Battery Wire



b. 199somethin’


this dreck used to sell for a quarter million or more.

Due to sweet sweet market forces it now it sells in the $10,000s.

Scott Douglas’ pouty mouthed GIrlfriend hardest hit.

Likewise with this bint.

He loaded paint in a fire extigusher and mass produced hundres of canvases like these which sold for mucho mucho dinero.

Now not so much.

Like so many skid marks on the art highway

Please pardon the mobile post.  I’m traveling in Northern California.

The goggles do nothing.


  1. I’m in the wrong business. Maybe I should go down to the local big box hardware store and get a bunch of random paint samples, splatter them on canvas squares from the big box craft store and sell them to rubes in the big city.

  2. Too late, it’s been done. You’ll have to find some new way to make dreck.

  3. I went to my local big box hardware store and got a more serious drill with a half inch chuck. I’ll need to think of more projects.

  4. ww

  5. I’m watching a fascinating series on the invention of chemical leavening. Turns out it started as millers adding chalk to make flour look white and bakers adding alum to make bread look white. Both professions basically cheating their customers, but one adding acid and one adding base, end result is fluffier bread. Really interesting stuff.

  6. At a certain point, the bakers figure out what’s actually happening, get the chemistry right, and then keep it a trade secret for a couple of decades.

  7. This may be my favorite art post. Not because the artists are crap, which they are, it’s the hilarity of art douches losing hundreds of thousands of dollars on junk they can’t give away.

  8. I’m listening to an audiobook of The 48 Laws of Power and it’s almost a cliche by the middle of the book that “art dealer” is synonymous with “con artist”.

  9. “process-based abstract work” is what Scott’s article called it.

    I can think of a few different names.

  10. Gary Johnson smokes too much weed. His stoner responses when interviewed make him look like a moron.

  11. But Mare, we need to support him because fuck the RNC, right?

  12. Exactly, Carin. If Gary Johnson is “your guy” you need to rethink your whole fricken life.

  13. HW Bush was always a putz and his stupid flip flop on taxes gave us the Clintons. He was and is a clown and so is his abortion loving wife. Don’t remember who said it, but again, the RNC is responsible for this, they pushed this mediocre loser on Reagan.

  14. Although he treats the vets well, the younger Bush was a putz too. I knew when he refused to build a wall that was funded on his watch he wasn’t serious about National Security.

  15. That raccoon must be 25 lb.

  16. He should be dead now, but I have a meeting in 2 min and I really like to be sure.

  17. HA! I thought Leon was talking about the older Bush.

  18. I think I fed that thing a half-dozen giant marshmallows and most of a bird-feeder suet cake. The orange we fed it last night was worth it.

  19. I’ve been just putting the opossums in bags and then in the trash bin, but they are pretty small. I think I’m going to have to bury this thing.

  20. Mount his head on a pike up by the house, leon. Warning to the others.

  21. If I had a pike — and I’m not saying I don’t — I’d have better uses for it.

  22. Meeting over, time to dig and then haul the trap back out of the pond.

  23. Ok, use one of those trees deemed unsatisfactory for your hugulkulture

  24. Still, it would attract coyotes.

  25. Movies never show you a guy cussing and swearing about roots and crap when he’s digging a grave in the woods. No realism there at all.

  26. I figured he was a monster. When the trap is closed and empty, it often means the door came down on his fat ass and he was able to back out.

  27. Mine has a locking widget to prevent opening without a hand on the outside. If it didn’t fully close you might get it back open, but the force would be enough to crack a small pelvis. What appears to have happened is him triggering the trap by pulling bait through the wires and just hitting the pad incidentally.

  28. Jus another example of da ma keeping the coons down!

    Leon lynched a raccoon! A poor defenseless raccoon that was just trying to feed his fammy! He was a good raccoon, sang in de raccoon church choir, assisted other homeless raccoon’s. Sure he had a couple of brushes with the coon hounds, but hey, that was just youthful indiscretion. And pay no mind to his raccoonbook page, he was just posing for the camera with the mask on and stuff.

