Orange Wire

Vik Muniz

b. 1961 Sao Paulo, Nova Scotia.

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Eclectic and prolific, there is an entire universe of Muniz to explore.

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Yet again, I was not aware of Muniz before researching for this column which is odd in that he’s a really famous artist.  It just goes to show how low-brow, under-exposed, pedestrian, and milquetoast I truly am.

But enough about my virtues; let me succinctly highlight one of my many faults.  I have a poor concept of the passage of time when I am working on a production.  Please allow me to ask a straight faced question.

Did I miss posting last Tuesday?

don’t ask me.  I’m not myself these days.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I am myself but this myself is not the myself that kicks it at The H2.  This is who I was prior 2009 and my re-deployment to film life has been an unique vignette into how my life would have been different had I zigged instead of zagged when I retired.

I miss you.

I am exhausted.



ch -_-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


  1. No, Chumpo, you did not miss last Tuesday.

    I like the Venice one.

  2. Nova Scotia???

  3. I got nothing. On the upside, I get to poke around with video game graphics today.

  4. Sesame Street pisses me off every time I’m stuck watching it now. Anyone want a list of reasons?

  5. Nova Scotia???

    I saw that and assumed it was a joke.

  6. “Anyone want a list of reasons?” No.

  7. I wrote that 36 hrs ago.
    As it happens I’m not actually -_-Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz yet.

    Allllmost, alllllllll-yawn-most.

    -_- z

  8. You all are punchy.

    I’ve been slipping in gags such as Provo, Spain and Ho Chi Mihn City, AL as long as I’ve been posting here.

    That’s all right. I’ll raise tha bah.
    Zimma or Bartles & James?

  9. This Milo article has so many great quotes that I worried he was a lurker here. Or possibly Mare when she’s lucid.

  10. I like dis art. Prospective artieests should always throw in a skeleton or skull to catch Chumpos fancy and make the wire.

    Also, hello from high heat low humidity Inland Empire. From your high drag low speed Corespondent.

  11. “Fat girls can dance!” we’re hectored. Fine, that’s also good excer— no, actually, you can’t. And stop coming to gay clubs, you’re repellant.


  12. ww.

    AC guy is here, so I’m distracted.

  13. Crazy neighbor lady called and left a message. She wants me and Laura to call her back, on speakerphone, to discuss our garden hose usage.

  14. Close the blinds, you perv!

  15. Did you spray her with it or something?

  16. She sent a text too,

    Something about neighborhood kids turning on faucets at night.

  17. Milo’s a piece of shit and in any decent society he would have been beaten to death a long time ago.

  18. Where’s mare?

    The musings, although very funny, are getting a bit stale.

    The fat chicks with tattoos comment is hilarious.

  19. Hose control is important, just ask your mom…

    Be sure to use the phrase “When they pry it from my cold dead hands…” in you discussion.

  20. He’s leading a gay pride march through a Muslim neighborhood in Sweden soon, so maybe that decent society will grant your wish.

  21. Milo’s a piece of shit and in any decent society he would have been beaten to death a long time ago.
    Wow, really?

  22. I enjoy Milo. I don’t agree 100% with what he says, but I’m happy he’s brave enough to say what he thinks, and doesn’t give a shit.

  23. There’s almost no one I agree with 100%. John C. Wright comes close, but even then I often differ on tone.

  24. Hosefochers

  25. Something about neighborhood kids turning on faucets at night.

    Diabolical. Set up game cameras.

  26. scott, quit turning on crazy neighbor lady’s faucets.

    Maybe it’s the ghost of Fat Bastard.

  27. Something about neighborhood kids turning on faucets at night.

    Diabolical. Set up game cameras.

    Nah…Snare traps.

  28. No water at home. Waiting for well service company to call. Kids in the neighborhood could turn on all of my faucets. Wouldn’t do any good.

  29. I enjoy Milo as well, although he’s simply a massive troll.

    I like poking a finger in the eye, though.

    I socked a lib a few weeks back on AoS just for fun–my fun–and the commenters there aren’t exactly Mark Twain. It’s sad, really.

