Heavy Medication




  1. I’ve got the man cold. Is it ok to take sudafed, mucinex, benadryl, and Claritin D all at the same time?

    We shall see.

  2. Pups, definitely add some booze!

  3. “put a load in the dishwasher”


  4. wakey wakey
    Rub some dirt on your face Pups. That’ll fix everything.

  5. Dave Rubin keeps saying he’s on the left.

    He isn’t. He’s rummaging around in the crazy box for the clue bat.

  6. Pups, definitely add some booze!

    Way ahead of you there, Dr. Mare.

  7. I got my degree at WhydidIdrinkallthatwine University.

    Although I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in 43 days. Sugar neither. Oh and only carbs found in veggies, lettuce, chia, flax or protein powder to equal less than 20 grams /day. SON OF A BITCH!

  8. Good job, Mare.

  9. Tomorrow, there will much much consumption of sugar.

    Fruit pizza and carrot cake.

  10. You may not want to operate any sort of machinery with that combo.

    Consider a plastic tarp under a blanket on the couch too. You know, just in case you need to let things go in your catatonic state.

  11. Fruit pizza

    Do tell…

  12. I’ve only cut out sugar, but I have done crossfit 5 times a week for the last two months, done an extra workout at home on day 6, and often doubled up on workouts (spinning at home). My PRs are all up.

    But the wine has flowed. And healthy carbs. I eat rice. Some potatoes. Very little bread.

    Some crackers too here and there.

  13. As disciplined as I’ve been this weight loss is going slower than Xbradtc shopping on a blowup girlfriend website.

    I did, however, fit into a pair of pants that were so old they are now back in style. True story ( I didn’t say it was an interesting story).

  14. Cliff Claven is my favorite philophoser.

  15. I can smell colors!


  16. What is this rice, potatoes and bread you speak of?

    Thanks, Leon.

  17. I can smell colors!



  18. We need an H2 batman like light to call H2ers home. Chumpo, Tushar, Cyn, too many!

  19. Shut up, Mare.

    You do not need to lose weight.

    I’ll cut you.

  20. https://is.gd/8PXB1e

  21. Smoooches to Hotspur!

  22. I also have done 2 24 hr fasts this week- finishing second right now, and just ran 4 miles 19 hrs into the fast.

  23. He needs to hang out in the produce section of his local supermarket. Guaranteed to find a chick who cooks there. If she also buys meat she’s a keeper.

    True story, my dad worked produce at Fred Meyer (local Kroger chain) for years, and has stories. STORIES! He once had a mother and daughter proposition him. Said women get weird in the produce department. Apparently they do find vegetables sensuous.

    Most of the women in the audience seemed to be divided between lesbians, and women there with their boyfriends (faux-bisexual fantasies?) so my odds weren’t good to begin with. That’s ok, I enjoy these shows and it’s a chance to get out and be somewhat social. I’ve been trying to expand my circle of friends and activities. I’ve relied in the past on having a a few close friends, but that always bites me in the ass at some point.

  24. I never use the parking brake in the truck, but boy2 set it this morning and the plastic release handle broke. He’s on the road, had to borrow some pliers and yank on the cable.

  25. Is Roamy at her daughter’s science competition?

  26. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/style/workouts-for-nerds.html

  27. Leon,is your app Seconds?

  28. I just made a layered omelette, and it was awesome.
    Take 3 eggs and beat them to death. Add salt to the injuries. Add a dash of soy sauce and vinegar if you are a salty or sour kind of person.

    Have some finely diced/grated veggies on hand. I used radishes and onions, because I am a pungent guy. carrot shavings, spring onions and garlic works as well. You can also use mild Kimchi or Sauerkraut if you are squinty eyed or a racist Nazi.

    Take a frying pan (square if you have it, but round will do).
    Heat. Coat with a cooking spray or a bit of cooking oil. Let it heat up.
    pour a thin layer of egg-murder. Spread a thin layer of veggies on top and let it cook a bit.

    When it is cooked to your liking, roll one edge to form a roughly 2-3 inch wide roll. Shove to a side. On a square pan, it will go to one end. On a circular pan, it will go about 2/3rd of the way.
    On the side that has more frying pan real estate, pour another thin layer of egg-beatings so it merges with your roll. Add more veggies if you are a sadist. Continue the pour/cook/roll cycle until you run out of eggs and have a ginormous omelette roll.

