MMM 267: Moderately Modest Monday

Hola, bienvenido muchachos.  I’m out of the office this morning on a personal errand/work of mercy, and may not be contributing all that much to the conversation until later in the day.

We’re doing something a little different today, because I needed a break from the usual women in tight lycra begging for attention on Instagram.

Here’s a young woman in a pretty blue dress.


And here’s one out watching the horses.


Just got done picking some flowers.


Dat braid, yo.


Hay now, that’s a pretty girl.


A little more Renn-fair-y, but still very feminine.


Not one inch of skin showing.  I’d ask her father if I could court her.


I believe this was a common thing in Ireland upon a time.


Okay, this is a bit more salacious of an image, but still very feminine.  What’s in the oven?


Peelin’ taters.  I’d be home for dinner, I tell ya what.


And that’s all I’ve got for now.  Y’all have a great day, and I’ll be by at some point to check on your progress.


  1. Toss up between RenFair RedHead and the DD-sized spud woman

  2. holy moly leon – actual wimmens

  3. i was gonna help you out with this real good lookin’ specimen:

  4. hey Hey HEY! Stay in your lane.

    Just kidding. I’m fine with motivation in a non-phitness genre.

  5. I said I’d do nothing but sundresses, but this was pretty close.

    I’m in SW MI this morning, working extra remote. Had to drive to Chicago yesterday for a friend who’s dad died suddenly.

  6. If I knew the name of potato girl, she’d be perfect for BBF.

  7. Good morning. Nice picks, Leon.

  8. I like our new theme.

    wakey wakey.

  9. Ithe is much, much harder to find these pictures on the innernetwebtubes.

  10. It is, rather. Stuck on my phone because I didn’t want to pack 3 laptops. 2 was plenty.

  11. My THUMBS are even sore today. From the hook grip on those thrusters.


  12. I hate hook grip. My fingers just aren’t long enough.

  13. Your mom had a hell of a hook grip.

  14. My hook grip is out of commission for a few days. Just saying.

  15. Pupster is getting ornery.
    Not NSFW, but use discretion

  16. I can’t believe how far we’ve fallen. Thank god we didn’t tell Leon about the H4.

  17. It’s raining here too.

    I planted my sugarsnap peas a couple days ago. So this is perrrrfect. Also, Scott set up my rain barrel, so if we have another dry April, I’m good.

    *idiotically smug expression over coffee cup*

  18. These ladies are all quite lovely, Leon!

  19. Rainy Monday in Maine as well. It’s gone from snow to freezing rain to plain rain which is not only preferable but rhymes as well.

  20. Where are the trannies?

  21. In your other browser tab, Hotspur.

  22. So what is the clown show republican party going to do in DC this week?

  23. Just kidding. Good jerb.

  24. The long-haired Ukrainian ginger is my favorite. I’d court her like a screen door in a hurricane, or something.

  25. The one who you would court, Leon, has HUGE HANDS. Man Hands. Hands of Hammer Swinging.

  26. Very nice, Leon. All of those ladies are lovely. And not a tattoo or ab vein to be seen!

  27. What do you guys have against ab veins?

  28. Comment by MJ on March 27, 2017 12:28 pm
    What do you guys have against ab veins?

    Nothing. I respect the hard work of any man to get ab veins.

  29. repoating this from last night.

  30. Ab veins are a scam.

  31. I like big ropy forearm veins on a man. And big hands. Abs, I don’t care about.

  32. […] blog of the day is The H2, with a post on moderately modest […]

  33. I’m sure all Laura is picturing is her angiocath sliding in those big ropy veins and the saline dripping in at 100 mL/hour

  34. Hay and potatoes,
    Mmm, mmmm, good.

  35. I saw it, Alex. It gave me a giggle. I would love to see CA fracture into sane/insane.

  36. Jimbro- tell Paula I finally learned how to do my double unders unbroken TODAY. Not yesterday, when it would have helped- lol

    I’ve managed to do 37 unbroken.

  37. Will do…she’s working tonight and I’m still slaving away. We may cross paths at home before she leaves and she may make me forget



  40. Teh spam bucket hates Jam2 and Notpup.

    Some company in MS sent me a cinder-box sized box with a single tube of lip balm, and a bill for $17. It seems a little sketchy, as I didn’t order any lip balm. They helpfully included a return label with a shipping address, but no account number. Apparently I’m supposed to pay to ship this back. Hmmmm…

    If you get an unexpected package from Kiehl’s from Mississippi, don’t accept it.

