Cannon Wire

Kieth Shore

b. in the past,  Philadelphia.


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Shore’s art.  It’s pop.

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It’s in my world.

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It sux.

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I saw it at a Brewery today in San D.

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I saw it on a billboard too in L.A.

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Sink or swim, he’s a today artist.


Chaff or wheat?

Your aesthetic changes a little everyday, if you’re lucky.


  1. Get well soon, TiFW!

  2. “Before his time”

    “An acquired taste”


  3. Two fat guys bringing a treadmill up the escalator made me laugh


  5. There’s some sort of subversive criticism here that I find cynical.

  6. That two hands and a lemon painting is basically a glorified Goatse.

  7. Lemon Party 2016

    Needs a clever campaign slogan

  8. >>Lemon Party 2016
    Needs a clever campaign slogan

    We will stretch wide and accept you.

  9. Make America gape again

  10. Two in every .

  11. ^Two (redacted) in every (redacted).

  12. Jimbro, I laughed at the treadmill picture too.

    Otherwise, I’m just not a fan. I find his aesthetic to be more anesthetic.

  13. Wakey wakey.

    Finish my coffee and then more “sanding”.

  14. Day 2. Alone in the house.

    Near death. Zero sandwiches.

  15. Another fat guys on the escalator fan. That and the gorilla.

    Couldn’t find an alligator pic?

  16. Car in, what’s that buzzing sound?

  17. So, I ask you, why would you translate ‘Allah’ as God when the person was speaking English for every other word and deliberately chose to say ‘Allah’ rather than ‘God’? If I say ‘sombrero’ is Lynch going to alter the transcript to show that I said ‘hat’?

  18. We. Have. To. Get. THe. Spindles. Done. By. Wednesday.

    We’re on a “schedule”.

  19. You do that to protect your mentors, leon. Allah means God anyway, right? Close enough, the two are interchangeable, amirite?

  20. I only have to sand the top deck. The side thing I’m just going to clean and brighten When I’m done doing all this grunt work, I’m going to demand new deck furniture.

  21. Ah yes, the “spindles”.

  22. We all worship the same god. I’ve only heard that a million times. It must be right.

  23. We all have one friend…

  24. But the deck furniture is built in, Car in!

  25. Meanwhile, shits piling up in the house and my garden is in desperate need of love.

  26. I just have that bench. I need moar. I want something more comfortable to lounge in. I’d also like a table that “fits” there, but we’ll probably have to make something.

  27. Stolen from a terrible, not tremendous, very sad website.

    Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren, and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar:

    During their chat things get a little risque, and the topic of fisting gets brought up.

    Nancy Pelosi says, “My girlfriend got her whole hand to fit last week.”
    Elizabeth Warren replied, “That’s nothing, last night my lover got both of her hands inside of me.”

    Hillary just cackles as she starts slowly sliding down her stool.

  28. Making something is better anyway. Make leon and hotspur come help you.

  29. Plus. apparently Ethan’s on the year round soccer thing. Fall soccer is already starting up for high school training … ????

  30. Aaaaand there’s that friend right now!

  31. MJ – gross.

  32. The only reason we didn’t have football all summer was because everyone was also on the baseball team.

  33. They really should come and help. I’ll let them pet moose.

  34. We’ve never had soccer start SO early. THere was informal stuff. This is apparently not informal.

  35. It’s not like you have five pairs of helping hands available.

  36. Football would start right after football season if we let them.

    I’m sure soccer is the same, since it has the same name in other countries that don’t know any better.

  37. I have two pairs, and they are helping. THe other three are working.

  38. you just need more kids then.

  39. On Tuesday, AFAUSSS, which is strictly nonpartisan, is set to release a statement blasting Gary Byrne author of “Crisis in Character,” saying members “strongly denounce” the book, which they add has made security harder by eroding the trust between agents and the people they protect.

    “strictly nonpartisan”


  40. THe other three are working.

    You do it in your spare time when you aren’t at work. Same rules.

  41. Naw. They leave at 6:30 in the morning and aren’t home until (at the earliest) 7 at night. Most nights later 8- or 8:30. Matt usually eats, showers, then goes to bed.

