MMM 237: Ides of August

Week 2 on the new job, and I’m still having fun.  Woo!

I am pretty tired after last night’s hog vigil, though, so I’m going to keep this terse.

Good morning.


Looks like Arizona or California desert.


Power clean in monochrome.


Lucky bag.


Pink ensemble.


She wears short shorts.


I think this might be Robin Gallant.  I followed her on youtube until she got bolt-ons and IMO spoiled her figure.


Warm legs.



Light and shadow.


Pretty smile.


Happy Monday, one and all.  May your day be blessed, safe, and worthwhile.


  1. On the clock.

  2. Q- and this is not me but a friend- if you highly suspected that your spouse killed two of your beloved pets while you were gone, what would you do?

    Be sure, but then run if you are. If it’s a couple of fish or hamsters and it was more than a week away… well, sometimes those just die. If it was a couple of cats or dogs, that’s really, really suspicious. Consider requesting a polygraph.

  3. workie workie

    good selection Leon

  4. Time to make the donuts.

  5. mmm, donuts.

  6. happy birthday, lipstick!

  7. Off the clock from 7 to 745 to make stew.

  8. Cats. And he mysteriously “found” one in the middle of the night. Other is still missing.

    It’s really not a good situation. I don’t think the husband is completely stable. Wife knows that her suspicion of him for their disappearance is worrisome in itself.

  9. Happy birthday, J’Ames!

  10. Wakey wakey

  11. Did I tell you guys about my Not Hillary sticker? I have it on my lesbaru, of course. I was getting a coffee at McDonalds yesterday and the guy behind me starts waving at me and tells me he LOVES my sticker.

    I happened to have an extra one in my purse, so I gave it to the cashier (first window) to give to him.

    He was BEYOND excited.

    That was kind of fun to do.

  12. Good story, Carin.

    One vote at a time.

  13. Yea, it actually kind of made my day. Silly how those things are so much fun.

  14. That’s terrific, Carin.

  15. Heh, nice one, Car in. I’ll bet that felt good.

  16. Not Hillary?


    *sets walker on fire

  17. Breaking story!!!!!!

    Hillary is a cunt.

  18. So, now Black Lives Matter think it’s okay to riot when a black cop shoots a black man with a pulled gun.

    Right on, brother.

  19. Mare loves Hotspur.

  20. Not Hillary?
    *sets walker on fire


    That made me laugh.

    MJ, be honest, how is married life?

  21. I hear Milwaukee isn’t a seething, bubbling cauldron of shit.

    Said no one ever.

  22. It’s Algonquin for “the good land”, but that was before all those evil white people settled there.

  23. hahahah, MJ is especially funny today. That or I just got done working out and I’m dehydrated and delirious.

  24. I just worked out and I smell like the dumpster behind Hotspur’s Ghetto Bar.

  25. Racist!!!!

  26. Really good. I’m happiest when life is stable.

    And GND seems to be happy, which is a good sign. Most people tend to like me at first, then I get to be a chore. I don’t think the pattern will be repeated this time.

  27. How is life with you?

  28. nd GND seems to be happy, which is a good sign. Most people tend to like me at first, then I get to be a chore. I don’t think the pattern will be repeated this time.

    Does this timing coincide at all with when you reveal your muppet porn addiction?

  29. Pllllfffftt.

    Correlation doesn’t equal causation.

  30. Don’t worry, MJ, you’re still a chore.

    And a tool.

  31. Causation is usually also correlative, however, what with the causing the thing and all.

  32. Erin’s at her first driver’s ed class. I don’t rush it – she’ll be 17 in three months.

  33. things have changed. I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel!

  34. I got pulled over for a blown tail light when I was barely 15. The judge was not amused.

  35. Went to see the surgeon today for a follow-up visit. He said that I am doing so well now that he doesn’t need to see me any more.

    Mr. TiFW shook his hand and told him thanks for everything; I hugged him and thanked him for saving my life.

    I am now sitting at home with a purring kitteh in my lap.

    Life is good.

  36. lI got pulled over for a blown tail light when I was barely 15. The judge was not amused.

    Some people are really over protective when it comes to draft horses.

  37. Andddd….the Low Hanging Fruit Picker of the Day Award goes to…..

  38. Your mom?

  39. None of my kids were really anxious about getting their license. Mostly because they need they wouldn’t really have a car to drive anyway.

  40. Just got a vegan on youtube to tell me that 95% = 100%. In the same breath he called me an idiot.

    Pretty sure I’m winning.

  41. You’re not winning if you’re arguing with vegans.

    just saying.

