Tuesday Placeholder Poat

Jimbro Motivates the Masses

Dancat Wants to Watch CNN

Alex Has Relationship Goals

CARincat Would Like to Speak to You About the Charging Cords

Pendejo is Getting Raptured and Shit

Mare Doesn’t Like Saying the Same Thing Twice

Wiserbud Tones it Down

Phatdog Comes Back from Europe

Pupster Fulfills the Prophecy

Minime Tells Roamiedog About Gym Class

Osodog Spots for the Forklift

 

205 Comments

  1. *adjusts horizontal*

    *steps back*

    *adjusts vertical*

    *steps back, nods*

  2. 2 Cattle dogs in the swimming pool.

    *sniffles*

    I miss my red girl.

  3. Tell me if I’m crazy.

    Obama is messing with Trump through surrogates. Of course.

    So, Trump’s wiretapping claim = “I am in here now, I am finding things, I see you. Cut the crap.”

    CNN remote surveillance of Oval office meeting = “Yeah? Guess what, I see you too. And the back of your daughter’s head.”

    I desperately need people to tell me this is not the sort of thing that actually goes on and that I am crazy.

  4. I bet “Pound Harder” will be fun in the nursing home some day.

  5. Laura, I don’t know how good the news agencies bugs are, but the state-level enemies of this nation are often at that level, and sometimes sell what they know.

  6. Obama/Jarrett/Et al, are a nasty, bitter, insecure, America Hating group of individuals.

  7. Imagine if you’re Trump and you read your exact Oval Office conversation in the newspaper or on a website.

  8. Could someone explain the CNN surveillance? I thought the White House/Oval Office was swept for electronic bugs daily? Although that sounds like I’m thinking about decades old equipment which of course I am.

  9. It ain’t beanbag, and you are not crazy LW. I expect no quarter from these seditious fucks, I hope PDT is taking names and getting ready to kick ass.

  10. Trump needs to pare down to an extreme minimum anyone in his circle and at the White House. But he will be excoriated by the press for becoming isolated…but he has to if he wants the leaks to stop.

  11. Imagine if you’re Trump and you read your exact Oval Office conversation in the newspaper or on a website.

    ——-

    This actually happened????? Horrible. I missed this somehow.

  12. Knowing the stakes of everything he says or tweets, he must have some evidence to back it up. At this point I don’t know who to believe which I think is deliberate

  13. Mare, sometimes I think they’re staying in town because they’re trying to protect a criminal enterprise in the government and can’t do a lot of it over email. Not just to be a pain in the ass to Trump, or concerns over legacy, but because there’s something else at stake. Sometimes I think this. Sometimes I get weird like that. Don’t judge me.

    You’re judging, aren’t you? Dammit.

  14. OK, it’s Test Tuesday. I’m off to school. Stimyoulater.

  15. No judging, Lauraw. My mantra with regard to political types is always, ALWAYS, FOLLOW THE MONEY.

  16. Wakey wakey.

    “You get zumba beads by showing off your snatch and your fran. Keep up.”

    You guys may want to question CoAl why/how he knows what “fran” is. Just saying.

    #closetcrossfitter?

  17. Jimbro-yes the Snatch is extremely hard. It’s basically the most complicated lift. My snatch weight is pretty low, that’s why I was asking.

  18. Day off. Now what do I do with myself? I don’t have to run a kid or dog to a doctor.

    I was supposed to take Ethan to a doctor but Obamacare fucked that up.

  19. I was supposed to take Ethan to a doctor but Obamacare fucked that up.

    ——-

    What happened?

  20. 1) they said our policy was cancelled for non-payment , when it was paid and
    2) they claim my three youngest children aren’t on my policy.

  21. Of course, the insurance company seems to think these are things I’m supposed to clear up.

    Typical government bureaucracy reaction.

  22. That sucks, Carin.

    Stuff him with bone broth.

  23. If you like your insurance plan you can keep it. And pay for it.

    Keeping track of all that is your problem. Fine print, people!

  24. Wow, this is good: Greg Gutfeld remembers Andrew Breitbart on the 5 year anniversary of his death

    Redeye was soooo good when AB was on.

