The Great Banning

“Trump bans Muslims” read every major newspaper headline this week. He didn’t but that doesn’t matter to people who sit on their brains.

Things that were banned

Yes, this song was banned by the BBC because it might offend people who stutter.

Iranian pistachios (ban reversed by Obama, [] a man who knows his way around nuts)


Lead paint




Kinder Surprise Eggs


Big sodas




Conservative speakers on college campuses

Smoking in public


Gas cans that don’t suck


Life changes slowly until it doesn’t and then you wonder just how the hell things got the way they are now.



  1. Chumpo sighting last night

  2. Bad lip reading

    The shtick has worn thin but it’s always at least a little funny

  3. Good morning, kids!

    *scratches hump with awesome backscratcher Scott left by the grill for me*

  4. MJ was hilarious last night.

    manual muppet processes, ew

  5. He is a funny little fucker but don’t say it out loud. It only encourages him.

  6. *leaves 45 dead birds on blog’s porch

  7. I wonder if there’s any money to be made in making non-sucky “totally not for gas” watering cans.

  8. MJ, loving your house?

  9. Wakey wakey

    *stirs coffee with grill brush

  10. Last fall I went to the local NAPA to buy some oil for the boy’s ATV and saw some type of speed fill gas cans that looked interesting. They were pretty pricey. We just use a funnel and take the spout off the gas can for the waverunner.

  11. So, last night at work (do we still allow work stories here, or has Hotspur banned those too?) a couple came in 20 min before close, ordered crab, ran up a 117 bill and stiffed the waitress (not me). We sat around for 45 min waiting for those fuckers to leave (and no, we weren’t rude – the waitress is one of our best). LOTS of drinks (expensive ones) dessert.

    They stiffed the waitress the last time too – another girl remembered them when they came in- they gave zero on $86.

  12. Those are first class assholes, Carin. Every bit of that story is gross.

  13. Do you tell the owner or manager about it when that happens?

  14. He honestly doesn’t give a shit.

  15. Next time give them shitty service.

  16. Oh, you wanted parmesan peppercorn dressing? And on the side? Let me take care of that right away!

    -disappear to kitchen and laugh

    Bring entree out and emerge with salad 15 minutes later.

  17. They’ve earned it at this point.

  18. If the manager doesn’t care, all wait staff needs to get really bad cramps/whatever when they walk in, let the manager handle them.

  19. They will be the first to complain, and the manager will listen to them.

    It never works out well, customer retaliation. No matter how satisfying.

  20. The best we can do is have servers refuse to wait on them. Tell them they are left with the manager to do that duty.

    We actually can do that.

  21. I mean – we are forced to pay taxes and tip out on that. So they cannot MAKE us work for free.

  22. I hear Milo will be speaking here today.

    *burns MJ’s 45 birds, starts drum circle


  23. More horribly evil narcissistic behavior from Trump.

  24. Every day, my vote and my encouragement to my wife to vote for Trump feels better and better.

  25. Why didn’t anyone say good morning to Jewstin?

    Morning, Jewstin!

  26. He’s a businessman, and a successful one. He’s forgotten more about this than democrats will ever know.

  27. Anyone got a good biscuit recipe?

  28. Cook the sausage in a sheet pan, or substitute bacon. Which can also be cooked in the oven, along with the eggs.

  29. Your mom makes a good biscuit.

  30. I didn’t see a comment from him or I would have greeted him.

  31. Re: Berkeley Riots

    The new KKK dressed all in black and hides their face behind a bandanna for the same reason that the original KKK wore all the same clothing and hid their faces while shutting down free speech, protesting voting the “wrong” way, and attacking people for disagreeing with them.

    Just sayin’

  32. Already ranted on the Demoncrats’ history yesterday. Do not see a need to repeat myself.

  33. Dear Black Bloc……. say hello to the new DOJ. You are about to be visited.

    Ok, so around 3pm yesterday the better half sends me a facebook post of a picture of a house in my small town (pop 900) here in central illinois. The picture shows a house on the main drag with a upside down US flag attached across the front porch.