  42. Vegans can blow me.

  43. Oh, I can’t save them, I know that, but anyone reading will see them for the cancer that they are.

  44. Congrats TiFW. The less Drs you have to see the better.

  45. They can’t blow you. Vienna sausage is a meat.

  46. How does a lib cesspit like Milwaukee elect a sensible, outspoken sheriff like David Clark? Walker has the rural support to overcome Mil & Madison due us to statewide office, but Clark is local m

  47. Wow that got fucked up.

    **starts morning drinking**

  48. You have seen a picture, right?

  49. Why doesn’t the media just honestly report that these people are rioting because they’re animals? Nothing to do with police shootings. They’re just the convenient cover to loot, commit arson, and beat up whitey.

  50. Saw a report that said BLM is going to have a protest at Graceland during “Elvis” Week. WHY?

    Im at the point where I want to see the police get all 1968 on their asses. Seriously. I want to see a bunch of these fucks hit in the head with wooden sticks.
    They are going to fuck around and pull the wrong kid from a car or hurt the wrong person and there will be a vigilante response. They think they want a conflict, they dont realize it wont be like the 60’s. Those Koreans that defended their property during the RK Riots? Yeah…..going to see a lot of that…..stupid fuckers….

  51. What sites do you guys read that have news + commentary from bloggers? I used to read Hot Air but they’re off the rails at this point and all in for Hillary!.

  52. DailyKos, Democratic Underground.


  53. In all honesty, facedouche and twitter drive that for me, it’s a quick glimpse to what everyone is saying.

  54. It’s Algonquin for “the good land”, but that was before all those evil white people settled there.

    You’ve been partying with Alice Cooper, haven’t you?

  55. Wayne and Garth, too!

  56. Somebody help out an ignorant whitey. What is weave?

  57. Fake hair, “woven” into your real hair.

  58. I tried some yard work because it’s not AS HOT today. Still a dripping mess.

  59. Fake hair extensions.

  60. You’ve been partying with Alice Cooper, haven’t you?

    Did you know Milwaukee has had 4 communist mayors?

  61. Yeah, that dipshit looks like he likes taking it in the ass.

  62. It’s a Toyota, must be Tushar’s ride.

  63. Speaking of taking it in the ass, how is your mom?

  64. Speaking of taking it in the ass, what’s Hillary up to today?

  65. Hillary! is enjoying a nice breakfast of kitten washed down with the blood of virgins. Then she’s going to campaign for about ten minutes until her next seizure, and spend the rest of the day in seclusion in her infernal sanctum.

  66. I thought she washed kittens down with Huma’s snatch sweat. Guess I was wrong.

  67. That’s what she uses to wash down the anti-seizure meds she takes before she goes to bed.

  68. I think what struck me most about the documentary ‘Weiner’ is that no one–not Huma, Anthony, the press sec, the workers, etc.–none of them thought he was a jerk for lying to them repeatedly. His wife only wanted to handle the situation politically, along with everyone else.

    They actually showed the whole crew debating which lie would be plausible.

    I must be terribly naive.

  69. Hillary! is enjoying a nice breakfast of kitten washed down with the blood of virgins. Then she’s going to campaign for about ten minutes until her next seizure, and spend the rest of the day in seclusion in her infernal sanctum.

    Ha ha haaa …

  70. Does she actually have a lover? I wonder.

    20 years is a long time to go without someone.

  71. Hillary is the textbook definition of “lesbian bed death”.

  72. Does she actually have a lover? I wonder.

    Of course she does – Bill. They’re tight. BFF.

  73. Trump is speaking on foreign policy. Liberal heads are assplodin.

  74. He’s hammering the fuck out of Cankles right now.

  75. He says mean things!

    -Republican bed wetters

  76. 83% of his problems would be over if he just hammered Hilldog’s terrible record.

    4% would be gone if he leaked more Melania nude photos.

  77. Hahahaha

    He just accused Hillary! of weakness and stupidity.

  78. I saw that a few days ago he told a protestor that his mom is voting for Trump.

    Made me laugh.

  79. Trump just murdered a baby, and shot a puppy on national TV.

  80. And the puppy isn’t dead. It’s convulsing on the ground, while Trump just laughs.

  81. Then he said, all Mitt Romney could manage was a puppy cage on top of his car.

  82. And he said, “All Bill Clinton could manage was raping women. I rape them, then I kill them. Then I rape their corpses.”

  83. I found out what Hillary!’s up to today.

    Drunk again.

