Secret Santa Poat 2016

Punchin’ heretic bishops, old-school.

Anyhow, it’s that time of year again, and I’m humbly stepping up to provide the key function of randomly assigning people to buy presents for other people after they’ve elected to be included in such a scheme.  I don’t know how Cyn did the forms in years past, so if you want in this year, email my user name at the gee mail thingy by midnight Monday (11-28-2016), and I’ll get you a victim’s name by 8am on Tuesday morning.  Please include your name, FULL address, your handle here, and an anecdote about the H2 so I’ll know you aren’t a creepy stalker type (well, one that doesn’t actually comment, anyhow).  We will plan to open presents on Sunday, December 18, at 8pm EST, so HAVE IT IN THE MAIL by December 7.


  1. You think we’re going to be able to respond that quickly?

  2. I promise to try very hard not to screw this up.

  3. I need to think about this for at least 4 days.

  4. Pupster only asked a couple of days ago, we’re all late to it this year. I suppose we could push it back a week and open presents the day before NYE.

  5. I’m teasing.

  6. But, I would give it longer than Sunday night.

  7. Monday night then, edited.

  8. I like the idea of pushing the opening back. For a person who has based his entire life and career on the ability to delay gratification that works for me.

    *polishes Marshmallow Tedt trophy

  9. And thanks for taking this on Leon.

  10. YAAAAY!

    Folks might want to include a phone number for the delivery people.

    Thanks Leon.

  11. Thank you, Leon

  12. Cool beans. I’m in.

  13. I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving.

  14. Castro is dead. The baby jesus smiles.

    Sat Cong’ !

  15. How did your Thanksgiving menu turn out, Jewstin? Was crazy cat lady invited?

  16. My Thanksgiving feast was a hit. Crazy Cat Lady was here along with Boyfriend’s mom and grandma and the new roommate.

  17. The refrigerator Pickles and manicotti were really popular.

  18. I hate the side by side refrigerator/freezer. How do you fit stuff in those things?

  19. Turkey carcass soup is assembled.

  20. By all means, add a phone number if you’re comfortable doing so.

  21. That POS in the White House better not have the flags lowered for that Communist bastard.

  22. After the FU the American public gave him and his legacy on Election Day I wouldn’t put it past him to do so

  23. Comment by Pupster on November 26, 2016 9:08 am

    Folks might want to include a phone number for the delivery people.


    I’m not falling for that…….. ;)


  25. I promise I won’t call you.

  26. Kickoff Countdown: 1 hour 32 minutes


  27. Castro is dead, Hillary will never be president, The Ohio State University plays TTUN, and I think The Crap Tree is going up today! SQUEEEE

  28. Fuck Castro, fuck the pope, fuck Obama, and Cankles will never be president

  29. *high fives Oso*

  30. Roll Tide!


  32. Lots of trees on cars today


  34. *high fives Hotspur* Let’s go Bucks!!!

  35. It’s Cuba Libre time!!!

  36. Heh, I had rum and cokes at the open bar last week. (Bacardi white rum not the Captain.) Just couldn’t keep a straight face while asking for a Cuba Libre.

  37. Jimbro, I usually call them Rum n Coke, but this wknd I’m going Old School.

  38. Jim Harbaugh looks like he’s wearing a diaper.

  39. Pups, in low scoring games, what do you drink to?

  40. Fumbles on the one yard line.

  41. Quarters.

  42. Man, between the turnovers and the officials, it’s amazing Michigan isn’t getting killed.

  43. If JT could throw the ball we’d be up by 14. Many thanks to Jim Harbaugh for being a psycho, 7 points are on him.

  44. Today I want to coin a new phrase.

    The mainstream media forgot their journalism duties and shamelessly blurred the lines between reporting and advocacy. They created an echo chamber. Filled it with their slanted voices, heard the echoes, and convinced themselves that what they have is the truth.
    In short, they were smelling their own effluents and calling it fragrant.

