MMM 240: Halfway done

I got the CO2 sub-unit, the pressure-washer gun upgrades, and the initial hole in the tank done.  Hole needs to be widened and threaded, and the torch barrel needs to be carefully removed, heated, bent, and reattached.  Hoping to get the hole sorted out later today after I have a bigger, more powerful drill.  I’ll have to meticulously clean the tank of aluminum dust and shavings at that point, so I won’t be rushing.

Desert sex cultist.


Big hoops.


From the look of her tummy skin, I’d say this is someone’s mom, but not yours.


Muscly, maybe a little skanky.  I’d date her.


This gal is quite flexible.  I wonder if this is a selfie.


This is a mistake, doesn’t belong here at all.


Ah, much better.


More hoops and a little glistening.


Oh my, well your opinion may be wrong but I think this young lady is stunning.


I will bet you $100 that she can’t really read her tattoo.


I question the utility of being able to stretch a joint beyond the capability of the muscles meant to articulate that joint.  Now pardon me while I puzzle out how the heck you’d write that sentence in Spanish.


Happy Monday, everyone.


Update/Car in – If this isn’t motivational, I just don’t understand the word …

That’s me, on my knees after getting zapped, CRAWLING to survive, and my son is laughing at me.





  1. The one you said you’d date is incredibly gross.Those are the arms and hands of a man. I shouldn’t judge if you like to be man handled.

  2. Trap was sprung, but no beastie. I’m just going to set up the deer blind and hang out between dusk and an hour past and try to shoot him. Maybe leave a bait pile of marshmallows in the optimal target location.

  3. It was more a statement about her perceived skankiness, Mare. I’d much prefer the gal I referred to as “stunning”, or possibly the cultist in the first image.

  4. Yeah, the “stunning” gal, was…stunning. And bonus, her body looks female!

  5. wakey wakey.

    It’s been my dream for a while. My buddy can spend entire days riding coasters alone. I rode a bunch in Vegas alone in Vegas a few years, as well as Disneyland, and have decided that doing the rides alone isn’t as much fun.

    Regarding, Cedar Point. Name the date. I’ll be there Wiser.

  6. I have yet to watch an NFL game this season. Much like Wiser I am enjoying doing things instead of watching morons.

  7. I like visiting Cedar Point, but coasters make me ill now. There was a brief period when I could have fun on them, and it’s behind me.

  8. I think a bunch of people have lost interest in the NFL. Probably not enough to make them take notice, though.

  9. Same here, mare. Haven’t watched a second, and I don’t miss it at all.
    Why should I give my time, much less a G*ddamned cent, to a bunch of people with more money than brains that hate Western Civilization?

    Screw ’em.

  10. People are already cutting the cable cord. They’re turning off the MSM.
    Football is not immune to pissing off it’s customers.

  11. Friend of mine is taking live pictures from Oktoberfest in Munich. Man, that looks like a lot of fun.

  12. We’ve been off cable for about 2 years now, but I think the last part of any NFL game I saw would have been 2012. I was never a regular viewer.

  13. I did used to watch/nap through Michigan games with some regularity, but the RichRod era cured me of that habit.

  14. What, you aren’t totally back into Michigan football, with Harbaugh there? ESPN has informed me that all Michigan fans are totally back in the saddle, now.

  15. I should care about college athletes at a school I haven’t attended since 1999 why? Get women’s gymnastics on TV or point the camera at the cheerleaders and I might care for the wrong reasons.

  16. Agree, Tex. I loved watching football but I really don’t miss it.

    I do catch some college games but not nearly like I use to back in the day. Basically all day Saturday I barely moved from the couch. D’OH!

  17. That’s the other thing, even when I was “watching” football it was mostly a nap on the couch with one of the cats.

  18. I just found a picture of Matt LAUGHING at me on the last obstacle – the one with the electricity zapping thing. I got zapped and fell and basically crawled the rest of the way. And he’s … LAUGHING.

    Evil child.

  19. Buy a cattle prod.

  20. Post the pic, Carin!

  21. ‘morning, people. Mistake girl is pretty cute.

