Bill Clinton’s Weenus

 

This will be an exploration of my long held theory that Bill will not allow Pickles McParkinsons to win the election so that he can continue to dick bimbos for the short remainder of his life.

Have you seen the first dude lately? He looks like he hasn’t had a decent meal in ten years or that his alleged syphilis is finally winning the war on women. I kid, I kid. He’s a vegan so you know he has syphilis.

So here’s the theory, in case you missed it in my survey class taught at Muppet U, or if you forgot what was written in the first paragraph: Bill will do anything to prevent Smiley McOpenmouth from getting in the oval office. Way too important to keep his little Gore wet. Yes, for those of you scoring at home, he calls his blank shooter Al Gore.

I bet you’re thinking I’m totally wrong. That the allure of being half of the first ever male/female presidential couple is just too, er, alluring. Consider this: whenever things get good for her, he trots out some sorry statement that even he, a veritable Da Vinci of lying can’t clean up.

Man, that’s gonna sting. Don’t get me wrong, no one cares what he said…except for the only man that might actually make a difference in the election: Golfy McOkieDoke. St Trayvon’s Dad is notoriously thin skinned and its well known that Obama and Bill already hate each other. Bill once told Obama that he should be getting him coffee rather than schlonging his wife (that’s Web Hubble’s job) and Obama’s black half never got over it. If you locked these two in a bedroom closet only one would emerge–probably Bill with panties on his head, wearing high heels, but that’s besides the point.  The hate is real my groovy babies, the hate is real.

Weenus + Viagra >Husband + Most Powerful Woman in the World

Its math, and therefore indisputable, although its probably racist.

FIN

 

 

103 Comments

  1. I hope so. But I’m not so sure anymore. I need to start stocking up on booze. It’s gonna be a long eight years if she wins.

  2. Interesting theory. Bill is Guccifer then, amirite?

  3. He’ll probably replace her meds with sugar pills soon.

  4. MJ, this is old school, I love it!

  5. I love the pic of Hillary looking at the beer.

  6. I want to believe.

  7. Thanks Mare. I was going for the old school vibe.

    I had a lot more but I forgot to connect it all cuz brain damage.

  8. Looks like we (west coasters) may get more stormage from Matthew than previously thought.

  9. Do you have bread, milk and eggs mare?

    Please tell me you’ve got the bread and milk at least!

  10. She’s got whisky, weed, and hot pockets.

  11. How many times has Bill done Huma?

  12. None. But I bet he’s cornered her in an office or hallway and copped a feel.

  13. Huma did Bill, and told Weiner about it to make him mad.

  14. I’m picturing some sort of weird game, where Hillary sits an overstuffed chair in the corner, face hidden in shadow, drinking a bourbon as Huma walks into the room. Hillary tells her that she has to prove her loyalty. Bill is waiting on the bed, in a gaudy silk robe looking like a cut-rate Hef.

  15. Yes, master.

  16. Jimbro, got eggs don’t drink milk or eat bread, however, I did just fill up my husband’s truck with gas (not a euphemism) since mine was filled earlier (not a euphamism). Also the really important stuff, wine and beer.

    Publix and Sam’s club was BUSY but the real busy LONG line place was the Publix liquor store.

  17. Good going on the gas. During winter I fill up every time I get to a half tank just in case. I pass 7 or 8 stations on the way to work, double that number when you come home. All it takes is an ice storm to knock power out to ruin your day.

  18. I do that too, Jimbro. No telling when you’ll be off the road, either. 30 miles of interstate here.

  19. I need to get some extra gas cans to keep in the barn. For reasons.

  20. When I came home from the boy’s CC meet the older boy had NBA TV on. They had an interview with LeBron James and the reporterette eventually asked him what he thought of the BLM protests and wondered what would happen in the NBA this year. James, to his credit, gave a diplomatic non-answer. The NBA can’t afford to lose fans any more than the NFL can.

  21. MJ, did you see that video I left for you on the last poat?

  22. Repeat from old poat because it’s been that kind of day.

    Holy shit, I think I had to buy a Howard Zinn book for Mini-me.

  23. I knew Howard Zinn. Howard Zinn was a friend of mine. MJ, you’re no Howard Zinn.

  24. As of the 17th, my branch is no more. Three people are going to the chemistry group, the rest, including me, to the nonmetallic materials group. The good thing is that the manager who banned me from the lab last year will no longer be in my chain of command.

    Several people are on fall break with their kids, so, boy, are they in for a surprise.

  25. I have been busy lately, so dropping by to let you know that I would gladly give an atomic wedgie to each one of you.

