Weekend H2

Wiserbud Gets a New Co-Host

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New H2 Superhero

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Mare Puts Her Face On

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Pupster Cleans House

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Beasnseses Has a Birthday

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Colex Gets a New Phone

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Pendejo Grande Answers the Doorbell

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Osocat is Tired of Dan’s Cooking

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Mrs. Pupster’s Birthday is Monday

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Apparently Italian was the Wrong Choice

 

284 Comments

  1. I laughed so hard at this, Pups. The one with the dad and the kid on the bike is killing me.

  2. That look on the pigs face…..hahahaha, just nailed it.

  3. http://tinyurl.com/l6warfx

  4. I’m going to use that $100 deal. But I’ll say $10. Those face treatments aren’t going to buy themselves.

  5. wth
    http://tinyurl.com/l6warfx

  6. wth
    http://tinyurl.com/l6warfx
    ——–
    There is no way I want to view a fractured penis. Once you’ve seen one, even in a textbook, you’re good for life. The good news is that a fractured penis is a young man’s injury caused when an unusually turgid organ encounters stiff resistance during acrobatic maneuvers and there’s usually alcohol involved. Pretty sure I’ve eliminated about 95% of the Hostages there.

  7. Challenge: Use the word “turgid” in a sentence

  8. In other organ news I broke down and tried making liver and onions today. I’ve got a few thoughts after this experiment:

    !. Fried onions are really good

    @. The texture of actual liver without being ground up triggered me

    z. My dogs are grateful I read this blog and try new things out even if they don’t work out

  9. No.

  10. I’ve made menu forts before when I was too lazy to hold the multi-page menu up but never in anger.

  11. Important update: 19 days/nights with zero alcohol and Keto diet. My husband said today, “Your face looks nice.” Not eloquent, but it’s shocking he noticed at all. My Lenten sacrifices are good for the skin.

  12. I’ll give you $10 never to speak of liver again.

    And when I say that refer to Pendejo answering the door in this poat.

  13. Mare, save your $10, I’ll do it for free!

  14. The texture…yep.

    Takes me right back to high school science class and the fetal pig.

  15. *high fives Jimbro on the ass*

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  16. Where is beasn? I made her a potato http://tinyurl.com/mbo5yjt

  17. I’ve got a probable illegal at the house doing some sheetrocking for me today. Glad I got to him before ice did.

  18. Here’s a short film of baby Mare trying liver for the first time

    http://tinyurl.com/kts6crl

  19. Ahhhhh, the internet webs are awesome.

  20. https://is.gd/53hAUG

  21. Played Cards Against Humanity last night with a bunch of lib friends. It’s fun to see them read answers like “coat hanger abortions” and “smegma”. Four of the women and two of the men did not know what smegma is.

    Funniest answer of the night “two midgets shitting in a bucket”.

  22. I need to thaw some liver for this week.

  23. Ohio is Ohio.

  24. Yep. Mrs. Pupster and the boys are taking a pilgrimage to OH next month. I’m staying in Southern Canada.

  25. They even obsess over how Trump takes his steak

    http://www.eater.com/2017/2/28/14753248/trump-steak-well-done-ketchup-personality

    In the article they mention that a quarter of all Americans like their steak done well which I found surprising. When I clicked on the article they referenced (on which I just viewed the graphs) it was more like 8%. 10% if you count medium-well.

    Stoopid

  26. Comment by Car in on March 18, 2017 11:49 am
    Ohio is Ohio.

    “Is this… Heaven?”
    “No, it’s Iowa.”
    “Is that… Hell?”
    “No, it’s Ohio.”

  27. Mmmm….well-done steak

  28. Watching Notre Dame lose.

    It never gets old.

  29. Just got back from Mrs. Pupster’s Birthday Brunch, she chose The Original Pancake House.

    https://is.gd/UrrqeL

    Then we took the race-car out for a nice spin around town. Been a good day.

  30. One of the tabs for the Original Pancake House is “What are pancakes?”

    Useful information for potential clients.

    What did you guys get?

  31. Simpatico, Scott.

  32. Okay, I’ll admit it, I absolutely, positively love the Moron Pet thread.

  33. jam2 … never reading another link from you.