    My kid would laugh and turn up the juice if I got shocked.

  22. This guy is incredibly cute, I want to kiss him and kiss him:

  23. Pic posted.

  24. Good for you, Carin. What a great thing to do with your son!

  25. Heh.

  26. My jarradhale vines are growing nicely, one is 10′ high up an oak tree.

  27. It’s a smaller picture. On facedouche you can clearly see he’s looking right at me, mouth open, laughing.

  28. Anybody want to a see a vid that could alternately be titled “and the baby jesus smiled” or “how a man handles his business”. Actual title is called the last great act of defiance. Thing. of. fucking. beauty. Nothing graphic, cept the sound of gunfire in the end. I have no idea if its considered NSFW

  29. Read this and try not to punch a hole in the wall:–politics.html

  30. I bruised my chest yesterday trying to hug that tank hard enough to unscrew the valve.

    Had to tell your mom not to touch me there when I went for my nooner.

  31. That paint matching machine at Lowes kicks ass.

    We brought in a large paint chip, that I hacked off the back of a new dresser, and got a pint of paint.

    I just finished.

    Our old furniture now perfectly matches the new furniture.

  32. We did something totally spontaneous yesterday. We drove out into the county to a restaurant on a lake for lunch. On the way back home we passed a whole bunch of people in Porsches going the other way. It’s common courtesy among Porsche owners to wave as they pass another Porsche, so after about fifteen cars, I said to HotBride, “I want to see where they’re going.”

    So I did a u-turn and followed them all over the place, then we ended up at this nice restaurant at around 5. So we got out, introduced ourselves, and asked if we could crash their party. They were more than delighted, so we met some super nice people, were invited to join their club, and had a great dinner.

    Totally off the wall, but fun.

  33. Talking to strangers and then eating with them?


  34. So I did a u-turn and followed them all over the place,

    Would have been hilarious if it was just the first guy going home and the followers all having created the convoy behind him using Hotspur’s thought process…

  35. Do they all work at Sunshine Carpet Cleaning?


  37. As far as I know there are only two Porsches in this county. They both belong to the Laotian dude who opened a donut and kolache shop here about 4 years ago and is kicking the shit out of everybody else in town at breakfast time.

  38. We laughed about that.

    At one point three of the cars were in the wrong lane, and they ended up behind us.

    HotBride said, “Maybe we should just go home instead of crashing their party.” And I said, “No, if we do that the ones behind us will follow us all the way home.” And she said, “Then we’ll just invite them in and offer them wine.”

  39. I ran into another employee near the coffee machine and de declared in no uncertain terms that Hillary is a witch and he is voting for Trump.

    I alwad thought Trump can bank on 3 votes in New Jersey. Me, the Mrs and Gov Christy.

    I can now annouce that the number has gone up to 4. I am working on 2-3 other people.

  40. One step at a time, Tushar..

  41. Pat has convinced a guy at work to vote for Trump.

  42. Pat convinced me to vote for Trump, too.

    We talk.

  43. I know somebody in Chappaqua who was pro-Trump as of New Year’s. Presumably still so but haven’t heard for certain.

  44. You know what we need more of? That’s right, more unvetted muslims from 3rd world countries.

  45. Mare, if we’re ever going to have a true rape culture here, and not this babyshit rape culture that the snowflakes are inventing right now, it’s going to require a mass influx of young, unmarried, filthy, illiterate, muslim men target practice.

  46. Moderate muslims

  47. I’m worried about Cyn.

  48. I sent her an email last week. Never heard back.

  49. I blame Mare.

  50. CYN!!!

  51. Muscly has bigger hands than me! (paging Johnny Bench)


  53. It took me a while to spot Carin in the Tough Mudder photo.

  54. We finally replaced a hall light that had one of those corkscrew bulbs with a 40 watt LED today. It’s been dim for the past few years but we left it since it shines in my eyes when the boys leave it on at night. Finally said fcuk it and bit the bullet. It’s quite the transition.