  30. scott did it, Hotspur. Better go to the meeting.

  31. scott, quit turning on crazy neighbor lady’s faucets.

    if that ain’t a euphemism I’ll kiss your ass on the court house square at noon.

  32. heh, when did you sock a lib? I haven’t read comments in a while.

  33. When your primary opponent is Trigglypuff, shitlord fat-shaming is just good business. I was surprised JC Penney was still an ongoing business concern. Thought they died years ago.

  34. I better use up my gift certificate from JC soon.

  35. It was a few weeks back. Most of the responses were really well thought out. Like, ‘you suck,’ or ‘I don’t particularly care for your comment.’

  36. A) Exellent art, Chumpo. We miss you.

    B) When am I not lucid, Leon?

    C) Get the Veggie Tales CD for possum and tell SS to shove it up their cookie hole.

  37. Milo can be insulting and appear to be an ass – but my take on it is that he’s merely pushing back. He’s being as rude (back) as the PC folks are being. We’re just so used to our side being polite. He’s a big fu.

    and, to be honest – aside from his insults (which are usually hilarious) he’s pretty much correct.

  38. The left makes it impossible for the right to speak. You have to confidently command the conversation or you will never be heard. And by “confidently command” I mean shout over their screeching.

  39. I’m not at home so I’m not online reading you goofs as much as I’d like. But I know gardening and probably something about pooping is going on.

  40. I’ve watched a few of his speeches. His critics are not very bright. Even at good colleges they seem to be very, very large children.

    They scream things like, ‘Your hate speech is violent so you should be killed!’

    ‘I hate you because of your hate speech!’

    ‘I’m here as a male feminist because I never want anyone to take me seriously or to have a shot at getting laid in college, which is like observing fish in a sustainable, responsible, natural habitat! Shooting fish in a barrel is hate speech!’

    Possible that I made up that last one.

  41. They scream things like, ‘Your hate speech is violent so you should be killed!’
    ‘I hate you because of your hate speech!’


    That sums up all of the baby lefty arguments. Hahahahahah

  42. The prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

  43. $1,000 lighter. I needed a new fucking pump.

  44. Did you at least try Viagra first?

  45. So the Benghazi report confirms what we all suspected: the WH was more concerned with damage control and avoiding an unpleasant narrative two months prior to the election than they were with rescuing Ambassador Stevens and the others.

  46. We just got a $800 bill to fix our AC.

    How old is the pump?

  47. The administration’s story immediately afterwards was laughably weak. Insultingly weak. You shouldn’t even have to have your bullshit detector plugged in to see though it. Benghazi alone, should’ve guaranteed a Romney presidency. But the majority of our electorate just simply doesn’t give a fuck. Just keep the free shit coming and don’t call me a racist.

  48. It’s actually quite funny. I always think that the people that came up with the story had to debate whether or not the media would run with it.

    At some point I assumed the whole thing was a giant trolling exercise to see how much Obama could get away with it.

    4 dead in a secret CIA outpost in the country that you just toppled?

    Tell everyone a YouTube video was responsible.


  49. Along with a VERY dead Gay Ambassador on fucking 9/11……naw….it was just a video that prompted all that. The sad thing is that it is sooooo intellectually insulting that it could prompt a otherwise normal individual to snap.

    How much longer do you think people will continue being pissed on and told its just raining? I have to ignore most of this travesty of a .gov and society right now just to maintain sanity.

  50. Oh yeah. I forgot it was on 9/11 and he was gay.

    Man, they sure do hate the pokey pokey team. What’s up with that?

    In most Muslim countries don’t they have sex with boys?

  51. MJ,

    My theory is that they knew about the video for a while, and were trying to find the right moment to gin up outrage over it so that Obama could give another “historic!” speech. When Benghazi occurred they didn’t want to get dragged into a foreign policy debacle, so they tried to shift it to a domestic debate about the “limits” of free speech.

  52. Reading Buddy Ryans obit. Claims he was a Korean war vet but also claims that he lettered for okie light in 52 53 54 & 55. Don’t see how he would have time to do both.