  26. It took me over three hours to figure out how to draw a custom door in Chief Architect this afternoon. But I did.

    I deserve a drink.

    Hop to it, Mare.

  27. There’s no effing way I’d let my kid read Zinn unless I knew for certain it was for mocking or as an example of how history can be rewritten and rewritten rather poorly.

  28. What would you like, Hotspur? I’d be happy to get you something.

  29. Gettin’ my OT in.

  30. I had a college course where I had to buy and read I, Ribogerta Menchu after she was a proven fraud.

  31. Upside: we discussed why she lied, and why people fell for it.

  32. This is the worst poat ever.

  33. One year apart in age 40 years of sex, drugs, alcohol and rock ‘n roll vs. 40 years of being married to Hillary.

  34. Looks like burgers and tequila are a winning combo.

  35. Repeat from old poat because it’s been that kind of day.

    Holy shit, I think I had to buy a Howard Zinn book for Mini-me.

    Ugh. I would refuse. I would write the teacher a nice, polite letter that said “fuck you” in nicer words.

  36. I’d like a Chard, please.. You’re a sport.

  37. One year apart in age 40 years of sex, drugs, alcohol and rock ‘n roll vs. 40 years of being married to Hillary.

    Hole-e-shit

  38. Cabernet and chicken grilled things that I made. WINNING

  39. Mare, this is what Hotspur really wants.

  40. I think Bimbo Dicker and I are three years apart.

    But I never had to be dosed up for multiple bouts of VD.

  41. Why does Tushar like to make the blog load slower? Is it because he really does hate us?

  42. When did leon turn into chef?

  43. Maybe Pickles is Stage Two syphillis.

    Be fun if her nose fell off in the next debate.

    “Hillary, wait. You dropped something.”

  44. Sorry Hotspur, can’t pass it up.
    Are custom doors not a rectangle? 3 hours to draw a rectangle is kind of slow.

  45. Dude, you have no idea.

  46. MJ, did you see that video I left for you on the last poat?
    —–
    I did not. I’ll check it.

  47. Actually, you do. But you’re just having a laugh at my expense.

    Mare!!!!!!!!!!

    Moar Chardonnay, please.

  48. Hahahaha

    Young nurse chick came into Casey’s in a tank top. AC is blasting. Her headlights were blasting.

    One of the guys she’s with gave her his Michigan sweatshirt.

    Douche bag.

  49. I’m sure the client will really enjoy their heptagonal door.

  50. One of the guys she’s with gave her his Michigan sweatshirt.

    He’s hoping she’ll bang him. She won’t. You should tell him so he asks for it back.

  51. My neighbor had a 5 axis CNC machine, and he made good money making doors with custom engraving.

  52. Hahahaha

    Leon, you are totally wise beyond your years.

  53. Wow. That’s awesome.

    And Thom York is looking old.

  54. Well … he’s around 50 -which is my age. Add in rock n roll lifestyle … and that’s what you get.

    They sounded amazing.

  55. Lots of custom doors are not rectangles.

  56. Some have that beautiful curve on the top.

  57. That pic of Sammy Haggar vs Clinton is unreal. Veganism is bullshit. And syphillus is horrible on the face.

  58. Some have multiple glass panes in different shapes and sizes.

    This fucking door is going to cost about $8,000 dollars just for the door – no glass, no jambs, no hardware, no installation, no varnish.

  59. People are stupid.

  60. I was messing with ‘spur mare.
    An arched top would take 2 seconds more.
    Still messing with you.
    However
    Parabolas, compound curves, and spirals are a challenge. It often takes longer to figure out how to draw mathematically precise stuff than actually drawing it.

  61. No kidding, Vpal. I used to draw everything by hand, but at my age my hands hurt, and they shake a little bit. So I am converting, after years of resistance to CAD.

    Scott, you are correct. But people like that put food on the tables of a lot of me awesome guys who actually build this shit.

    All I do is push paper, and attend meetings.

  62. Separating the foolish and wealthy from their wealth at their own request is a special and noble thing, worthy of acclaim.

  63. My neighbor would get $3 or $4k for a door with a palm tree engraved on it. To Scott’s point one person ordered summer and winter doors and paid someone to change them out.
    Used to say more money than brains, but that is probably racist, or sexist, or something.

  64. If I paid $8k for a door, it better stop the dart fired by an Abrams.

  65. One of the guys I worked with at Home Depot was a handyman. I couldn’t believe some of the things people paid him to do.

    One couple hired him every spring to take the glass out of the storm door and put in the screens, then called him in the fall to reverse it.