  42. We all worship the same god. I’ve only heard that a million times. It must be right.

    *puts on amateur theologian sombrero*

    Insomuch as we worship God at all, we all worship one God, because there is only one. Our concept of God, however, can be so wrong as to not be God at all. When we worship God as a loving Father who adopts us as his own children and cares for us so deeply that he gave his one and only son as a bloody sacrifice, or when we worship him as a brother who laid down his life as that sacrifice, or when we worship him as the spirit of love between that father and that son, we’re correctly worshiping God and understanding him as he’s revealed himself. The further one deviates from that, the less correctly one is worshiping the God that is, and the more one is worshiping an invention of man.

    ‘Allah’ has no son, no children adopted or otherwise, only slaves and those who should be slaves but reject him. He has enemies to be slain or conquered, and does not love you, only your obedience. He’s not God, and that’s why Muslims suffer so. They look toward God and can feel only a yoke that demands submission, not a love that grants freedom. Pity them, and fear what their improper vision of God leads them to do in their mistaken attempts to please him.

    *doffs amateur theologian sombrero*

  43. Why are all of the women Obama has placed in high office such hags? Sotomayor, Lynch, Kagan, Jarrett…

    You’d think maybe Mooch has some say in who he selects.

  44. We should probably go ahead and ban the AR 10 through 13 just to be safe.

  45. Goat fuckers and child molesters.

  46. No, the AR-10 is too small, barely a gun. Ban the 11-13, though, they are all assaulty and ebil.

  47. I’m going to predict that there is no Brexit. The vote will be rigged to prevent it.

  48. I tend to agree. There’s no way the Brits will be allowed to vote themselves out. They’ll be told that they don’t want it, repeatedly, and made to feel that it’s the minority opinion, no matter how the vote goes. A majority vote to exit that Parliament ignored would just result in the French Revolution on the other side of the channel.

  49. Michelle Obama: one language
    Melania Trump: six languages
    Melania Trump is a vapid bimbo

  50. I will bet you, HS, that there is a Brexit.

    Double portion of tartar sauce when I have to fly to AA this winter.

  51. That math is wrong, MJ, Michelle doesn’t fully speak one language.

  52. Sure she do.

  53. haaa haaa hhhaaaa…

    I mean, that’s racist.

  54. Leon – my comment was tongue in cheek

  55. It’s one of those simplistic/middle school level “deep” thoughts you hear from the SJW crowd.

  56. It ranks up there with the other one that rankles me : ” If God exists, how come he hasn’t proven it?”

  57. I vote TEXIT.

  58. I assumed so, Carin, I just had to get that out. I don’t know if I read it or it’s my own thought, but so much of what we see playing out of Islam makes sense in light of their concept of God. And the first part of what I said is the only way to make sense of Papal statements about us worshiping the same God. Those aren’t just Francis, either, Benedict and St JPII said the same thing. It’s true, but only in that limited sense that I mentioned.

    It’s also possible that I’m some kind of Aspie and I monologue when I think I’ve got something to say.

  59. Texit could be good, wife has already said we should emigrate if it comes. Michigan will never leave unless it’s to join Canada, and that thought is repugnant in the era of Trudeau la Douche.

  60. I wanna divorce from these progressive imbeciles.

  61. An Alaska exit is similarly attractive to Texit, though it would likely end up a Russian satellite or a Canadian territory/protectorate.

  62. Im willing to give them everything east of the Mississippi. (The river makes a good border)

  63. Oh… and we’re taking over Mexico…Im paying for it anyway, might as well make it productive.

  64. I’m all for it. Mexico is a failed state in need of conquering and rectification. Plus their southern border is much easier to wall off.

  65. Still better than what got foisted on the HQ.

  66. So what should we talk about now?

  67. I have an interview Friday morning that I hope goes well. I could go back to Defense/Security if it does.

  68. WTF leon?

    How many interviews can one person have without taking the job?

    You’re a job tease.

  69. I had an interview with the same company a few months ago for different work. This one is the “mere formality” before they can make me an offer, I’m told. Not holding my breath, but I did have lunch with the program manager, lead systems engineer, and lead developer last month, and they all want me there, just have to get the company to get its ducks in a row.

    This is the company that bought my old building. I’m on a first name basis with almost everyone there. I actually owe one guy there $40 because he floated my entry fee for the Tri Adventure Race last month.