  53. They found some long forgotten hadith that allows them buggery.

  54. That seems rational but never rule out incompetence.

    But why the hate for Milo?

  55. Bacha bazi is what they call it. We call it pedophilia. I just heard a story either on TV or the radio that caught my ear just as it was ending, something about how they’re going to try and limit it now, swearsies. Pretty sure that’s what the SOF guy who was threatened with a court martial was protesting with his fists. He was recently let off the hook.

  56. Oh yeah, I forgot about the guy and the courts martial. That really ticked me off.

  57. Foot is doing better jimbro, and the doc never called back. Even after I did on Monday. Still swollen a bit, but hurts less.

  58. I was going to wait until swelling went down before resuming workouts. Sound about right?

  59. Yeah, I think you’re safe with less intense activities not involving your feet. Upper body stuff, leg stuff not involving kicking all sound safe. I’d start easy on the bag when you finally go back to that. Maybe set a timer and get done regardless of how you feel after 10 minutes.

  60. Just like us!

  61. I’ve been doing an on line exam for CME hours for something we call MOC. Maintenance of Certification. I have enough hours but it will push me over if I get it done and save me from entering all of the certificates from outside sources that I would need to do without it. Time to get back to camp. See ya!

  62. get that grill started! report back!

  63. Caption is “Gay? Blind? or Recently deceased?”

  64. I found the passion fruit! Lilikoi Kepolo clone coming up!

  65. Passion fruit killed it.

  66. I’ve never eaten passionfruit. Any good?

  67. Tart, like grapefruit, and a little more exotic taste.

  68. Its all fraggerknackle Bullshit! (obscure reference of the day)

  69. Re: Buddy Ryan, sounds like he was a draftee (he was stationed in Japan with the Army of Occupation, and played football for the Army). After his two year obligation, looks like he went back and went to school.

  70. It is so nice having a water heater. Now, we wait for the inspector.

  71. So when do you suppose a literal white church full of Lutherans is going to get blowed up and white christian republicans will be to blame rather than the ‘lone wolf’ who was wearing an ISIS jacket and shouting ‘[God] is greatest!’?

  72. Got $20 bucks handy, Oso? 😉

  73. Pepe, my cousin’s neighbor is a plumber. (Hush Scott) 24 hours after Dan called him, we have a water heater. Paid in cash. “Waiting” for an inspector.

  74. A few years ago, when construction was really slow, inspectors were red tagging everything, just so they could come back and bill the contractor again.

  75. Pepe, I was ready to contact the city. Dan is all about “Waiting”. Onus is on plumber.

  76. I deboned a whole chicken (still together) and stufffed it. I will report back.

  77. We have the freedom to do whatever-the-hell-we-want with our water heaters.

    Why do they feel they need to inspect them?

  78. Pics? I love this idea and I’m jelly. Grill or oven?

  79. Oven because our deck is being redone.

  80. Scott, we just adopted Cali regs. Earthquake straps in NM? CO can’t even have rain barrels. This is NOT America!!!

  81. What’s the problem with rain barrels?

  82. I googled. They are legal again.

    How stupid.

  83. Leon, I keep seeing ads for cars that will brake on their own.

    What happens if you are on the highway and about to collide with a large plastic bag?

  84. Scott, really? In CO and OR? 💩 We could’ve made sales in those places. Cali has restrictions on smokers and grills worse than NM.

  85. Driverless submarine probably would have saved that kid at Disney.

  86. I remember watching Jacques Pepin debone a whole she-kahn on TV years and years ago. Magic of today: just watched that same show again on youtube.

    People don’t really understand how amazing this life is now.

  87. Restrictions on grills and smokers?

    Suddenly the East coast doesn’t look so stupid.

  88. Man, they sure do hate the pokey pokey team. What’s up with that?
    In most Muslim countries don’t they have sex with boys?

    Most historical opposition to homosexuality is opposition to anything that either

    a) Detracts from marriage and family, and thus threatens to destabilize society
    b) Emasculates a man, thus in theory weakening him and making him unfit to defend society.