    I get home in town a little after 5pm and drive by the place, see the flag and head home. Upon arrival my 17yr old say “You see the flag” I reply “yep”, he says “It wont be there tomorrow”. I say “I figured as much”. (at this point the high school crowd (various cliques) are arguing online as to who gets to do the deed). In the meantime around 6pm a local veteran shows up outside the house with a US flag and begins to “counter-protest” by 7pm there were 12 picketers and by 8pm the local TV station had arrived. When interviewed the upside down flag lady said that she “felt the US was in distress cause of DJT”.

    I used to do security assessments for a living. In my world, that type of reaction from conservatives (not prone to demonstrations as a group) in this environment tells me that the general public has had just about enough of this nonsense. We live in interesting times…

  34. Wife found a 70-acre lot with a house and a tiny house in Alpena for $160k. It’s the wrong direction for being closer to my parents, but daaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

  35. heh, was she at 126, TT?

  36. Is that $160k mostly for the lot or the house? (I’ve been looking at those lately. You can get a full house in a decent area in these parts for what most outfits charge for a tiny…)

  37. “was she at 126, TT?”

    Im slower than my usual slow on the up take this morning Jay. Your question is perplexing me.

  38. Mostly for the lot, I suspect, but she said the house looked okay. I’ll see if I can get a link out of her later.

  39. I didn’t want to post the news article I found, for privacy reasons (in case you didn’t want it revealed, small town), but the house number where the flag was nailed was 126.

  40. Could be this, Cavill:

    You’d be 2 hours from where I am and <1hr from Car in.

  41. I think we’re headed to another Kent State.

  42. I missed Gabe, right? Stupid work.

  43. Holy crap.

    Is it on a uranium mine?

  44. I won’t be surprised if it’s at UM Dearborn or Ann Arbor. I’m more worried that we’re going to see airport bombings subsequent to the dispersal of a “peaceful” protest.

  45. Scott, it’s just rural Michigan.

  46. If it were cleared it would be worth a half million, but it looks like 60 acres of forest.

    How awful.

  47. Everyone should move to Michigan. it’s awesome. The negatives are outweighed.

  48. I wasn’t considering a move there, I was more just curious what the breakdown was. Michigan…geez. (No offense to our Michiganders.)

  49. And apparently “tiny” was not as in “tiny house”. That looks like a respectable abode, actually.

  50. That’s the main house. There’s a tiny house/hunting lodge closer to the woods.

  51. That place looks just terrible, none of you should put in an offer on it.

  52. Huh, I guess you’d call that a MiL setup in other circumstances. Useful as a guest lodge or something I guess?

    Eh, if I can pull it off I’m thinking Texas anyway. Better economy, not so much cold and snow.

  53. The violence that the left is getting away with is going to escalate. It will escalate until they kill some people. Eventually law enforcement is going to have to put this insurrection down.

    I think we are heading into real chaos.

  54. yea, everyone stay out of Michigan. It’s horrible here.

  55. happy groundhog day h2 rodentia

  56. Nothing here is venomous but the spiders, and we have hardly any that can kill you. Plus the sap goes down in the winter so you can cut the trees when dry, or catch maple and birch sap when the daytime temps are over freezing.

    I’ll keep winter, thanks, it’s useful.

  57. Chaos, that has been Ayers and Soros’s plan all along.

    No doubt in my mind.

  58. *stays away from Michigan

    Phew, that was close!

  59. @ Jay. Thats what I thought you were referring too, but my google fu is weak and when I checked I could find no reference online with the address. The town is Maroa, IL. The coverage I read this morning was on

    Im not so sure were going to see Kent State as much as I think we will see the “hardhats” vs. the “hippies” ala 68 convention.

    What I want to see is a shoot on sight order for the Blac Bloc.

  60. Laura’s old beef stew vs mother nature

  61. I take it back, that’s 4 hours from me, 3 from Car in. Tip of the mitten almost.

  62. That’s the story I read, TT. The 126 is in the picture.

  63. There’s an ANG base in Alpena, thus the interest.

  64. @ Jay. Thanks for the consideration for privacy. I appreciate it.

    @ Leon. Thats a nice piece of property. I dont know what you have now, but I would take that for 150 in a heartbeat. Does it have a pond?