  34. Now I want pancakes.

  35. Oooooh yeeeeah……

    wiserbride is out of town on St. Patrick’s Day weekend and ima go WILD!!!!

    So far, the grocery shopping is done, the dishwasher has been loaded and is running and ima about to fold the third load of laundry.

    Then maybe an early dinner and a good night’s sleep……

    I’m so old….

  36. …and boring.

  37. What did you guys get?

    I got eggs, sausage, pancakes. Boy1 got a 4 egg souffle omelet with spinach, green peppers, onions, ham and home fires, Boy2 got the apple pancakes, home-fries with cheese, Mrs. Pupster got the peach crepes and some of my pancakes.

  38. ….and tired…

    Been working on average 12 hours a day for the last 3 weeks, not including reading and research for the show….

  39. dude, 12 hour days lead to high blood pressure, hair loss, and penile fracture – you should back it down to 11 hours and 59 minutes

    the show is good tho
    the hard work shows

  40. When asked to describe H2 in the future, I’m just going to say, “Picture two midgets shitting in a bucket.”

  41. >>>the show is good tho
    the hard work shows

    Thanks. I really appreciate that. Manager is very happy but producer can be a complete dick at times.

  42. Donna Brazile is a cunt – a persecuted lying “christian” cunt – full of smegma – a coat hanger abortion that didn’t work.
    Hotspur Against Humanity.

  43. Hotspur, make us a list of all your cunts. Have this ready to be posted by June 30, 2018. If that’s cutting it too close we can probably negotiate an extension.

  44. Donna? http://tinyurl.com/hf7gfhw

  45. Stick with this all the way to the end…

    youtu.be/JsA3vUb7fpo

    O_o

  46. I’ll just dribble them in one at a time.

    LHF Alert.

  47. *Grabs popcorn*

  48. This was recommended after wiserbud’s recommendation:

  49. I overcooked the chicky chicky for MaryAnn. She seemed fine with it, but Dan added a Little Cesar to her dinner for moisture. She is gazing at him like he’s the greatest thing EVER!

  50. Chuck Berry is dead. I know he was old. Still has sadz.

  51. Not enough.

    https://is.gd/biQiBe

  52. He’s gone to join his cousin Marvin…

  53. Some kid with braces in the Northwestern game probably just became a meme. Don’t cry at games, kid.

  54. My goal in life is to die without becoming an internet meme.

  55. *quietly saves Colex’s POL pic to computer*

  56. My goal used to be not being a fat person in yoga pants in a network obesity story. I’ll settle for not being a meme.

  57. Dan is making meatloaf with just veggies, green chile, and beef. Using “Ingredients” on hand. No Italian sausage blend. No ground pork sausage. Just regular hamburger. Osocat is true!!

  58. So MA gets chicky-chicky with Caeser dressing but you have to make do with meatloaf surprise?

    I guess we know who Dan loves more.

  59. IKR? Meatloaf actually looked yummy. MA is quite the actress. She can gaze adoringly with conviction.

  60. Northwestern got screwed.

    That call was a 4-6 point swing and they lost by 6.

  61. We just had this conversation. Northwestern is a bunch of Illini liberal twats. Fuck em. Gonzaga is a bunch of asshole liberal Catholic lites. Fuck em next round.

  62. True, scott. But if they’d played the first half like they belonged there, it wouldn’t have been as big of an issue.

  63. TL:DR?

    Oso wants to fuck a mess of college hoopsters.

  64. We’ve also had the conversation about how my Mom is a Northwestern alum, oso.

  65. Sean, once again, how are you a conservative?

  66. Sean, once again, how are you a conservative?

    My parents are Illinois Nazis.

  67. Major crush in college was one of the first conservatives I ever knew. His grandmother was a Cal grad. She forged a conservative legacy in NM. Before the cuckoo.

  68. OMG! Dan is an ass. My music is dying because I’m old. His music is intact.,

  69. He’s Eagles, U2, and Heart

  70. The Eagles are shit and Don Henley is a pussy, U2 went off the rails somewhere around “Zooropa,” and Heart has about two good songs.

  71. coolness.

