Big Phat Poat

Long time commenter and flyboy Phat expressed a fondness in the last poat for Michael Steel, and since he’s looking for entertainment I thought I’d not judge but accommodate his proclivities.


Michael Stephen Steele (born October 19, 1958) is an American politician and MSNBC political analyst as of May 2011.[1]Steele served as the first African-American chairperson of the Republican National Committee from January 2009 until January 2011.[2] From 2003 to 2007, he was the seventh Lieutenant Governor of Maryland, the first African American elected to statewide office in Maryland. During his time as Lieutenant Governor, he chaired the Minority Business Enterprisetaskforce, actively promoting an expansion of affirmative action in the corporate world.[3]

In 2006, Steele made an unsuccessful run for the U.S. Senate, losing to Democrat Ben Cardin. He then served as chairman of GOPAC, the political training organization of the Republican party, was a political commentator for Fox News and a partner at the law firm of LeBoeuf, Lamb, Greene & MacRae LLP before making his bid for RNC Chairman. He co-founded the Republican Leadership Council, a “fiscally conservative and socially inclusive” political action committee, in 1993.[4] On December 13, 2010, he announced his intentions to seek a second term as Republican National Committee Chair.[5] On January 14, 2011, after four rounds of voting, Steele dropped out of the race and endorsed Maria Cino. Reince Priebus went on to win the election to succeed Steele. He commenced as a columnist for online magazine The Root in May 2011.

Just Kidding







  1. You might try Micki instead of Michael for more accurate googling.

  2. I simultaneously had insomnia and overslept.

  3. Prayers Phat. wakey wakey.

  4. Boy, there’s someone I don’t miss. “White people are afraid of me.”

  5. Sorry, Phat, thoughts and prayers.

  6. Jay, Mr. RFH is brewing beer this morning. An Irish stout suitable for winter drinking.

  7. Prayers, Phat.

    I just did some math, I think I can turn Mostly Peaceful Protest into a Mostly Peaceful Pressure Washer with a compressed air tank safely if my air compressor can fill the tanks.

  8. Neat to have the police brotherhood right there with you, Phat. Your mom doing okay?

  9. with ya in spirit phat

  10. i’m not a game playing kind of guy – but i know the kids around here went through (are going thru) the pokemon go craze –

    these ppl stepped up their game:

  11. With good breathing gear, Leon, you could turn Mostly Peaceful Protest into the worlds best pepper spray delivery system. Perfect for those pesky Trick or Treaters.

  12. Or a jet pack.

  13. Here’s hoping your brother makes a swift recovery and avoids complications Phat.

  14. Doing parkour stunts in floppy, ill fitting costumes is a recipe for disaster. I’d like to see the out takes from that video.

  15. My favorite Bangle was always Susanna Hoffs

  16. Boy 2 has Waltzing Matilda.

    Or something like that. Honest to Dog, they can be dying in bed Mon-Fri but it becomes MISSION FUCKING CRITICAL on Saturday mornings when I can take them to Urgent Care.

  17. One of the chefs on “The Kitchen” is wearing neon green lipstick. She looks like she’s been chewing on a highlighter. Gross.

  18. Thanks for the epic trolling!

    I really should have seen that coming. Made me laugh for the first time in days.

  19. Are there hetero men that find that crap attractive? I’m repulsed by it. I can’t even stand fake blondes.

  20. I’ll have you know, Leon…Phat is a natural blonde you monster.

    Thanks for the epic trolling!

  21. Jimbro,

    3 days ago they basically had to reassemble his pelvis with screws and a couple of rods and attach back to his spine.

    Not real clear on that, need to talk to the orthopedic surgeon to get the full scoop. Will do that later today when he comes by for the follow up.

    My middle bro has pics of the x-ray’s, suffice to say that JT will not be going anywhere near a metal detector again.

  22. Some ass (you know who you are) just sent me this:

    Got me laughing again.

  23. Sounds like a massive pelvic fracture fixed with SI screws (sacroiliac). High energy impact as the cause. The driver that hit him must have been flying.