    Serve on a plate and devour it like the greedy bastard you are.

  29. I just bought a square pan at BJ’s Wholesale and the chef/dishwasher doesn’t like it so much. She prefers the round pan for eggs. Go figure.

  30. I just put my meat loaded baked beans in the oven. I had to use a bigger Dutch oven type pan to fit everything. I hope these turn out good because there’s a shit ton of them. I ran out of molasses and ended up using a little more brown sugar and maple syrup.

  31. *wonders if Alex is shopping for veggies now

  32. Jimbro, make the above omelette in that square pan for the Mrs.
    Apparently a man who cooks makes the women frisky.

  33. Mare, I have not run away. I am just too busy to hang out on the internet.

    Apparently, a promotion is followed by more responsibilities and work. Why was I not informed beforehand?

  34. I just put my meat loaded baked beans in the oven.


  35. “Oops!”
    that is soooo fucked up – it’s as if the universe is testing them

  36. Paula does enjoy my cooking. I wish I could say the same for the boys. It’s frustrating to are a large quantity of a meal and enjoy it a few times then toss it after a week when it’s discovered pushed to the back of the fridge. I’ve suggested many times we need to stop buying the crap they do eat (frozen pizza, boxed mac n cheese, etc) but mom gets the final say. Their loss.

  37. Giving your sister the hot beef injection would be really really awkward going forward

  38. It’s just called Tabata Timer, Maret.

    Tushar, when are you teaching your next slumloarding seminar?

  39. Leon, at the next meatup. Be there. BTW, are we having the meatup in June? I have been a bit out of touch lately.

  40. No vegetables for me. I am going to the store later to pick up a pizza and a couple of Mexican Cokes.

  41. I can’t make Wyoming:(

  42. We had pizza night here last night. The adults had the Old Port pizza and the boys had a colossal pepperoni.


  43. so yesterday evening I took the family out for a drive around NY city. As I was driving back (around 10 PM), most of the traffic was in the right lane, and there was just one slow SUV in the left lane, doing 85 MPH. So I got impatient, got in the middle lane, sped past him and got back into the left lane. He did not like it one bit, and flashed his police lights. Fuck! I slowed down and got in middle lane, preparing to stop on the right shoulder and get a hefty ticket. But the cop was satisfied when I slowed down, and continued his 85 MPH stroll.

    Bless him.

  44. https://www.hermancain.com/this-is-quite-possibly-the-greatest-tv

  45. I’ve had cops do the light flash to me too Tushar. When you realize they’re just giving you a friendly warning it’s a big relief. That lasts a few days then it’s back to speeding again.

  46. Penelope cooked 3 racks of ribs in the PBC yesterday. I may have eaten a bit too much last night. They were perfect.

  47. I’m amused that you consider 85 mph slow.

  48. 85 mph IS slow in some parts of Texas. (Houston freeways, I’m looking at you….)

  49. Mr. RFH is from NJ, so that explains a lot.

  50. Well, it’s very good to see you Tushar. You too, Teresa!

  51. Tushar, he didn’t want to.be called a racist cop.

  52. When I speed Paula chalks it up to me being from MA. I still remember the first time I drove with her on the Southeast Expressway and needed to merge into traffic. I couldn’t hear the radio over her yelling in panic. She’s since learned how to navigate down there after driving her step mom back and forth to MGH for her thoracic aneurysm treatments.

  53. So, we’ve got this fella running for the FWISD school board.

    Mr. TiFW: You should share that with your blogging buddies.
    Me: I’ll put it up at the Hostages site.
    Mr. TiFW (guffawing): Oh, yeah – they’ll have LOTS of fun with that one!

    Have fun, guys:

  54. Anael Luebanos: He has a deep penetrating knowledge of the issues.

    Anael Luebanos: Your mom loves him.

  55. Hotspur, it was night. There was no way for him to tell. In NJ there are a shitload of brown people (see what I did there?), and they know us to be generally law abiding people.

  56. Anael Leubanos – will reduce friction and ensure a smooth experience

  57. Anael Leubanos – Will ensure a pain free student teacher interaction

  58. Kaitlin Jenner has a lifetime supply of Anael Leubanos.

  59. Anael Luebanos: For The Children

  60. Lueb….anos sunshine when she’s gone

  61. blerg

  62. I have to give Pay some bad news. Should I liquor him up? I’m not really feeling like doing it tonight.

    Erin had a party and some stupid kids damaged something. I haven’t told him yet. ugh.