  84. BAM!

  85. Not a damn thing happened today.

  86. I didn’t have to use my AK.

  87. I didn’t have to use my AK.

    Did you use it anyway? Just, y’know, to establish it’s in working condition.

  88. *slits blogs throat while it sleeps*

  89. *looks at remains of dead blog while eating a sammich…

    Yep! that’s definitely a dead blog.

  90. It’s pining for the fjords!

  91. Sweet corn from the farmstand, on the grill. Outstanding.

    It was expensive this year. Due to the drought, no doubt.

  92. Hay is going to be in short supply due to drought. Paula’s dad got one crop only. He uses sale of it to pay his property taxes.

  93. Happy birfday, J’Ames. I got you some corn, but I realized that was probably redundant.

  94. MJ, really good, to answer your question.

  95. Porperty tax…..another fucking thing that needs reform. I say pay tax for the life of the mortgage and always if its a investment property. But after that… sees crazy stories now and then about elderly being evicted from property owned free and clear due to “taxes”. Once they pass, the new owners clock starts to tick and they pay. Something along these lines…

  96. B-but…property taxes pay for schools*, ttroy! You don’t hate The Children, do you?
    *Vast majority may actually go to elect politicians you hate after being laundered through the Teachers’ Union. No restrictions apply. On them, I mean.

  97. *quickly snaps a shipping crate closed around Sean*

    *ships him to Vanuatu, with instructions that the unopened crate be hurled into an active volcano*

    Have a nice trip, Sean.

    If you feel around in the dark, there, you will find that I put some Lunchables™ in there for you, and also some diet Dr. Peppers. Because I am nice.

  98. There once was a woman from Dallas,
    Who used dynamite for a phallus.
    They found her vagina
    In North Carolina,
    And her tits at Buckingham Palace.

  99. You are nice. Also, getting a trip to a tropical island/getting hurled into a volcano before the election is pretty much just what the doctor ordered. God bless you.

    (I should note, however, that there’s no period after the “Dr” in Dr Pepper.)

  100. Yeats?

  101. Maya Angelou

  102. Yeats?



  103. Mare come over here. I want to measure your waist today.

  104. There was a young man from Vermont
    Who got into sex with his aunt
    He said, “The incest
    Is really the best
    But our kids have more heads than you’d want.”


  106. Lauraw,
    HOW many thousand *grams* of salt per day???

    “One keto book I have advises athletes to increase their salt consumption to 3000- 4000 grams daily.”

  107. I heard of fellow named Brock
    Who couldn’t stop touching his cock
    So he went to a shrink
    Who told him to think
    Of Kerry Marie ’round the clock.

  108. Happy Birthday Lippy! Happy Birthday J’ames! 🎂🎉🎁🍺🍷

  109. The one I recommended her says 3-5g daily, scaled to activity level.

  110. DiT is the only one who gets to tell us about no period in Dr Pepper. That is his dealio.

  111. Leon,
    That’s why I asked.
    4000 grams = 8 pounds.
    Probably too much…

  112. Mind blown! The New York Yankees sent a gorgeous floral display to our murdered LEOs funeral. They try to make sure that they send flowers to every LEO killed in the line of duty. Who knew? I bet BLM needs to be clued in to this.

  113. Obviously I meant milligrams

    Yes, Crispy, we all need to be eating two large boxes of kosher salt each day for optimum health. If you don’t eat seven pounds of salt with breakfast, you might be a communist.

  114. Or gay.

  115. Fuck Salt.

  116. And ice.

  117. And your feelings.

  118. *gathers up all my salt, ice, and feelings and runs away crying*

  119. Come back, Laura. We didn’t mean it.

  120. Laura,
    I knew what you meant,
    I wuz just pokin’ fun….

  121. I have a new arrival at the farm.

  122. Pork butt cooker!

  123. Why are the robes saffron at the PBC cult?

  124. Gonna go to the store tomorrow and pick up some meats for the cookings.

  125. Inventory tomorrow night. Green chile bushel tomorrow AM. Leo told us to get medium. This year’s crop of hot is REALLY hot.

  126. The pumpkin vines out front are climbing the trees. Still no fruits, but they look cool.

  127. You’ll be able to cook a weeks worth of food all at once.

  128. RE the FB post at the HQ. I’m not a Blocker or an “Unfriender”. Unless people are being dicks to my friends. See also Twitter. This election has been brutal.

  129. Remember when my 4-year-old $800 Kenmore washing machine died?

    Good times. We eventually replaced it with s low-end used machine for $150, which seems to being working great.

    This weekend, our 3-year-old Kenmore dishwashed died.