    I interviewed this guy on Thursday.

    http://thefederalist.com/2017/03/17/beginning-end-europe/

  72. Every U2 song sounds the same.
    I fuckin’ hate the Eagles, man…
    Heart had a terminal infarct in the late ’70s…

  73. Oh,
    And for your nightly “Shaggy Dog” story, I give you “Lex” from ’06:

    https://thelexicans.wordpress.com/2017/03/16/its-funny-because-its-true-sorta/#more-20224

  74. Killed it, Sorry…

  75. Dan’s shitty music killed it.

  76. I love the Eagles.

    The Joshua Tree is an incredible album (don’t care for much else of theirs).

    Barracuda is the only Heart song with a shit.

  77. “Magic Man” is also a pretty good tune. In fact, I like it better than “Barracuda.”

    And “The Unforgettable Fire” is a great album.

  78. i saw heart in 87 ish – they sucked

    they were both bad, but one chick was so fucked up she almost fell off the stage

    i was most likely pretty drunk so my memory is foggy, but i think either Georgia Satellites or Brian adams opened for them

  79. don hempley is such a giant nozzle, i can’t stand to listen to them no mo

    #politics has ruined my world

  80. I’ve just come to expect that I completely disagree with the politics of almost all the musicians I enjoy and probably loathe what a lot of them believe in. If I had to stick to acts who agreed with me, I’d be stuck with modern country music, which isn’t my bag.

  81. another person that i have deep admiration for tells me the same thing –

    let it go is the theme

  82. alright sean – at the risk of stepping on your program, i need to deeply evaluate restful positions

  83. Ridin’ along in my automobile
    My baby beside me at the wheel
    I stole a derp at the turn of a mile
    My curiosity runnin’ wild
    Cruisin’ and playin’ the radio
    With no particular place to go

  84. Hotspur’s “Two midgets shitting in a bucket” comment is old school H2 and an instant classic.

  85. guhmmenneh

  86. Looks like a couple more of my overwintered artichoke plants bit the dust. Now I have four.

  87. Ray just doesn’t give a fuck about the right way to compost. Pat is still an asshole.

    http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312010

  88. Star began rattling her crate door at 0330. I tried to ignore her for about 15 minutes until giving in and letting her and the other 4 legged asshole outside. Then we all went back to sleep till nearly 7.

    Morning ritual Part Deux: Outside again while I got their food and water, made coffee and poured myself a cup, let them in and now after they’ve eaten they’re sleeping again.

  89. “They get all rotty. A fly has a baby. Dirt is born.”

    Over zealous composters are funny

  90. Soccer field. 38 overcast and miserable.

  91. You’re a good dog dad, Jimbro.

    Trying to muster for work today. Not feelin’ it.

  92. Dang, Carin. That sucks.

  93. Great line from Chrisp’s link last night

    He said, “The job is yours, but first I got to ask, do you know your fly is open and your Willy is hanging out?”

    I used to read Neptunus Lex every so often back in the day, mostly when other sites linked him. Then I’d read one post after another and wonder why I didn’t stop by there more.

  94. I’ll be selling appliances today. They’ve been putting me there a lot lately. My personal goal is to try to sell multiple dishwashers to the same household. “You can do three loads simultaneously. Imagine the savings in time after a big party.”

    Nobody believes in my ideas. It’s painful.

    I’ve also been working on my boss to motorize those tall rolling ladders and have races in the parking lot. Nada. There has been no effort to implement. These are all wonderful ideas. I work with a bunch of stiffs.

  95. “Yes, we have that Samsung dryer in stock. Fire extinguishers are on aisle fourteen. No, no reason. Just throwing it out there.”

  96. Not normally a big Caturday guy but I’ll admit a few of these are pretty damn clever

    http://mymodernmet.com/katie-ruby-cat-puns/

  97. *places Jimbro on Kill Immediately list*

  98. I imagine selling appliances is a small bit of Hell. People need the new one but they want to kick the tires and know the unknowable: “Will this dishwasher last 20 years?”

  99. * pictures Laura as Furrest Grump *

  100. http://tinyurl.com/kfkbszv

  101. Sometimes you have to make your own fun at work.

    I’m just finishing up next week’s BBF.

    I guess I should go ahead and cue up a Tuesday poat in case we need it.

    Any of you hosefuckers want to take on a Tuesday gig, have at it.