    I dub mainstream journalism as –cue the music– Jenkem Journalism!

  45. *starts crafting Artisanal Jenkem for Tushar’s Secrete Santa gift

  46. Jesus, same exact play and it’s interference on Michigan, but not on OSU. SMH

  47. Ohio State got the benefit of every single call. Just ridiculous.

  48. Can’t win a game if the refs cheat against your team.


  50. Home cooking, baby.

    Your coach is a psycho, but you have one hell of a good team. Even though you suck and I hate you, good luck to Michigan, perhaps we shall meet again on a neutral field.

  51. GO SPARTY!


    man I’m kinda hammered

  52. *sigh* the rum last night turned out to be a very bad idea.

  53. If it was Mt. Gay Eclipse, it’s never a bad idea.

  54. If it was Captain Morgan, you’re a queer.

  55. It is when you end up acting like a jackass, piss off your friends, and then spend the night wrapped around the toilet.

  56. CA, you aren’t 18 anymore.

  57. Just don’t piss on your friends

  58. I don’t even know the name of the cheap rum I’m drinking. Bucks won. Castro is dead. Hillary will never be President. Fucking Ron Glass had to die. Tic Tac Toe Barney Miller you fucking ghouls

  59. Hotspur, I know.

  60. don’t be bashing captain Morgan, I like that. kraken too, but that’s expensive.

  61. I’ve got a bottle of Kraken in the basement (I hope) that I bought years ago. Still working off a bottle of Myer’s dark rum that’s lasted a while. I blame scotch. Specifically Balvenie Double Wood.

  62. Meyers Dark is crap.

    I like Cpt Morgan, Sailor Jerrys. Mrs. Pupster has been buying Plantation, Shipwreck, Cruzan…she likes Shipwreck the best. Mt. Gay is out of our budget, Bacardi and Malibu are crap.

  63. My fav is Koloa. Too expensive in the 48. The Lahaina we bought on Oahu was good, too. Not koloa good.

  64. Doorly’s 12 Year.

  65. Mare, if you decide Kauai for your 30, let me know. My ❤️

  66. CoAlEx knows

  67. Captain Morgan is bullshit.

  68. Oso, it was bad. The stuff was so good and smooooooth.

  69. Alex, I hear that your meeting with Pupster did not go too well.

  70. Sounds great! Cept for the deviant behavoir. What kinda ass did you show last nite? Know it all drunk? Kick everybodies ass drunk? The whole world can kiss my ass drunk?

  71. Honestly, I don’t know. I remember sitting around playing cards against humanity, and then I remember puking into the toilet, and nothing inbetween. My friend says that she cut me off and I got defiant, but didn’t elaborate.

  72. Alex, I like that you are open and honest about it. Apologize and hit confession this week.

  73. You got it, Oso. If you can believe it we still haven’t locked it down. We have actually decided on Christmas morning to leave (drive) that afternoon to Toas for 3 days of skiing.

    I’ve learned to go with the flow, but it’s taken about 30 years.

  74. Wow, watching the Notre Dame game. Knock a guy out, then kick him in the head. Classy, ND. That’s got to be targeting.

  75. Old school drinks of the week-hairy navel and a salty dog.

  76. Greetings, people who are hoping Raul follows quickly.

  77. Ron Glass died?? Are you fucking kidding me? I love that guy!

    2016 is a capricious bitch!!!

  78. OK guys. Set me straight.

    Has this been an unusually prolific year of many famous-people deaths?

    Or is this the kind of year that happens rather frequently when you get to a ‘certain age,’ because your childhood dies before you, and it just so happens that this is my first one such year?

    Hotspur, set me straight here. Is this normal for you?

  79. Ha! Lauraw!

    *suddenly realizes I’m old like Hotspur too*

    Pepe, don’t forget the part about stepping in the guy’s ankle.