  25. Ex president is the perfect job for Obama. No responsibility and all of the attention.

    Trump is going to have a really hard time cleaning up DC but he’s the guy to do it.

    Hell, I still have wood from his answer to a Fox News babe about vacancies in the government.

    “A lot of those jobs, I don’t want to appoint, because they’re unnecessary to have,” Trump said. “You know, we have so many people in government, even me. I look at some of the jobs and it’s people over people over people. I say, ‘What do all these people do?’ You don’t need all those jobs.”

  26. I had a friend that worked as a regional director for the EPA. Sounds impressive but here’s what actually happened.

    She showed up to a nice house that had been converted to offices for around 5 people and just sort of did what she wanted. All day was spent reading or talking with other people about stuff. Nothing actually happened. No one did anything.

    Went to a few conferences a year, went diving to study things, and wrote some stuff down every few months but other than that…nothing.

    Just sort of hanging out with like minded people. It was like being a professor with no students.

    And she was able to bring her baby to work, which was really nice but kind of weird.

  27. We could probably pare HR and accounting departments by 90% in the private sector if we got significant deregulation.

  28. I couldn’t do that “job” and look at myself in the mirror.

  29. Without HR directors there would be significantly less skirts in the office.

    I vote no. Plus I think its really important.

    IT? We could cut them by 50% and be totally fine. In fact, probably better. They fuck up everything.

    By all means retards, lets try to design a business around a customized ERP. Forget what we actually do.

  30. HR has never been anything but a value subtractor in my experience. They cannot be bothered to actually read emails, even.

    And skirts in the office are overrated.

  31. Only 1/2 “IT” people appear to work in most big companies. And developers are almost a crap shoot.

  32. Contractor? Even worse.

  33. We should also outlaw high protein diets and short people.

    Forget anything that has to do with accelerant propelled incendiary devices.

  34. My protein is pretty moderate these days.

    If you try to take my grassfed butter you will pull back a charred stump.

  35. The Russian hacking story is officially dead.

    Poof.

    Trump went all in and the democrats folded.
    Good job Mr President.

  36. Grassfed butter.

    Are you wearing hipster glasses yet? How about skinny jeans?

  37. Really? How Scott?

  38. CNN is back to inaugural crowd size.

  39. But what does David Brooks think?

    Is he deeply concerned? Will his nightly selection of Cabernet be decanted properly if he’s so worried about Trump?

  40. Yea, everyone is freaking out about the proposed cut to the EPA – WTF do they do?

  41. Car in, they give us clean water. If the EPA wasn’t here, US would look like New Orleans during Katrina.

  42. Oh, right. Because the states and locals don’t care about water. You need to be a big federal agency to care about shit.

  43. That’s why Thomas Jefferson stood up for the EPA during the Constitutional Congress in 1750!

  44. * pours used motor oil down storm drain *

  45. IT? We could cut them by 50% and be totally fine. In fact, probably better. They fuck up everything.

    IT enables you to do your job. It’s the BA that’s the culprit. That and the process improvement team.

    Yes, you can have 1/2 the developers. I get to pick.

  46. Think of all the dirt Obama must have on Hillary.

    This would have been his 3rd term had she won.

  47. Are you wearing hipster glasses yet? How about skinny jeans?

    No and no. I hate this, I truly do, but I care too much about my health and know too much about how shitty most food sold in markets is to not.

    I bought grassfed, raw milk, aged cheese the other day. I looked around to make sure no one saw me.

  48. TL;DR joke time:

    My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
    Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
    She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
    I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.’
    She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
    I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’
    The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
    Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.

    We had to have the garage door repaired.
    The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
    I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’
    I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’
    We haven’t used that repairman since…

    I live in a semi rural area.
    We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
    The reason: ‘Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
    My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
    She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
    He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
    ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
    To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

    The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street.
    I was crossing with an ‘intellectually challenged’ co-worker of mine.
    She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, ‘what on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
    She is a government employee…..