  102. I found a new (to me) band and a song I really like, I hope y’all will give it a listen this Friday.

    I started looking at some of the bands I like, trying to find the common denominators, and it turns out I like spastic-footed bass players.

    Go figure.

  103. I spent a couple of hours last night listening to different groups. It began with Metallica’s Whiskey In The Jar, one of my all time favorites, and ended up with no name rockabilly bands. It’s been a while since I just clicked on mystery bands on YouTube. I blame Mare.

  104. I tried looking up some of the lyrics, I think the lead singer just strings together words that fit the rhythm and sound good, like Steely Dan. Everybody just makes up what they think it means in their own heads.

  105. Check your email Jimbro, I’ve got a youtube rabbit hole for you.

  106. http://tinyurl.com/n8rmpcq

  107. I wonder how those low profile tires do on ice and snow? Looks like not so good.

    Morning Pepe, any new calves yet?

  108. On a similar note to the pic above…..

    Knife collector from Paris flew into Miami for a show. He went motorcycle riding with a friend. Pic #1 Him standing on the motorcycle while going down the road. Pic #2 Him “waiting for an MRI, I had a motorcycle wreck and lost consciousness.” He’s at least mid 40s, and I think he’s a surgeon.

  109. Almost done calving, Pups. A few issues, but pretty good overall.

  110. File this under things I will never understand because I’m a white dude.

    http://www.boredpanda.com/twins-hair-urban-bush-babes-cipriana-tk-quann/

    The fact that they are beautiful women who could be // are models instantly makes me have less sympathy for their plight. Looking for oppression everywhere must be tiring.

  111. Need a tailgate grill? http://tinyurl.com/mjgwlhg

  112. and http://tinyurl.com/n5d5q6y

  113. I don’t want to complain, but I’m gonna.

    Wednesday- all day at MSU then straight to work.

    Thursday -MRI with Ethan

    Friday – all day at hospital with Ian, home at 7 then driving to Ohio- got in at 12:20 am.

    Weekend with two 15 y/o boys. They have now made it to the championship game ( of course my son can’t play with his knee so it’s super fun and he’s grumpy.). Game is st 2:30 so dreams of me being home by even 9 pm are fading fast.

    Tomorrow morning I have to have Oschi to MSU by 10:30 . And I work.

  114. If you had a tailgate grill you could be cooking chicken.

  115. Good whoreface.

    I really hope the Fightin’ Bottle Washers beat the Golden Frogs.

  116. Kid Rock will sell 1 trillion of those grills at Wal Mart.

  117. Looking for oppression everywhere must be tiring.

    Word.

    I’m glad that my life is awesome and I’m the luckiest man alive.

    #pupsterprivilege

  118. You forgot this one

    https://www.americanbadassgrill.com/index

    I’ve got a Weber L’il Smoky grill I bought at a yard sale almost 20 years ago that serves my portable grilling needs. I’d think about getting this if I needed one.

  119. Oh, FFS, those twins are gorgeous supermodels.

    EVERY FRICKEN PERSON IN THIS COUNTRY, has been teased/bullied/hounded about something.

    My husband was called “bent ear” and I’ve looked st his ears everyday for 32 years and still don’t know why.

    I can’t remember what I was teased about, could be several things, big thighs, big boobs in eighth grade (comparatively), buck teeth, everyone had something. I just didn’t carry my angst into adulthood.

  120. How is his knee feeling? Is it still swollen and painful? Can he run on it and do normal stuff like go up and down stairs without a problem?

  121. My Dad also made the point several times to all his kids, if you’re going to be sensitive and humorless your life will be miserable.

  122. Yep. He’s gonna sell a bunch of them http://tinyurl.com/lq48wmu

  123. Upstairs zone control on the heat went tits up a few days ago, it just stays stuck wide open. Furnace guy was here this morning and identified the problem, but since it’s a water control motor/valve it’s a job for a plumber not HVAC. I hot-wired it so it is controlled by the downstairs thermostat. We have heat but only one zone/working thermostat for 3 floors. Plumber will probably say it’s a job for an electrician.

    At least I never have to leave my house.

  124. My dad, who I’ve been thinking about a lot the past few days because my mom was missing him around St. Patty’s Day, never really imparted words of wisdom through conversations with us kids. He was more of a lead by example guy. I think we were relatively well behaved kids because he was pretty vocal with my peers as the longtime Scoutmaster for our troop.