  70. Im willing to give them everything east of the Mississippi.

    I don’t want Iowa to be a border state. I would act as coyote for leon, car in, and Hotspur. Not sure yet on MJ.

  71. Eh, it’s cool. I can live among them.

    One thing I’ve noticed is that they are simultaneously naive and scared to death of everything. It’s a weird combo.

  72. I’m just kidding MJ. You’d fit in a small suitcase anyway, so I’d only charge you half price.

  73. leon would fit in one too, but he’d weigh a lot more, like carrying bricks around. Full price for him.

  74. Eh, it’s cool. I can live among them.

    You say that now, but only because they are somewhat constrained. Unleash them in their statism and the neighborliness will vanish like your AR-11.

  75. No worries, Jay, I’ll just blaze my own path across.

    *straps on flamethrower and loads wagon with spare propane tanks*

  76. Thats the problem…. they wont let you “live” among them….

  77. We definitely need video of the flamethrower. Make sure Mrs leon knows where to upload the Darwin video.

  78. Vin Scully doesn’t like socialism

    from the sidebar

  79. Dont worry Leon…. I’ll hold yer beer and a fire extingusher

  80. Oh, you’ll get video.

    I’m curious if I can just buy one of those baked potato suits firefighters use.

  81. SF@LAD: Scully on Bumgarner, his wife and snakes

    Story time: Madison Bumgarner, cattle roping, snakes, and rabbits. Funneh!

  82. Old Eddie Murphy skit…… NOW THATS A FIRE!!…… roll Uncle Leon on the ground….just roll him on the ground,… he’ll be alright….

  83. love that one, tt!

  84. Just give me a heads-up when you plan to turn over the East, ‘kay? Gotta get my ducks in a row to evac to Free America, me and dad (kee-rist, having to look after a declining parent as things go to hell is not how I saw my life going…)

  85. I would like this artist to explain all of his paintings because there has to be some funny stories involved.

  86. The aluminized suits are pretty pricy, but a fire-retardant coverall can be had for ~$60. I can add some gauntlets and a motorcycle helmet and probably be okay.

  87. Safety Gear? What the fuck is up with that? You dont need no Safety gear! You gotta test the flamethrower wearing nothing but yer boxers. That way none of your clothes catch fire and you get burned.

    Look, we’ll do it next to the pond, we’ll get a bunch of long sticks and if something goes wrong, we’ll use the sticks to push you in the pond. But only if the extinguisher and the garden hose dont do the trick….triple redundant safety plan…..

  88. I was considering making a plate with lexan and nomex for mounting the backpack fuel tank, so a fuel-source detonation wouldn’t necessarily set me ablaze.

    Look, I know people are hoping I blow up, I plan to disappoint them.

  89. On Tuesday, AFAUSSS, which is strictly nonpartisan, is set to release a statement blasting Gary Byrne author of “Crisis in Character,” saying members “strongly denounce” the book, which they add has made security harder by eroding the trust between agents and the people they protect.

    Like a book is gonna strain relationships any worse than every day interaction does. All it changes is that the queen knows that they know that she’s a total shitass. And at this point, what difference does it make?

  90. I was also thinking of building a little cinder block shelter to store it in.

  91. The Security Company I worked for from 92 to 04 was DC based and its 7 founders were all former Secret Service. At one time we had a retired Director of the Secret Service heading up our Investigation Division. To say that the SS disliked Bill and Hillary because they treated the agents like shit would be a understatement. It was common knowledge. This AFAUSS group is pissed because the guy is talking which is considered a professional no no.

    And I never gave a shit if a Principal “trusted” me.

  92. Pay up your life insurance, Rachel Jenteal.

  93. Well duh.

  94. Well, we’re only expecting a high of 114 today.

  95. If I lived where XBrad does, I wouldn’t be doing any flamethrowing.

  96. But its a Dry Heat…

  97. When did xbrad become the H2 weatherman.

  98. Cool. I got a $16.35 amazon credit for something or other.

  99. Remember just about every winter when Xbrad bragged about how wonderful the weather was out there while we were digging out here in Michigan?