    When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
    We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
    As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
    ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’
    His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’

  49. You guys may want to question CoAl why/how he knows what “fran” is. Just saying.

    #closetcrossfitter?

    #shittheyknowmysecretshame

    And my relationship goals are much simpler: try to get a second date for once.

    I’m being lazy now. I’ve got to leave in an hour to drive into LA for a blacksmithing class today, and then I have finance class this evening. Loooooonng day and I won’t be home until 10:30 or 11pm.

  50. One of the great pet peeves in my life is giving someone enough coinage that they can return my change in bills and have them return my change in bills and coins……plus the coins I gave them in the first place. It takes every ounce of my willpower to not waylay them with profanity laced evaluations of their family tree.

  51. It’s maddening. You’re doing them a favor and they don’t get it.

  52. I like the cashiers that get confused if they forget to type in the change before hitting tender.

    Ummmm.

    Yep, gonna be here a while.

  53. If you want to piss off a server, don’t put the tip amount in the line – just some random total and make them do the math themself.

    I’m not irritated by this – but I always find it really funny when people put some odd amount for tip – 5.37 instead of 5 or 6 even – and it rounds up to some really weird amount 21.36 because that’s EXACTLY the % tip they want to leave.

  54. I *hate* when people go cheap because they want the total be some exact dollar amount. $40. Or $30.

    So whatever it takes to get to that total is what I get, even if it’s below $15.

    They can fuck off.

    (and I know they do that because Maths is hard/they’re cheap and not my servering – I really am not being conceited, because I don’t think it’s the toughest job in the world, but I’m a really good server)

  55. Is wiser’s show a repeat from yesterday?

  56. I used to do that when I paid cash, but I always did the arithmetic.

  57. I don’t mind exact amount numbers – just when they error on the side of cheapness.

    Oh, 15% is $7 … but $5 makes it an even number.

  58. Car in, I often round off the total bill to the nearest dollar, for the same reason that I shut the gas pump off on the dollar, which is to say…..I don’t really know why, I just do it. But I make sure that the nearest dollar I round it to includes at least a 20% tip. Unless they really sucked.

  59. As i said, I don’t care if people like a nice neat number. I just hate it when they go cheap – and it seems sorta obvious that they’re round DOWN to make the neat number.

  60. I’m #41 on the leaderboard for Michigan/my age.

    I thought I was 39th last week, but there were late submissions they allowed because the computers got overloaded so I think I went down a bit.

    I may still fall. I think some #s aren’t verified until tonight or tomorrow.

  61. maybe you should pay more attention to Fran’s snatch?

  62. I always round up, if I’m matching numbers. I used to do that, for balancing purposes. Now I don’t worry about it, and add whole numbers.

    Same for gas. I don’t fill until a whole dollar number. Balancing is just checking for numbers now.

  63. Question for Carin:

    How much would you tip in this scenario?

    We went to a new restaurant last Friday.

    We go in, and the person who greeted us said “We have communal seating, so sit wherever you like. The tables were long with benches that could seat at least 8. The place was jammed and there were no openings. So we found two seats at the bar.

    They have about 50 beers on tap, but I asked for a glass of chardonnay. Bartender said they don’t do wines by the glass, and instead pointed to some coolers where I could pick out a bottle. I said I wasn’t going to drink a whole bottle, and she said they’d cork it so I could take it home. We were with two friends, so one of my friends said let’s get a bottle to split.

    When a space finally opened up for four, we sat at a table and waited and waited for a server. No one came, so I asked the manager what was taking so long. He said, “Oh, you place your order at the bar, they will give you a number, then bring the food to you.

    It was so fucking retarded, I’ll never go back, but I didn’t know how much to tip.

  64. Bannon tweeted something to the effect that they are uncovering mass corruption and that it would not be surprising if people ( Barky and the Cunt) went to jail.

    The problem being, (as I see it) is what would the admin do if the they refused to be “arrested”? You think charges filed and arrest warrants issued for a former president and a former presidential candidate wouldn’t be portrayed as “politically motivated” by the propaganda media? You think they couldn’t easily gin up crowds of “supporters” to stop the “fascists” from their political arrests?