  63. Might need more than liquor, depending.

  64. What did they damage?

    Can Princeton use a girl like Erin?

  65. “Should I liquor him up?”

    nope, just use Anael Luebanos

  66. I bought a roast and cut it into steaks, cooked them with indirect heat on the grill and finished with direct heat, came out really good. I bought some “sweet potatoes” and baked them, but they were a kind I’d never seen before, I think they might have been yams, the flesh was white like a regular potato. Tasted sweet though. I was wearing my work gloves to do the grilling, and I grabbed the foil wrapped potatoes out of the oven without thinking. The boiling hot liquid was pooled in the foil and ran into the palm of my hand and between my fingers. Ouch. Kind of put a damper on dinner.

  67. Should I liquor him up?

    I take bad news worse under the influence. Maybe get him so drunk he blacks out, then tell him he did the damage the stupid kids did tomorrow morning.

  68. Ok. IT’s been told. Two drinks. Told him I’d been preparing for “the talk” with Erin all day.

    Went well.

  69. If you wrap your hand in a wet cloth it will hurt a lot less.

  70. “Erin had a party and some stupid kids damaged something.”

    Was it purple?

    Was it a hymen?

    Was it a Newf?

    Was it your psyche?

  71. Is the muddler okay?

  72. Was it a hymen?

    So glad I wasn’t the one to say this.

  73. Maybe you should have laced the drinks with valium.

  74. The muddler is fine.

  75. pea sized hail at mom’s house. going over for the best tenderloin in the state

  76. Stupid kid got on our atv, and drove it into the deck support.

    Yes. The deck support.

    It’s cracked, but Pay thinks he can fix it.

    I told erin that
    1) she was grounded until the deck was fixed
    2) the boys who did it were banned from our house unless
    3) they helped fix it and
    4) she shouldn’t be around boys who wouldn’t man-up after such a boner move.

    Apparently the young man (who was kicked OUT of the bonfire last night afterwards) contacted her this morning and said he wanted to help with repairs.

  77. Well, I don’t have any kids, but I don’t think I would ever allow boys who pulled a “boner move” around my daughter back to the house.

  78. Is Pay gonna replace the support with a new one?

    The knucklehead kid should pay for the house jacks.

  79. Was alcohol involved?

  80. 3-4 rolls of duct tape should do it.

  81. Sean’s a natural.

  82. And I’m spectacular.

  83. would have been more fun to get Pay to believe he did it.

  84. Spike Pay’s drink, wait until he’s unconscious, put him on ATV next to post. Wait until he wakes up and hilarity ensues……

  85. Deck supports are overrated.

    It’s bullshit promoted by Big Deck.

  86. Spike Pay’s drink, wait until he’s unconscious, put him on ATV next to post. Wait until he wakes up and hilarity ensues……

    Also… put a dead clown next to the support.

  87. also, if those kids go anywhere, make sure that kid isn’t driving

  88. You guys live in Michigan. Shoulda just blamed it on Juggalos.

  89. Weekend at the in-laws.

    Lately, MiL has been accusing me of being a heavy drinker when I visit.

    So this weekend, I’ve been taking it slow. One drink before dinner, one glass of wine with dinner and tonight, nothing after dinner.

    Well, nothing except for the can of seltzer that I got from the garage.

    As I come in from the garage, MiL looks at me at says, with incredible vitriol, “You do realize that you left an almost full can of seltzer over there, don’t you?!?!”

    A) Not my seltzer over there…

    2) oh just go fuck yourself you fucking cunt.

    iii) Where’s the fucking vodka, you miserable bitch?

  90. Went out to dinner in Tucson at a nice restaurant near my mom’s house. It’s in an upscale shopping mall. A couple of days after we were there, there was a shooting in or near the restaurant. A guy shot his ex-wife in the leg, killed her date, then killed himself. Crazy.

    I’d go with the Juggalo explanation.

  91. That was my seltzer. Sorry. My bad.

  92. Meanwhile, douchebag BiL has convinced his idiot wife that he has to be at work at 5am tomorrow morning at PetSmart, meaning, damn, he can’t be a part of the family’s traditional Easter festivities….

    And we’re all supposed to nod and say “shucks, what a damn shame.” Knowing that he is totally full of shit.

