Impossible Things

I’ve been thinking a lot about how impossible things can sometimes happen.

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That’s all I got today. Hopefully MJ adds some political commentary because, unlike the rest of you cretins, I actually enjoy reading his alt-right Pepe The Frog-loving spew. After Debate #3 (Vegas Baby!) everyone should know the candidates all too well. How many October surprises does the Clinton Machine have left?

187 Comments

  1. Primo, cabrones.

  2. Still dark. Waiting for light so I can cook the pepper sauce down.

  3. are you wearing a witches hat? and a respirator?

  4. I’m waiting for light to see if your mom is still breathing.

  5. You want to know how bad Megan Kelly has worn out her welcome? She lost last week in the ratings to Rachel Maddow.

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  6. No respirator, hoping the breeze will be enough.

  7. Steady rain for the day. Awesome.

  8. So, how was the debate last night? It was over by the time I got home.

  9. I’m watching the Kelly/ Brazille interview.

  10. O ther than a few sound bites I didn’t hear much about the debate. The conclusion is foregone: prepare yourself for President Pickles and years of Wimmin Power.

  11. Pickles won it, sounding confident, while lying about The Clinton Foundation and deflecting the O’Keefe videos. Wallace had her back, attacking Cheeto with The Trump Foundation, which evidently spent some money on lawyers at one time.

  12. but burkas are ok

  13. Kelly lost to Maddow? Wow, it’s worse than I thought. Must be a lot of pissed off Donald fans watching Faux News.

  14. Heh, no shit, jam.

  15. You know, eyeglasses aren’t in the bible, but burkhas are!

    How the hell do you spell burkas? Oh.

  16. I think people really hate Hilllary. They hate her more than they know about Trump. Podesta is evil level: Soros.

  17. Too bad there aren’t enough people that hate Hillary.

  18. Where’s MJ? I need the Pepe The Frog overview.

  19. i’ve seen it spelled “fuq-u-jihadi-invader”….

    but that may have been from an Australian/English dickshunry

  20. Who’s the girl in the Vegas Baby pic, with Elvis? Looks familiar, but just can’t name her.

  21. Ann Margaret

  22. Everyone should watch the Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Teaser trailer for a break. It’s fun.

  23. Happy Birthday, Cyn! G’morning Hostages! Thanks, J’ames. I think I’ll watch it AGAIN!!! Squeeeee

  24. Something tells me ‘wimmin power’ will not apply to women like me, or Carin.

  25. Especially Carin.

  26. Time for Pence to take the marquee spot on the ticket with a VP candidate to be named later. He’d win in a landslide. Oh, wait…ballots are already printed and, in many cases, cast.

    I’ve already voted. Same day as I registered my truck at the town office. Two women wearing sensible shoes with short haircuts who arrived in a Subaru cast their ballots at the same time, negating my efforts just like that I’m sure.

  27. But that goes without saying.

  28. The only women that matter are the ones who call things “problematic” unironically, and are engaged in the fight against the patriarchy.

  29. Maine has 6 ballot questions and I’m sure they’ll all swing the way the lefties want

    Q1: Marijuana…duh
    Q2: Tax the wealthy for schools…duh
    Q3: Expand background checks on firearm transfers…duh
    Q4: Increase minimum wage…duh
    Q5: Ranked choice voting…really not sure how that affects me or my candidates. Probably adversely if the Dems want it.
    Q6: Bonds for infrastructure…sure, why not? Who pays taxes!

    Why don’t the citizen’s initiative questions ever limit government?

  30. I can’t believe Jimbro stereotypes like that.

    *shuns

  31. Is Jill on the ballot in Maine? Lots of lesbarus and berniebots in NM with Jill bumperstickers and yardsigns.

  32. Q5: Ranked choice voting…really not sure how that affects me or my candidates. Probably adversely if the Dems want it.

    You know all those elections where the guy nobody really wants somehow manages to get the nod anyway because all the opposition was split over a half-dozen or more candidates? It’s supposed to minimize that. It also keeps the need for runoff elections down (thus the other name, “Instant-Runoff Voting”.