  41. I hate to sound like my dad but some of these bands just never learned how to play music. So they got pissed off about it and over amplified and recorded their temper tantrum. And it fucked around and sold a couple of hundred thousand copies.

  42. Google seems to think they are a popular and reputable company. It must be from Mrs. Pupster’s mom. Why put my name on it, though? It’s a 9 dollar fucking single tube of lip balm, plus tax and 7 dollars in shipping.

    Who in the hell pays 17 dollars for a tube of lip balm? Fucking Maestro.

  43. I’ll sell you some lip balm. Just gotta round up your mom.

  44. Who ships product without getting paid first?


    They got my CC # somehow, and my home address apparently. I’ve got fraud protection but faaaaaack…I never used it to pay anything online, had to be from a merchant. How would they get my home address? Capital One got hacked, gotta be. They would be the only ones who have my home address and CC#.

    But on the bright side, free lip balm.

  46. Um. Maybe have a discussion with your wife, and those two young chaps who live with you, just to rule out if they know anything about this? Just a thought. It seems strange that an id thief/ hacker would send you lip balm. Not impossible, but strange.

  47. uffffff, that’s crazy, Pups.

  48. Rule out the usual suspects first.

  49. I thought the Scan & Go app was the reason our CC got hacked. Then we got a letter from Roberts Hawaii. Oops.

  50. Evening Hostages. The hell? Up until the last image I was afraid leon had converted to a mooslimb. I mean, yes, at least these all appear to be actual women.

  51. Card is cancelled. I’m aggravated. Mrs. Pupster just texted me that the lip balm is from her mom. But it’s on my CC transaction statement. She’s fucking crazy. I’ve used this card 3 times in 90 days, at a car shop, and twice at the grocery store. I think my MIL is insane or leet haxxor.

  52. Evening Hostages. The hell? Up until the last image I was afraid leon had converted to a mooslimb. I mean, yes, at least these all appear to be actual women

    Half the fun of Christmas morning is unwrapping the presents.

  53. Just when Pupster thinks his life can’t get any better God says, “oh look, a challenge!”

  54. If they scammed the card swipe, they wouldn’t get the billing address or the code on the back, right? You’d need both of those to make online purchases. Is all that on the chip?

    My MIL buys so much shit she can’t remember half of it, every day is like Christmas. I can see her pulling the trigger on $17 lip balm for Mrs. Pupster, but it is on my CC statement. She’s insane.

    If the charges were Steam or Gamestop I’d know it was an inside jerb. The lip balm could happen I guess, but she’d own it.

    Doubya tee eff.

  55. Half the fun of Christmas morning is unwrapping the presents.

    Yes but at Christmas you’ve already got a decent idea if the unwrapped present is going to be awesome or shitty.

  56. My life is pretty awesome for sure. I’d say I got off pretty lucky so far, I’m only out a couple of bucks for shipping back some lip balm. I shit you not, it is in a 12 x 6 x 6 box with a sheet of bubble wrap.

    Hah. That’s pretty funny right there.

  57. That must be pretty awesome lip balm.

  58. Roamy, Dan put the Mississippi Pot Roast on a bed of carrots and onions this time. I don’t eat cooked carrots. I guess they leached some of the saltiness.


  60. That must be pretty awesome lip balm.

    IK,R? And it’s FREE! You just pay shipping and handling and cancel the card and call fraud protection and review your statement at least once a day, moving your baby soft lips as you read all the fraudulent charges.

  61. I’m on 4 different lip balms right now. Low humidity=Oso’s bloody lip.

  62. Send me your address, your mother’s maiden name, and the last four digits of your SSN and I’ll send you this chapstick, palletized in a gaylord, in a shipping container COD.

    I just found out last week that those open top pallet sized boxes were called gaylords, and I’ve been making people say it every day. It’s like a drinking game.

  63. I need an ingredient list first. KTHXBAI

  64. This is why I frequent this blog

    That, and to moisturize my cracked and bloody lips.

  65. Had another allergic reaction at Popeye’s. Mild. $5 Box meal. Dan already orders mild since my last reaction there. I feel bad about no more Popeye’s.

  66. “Had another allergic reaction at Popeye’s.”

    obviously racist

  67. Okay, which one of you assholes has my lip balm?


    About $9 worth of all that, plus $7 shipping. Plus tax.