  100. Yeah. I’ll take Michigan winters over California desert summers.

  101. I’ll take your mom.

  102. MJ,
    You did not list all the languages Moochelle can speak:

    Black Supremacy

  103. To be fair, I don’t think she speaks Wookie fluently.

  104. She speaks Bitchy Affirmative Action Glump perfectly.

  105. U.S. Constitution was ratified today in 1788.

  106. For Leon

  107. How come Leon never features this gal on Monday? The most fit first lady ever:

  108. ^ab veins. Amiright?

  109. I didn’t know Michelle could do that. Thanks Tushar!

  110. And someone (mare) please explain this outfit. TIA

  111. Because I’m a dirty racist, Carin.

    Also I wish I had that level of muscularity in my shoulders anymore, not to mention the strength and control.

  112. Car in does that at Zumba.

  113. Actually, I probably have that much muscle, it’s the layer of obscuring insulation that’s the problem.

  114. Also I wish I had that level of muscularity in my shoulders anymore, not to mention the strength and control.

    Not joke. I mean, I’ve had this window open for a bit and I’ve seen her to that about 40 times ..

  115. It’s basically a gymnastic move. So one that just about every somewhat accomplished gymnast could do.

  116. Right. I can do front levers and tucked front lever rows, and handstand pushups against a wall, but haven’t tried to do an L-sit to handstand transition since I was maybe 10. The pull-up and dip station I have at home isn’t steady enough that I’d feel safe attempting it there, either.

  117. And someone (mare) please explain this outfit. TIA


    Black is slimming? *cough*

  118. Imagine how she’d look in pink, then.

  119. Because of the shadow in the picture she looks pregnant.

  120. I’m surprised the photo got out.

  121. Well. Two people at work had never heard of snake pits.

    One image search later and that was rectified.

    Also, they probably hate my guts now.

  122. She is a lot bigger than Barack/Barry/lying asshole.

  123. “I’ve had this window open for a bit and I’ve seen her to that about 40 times ..”

    She should be getting tired any minute now…

    The pic(s) Tushar posted wont render….. Im thinking this may not be a bad thing…

  124. Oh, that was a nice video, Lauraw. Those backhoe operators are so skilled.

  125. I think she dresses in those … things … they look like the jackets communist leader wear – because she’s in such horrible shape/ doesn’t look healthy.

    It’s camo.

  126. No Brother Cavil, she’s still going. Form is still ON point.

  127. She should contract with the guys that obscure upcoming cars and trucks for F*rd. The digital pattern supposedly makes it really hard to discern contour lines and shapes in photographs.

  128. I’m more concerned our possible future president would wear this shit:

  129. Leon – When Dear Hillary become POTUS, we won’t be allowed to gaze at her (as as it was for the secret service and stuff when she was first lady). So it won’t matter what she wears.

  130. I can cross “get retweeted by Instapundit” off my list.

    get sober
    grow a beard
    your mom
    get retweeted by Instapundit
    murder b-rad
    finish writing novel
    time travel

  131. Sean, link or it never happened.

  132. /looks puzzled as to what Car In was responding to

  133. It looks like it was a response to my comment Brother Cavill….

  134. And I don’t mean the link to, “your mom.”

  135. I’m sorry. I was distracted. By your mom.

  136. Saw this on twitter and it scares me I agree with Sally Kohn:

  137. Isn’t that the other chick? The ex- sports person.

    /they all look alike to me.

  138. /asks terribletroy’s mom who Mare’s twit-pic is

  139. Well, whoever it is, I agree with the guy who looks like a lesbian.

  140. Anita just got a call from “Microsoft User Research” to ask her about satisfaction/problems/wants re: The Microsoft Dev tools.
    Anita told her; “I’m retired, so I no longer care…”

    The lady laughed and said: “Congratulations on your escape!
    We will update your profile and not bother you again.”

  141. Mom doesnt tweet ….shes twats..

  142. Gah! Water heater didn’t fit. NM uses California regulations and the earthquake band doesn’t leave enough room between heater and furnace. MiL fell again. Hit her head. No concussion. Bruised ribs. Dan spent early AM in hospital with MiL.

  143. Saw this on twitter and it scares me I agree with Sally Kohn:
    That’s not Sally Kohn, it’s Chris Hayes.

  144. >>Mom doesnt tweet ….shes twats..