  125. He’s gonna sell a bunch of them

    I beg to differ.

    https://is.gd/Jc51Bj

    It costs 3 times as much.

    https://is.gd/ooY2IW

  126. * puts $5 on Taco zone valve *

    Probably the most shoplifted item in home improvement stores.

  127. I would buy it.

    – it looks to have a bigger cooking area
    – it’s made in America
    – it says BADASS right on it

  128. Thisaone:

    https://is.gd/Xp4g6X

    If there are tacos involved I’m listening.

  129. Plus I like his marketing.

    * waits for Badass Car Co *

    * pictures exploding Hyundai *

  130. front and back bumpers will be giant steel eagles.

  131. It hurts tiday because he tried it out on Thursday and it was a fail. But he hadn’t been feeling any pain. Hopefully MRI results come in tomorrow.

  132. Did I tell you guys I got Tool tickets? Only lawn, but it sold out in 4 minutes.

  133. The video of one strapped to the back of a Harley was the money shot.

  134. Carin, be sure and tell Maynard that e-music is the future and he should hurry his ass up and release some stuff on Spotify. He’ll appreciate the tip I’m sure.

  135. I’ve successfully performed transplant surgery on 2 snow shovels. One had a broken scoop and the other a broken handle. Now the intact handle resides on the intact scoop and the broken parts await their disposal in a landfill where the wooden parts will decompose and the plastic parts will spend close to eternity wondering how, if they hadn’t broken, they’d be on the surface conquering freshly fallen snow rather than resting next to rusting pieces of old Weber grills discarded by people who ran out and bought Badass grills.

  136. http://mtwaldoplastics.com/

    The handle that broke was on the pink one. Frankfort is just down the road from me and I can see Mt Waldo out the window. Really have no idea where the factory is since Frankfort is a blink and you miss it kind of town.

  137. Grilled chicken playoffs!

    Weber gas w/wood pellets is taking on the Big Green Egg today.

    The winner takes on the PBC.

    Science!

  138. Big Chicken Boob Playoffs

  139. Will do Pepe.

  140. I made breakfast burritos. The kitchen looks like a disaster area. I don’t want to clean.

    https://is.gd/S3kXh6

  141. https://is.gd/6kVYtF

  142. https://is.gd/F7sM3S

  143. https://is.gd/JsUYE6

  144. https://is.gd/EWfnGN

  145. https://is.gd/nJnwwO

    *goes to do dishes*

  146. Didn’t this crew used to do an artsy fartsy tuesday?

  147. sorry … i thought that would just link without embedding. … i shall endeavour to tiny.url it next time.

  148. Not enough skulls.

    I forgot to mention, I fished Jam2, Terrible Troy, and Simon out of the spam bucket today, I marked your comments not spam and approved them, I don’t know why wordpress was being bitchy but you can email me at pupstersez at gstring dot comma if you start landing in the bucket, I’ll get you out. WordPress is supposed to learn to tune the spam filter. I didn’t see anything in your comments that would have triggered the spam-wire.

  149. They’ve probably never made ‘your mom’ comments.

    That’ll get you in the spam bucket. It’s not Hostage-like.

  150. Cool, Simon.

  151. Mare!

    https://is.gd/6RL1OF

  152. Making stuffed cabbage rolls. It’s been an adventure. I don’t seem to recall my mom struggling like I did.

  153. wow … is that a string of Christmas lights rick rolling someone?

    bastages.

  154. Tripped the breaker or whatever you call that button on the bottom of the garbage disposer that keeps the motor from burning out when you put too much in all at once. While fisting the disposer for 15 minutes to remove all the scraps I remembered the little button that I manage to trip every 4 or 5 years. Success!

  155. That Nessie nose on the counter video made me glad Rowan is a medium size dog. Ho Lee Shit, he’d be cruising the counter top for food until he needed a gastric bypass.

  156. Your slobber is below knee level.

  157. A broom-handle end counter-clockwise against the disposal motor is a good strategy too.

    My last two (rental) houses haven’t had a garbage disposal so I’ve learned to scrape scrape scrape before doing dishes.

  158. I’ve never had a garbage disposal.

    That stuff always went in a compost pile or a dog bowl.