  65. I moved the beef stew so it’s right on their path.

    I bet they are so used to people trying to poison them that they ignore it.

  66. Heh, I was wondering why they walked past the bowl.

  67. $5 phillys at Pepperjax for Groundhog day!

  68. If it doesn’t have a pond, I’d be surprised.

    I’ve got a shovel, I could make one.

  69. It isn’t a likely destination, we know no one up there and it’s 5.5 hours from my folks. Oh well.

  70. If they walked to the bowl they would have been visible from the house.

    Not hungry enough to give up stealth.

  71. It has to have water. I think the law is one lake for every 5 acres.

  72. Neat trick for getting rid of old cans of latex paint.

    Mix in equal amount of concrete, stir, and they are safe to throw away the next day.

    I had cans that were almost 30 years old.

  73. I might have to do that with a bunch of old paint in the barn.

  74. What about the paint that’s already dry?

  75. Austin: Chickens coming home to roost…

  76. The paint dry stuff that Home Depot sells is $2 for each application.

    A 60 lb bag of concrete is under $4.

  77. I was about to buy 10 of them when the guy behind the counter went


  78. I wonder if it’d be safe to use that combo as a post anchor.

  79. Who fucking cares if Melania Trump doesn’t move to the White House?

    Why is it even a “thing”?

  80. New Yorkers care.

    Image search ‘security around Trump Tower’.

  81. Leon do you use avocado oil?

  82. Sounds like a total clusterfuck

  83. The sad part is not that Senators Collins and Murkowski were purchased by the teachers union.

    The sad part is that they were purchased so cheaply.

  84. I don’t, Mare. EVOO for salads, coconut or regular OO for cooking/sauces.

  85. My truck was searched the last two times I was in NYC. I can’t even imagine going there now.

    It’s a bit frightening to be swarmed by police.

    They asked if they could take a look in my truck. I translated that to….Let us take a look in your truck or we’ll beat the snot out of you and claim you resisted arrest.

    After the 2nd time I vowed to never return in a big white windowless van.

  86. Scott, you need to throw a couple of tarps, a roll of duct tape, and a teddy bear back there just to fuck with them.

  87. I sorta feel sorry for Melania. My guess is that she doesn’t want to be First Lady, but knew that Trump felt he had to run for President. Hopefully she can stay out of the public eye and raise her son and let Ivanka handle a lot of the social stuff.

  88. He’ll be able to use Melania for leverage.
    Schumer would probably do just about anything to get her to leave.

  89. Trump should threaten to buy a house for Melania and Barron in whatever neighborhood Schumer lives in.

  90. The end of an era

  91. What the hell? Why?

  92. It kinda hurts when you lose a guy like Burge. When Steven den Beste died it felt like I’d lost a wise uncle.

  93. He’s probably sick of the attacks.

  94. Hotspur if you read his latest Twitter thread it explains it. Short version, people were constantly expecting him to comment on politics and were obnoxious when he didn’t.

  95. Cunts.

  96. Twitter burns people out.

  97. Plus he was (IIRC) kinda heavy #NeverTrump. I’m not sure if he’s varied since Trump got started but there’s still a lot of bad blood. A shame, really, but I can’t blame him.

  98. I never got into Twitter. Couldn’t really see a use for it.

    I used FaceCunt for a time, but I dropped it last summer when the crazy shitstorm got into high gear.

    I don’t miss it.

  99. here’s hoping he gets a nice break, and chimes in once in a while. That would be ideal.

  100. Twitter is really good for breaking news.

  101. I hate it that this winch has gotten so batshit crazy here lately. At one time I kinda liked the way she looked. But she’s done crazied her way out of my sick fantasies.

  102. Well, that’s a disgusting picture.

  103. I’ve always thought she was pretty too.

  104. The packaging is wearing thin
    Now we see the rot within

  105. I hope the secret service give her a visit.

  106. The military can’t wait to take orders from this Silverman buffoon, fat ass Michael Moore and that Naaaaaaasty bitch and obvious prescription drug addict, Ashley Judd.

    Yes, the military cannot wait.