    But SF and Oakland and a few other joints use it locally, so who can say.

  33. Women power means you use your vagina to scare men, I think. And your uterus.

  34. I’m not a feminist because:

    1) I’m married
    2) 5 children
    3) I garden and cook unironically
    4) I’m a waitress, but don’t vote democrat (which means I’m probably stupid)

  35. Why would it apply to me?

  36. The only reason we’re around is to safeguard the uterus, and your choice.

    Duh.

  37. But, minimum wage, Car in!

  38. I make more (way more) on tips when delivering than wage. But that’s none of my business.

  39. Horses don’t vote.

  40. But they probably will, inside four years.

  41. Listen, I’m operating on very little sleep right now.

  42. Undocumented equine rights!

  43. I saw a tweet about the debate that said “women (and anyone with a uterus) should be offended by Trump’s ‘nasty woman’ comment”.

    Look kid, I know you think that operating a computer means you’re smart, but you’re wrong about a lot of things, including the self-assessment of intellect. There are women without uteri, but these are generally those who’ve had a hysterectomy. There is no one with a uterus who is not a woman.

  44. I need absentee ballots for my horses. They are both over 18.

  45. Umm, leon, that’s not cis-friendly.

    *puts leon in timeout

  46. 5) I like men
    6) I’d rather study real history instead of feel-good narratives about the contributions of “minorities” and women
    7) I believe women and girls hold a bit of responsibility for their sexual safety.

  47. 8) i believe that men are, and will always be, stronger than women. (women have better endurance and are better multi-taskers. )

  48. 9) for whatever reason, men make/produce better rock music.

  49. My chances for ever running for any office are dwindling with each addition to this list.

  50. Wait, men are better at rock? What about Queen? Queens of the Stone Age?

    Huh? What about that?

  51. Horses don’t vote.

    That does make sense.

  52. I’m listening to QOTSA right now. Pretty much have been all morning.

    It’s got my testosterone up.

  53. WTF is wrong with Madonna?

    “If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob. OK?” the 58-year-old Rebel Heart singer told an audience at New York’s Madison Square Garden Tuesday night. “I’m really good. I’m not a douche, and I’m not a tool. I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact, and I do swallow.””

    First of all – gross. Second of all, if she’s so freakin awesome at this skill, remind me again of how many failed relationships she’d had?

    EIther she’s lying, or she’s such a HORRIBLE person that even this quality isn’t enough for a man to put up with her.

  54. Ditto, exactly what Carin listed, however, I would say women hold a lot more responsibility for their sexual safety than a “bit.” And I bet Carin does too.

    I’m not sure when it started but I’m actually starting to think women are nuts. Too many feels. And I don’t understand (at all) the whole, “I need to empower my vagina” crap. I thought a women’s vagina had power enough over men and were pretty well loved by men too (gays being the exception). Have these women not read history? Had a boyfriend? Been married? Watched TV? Seen a movie?

  55. Madonna is a perpetually disgusting wreck of a human being. I suspect she’s only offering because no one has asked in years.

  56. Madonna, an old haggish bitch who is still grasping for attention and relevancy. Failing miserably.

  57. I love women, I really do, but I think universal suffrage has been a disaster.

  58. Even her son doesn’t like her…or at least doesn’t want to live with her because she uses him as a prop on stage.

  59. I’m not saying it should only be men, either. I still think we should restrict the franchise to the parents of adult non-felons.

  60. If my dad were Guy Ritchie and my other home choice involved even listening to Madonna albums I know where I’d go.

  61. Leon, I have to agree. If it makes you feel any better I raised two female conservatives. Really, it was more about taking your feelings out of stuff other than kittens, sunsets and hugs.

    That list may be a bit incomplete. Maybe. Not sure.

  62. Leon, Pat made the point the other day about female suffrage, and I pointed out that MOST of the conservative I know – both here/internet and the big media names – it is mostly MEN who make up the Never Trumpers. People I love and respect. But I don’t know a single female conservative who is never trump.

    I find that interesting.

