Like a kid at Christmas I am filled with anticipation for tomorrow. Equal parts celebration of the JEF leaving the oval office and apprehension about the radicals who have threatened the inauguration. I’m also wondering how Trump will respond to the pressures of the presidency. Hopefully like a boss.
The inauguration is going to be H-U-G-E. Some would say…GIGANTIC
Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day, the last one of the Obama administration. Who will TFG pardon today?
Let’s get started.
Today’s poat is partially inspired by the movie “John Carter“. I still need to see the end – the cable went on the fritz in the last 20 minutes or so, and there’s no telling how far off Hollywood decided to go from the book.
Taylor Kitsch played John Carter.
Continue reading
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Added, cuz it’s freakin hilarious!
Next Monday will be President Trump’s first Monday on the job. Former VP Biden will be tooling around in his new Corvette, and 0bama will be reduced to plotting how best to destroy America from outside the White House.
Per what I’ve heard from the Left, by this time next Monday, millions of Messican invader families will be shattered by the Trumpenmarine. Womyn will be sent home from all military jobs, possibly all jobs. VP Pence will be prowling about with a portable electrocution device killing homosexuals. Oh, and blacks will all be property again, or something like that. Hollywood and fun will be outlawed. The world will be literally on fire from global warming.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments.
Marred by ink.
Just a bit too much shadow here.
Pretty eyes.
Something seems “off” here.
A little too skinny, maybe.
How long do you suppose she held this?
Hello Kitty.
Looks like California. Wonder if they’ll do us a favor and secede.
She looks intense.
Her too.
Happy Monday, everyone. Enjoy these last few days before Trumpmaggedon.
Also, remember to tune in to WATR today at mid-day!
A new building across the street from us is now finished and people are moving in. The neighbors in our building have been really nice, mind their own business (except a Mrs. kravitz like lady two doors down, she gets a pass because she is the neighborhood watch lady), are friendly and by all appearances normal.
Yesterday while my husband and I were loading kayaks onto our truck in front of our place a new neighbor lady comes over, we introduce ourselves and she asks where we like to kayak. I told her about a few spots, then she immediately starts telling me about another new neighbor who closed just two hours ago….
Part 2
Before I tell you what she said about the neighbor who just closed, I will describe this lady. She is short and has very wild and wiry gray hair. I think she’s my age or younger but looks older (at least my husband thought so). Walks fast like she’s on a mission. She had kind of strange lisp (I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF THAT, JUST PAINTING A PICTURE) and talked very fast, so I had to concentrate.
In a 4 minute conversation she said that the neighbor who just closed was visiting his place on New Years Day and when he saw her (they had never met) he introduced himself and then wanted to give her a New Years Hug and kiss. She put her hand out (she demonstrated) and said, “No, I can’t, I have strep throat!” I said, not understanding at first, “Yes, strep is going around.” Then she said, “No, he was just weird.” I said, “Ahhh, thanks for the heads up!” She then goes on to tell me during that same conversation with this guy he says, “My bank is closed and I need cash, can I write you a check?” She says, “I don’t think so!”
She then looked at the kayaks and says, “We have 2 but I told my husband he can’t get a boat until he sells his dirt bike, motorcycle, and his other toys!” I said, “You’re very prudent.” I’m not sure why she told me but whatever. She left and my husband looked at me and said “What just happened?” and I said, “I’ll tell you in the car.”
Next episode, I meet the neighbor who had just closed two hours ago…
Part 3
Now, not 5 minutes after the lady neighbor left (Jill) (Oh, and when she said her name and her husband’s, Jill and Bill she said, “We’re the new Jack and Jill!” I dutifully chuckled and coughed), my other new neighbor (whose name I think is Jim, when I just asked my husband he said, “I have no idea I’ve already flushed it.”) Anyhoo, he sees me with the kayaks and almost runs over and says loudly, before even giving his name, “I JUST CLOSED TWO HOURS AGO!!” I said, “congratulations and welcome.” I put my hand out and said, “My name is Mare (cough), nice to meet you.” my husband walks out, introduces himself and he said, and I’m not kidding at all….