    Fucking little boys doesn’t do either in their world view. There’s no relationship of equals. The boy is used for pleasure, and then the man goes home to the wife and kids. And since the man is dominant, he is not emasculated.

  89. Scott, we can’t grill or smoke within 10 feet of a building. I think Cali is electric/natural gas only. It is Sofa King.

  90. …aaaand then I watched Pepin doing the same technique on Rachel Ray’s show 20+ years later and it was a complete abortion.

    His original show was him quietly demonstrating an efficient technique with charming commentary.

    The Rachel Ray version is him attempting to do the same thing, but with Rachel Ray braying idiotic and boorish remarks and fake-laughing while he winces, and her studio audience applauding at stupid moments like he’s a trained fucking seal instead of an educated man and a master of craft.


    Come, meteor. We are ready for you. It’s time.

  91. Wait, Lauraw can’t summon meteors!!! I’m telling UNCLE!!!! *slams door on blog

  92. Waits for it…

  93. There will be no unauthorized summonings!

  94. 10 feet? Are they allowed to have an oven inside?

  95. Inside ok. Patios, balconies, small yards hardest hit

  96. Hotspur is out of hock. Been in a warehouse in Arcadia, MI since the fall of ’05. I owed storage for the last five years. Ouch.

    Now we clean her up and go have fun.

  97. “I owed storage for the last five years. Ouch.”

    That’s a lot of hornblowing.

  98. Yeah, tell me about it. But, I can’t wait to get back aboard. Our plan is to go to Detour, MI, and spend the summer there. Then get hauled out and stored at Drummond Island Yacht Haven for the winter.

  99. Good for you.

    Why did you park it for 5 years?

  100. That sounds glorious, Hotspur! Please post pics now and again, if you think of it.

  101. Some guy is sailing around the world with a chicken.

    Let me know if you want to borrow one of my girls.

  102. After we sold the inn, HotBride had family health issues, then her own health issues, then she became CEO of the fucking co-op. So time flew. And it sucks that we can’t get it back.

  103. Leon, I keep seeing ads for cars that will brake on their own.

    What happens if you are on the highway and about to collide with a large plastic bag?

    RADAR is tied to brakes for that, and plastic bags don’t have a large RCS, shouldn’t trigger it. Believe it or not, they actually do test crap like that. Our “possible scenario” spreadsheet for the program is mind-numbingly large, and we have to test all of it eventually.

  104. Make the best of what you have.

  105. A chicken might make it better.

  106. Ask Brad.

  107. >>Now we clean her up and go have fun.<<

    Xbrad, the floor is yours.

  108. Today’s bitch session about teh millenials.

    “I need some help today. Want to go make some measurements on flight hardware?”

    “No, thanks.” “No, thank you.”

    WTF. Two stupidest interns on the face of the planet. Why are you here if you don’t want to mess with stuff that’s going to go to space?

    I blame Mrs. Cuffy.

  109. Roamy, you have to engage them. They aren’t about 💰. They need to understand value and the why? They aren’t automatans. They are the most tolerant and best educated.

  110. WTF makes their constituency get their water heaters inspected.

    These asshole need more prostitutes to keep them busy, less legislating. Like Texas every two years.

  111. We should hire a millenial to keep Leon’s horse company.

  112. Our interns are much better than that, even the blonde who plays cute to get men to help her be a programmer.

  113. Mare!

  114. No way, Scott, they’d open the gate and let her go or some stupid shit.

  115. As someone who has been going to college for the last few years; you aren’t really speaking the same language when you ask this generation that kind of question. They become terrified that you are going to ‘find out’ that they are utter novices.

    They are so literal-minded that, yes, they actually believe you are asking them to do your work, with all the responsibility that goes with it.

    Don’t ask them. Tell them: “Let’s go measure some flight hardware, shall we? Follow me.”

  116. I did Phase II of the Marie Kondo thing today and got rid of about 80% of our books.

    Next: Papers. ::SHUDDER::

    This part is going to take a while. And fill many bins.