  63. Carin, that is interesting. Never thought about that…

  64. Also – Mare regarding women being responsible for their sexual safety – you do have to take into account that men are simply stronger than women. A woman on a date who goes to far but then vigorously says no … she is still raped.

    There is a line regarding this I won’t cross. But what women wear, say, do … they have responsibility. They can keep themselves safe. But in the end, a man is stronger.

  65. To explain it better – a woman who behaves foolishly puts herself at risk, the rape is still on the man ultimately. Women bear the responsibility for that RISK. But if she is grabbed or given a drug or unconscious – etc … she is still raped.

    Women need to learn that men are dangerous and often want one thing. We used to know that.

  66. Situational awareness is everyone’s job.

  67. One of my college rooms mate was raped – at gun point – walking to her car at an airport.

  68. Men also used to be men. They were tempered by good women who encouraged them with the idea that the goodies weren’t handed out for free.

  69. 10) women shouldn’t dress like sluts in public and not expect to be treated as such

  70. As a man, I’m not likely to be raped. I’m much more likely, however, to be the victim of homicide or assault and battery to grievous injury. We would properly consider a man who ignores that fact and perpetually walks into obviously dangerous situations to be an idiot.

  71. One of my college rooms mate was raped – at gun point – walking to her car at an airport.

    That’s awful.

  72. The trick the left uses is to say, “Oh, so you’re saying she DESERVED to get raped?!” No, no one “deserves” to be raped. But that doesn’t change that a woman may have acted stupidly by going alone to a party, taking a drink from a stranger, and going up to a room alone with him.

  73. In the words of William Munny, “Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.”

  74. It’s all or nothing arguments from the left, and it works for them.

    Because we are concerned with the amount of welfare, that means we hate poor people.

    Because we think Planned Parenthood shouldn’t be publicly funded, we are against women’s cancer treatments.

    Doesn’t always have to relate, but this is the theme every election season.

  75. William Munny knew shit.

  76. HTF after videos of the goules at PP selling baby parts were released, did we not get PP publically defunded? Thanks, GOP!! Let skanks like Lena Dunham sponsor them.

  77. The GOP establishment doesn’t like Planned Parenthood, but they want abortion legal in case their daughters get knocked up by the wrong sort of boy while at college.

  78. GOP establishment wants to keep as many votes as they can, so they straddle the fence.

    What they don’t count on is losing votes from both sides.

  79. Straddle it long enough and eventually something will come along and knock you off of it. There’s a law enforcement rubric that I just learned recently that I like a lot: ask, tell, make. It’s the order of escalation with a suspect or anyone currently engaged in a criminal activity. Mitt was the ask. Trump is tell. What comes next is bad news all around.

  80. I am now out in my yard cooking under my popup shelter. I am not supposed to leave the cooker unattended.

  81. Be a rebel. Step away. You got shit to do.

  82. I have, in fact, left it unattended. I needed to send an email for work and then I’m going back out.

  83. *calls the authorities

    *notices the number is the same for the people who remove mattress tags.

  84. I think people really hate Hilllary.

    America’s Ex-Wife?

    The Hell You Say.

  85. Back in the yard with a lawn chair and my note pad. Going to try and get some preliminary design work thought through before I write code.

    Honestly this is pretty awesome other than leaning over it to stir.

  86. I heard a blurb this morning on people being studied for stress reactions during the debate.

    All I could think was “This is news? People tune in and America’s ex-wife looks them in the eye and lies lies lies to them, and someone is surprised that this is a stressful experience?”

  87. Oh man, I’m still on WiFi!

    *moves rest of office*

  88. Honestly this is pretty awesome other than leaning over it to stir.

    Make sure that none of the asbestos flakes off of the stirring instrument while you use it. You don’t need mesotheleoma from flakes of asbestos filling in the holes in your digestive tract made by the pepper sauce.

  89. Ain’t no way

    Rasmussen was wrong in 2012, 2008 too, right?

  90. Dammers BisW killed it……

    Drum roll please……………

    Today I am a Grandfather. Boy 8lbs 14oz 10 fingers 10 toes. Healthy.