    But I’m the bad guy….

  93. And, as usual, instead of having a relaxing weekend, I’ve worked my balls off prepping for her fucking dinner party allfucking day, with zero help from either her son or asshole BiL’s sons…

    But god forbid I sit and have a couple of beers afterwards….

  94. Easter kibble

  95. Easter 2018:

    Wiserbud: Hey, how about we give the whole Easter thing at the farm a pass this year?

    Wiserbride: But no one misses Easter on the farm!!

    Wiserbud: 3 of your cousins and your brother weren’t there last year!

    Wiserbride: I KNOW! That’s why we have to be there this year!!!

  96. 2) the boys who did it were banned from our house unless
    3) they helped fix it and
    4) she shouldn’t be around boys who wouldn’t man-up after such a boner move.

    When I was a senior in HS this girl I knew was having a pre-graduation party at her house. Her parents, who were both heavy drinkers, were there. After a beer or two I decided I could slam dunk on her basketball goal. So I find a ball, stretch a little and give it a go. Pull the whole fucking thing down on top of me. I walk in the house wearing the goal as a necklace with th backboard hanging down my back. I offer to come over the next day and reinstall it above the garage door. They’ll hear nothing of it. They’re laughing their asses off and making me take pictures and do shots. One of my most rewarding fuckups Evah.

  97. Grandma is on home hospice. Dad figures she has a couple months left. She’s decided that she doesn’t want to go back to the hospital, won’t stick to the recommended diet, and is basically a stubborn Norwegian.

  98. Uff Dah!

  99. wow, and they wonder why half the country doesn’t watch SNL. Fallon is on so it was supposed to be a classic, but Alec Baldwin is doing his trump impression again.

  100. This joint is deader than xbrad’s google search history for your mom jokes.

  101. Today at The Club sucked balls!!! God bless bourbon!!!

  102. The greatist mash-up of election night meltdowns.
    I watched and smiled, and I never smile…

  103. Oso, did you run over a customer on an Amigo with a stolen forklift?

  104. We close at 8:30. Member comes in at 8:25 to set up a new phone contract. 32 cashiers=fully staffed. We have 16. Most of our managers are calendar ignorant. They approved multiple TO requests for yesterday and today. Didn’t realize it was Good Friday/Easter Wknd.

  105. CoAlEx, I nearly got run over by an Amigo while spotting the Lift. Close enough?

  106. Oso, you gotta punch those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.

  107. Today was brutal! We have 8 ft throughways and aisles. Messicans and Indians walk abreast. I kept getting bumped. I was folding and sizing kids clothes. Member to Oso: I need a Large.
    Oso: What size?
    Member: Large.
    Oso: Sizes are 4,6,8,10, or 12.
    Member: I need a Large.
    Oso: Gives her a size 10

  108. Oh boy, Ken Burns has done a Vietnam documentary series that’s gonna be on PBS this fall. I can’t wait to watch twelve hours about how racist everything was and about fifteen minutes of actual military history.

  109. Ken Burns has a worse Pete Rose than I do. I could kick his liberal ass. Defund PBS

  110. If you have seen any of the Antifa footage from Berkeley, I need some knowledge. Trumper totally coldcocks a female Antifa. Is hippie punching okay, or is it wrong to celebrate a hippie chick getting what she wanted?

  111. Hippie chick is probably used to her douchebag liberal boyfriends. Getting cold-cocked by a red-blooded Trumper probably made her wet.

  112. I’m all about hippie punching, but DAMN!

  113. My WIserBud Story Addendum: My great grandfather was a drunk. Riding his horse into the school kind of drunk. My grandfather made a point to never drink. Ever. My grandmother’s brothers made cash bootlegging during Prohibition. I drink. My dad had a few. Surrounded by people that make a point that they’re drinking “Tea”. My bro’s first law partner was Mormon. Told my bro to always have at least 2 Mormons at any gathering. Long story short: drinking is in the eye of the beholder. I’m surprised to say that I can take it or leave it. I scare myself. Lent assures me.

  114. Oso, grandpa is a drinker. I can sit with a untouched glass of bourbon. My problem is that I will sometimes have too much when around friends. Not sure why. Social anxiety, too trusting, something.