  130. Wow.

  131. SeanM is the poet laureate of H2.

  132. You should see if anybody you know has a trebuchet you can use to hurl the dishwasher at the Sears where you purchased it.

  133. If people post stupid liberal shit on Facebook, I just unfollow them so I don’t see their posts anymore.

  134. Congrats on the PBC, CoAlexinExile. Try ribs first.

  135. Google ‘Kenmore sucks’.

  136. The googling I’ve done shows that it might just be a thermal fuse.

    easy to fix myself and probably only about $50.

    But still…..


  137. The Kenmore stuff I have is at least 10 years old.

    They probably moved production to China to save a few bucks.

  138. Thank you, pg.

    And $50 dollars to fix it isn’t bad, but it doesn’t give you the satisfaction a trebuchet attack would.

    cc: Roamy

  139. >>>>>Google ‘Kenmore sucks’.

    And people wonder why Sears is dying.

    Destroy the brand, destroy the company.

    Stupid fucks.

  140. The guy who moved production to China got promoted for saving the company millions.

    I guarantee it.

  141. Maytag ISD to be a good brand. Now I think they cut a lot of corners. No offense J’Ames.

  142. Scott,

    I’m going to try a few things separately first, and then once I get the hang of it I’ll do a large cook-fest once a week.

    I’m seriously considering showing up to class with pulled pork sammiches and beer.

  143. When I worked for the electronics distributor, Konica fired us because a bean counter found another company that would do it cheaper.

    He save the company a ton of money in distribution costs and was considered a hero.

    At the same time sales plummeted because most of the sales demo machines weren’t delivered on time, or were delivered damaged.

    It didn’t matter, different budget, he was still a hero and the service guy was fired.

  144. I have a diet question for those more knowledgeable than I.
    I know not to drink but I had 2oz of vodka last night. I was still in keytosis in the morning, but about an hour after zucchini and onions in a cheese sauce, I am not.
    What is most likely. The onions, the vodka, or your mom?

  145. CA, you will need a decent thermometer. With that in hand you can’t miss.

    Load it up.

    It knocks big pieces of pork out of the park.

  146. Scott, that whole “profit center” thing is stupid, it is amazing that people don’t notice that the profit centers cannibalize each other and ruin the team as a whole.

  147. I know. It drove me nuts.

  148. Scan and Go is the future of retail. At least Sam’s Club. Co-workers are still resisting. Dinosaurs.

  149. A couple of years later, Pitney Bowes fired their top sales person because she didn’t hit her quotas two months in a row.

    Top sales person.

    It’s why I work for myself.

  150. Quotas are a scam.

  151. Some people fail up, and then prove that they might have been good at something, but not being in charge.

  152. Yes on the pork barrel cooker. Pork butt is cheap too. $1.29 a pound here.

    whole chickens, cut in half lengthwise, cooked with ribs. outstanding!

  153. I was the #1 salesman in my company for two years in a row.

    I was constantly told how they were going to “fix” me as they brought in manager after manager.

    They were stunned when I quit.

  154. Scan and go?

  155. Wow, Simone has such strong legs.

    and she grabs the beam. wonder when the last time was that she did that.

  156. One time Penelope cooked 2 pork shoulders in the PBC…… epic.

  157. My favorite line from one of the scumbag sales managers I worked for:

    “I’d rather apologize after the sale than lose the sale.”

    I really despise that mindset.

  158. I haven’t done a pork butt yet. I should fix that.

    I’ve done 2 briskets and 2 pepper stout beef though.

  159. “I’d rather apologize after the sale than lose the sale.”

    People suck.

  160. J’ames, the Member uses their smart phone to scan items in their baskets, uses Wal-Mart pay or Apple Pay to complete their purchase, greeter scans the barcode for pre-pay at exit. Member bypasses registers. It is awesome. Clubs in AR were online. Rolling out to all Clubs by Thanksgiving. Wal-Mart has totes bought in to Omni-Shop. Consumer determines the level of experience. Delivery, pick up, self scan, etc.

  161. >>>People suck.

    I don’t hate very many people, but I wouldn’t piss on that piece of shit if he was on fire.

  162. You’ll be able to cook a weeks worth of food all at once.

    Or feed Rocketboy dinner.

  163. I really despise that mindset.

    One of the things that put me off working in sales was the shadier people it attracted. Guys with the “just tell them whatever they want to hear” attitude.

  164. Mr. RFH is working on the new trebuchet. The old one had taken too much abuse to be refurbished again. In the meantime, I suggest tannerite.