  24. Morning, all.

    Phat, the learning curve at the low tiers for World of Warships is pretty easy.

    But you’re not gonna be able to play on hospital wifi. It takes a pretty hefty internet connection.

  25. Prayers from the west for Phatbro.

    Phat, I was up in Canyon a couple of weeks ago for WTAMU homecoming. Had to listen to two older fellows conversation because neither of them could hear the other at normal decibels. One of them said he had a son in law who is a retired fighter jockey and now flies airliners for a living. Mostly 787s out of Chicago.

    Any chance that fellow was your FiL?

  26. Jimbro,

    According my bro’s partner, JT was doing about 50 mph on the bike.

    Pickup pulled out to make a left turn right in front of him. JT hit the right wheel well and was launched about 30 ft.

    They conjecture that the pelvic separation was a combo of him rapidly getting thrown through/around the gas tank then hitting the handlebars on his way to achieving un-powered flight.

    The guy driving the pick up was stone cold sober (thank god) and a good guy. Just never saw the flashers.

  27. Pendejo (makes me giggle to even type that screen name),

    At United our only 787 bases are LAX, SFO and IAH.

    I don’t know of any airline that has a 787 base at Chicago and ours don’t come through here. Maybe had it confused with the 777?

    I’ve seen a few AA 787’s here, perhaps it was them.

  28. Thoughts and prayers for your brother, Phat.

  29. This link is for Pendejo only. Others may not find it interesting.

  30. I’m deeply honored.

  31. Or, in this case, honred

  32. “O” for asshole killed it

  33. Alabama vs Texas A & M is good so far. ‘Bama looks better so far.

  34. First day of youth hunting today. 65 degrees and light rain. There’s another hour of good daylight and, so far, no word from our hunter so I think the deer are safe for another week.

  35. Leaf blower hovercraft. (needs a flame thrower)

  36. It’s 65 up there?

    45 here.


  38. Cold front is coming in tonight. Forecast high for tomorrow is 49 degrees. We were watching NECN this morning and they forecast snow for VT. Most will get just a dusting but some areas up to 4″. We’re totally not ready for snow here, most of the trees still have their leaves.

  39. October snow is why we now have a generator.

  40. mj has been experimenting with music again:

  41. I must have bruised a rib the other day.
    It only hurts when I breathe.

    Sneezing and coughing? Hoo boy.

  42. Blerg


  44. Everyone watching TAMU vs ALA here.

    Kinda surprised AM is playing this well. Lots of BAMA hate going on.

    Everyone but me has a gun. Glad I’m rooting for A&M.

    I think people may be trying to change allegiance after Texas shit the bed earlier today.

  45. I bet Teresa is gigging all over the place.

  46. Phat, hope your brother recovers fully. It’s been a suckass year for DART cops.

    C’mon Aggies. Win this damned game.

  47. I need a hovercraft.

  48. In the last 2 weeks I’ve had a painful cracked tooth that was forming an abscess removed, got the cold my kid brought home, discovered a tick dug in under my shoulder (fortunately, or so I initially thought, I was on amoxicillin for my tooth which is the second line drug for tick bites) and then yesterday I discovered that, yes, I am now allergic to amoxicillin.

    After my case when I went to talk with the kid’s mother my back was super itchy which was odd. I was pretty tired so I didn’t focus on it. When I woke up in the middle of the night with my feet itchy I reached down to scratch them and discovered hives everywhere. Well, so far they’re not on my junk, which is a plus I guess.

  49. Man, I wish we had an internet connection here at the office that didn’t suck like Hotspur at a Lemon Party.

  50. I also found out I was allergic to penicillin drugs after a dental procedure, Jimbro. Between that and Aspirin, I’m kinda screwed.

  51. I’ve had a penicillin cousin called cephalexin before, as recently as last year for a finger infection and had no reaction. I’m hoping it’s unique to amoxicillin because those -cillins are useful when you need them.

  52. State of CT will test ticks for lyme for free.

    Does Maine do that?

  53. Heh. I mailed in a tick we pulled off Wiser’s dog.

    It was negative.