  115. Meat up truth: drink and be close enough to room to sleep it off

  116. He is risen!!! Happy Easter!!!

  117. Home from Easter Vigil. Alleluia, Happy Easter!

  118. Roamy Easter menu post!!! He is risen!!!

  119. Meat up truth: drink and be close enough to room to sleep it off

    Heh. Last time I drank too much, friends won’t speak to me anymore. I need to be more careful. Can’t risk it anymore.

  120. CoAlex, you didn’t drink too much at TITS.

  121. Roamy,

    Yup. I was careful.

  122. I try to derp
    They’re wide awake
    They won’t let me alone
    They don’t get paid to take vacations
    Or let me alone

  123. I hope you all have a wonderful Easter. Remember the reason for the season!

  124. “Comment by Oso on April 16, 2017 1:52 am

    He is risen!!! Happy Easter!!!”

    He is Risen Indeed!!

    Happy Easter friends!

  125. wakey wakey

  126. Have a wonderful day, everyone. Scott and I will be with my uncle’s family this year.

    Oso, yesterday blew at my job, too. My ‘team’ let me take most of the responsibility for a ‘team’ function, again, and at the end I was alone outdoors freezing my ass off in the wind with a pile of merchandise while they kibbitzed indoors.

    I looked in the front doors and saw a couple of them just standing around talking when they were supposed to be moving shit and helping me get inside. So I just left that all shit out on the sidewalk, walked in, handed them my materials, told them I was freezing and angry with them, and walked away from the whole thing. Kids.

  127. I was busy at work yesterday, but it was ok. I have no idea how today will be, but it will probably suck.

    Instead of relaxing and enjoying my morning, I’ve decided I WILL MAKE that carrotcake with the cheesecake layer. I really want it.

    Cheescake is in the often. I’m about to start the carrot layer. My daughter will probably have to assemble and frost.

    Fruit pizza I made last night, but I’m taking that to work.

  128. Today is “rest day”. I hate rest day.

  129. If I were Wiser, I’d be drinking “Seltzer” all day.

  130. Morning.

  131. I have an assignment due tonight. See if I can knock it out before it’s time to go to Easter supper.

  132. Car in, I took Mrs. Pendejo out to eat last night. Waitress was early 20s, 5’6″ish, roughly 275lbs. She would be unpretty even if she was a normal waitress weight.

    She was sporting a pair of Daisy Dukes and the cellulite emerging from those cutoffs was impressive. I tipped her $7 on a $37 ticket because of you. I also drank heavily while le driving home.

  133. Good job PG. I’ve gotten mostly good tips this weekend. One girl got 3 on 107 yesterday.


  135. I had your waitress’s twin Pendejo. But she was wearing slacks and an apron I could have made into a tent.

  136. https://is.gd/qSDXsI

  137. Me, negotiating through life like a boss.


  138. Pups, Happy Birthday, you sweet dog!

  139. My winning streak ends.


  140. Happy birthday, Pupster.

    Here, have a greeting card.


  141. Happy Birthday, Pups!

  142. Nice links, Pups! Heh

    High fives, Tushar!

  143. happy birthday pupster – http://tinyurl.com/knop4lq

  144. Mare?


  145. https://is.gd/tuSXUD

  146. HBD Pupster!

    My birthday wish for you is rapid healing for your potato juice burn

  147. Happy Birthday Pupster! You’re a Good Dog.

    Here, I got you something.


    Yaaaayyy! It fits!

  148. Paula’s BD was Friday. I set a reminder on my phone last year but neglected to set the yearly repeat. I remembered last week on Wednesday and promptly forgot within an hour. Luckily I had bought some extra jewelry around Christmas for this exact reason (based on my past history). She worked overnight Thursday and was just waking up as I walked in with flowers, card and ice cream cake.


  149. hah!

  150. My work computer has a bookmark for The Hostages that says something about “The Hostages…yada yada…Since 2009: Easter At Roamy’s”

  151. Happy birthday Pupster!

  152. Jimbro, in my early days as a Hostage, I was so happy that I had started this joke thread.


    That more than the noogies and bullwhips made me feel like I belonged.