  165. Get ready for MFM stories about elderly greeters and retards losing their jobs at Wal-Mart. Scan verification at exit is the only way this works. See also Pick up and delivery.

  166. What color are the Wal-Cult robes, Oso?

  167. Pork butt salted and resting in the fridge. Goes in the PBC tomorrow afternoon.

  168. Happy birthday, Jay!

  169. Thanks everyone. It was a pretty good day. Everyone left me alone.

  170. Dry brining, nice!

    Gonna use some PBC rub? It’s actually pretty good. But make sure and look up Memphis Dust.

  171. Nah. For this one I’m just going to coat it in black pepper and cook it. I figure for my first time I should stick to the basics and not try to get fancy. I don’t want a bad experience to taint my future experiences.

  172. Plus, now I get a Kolsch before bed. Yum.

  173. I’m glad you had a good birfday, J’Ames. Have a second Kolsch for me.

  174. Nova episode from a few years back is on right now. 3D Spies of World War II. Fascinating stuff, and it mentions some of the settings in Gravity’s Rainbow.

  175. CoAl, I wear the Blue Vest. Not the Green. I can’t wait for Scan & Go. Bentonville Sam’s has already rolled out the iPad order and pay for cafe! I can’t wait!!!! (Birmingham MSSs to me after our corporate roll ot with Roz in AR: oh honey, you’re so sweet. It will still take 7 minutes of your break for cafe and your greeters will never understand pre-pay. You are such a sweetie for believing)

  176. today was probably the worst day of work ever.

  177. How many bodies did you have to bury?

  178. Probably none. If it was that bad, a pyre was probably in order.

  179. Here’s the list:

    Only three servers scheduled for the morning
    Hostess no-showed (she got a new job and did the FUCK YOU trick)
    I fell in the kitchen
    We had a bitch fight between two guests and had to call the police
    The bartender got sick and had to go home
    The manager fell in the dining room (the roof was leaking????) and had to go to urgent care
    Leaving us with no manager for closing until the GM could get there
    And a dishwasher quit/walked out.

    I think that’s everything.

  180. Did anyone get pregnant?

  181. Are you ok? Falls can be sneaky

  182. Add it that it wasn’t a smooth shift and busy and hot and just basically horrible.

  183. I landed on my knee kinda hard but I think I’m ok.

    I didn’t land on a dick so I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant.

  184. Hate days like that. One thing goes wrong, and it’s like dominos.

  185. Bitch fight:

    Kinda bitchy lady from my section goes to the bathroom with granddaughter. Upon leaving she realizes that she’s left her wallet or something in the stall. She returns and tells the lady in the stall that her wallet is in there – bla bla bla.

    Bitch lady claims she heard noises (that sounded like the woman was rifling through the wallet) and the lady comes out and gives it to her.

    But NOW – $100 (which later turns into $150) is missing.

    @@@@ OH MY FREAKING GOD people.

    The accused is a nice looking lady who didn’t really look the part.

    It was just unbelievable.

    The bitchy lady says the woman had time enough “to shove it up her cooch”.

    She had a point there …

  186. I didn’t land on a dick so I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant.

    You’re probably okay. Unless it was jizz that you slipped on.

  187. Colex said “taint.”

  188. Car in I H8 wallet/phone/purse people.

  189. It was all rather amazing. Accused woman wanted a free dinner because it was our fault … how?

  190. Obviously you should have put cameras in each of the stalls to catch such unscrupulous ruffians. It worked for Chuck Berry.

  191. Responsibility people!!! You are responsible for your keys, phones, wallets, purses, rings. Woman took off a $1200 turquoise belt. Hung it on bathroom stall door. Forgot. Went back, belt was gone. Why is that my problem???

  192. xactly.

  193. Carin, our DLs and IDs weren’t grandfathered. Rush on Passports. Susana finally got a real ID bill passed. Mean time, Passports everywhere. Do you know how many passports each week are lost in our Club? WTF?

  194. It worked for Chuck Berry.

    That was some quality lulz right there.

  195. Gay weatherman was talking about “Huge shafts of rain”. Really? Really?

  196. 🎶🎶its raining men, Hallelujah l.🎶🎶🎶

  197. PG, they don’t even try anymore

  198. Raine is the name of his boyfriend.

  199. CoAl, I know! Sometimes local media is more gay than my gayest friend on the gaydar. Have I mentioned how gay my retail friends are?


    /Tonight Show audience

  201. Sean, they are so gay…

  202. Queue Match Game theme song

  203. Sweeter than derp
    Softer than a summer night
    Everything I want I have
    Whenever I hold you tight

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