H2 Membership Drive

We’re in the middle of our annual membership drive here at the Hostages and so far it’s been a big disappointment. “Big disappointment”. Those are words most hostages have heard directed at them, mostly as kids, and with a few rare exceptions, not as adults. Now we get to direct that phrase at others. And by others I mean politicians. And the guy who sold you the “Herbal Viagra” behind the Quik E Mart. That shit’s like Russian Roulette…it’s either Limp Bizkit or you’re calling your doctor after 4 hours which is really closer to 6 or 7 because you really weren’t sure exactly when you took it and really weren’t keeping track of elapsed time until you couldn’t buckle your seatbelt in the car and you really didn’t want to all the doctor and, oh Lord, Why am I such a big disappointment? Join us next month for our pledge drive. We’ve got some really handy tote bags* that are a way for you to show your support for the Hostages in a practical, yet not ostentatious way.

*Tote bags only available at the Platinum Pledge Level

For better or worse, we’ve all known a super freak.

L to R: Trump, The Left (Where do I get myself a mask like that?)

screen-shot-2014-09-04-at-2-28-16-pm

Derp

19

Panhandling dog

dq7xgms

Classic art

funny-dog-gifs-painting

How cold was it last weekend? This cold

funny-gif-freezing-steve-martin-dog

Week is winding down. Good, I’m ready for it to be over.

 

 

 

132 Comments

  1. That morning when Jimbro prescribed himself cocaine.

  2. Always forget to add a few categories.

    Dicking bimbos is always a good one to give homage to our commander in chief

  3. *opens tote bag*

    Oh look! A mysterious white powder!

  4. https://is.gd/IoqQZT

  5. I like that Thor picture.

  6. heh, like someone would pay to be here

  7. http://wgme.com/news/local/dancer-steals-the-show-at-portland-city-council-meeting

    Insanity masquerading as art

  8. Shh Jay! FFS, if we are ever going to hit the big time we need more money! The last 9 grant applications were rejected. You’d think Soros’ people wouldn’t actually research the sites asking them for money but apparently they do.

  9. I like to mix my Thors up MareJ

  10. I saw a fox in the yard this morning. I think it bedded down in the pig pen.

  11. I like pie.

  12. Hiya Charlie.

  13. What kinda pie? I’m partial to shoo fly.

  14. Pretty interesting article on why all the blue states should stop doing anything as a country and focus exclusively on ‘their’ territory. It’s long so I’ll sum up: you red state racists are lazy and take money from blue states and are racist. Did I mention racist? You’re a racist and you’d be nothing without me, racist. Blue states rule, red states drool. Racist.

    https://is.gd/PRNEqX

    Here is my response:

    https://is.gd/ytWjtL

  15. wakey wakey

  16. Trump presidency results in a Federalist Renaissance.

    This is me: https://is.gd/buAkOM

  17. I have way too much to do today. i’d best get started.

    *cries

  18. I have a ton to do and may not get to do it. I’m debating just ordering my grow-box supplies to save the hassle of going shopping.

  19. Insanity masquerading as art

    Wandering around aimlessly masquerading as dance.

  20. I find it hard to believe Trump wants to lose a great deal of his base with this POS insurance bill.

  21. Rib day!

  22. There should be Whovians running the phone banks. You’re doing this all wrong.

  23. PBC ribs, mmmmmmmmmm

  24. Ordered bins and lamps. Finding the bulbs I want on Amazon is a fool’s gambit. Going to have to shop locally for those, as well as solo cups and seed starter mix.

  25. What are you starting?

  26. Peppers and basil, probably Monday morning.

  27. I might just have to dip into my stock of 75W incandescents. I don’t want to do it, but getting heat and light from the same lamp is illegal until something changes, and I need the heat for these.

  28. Last time I went to HD for light bulbs I had to ask for help.

  29. That stupid regulation basically obliterated the market. You can’t even find real incandescents on the shelves anymore at the legal levels. I can build a 4-way lamp base and use 25Ws, but there aren’t any.

  30. For some reason Mrs. Pendejo turned on MSNBC last night while I was getting ready for bed and was watching Rachel Madcow. Holy shit. I mean…..HOLY SHIT!! I can’t imagine that Tokyo Rose spoke of Roosevelt or MacArthur with any less contempt than what that scrunt heaps upon Republicans. She’s off the chain.