  153. Ha! I’ve had the same laptop at work since 2009!

  154. Good one Roamy

  155. I tried to shove my chocolate Easter bunny up Jimbro’s ass, but there were too many bull whips.

  156. I tried to discuss gardening w my chocolate Easter bunny but he didn’t give a shit either.

  157. Hotspur wore his Easter bunny suit to the Furry convention in Ann Arbor but was thrown out for trying to fondle My Pretty Pony

  158. Happy Birthday, Puppeh!

  159. HBD Pups!

  160. I tried to make a joke about Amy Schumer and chocolate bunnies, but nobody laughed.

  161. I got a Trump chocolate bunny and it was YUGE.

  162. Happy birthday, Pupster!

  163. My life probably just got a lot better. I’ve been locked out of twitter. That should free up about 30 minutes per day. Best I can figure, telling some snowflake who was whining about Syria that “at least our current CinC isn’t a red line drawing, no enforcing, pussy” is a violation of some sort. That’s about the only tweet I made today. Fuck em.

  164. Lauraw, there are days when I want to go off on every single milennial until they cry. I H8 having to ask them the same thing every single shift. At some point, you would think that they would take initiative without being asked. Drives me crazy!!! Retired cop with TBI = working with milennials

  165. Millenials kilt it.

    Sauerbraten cooking away in the crockpot. I will make seven-layer bars in a bit.

  166. I’m busy reading about cointegration of time-series variables. Thrilling stuff.

  167. Thanks for the well wishes friends.

    The wonder dog and I are sitting in the sun, watching ribs and chickychicky on the grill.

    I am the luckiest (50 year old) man alive, and my life is awesome.

  168. Ham Coma

  169. We went to Taco Cabana after Mass. Mmm…bacon tacos. Had pancakes. Watching baseball. Attended Mass at MiLs church so we could drop off an envelope and keep her active. Music director sounded like a cross between Kermit TF and Emmett Otter. I got “The Look” from Dan. Not my fault I started quoting Life of Brian. Not my fault that once I made my KTF/EO observation that Dan laughed.

  170. I saw Ham Coma open for Chicky Chicky at The Mezzanine back in ’03.

  171. 🐥🐥 Chicky chicky

  172. Happy birthday, Pupster!

  173. blreg

  174. Dan is testing a new bacon/asparagus recipe on me. His jalapeno deviled eggs were awesome. (Allergic reaction confined to swollen tongue and unable to feel my lips)

  175. Happy birfday, Puppeh!


  176. How was your day of rest, Carin?

  177. B haaa haaa haaa …

    I’m exhausted. Work was busy – I walked 5.6 miles.

    My dogs are really barking. Didn’t help that I was up at 7 am making that carrotcake/cheese cake MASTERPIECE.

    It turned out really yummy.

  178. Had a low carb pizza. It is a recipe that we saw on internet, modified and perfected.

    The dough is made from grated cauliflower, psyllium husk and almond floor. Toppings are the usual complement of veggies, cheese, condiments, mushrooms and chicken.

    While not exactly like your usual carby pizza, it still tastes awesome.

  179. almond floor

    Sounds like that would make for a crunchy crust.

  180. While not exactly like your usual carby pizza, it still tastes awesome.

    /cries because Tushar is lying to himself

  181. Tush, are you coming to WY?

  182. Dan is frying bacon for his asparagus recipe. Mmmm…bacon.

  183. Oso, most likely, but not 100% sure.

  184. Car in, I am not the type to lie to myself. I am acutely aware of the compromises I had to make in the taste department.

    This pizza is not just ‘not bad’ or ‘acceptable’. It is actually good.
    Can’t say the same about a lot of other stuff I eat.

  185. BTW! Do we know how many people are confirmed for WY?

  186. It has begun

    Family asking me about their ailments on holidays. I HAVEN’T EVEN GRADUATED YET, PEOPLE. Go see your doctor. Dang. The heck you expect me to do while at Easter dinner, anyway?

    One of my profs told us that if we should ever find ourselves in a group of old people, never, never, never, let them know you are a nurse.

    …so anyway, guys, yeah…I was just kidding about “nursing school.” Truth is, I’m a toll booth operator. As it turns out…wow, right…nobody was more surprised than me. Soooo.Yeah.

  187. Heh. It’s like how people with pickup trucks have to keep that on the down-low unless they don’t care about looking like a dick for refusing to help move someone’s goddamn couch.

  188. No one ever seems to ask me, but this is rural Michigan. No pickup = weirdo.

  189. We booked our flights.

  190. I love moving people’s furniture.

    I’ve got a guy who pays top dollar for it.

  191. Correction, a friend asked me if I wanted to come haul away a truckload of wood chips, but I said I wanted them when he mentioned felling the tree.