    Please welcome Thor Meier (his real name isn’t thor, its just what I call him)

  91. Congrats, GRANDPA!

    Why not Bob? No one ever makes up the name Bob.

  92. Congrats to Thor on Thorsday!

  93. Bob is his great grandfather.

    All I know is I’m going to teach this kid to be a deplorable pussy grabbing gun shooting bimbo dicker.

  94. Woot! Gratz Grampa Troy!

  95. Great news, Terribletroy!! Congrats!

  96. Everybody gets to be a grandpa except me. **pouts**

    Not really, I hear that shit can get expensive.

  97. My fucking comma key obviously doesn’t work, it couldn’t possibly be operator error (ignore that comma in the last sentence)….

  98. Two pieces of pork belly are in the fridge, commencing their journey to beauty and joy. The smaller piece is the jalapeno bacon. Let you know how it turns out.

  99. COngrats TT.

  100. I’m not a grandparent either. Right now, i consider that a success. but if the situation doesn’t change in a few years, we’ll move that over to the failure column.

  101. I should have cooked it down just a little longer or bought more little jars. I ended up with more than 14 4oz jars’ worth and had to make a pint jar.

    Canning now.

  102. I’m making chicken legs wrapped in bacon for dinner tonight. ANyone try this? how did it turn out?

  103. *reminds self to NOT accept any jars of “salsa” from Leon when I drop off books

  104. I’ve had chicken wrapped with bacon, and it’s good. Not just legs, but why wouldn’t it work?

    I used the smoker, then crisped up the bacon on the gas grill before serving.

    Also, bacon wrapped hot dogs.

  105. Just don’t take the ones where the glass is melting.

  106. Men’s club at church is about to do the annual chili cook-off.

    Pretty sure entering with something from the odd half-pint I ended up with in a pint jar would constitute mortal sin.

  107. Just saw someone post on facebook, pick who you are voting for, A for Trump, B for Hillary, and C for other. It’s all A and C, and I did NOT expect that on this person’s feed.

  108. heh, that reminds me of my favorite chili story.

  109. Yeah, those Catholics aren’t very adventurous, are they? But they are better than Lutherans!

  110. Maybe I can sufficiently dilute it with meat and massa to make an edible chili.

  111. Where’s MJ? I need the Pepe The Frog overview.
    —————————-
    It was a pretty good debate. Trump looked good and didn’t scare people.

    Hillary was really effective when talking about the bitches, but no one really cares what she says. It was the only time she was genuine, though.

    The vapors over the election results is a media creation. No one that cares about anything other than politics gives a flying fuck. In fact, most people believe elections are rigged because everyone has been saying it for 40 years now. Everyone.

    I’ve begun to believe that this is a straight up base election. Hillary needs to drive Obama’s coalition to the polls and there’s precious little data to suggest she can.

    Trump needs to drive disaffected voters to the polls and there’s precious little data that he can.

    Jump ball.

    His best bet is to beat the shit out of her with negative adds. Her best bet is to beat the shit out of him with negative adds.

    Blacks won’t vote. Millennials won’t vote. Independents won’t vote.

    It’s a white on white, male vs female election.

    My hope is that married beta males will vote for Trump in the privacy of the booth, away from their domineering wives.

    My hope is that confident women will vote for Trump because they see Hillary as the embodiment of the bitch archetype. She’s a phony.

    Undecideds aren’t really undecided; they tend to break for the challenger. My hope is that they can gain some permission to vote for him if his poll numbers improve. If not, I hope they stay home.

    My hope is that her brilliant strategy is as fake as she is. Built on lies created by the media, that no one really believes.

    My hope is that the LA Times, the Rand poll from 2012 is correct. It was the only poll that predicted Obama’s victory of Romney.

    But who really knows.

  112. Leon,

    Make up a batch of chili with normal spices, and then don a hazmat suit, open the pint jar with a pair of tongs, and use an eye dropper to add a few drops to your chili pot. Make a show of it.

  113. Congrats TT!!!

  114. Mare loves MJ.

  115. Awesome news grandpa!

    Having 10 fingers and 10 toes is important.