  159. Do jam buster wrenches work?

  160. They do. That’s for use when you can hear the motor trying to turn but not making progress. Usually you know you messed up because of all the crap you loaded it with. We’ve got one under the sink on a little ledge in there. At camp we don’t have a garbage disposal and fish the food scraps out of the little drain trap after rinsing dishes. There’s a dishwasher up there that we use for holding big plastic food storage containers.

  161. I use our dishwasher here when the sink is piled high and Paula’s been working a couple of days in a row. The kids generate an absurd amount of dirty dishes. Boy 2 likes to make hash browns and creates a tremendous mess. Getting him or his older brother to do dishes properly just takes too much effort. I make them load the dishwasher once in a while and let’s just say, they wouldn’t make it past the first level of Tetris.

  162. 1. Make America Great Again
    2. Shiftless crackers get jobs back
    3. Formerly shiftless crackers buy bad ass grill with job money
    4. Profit!

  163. Gas grill with pellet smoke won the chicken contest.

  164. https://is.gd/___for___OsoLoco

  165. We have a disposal, but we also have a septic system. I tell HotBride, “Never put stuff down the drain that can go into the garbage bin. It’s unnecessary strain on the system.”

  166. https://is.gd/_also_for__Osoloco

  167. Fuck Rutgers for backing down.

    The dress code was “no blue suits” so don’t show up wearing a fucking blue suit. It’s simple as that. These students are idiots who can’t even follow basic instructions. Also, if they want to be angry, be angry at their fellow students who no doubt caused a need for this rule. Little wannabe lawyers decide to argue every fucking word of a rule just because they want to be cheap or “fashionable” and not wear proper business attire.

  168. We benefit when Pups isn’t working.

  169. Mare! https://is.gd/678022

  170. Not sure why they felt the need to establish a dress code. They should be able to figure that out on their own and if they get it wrong they get some good feedback for the future.

  171. I didn’t own a suit when I was that age. I had a brown plaid sport coat to wear with my khakis. I probably had some cordoban colored slip on loafers. They’d have probably thrown me out of their job fair.

  172. I also had a mint green suede leather sport coat that my mom got my formy dad at a close out sale for like $20. He wouldn’t wear it for obvious reasons so I inherited it. I rarely wore it cause I didn’t have a matching pimp hat and jeweled walking stick to go with it.

  173. This was at Rutgers? They should have gratefully accepted anybody who didn’t show up looking like this:

    http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m118/sayeath/Mannequin_071708_62.jpg

  174. “matching pimp hat and jeweled walking stick to go with it.”

    where’s Cyn? she introduced some of us to:

    http://tinyurl.com/ado3gkl

  175. When guys get their eyebrows done up like a lady’s, I wonder WTF are they thinking.

  176. pup can you pull that one out too?
    prease

    i think i know what’s going on

  177. So MJ got the keys to AOSHQ?

    There goes the neighborhood.

  178. When guys get their eyebrows done up like a lady’s, I wonder WTF are they thinking.

    “Gosh, I hope I don’t get any cum in my eyebrows. Again.”

  179. Lol, Sean.

  180. Brown shoes with a blue suit? I’m outrageously outraged.

  181. L to R: Pendejo, some dude with a watch in his pocket

    https://is.gd/c7njEh

  182. PG won The Masters?

  183. Evening Hostages. Sooooo….I signed a shitload of paperwork today and the process of building a new home has truly begun. Shit. Where’s the booze?

  184. Congrats!

  185. Good Luck, Bcock. Building a home will destroy the last vestiges of your belief in the brotherhood of man.

    *raises glass*

  186. Yes, congrats. Your new home should be done in 3-4 years if the weather holds.

  187. I had belief in other people?

    *looks around in bewilderment*

  188. Hola, bishes.

  189. I was this close >.< to needing a new appliance today lauraw. Luckily the Reset Button on my garbage disposal worked better than Hillary's did

  190. Yes, congrats. Your new home should be done in 3-4 years if the weather holds.

    Lmao. Contract says that no matter what, acts of God/war/terrorism/material shortages/etc, they have 24 months to complete the house.

    So yeah, 3 to 4 years.