  55. The powers that be decided that the NASA Live segment on NASA TV was not working out. They will still make clips for uploading to Youtube, but I won’t have any more interviews with shaking hands because now they will edit that out.

  56. LEDs are pretty nice.

    Stupid not to buy them here, they are subsidized by the State so we are already paying for them.

  57. So, I take a nap every day before work, and it’s usually nice and refreshing, but something you may not know about recovering alcoholics is that we occasionally have drinking dreams. In this one, I had bought a bottle of Scotch (which I remember tasted more like Bourbon–it wasn’t very good Scotch) and was drinking it when I remembered…oh, yeaaaaah, I’m supposed to be sober. It was at this point that I realized that I had been drinking occasionally all throughout the last five years and immediately began to think of ways to rationalize (read: lie about) my continued drinking. I was even hiding the bottle in my old spot between the bed and the wall, where I found that there was already an empty. It was around this point that I woke up and realized that the whole thing had been a dream.

    No matter how much time passes, I’m probably gonna have these fun little excursions into guilt, shame, and remorse for the rest of my life. So I got that going for me.


  58. Recovering sexoholics have better dreams.

  59. Probably. Though I suppose it depends on who makes an appearance.

  60. For Roamy

  61. Yeah.

    And finding a depleted one crammed between the bed and the wall is a whole other kind of nightmare, too.

  62. I depleted your mom.

  63. MJ, friend just called Drumf Cheeto McBabyhands.

  64. I left your mom between the wall and the bed.

    The one dream I’ve had that really fucked with me, laura, ended a little something like this: If I have a particularly vivid dream, I can wake up, reach between the bed and the wall, and confirm that there’s no bottle there. This time, I woke up, reached down, and was horrified to find my usual half gallon plastic jug of vodka right there!

    Then I woke up again. There was a considerable amount of swearing involved.

  65. 💩 WordPress doesn’t have nerd sticker. Roamy…imagine a nerd sticker. BRB

  66. At least you your dream didn’t involve Keystone Light. So, ya got that going for ya.

  67. A woman friend of mine (seriously, just a friend) is an ex-smoker, hasn’t had one in 20 years. I asked her one time if it still bothered her and she said only in her dreams. In her dreams she smoked big old Cheech and Chong sized cigarettes that tasted beautiful.

  68. Damn skippy, I’m a nerd. Thank you, Osita.

  69. Ugh. Hate the dream-within-a-dream. Back when I used to pray, prayer helped.

  70. At least you your dream didn’t involve Keystone Light. So, ya got that going for ya.

    Now that I think about it, these dreams rarely involve any kind of beer. And almost never wine.

    But, yeah, if I relapse on light beer, you all have permission to kick me square in the nuts.

  71. Sounds more like a Night Terror than a dream.

  72. 😘 Roamy

  73. Recovering sexoholics have better dreams.

    No, it’s just as frustrating. In the dream you’re still trying to avoid it, so you’re just tormented worse than you would be awake, unless you realize it’s a dream, whereupon you usually wake.

  74. I didn’t get a chance to practice with the .22 at all, and I don’t trust my first shot ever to be by moonlight, so I tried baiting the trap with a split orange that it can’t pull out through the grating.

  75. I have a very rich, vivid, fun dream life. Sean, it is rare (maybe 4 in my life ) to have a dream that really disturbs me. I am glad you can come here and leave them. When my children were little if they had a bad dream I would tell them to tell me and they won’t have them again. They say it worked.

  76. You think it’s pulling the bait through the cage from the outside? Dang.

    The Mountain Men and Life Below Zero trappers wire the bait down.

    I didn’t get a chance to practice with the .22 at all, and I don’t trust my first shot ever to be by moonlight,

  77. But Lauraw is right sex addict dreams are better.

  78. Raccoons are very intelligent.

  79. I just told you why they weren’t, Mare. Tsk.

    Pupster, it’s yanking bits of food right through the grating. It broke up the suet cake and yanked pieces of it out, the suet cage never left the trap. It it doesn’t go in after the oranges tonight, I might try putting some walls around it and just dropping in marshmallows again.