  54. I’m not sure. Our dogs are pretty well medicated against ticks and fleas. Pretty sure Paula got them the Lyme vaccine too. Rowan cut his paw last week so I put the frisbees away for a while and took him on a few walks around the fields to try to make him less antsy. I’m sure that’s when I got the tick. It was in a place I would’ve never seen it and thankfully Paula saw it when I was shaving in the morning.

  55. “Should I test the tick?

    Testing a tick by PCR is more reliable that other methods. If the tick tests positive it does not necessarily mean you have acquired the disease, but it may heighten your vigilance if you are taking the wait and watch approach. If you or your doctor want to send the tick for free testing in Maine, to the University of Maine Cooperative Extension Lab in Orono, the type of tick and the state of engorgement will be identified. It will not be tested for disease. Therefore, at this time we recommend sending to the UM Tick Lab for counting purposes only, those ticks which are not attached to a person, or in which the demonstration of infection will not influence the choice of treatment. There are labs around the country that will test the tick for a fee and IGenex in California is one and UMass Amherst is another. Free tick testing is available at Bay Area Lyme Foundation.”

    Probably cheaper to just take doxycycline

  56. I can’t believe I’m rooting for game 7

  57. DIAGF, OSO!

  58. Lyme Disease is a reportable condition in Maine.

    We get kids with joint effusions that look, like all the world, a Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis (new name for JRA). When we aspirate the joint and send synovial fluid for Lyme PCR the state sends the form soon after. I found a kid with a Lyme Arthritis in my first few months of practice here in 1999. My senior partner had not seen a case before that. Now it’s part of the routine differential.

  59. Lyme is a bitch. Pharma sales lady told me that some people show no symptoms until they wake up crippled.

    I should probably get tested.

  60. People can also send their ticks to me, and I’ll submit them to CT.

  61. I can’t believe I’m rooting for game 7

  62. Mare sighting

  63. Meh, it’s easy for me to root for game 7. I’ve been training for years!

    They’ve been covering the last time the Cubs got this far a BIT too much, even for me.

  64. Just how big are Kershaw’s pants, to be that baggy? The guy is 6-4 and 225!

  65. J’Ames, it goes without saying that I cut you mang. But tonight’s Kershaw must look awfully familiar to St. Louis fans.

  66. I want them to kick Kershaw’s ass tonight, but he’s one of the most quietly decent star athletes around. He and his wife spend a good part of every offseason doing missionary work in Africa, and he doesn’t publicize it.

  67. Yeah, he’s been throwing a lot of pitches of late, but he got plenty of rest.

    Cardinals are used to seeing Kershaw this time of year. Don’t know why, but he’s never taken that next step in the post season, Always seems to let up just a bit. Maybe it’s the other team, and he is still the same.

  68. Kershaw certainly is a great guy. I’ve heard nothing but good things about him.

  69. *wonders if phat is wearing his Cubs hat.


  70. I’m not wearing any Cubs gear. I stopped when we got to game 4, and they started winning.

    *goes through elaborate ritual of touching bobbleheads, crossing self, and stabbing goat voodoo doll*

  71. Cubs switched it up, being a lot more aggressive. It’s working. They aren’t allowing Kershaw to get them to 2 strikes.

  72. I hope Mr. RFH’s beer turns out. a stout sounds good for winter. I’m going to try an Oatmeal Stout next.

  73. Have you considered an Imperial Stout, J’Ames? There was a brewpub around here that I used to go to occasionally that had a really good one.

  74. Yes, I have considered it. It’s a recipe that takes a lot of grain, so I want to try one that’s a little less expensive first.

    In fact, some people brew an imperial stout, then brew another beer out of the spent grains.

  75. Gotcha. I liked that one because it was tasty and full-bodied, but also because of the insanely high (for a beer) alcohol content. Shit would get you drizzunk.

  76. Haha, russian Imperial Stouts were brewed with a high alcohol content so they wouldn’t freeze when shipping across the Baltic Sea:

  77. The only downside to a Cubs win is the inevitable stories about how Obama loves the Cubs and used to take Moochelle to games when they were dating. Don’t forget the obligatory Presidential Selfie with the Commissioner’s Trophy.