  107. Mad dog Mattis will obviously see the error of Trump’s ways and beg for Sarah Silverman’s (née, c*nt) coup genius.

  108. Is wanting to see her locked up for fomenting treason a sick fantasy?

    Because if it is I don’t want to get better.

  109. ““The block is now unwelcoming and looks like a war zone,” said Daniel R. Garodnick, a Democratic city councilman who represents the area. “We are getting to a place where these businesses need to plan and worry that they won’t be able to survive. …””

    from scotts comment/link at 142

    as a nys resident, business owner, property owner, and constant anal rape victim of the nyc monopoly on nys policy and decisions i say


    eat shit bitches

    bringing nyc to a standstill has got enough awesome that it might convince me to heartily support DJT on the next round

  110. as for sarah silverman and her ilk:
    it’s too bad that they will reach sentience only after they are forced to wear the full bee keeper and service the warriors of the pedophile

  111. They MIGHT figure it out when the pavement is feet away. Or the blade is about to slice their necks.

    But I doubt it.


  113. I just had an awesomely surreal moment.

    I left the TV on for the dog today–MSNBC. I like Morning Joe. Don’t judge me, I like Mika.

    Anyway, I’m doing the dishes and a chick is talking about how Trump has made it ok to hate the LGBT community, divide the country, and stifle free expression.

    I quickly turned to Fox News and there’s footage of the crazy left rioting and burning down parts of a city to protest a gay man with a black boyfriend lest he speak words.

    Fucking weird, man.

  114. That last comma was important.

  115. MJ, you need to blog at Ace’s.

  116. Just got back from Paris.

    when I landed in Chicago and exited customs there were four people with signs that said, ‘Was anyone on your flight stopped from getting on the airplane? Talk to us’. Each person was holding a sign in a different language. English, Arabic and Farsi. I didn’t catch the fourth one because I was in a hurry to catch my flight home and I really don’t care.

    They are shopping for ‘victims’.

  117. Oh, and the media was there to record the ‘spontaneous interviews’.

  118. Speaking of banning:

    Now why would a bunch of teacher’s union members want to ban a book that exposes the lies of socialism??

    It is truly a puzzler.

  119. Reflections on Paris:

    There has never been a prettier dirtier city than Paris. Our crew hotel was next to the Eiffel Tower. Great location for sightseeing, bad for eating/drinking on a budget.

    On the advice of other pilots, I went to a place off the the beaten path called ‘Pizza Amalfi’. Great pizza, cheap beer and wine. No wonder he caters to aircrew!. The owner speaks English and understands that we have to eat/drink early because we fly in the morning. This one of the few restaurants that serves an early dinner (most don’t start until 7:00).

    He knows his target audience!

  120. That last comma was important.

    Hahahahaha. Soooo true.

  121. MJ, you need to blog at Ace’s.
    I think I’m still banned.

  122. You can still blog if you’re banned.

  123. I’m giving up good taste for lent

  124. How can you still be banned? Didn’t your IP change?

  125. Ace: here is a blog post from an asshole I banned two years ago.

    Hotspur: First!

  126. You can still blog if you’re banned.
    Nah, he takes my $50 every few month donation and buys little muppets to light on fire. Besides, the people that blog there are smart or funny. Occasionally both. I can’t really get that to work.

  127. Huh. I haven’t tried to comment since I moved.

  128. Still banned.

  129. LOL

  130. Right, right. You are neither smart nor funny, or you’re one or the other but not both. Obviously this is a thing that everyone knows and believes.

    *eyes roll out of skull and across floor*

  131. goddammit

  132. *grabs Laura’s eyes*
    *sticks in pocket*

  133. shit shit shit

  134. Anyone find any grill brushes today?

  135. fguvkimg cpck

  136. *hands Laura back her eyes*

    *looks down and kicks dirt*

  137. *fumbles*

  138. *replaces eyes in socket* PHEW!! Thanks, Hotspur!
    So grateful….


    Pretty sure one of these is a grape. I’m not complaining. Looks better than the original!