    I’ve seen some shit…

  116. Aren’t those extra fingers and toes the things that keep your vacation homes going?

  117. Y’all really need to watch Luke Cage on Netflix.

  118. I want to add my two cents about NeverTrumpers. First off, they are, by definition, more comfortable with a Clinton presidency than a Trump one. That has me just shaking my head in disbelief, especially since so many seem to be so much in the “WE HAVE ALL THE CONSERFS!” mindset.

    Second, they are not responsible for Clinton winning, if they don’t vote for her, because the people who do vote for Clinton are responsible for her winning. Those that do not vote for Trump, however, are responsible for him losing. (Those that don’t vote for Gary Johnson are also responsible for him losing, but the only people I meet that are #NeverJohnson are usually women wearing flannel and comfortable shoes.)

    And happy B-Day Cyn, where ever you are…

  119. LUKE CAGE!

  120. And congrats, Troy. Now you get to spoil the kid and have your spawn take the responsibility for it

  121. Thanks CoAl!!!

  122. They’re more for ATV’s and Seadoo’s Jay

  123. Pinky here, pinky toe there…soon a boat!

  124. We drove through university neighborhoods today to visit MIL. Usually D-rat yardsigns for miles. 1 Hillary. That’s it. Trailer in industrial neighborhood had yuge Trump signs. Handmade and pitty secured.

  125. Retired teacher on my street has the only Hillary/Kaine sign near us.

  126. All signs by us are local. My cousin is running unopposed. Already getting daily briefs from the cops.

  127. Election signs pretty much gone here. A couple by freeway on ramp. All those are local. One state banner because Loretta Sanchez has a campaign office nearby

  128. I H8 Loretta Sanchez and her sister!!!

  129. Lab wouldn’t do my baseline bloodwork this AM. I fasted and abstained for NOTHING last night. TOM TMI

  130. No, no one “deserves” to be raped.
    ————————
    I disagree.

  131. I disagree

    ——-

    LOLOL

  132. One Pickles sign here in S Indiana.

    Lots o’ Trump signs, but I would expect that.

  133. Can’t we all just get along?

  134. Trump signs here make you a target to thugs and illegals. BIRM. I know I’m not the only NM that is tired of 24/7 illegals getting all the bennies and rudely demanding we speak Spanish. Now that they are all on SSDI it is even worse. At least back in the day, the illegals had to work.

  135. No, no one “deserves” to be raped.
    ————————
    I disagree.

    Anyone else creeped out that MJ’s probably talking about his Bert and Ernie muppets here?

  136. Excited about dinner. I have the bacon wrapped chicken legs, but then I also made a salad with toms, cucs, onions, avacado, salt, pepper, balsemic , olive oil and feta. It’s super good.

  137. Oh come on, salad is what dinner eats.

  138. Let’s be serious for a second.

    Hillary knew that her husband slept around and wasn’t really bothered by it. That’s a choice between them that I’m not going to judge.

    But she also knew that he used his position to force women into sleeping with him and did nothing. He used that influence to at the very least, push a woman into violent sex and possibly raped her. Eventually it got to the point where he would just whip out his small, bent dick and demand to be sucked off.

    He has serious sexual problems and she was ok putting people in harms way for personal gain.

    She deserves to be treated that way. She deserves the pain she inflicted.

  139. You should rape her.

  140. No way.

    She’s more your demo.

  141. I’d turn gay before I would pork that hag.

  142. Ham steak for dinner. Sweet potato fries. Bread and butter.

    ‘Merica.

    One Hillary and one Trump sign in my neighborhood, I see Hillary bumper stickers but no Trump stickers. One of the local races uses Trump as a bludgeon against the R guy in TV commercials. *shrugs* Canada. “He’s against gay marriage! He’s against raising the minimum wage!! ” *clutches pearls*

  143. In past elections democrat yard signs are on almost every lawn. Some had several.
    This you only see them now and then.

    It’s weird.

    Almost no bumper stickers.

  144. Of course you won’t see a single trumpster fire sign.

    Who wants their house trashed?