    I don’t know what that means and I am too afraid to ask.

  145. 18. That’s the age – with teenage girls at least- when mom starts to know things again.

    I feel reborn.

  146. I bought a new hot glue gun a few weeks ago.

    Today I learned how much hotter the glue is. Not fun.

  147. Love love the hay mulch method of gardening. I had some small problems today, but I threw more hay on top of them and now I can’t see them anymore.

    I should take pictures tonight after the shadow of the house covers the garden.

    Would you like to see pictures of my garden? It’s a pile of hay with some plants sticking out of it.

  148. >>Would you like to see pictures of my garden?

    I am assuming ‘garden’ is not a euphemism here.

    Sure, why not?

  149. Chumpo, I have been reading a series of novels here lately where the lead character is a painter and is a big fan of Egon Schiele. I went and looked up Egon Schiele on tittyweb jenkins and he’s kind of a weird motherfucker. Which is to say that he might be a good fit here.

  150. PBC seems to run out of steam around hour 5.

    I had to pull a rod out to keep the temperature above 225.

  151. PS. I’m certainly not trying to tell you how to do your business. You da man. And shit.

  152. I had to pull a rod out to keep the temperature above 225.


  153. Comment by leoncaruthers on June 21, 2016 2:12 pm

    . The pull-up and dip station I have at home isn’t steady enough that I’d feel safe attempting it there, either.

    Chicken…… (please take video).

  154. OMG – I just checked out gas grills on Craigslist.

    Lots of them at great prices. Movers wont take propane tanks.

    I found a twin of my 20 year old Weber for $30. Parts grill !!!!

  155. Poster for Roamy

  156. I don’t get leaving kids in cars. Put your purse, phone, or shoe in backseat to remind yourself your kid is in the car. Really?

  157. Not sure what I’ll be smoking this weekend.

    Possibly a turkey breast. I have a few pieces of salmon that was delivered on accident but I pretty much hate salmon.

  158. Dan left a grocery bag on the counter. 2 cans of sardines. Sneaky.

  159. I never know when to debrief and cocktail anymore.

  160. Another reason that California should be kicked out of the union: to save us from dipshits like this.

    At Impossible Foods, Brown, along with 125 colleagues—pedigreed scientists, nutritionists, techno-marketing experts—is working to perfect a vegan version of the all-American ground-beef patty. His elevator pitch is straight-up Silicon Valley: meatless burgers as a “platform to disrupt” the international meat supply. Cows, according to Brown, are “an inefficient technology” requiring too many inputs to create beef, an output that hasn’t evolved since the Paleolithic age. “The whole mission of this company is to make eating animals unnecessary,” he says. “So, we don’t want our product to just be delicious, we want it to be as delicious as meat.” He would never describe his innovation as “a veggie burger,” which conjures images of bland, frozen constellations of grains and beans. His patty is officially “a combination of proteins, fats, amino acids and vitamins derived from wheat, the roots of soybean plants, coconuts, potatoes and other plant sources.” The goal? To reverse-engineer flavors and textures heretofore exclusive to cows.

  161. Going to Oahu in October. Dan is itinerizing our restaurants.

  162. Another reason that California should be kicked out of the union: to save us from dipshits like this.

    I’ve actually come around to agreeing with La Raza. I think we should turn California over to them. OF course, they would have to leave the US of A once they took ownership. And we would not provide them any relief.

    You want it? Take it. Please.

    And leave the rest of us the fuck alone..

  163. You don’t even need to give them all of it. Just give them the parts west of the mountains and block the passes.

  164. Sean, you and WB need a point/counterpoint on Cali

  165. Dana’s book came out today. Flyovers v Coasties.

  166. That’s wonderful, Oso. Where will you be staying?

  167. We are staying at Ala Moana this time. Cuts down on our walking time. Getting a 1 day rental car. Lobo Football. We are ABC bus pass professionals. LOL

  168. Lots of our fav local restaurants are out of business. Thanks Obama!

  169. $18 for an omelette at Tiki’s? My lesbian Teva’s are made for walking.

  170. I still can’t believe Sam Choy’s Breakfast, Lunch, and Crab is gone. Zippy’s at the Mall…gone. L & L by Walmart…gone.