    I mean whats the world coming to when a raccoon receives a death sentence just for a property crime? And dont get me started on the method of execution…imagine the poor creature SUBMERGED in a cage like ISIS does to its victims, struggling in thos last moments for air as the final bubbles leave and his lungs fill with the searing cold of water….. the horror …. the horror….

    RLM! RLM!

  29. Killing cute and fuzzy things when it’s called for to protect or feed yourself, your livestock, or your family is part of the definition of manhood.

    Not my definition, THE definition. If you can’t do it, you’re a sackless douche and a parasite. This is part of why I hate vegans so much, especially the men. It’s of a piece with the transgender thing where they want to change the definition of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ to some postmodernist fluid thing.

  30. OTOH, if you enjoy killing cute and fuzzy animals, there’s something else wrong with you.

  31. It’s kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest.

  32. So, it appears that the new democrat strategy is to keep Pickles locked up where she can’t be observed or spoken to.

    Hell of a great campaigner.

  33. It’s good work, if you can get it.

  34. I need a lunch hour website. Any suggestions?

  35. In all seriousness, she’s ill.

    Really ill. Her campaign is in full meltdown and she had to cancel the week’s events.

    I hope she gets better so we can hate her more easily. It’s hard without fresh material.

  36. I’ve been reading r/the_donald.

    It’s hilarious.

  37. That wasn’t what they said on Fallon last night! With his facemask and everything!

    At least that was on the news.

  38. I need a lunch hour website. Any suggestions?

    xbrad told me about this place called I’ve never been there but he swears up and down that it’s safe for work.

  39. Hmm, seems to be blocked. Imma gonna email IT…

  40. MJ is that a twitter feed deal?

  41. Found it.

  42. Jay, here’s an article on Fung’s site I haven’t finished:

    I expect a report later.

  43. Sup Hostages. So I’m alive. Still in a good deal of pain, but alive. Shoulder surgery suuuuucks.

  44. If it’s about Fong’s pizza in DSM, it’s fantastic!

  45. We don’t speak anymore, bcoch, we raise our hands, and wait our turn.

  46. (good to see you on the mend)

  47. We don’t speak anymore, bcoch, we raise our hands, and wait our turn.

    Jay, you have hit your funny quota for the day, good job.

  48. Hey, Bcock, glad you’re alive and kicking. (Not pitching however).

    Anyhoo, be good and don’t overuse your drugs and save some for Scott.

  49. (Not pitching however). NTTIATWWT

  50. If it’s about Fong’s pizza in DSM, it’s fantastic!


    Jay, I don’t know what that sentence means, but I want to.

  51. I’m in FL, mare. Want to Meatface?

  52. Why We Suck

  53. Where at in FL, MJ?

  54. And is Scott in need of meds? What did I miss?

  55. Comment by MJ on September 20, 2016 1:26 pm

    I’m in FL, mare. Want to Meatface?


  56. Where at in FL, MJ?
    Where are you, Jax?

  57. OK, starting to grasp why Sean and Rosetta were so down on gout.

  58. I wanna be a Pepper too!

  59. Ugh, that sucks, xbrad.

  60. Work in Jax, MJ. Live about 30 minutes north.

  61. Sorry, I’m busy, b-cock.

  62. *whispers*

    Hey mare, do you want to meat face? Don’t tell b-cock I’m in town.

  63. What would we classify as playing with yourself, since Mare=MJ?

  64. That’s fine, don’t like you anyway.

    *ugly cries in corner*

  65. I’m in FL, mare. Want to Meatface?

    Well, she disappeared quick.

  66. I saw her serpantine away when I gave the code red.

  67. Hate to break it to you, but I’m mare. I’ve been sock pupating her for years.

    Ever see us together?

  68. Mare just hates us. Or fears us. Or both.

  69. Here, this whole playlist is gold:

  70. Rush today….” 11% of Americans think Hillary is honest and trustworthy…..14% of Americans think Bigfoot is real.”

  71. How many believe in Bigfoot but not Hillary?


  72. Leon, I’ve shared that guys videos on the blog a time or two.

  73. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now it’s both big toes.

  74. I’ve been sock pupating her for years.

    I think I saw that in a horror movie once.