    This shit is not going to end well. This is the spin up. The conflict is inevitable. The opponents have ZERO common ground and will never “get along” or “work together” again.

    If you drain a swamp, all the swamp creatures will die. Do you think the swamp creatures are going to allow that to happen without violent resistance?

    I watch all the machinations and maneuvering with a somewhat sense of detachment, but what we have to keep in mind is (as nonsensical and surreal as it may be) that these people are deadly serious and are fighting for their lives (livelihood). Because it is a “life or death” scenario, anything is on the table, and they will see it all burn before the allow themselves to “lose.”

    If anyone else has a different read on the situation, I’m willing to hear them out.

  65. I’m #41 on the leaderboard for Michigan/my age.

    I thought I was 39th last week, but there were late submissions they allowed because the computers got overloaded so I think I went down a bit.

    *tosses away MILF Madness brackets*

  66. Nothing, Hotspur. The right answer is nothing. Their business model is shit.

  67. Speaking of things that are retarded, check out this wagon.

  68. It does sound horrible, and wouldn’t go again. But if they were at all attentive, I’d do 10%

  69. Thanks. I did 10%, because all they did was bring the food, and take away the dishes.

    One woman sat down next to me, and said “Don’t you just love communal seating?” I said, “No, I’ll never be back.”

    LOL

    Fucking Ann Arbor.

  70. That’s how we order at the pizza place, but it’s kind of obvious there.

    If you want sit down service, you can go to the bar downstairs, and we’ll bring it to you.

  71. Communal seating sucks. You have to hate who you’re with to want to eat out with strangers.

  72. Nice work Pupster … these are all excellent.

  73. Has simon revealed a bullwhip number for us?

  74. Communal seating is perfect for libs, who want to force who we interact with upon us at all times.

    Good for school, not so much for eating out. Unless you’re at a game, or a college town, etc. Then you expect it.

  75. We didn’t know it was communal seating until we got there. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gone. We wouldn’t have stayed except we were meeting friends.

    The whole thing was just weird.

  76. Bullwhip number? Look, I like the blog, and I know some of you from previous encounters, but it’s a little early in our relationship for that.

    Or … I could have taken that entirely the wrong way.

  77. Well, this is a good story:

    http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/03/07/rescue-of-old-blind-dog-cheers-san-lorenzo-valley/

    Communal seaters would hate it.

  78. The requirement for membership into the H2 is revealing how many bullwhips you have up your ass RIGHT NOW.

    I think dues are paid to Cyn, but since she’s MIA you can wait on that.

  79. Idiot at restaurant:”Don’t you just love communal seating?”

    Mare: “STFU”

  80. Who is Simon Jester Jr. ?

    Is a lurker delurking?

  81. I assume he’s trying to, mare, but unless we get a bullwhip # I can’t approve his application.

  82. Bureaucracy everywhere, even at this shithole dump.

  83. It’s tradition, Simon. Sharing your xhamster password with XBrad isn’t though, so don’t do that when he says otherwise.

  84. mare, we have systems in place to keep out the riff raff. If you have a problem with that, take it up with management
    .

  85. What’s your xhamster password?

  86. And skirts in the office are overrated.

    That depends if “POUND HARDER” is written on the legs underneath them, and they’re attractive enough to make you say “If you insist…”

  87. Xhamster passwords?

    Does this mean no one takes a turn in the barrel anymore?

    Bastards.

  88. Geez … bullwhips up my ass.

    Right now.

    Let’s just pass right by the visual on that one.

    Let’s go with the metaphor.

    a) my boss is an ass who moved delivery dates and then canceled my Christmas vacation to meet his changing delivery dates, so
    b) I need a new job,
    c) Taxes – it doesn’t matter how bad a year I have, the state always wants another pound of flesh. I have had 8 bad years, and not much flesh left to give.
    d) As an engineer, I hate Microsoft and the Microsoft way of looking at the world. This is a daily bullwhip up my ass
    e) I am owed a metric buttload of money by a previous employer
    f) My kids are about to be in High School, but there are expensive choices and bad choices and dead end choices, but no GREAT I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS OPPORTUNITY choices

    I have other bullwhips cracking (heh) at me, but those are the ones that are up my ass.

