Waiting For The Great Blumpkin

MJ is cooking something big up in an undisclosed location. I hear it involves Bloody Mary, power tools and a pumpkin. Whatever it is, we all offer up prayers for the safe passage of MJ to this corporeal world.

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52 Comments

  1. WITCH TITS!

  2. Which tits?

  3. Posted a new recipe on the recipe blog. It’s supposed to be a slow cooker recipe, but I made it in the time it took to boil water and cook the pasta.

  4. Witch!! Tits???

  5. Yesterday we learned that deer and cows eat meat.

    Baby birds, eggs, intestines….

    HA HA HA Stupid vegans.

  6. Pumpkins harvested, curing them on cardboard in the chicken coop up off the ground. Garlic planted in fresh-ly mounded compost in the garden.

    Had 20 pumpkins of harvestable size, most still seemed a little green. Popped the stem out of one by mistake, so it’s been cubed up for frying later. Flesh is bright orange, nice and firm, seeds and pith were very little of total volume, and really easy to separate for roasting.

  7. I eat meat to save ducklings.

  8. HA HA HA Stupid vegans.

    5 years of vegan eating shrinks average brain mass by 5%, so this isn’t wrong.

  9. I had no idea they ate meat.

  10. All primates do, though the amount varies. I’m a little surprised that deer and cattle do too, but I guess it makes sense.

  11. Grilled chicken in the rain. Looks like rain is going to continue through trick or treat prime time.

  12. *checks calendar*

    https://is.gd/3Z9eS0

  13. https://is.gd/NJMrfr

  14. blerg.

  15. Excellent poat, Jimbro.

  16. Food coma.

  17. Due to unforeseen beer, the pumpkin post has been delayed until tomorrow.

    Stay tuned.

  18. That beer was not unforeseen. I knew.

  19. *removes pumpkin costume*

  20. *removes pumpkin codpiece*

  21. *removes pump*

    *hump deflates*

  22. The serious journalists at buzzfeed crapped this piece out:

    Opening headline and sub head:

    ” 24 Totally Normal Hours On The Trail With Hillary Clinton”

    “The FBI, Anthony Weiner, Iowa, and big smiles: The weirdest and yet most normal day for a campaign and candidate almost bizarrely unfazed by crisis.”

    The closing lines:

    “7:12 p.m. Clinton heads for the exit. A reporter shouts one final question.

    “Are you worried this could sink your campaign, Secretary Clinton?”

    The candidate is almost out the door as she lets out one big, long laugh.”

    https://is.gd/lg9nm2

    -barfs

  23. Campaign promises

  24. *removes latex leotard*

    …..oops, wrong thread.

  25. Omgosh, Roamy, the comments by the dem dimshits in the article are hysterical. “THIS IS ILLEGAL!!”

  26. “7:12 p.m. Clinton heads for the exit. A reporter shouts one final question.

    “Are you worried this could sink your campaign, Secretary Clinton?”

    The candidate is almost out the door as she lets out one big, long laugh.”

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAhaaahaha-HA-HA-hahaheeeeeeooooAAAAH!!! That is hu-man laughter to indicate my lack of concern. End sequence.”

  27. We had a major carpet spill at work today. A quarter of a spool unrolled itself completely off onto the floor. That amount of carpet is heavy as fuck. I was helping a guy re-roll the carpet back on the spool. We were on either end, squashed between the cutting machine and the spool, manually holding back the carpet spool and trying to flip it backward as hard as we could. He was at the switch end, running the carpet cutting machine to feed in reverse a few feet at a time. Fun.

    So, naturally, at one point for some reason I put my right hand on top of the carpet machine near the roller, while I was pushing the spool back with my left hand. At that precise point, the guy hits the switch again, running more of the carpet back toward me…and my hand with it, under the roller.

    I jerked it out before it went too far, and only got a red wrist. I was impressed by the force of the compression but it did no real damage. Thank goodness the carpet had some pile to it so there was some give under there. If it was linoleum I’d be a hurtin’ unit.

    /hardware store tales of adventure

  28. Yikes. Glad you’re OK.

  29. https://is.gd/vmd7Kl

  30. Yikes is right. Whew!

  31. A-OK! I forgot about it immediately after it happened and for the rest of the day, until I just sat down now and saw that my hand is still red. Weird. It’s good to stay busy.

  32. Ditto what Pups said. I’m also glad–even though you’ve stopped trying to murder me–that you didn’t end up with a super-strong bionic claw.

  33. Heh.

    https://youtu.be/19i5ehy-f54

  34. It was a fucked up day overall. There was bitchery afoot, thither and yon.

    One customer was initially frustrated because I couldn’t produce a better tile-cutting bit for her dremel than the one she already has (they make one, but it is only meant to cut a notch, or a few inches, that’s it, and it takes a while. Because, it’s a fucking dremel, not a tile saw.).

    Come to find out, it’s my fault that a dremel tool is not going to allow her to rip a line through thirty pieces of 12×12 tile in anything like a reasonable amount of time. I had no idea.

  35. “Bitchery Afoot (Thither and Yon)” is the only Fleetwood Mac song I can tolerate. And only when I’m in exactly the right mood.

  36. Lindsey B sang his balls off on that one

  37. Oh, man, I had no idea that was what happened to them. The poor guy.

  38. What does Joe Buck do/say that people don’t like?

  39. He talks.

  40. The Taiwanese animators have a gread video speculating on what will happen if the Clintons get back in power.
    Slightly NSFW, but not Tushar level NSFW.

    https://is.gd/MtE0IS

  41. Glad you kept your hand lauraw.

  42. Joe Buck is just damned annoying. Unpleasant voice, too many cutesy little facts instead of calling the game. He got the job because his dad was a famous sports announcer. He’s better than Joe Morgan, but that’s not saying much.

  43. He ruins football games.

  44. I haven’t seen a baseball game in forever. Really didn’t know. Don’t remember being annoyed during a football game. I just know lots of people don’t like him.

  45. Tushar, the Taiwanese know exactly what they are doing. Must be a generally smart people.

  46. Glad you kept your hand lauraw.

    Oh, I was in no such danger of loss. Just a real bad booboo.

    When people die or get maimed at ______, it’s because somebody dropped a bunk of cinderblocks on them, or something like that. We don’t have any other machines on the floor that will chew a body up too badly.

  47. Joe Buck is far from my favorite sports announcer, but he’s actually a lot more tolerable since they separated him from Tim McCarver. Something about those two together was just fucking awful.

  48. We had Chinese (not Taiwanese) take out tonight and watched this B-List horror movie on netflix

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1958043/

    It was creepy at times but, in the end, a Blair Witch Project ripoff.

  49. New poatse.

  50. Okay, now that I understand. If I remember correctly, Tim Carver and Joe Buck together….not good, shady memories. But I don’t cringe when I hear Buck. But, again, haven’t listened to one game this year. Thanks, H2 for giving me the straight poop.


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