  145. Drudge say’s he’s holding on to an October surprise that will destroy Hillary.

  146. That’s good, but you can bet democrats have a trump card or two up their asses.

  147. There is nothing they can do to make Trump look worse than Hillary.

  148. It always seems to stick to Trump whereas Hillary is teflon

  149. I’d turn gay before I would pork that hag.
    ——————-
    Turn. Heh.

    Love that you keep trying.

  150. Cankles is Astroglide.

  151. I never had sex with that muppet.

  152. I don’t think they have anything on Hillary.

    I’m not sure it matters, anyway. I agree with O’reiley, that Trump did what he needed to do, which was be steady.

    People are looking for any reason to vote for him.

  153. I grabbed that muppet by the pussy.

  154. She could dick a bimbo with a foot long black dildo autographed by Obama in bright gold, then grab the Queen in the pussy on prime time, and it wouldn’t hurt her ratings.

  155. Her ceiling is 46.

  156. Early voting negates the October surprise. IDFC

  157. MJ….Hillary is gonna win this with about 400 EV. It ain’t even gonna be close.

  158. Catholics, when given a choice between grave sin or not, are required to vote for or not. Trump/Pence are the or not. Doesn’t matter. Mi familia having burning in sanctuary hell for years

  159. http://tinyurl.com/hwccql3

  160. What is your evidence, Mr Whatever?

  161. She had to cheat to beat Sanders.

  162. 269 to 269, civil war 2 starts on my birthday.

    My prediction.

  163. I’ll just posit that Donna Brazille has travelled the affirmative action highway her entire adult life.

    Crooked as a fucking hound’s hind leg.

  164. She was blasted last night.

  165. I know. And she was made to look like a crooked, obfuscating, fucking liar.

    Just like cuntface tried to do on the question of her crooked foundation. There was a question. She didn’t answer it.

  166. Broken arm. Gross.

  167. MJ…Well, Nate Silver (538.com), 270towin.com, RealClearPolitics.com PollyVote…

    (Pssst…also I changed from MunDane68 to MrScience_ ‘memmer? Been here a while…sheesh, )

  168. It’s all fake.

  169. Fake is Yahoo “news”. Trump called out Hillary on her fanatical support of abortion at any time. I read over 200 comments on the article and not a single one of them were pro-life. (Though there was a new insult for Trump – the Yapping Yam.)

  170. We went for a long walk with my mom yesterday.

    She is 86.

    Laura and I are both sore today.

  171. MJ, you moved?

  172. I don’t think Trump is pro-life, any more than I think he is pro-2A, or against Kelo. Trump is pro-Trump and nothing more. But at least he isn’t willing to sell the rest of the public out for Chinese silver or Saudi gold.

  173. Not yet. We just got an offer on the house.

    72 hours to sell.

  174. I think 269-269 is very possible.

  175. Pretty sure Trump has a carry permit, and his kids are avid hunters.

  176. He does. He’s spoken about it for years.

    Mr Science is Mundane? Who knew…

    Your pic kind of looks like Rosetta. It always gets me a little.

  177. I want the streusel cake that Lauraw posted on the ONT.

  178. Yeah…all us pasty, pale types look alike. The other day I got mistaken for the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.

  179. Lauraws’ post at the mothership brings out another lurker.

    “Pug Mahon aka the Deplorable P.U.G. ”

    We know you are here.
    How many bullwhips do you have shoved up your ass, right now?

    Come on, fess up…

  180. Meanwhile, back in the real world, things continue to fall apart in the Pacific. Our allies sense weakness and are looking for strength.

  181. disturbing turn of events Colex….
    if we had a real prez with a real congress we would bring that foul mouthed little turd from a subic bay dumpster to heel quick fast and in a hurry

  182. of course if we had a real prez we wouldn’t have this situation

  183. ww3
    this train is gaining speed

    what a fuckin’ mess

  184. picklery soon to be at the helm driving this train like the criminally insane child of the deads’ casey jones’ coupling with capt e j smith

  185. Why is lauraw cheating on us at the HQ?

  186. When everybody is running in the big race
    And having a good time
    Who am I to derp a shadow
    Who am I?


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