  191. Congratulations, bcock. Here’s hoping your house isn’t swallowed up by a sinkhole when the cocaine the foundation is made of melts after a hurricane.

    #Florida

  192. There’s actually a clause in the contract covering sinkholes.

  193. Curses, foiled again!!

    It was a good day. Didn’t sell much, but it wasn’t that busy. Did have an interesting moment in the morning. Fella with a heavy accent called, sounded like he was a million miles away, hard to hear or understand him. He wanted to do a phone transaction to have a $3k fridge delivered to a local address the next day. When we put his phone # in the sys, a message came up saying “FRAUD,” ha ha ha ha.

    At that point, head cashier took over and I was informed shortly that there would be no sale. Seemed kind of racist, if you ask me.

  194. They can use the sinking hole loophole.

  195. With a little help from our friends, we put this place together in a couple months…

  196. That’s no sinkhole, it’s a plummethole, or possibly a plungehole.

  197. Had this discussion with my friend at work: If women could spontaneously grow a penis, would it be worse if they could only grow a great big one, or a small sad one?

    I forgot all about this conversation from two days ago, but looking at BCoch’s picture reminded me.

  198. Do they cover cake holes?

  199. The fuck, laura???

  200. Evening Hostages. Sooooo….I signed a shitload of paperwork today and the process of building a new home has truly begun. Shit. Where’s the booze?

    Congratulations. Shall we call you Mr. Blandings from now on?

  201. [i]Congratulations. Shall we call you Mr. Blandings from now on?[/i]

    Is that better or worse than Walter Fielding?

  202. The fuck, laura???

    hahahahahahaaaa, just in a perverse mood and messing with you for no reason. So, that was fun.

    *sighs happily*

  203. hahahahahahaaaa, just in a perverse mood and messing with you for no reason. So, that was fun.
    *sighs happily*

    Dammit. Damn you and your glorious hump.

  204. I figured she was referring to the bulbous mirror on your head.

  205. BitchCock, can I interest you in a brand-new Samsung IED washing machine for your new home? Comes with a free bag of marshmallows and some well-forked long twigs. Your kids will LOVE doing laundry, with the Samsung Inferno-Kleen™!

  206. Oh man, I hadn’t noticed that he did the halo thing in the photo. Hilarious.

  207. I pure hate you people. But I just can’t quit you.

    Like DiT with Wiser. But less gay.

  208. Starting to have remorse about picking on you out of the blue. You have to be an asshole to me and make it all better. Please.

  209. The b stands for bulbous.

  210. Heh. Nope. I’m gonna hang on to this one.

  211. https://is.gd/nyfYCF

  212. Is that better or worse than Walter Fielding?

    You’ve never seen Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House?

    *shakes head*

    My dad loves that movie. It’s basically an earlier version of The Money Pit.

  213. You’ve never seen Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House?
    *shakes head*
    My dad loves that movie. It’s basically an earlier version of The Money Pit.

    I have not, in fact, seen a movie from 1948.

  214. For Bcoch:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLLQquBdU8M

  215. For Bcoch:

    Such a great movie.

  216. It’s nice that naiveté and optimism still exist. You go Bcochran. Good luck as you traverse the dark inner workings of modern America’s house building machines, of which I am currently a tangential part.

    I would say, in the spirit of the times, “May the road rise to meet you” but the road rises to meet both travelers and drunks passing out for the first time with different results.

  217. >> For Bcoch:

    What ever happened to Diane?

  218. Naivete´. Lol.

  219. Goddammit.

    testing this bitzch



  220. I have not, in fact, seen a movie from 1948.

    *******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr. Blanding’s house gets rabies and he has to build a barn in front of it so he can shoot it.

  221. Mr. Blanding’s house gets rabies and he has to build a barn in front of it so he can shoot it.

    Well now I have to watch. As a Conservative I apparently am all about needless suffering and killing things.

  222. *******SPOILER ALERT*******
    Mr. Blanding’s house gets rabies and he has to build a barn in front of it so he can shoot it.

    *******SPOILER ALERT********
    Jesus dies at the end.

  223. *******SPOILER ALERT*******
    Mr. Blanding’s house gets rabies and he has to build a barn in front of it so he can shoot it.