    Right now.

    Not sure if this meets the bullwhip requirement. But this is better than dealing with the visual.

  89. Game camera last night. http://tinyurl.com/zhx38kd

  90. My xhamster password:

    y0urM0M!!

  91. We got engineers here, though we regularly take abuse for it.

    I could have got you an interview at F*rd up until the Argo announcement, but that’s gone now.

  92. Okay, you’ll fit right in.

  93. >>Okay, you’ll fit right in.

    Wrong response after “bullwhips in your ass” …

  94. Par for the coarse.

    Pun intended.

  95. Coyote, scott?

  96. Only Scott brings us high quality video of shitting coyotes.

  97. Link to MJ’s appearance on Friday:

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/diwhp6b8l6hj6i4/MJ%20TOTT%20030317.mp3?dl=0

  98. There is so much coyote crap out there. I’ve been telling Laura that our yard is the official coyote toilet.

    I laughed real hard when I saw that video.

  99. hate to ask, wiser, but do you have Kurt from yesterday? I was in a meeting/deployment.

  100. SFW. But about 7 on the 0-10 freak-o-meter.

    https://is.gd/MvTiX5

  101. Wiser, I just listened to the MJ segment. It was awesome listening to you two hosefuckers being your usual goofy selves.

  102. hate to ask, wiser, but do you have Kurt from yesterday? I was in a meeting/deployment.

    Sadly, no. Something went tits up on the recording server and it hasn’t recorded anything since Sunday.

    Wiser, I just listened to the MJ segment. It was awesome listening to you two hosefuckers being your usual goofy selves.

    That was fun. The rest of the week is so damned serious.

  103. Dropbox gave me a garbled mess. 😒

  104. Crackfat in 30.

    Where did the day go?

  105. I’m with MJ, I wanted to know the sex.

  106. Anyone know how many pages this POS insurance bill is the GOP crapped out?

  107. I think I heard 120 pages.

  108. Communal eating sounds as bad as assigned lounge seating at the movies. Loved Logan. H8D everything else. May have finally discovered a way to keep us out of movie theaters.

  109. Communal seating is oh so European

  110. Is this part of the CrossFit games? Practical fitness…..

    http://tinyurl.com/z46xkeh

  111. Comment by Simon Jester Jr. on March 7, 2017 11:34 am
    Nice work Pupster … these are all excellent.

    Somebody give this man the keys to the blog.

  112. *rolls up a newspaper very very tight*

  113. The trouble with a thin bill is that the govt agencies charged with implementing it will fill in the blanks and interpret the bill per their own prejudices.

  114. Spent the afternoon in the dentist’s office. Two cavities between teeth and once in there, he saw some decay on a third one, the $3000 tooth, and we threw another grand at it for a crown.

    Was afraid he’d mainline me with the epi again, but when I told him that is what happened the last time, he gave me the stuff without. Pleasantly surprised it lasted several hours.

  115. Told them I’m giving up sugar for life….nice as they are, I don’t like hanging out with them around drills.

  116. I desperately need people to tell me this is not the sort of thing that actually goes on and that I am crazy.

    That shit goes on and worse to make us all crazy. Bunch of money grubbing pricks who’d kill their grannies to keep their snouts in the trough.

  117. >>Somebody give this man the keys to the blog.

    Only if you want to come home and see the members of Metallica jousting on horseback with Richard Simmons impersonators in your backyard while Ving Rhames gives the play by play and Pat Summerall tends bar.

    Wait a minute … that may not be as dissuasive as I thought.

  118. Your mom likes getting drilled.

  119. “neener neener, we’ve got the power to do anything we want..so suck it”

    Fuckers.

  120. HALT! Who is this Simon Jester and who left the gate open?

  121. I love the crazy-faced cat reaching in the couch cushions.

  122. Ex president is the perfect job for Obama. No responsibility and all of the attention.

    So, nothing has changed for him.