  80. The Castro brothers are murdering scum, but hey, Obama, I’m sure the the people of Cuba appreciate your bullshit.

  81. Everybody Hotspur ever idolized died out around the time talkies came in.

  82. One fifth of Cuba’s population fled.

    Just imagine that. If one fifth of our population did that. Or even just your town. It’s mind boggling.

    Any time you hear how Castro did this wonderful thing or that; ask, “Why did he make leaving Cuba an illegal act?”

  83. Similar question: “If Cuba is so wonderful–the literacy rate! the healthcare!–and the U.S. is so awful, why aren’t people braving shark-infested waters to flee from Miami on rafts?”

  84. I just went to BBC and watched their little man-on-the-street interviews of Cubans in Cuba reacting to the death.

    These prisoner Cubanos are talking about how iconic Castro was, and how sad a loss. This is their Revolutionary hero and longtime leader. But they do not look sad.

  85. I’m going with your “certain age” theory Lauraw. As a kid I really had no idea who these famous people were and, besides, I was immortal! Who had time for things like death?

  86. Not sure how the ‘certain age’ theory holds though, man. There’s a lot of peeps older than me saying this has been quite an unusual year. But they’re not *that* much older than me. So it may just be a generational cohort thing.

  87. Lauraw, Abe Vigoda. (Drops 🎤)

  88. Comment by Car in on November 26, 2016 6:51 pm
    Old school drinks of the week-hairy navel and a salty dog.

    Sounds like you could use a good stiff puppyfoot. Maybe even a double.

  89. So far as I know, no 27-year-old rock stars have dropped dead this year, so there’s that.


  91. There are no 27 year old rock stars unless you listen to cats fucking.

  92. Scott knows his music.

  93. The “kids” on the classic rock station are in their 50’s.

  94. Dan usually drinks Salty Dogs. We rarely have rum on hand cuz the sugar. Worth the diabeetus

  95. GAH! My eyes! It’s the Wicked Witch of East Liverpool!

  96. There are ancient Indian chiefs at least a hundred years old that look younger than him, Scott.

  97. My mom has always been pro-castro and jelly of Cuban refugees. Messicans H8 Cubans. Mi familia has gone into hiding today.

  98. Anyone pro Castro is super asshole.

  99. Your mom prefers Castrol oils.

  100. Elsie. I think I’m leaning toward that.

  101. Elsie. Sounds like someone who would drive a Subaru.

  102. OSU tried to kill me. Kill me.

  103. Moose and Cow.

    That works.

  104. Best Buy fucked Oso. Lazy in store shopper. Looks like I won’t get cheap Star Trek Beyond

  105. The “kids” on the classic rock station are in their 50’s.

    I had a disconcerting experience the other day. I was out at an appointment, and they had K-EARTH, which is SoCal’s venerable oldies station on. I heard a whole block of songs between two commercial breaks, and for the first time I can recall, the majority of the songs they played were things I could clearly remember being around for when they were originally released.

    The most jarring of these was “Paradise City,” which is now 29 years old. To put that in perspective, someone who was my age in 1987 would perhaps have had a similar experience hearing this.

  106. I gave up on classic rock when FooFighters replaced Nirvana. Oso is old. Not MCPO old or Hotspur old.

  107. I gave up on classic rock when FooFighters replaced Nirvana. Oso is old. Not MCPO old or Hotspur old.

    Still preoccupied… with 1985?

  108. Thank you, Sean. Mr. RFH was asking me what I’d like for Christmas. Many eons ago, he pulled my favorite songs off an 8-track tape set of 50’s and 60’s hits onto cassette. “April in Portugal”, “Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White”, etc. Time to digitize it.

  109. “Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White” always makes me think of the movie Parents. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a fucked-up, underrated flick.

  110. Haven’t seen Parents.

  111. Did you ever notice that when you were dragged through the grocery store with your folks, as a child, that they played “Old People Music”?