  75. I guess it’s time for rehab, Xbrad. Isn’t drinking one of the triggers?

  76. Speaking of alcohol, I’m dress shopping with my daughter.

  77. Seriously. This isn’t funny. I need an emergency box of wine.

  78. xb you should talk to jimes – his employer could use a couple extra bucks and i hear tell his type cut off body parts willy-nilly

    win – win

  79. Second store.

  80. you may want to ask a couple of questions first re: basic anatomy

    i’m sure our hostage pal knows the difference between your crank and your toe… buuuuttttt – one can never be too cautious in these matters

  81. One is ugly, stubby, and hairy. The other is his toe.

  82. Mare just hates us. Or fears us. Or both.

    Neither. Mare loves us. But a Mare’s love isn’t like a square’s love.

  83. Just start popping colchicine until you feel better or start shitting liquid. I bet you’ll feel better before the sharts.

  84. 11% trust Hillary, 14% believe in Big Foot, but how many believe Hillary *is* Big Foot? Inquiring minds, etc.

  85. What percentage believe in Big Toe?

  86. I LOVE design meetings. Everyone interprets everything differently.

  87. I LOVE design meetings. Everyone interprets everything differently. I’m the only person in the room who knows what the fuck they’re talking about.

    Fixt that for me.

  88. I had cause today to remember spending 90 minutes talking about an arrow in a diagram. One systems engineer lost his shit and quit after that meeting. Customer would not move on from the damned arrow, pretty he was deliberately trying to sabotage the project by antagonizing people until they left the company.

    I shared this cautionary tale to get a diagram changed before a meeting. It worked.

  89. MJ, where are you?

  90. He’s right outside your window.

  91. Oskar died while I was shopping for a homecoming dress with erin.


  92. Man, I hope not, my house is a friggen mess right now.

  93. Oh, Carin. I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. Had he been sick? I don’t remember reading about him.


  94. He had a few different issues. He’s been the the vet three times for some sort of bladder infection. TOok him again on friday and they couldn’t get a catheter in. They weren’t sure what was causing the blockage, but we put him on some strong antibiotics. He seemed to be peeing … OK.

  95. Sorry Car in.

  96. XB, is this your first El Goutcho flare-up? And it’s in both big toes? Dan feels your pain. Allopurinol today, Allopurinol tomorrow, Allopurinol forever.

  97. Losing a pet sucks. Period.

  98. Mare, yes it does. I still think I hear Gingy. I thought I felt her jump on the bed the other day. MA and I were dozing and I heard her jump from the ramp to the bed. The mattress sagged and bounced back up.

  99. Oh, Car in, I’m so sorry.

  100. I’ve had very minor flare ups in the right toe before (so minor, I didn’t really realize it was gout). First time for the left.

    The right foot is already seemingly improving.

  101. My condolences, Car in.

  102. XB, hope you get it under control soon.

  103. I’m sorry to read about Oscar. He was kind of a character.

    Have you considered adoption?

  104. Sorry about Oskar, Carin.

  105. I made Jas. Townshend’s 18th century fried chicken, and it was really good. There was wine in the batter.

  106. Sorry for your loss, Car in.

  107. He was a character. He would do these vocalization things with Moose. It was like they were having a conversation. He didn’t really like non-family members, but he let that rule slide the last few years. He had a lot of good qualities, but he didn’t have the best health. His back had been giving him issues for a long time. This may have all been related. But no vet seemed to be able to do anything but take our money.

  108. Losing a pet sucks. Period.

    Great moments in punctuation.

  109. Sorry Carin.

  110. Don’t tempt me pupster. I’m weak. I’ll take all the dogs.

  111. Carin, you have teenage clothes shopping to do.

    Focus, woman.

  112. Oh Carin, I’m so sorry. They’re put here to break our hearts, you know.

  113. I’m done with that Hotspur. Luckily we’d found the outfit before I got the phone call. My bil was at the house/ here when it happened.

    Otherwise we would have left, and I would have had to go to the mall on ANOTHER day.

  114. Just kiddin’ you, honey. I believe sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

  115. Bill Clinton after sex:

    “Hillary, I’m home.”

  116. “You might want to put some ice on that.”