  123. Ben Carson referred to slaves as immigrants. The left flips out, especially other blacks.

    Obama did the exact same thing, and nary a word from the perpetually aggrieved.

    Fuck them in the ear so they can hear it coming.

  124. Beasn, you’ll hardly miss it after a while. Let me know if you want ice cream and brownie recipes.

  125. Only if you want to come home and see the members of Metallica jousting on horseback with Richard Simmons impersonators in your backyard while Ving Rhames gives the play by play and Pat Summerall tends bar.

    Wait a minute … that may not be as dissuasive as I thought.

    No, you got it right.

    Richard Simmons impersonators would be deal breakers.

  126. leon, how do you make brownies without sugar? What is the point of brownies without sugar?

    But, I gotta do it. Teeth aren’t getting any younger and my butt is bigger than I want. Mr. B drinks bucketfuls of coffee throughout the day and enjoys snack cakes and cookies before bed and I’m the one gaining weight and cavities. WTH?

  127. W the everloving F is wrong with people. If I were Queen, the punishment for poaching is neutering by chainsaw.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/paris-zoo-thoiry-rhino-horn-poachers-shoot-dead-animal-vince-a7616076.html

    “Rhinoceros horns can be sold on the black market for around £30,000 each and are particularly sought after in China, where they are believed to have aphrodisiac qualities.”

  128. How long has it been since we’ve had a decent lurker?

  129. F*cking Chinese with little wieners. Anyone caught with aphrodisiacs containing rhino horn should get a bullet in the balls.

  130. Only if you want to come home and see the members of Metallica jousting on horseback with Richard Simmons impersonators in your backyard while Ving Rhames gives the play by play and Pat Summerall tends bar.
    ———————————
    Well I’ll be fucked sideways with a bullwhip hammer. I had no idea until I actually read the thread.

    Even so, he seems like a dick. I say we ban him.

  131. YOUR WIENERS ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!

  132. Evening Hostages. Were you all your normal asshole selves today or did someone actually do something nice?

  133. Cranks up FFDP.

    This is what I feel about little wienered f*ckers.

  134. Erythritol, Beasn. It’s perfect in ice cream, okay in brownies.

  135. Having a tiny, non functioning wiener is a pretty heavy lift, I’d imagine.

    Not saying they should eat a rhino horn or whatever but they’re already ugly and have a marginal shot at banging a hot chick.

    Magic is probably a potent lure.

  136. Heh, “imagine”.

  137. I’m digging this new hardcore Beanseses.

    QUIT HOLDING BACK AND TELLS US WHAT YOU REALLY THINK!

  138. You’d figure Chinese scientists would have worked out the giant schlong genes and found way to infect themselves with them via a lab-altered tobacco mosaic virus and be funding their collapsing economy by selling doses.

  139. Leon, Beasn, they sell a syrup called Vitafiber on Amazon. Low carb sweetner. I found it to be a better sweetner that Maltitol syrum, Erythritol granule or Sucralose. Not sure how good it is healthwise, so using it very sparingly.

  140. Ok, that stuff is called IMO – Iso Malto Oligosaccharide.

  141. *searches for “big dick virus” on the Dark Web*

  142. *searches for “big dick virus” on the Dark Web*

    There’s no amount of deleting that’s going to fix his internet history now.

  143. Oh dear God. The last sentence. The look on Lauer’s face. Fucking priceless.

    https://t.co/VQltAMGqdL

  144. Thanks Tushar, I only rarely bother with sweets anymore, though, and the erythritol is perfect for ice cream and my candies.

  145. Bcock, you don’t look at the Dark Web without the digital equivalent of a hazmat suit and a ski mask.

  146. I don’t care what kind of protection you have, there’s no coming back from searching “big dick virus”. That’s like marrying a Kardashian. No recovery. No return. Just done.

  147. Oso ❤️ Beasn

  148. I think Mika crying is a win. Also hot.

    I think Chuck Schumer crying is a win. Not hot.

    I think Nancy Pelosi attempting to cry yet not being able to is a win.

    I think Lena Dunham dropping a few elbees is win.

    I think Keith Ellison losing, but coming close to winning is a win.