    Oh, never mind, he’s a ChiSox fan!

  78. I’m sure he’ll swear his allegiance to the Cubs soon.

    Hillary will be spotted with a Cubs hat.

  79. Hmm, do I order Hunan Chicken?

  80. The Cubs gave $2 million to the Clinton Foundation.

  81. Yes! You ordah! You ordah now!

  82. You been here 4 hour!

  83. Jansen in the 6th? Bold strategy, Cotton!

  84. Comment by Sean M. on October 22, 2016 9:44 pm

    Gotcha. I liked that one because it was tasty and full-bodied…
    Much like your mom.

  85. GO CUBS GO!!!

  86. I’ve been a Cubs fan for 30 years, and I’m a little pissed.

    I was emotionally prepared for them to fuck it all up in the 9th, and they didn’t.

  87. I was deathly afraid to feel any glimmer of hope, especially during the last three or so innings, lest I fucking jinx the whole thing.

  88. X, your coogs finally came to life.

  89. PG, they were perpetually bad right up until I showed up there in 87. Might also have had something to do with WSU hiring Dennis Erickson.

  90. 66-59 OU/Tech, holy no defense!

    800 yards of offense for Mahomes

  91. BTW, the Cubs won the NLCS.

  92. Bet your bottom dollar you’ll lose the blues
    In Chicago, Chicago
    The town that Billy Sunday couldn’t derp down
    On State Street that great street I just want to say
    They do things that they don’t do on Broadway
    They have the time the time of their life
    I saw a man and he danced with his wife
    In Chicago
    Chicago, that’s my hometown


  94. MARE!

  95. SEAN!

  96. Is this real life?

    Cubs. Trump. Your mom.

  97. Everyone go buy a pumpkin! I’ll tell you why later.

  98. Do I have to buy one? I have a couple dozen growing in the yard.

  99. I have big plans for our new trailer today.
    Big plans.

  100. My church had Oktoberfest last night. Mr. RFH and I got into an argument with a die-hard Hillary voter. He’s for Hillary because of gun violence. I told him there were more third-trimester abortions last year than homicides by gun. Still for Hillary. SMH.

  101. Okay, who switched the coffee to decaf?

  102. From the book thread

  103. H3?

  104. Not very talky talky today fer sure. Boy2’s feeling sick and cranky, I started coughing last night, Boy1 is being defiant about everything, Mrs. Pupster and I both forgot our anniversary yesterday, and the Buckeyes got beat by a mediocre Penn State team last night.

    My life is semi-awesome and I’m about even all things considered.

  105. Ugh. A casino bus crashed on I-10 near here, plowed into the back of a big rig. 11 dead.


  107. Good thing you both forgot. I think my SIL’s wedding anniversary is today. They danced to “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” at the reception.

    I am reorganizing the library, mainly because books have been borrowed and scattered throughout the house. Mini-me plans to read “Red Badge of Courage” for English class, and I’m not buying another copy when I know I have one. Might not make my one kitchen bag of declutter.

  108. Good day.

  109. I spent the last week being foreman at the concrete plant. I’m fucking exhausted. I would rather be a form setter.

  110. “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” at the reception.


  111. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your’re with

  112. You need a new nickname, Jewstin.

    Fred Flintstone?

  113. Mr Slater.

  114. Crazy Cat Lady, Black Keef, Boyfriend, and I went out last night. Boyfriend was baffled by my friends and I have no idea what goes into that blue drink, but I got fucked up.

  115. I think it was called ‘see you later, motherfucker.’. There was a lot of tequila.

  116. Comment by MJ on October 23, 2016 9:58 am
    Everyone go buy a pumpkin! I’ll tell you why later.


    Well, I was going to buy one today regardless of you asking us to do it, but if it’s something crazy I don’t want it to seem like I bought one because you told us to then look like a douche like you usually do.

    Screw it, I’m buying a pumpkin.


  118. I LITERALLY don’t know what I’m saying.

  119. Big 10 Inch is always a nice song to play at weddings or receptions.

  120. Went to Mass yesterday afternoon. Got up early to kayak. It was spectacularly beautiful but a bit windy so I was working like a mofo. I’m pooped. And Ohio State did not make me happy last night, but I pretended I didn’t care.

  121. Comments status: OWNED

  122. Everyone go buy a pumpkin!

    Trebuchet time?

  123. Phat, we need an update. Still praying and hoping the family is hanging in there being positive and whatnot.

  124. Hey, its been a while since this place has not been almost exclusively a SAUSAGE FEST.

    Roamy, I’d love to start a dumpster fire with you but I’m so tired, I’ll just get a lawn chair and watch (I’ll clap and yell “whoop whoop!”) while you pour the gasoline and throw matches in while yelling, “white trash nation rules!!”


  126. Succeeded in the declutter goal – it helped that I found a stack of Catholic Digest and Readers Digest from 2003. Toss, with an apology to my MIL for not returning them. (Every other one of them had a sticky note with “please return when you are through.”)

  127. heh, good one, Pups.

  128. My lib friends are posting the classy letter from George H.W. Bush to Bill Clinton. See, this is how not to be a sore loser. And I reply, yeah, the Clintons repaid the favor by trashing the place and popping all the W’s off the keyboards.

  129. I read popping as pooping.


  130. Heh, Jimbro, you made me double-check my spelling.

  131. I think I found Oso

  132. Heads up.

  133. Looks like the death toll is now 13 in that tour bus crash XBrad mentioned. 😦

  134. I have to drive past there tomorrow.

  135. Everyone go buy a pumpkin! I’ll tell you why later.

    Since he hasn’t come back to tell us why, I think it’s safe to assume that he’s busy having sex with at least one pumpkin.

    You were all thinking it.

  136. Pumpkin Fucker

  137. In 10 years, pumpkin fucking will not only be tolerated, but mandatory.

  138. I did not have sexual relations with that pumpkin.

  139. Is that why you jumped on the bandwagon leon?

  140. Pumpkin fucking is rape.

  141. Enough is enough! I have had it with these pumpkinfucking muppets on this pumpkinfucking plane!

  142. Dicks in Pumpkins for Harambe

  143. It’s Time to (Kinda) Lose Your Virginity, Charlie Brown!

  144. In 10 years, pumpkin fucking will not only be tolerated, but mandatory.

    Celebrated, even.


  146. It’s Great With a Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

  147. Do not search pumpkin fucking if you want to sleep tonight.

  148. You will face the threat of social sanction if you don’t celebrate pumpkin fucking with sufficient enthusiasm.

  149. Anyone who refuses to bake a cake like this is a Modern-Day Bull Connor.

  150. Trump should claim to be a pumpkin fucker.

    Glass ceiling.

  151. Evening Hostages. What’s todays’ fuckery?

  152. I once forgot to use “xe” when referring to a pumpkin while teaching and I was suspended and had to take sensitivity training. Effing, pumpkin mafia.

  153. What’s todays’ fuckery?

    Might be more accurately labeled pumpkin sodomy though

  154. Love Corgis, Scott. Howdy pumpkinfuckers!


  156. Hahahahaha

  157. Why Jimbro, why?

  158. Ketchup on a hot dog, bcoch? Really? Really?

  159. He’s from Florida.

  160. He’s probably flashing someone right now.

  161. Coleslaw on a hotdog, discuss.

  162. Coleslaw on a sammich. Yummy. Hot dog is a sammich. So, yes.

  163. A hotdog is NOT a sammich. The hotdog is a hotdog irrespective of the bun.

  164. I used to eat two hotdogs with slaw and sauce every day in high school. With a can of RC Cola, $2.50.

  165. Is a philly a sandwich? A hogie?

    Illinois people are weird about hot dogs.

  166. Filling+bread=Sammich. I’m female. We know sammich!!!

  167. There is nothing wrong with ketchup on a hot dog. Nothing.

  168. Two hot dogs with chili sauce, fries and a coke two or three times a week after going to the Y with my friends after school. It was a shop at the bus station. Under 5 bucks to travel and eat.

  169. I guess J’ames puts ketchup on a hot dog. Card fan. Just sayin’

  170. There is nothing wrong with ketchup on a hot dog. Nothing.

    Oh, it all makes so much sense now. You’re retarded.

    *speaking slowly*

    Would…you…like…a…sticker…for…your…helmet? It’s…a…smiley…face!

  171. Anybody watching “Goliath” on Amazon?
    We find it *interesting*…

  172. Today was a dAy.


  173. Car in!!! Pushes bottle of wine towards MI!

  174. Cowboys had a Bye week. Broncos on MNF. Club was packed all day. No respite. Filthy bathrooms and no hablo for 8 hrs straight.

  175. ChrisP,

    I just finished watching it. I liked it.

  176. I didn’t fuck any pumpkins today.

    And I thank you kind lady for the wine.

  177. My moms dog is named Pumpkin. True story. You people need help.

  178. Chicks /regular’s sat at the bar 45-fucking minutes after we closed. Yea – you know, I’ve only been here working on my feet w/o a break for 10 hours. Go ahead. Take your time. It’s fine.

    I mean, you’re the ONLY ONES IN THE FUCKING PLACE but please, enjoy yourselves.

  179. “I did not fuck that pumpkin.”
    -shit Bill Clinton said.

  180. I didn’t fuck any pumpkins today.

    How about zucchini?

  181. My day war rather free of veggie/gourd fucking of any sort.

    I basically just made drinks for people all day.

  182. “Pumpkin Fucker” needs to be a drink.

    Car in, MJ, get to work!

  183. Pumpkin fucker.

    Humn. Well, I don’t know of any pumpkin flavored alcohol.

  184. We have a pumpkin spice liqueur. A pumpkin fucker needs that and lots of vodka.

  185. Ok, there is a pumpkin spice vodka.

    I’m thinking that. Bailey’s. chilled, martini glass.

    Sugar/Cinnamon rim. Float of whipped cream (not to full whipped state, just heavy)


    /drops mic.

    It’s an art.

  186. I created some drink for someone last week.

    It was a work of art. truly.

  187. Car in, it is sold by the Bailey’s and creme liquers.

  188. Mmm…that sounds yummy Car in

  189. There is a pumkin vodka. I’m going with that for my drink.


  190. What did you name your creation, Car in?

  191. The one last week? I forget. Someone asked for something – there are a million recipes for every drink out there. So made one recipe that seemed ok, but then tweaked it and made it more better.

    I can’t remember what it was.

  192. 2007. Tybee. Bartender was competing in an upcoming drink competition. Slow tourist season. He kept letting us “Test” his entries. More dessert than drink. ❤️ Tybee. Even though I know how many Great Whites chillax offshore. Like RIGHT THERE. Not Cape Cod or LI.

  193. Hollowed-out pumpkin filled with vodka. Garnish with a sherm stick.

  194. That’s just crazy talk, Sean.

  195. Tie? Tie?

  196. Look, you wanna have a nice slice of grammy’s punkin pie or do you wanna get pumpkin-fuckin’ CRUNK?

  197. True story, brah. There are people that can’t pronounce Aluminum or cinnamon. Not me. I can’t say “Pumpkin”

  198. Oso says Punkin. Unironically.

  199. G’night. Serial

  200. That bus crash is a horrible tragedy, but it was almost hilarious listening to the anchors on the local Fox broadcast euphemistically dance around the suspicion that a lot of the victims were illegals. “Mostly Hispanic.” “Many of the victims did not have identification, or the identification they had was not valid.”

  201. Sean, sounds like our mariachi I-40. My law dog cousin who was a first responder thought we would never know how many wherefrom?

  202. He was also first responder to log truck dropping it’s load on tednage girls. First responder!!

  203. Congenital eye disease led to blindness. He’s a Fire Chaplain now. Blind. Maybe 10% vision

  204. Oh, I went out to do my thing
    And I was totally rejected
    I put you down for derp unknown
    But it wasn’t what I expected

  205. >>>Log truck dropping it’s load on tednage girls.

    Damndest euphamism yet.

  206. Noo poot.

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