  171. I should not grocery shop when I am hungry.

  172. Roamy, did you buy sardines?

  173. No, I’m allergic to fish.

    I went in to buy the ingredients for taco ring – Mini-me is cooking dinner tomorrow and has invited her boyfriend over. I came out with the ingredients for taco ring, pasta salad, broccoli slaw, Tuscan soup, and berry tart.

  174. Mmmm Teddy’s Bigger Burger still in biz. KMN loco moco.

  175. Roamy, I remember that. I H8 sardines. Dan is stealth shopping

  176. You and I were the normal people at the sushi restaurant.

  177. I have a few TAS friends on Oahu. They want to meet Dan. Dan doesn’t want to meet anyone. Stupid facedouche bringing people together after 40+ years.

  178. Spam and eggs. Whodafukinthunkit?

  179. Spam and tortilla. With mustard and pepperjack cheese

  180. MJ has a boat?

  181. Damned good idea.

  182. Dan is selecting our seats on our Oahu trip. KMN

  183. Mrs. Pendejo never lets me pick her seat. IYKWIMAITYD

  184. Hahaha We go in OCTOBER!!!! Dan is already choosing our restaurants. In room fridge. Only one “Real” meal a day. Mountain view. Have I ever mentioned how tight Dan is?

  185. TMI

  186. On site laundry room. Looks like we’ll be taking one bag. $25.

  187. Knowing Dan, he’ll make friends with locals first day and we’ll be given stuff from their gardens and they’ll buy his drinks.

  188. Little bloop.

    I’m required to file an 832-A form to the Department of Gorilla Affairs.

  189. Waikiki Walk is pushing lots of local business to the outskirts of Waikiki. Ala Moana looking better and better. I can go to Cheesecake Factory in the Q

  190. Our Club manager was offered Pearl City Sam’s. He’s married to a local chica with retractable umbilical cord. We offered to move to Oahu for him. Guilting him daily.

  191. Dan is pricing the zoo. No longer AZA. The myna bird wouldn’t shut up.


  193. awww yasss, Teddy Pendergrass.

  194. He could be checking out gorilla pits.

    Stay away from the railings.

  195. Scott, the Honolulu Zoo is cool. I think an elephant got loose. It is kind of hot, but animals aren’t at risk from humans. It is the beach that is dangerous. Jellies and the occassional rogue wave. If you go out too far, there are sharks.

  196. I’m #TeamCarin. How many years before the Cincy zoo had a SS infiltrate the gorilla enclosure?

  197. Lemme tell you a story about being lazy.
    So, I went to Ralph’s the other day, and picked up some cheese, and just a couple other things.
    And I knew I needed to get dishwasher detergent pods.
    But the pack was kinda heavy, and I didn’t feel like lugging it to the truck.
    So I said to heck with it. And waited till I got home, and then ordered them from Amazon Prime.

  198. Worst haiku ever.

  199. site is down. BOOO! I wanted to read Wiser’s latest.

  200. Multiple handles of cheap whiskey are heavy and require care when transporting. I think you chose well in getting non-parishable, non-essentials delivered to your door.

  201. Well, we know what he does at work.

  202. Xbrad, that might just be the heat working on you. When it’s oppressively hot here (but still thirty degrees cooler than where you live), my place of business gets ridiculously messy. I’ll walk around setting things right for much of the day when ordinarily I don’t have to.

    Normally, most people who pick up merchandise but decide not to buy, put the product back where they found it.

    When it’s hot out, they just drop it wherever. Heat sucks the will to effort right out of them.

  203. For Leon

  204. LauraW, yep. Most definitely the heat. Caught a break today. I don’t think we got over 108.

  205. My hometown reached 120F in the last week of May. I am so glad I moved out. I have managed to avoid my hometown summer for past 22 years.

  206. We only ever get to about 100 here for record highs. A normal summer heat wave is in the 90s. The humidity is often quite nasty though.

    Today was beautiful, clear, dry, 82 degrees. Spent most of it outdoors playing in the dirt and am so grateful.

  207. Goodnight, bloggies.

  208. I just got out my little derp book
    The minute that you said goodbye
    I thumbed right through my little derp book
    I wasn’t gonna sit and cry

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