  117. Sorry about Oskar. He seemed nice, from a comfortable distance.

  118. I hate finance.

  119. A little soon for marriage, isn’t it?

    Oh wait. Damn dyslexia…

  120. Oskar was sweet but distrustful, and I can’t blame him, since Scott and I brought the world champion dog asshole with us to visit. RIP, Dorkus.

    Dorkus’s first act upon arriving at the residence? Taking a shit on the deck. Yes, Carin’s magnificent Deck of Entertainment. Befouled within thirty seconds of debarking the Party Van.

    Found out shortly that he was basically just making room so that he could load up on Carin’s cat’s food.

    Everything kind of went downhill for him from there. I don’t blame Oskar or Zelda for handling Bubba like that kind of guest. He was.

  121. I love this:

  122. Hahahah…Lauraw, that may be my favorite comment of the month.

    Animals are awesome and goofy.

  123. Hahahah, and the clown deal is a bonus!

    I asked about the weird clown deal earlier this week.

  124. Car in did you see any Somalis with Korans at the mall? I hear those guys are to die for.

  125. Too soon?

  126. Probably, PG, but what are you gonna do?

  127. Lefty, how ya doin?

  128. Hostage Rainbow Bridge is going to be awesome!!!!

  129. Bubba will crap on it.

  130. That’s how I like to remember him. Pooping on really special things. It made him so happy.

  131. Oskar is standing right there, growling, of course. I think he growled that whole weekend. Justifiably.

  132. Sorry, Carin.

  133. H2 dogs are secret fans of Triumph. Go around pooping on nice things on Rainbow Bridge.

  134. Sympathies, Carin. Hope you and your family are okay.

  135. G’night guys. Dan needs me. TMI

  136. Oso is having sexy time!!

  137. Or cleaning up. We just don’t know.

  138. Lefty, how ya doing?

    If this is for me, tonight has been rough. I tried to stretch the time between taking pain meds so I would take a dose shortly before bed. Huge mistake. But I’m doing a little better now. Thanks for asking (again assuming that was directed at me).

  139. Hope it gets better soon. Take your pain meds now, and on time, it helps you relax and heal better.

  140. Sorry to hear about your doggeh, Car in. {{{hugs}}}

    Glad you’re on the mend, BCoch – I’ll be in similar circumstances myself in a couple of weeks. Getting my left knee replaced 10/05, and if all goes well, the right one will be replaced on 10/26 (this has needed to be done for quite some time, but I had to jump through a few hoops first).

    I was surprised at how quickly everything fell into place, though – saw the knee doctor yesterday because he had a cancellation. I honestly expected to have to wait a few months just to get the initial appointment – called his office less than 2 weeks ago, and here we are….

  141. Anyhoo, BCoch, if’n ya have any pain meds left over…..

    Oh, and sorry to hear about the gout, XBrad – had that last year in the hospital; no fun at all :-( {{{gentle hugs}}}

  142. TiFW is finda be bionic.

  143. TiFW, are you the reason all the obummacare exchanges are going out of business? Are you singlehandedly wrecking the ACA? If so, thanks.

  144. **putting “World Champeen Poat Killa” on my resume**

  145. Well my friends, that dreaded day has come. Just found out my father passed away.

    Should have called earlier, I thought he would be in bed. RIP Richard Kenneth.

  146. Requiescat in pace.

    And may his memory be a blessing.

  147. Nothing but good right now, xbrad. Thanks.

    At least the Cardinals won. Hope he got to see it.

  148. I wanted you all to know, because you are my friends. I love you all more than you can know.

  149. Gonna watch Ferris Bueller, the movie we saw when we were the only ones in the theater laughing.

  150. Jay, my condolences to you and your family. May God provide you with comfort.

  151. Even Piers Morgan is standing up for Trump in regards to the recent terrorist attacks.

  152. Im so sorry about your Dad, Jay.
    You tell a good joke and you are a cool cat. I’m sure some of that is owed to him.

    Take ‘er ez. It’s a hard time.

  153. Haven’t had a derp in a long time
    See, the life I’ve had
    Can make a good man bad

    So for once in my life
    Let me get what I want
    Lord knows, it would be the first time
    Lord knows, it would be the first time

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