  139. So Laura, how much do you love the D?

  140. *backs out of blog pouring gasoline trail*

  141. I have 43 hours on the clock so far this week. Entirely too much time sitting on my ass in this chair.

  142. …love the D?

    No, you didn’t just say that.

  143. I was quoting Ace’s humpgainzzzz post. The blogging comment reminded me that I wanted to needle about it because it made me giggle like a retard.

  144. Star bit Rowan’s flank the other day and he’s been licking at it for 48 hours. The only time he stops is to eat or shit. Probably a little shut eye along the way. Paula is a nervous dog mom and I keep telling her it’ll heal fine. Tonight she broke out the cone of shame. After the cone was applied he remained in the same semi crouched position for 20 minutes. I had our older boy carry him upstairs. He will kill us all after the cone is removed, I am sure of it.

  145. Still boring.

  146. How about cock fights?

    They’re pets.

    Do they pique your interest?

  147. I’m talking about D3, not Detroit, get your mind out of the gutter.

  148. Leon talks a lot about the D. Just sayin’.

    On a totally separate note: I work with retards.

  149. Mare is the resident expert on cock fights.

  150. MJ, I’ve got one who we could productively replace with a head of broccoli (it wouldn’t draw a salary or waste time in meetings lying about what it’s “working on”), and another who looked at all the findings from the security scanner (hundreds) and decided she was just going to shut down and leave that work to the the remaining developers actually working.

    I’d call them retards, but they’re fantastically capable parasites.

  151. I suppose the last kitten experiment at Chez Hotspur didn’t work.

  152. I surmised as much, and I’m sorry to hear it.

  153. HS needs a baby porcupine

  154. * stuffs 3 puppies and 6 chickens into a box *

    * waits for post office to open *

  155. Mine are stubborn, immature, undisciplined, and unable to comprehend agility or flexibility.

    One of my pigs produced a leverage plan that was exactly the same as where we started 4 weeks ago. I spent a month working with a team to help them quantify their insane inability to accept risk and she decided she didn’t care and went right back to square one.

    And yelled at me in a meeting. If I could fire her, I would. People in the Midwest are very resistant to thinking differently.

  156. *takes daily dose of D*

  157. “HS needs a baby porcupine”
    wth is wrong with you ppl
    the last one we sent him was inserted the wrong way….

  158. People in the Midwest are very resistant to thinking differently.

    This seems racist.

  159. “Mine are stubborn, immature, undisciplined, and unable to comprehend agility or flexibility.”

    Your company needs a better meth plan.

  160. Our meth plan is pretty good, I just wish the rest of the team weren’t all in on the quaaludes.

  161. Someone needs to remind President Trump (I love typing that!) of Obamas interactions with the Republican congress on Jan 23, 2009:

    It might help him make Chucky cry again.

  162. MJ is probably still a better poster than I am.

  163. Comment by leoncaruthers on February 2, 2017 8:40 pm

    So Laura, how much do you love the D?

    110%, enthusiastically, and with every particle of my being.

  164. Leon,
    Tell the boss that they are all ADD and get them on Adderall…

  165. * smiles *

  166. Leon needs to see this.

  167. I need to get one of those racks for the barn, or just build one.

  168. Niece is staying with us. Everything we eat is chicken and I have bright red fingernails. Glittery ones.

  169. morning jewstin! Leon ignored you this morning


  171. Leon’s an ignorer. If you see him, tell him I said so.

  172. I battled the bureaucracy today in trying to get rid of a piece of electronic equipment built in 1978 that can’t be calibrated or repaired.

  173. Have a snack, Jewstin.

  174. Hotspurs kittens took my grill brush.

  175. Good news: SIL is candidate for immunotherapy drug trial.
    Bad news: 50/50 she gets placebo.

    Thank you for the prayers and good thoughts, and please pray she gets something that will work.

  176. What’s this about the D?

  177. I have a story.

  178. Hotspurs kittens took my grill brush.


    /scratches back with grill brush.

  179. so.

    We bought a 5000 s/f building to use as a warehouse for our battery stores – we have two now.

    we applied for all the proper license, yada yad yada. The warehouse is days away from going operational.

    Tuesday- fire Marshall. 11th hour: “you may need a sprinkler system”.