    *******SPOILER ALERT********
    Jesus dies at the end.

    ********SPOILER ALERT*******
    Your mom does them all.

  224. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House is Kaiser Soze.

  225. *******SPOILER ALERT*******

    the contractor has been dead the entire time

  226. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House was dead the whole time.

  227. What ever happened to Diane?

    *******SPOILER ALERT*******

    She got rabies and they shot her.

  228. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blandings was the name of the sled the house had when it was a kid.

  229. Goddmmit Wiserbud!

    *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House Killed Dumbledoor

  230. *****SPOILER ALERT******
    One of the hyper-intelligent sharks eats Mrs. Blandings right when the latter is in the middle of an inspirational speech to the survivors.

  231. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House knew it was Fredo, and he broke his heart.

  232. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr. Blandings’ House escapes from prison after spending years constructing an elaborate escape plan and stealing the corrupt warden’s fortune.

  233. *******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr. Blanding’s house was both his daughter’s and his sister’s

  234. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House didn’t shoot Liberty Valance

  235. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House doesn’t exist. It’s all virtual reality.

  236. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    The house is finally defeated when it catches the common cold.

  237. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s house was Luke’s father

  238. *******SPOILER ALERT*******

    YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW UP MR. BLANDING’S HOUSE!

    DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!

  239. *******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr. Blanding’s house is people!!!

  240. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blandings goes in the backyard, sees the ruins of the Statue of Liberty, and realizes that the house was on Earth all along.

  241. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr Blanding’s House is why we have Trump

  242. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House didn’t kill his wife, but Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t care.

  243. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mrs. Blanding’s head is in the box

  244. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blandings’ mother was the communist handler who brainwashed him to assasinate President House.

  245. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House realizes and repents of its White Privilege through its interaction with its backyard garden shed

  246. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    The greatest trick Mr. Blanding ever pulled was convincing the world his house did not exist

  247. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    You never actually see the Blandings Witch. The movie just fades to black on a shot of the house standing in the corner.

  248. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House is actually the Hotel California

  249. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House is calling from inside the house.

  250. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House and Michael Caine are lovers…

  251. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House is coming, and hell’s coming with it.

  252. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up.

  253. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    The camera pans in and we see a photo on the wall of Mr. Blandings at the house’s 4th of July party from…1921.

  254. You fuckers are too far off on he chain tonight.

  255. ******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr Blanding’s House is actually in the woods in present day

  256. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blanding’s House keeps spinning…….

    or does it……

  257. ******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr Blanding’s House is actually a guy.

  258. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House is picked up by a tornado and lands on the wicked witch.

  259. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    When the house finally gets to talk to one of the aliens, it just takes the form of Mr. Blandings. So lame.

  260. ******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr Blanding’s House is actually his own alter ego, and has carefully planned the destruction of the US financial industry.

  261. *******SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House still knows what you did last summer

  262. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blandings’ House is all out of bubblegum.

  263. ******SPOILER ALERT*******

    Mr Blanding’s House is her sister, she’s her daughter, she’s her sister, she’s her daughter.

  264. *****SPOILER ALERT*****

    Mr. Blandings has been dead for years, and the house has been dressing up like him and murdering people who stay at their hotel.

  265. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blandings House never opens the package

  266. Nerts – screwed up the Chinatown quote, so I had to go back and fix it.

  267. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr. Blanding’s house gave Marvin’s cousin that sound he was looking for….

  268. ******SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr. Blandings’ House does not, in fact, do all of Dallas.

  269. ******SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr. Blandings’ House dies, the girl dies, everybody dies.

  270. As I was loading the coffee maker tonight, I looked at the measuring-spoon. It is a white plastic spoon that came with our first “Mr. Coffee”, 47 years ago. We use that cheap little piece of plastic every day for 47+ years, so far, and yet, it persists…

  271. That’s actually pretty cool, Crispy. You should throw the spoon a party for its fiftieth anniversary.

  272. Mr. Blandings’ House is finally defeated by its lack of immunity to Earth diseases.

  273. I freaking love you guys!!!

  274. Dale’s engine really purrs.

  275. huh-
    cameos by xb and jewstin:
    http://bit.ly/1oYSr6r

  276. *****SPOILER ALERT******

    Mr Blanding’s House kidnapped itself, man.

  277. MMM at about 7am.


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