  192. Laura, just tell them “It sounds like Lupus. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

  193. It’s kind of worse, Sean, because when you graduate this sort of 4-year program, you graduate as an untrained beginner. All you have is a ton of theoretical knowledge, with very little work experience. So this would be like asking a guy with a pickup truck to help you move, when he doesn’t know how to drive the truck.

  194. We booked our flights.

    No Party Van roadtrip?

  195. Flying is a lot cheaper.

  196. if you don’t figure in the beatings.

  197. So this would be like asking a guy with a pickup truck to help you move, when he doesn’t know how to drive the truck.

    Also, the couch might be full-blown AIDS.

  198. But if you agreed to deliver *cough* something for me on your way back, you can write it off as a business trip.

  199. Normally I pay extra to have a woman dressed as a United stewardess beat me.

  200. Also, laura could check out that cough for you, Colex.

  201. https://is.gd/sPv8Aa

  202. LauraW……..just check them for prostate cancer. After the first two or three share their experience, the rest will probably shut the fuck up.

    It’s like you’ve learned nothing from hanging out with all us shithooks for the past umpteen years.

  203. I’m finda mail $4084 to the US Treasury. I’m the luckiest man in the world and my life is awesome.

  204. One of my cousins is Dan’s dermatologist. She caught his skin cancer. Other MD cousin was my go to when I was Web MDing myself. She is worse than my MD. Both keep telling me to stay off the interwebs

  205. LauraW……..just check them for prostate cancer.


  206. I have skin tags. I used to use New Skin to get rid of. Blah blah blah. Diabeetus sucks. No skin tag removal. No pedis. No waxing.

  207. I have skin tags under my arms. A razor blade takes care of the ones I can reach.

  208. laura, does this look infected?

  209. I can’t even clip my own toe nails. Stoopid diabeetus

  210. You know what’s fun? Trying to transfer a phone to straight talk from sprint. With ESL optional operators.

  211. CoAlEx…skin tags = gall bladder. Every curandero knows.

  212. curand….ero sunshine when she’s gone.

  213. 🎶🎶🎶

  214. Oso, I thought it meant I should get my prostate checked.

  215. Sure, why not? Voodoo mexicano equates skin tags to gall bladder, but go ahead and be all whitey mcwhiterson about quasi science 😜

  216. CoAlex, I saw your bucket list checkoff at AoS.

    My bucket list as of right now:
    Visit all 50 states (currently at 41)
    See the aurora
    Crater Lake National Park
    Meet all the Hostages

  217. Voodoo Mexicano is, coincidentally, the name of my Stan Ridgway tribute band.

  218. Roamy,

    Yeah, the list on the ONT is pretty SWPLish, but there are a few interesting things. Things I want to do before I die:

    1) Carve a statue, or cast one in bronze.
    2) Ride a motorcycle from Barcelona to Rome
    3) Ride a horse along the Silk Road
    4) Learn to play the violin
    5) Raise at least three kids.
    6) Build a house in the country

  219. Voodoo Mexicano is, coincidentally, the name of my Stan Ridgway tribute band.

    This is why I can’t quit you guys.

  220. 6) Build a house in the country

    Mr. RFH and I contracted to build this house 21 years ago. Protip: divvy up the house into his and hers, and let that person have the final say. A lot less arguing that way.

    I’m still kicking myself for missing out on meeting Jimbro 3 years ago. I plan to go to Maine again either next year or 2019.

  221. I’m glad at least one person got that, Colex.

  222. Roamy, at this point I expect that I’ll be building the house alone, so no compromise needed.

  223. These arms of mine, they are wanting
    Wanting to derp you
    And if you would let them derp you
    Oh how grateful I will be

  224. I’ll wakey wakey here if I have to.

  225. New brakes today!

  226. brakey brakey

  227. MMM after I feed horses and chickens. Insomnia plus chores = late poat. 830 is likely.

  228. Working during school vacation week is surreal. No shortage of good parking spots in the garage. It makes me wonder, if all these people aren’t here on a vacation week, are they really necessary?

  229. Most jobs aren’t these days.

  230. https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2017/04/17/mmm-270-no-naked-chicks/

    Noo thingy to criticize and talk on.

  231. monday morning mushroom poat http://tinyurl.com/l9ts5f4

  232. Test

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