    Which is a $50,000 system. FU MJ.

  180. it wasn’t in any code. Just the fire marshal deciding it would be nice to have.

  181. There hasn’t been a lot of sleep in the O’Brien household since tuesday, since it would mean we have a $5000 monthly nut that is doing us nada.

  182. This happened.

    We gave them batteries.

    Today the fire Marshall decided we didn’t need a sprinkler system. I mean, it’s not as if it would put out a fire comprised of batteries anyway.

  183. They stole 16 truck batteries.

  184. Nice job carin.

  185. I hate you all so much. Except for you MJ.

  186. What, was the fire marshal worried about hippies having drug-addled orgies in your warehouse?

  187. The fire Marshall will think a sealed building with an argon suppression system might be a good idea. How many AAA batteries do you have in stock?

  188. And pillow cases. How many AAA batteries can you swing in a pillow case?

  189. L8 to the party, TFG & The Mooch would have NYC date night and shut traffic and the city down, but that’s totes OK. Melania wanting to let Barron finish the school year at his school is beyond outrage!!!! Eleventy. Her parents are in NYC and he spends time with his grandparents each week. Mother of 10 yr old is putting her child before her position as FLOTUS. Burn her!!!

  190. Jew, how old is the niece?

  191. Oso, I want a single POTUS so we don’t have a first lady. Probably won’t happen. People would never accept a bachelor. He’d probably be accused of being secretly gay.

  192. Buchanan?

  193. The niece is 32.

  194. I know we’ve had it in the past, but it would never fly today.

  195. FLOTUS does not get staff or get a “Cause”. No 2 for the price of one. We didn’t vote for their shit.

  196. Niece is 5.

  197. Chumpo called us all “Fags”, but he said it in hablo in a lame rhyme. Miss you El Chumpo!

  198. Melania’s cause is cyberbullying.

    “Have any of you ever seen accusations that you were a prostitute spread all over the Internet? No? Then suck it up.” *smokes cigarette *

  199. Hahaha the glitter polish makes sense. Not sure about the 🐥🐥 unless it is in the form or poppers, tenders, or nuggets.

  200. Dance lessons earlier, and now I’m sitting here watching the main dance. My knee hurts too much to dance much more. Probably heading home in twenty minutes.

  201. CoAlEx, didn’t her law suit get the go ahead to move forward? Other than a WH request for Barron to get the same treatment as other WH children, they’ve all stayed away from the attacks on Barron. I wonder if lawyers are working on it. Rosie O’ Fatass apologized and retracted her post-election Barron comments.

  202. I expect the left to launch a vicious campaign against Barron at some point. They can’t help themselves.

  203. He was called a future “Homeschool shooter” by a SNL writer. A future date rapist by a Comedy Central writer. I know I’m missing the 3rd one. Chelsea Clinton tweeted a defense of Barron, but intimated he deserved it because of shit his dad says. The jerks that stalked Ivanka and berated her on a flight in front of her 3 children were excused because she’s an adult.

  204. Ugh, sucks Car in. Held hostage by the system. wow.

  205. The jerks that stalked Ivanka and berated her on a flight in front of her 3 children were excused because she’s an adult.

    Yeah, never mind that she was flying with her kids. I so hate the left, and how we can’t ever call them out, because it’s never heard.

  206. I’m going to break out either the vicodin or the booze when I get home. Maybe both.

  207. Sorry about the knee, CoAlEx

  208. J’ames, I want the DoJ to go after CAIR, Soros, and sanctuary city assholes. Let it burn!!!

  209. My cousin Sally went to get a colonoscopy. The clinic gave her a brown t-shirt. The Butt Hut.

  210. Seriously, I lay comic gold in the fucking blog, and everyone’s in bed?

  211. They say we’re derp and we don’t know
    We won’t find out until we grow
    Well I don’t know if all that’s true
    ’cause you got me, and baby I got you

  212. *slow clap*

  213. Blurp.

  214. ww


  216. The Butt Hut is a new one for me and I’ve been exposed to over 25 years of medical related stool humor and double that in the amateur ranks.

  217. El posto nuevo.

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