    As I was grocery shopping yesterday, listening to Sting, Clapton, Knopfler, Phil Collins, and Huey Lewis it occurred to me that the children of today are thinking the same thing, as their folks drag them through Safeway…

  112. Sean,
    YES! Exactly…

  113. I sold my derp
    I sold my motor, too
    All I want is to be next to you
    I’d rob a bank
    Maybe steal a plane
    You took me over
    Think I’m goin’ insane

  114. oy!!

  115. Ww.

    You guys and your of music.

    /turns on Gish for the 4 millionth time this week

  116. Hillary politically dead.
    Castro actually dead.
    2017 is showing some promise.

  117. While the whole recount thing makes me wary I’m hoping that, in the end, it puts the final nail in Hillary’s political coffin. I’d make the same analogy for Fidel but he’s being cremated. His ashes will be scattered throughout millions of Cuban cigars for years to come as revenge on the Yanquis.


  119. I can’t believe they are actually going through with the recount. ANd I can’t believe “people” are donating money for this effort. How much Soros money is going into that.

    You’d think that “reporters” would be interested in where the money is coming from.

  120. Is it P-Day?

  121. Rocketboy is back on the road to school. Lost the gas cap when he filled up. smh

  122. 11/27/1095 – first crusade was declared

    and your mom first wore her combat boots

  123. A liberal on Facebook was commenting on how horrible the pipeline situation in North Dakota is. A friend (pretty liberal) who lives near there told him he was misinformed and offered to take him up to see the situation for himself. He declined because he “couldn’t afford to go”. They eventually offered a Bernie Sanders option and offered to pay his way to the protest. Still won’t go.

  124. T-minus 4 hours Scott.

  125. You might thinking 2016 was a horrible year.
    We lost a great deal of good people this year.
    But for the right leaning people, there were enough reasons to be happy as well.
    Brexit, Trump, Castro, Castration (Hillary’s).

    Imagine how bad it was for liberals! Everything that made us sad made them sad as well.
    But in addition, all the things that made us happy made them double sad.

    Is there anything this year (maybe apart from Scalia) that could have made them happy?

  126. The pipeline protests are the cause du jour for the protesting crowd. Occupy, BLM, the cause shifts but they have an innate need to vent their grievances, real and imagined. I have a feeling, had Hillary won, these protests would have fizzled out. Both because they’d have an ally in the WH and they would be too busy celebrating her and Bill.

    We even had our own version in the middle of Nowhere, Maine.

    Mandatory sage smudging ceremony happened before the mandatory traffic blocking ceremony outside Toys R’ Us.

  127. Looks like I have run out of work and will mostly be off for the next two weeks.

    It would be a perfect time to get a puppy.

    * starts truck *

  128. 30 mins

  129. I’m at a soccer game right now. Puppy is close though. 10 min from here, tops

  130. *checks bandana in mirror*

    *brushes teeth for 3rd time*

    So excited.

  131. Moose, meet Cow. Cow, this is your big brother Moose.

  132. Seen this a couple of times today

  133. Got my hair cut, stylist talked me into something new. Came home and nobody noticed.

  134. 11/27/1095 – first crusade was declared
    and your mom first wore her combat boots

    Michael Flynn needs to hurry up with the rest of his history of the Crusades.

  135. I made sliced avocado and tomatoes, English muffins, Bacon, Ham, and blackberry cream cheese spread , with a pitcher of fuzzy navel for brunch.

    Boyfriend thinks I’m a hero.

  136. It is Christmasy

  137. I made sliced avocado and tomatoes, English muffins, Bacon, Ham, and blackberry cream cheese spread , with a pitcher of fuzzy navel for brunch.

  138. >>I made sliced avocado and tomatoes, English muffins, Bacon, Ham, and blackberry cream cheese spread , with a pitcher of fuzzy navel for brunch.

    That is so gay.

  139. The end of the 49ers game was a joy to watch.

  140. gnu poat

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