  31. She has a severe vitamin D deficiency. That’s known to cause madness.

  32. Leon, search for rough service light bulbs.

  33. Can we ban lauraw?

  34. *throws a chicken at Carin*

    *no note*

  35. It’s amazing how much food you can fit in the PBC.

  36. I can’t remember, are BBQ comments wiser approved? Or do they fall in with fitness and gardening?

  37. It’s amazing how much PBC food you can fit in my belly.

  38. I did that, Scott. Slim pickings and pricy.

  39. @LeonCaruthers – You need to go somewhere that sells “rough service” lamps. Those are exempt from the Kenyan Usurper’s Incandescent Lamp ban. There’s good and bad with those, though: The good is that they’ll last a LONG time in normal service. The bad is that they cost about 4x what incans should cost.

  40. That’s the plan, I’m just going to shop them at my hardware store instead of Amazon.

  41. And as much as I want to blame 0, this was signed into law by W at the behest of General Electric.

  42. That’s what I use in my block heater.

  43. *throws a chicken at Carin*

    *no note*

    THIS IS BULLSHIT

  44. Your mom likes “rough service”.

  45. Found some for $1.20/bulb.

    Such bullshit.

  46. in demand = not cheap

  47. in demand = not cheap

    =========

    and yet, your mom…………..

  48. Jay, the non “rough-service” version of these cost about 5c to manufacture, that’s why GE had them outlawed.

  49. THIS IS BULLSHIT

    Ha ha ha hahaaa! OK, I lied, there’s a note. Look inside the vent.

  50. Vent notes = encrypted chicken messaging.

  51. heh, like someone would pay to be here

    And yet some have paid for being here.

    Not the same thing, but there is still a cost.

  52. Mare is fer realz. :)

  53. Government creates wealth.

  54. And drop dead gorgeous.

  55. Hotspur, I have carpet over pine treads on my stair. The treads have a good bullnose etc, and don’t look crude.
    I want to get rid of the carpet. Is it possible to sand and polish the pine treads, or should I spend the $$ and get either oak treads, or some kind of oak overlay on top of the existing pine treads?

  56. I have pine treads in my house with all oak floors. I think it looks great.

  57. Ha! Liar. Seriously though, you’re a good one! And now I get all those awesome things H2ers say about Hotbride. She is charming and genuine. Your friends were excellent too! Thanks for getting us together, Hotspur.

  58. I have seen pine floors.

    They probably require a lot of poly, or epoxy.

  59. I will post a photo to prove it when I get home on Monday.

  60. I quote Groucho … I don’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

    That seems applicable.

  61. These guys are all wearing a specific type of pussyhat called “their fucking faces.”

    Hahahaha. That was great. Hahahaha.

  62. This is how windy it is today http://tinyurl.com/gv8eu48

  63. Scot, I am thinking of cleaning, sanding, gel stain and a heavy top coat of poly.

  64. Ace had some good zingers today.

  65. Government creates wealth.

    …for Government.

  66. High trust cultures that respect private property create wealth. Government is an afterthought.

  67. Sanding stairs will be as much fun as pulling carpet tack.

  68. Amusingly, a lot of hipsters in the “local food” movement are getting “woke” because they come into direct conflict with some meddlesome piece of government apparatus. In Canada for instance, you can’t have unpaid interns. So if your “urban farm” takes on free labor with the express purpose of them learning the trade while doing the job for no geld, you’ve violated the law, even though every part of that was voluntary. If they pay you as though it were a class, that’s okay, but then you have to pay taxes on that income, and the compliance costs alone for that make it not worth it to do.

  69. I’m still struggling with how the same people who correctly understand that government funding of higher education was a primary driver of the ballooning higher education costs can look me in the eye and tell me that government funding of “health care” through refundable tax credits will lead to lower costs.

  70. >>Sanding stairs will be as much fun as pulling carpet tack.

    Scott,
    I believe in buying a tool if I can avoid hiring a guy.

    Home Despot sells a handheld belt sander for $50, and a random orbital one for $30 or so. Between these two, it should be quick work.

    – famous last words

  71. Cognitive dissonance is a minimal job requirement in gubmint, BiW.

  72. I believe in hiring a guy if I don’t want to maintain the tool or have it take up space.

  73. Yesterday michigan had RECORD sustained winds. it was over 40 MPH for 10 hours with frequent 60 mph gusts and a few recorded 80+

  74. It was really bad here. Power went out in town.

  75. I’ve had a similar experience with the glass door down the local gas station.

  76. I predict that in the near future Tushar is going to get his ass kicked by his wife for getting sawdust all over “stuff.”

  77. TT, she has agreed to help me. I will be sanding, and she will be vacuuming it right away.

  78. I have to pull carpet from the stairs. I put laminate flooring down, and I want to match the stairs. Should I put flooring on the stairs, or replace the stairs with oak (match the flooring).