  80. My night terrors were so out of control, I had to learn to “Program” my dream space. My therapists (Plural. Anyone surprised?) taught me how to “Control” my dreams. Combination of breathing and imaging. I still have night terrors. Less frequent.

  81. My brother and his friend raised a baby raccoon.

    Cute as hell, but incredibly smart and evil.

    Dog crates won’t hold them.

  82. My dear, Leon, I was joking… A riff on Lauraw’s comment.

    By the way, I don’t believe in sex addiction. It is normally only applied to married men. Strange that.

  83. IT’S REAL

  84. I’ve seen interviews with real sex addicts, people who would take tremendous risks for sex of any kind with whomever would. There are a lot of them in LGBT communities, and a lot of them are co-addicted to drugs of various kinds. It doesn’t usually look much like a frustrated married man who’s wife cut him off, though.

    Porn addiction is real. Not a doubt in my mind.

  85. Are Ben Afleck and Jennifer Lipez back together??? Now, that’s important!

  86. It could be a zombie opossum, traps don’t work on them either.

  87. Scott, I’m sure I told it before. Lived in Chama. Pet door for cats. Got tired of cleaning kitchen trash. Locked pet door. First night, heard a knock on garage door, raccoon was sitting on step. It seemed to be upset that I’d locked the pet door. It was the skunks in the house not the Trash Pandas that prompted me to lock the pet door.

  88. Are Ben Afleck and Jennifer Lipez back together??? Now, that’s important!

    Ms. Lopez has taco-flavored kisses. Who could resist?

  89. Oso ❤️ Sean!!! I read most of your comments in different character voices from animated shows.

  90. Mmmm…tacos!


  92. Ms Lopez is mine!

  93. Taco kisses broke my funnybone. Cartman’d

  94. Ms. Lopez has pink taco-flavored kisses. Who could resist?


  95. leon – last year i had a particularly precocious coon pester me all summer. it rampaged through the garbage cans in the neighborhood and destroyed one trap. i had to get an xl trap.

    i stacked 4 concrete blocks around the trap. 1 at the back, 1 on either side and one on the top. make sure the trigger plate and assembly are not impinged. make sure you still use the suet cage to suspend the bait (i use bread with peanut butter it’s tougher to pull it all through at once).

    i finally caught him – an older one over 30 pounds. they learn pretty quickly how to defeat a trap, but changing up the approach will eventually get them. i’ve caught a lot of them through the years – a free lunch will always lead to their demise. i know you know this but i just want to reiterate – they are meaner than hell and fast as all get out and susceptible to rabies – give it the lead pill asap. i relocated a few of them last year, but the real big ones i dispatched instead of risking being bitten while releasing them.

    i’ve got a couple more in the last couple of weeks pissing around down back – i guess i’ll have to set some traps here again.

  96. Relocation is a crime, and I wouldn’t do it anyhow. I just drop the whole trap in the pond for half an hour.

  97. I had a similar dream, except it was a dead hooker crammed between the wall and the bed.

  98. Just think if you catch a delicious cow, and you have that flamethrower.

  99. Bob Owens still has me blocked on Twiiter, and I have no idea why.

  100. Were you going all gun-control on him? hahaha

  101. hahaaa! that’s a damn big live trap

    Maillard Reaction Gone Wild

  102. Roamy, WHAT??? No wai

  103. He likes guns, not trebuchets.

  104. Heh,you know we celebrate the 2nd Amendment around here. I tried to get Andy to talk to him. Hell, I don’t even tweet that much, so where did I go wrong?

  105. Trying to stay up late in Sao Paolo. Have to fly all night tomorrow night.

    Usually there’s a couple of good English movie channels and one channel that shows old westerns.

    Tonight was the classic ‘High Noon’. Awesome.

    Just settled in to watch the next movie and it’s a remake of High Moon! With Tom Skerrit, never heard of it.