“My name is Jim and I’ve had a hell of a year, just crazy. I’m from a place just north of Orlando. I had a nervous breakdown a few months ago because I was getting a divorce. My wife wasn’t meeting my needs. It took 3 months to change my loan and get to closing. I have only a new dinning set I bought at Ashley furniture and two boxes of clothes. Are you going to the party tomorrow and I have a kayak and where is a good place to launch?”I said, “So sorry to hear that, you really are starting out fresh, and I like to go to Maximo park.”We get in the truck and my husband says, “We’ve been so fortunate with neighbor’s I’m not sure how this is going to work out.” And when I told him about the hugging and check cashing he said, “We need to build a wall down the middle of the street.”
Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday. Your models today did not make the cut for most comments, most likes, or Pups Picks. However, after reviewing the 12 other models nominated, I determined the polling methods must be off as there was not a single ginger on-board. This is the redhead edition, the last round before all winners go head to head in one final big boob grudge match.
#1 Melissa Archer
https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/04/08/bbf-57/
Your model for today was born in Dallas, Texas on December 2nd, 1979. She measures 5’5″, 34-24-36 and 120lbs. She is a soap opera actress and has huge chest pillows, red hair and the crazy eyes. Yep, I dig her. Please catch me before you welcome, Miss Melissa Archer!
Melissa Archer
#2 Francesca Dellera
https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/06/17/bbf-65/
Your subject(s) today is an actress and model, born in Rome, Italy on October 2nd, 1965. She measures 34-25-35 and stands 5’6″ tall. Please maintain eye contact and welcome, Miss Francesca Dellera!
Francessca Dellera
#3 Dylan Hardy
https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/09/16/bbf-72/
Our subject today is a Glamour Model from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, Wales, UK, Britain, England. She stands 5’6″, has a 30F upper-midsection and probably smells like bacon and purple lilacs. Please don’t kill the fantasy and welcome, Miss Dylan Hardy!
Dylan Hardy
#4 Sarah Rafferty
https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2016/10/14/bbf-76/
Our subject for today is an actress, born December 6th, 1972 in Greenwich, Connecticut. Please give Mare an intervention before you welcome, Sarah Rafferty!
Sarah Rafferty
(Mountain Man Monday). You did it. You made me order a copy of The Revenant. I’m a big fan of the movie Jeremiah Johnson as well as the TV series Grizzly Adams. That movie and the show came out in my youth when camping in a canvas tent seemed like great fun. As Boy Scouts we averaged about 5 outdoor tent camp outs a year with one winter camp out in a heated cabin and a week at summer camp. We had very few organized activities aside from a morning and evening flag ceremony and mostly just roamed the woods emulating mountain men we saw on TV. In Southeastern Massachusetts there was more scrub oak and pitch pine than aspen and Bristlecone pine typically found out west in the mountains. Didn’t matter. You find your mountain where you are dammit.
One of you fockers linked this some years back and every once in a while I find the theme song playing in my head
Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. I messed up something, and now I am forced to use the new Wordpoop editor. Bleah. Hopefully I won’t crash the blog doing this.
RIP, Carrie Fisher.
Dang, this sucks. Give me hunks, please.
Bunnies are frickin’ cute. And exactly what we need on an extra-crappy Winter Tuesday.
First group of bunnies: All love, all the time.
I’m going on a short journey, straight to your heart. And maybe your other internal organs. Do you like Monty Python movies?
Tuesday is already a garbagey day that feels like that pile of lint in the corner of your jacket pocket. An extra-crappy Winter Tuesday is more like when you reach into the junk drawer and your finger hits a tack. Not the end of the world, but just kind of extra-shitty and annoying.
You know when you’re walking barefoot across the bedroom and you hit your pinky toe on the bedframe corner at full stride and you collapse in friggin’ agony for thirty seconds? That shit almost always happens on Tuesday.
That’s when you need a funny bunny.
Aww, he likes the parsley in the garde- SHIT! Scott! Shoot it! SHOOT!
Thank you and have a lovely day. Try to forget what day it is and concentrate on the bunnies.
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