Mebbe. Not admitting to anything. Big huge maybe able to identify.

  33. email me a pic? I’m pretty good at seedling ID, if it’s something that grows here too.

  34. My alternative is to take a sample of it to one of the medical places near me and say “is this what I think it is?”

  35. I doubt pot would be up yet.

    I wouldn’t be nervous, it does grow wild.

  36. Canada thistle seedlings are fuzzy.

  37. Send me a pic. I’ll take it from there

  38. This seems serious

    http://www.hanford.gov/c.cfm/eoc/?page=290

  39. Cleavers, the weeds in the cleaver family have those palmate leaves too.

  40. Pick, dry, roll, smoke.

    If you feel good and want an ice cream sandwich, it’s weed.

    If you die, it’s not.

  41. I am sorry to hear about Bob Owens. Still don’t know why he blocked me on Twitter.

    Also sorry about your cat, TiFW.

  42. Thanks Laura, I’ll just hit all that with vinegar later if I can’t get it with the lawnmower.

  43. Leon, google image search potentilla recta.

  44. The returned cold is playing havoc on our fungus. That one morel is the lone fruiting body I’ve been able to find in the last couple of days that wasn’t in my actual garden.

  45. I hope you have abundant fungus soon, Leon.

  46. https://is.gd/ukEviy

  47. https://is.gd/jlgW7S

  48. There are some in the garden, like I said, but I don’t know what species they are. I should join one of the mushroom id fora and ask.

  49. Stoopid Yankees.

  50. Haaaahah, good one, Pups!

    That whole drinking for “notes” is for suckers.

  51. Send me the plant. I’ll identify it.

  52. Sup Feggits?

  53. “Taking a chance is tough”

    This is the tag line for a commercial set at a “festival” and the girl takes a chance sliding into a mud pit.

    That’s the tough chance.

    We are sooooooooooo stooooopid!

  54. Herr, nice to see you.

  55. “Very risky of Trump to fire Comey without first getting permission from a federal judge in Hawaii. ”

    /Colter

  56. Just stopped by to say hey to all my favorites. Love you guys.

  57. Love you too, Herr. Why aren’t you watching Yankees/Reds? Which inning do you have the Reds breaking your heart? Dan has 5. I have 9.

  58. Not the 9th. I’ll take the seventh. The Yankees get a stretch, cuz they’re tired, and it all goes to shit.

  59. Herr, are you watching Brockmire? (We penciled you in for 7)

  60. No havent seen it though I’ve heard it’s pretty funny.

  61. OK, apparently I meant the 6th…

  62. Yeah. Definitely the sixth.

  63. Shitcanning Comey after Hillbags blamed him for losing is goddamn hilarious.

    No matter how hard she tries, she’s Trump’s bitch.

    After today, I wonder if he banged her back in the 90s.

  64. It was a beautiful trolling. Art…..

  65. Heh, now all the dems who hated Comey during the election are declaring their everlasting devotion to his outstanding tenure at the helm of the FBI.

  66. 😜😜😜 I was all like Faaackkk in the 6th.

  67. ok. I was wrong about the 7th.

  68. LOB is my heartbreak stat

  69. The year of the Fire Cock rolls onward.

  70. Assange tweeted Comey a job offer, too.

  71. We brought a 200 lb armoire up a flight of stairs today.

  72. Armoires are cool. We had them in VA

  73. We wont be doing it again.

  74. Dolly?

  75. Old age.

  76. We survived another close one.

  77. I can barely do 6 straight in retail anymore. My right knee is a mess after all the walking and lifting. I made my 23 year old boss shrink my pallets. My knee can’t handle shrinking a pallet. My ice pack is blue 😜

  78. 8 straight on the road for the first place Cardinals.

  79. NL Central is too close to talk 💩 We were in first on Sunday. Tied for worst with the Buccos last week.

  80. I liked this poat solely for “the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!”

  81. I could work at 4 or 5 tomorrow. Dan needs his beauty sleep. Awake at 4; work by 5.

  82. Oso kilt it with her work schedule.

  83. Do Episcopalians read Proverbs?

  84. Oy!!!


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