  79. I have sanders, so i don’t need a guy.

  80. Heh, Losers, it’s 75 and beautiful here.

  81. Do you know ahead of time that there’s a stain that will match your laminate finish?

  82. Time for a chicken toss

  83. Jay, it is not easy to get a stain color that matches your laminates exactly. I prefer to go the contrast route. If laminate is light, make the stairs a darker brown or reddish. If the laminate is dark, try a lighter shade on stairs.

    Sometimes, a stark contrast is a beter idea than something that does not match perfectly.

  84. Also, how the color stain will look is a function of wood species and age. A laminate can look like anything, but achieving a match with your existing species of wood will be nearly impossible. Don’t even try.

  85. My current favorite color pallet is shades of light to dark gray wood tones.

  86. *palette. There is supposed to be an e there

  87. Cold snap here for the next 10 days at least. Maple sap harvest time again.

  88. So, you would go with replacing stairs? i can get the laminate flooring, to go on the stairs. Would just increase the thickness.

  89. Surely I can get close. Or should I go with a totally different color, and not even try?

  90. I see that comment now, Tushar. Sorry!

  91. jimbro, chicken blood will not match my flooring, even after it dries. Plus Elliot would try and lick it all up.

  92. Jay, don’t put laminate on stairs. A, it is not sturdy enough to withstand the daily use, and B, putting a laminate bullnose on stairs is a recipe for disasters and accidents.

  93. The chicken was aimed at Good Weather Mare’s front window!

  94. I don’t like how the bullnose looks, either. Isn’t there one that is flush?

  95. Bullnose is not just for looking good. It is there to minimize injury to toes, spines and noggins.

  96. Had to take Penelope to the dentist yesterday. Evidently it was meandering seniors day at Costco. MOVE IT, GRANDPA!!!!

    In political news, I saw some kind of hybrid vehicle with a “She Persisted” bumper sticker, plus a bonus bumper sticker that had “Fake President” written on a piece of notebook paper in magic marker and laminated with Scotch tape. Classy.

  97. Need to perfect your clearout move. Put on a Lebron jersey, and you can say you were just into the game.

  98. This seems like the right audience for this:

    https://bullshit.ist/the-new-creativity-our-spectacular-ass-pants-9190ca3a13d#.f3w8lhmdn

  99. Pleated skirts can’t come back fast enough.

  100. I say this as an ass man, an avowed and admitted admirer of hineys and robust hindquarters alike:

    I’m over it. Please put some damned clothes on, womenfolk.

  101. Hey now, a pencil skirt tight over a well formed ass is a thing of beauty. Even better than yoga pants.

  102. tut tut

  103. Well yeah, agreed, but I like how pleats swing.

  104. Pleats are good if the skirt is short enough that you get a peak of the tops of her thigh-highs whenever she leans forward.

  105. You guys are sexist pigs.

  106. I am not a pig. I was born in the year of the rabbit.

  107. OK, last one. https://ctbrc.wordpress.com/2017/03/09/beef/

  108. Yes you are.

  109. Really? Because I’m pretty sure Hotspur told me I was a vegetable.

  110. I thought he said fruit.

  111. I’m jealous of the W’s meat sweats.

  112. I gave your mom a nut.

  113. I gave your mom meat sweats

  114. Mmmm…Ribs….

  115. I’m really H8N judges and defense attys right now.

  116. Dan is really upsetting me right now.

  117. @ObamaMalik
    TFGs half brother (wearing a MAGA hat) has posted TFGs Kenyan birth certificate on twitter.

    HA HA

    /Nelson

  118. MJ, is it because he is making ribeyes with mushrooms tonight with salad? No bread. No starch?

  119. Bread is for closers.

  120. last week:

    3 days of morning news duty, combined with 5 days of regular show.

    This week:

    5 days of regular gig and then 5 nights of basketball

    Both weeks:

    Additional required hours at music store as bookkeeper…

    Next week:

    More Bball games, including possible finals next weekend, both Saturday and Sunday.

    following Monday:

    best of wiserbud, while I recover.

  121. Suck it up, buttercup too tired to make Cheyenne🎶🎶🎶🎶

  122. I was so young when I was born
    My eyes could not yet see
    And by the time of my first derp
    Somebody holding me . . .

  123. That sounds brutal, Wiserbud. Hope you don’t burn out.

  124. My school waits until I’m almost ready to leave the house (6am clinicals) to declare a snow cancellation.
    Oh well, at least I’m not driving right now.

  125. Back to bed!

  126. Almost ready to go back to sleep. Not quite there yet.

    ok, now is good

  127. Bewbs.


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