  117. Lauraw, you have to get the buy in. Not about money. Common cause. Common corps

  118. I hate getting rid of books. It’s painful. When I moved from Fort Huachuca to Fort Polk I got rid of 80% of my books and it was physically painful.

  119. English? The fuck, crazybear? Over

  120. Re: millennials.

    You have to remember that for a lot of them they’ve spent their entire lives carefully scripting everything to look “perfect”. No mistakes, but also no real risks taken. Looking like a novice in front of someone higher up than them is frightening because they’ve been trained to think that any mistake will throw them off their “life plan”.

  121. Scott, that video is beyond awesome!! Sending to my kids now!

  122. I look forward to plenty of pics of Hotbride and Hotspur.

  123. Loving this new mattress – it’s so comfy!

  124. Have you “broken it in” yet? JK….I know you’re fresh out of the hospital.

  125. They are not technically my interns. They are working in my group and are officially assigned to two of the physicists. I thought it would be a neat experience for them. They knew it was hot outside and that if they stuck with their current advisors, they would be staying inside where it was nice and cool.

  126. Thinking about the Istanbul thing today. Along with the Orlando and San Bernadino ommiteds that we’ve dealt with here lately. Also the German and Scandi rapefests and the Paris shootings.

    At some point in time it may come to pass that all these brutally stupid motherfuckers in the west who’ve been chastising the Israelis for fighting back against the palis, may have an aw haw moment. It might occur to them that the Israelis have been acting rationally given their circumstances. I’m probably just dreaming. They seem incapable of surrendering an inch of their world view.

  127. To be fair, Bama summers can be a bit sticky.

  128. >>>Hotspur is out of hock.

    Bringing home a Suzuki Samurai that I bought brand-new in 1987 this coming weekend.

    Just needs a little love and it will be road-ready.

    So looking forward to getting my favorite car ever home again.

  129. And they knew they would be helping me, not that I was going to turn them loose on it. I wanted someone to help me carry equipment and take notes. Too much effort for them.

    I was also trying not to get banned from the lab again, because when it’s hot like this, I wear down in a hurry. (preemptive SYWM)

  130. Pendejo, they blame Christians and the NRA for Orlando. Dream on.

  131. On the better side, I did get to mess with flight hardware today, so life is good.

  132. Bitching about millenials and liberals kilt it.

  133. here’s my baby in her younger days…

  134. Those old Suzukis were fun little trucks.

  135. Who’s the balding guy in the second picture?

  136. Who’s the balding guy in the second picture?

    Oh, I was not balding then. I had hair, muthafucka. tons and tons of beautiful brown hair…..

  137. They were
    I just heard a giant clatter and roar.
    Upon investigation my 4×4′ bathroom mirror fell and broke into millions of pieces. I would admit if I had something to do with it, but I was reading a book in the other room with both dogs at my feet.

    Now my hands and feet are bloody from trying to clean up, but where the hell does one put a 12″ x 18″ wide piece of glass?

  138. I had that car when wiserbride and I were married.

    We went to St. Johns for our honeymoon.

    At the car rental center, they gave us a…


    One of the reasons I love that car. It never tried to be a badass Jeep. It was just a simple, fun car.

  139. where the hell does one put a 12″ x 18″ wide piece of glass?

    In a smaller, better hung frame?

  140. Great idea Wiser, a hammer a blanket and a small cardboard box.

    I have Kevlar gloves around here maybe that will help cuts.

  141. Wiser looks like Elvis in that picture.
    I should put up Lotus pictures, but I looked like a long-haired pinko commie fag hipster douche-bag, so I won’t…

  142. I should put up Lotus pictures, but I looked like a long-haired pinko commie fag hipster douche-bag, so I won’t…

    oh come on…. we all looked stupid in our earlier days….

    well.. except me….

  143. still waiting for a video of the lovely Anita playing the viola…..

  144. Fifty feet tall and revved up too high
    All of our exchanges are by candle light
    I just realised
    He’ll derp through the walls and creep up behind
    Make sense of the maze that you were
    Stuck outside
    Cover your eyes

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