    I think taking a shot at Obama, glamour model kite surfing extraordinaire is a win.

    I think fighting back against the delusion that has gripped the left is a win.

    Trump fights. He knows its war. And he’s winning every goddam day.

  149. I’m digging this new hardcore Beanseses.

    Mess with my rhinos, ellies, or eagles, I’ll throat punch a bitch.

    Srsly, they broke in a zoo. A ZOO! Small-dicked a-holes. You want a rhino’s horn, have the balls to meet one on his turf and ask him for it. Hopefully he’ll pierce your sphincter up to your f*cking face.

    That, or buy a Hoover.

  150. Erythritol

    Why should I ingest something I can’t pronounce? I’ll stick to something like an apple. I’ll treat myself on Holidays or my birfday.

  151. You’d figure Chinese scientists would have worked out the giant schlong genes and found way to infect themselves with them

    You’d think Chinese scientists would recommend micro-schlonged perverts marry a chihuahua.

  152. You’d think Chinese scientists would recommend micro-schlonged perverts marry a chihuahua.

    Interesting way for them to continue the population control policy.

  153. .oh hey…speaking of schlongs…

    Mr. Beasn called me a ‘Penis Enlarger’ the other day. LOL! I’m glad he’s blind and going senile.

  154. I’m convinced China will collapse in on itself.

    Too many people with too many problems.

  155. I’m convinced China will collapse in on itself.
    Too many people with too many problems.

    *looks around US* ……uuuuhhhhh….shit.

  156. Big erythritol wants you to think sugar is bad for your teeth.

    It’s a scam.

  157. The look on Lauer’s face. Fucking priceless.

    LOL, that was awesome, bcoch.

  158. *spots oso*

    *does a running tackle*

    *gives her a noogie and a hug*

  159. *looks around US* ……uuuuhhhhh….shit.
    ———————————-
    We’ve got problems but it’s not like China.

    They rely on theft and graft to power their economy. They have a gender imbalance. They are incredibly racist. The rising middle class thinks Buicks are cool. Buick!

  160. Tooth decay is caused by radishes.

  161. [i]They rely on theft and graft to power their economy. They have a gender imbalance. They are incredibly racist. The rising middle class thinks Buicks are cool. Buick![/i]

    It’s the Buick thing that really does them in. I mean, The Fuck?

  162. Dammit to hell.

  163. I don’t eat radishes. But I lurve sweet tea.

    *cries*

  164. HTML fail.

  165. HTMLcoch

  166. Yeah, China is going to turn ugly sometime in the next twenty years.

    Personally, I’m all for limiting trade with them, if for no other reason than that we’re funding their military build up and expansionist policies.

    BTW, wanna bet that the scumbags who broke into the zoo didn’t descend from generations of Frenchmen? Yeah, yeah, I denounce myself.

  167. >>The rising middle class thinks Buicks are cool. Buick!

    I remember thinking that Buick was done once they hired Tiger to be their spokesman. And then that last envy-ridden, virtue signalling commercial sequence … “That’s a buick?”

    Yes, it’s a buick. Style before substance. Piece of shit on the floor. Impressive to beta males and thick schlonged sisters only.

    That China is smitten by Buick only proves the theory.

  168. Wait a minute, we have enough people using complete sentences around here.

  169. It seems like every webcomic is now putting out a card game of some sort. Now, I don’t mind too much, since I like card games. I just need to find people to play with.

  170. Bacteria doesn’t like vodka.

    You should add some to your sweet tea.

  171. >>Even so, he seems like a dick. I say we ban him.

    Meh. Pupster wanted to have Richard Simmons clones in bathrobes take over. You could make worse choices than banning me.

    BUT

    I paraphrase Michael Savage … you don’t want to party with Republicans. You want to party with Democrats.

    Sadly, this is not only true, but part of the whole cosmological reason that we are in the mess we are in. Having Pat Summerall tend bar and Richard Simmons clones running around being ridden down by Lars Ulrich makes for a hell of a party.