    Why not triisostearyl malate?

  70. “Card is cancelled. I’m aggravated. ”
    so i was “get off my lawn” meticulous about not allowing wait-staff to swipe my card at the table pos devices – my cow – orkers and clients got used to my peculiarities with that –

    some douche bag waitress at Olive Garden swiped my damn card anyway –

    no fucking shit, the next week the ccard company called me with questions about charges on my card….

    i went to florida, the opera, sea world, an aquarium, and a whole lot of gasoline charges…. down the east coast –

    weird with me only traveling between ny and massa2shits during that week

    could be coincidence – but i think not

  71. That doesn’t seem very…natural.

    Bag Balm only has 4 ingredients and I bet the 4.5 pound pail can be purchased for about $30

    4-1/2 pounds will moisturize a lot of udders

  72. “Okay, which one of you assholes has my lip balm?”

    your ass umptions have triggered me

  73. i went to florida, the opera, sea world, an aquarium, and a whole lot of gasoline charges…. down the east coast –

    Well, your credit card did, anyway….

  74. Jimbro=My FiL. Bag Balm. His go to. I’m allergic to Lanolin. Nice try, Maine guy

  75. Bag Balm is better in theory than practice. We have a 95% full tin of it on the shelf that’s been there for close to 10 years. Pretty sure it’s still good.

    Only part of my skin that gets dry is my hands and I hate using any kind of lotion on my hands. The new hand sanitizer we use is supposed to be less drying but I really can’t tell. I carry lip balm and use it maybe once or twice a week.

  76. Jimbro , has Lloyds of London insured your hands yet?

  77. As far as I’m concerned, the only thing worth a damn for dry hands is O’Keefe’s Working Hands. I don’t know how I used to survive winter without that stuff.

  78. Watkins Petro Carbo salve. All of my guys use it. I’ve seen it heal cracked bleeding hands in a matter of a weekend.

  79. Jimbro, this stuff is amazing. Check out the reviews

  80. * refresh *

  81. Ha! No Mare, you made me laugh with that one! I do try to be careful when I’m doing stupid shit. Since I’ve cared for so many hand and finger injuries over the years it does give me some insight on what not to do with kitchen knives, chainsaws and snowblowers (and I really only use one of those three tools).

  82. Balm Blog

  83. Balm Blog

  84. Salve? That has to be gay.

  85. I’ve seen the O’Keefe’s at the local hardware store. I’ll give it a try.

    I’ve never seen that salve stuff. Then again, we don’t have a lot of leather and bullwhip emporiums around here to stock it.

  86. You put salve on fishsticks.

  87. You put salve on fish sticks.

    Don’t you put salve on like gangrenous wounds on horses?

  88. I don’t know much about gangrene.
    You should ask your mom.

  89. The reason I do is I asked yours. And of course, MJ’s.

  90. MJ uses salve to maximize fishstick density.

  91. MJ uses salve to maximize fishstick density.

    Yeah, but you lose the crunch.

  92. You know what’s a funny word? Poultice. Nobody uses that word anymore.

    Fuck the poultice.

  93. Fuck the poultice.

  94. Salve is for losers.

    Balm is for winners, and guys named Burt.

    Poultici are for witches and writers trying to capture the true feeling of a recovery scene in a period drama.

    Lotion is for teenagers.

    Oil is for dagos.

    Lube is for when permission is hesitatingly granted.

  95. Where’s my fucking lip balm?

  96. I spilled coffee on my puckin keyboard, so don’t expect much from me until tomorrow afternoon.

  97. Is it black?

  98. If so, I think Mrs Cuffy has it.

  99. Is the muddler okay? Did you get coffee on it, too?

  100. Uurrrrgh. Website finally ready, and our WiFi router just died. 😠 JTFC.

  101. Have you stopped to think that maybe God doesn’t want you to have a website for some reason?

  102. Site looks great Pepe

  103. The knives all look great, too. Do you do most of your own photography?

  104. Should have asked earlier when there were more people around, but has anyone seen The Shack? An AA friend invited me out to see it, and I’m trying to decide if it’ll be worth my while.

  105. Haven’t seen the movie, but I thought the book was pretty poor theology.

  106. It might be one o’clock and it might be three
    Derp don’t mean that much to me
    I haven’t felt this good since I don’t know when
    And I might not feel this good again

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