  106. Since you have a different name, and don’t tweet much, maybe he thought it was spam?

  107. Maybe you should go trash a bathroom, phat.

  108. Mrs. Jay got Ben Hur on Amazon. Forgot to watch it this weekend.

  109. Sorry a shitty remake of High Noon.

    ‘High Moon’ is in all probability a porno.

  110. After drinking all of this crap Brazilian beer, that’s a foregone conclusion.

  111. Ugh, Grad School social this weekend. I wonder if we’re allowed to bring a guest. I’ll have to find out whether Brandi or Cinnamon is dancing that afternoon.

  112. Changed the channel to ‘skyfall’.

  113. Fareed Zakaris is a pompous ass-clown. I am ashamed that India exported this asshole to America. He should have rotted in some minimum wage shitty print journalist job in India.

    He tried to drag US presidential race into a discussion with Putin.
    Putin shoved in the pineapple – sideways and all the way in.

  114. CoAlex, go for the one with most tats.

  115. Fareed Zakaria, not Zakaris. Asshole either way.

  116. That’s Sapphire, but she’s just out of rehab.

  117. blerg

  118. It took me a while to spot Carin in the Tough Mudder photo.

    You can basically only see my ass.

  119. That’s good! She’s replacing her substance abuse with a need for meaningless sex.

    And you’re just the man for the job.

    Unless it was rehab for sex addiction, in that case take The one with the biggest rack.

  120. Eh, Sean. You have those dreams because you’re humble.

  121. I have crappy dreams about forgetting to bring extra zip sauce to table seven. Or being unable to ring up food orders.

  122. Thanks, C arin, but pretty much every recovering addict has those dreams, humble or not. If you spend a significant part of your life focused on something like that, it’s gonna intrude on your subconscious.

  123. Good call on not taking the stripper straight out of rehab, Colex. She’s likely to want to talk your ear off about recovery. And maybe even…*gulp*…her spiritual experience.

  124. Seanm seems to know a lot of shit about a wide range of of shit. I guess a more couth motherfucker might call him knowledgeable.

  125. Eh. I choose to believe what I choose to believe sean. You know you’re fallen/imperfect, bla bla bla. That’s what’s gonna keep you straight.

  126. Well, I’ve never dated a stripper, pg, but I’ve met a few of them in meetings.

  127. Short story then bed.

    So get a bill for a stupid twenty dollar sports physical that got for my youngest back in august. Paid cash. But I get a bill.


    So I call. Irritated. Big mistake. She tells me if I don’t pay, they’re going to report me to collections.

    I literally lose my shit. Honestly, I know I seem nice and all, but when I have righteous indignation, I kinda get … unpleasant. That’s why I usually leave these things to pat.


    Well … do you have a receipt?

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Why would I keep a receipt? You don’t give me the form until I hand over the twenty dollars. There is no “billing” involved.

    But guess what I found a bit later. The Receipt . Bottom of my purse, all crumpled up.

    Which is almost as good as finding twenty dollars.

    Honestly, I’m so bad dealing with stuff like this. I get seriously pissed.

    (Erin was listening in and trying to calm me down … “mom, it’s only twenty dollars …”)

    No EFFEN way. I aint paying. That’s THEFT.

  128. No comment on stripper dating.

    Long, long time ago.

  129. I’m gonna have fun giving them a call tomorrow.

  130. Breathe, C arin. You have the right on your side.

  131. Phat,

    I’ve avoided dating strippers so far. I don’t need that brand of crazy in my life.

  132. Man, I’ve been watching the first season of Person of Interest over the last few days–how did I not watch this show until now?

  133. Pretty sure you were still drunk when it came out.

  134. For MJ:

  135. Close, b-rad. The show debuted while I was in rehab. Sept 22, 2011.

  136. Im sorry . I fuched up this thread w the art post. Mobile SuchPress doesnt have “schedule this post” option (or maybe it does).
    Anywho, I pressed publish on accident and here we are.
    All appolgies from the High Sierras.
    I can see my house from here.

  137. When you kiss me
    When you miss me
    Hold my hand
    Make me understand
    I break out – in a cold derp

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