  172. BTW, wanna bet that the scumbags who broke into the zoo didn’t descend from generations of Frenchmen?

    First words out of my mouth….but more specific.

  173. *buys a bottle of Vodka*

  174. Don’t let Wiser near it, beasn. You’ll never see it again.

  175. Question for anyone with expertize here: i have carpeted stairs. The wood treads under the carpet are pine, not oak. But it is fairly smooth and even.
    Is it worth even trying to sand, stain and finish them, or should I go with Oak?

    I am thinking of either selling or renting out my townhouse, so don’t want to spend big if I can avoid it.

  176. i just realized that last post makes me seem like I somehow, in some universe, I identify as a democrat. That was what is known as a fucking typo with a splash of bourbon.

    Of course, that I might be a Democrat is not even close to true. I won’t claim a label, but when meeting new friends it also pays to not mislabel yourself.

    Other than the fact that I feel like Richard Simmons would be hilarious at a party, and that I think Ving Rhames would be a great play by play commentator, there are no facts from previous posts that you should take as factual. Oh yeah, I really do hate Buicks.

    Goddam it.

  177. >>>>Why should I ingest something I can’t pronounce?

    It’s pronounced “C-Men”

    Does that help?

  178. >>>Don’t let Wiser near it, beasn. You’ll never see it again

    She’ll see the bottle…

  179. She’ll see the bottle…

    As some enraged postal worker cracks it across your skull?

  180. Romo to the Broncos? Oh please!

  181. That might work with MJ, but it will never work with beasn.

  182. >>>As some enraged postal worker cracks it across your skull?

    I assume YOU would have had my back….

  183. >>>>That might work with MJ, but it will never work with beasn.

    MJ has proven that he’ll eat anything.

  184. Tushar, why not recarpet them?

    I think the stairs going into our basement are pine. We haven’t decided it we’re going to bullnose and repaint them, carpet them, or replace with oak treads. The oak would be nice but then the labor to sand, stain, poly…..?? (not sure I would like nice stairs get dinged up by renters…or the possibility of them slipping and falling down them)

  185. I assume YOU would have had my back….

    The hell, man??? Of course I did. I yelled “LOOK OUT!!!” didn’t I????

  186. MJ has proven that he’ll eat anything.

    *damn near chokes to death on a cookie*

    DAMMIT WISER

  187. >>>DAMMIT WISER

    Cracks me up every time

  188. Beasn, carpeted stairs are going out of style. The new fad is to have smooth wooden stairs, slip n fall, and hurt your spine.

  189. >>>Beasn, carpeted stairs are going out of style.

    Basically, what Tush is saying here, is while the carpeted stairs may be better on your knees, you might want to consider perhaps yoga mats.

  190. Pupster when he was a little girl.

  191. …carpeted stairs are going out of style…

    Meh. I’m pretty sure we’re going to re-carpet our stairs going to the second floor when the basement apartment is finished. I like my spine.

  192. >>>>Pupster when he was a little girl.

    You ever get the feeling that we may have over-domesticated them?

  193. The new fad is to have smooth wooden stairs,

    Only until she’s married and has kids.

  194. Evening.

  195. Today I killed myself in a violent propane explosion. Then I got better.

  196. One of us, one of us

    Bloody Mary Pot Roast on PBC

  197. hello Jew
    Forgive me for my silliness, but I must tell someone. On my way to work today, The stars aligned (it was totally safe) I turned the traction control off, etc, I did a powerslide (punched it after the apex of the corner) slid the back end out to a 45 d angle and held it there for 100′
    Powerslides rock!
    Still grinning, and bragging. Heh

  198. Welcome Simon,
    bull whips or no.
    No one will ignore you like they do me.

  199. Sounds cool, VMax. :)

  200. But isn’t Simon Jester really Mycroft the sentient computer?

    TANSTAAFL!

  201. **ignores VMax**

  202. *Moves “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” to the top of my reread list*

  203. Swifty … funny once.

    Interesting fact, tmiahm is not on kindle for some reason.

  204. Funny once, swifty.

    Interesting fact …. tmiahm is not on kindle.

  205. Danger everywhere! Requesting police!


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