  66. Lets just hope that bcoch and Tushar’s houses are at least 10 feet above sea level.

  67. My former house was in a flood zone with a base flood elevation of between 12 and 13 on the FEMA maps. My finished floor elevation was 12.5*
    My current place is a much more comfortable 114 in a 90 bfe.(No not bum f* egypt)

    *Using the same benchmark datum.
    Yes I am an ESM geek (engineering surveying and mapping) Do you know your finished floor elevation or your BFE?

  68. Hurricanes and earthquakes happen to other people. I worry more about the glaciers coming back.

  69. Tushar has a place in Florida??? Where?

  70. Evening.

  71. 3 moar days!!!!

  72. Today I died in a fiery explosion. I got better.

  73. We are about 40 miles from the ocean, but we are only about 30 feet above sea level.

    50 year flood zone cuts across our backyard,

  74. Mare, while you were in prison Tushar became a slumlord in Jacksonville. He has a few houses there.

  75. also http://tinyurl.com/jxddvmp

  76. I have to put a pair of propane burners under my tanks and wrap them with heavy blankets so they will cure overnight. This morning there was a pocket of propane in one of the tanks. When I pulled back the blanket to turn off the burner it exploded in my face.

  77. Awww…I ❤️ Trash Pandas!!!

  78. Thanks, Scott. Tushar bought a few houses. That’s great.

  79. Did you get video, Jewstin ?

  80. He’s an American chasing the American dream.

    If you ever get a chance to have a cocktail with him you should do it.

  81. I got hammered with him a couple months ago.

    Hoo boy.

    So happy he’s a citizen now.

  82. We are at 800′ asl and well above the lahar-zone from Mt Rainier, which will flow down the Orting and Puyallup valley to Puget Sound. We only have to worry about the flying rocks and the ash-cloud, but the wind is mostly SW, so no big deal…

  83. No video, but I don’t have to shave for a week.

  84. Tushar and hammered are like white and rice. Err brown, my bad.

    heh

  85. I live 500 miles from the ocean and 2800 ft above sea level. I think I’ll survive this hurricane thing.

  86. Jew, so…scorched not burned?

  87. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/07/us/booz-allen-hamilton-nsa.html

    BAH is getting som bad publicity lately…

  88. No burns. I wasn’t hurt. I did have to pick up a heap of I-beams but I don’t think they were hurt either.

  89. Leon & Car in talking about schooling brought this to mind. It is a post of Lexs’ from 09/30/11.

    https://thelexicans.wordpress.com/2016/10/03/the-return-of-malaise/#more-17948

    Lex was good…

  90. Wow Chris
    PG? What? I didn’t know Texas was that high.
    *yes i have limited knowledge of 5 counties around Houston. This is very high for me. I am such a sea level flatlander.

  91. **knock knock**

    Delivery for Leon.

  92. Thanks to PG, I just checked. My neighborhood is 5,315′ above sea level.

  93. 7,000′ asl.

  94. Reading the NYTimes article and others, it appears that this guy may not have been leaking anything, but has been taking classified information home for decades. Since he started working for the NSA.

    The intel community always attracts the… unusual folks. The NSA hires a lot of mathematicians and others who are very smart, but often with quirks or no common sense whatsoever.

    Kind of glad I’m not working for Booz at the moment. I can imagine the headaches that every employee is going to deal with because of this jackass.

  95. ASL? 34/M/CA

  96. Alex,
    Exactly.
    Working in IT for 21 years you get to see a very broad spectrum of folks attracted to that industry. Some are savants with no social skills(like me), some are bright people that are a little *bent*, some are bright and *norms*, and some are total freaks that can hide very well…

  97. Grrrr woman I work with and her hubby are the couple from Lowered Expectations from MAD TV. They are so…othered. Her hubby brings the baby to the Club at least 3X a day, because of course these two reproduced. She keeps breast feeding in the Breakroom. KMN

  98. If you ever go
    Darling, I’ll be oh-so lonely
    I’ll be derp and blue
    Crying over you, dear only

  99. VMax, you need to get outside of the Sam Houston Tollway while you’re here. Guadalupe Peak, which is about an hour and a half west of where I live, is 8750′ above sea level. Oso, you and Pepe quit that snickering. I realize that’s like bragging on your 4″ dick compared to your state.

  100. Old man is walking down memory lane
    His piercing stare tears out through the rain
    You can see in his eyes
    Ain’t too much life left in them veins
    He tells his son “I’ll be out on the run if I ever get out of this chair”
    And if you don’t mind, I’ll be out of my mind
    Thanks for the time you could spare


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS