Saturday Shakespearean Sonnet

Let’s just get this out of the way right upfront:

40256-Senor-Chang-Community-gay-gif-UyM6

Okay, now that we’ve dispensed with that, on to the poetry:

O, fake internet friends, how they slack off
When the long week’s toil is done and ended.
Whether they do Crossfit or just jack off,
The blog on weekends moulders, unamended.
Exceptions come, sometimes, from our Jimbro
Or if the Puppeh isn’t chasing tail.
But too often we are stuck in limbo
And Friday’s buxom freshness starts to fail.
I know well that all of you have lives
While weekends find me cloistered here at work.
But thirty-some hours on a poat is jive
Yeah, “jive” is weak; you write the next poem, jerk!
So ends my verse, now let comments commence,
And maybe push this down some hours hence.

246 Comments

  1. Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well.
    He was an asshole.

  2. I wonder if Kinsey had any idea of the shit storm he was creating.

    Near as I can tell reading the history, he knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted decadence and destruction of sexual morality.

  3. 2/3 of primary garden is weeded, planted, and watered in.

    1/3 of that left to go, then earth-moving and planting the deck herbs.

  4. *pulls mare’s hair*

  5. Although I’ve never understood the “pull my hair” “hit me” “spank me” deal.

    https://is.gd/RPvp6v

  6. Now I understand Sean’s “poatetry”
    And welcome the Saturday opine.
    A three-day break from rocketry
    Though too early for some wine.

  7. *Presents an award to this poat.*

  8. Good job Douche-J.

  9. That’s Douche-SeanM, CaRin

  10. http://tinyurl.com/ho3s4h6

  11. Why don’t we have a Z?

  12. Because she embezzled and then became a lefty.

  13. Heh

  14. Saturday Morning Poem Poat

    You could not be any leaner

    I do not feel particularly wordy

    Hard to find gifs that rhyme

    Still, SeanM shows some gumption

    I hope his weekend is not scary

     

  15. Hypertrichosis!

  16. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    MJ is a douche
    Your mom is a whore
    Daffodils are yellow
    Your balls are blue
    This poem sucks
    Also, your mom is a whore

  17. Mare’s poem killed it. Bye bye Poaty

  18. Rocketboy’s girlfriend left about half an hour ago. Started a load of laundry, put the library back in order, cleaned up the kitchen. Graduation party to attend at 3:00.

  19. I just saw a guy hitch-hiking.

  20. Bernie voter

  21. Feels like a summer day at the lake. It’s forecast to be cooler Sunday and Monday but I’m hoping any rain will hold off to at least Monday afternoon.

  22. The game wardens stopped by to check fishing licenses. I asked our older boy if he had his license before he went out. He rolled his eyes before saying yes. He just avoided a fine and a talking to from the wardens.

  23. He looked like one.

    It’s 92 degrees and I have to cut the lawn.

  24. Mare! https://is.gd/fgny8X

  25. So, after a week of the girlfriend, what’s the verdict Roamy?

  26. Mid 70s, breezy, and smoky. Fire is 20 miles away and over 2,500 acres.

  27. I spoke too soon. She just called to say her windshield is broken. Mr. RFH is going with Rocketboy to help. My bet is Tuesday before it gets fixed.

    Jimbro, overall she’s nice. They are a funny couple, with Rocketboy being the more outgoing of the two (weird). The library got quiet, so I went to check on them, not sure what I would find. He was playing Pokemon on his laptop, she was leaning against him, doing Sudoku. It was companionable silence. She got along with Mini-me very well, though I think Mini-me is more mature or at least more sure of herself. No more big missteps after the “soldiers are stupid” debacle.

    That said, I view with suspicion anyone who says they are into engineering but doesn’t want a tour of NASA.

  28. Wiserbud on the radio today:

    http://tinyurl.com/bo485lm

  29. Roamy, maybe she’s just not muslim.

  30. It’s beautiful outside, a three day weekend, and there’s a street fair in Old Colorado City. What am I up to? Homework. Blech.

  31. This is so outrageous, I love it!
    It must be driving liberals nuts.

  32. Milo caught a very big wave and is riding it well.

  33. Glad to hear it wasn’t a total cock up Roamy.

  34. We have a little stuffed bunny doorstop that the guy who sold the camp left. I asked the boy to move it and close the door so my cigar smoke wouldn’t invade the house. He did and as he exited said “I just gave the bunny a punt” which made me think of Hotspur’s wish he could cunt punt some politician.

  35. Punt Bunny

  36. Yep, it’s going to be Tuesday before it gets fixed. There goes my weekend.

    CoAlex, the muslim bit made me laugh.

  37. It is overcast and rainy today
    I’ll be cooking out anyway
    Hotdogs and beef kabobs
    Feeding the lazy slobs
    Although Boy2 is helping
    With minimal yelping

  38. Milo caught a very big wave and is riding it well.
    ——————–
    Totally agreed. I’m not sure I could have sat there and remained calm as absolute lunatics took over my stage.

    I think he recognized to deal with fascists was to bait into being fascists.

  39. Estimator just left. New roof, new 8′ sliding door, new gutters, all under my budget for just the roof. OTOH, if I finish the garden today, it’s going to have to be after mass.

  40. Dead poat. Must be the weather.

  41. Not gonna lie about it, 80 degree weather kicks Mainers asses, mine included. We’ve gone from needing sweatshirts and long pants to shorts and t-shirt weather quickly. I’ve got a fan blowing on me while I read my old school kindle.

  42. I just played tug of war with Rowan who was giving a half-hearted effort in the game. Now he’s on the floor panting.

  43. This is our 4th day in a row above 90 degrees.

    Last weekend the heat was on.

  44. Who the hell is responsible for this bullsh–oh, right.

  45. From mid forties to 90 in a week?
    I would have enjoyed a couple of weeks of 60s and 70s.

    Fuck this weather. I blame Al Gore.

  46. just saw triple d on food network, stopped at Mike’s Huli in Hawaii. have mare or oso been there? Huli huli chicken is something I want to try.

  47. Any recipes for country ribs? They’re on sale at the Supermarket.

  48. I’ve had Huli Huli chkn but not at Mike’s. Dan was watching that episode when I told him about Triple D going to Cuba. Babalu is not happy. Me, neither. I H8 Castros and Commies.

  49. Just finished “Behind Japanese Lines: With the OSS in Burma” by Richard Dunlop. Pretty good book.

  50. Found a recipe for huli huli here:

    http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/grilled-huli-huli-chicken

    That, um…other club warehouse store also sells a prepared boneless version that’s not bad.

  51. Jay, Sean’s link is a classic Huli Huli recipe. You can’t go wrong but you should marinate for at least a few hours,

  52. Why do we think we look one way then see a pic of ourselves and think, “WTF?”

  53. Drugs, mare.

  54. Are you saying I should take them to cope with the discrepancy between perception and reality?

  55. Mirrors, pictures of my face and any other depiction of my human form (aka meat suit) are forbidden by my “religion”

  56. Jimbro, I would like a subscription to your religious affiliation newsletter.

  57. I actually have a condition about that!!! It used to be called DBI or Distorted Body Image. It has a new name, now.

  58. I’m suggesting you cut back. I mean, unless you want to keep seeing stuff like this.

  59. Body dismorphic.

    I’m in.

  60. BTW, you might want to keep safe search on when doing an image search for “evil horse” or “demon horse.”

    Human sexuality is…complicated.

  61. I had some stew meat that needed to be cooked, I made a marinade with what I had on hand, and nobody liked the kabobs but me.

    I just clicked about 3 pages deep on amazing ribs, and I’m going to make memphis dust and amazing ribs tomorrow.

    Eat kaboom cereal, luddites.

  62. The best thing about DBI: I have a special mirror that makes me look normal. The worst thing: Cameras.

  63. And also, the whole “Human Pup” thing has made me want to change my internet handle.

    Can I go back to Buffalone?

  64. I’m allergic to one of the ingredients in Memphis Dust. New Lodge Cookbook is out!

  65. I miss Buffalone. I love songs about rain. 🎶

  66. I saw Memphis Dust open for The Chemical Brothers back in ’99.

  67. Sean, demon horse and evil horse is Freudian way of saying you have issues with me.
    Did I say Freudian I meant pork butt to the face.

  68. Mmm…pork butt.

  69. https://is.gd/M0I3kx

  70. Jake from State Farm is and always will be one of my favorite commercials.

  71. Update on my mom: SYWM. Thoracic surgeon told my mom no salt, lower sugar, exercise, lose weight. Dan thought it was his way of not wanting to deal with my mom. Dan told me to be prepared. Mom called today. Opting out of surgery. Not willing to give up her life. Aside. Today would’ve been my Dad’s 75th birthday. I had a lovely chat with my mom. Drinking bourbon. Had to listen to stories about what a difficult 2 year old I was.

  72. Is Leon around? I’m wondering what is THE weight loss winner. Oddly, since I’ve given up drinking my weight has gone wanky. My workout today (for example) was P90X 2 Balance and Power and an additional 2 hours of bike riding at an average 12 miles per hour.

  73. Well, my problems shrink in comparison to Oso’s.

  74. In what sense of “winner”, Mare?

    Amputation, hands down. *rimshot*

  75. Leon, I thought better of you! No, I meant that thing or couple of things that make weight loss a given.

  76. Mare, my problems are my problems. I’m more interested in why your wine withdrawal hasn’t resulted in weight loss like HS char denial. Science! Chardonnay vs Mare Wine? I need SCIENCE!!!

  77. Fasted cardio, keto diet with optimal salt intake (much higher than I used to think), non-starchy vegetables. Look up the Phinney and Volek books, Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Performance is excellent, and raising my salt per their recommendation made a huge difference in my energy level.

  78. Oddly, since I’ve given up drinking my weight has gone wanky.

    It masturbates?

  79. Thank you, Leon.

  80. I have no idea what is going on with the musical number at the beginning here – lesbians and dancing cows? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4POibiGCl24

  81. Whose turn is it to kick Sean’s ass?

  82. Oso, I put Hotspur vs mare low/no Chardonnay weight loss to men vs women (in a totally non competitive way).

  83. Men at any age have a hormonal advantage when it comes to weight loss, and alcohol throws our hormones more into fat-storing mode than it does women. The difference in outcomes isn’t surprising.

  84. IDGAF about weight. I have a face zit just as I’m getting ready to travel. Dan escalated from Mansplaining to Oldsplaining. He thinks <cute.

  85. We are going to have fresh strawberries in a week or so.

    Woot!

  86. Huh, I just realized one of my other all time favorite commercials is from All State, I’ll never, let’s never. Where the guy is predicting things won’t happen and they do and he loves it and it’s all about having a family.

  87. I think my tomato seedlings are a lost cause. I’ll be buying flats this week.

  88. Dan just got a call from Woodmark. MiL refused dinner. Dan texted SiL who lives 3 minutes away…and SiL wasn’t planning on visiting until tomorrow. Dan told staff to do what they needed to do.

  89. Oso, Dan has the right idea. This is why she’s there, so they can deal with the cray cray.

  90. We aren’t even waiting for the Gorton Goodbye. Shit is escalating. I’m almost 53, why do I have a face zit during photo week?

  91. Mare, by accident, we got MiL into the right place. Expensive af but we don’t care.

  92. Huh, I just realized one of my other all time favorite commercials is from All State, I’ll never, let’s never. Where the guy is predicting things won’t happen and they do and he loves it and it’s all about having a family.

    Sorry to keep picking on you, mare, but I have a rather dark interpretation of the end of that commercial. He goes through all the “I’m never ____” stuff, only to have it happen. How does the commercial end? With him cuddling his wife and kids and saying “I’m never letting go.” Followed by the insurance company’s tagline.

    He dies. Prematurely.

  93. BTW today is national hamburger day. Dan is making potstickers and eggrolls. He just tried to get me to lick the Chinese mustard spoon…again. It nearly worked. I H8 Dan

  94. In the movie Allstate, Jake is the killer.

  95. “lick the Chinese mustard spoon”

    LICK THE SPOON !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  96. I never watch commercials anymore. I sometimes hear them on the radio. So what I’m saying is that I have no idea what y’all are talking about, and it’s blissful.

    Also, it’s bedtime.

  97. He just tried to get me to lick the Chinese mustard spoon…again.

    Euphamism?

  98. Scott, I choose to believe my happier version which is him watching his daughter go off to college, now insured under Allstate herself.

  99. Not a euphemism!!! Dan shops at TaLin Asian market. He buys stuff. He makes hot mustard at home. I have made the mistake of licking the spoon several times. OMG. Worse than horseradish.

  100. Also, the commercial mare was talking about is for State Farm. This doesn’t necessarily preclude Jake from being somehow responsible for the guy’s untimely death.

  101. I hate hate hate the commercial for some satellite dish which distorts Starship’s “We Built This City” into “We Built This Thingy”. I cannot hit the mute button fast enough.

  102. They didn’t build that.

  103. Murder?

    Trivago.

  104. Thy break from rocketry continues apace
    Fair roamy, now I must demand
    An answer in this bloggy comment space–
    Is the hour of Bacchus finally at hand?

  105. fakeChad, pregnant lesbians?

  106. Murder?

    Trivago.

    Yup. That guy is a cold-blooded Scandi murder machine.

  107. Bacchus, alas, must nap a bit longer
    For the company doth stay.
    A Diet Dr Pepper for you
    Since you asked about my day.

  108. Poetry is gay. Especially Haiku. Morons.

  109. BTW Roamy is awesome with lyrics. I still love her Forever In Mom Jeans she penned for me

  110. fakeChad, pregnant lesbians?

    IVF maybe – I said I didn’t understand it :-P What can I say I am a simple man, not well versed in the world of the avante-garde artiste (in other words I am a mouth-breathing moron)

  111. Thank you, sweet disciple of Goddard.
    Your verse was the bee’s knees.
    Don’t hate short poems about cherry-blossom trees
    oso–that’s for Philistines and ar-tards.

  112. I am totally chill with not knowing Goddard. Unfortunately, I live in NM. Goddard Rockets. FM

  113. I hate the Bon Jovi turn back time ads.

  114. A cold wind arrives
    The last gasp of Winter’s throes
    Smoker is ready

  115. WTF Alex? You aren’t Haiku Moron vetted.

  116. Oso cannot stop
    Haiku, like a greased gerbil
    it must free itself

  117. Oso H8s Haiku. Serial. Regrets all the years spent at the HQ.

  118. Bunny punts CoAl. Reverts to Marmot

  119. Oso h8s haiku.
    regrets years spent at HQ
    spent reading haiku

  120. I had an old guy sitting at my bar with a bernie shirt on.

    I almost passed out trying to keep it in.

    blerg

  121. I don’t know why I thought Douche-J wrote this post.

    But I was very busy this morning.

  122. Imma gonna go to bed. I got to do this shit again tomorrow.

  123. good to see car in
    I’m glad she didn’t kill guy
    that had Bernie shirt

  124. good night dear car in
    I hope you sleep very well
    long day tomorrow

  125. Haiku is like a
    Geisha’s laugh on a Spring day.
    OH NO, GOJIRA!!!!

  126. Old man in Bernie
    Shirt. The winter of his years
    Stealing from children.

  127. just because this is better than moron poetry – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEWy1HBlCTU

  128. Homework: done. Tomorrow I watch the videos for the other class and take the test, and then I’ll be back to a normal schedule.

  129. Though I ought to be learning I feel like a veteran
    Of “oh I like your poetry but I hate your poems”
    Calendars crumble I’m knee deep in numbers
    I’ve turned twenty one, I’ve twist, I’m derp and wrong again

  130. Coffee, then the other 1/3 of the garden gets weeded and seeded.

  131. Mr. RFH took the kids (including Rocketboy’s girlfriend) with him to play D&D last night. They dragged in at nearly 1 AM and woke me up. I fucking loathe D&D in the first place, and this just takes the cake. Especially not happy at keeping the 14-year-old up (15 today) past midnight.

  132. I fucking loathe D&D in the first place

    *clutches pearls*

    I’m shocked. Genuinely.

  133. Garden time.

  134. Today I pack until the back spasms arrive, then I cook chicken.

  135. Today I pack until the back spasms arrive, then I cook choke chicken.

    That was some tasty fruits.

  136. Worky worky again all day today.

  137. Today I roll cigarettes until I run out of supplies and watch “My Name is Earl” on Netflix.

    Also BBQ ribs.

  138. Today I just hope that dude with the Bernie shirt doesn’t come in again. I’m tired. My resistance shouldn’t be tested again.

  139. And the first guest that comes in and brags about their 4-day weekend gets a punch in the cunt.

  140. I don’t even feel like gardening before work. *cries into coffee

  141. My Name is Earl was on here after the news for a while and I caught a lot of episodes. It was a great show. I liked the voice over at the end of each episode reflecting on karma and what he had learned.

    I’ll be smoking stogies on the back porch and figuring out what to read next on the kindle. Given the number of cigars in my travel humidor I think it will be physically impossible to finish them all without getting sick.

  142. bunny punt

  143. Roamy, can you tell me about the “soldiers are stupid” incident?

  144. hey they wrote a song about you guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLuQ9xA0nJs

  145. Wrapping up prep for the Blade show today and tomorrow. Right now I’m making stuff for a charity auction. Contemplating cleaning my shop, but pretty burned out to start that.

  146. Leon is clutching his first edition of the Monster Manual to his chest and pointing an accusative finger at the poat.

  147. Good luck at the show, Pepe.

    Ribs rubbed.

  148. Thanks, Pups. Main concern is holding onto my sanity going through security at the airport. ;)

  149. Knife shows are exhausting, but fun. You get to hang out with good friends that you only see once a year. I actually get to eat at restaurants!! Plus, if we’re lucky, it’s a payday for a month’s worth of work.

  150. I’m with you on the airport stuff. I’ve been flying regularly for the past 5 years and it still stresses me out, mostly it’s the giving up control of my person and schedule to incompetent morons part.

    TSA is only the first wave, then you have the ticket agents, gate people, other passengers, baggage handlers, shuttle bus drivers, car rental agents…before you can even get to the job which may or may not also entail dealing with incompetence from the people who will pay you, instead of dealing with incompetence of the people you are paying.

    Then you’ve got the other hotel guests to deal with, and the usual local traffic hassles with not being familiar.

    Overall my life is awesome and I’m the luckiest man alive.

  151. I recently flew for the first time in about 8 years. The first night the plane was delayed because of weather. Only then did I remember the same thing happened the last time I flew. We arrived at the hotel around 1 AM and I had a 0730 all day meeting that morning. I may have missed some of it while sampling some of Indiana’s finest craft brew.

  152. I have one more trip for work before I leave. Luckily it’s a quick hop from Colorado Springs to El Paso.

  153. Thanks for the pep talk, Pups! I don’t mind the thought of crashing, it’s the officious little pricks you have to deal with. Last time we flew, they changed our seats at the last minute from the front of the plane to seats on separate rows at the very back. I was not amused. Fortunately Penelope was able to get us moved back near the front. I think she told them I had mental issues…..

  154. Yeah, sorry. I’m sure everything is going to be awesome this trip, Pepe!

    I fly Southwest so I can usually sit where I want…window seat @ row 20.

    Charcoal lit.

  155. https://is.gd/XrFEAq

  156. I fly Southwest so I can usually sit where I want…window seat @ row 20.

    I like Row 7 on the old planes and Row 10 on the new ones – those window seats don’t have windows that get in the way of sleeping.

  157. And, The Boy and I are back. First Impression of Hawaii: Da Fuq is with all this humidity? Seriously, close the door and turn on a fan when you take a shower.
    Second Impression: OMG, these people are actually happy to see my business, but Bungie games must OWN this island, they keep talking about their HALO everywhere, its even on the exit doors. I tried mixing it up a bit by responding “Overwatch” or “World of Warcraft”, but that got me weird looks.
    Third; Every single Chinese national that gets married comes to Hawaii and acts like they own the place.

  158. And I love the fact that Delta is now operating a restaurant in the sky. Had to buy a tiny meal to feed the boy for the five hour flight. Seat back screens were cool and included in price of ticket. Also in price of ticket, a skip in the DVD every 45 seconds OF EVERY FREAKING MOVIE.

  159. Welcome Home Mr. Science!

    I’m glad the trip went well. Mrs. Pupster and I honeymooned on Oahu and Maui and didn’t want to come home when it was over.

    *does the hang loose fist-finger thing*

  160. https://is.gd/QAlGuT

  161. She needs to go lower.

  162. Snatch squat

  163. I sent out 11 paypal invoices today and 7 of them are already paid.

    These are amazing times.

  164. How’s your back?

  165. My back punched out at 3 PM. Gigantic chicken bewbs are on the PBC.

  166. Evening, for lovely Huntsville, AL.

  167. How long will you be staying in AL, xbrad? Seems like you’re spending about two weeks there.

  168. *does the hang loose fist-finger thing*

    Five in the pink, one in the stink?

  169. Mare, I’m going to see Roamy tomorrow, then back to Birmingham in the evening, then relax Tuesday, and depart Wednesday.

  170. Watched a few episodes of Eastbound and Down last night. In addition to being a funny show, it features this song in the opening, which kicks, like, 17 kinds of ass:

    https://youtu.be/V_ONyukSLqA

  171. Ribs turned out pretty good, my grill doesn’t keep a steady temperature so I had to bump up the heat for the last half hour to ensure they were cooked through. Meathead is a genious.

  172. Snake method?

  173. In the last three days I have done two twelve-hour shifts plus one eight-hour shift mostly in the nursery, stocking shrubs and flats of plants all day long. And hoofing it all over the whole place in the sun and heat.

    Is it possible to improve your shape that quickly? Because on night #1 I hobbled around at home in pain like an old woman, night #2 was a little better even after working just as hard all day long, and today I feel fine. And my legs seem to look a little nicer.

    My hands, however, are covered with bruises and cuts.

  174. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were basically crossfit. That may have helped.

  175. Oh, right. Plus I went on long walks in Maine, and did short day hikes several times the previous week.

  176. Five in the pink, one in the stink?

    Err…that’s just weird, Sean

  177. So, question, withdrawn. Apparently I’ve been working out for two weeks solid and didn’t know it.

  178. O’Keefe’s Working Hands, laura. The stuff is amazing.

  179. O’Keefe hangs out by the dumpster.

  180. I have some at home, Sean. But I guess i really need to keep a disc of it in my smock at work. And wear my work gloves more strictly.

  181. O’Keefe hangs out by the dumpster.

    ———

    Hahahaha

  182. Every time I go to Lowe’s or Home Depot, I think of the person helping me as an alternate universe Hostage person and it’s all I can do not to start laughing as they are showing me the Tiki torch fluid.

  183. Wish them a magical day.

  184. I worked in the bakery again. Hairnet, apron, and gloves. I looked like a lunch lady.

  185. Should I do MMM tomorrow or does anyone have something more appropriate to the solemn occasion?

  186. Ask them a bunch of question about caulk, mare.

    “I need a caulk that can handle getting really, really wet–which caulk would you recommend?”

    “Does this caulk come in black? I’ve tried all the other color caulks, but I’ve always been hesitant to try a black caulk. But I think I’m ready.”

    “Is this caulk non-toxic? Because sometimes, if I’ve had a couple glasses of wine before getting down to work, I end up with caulk in my mouth.”

  187. Mare: “Have a magical day!”

    Home Depot employee: “the cameras won’t capture this, so bitch, you can shove your tiki torch fluid up your ass”

    Mare: “have you considered new online friends,? If so, H2 is interested.”

  188. “Will this caulk work outdoors? Because there are lots of times when I’m outdoors at my house and really want some caulk.”

  189. Leon, there should be plenty of pics of military men doing things incredibly motivational.

  190. Yeah, um, I don’t want to look on the internet for pictures of men.

    Yes, I can hear you all laughing from here.

  191. Caulk!

  192. Where has Tushar been? I miss his unique vision of loving America.

  193. Caulk!!!!

  194. “Will this caulk be good for my hose?”

    [scrolls through phone]

    “Damn, where that picture of my hose at?”

  195. I just missed Rosetta….a lot.

  196. Pretend to be Asian and ask them where the cock is.

  197. That’s what O’Keefe does.

  198. Ha!

  199. If I don’t see a poat by the time I am drinking coffee tomorrow, I will do MMM I guess.

  200. Do MMM, and if there’s anything that people want to add, they can add it to the poat.

  201. I’m sorta regretting signing up for this Data Science course. I spent about six hours today working on it, and another six yesterday. I’m going to be traveling for two weeks out of the month, which is going to make finishing the quizzes difficult.

  202. https://www.change.org/p/walt-disney-make-elsa-a-nazi

  203. Where are you taking the class, Alex? I was considering doing some formal coursework in that.

  204. *signs petition*

  205. NERRRRRRRRDS!!!!

  206. I’ve to a crack that has really expanded over the years. Do you have any caulk that fills cracks better than others??

    That’s racist.

  207. Coursera. It’s the Data Scientist specialization.

    https://www.coursera.org/specializations/jhu-data-science

    It’s not bad so far. The first course is an overview of data science and how to set up R and Git for use later in the course track. The two courses I’m taking now are R Programming and Getting and Cleaning Data.

  208. I’ve got R on a few machines and I’m punished with using Git at work, so I’d need to start on the later courses, thanks.

  209. I kid, but Git is absolute shite. It’s an anti-productivity tool. It’s worse than the HR department.

  210. Oooh, I fell off the low carb wagon and had frozen custard for desert. I feel woozy.

  211. That must have been Mrs. Pupster’s “Special” frozen custard.

  212. Leon, I’ve not used it at all yet, so I wouldn’t know. It was developed by the Linux cultists, so I’m not sure that I trust it.

  213. I went to the family cottage today and ate whatever the hell I wanted. I may be sick tomorrow.

  214. Old guy wearing bike shorts was walking through the Club with an obvious boner. As long as he didn’t tug or touch, we can’t call cops.

  215. And now he can walk into the ladies room without you being able to say a damn thing.

  216. Git is the first of the distributed version control systems, Alex. Linus himself wrote most of it, and it’s about as good as the first version of Linux (i.e. user-antagonistic shite understood primarily by the author).

    There are much, much better tools out there now (like Mercurial) but git has a lot of mind share captured at the collegiate level. It can be managed with about 6 additional external tools, but its own syntax lacks any consistent design or internally-coherent logic. You have to know all of it to use any of it. If you don’t know all of it, it punishes you and your coworkers are immediately notified while you try to learn.

  217. I saw Obvious Boner open for Primus back in ’95.

  218. I saw your mom open for many, many obvious boners….

  219. *golf clap*

    Nicely played, sir.

  220. blergy blergy.

    I have to just say, I hate most everyone who eats out on holiday weekends.

  221. so, since i see some geek talk going on – @SwiftOnSecurity over on twitter just posted that given this presidential election we should remove term limits. Of course 90% of the people replying think a 3rd Obama term would be wonderful

  222. Leon, thanks for the heads up.

  223. If you don’t know all of it, it punishes you and your coworkers are immediately notified while you try to learn.

    So Linus is an advocate of the teach by shaming method. Maybe we should put him in charge of the Department of Education.

  224. This presidential election is exactly why we need term limits. No man should ever be considered so important that he cannot be replaced. No position should ever be so powerful that it requires such a man.

  225. The Teach By Shaming Method is how I lost my virginity.

    That and a bottle of Boone’s Farm.

  226. OH i should mention Udacity has a free Git course.

  227. This presidential election is exactly why we need term limits. No man should ever be considered so important that he cannot be replaced. No position should ever be so powerful that it requires such a man

    Well I spoke up for a third Reagan term so I consider myself blameless.

  228. It doesn’t teach, though, it hazes. Which makes any sane man want to burn the whole mothereffer down. I’m stuck with it because the whole team uses it, and of course all the core team are power-users, so I get to be the guy with ~20 years of experience who’s forced to ask a kid how to do something I’ve been doing that entire time with different software. I’m not some doddering old man trying to use the u-scan, I’m a guy who’s used every concurrent versioning system ever developed, and I’m stuck with a program that – as Ace would put it – insists upon itself.

    It has all of the same basic operations, and the same command lexicon, but the words have all been redefined because Linus thought they should mean something slightly different, and he’d just learned graph theory so there’s a hidden graph of nodes that represent all the states of committed and/or pushed code. Nearly every person who’s using git now used subversion or cvs in the past, but there’s no attempt at all to leverage that knowledge, in fact it’s used against you because attempting to use the old words gets you nothing like you intended, even though they are all git commands.

  229. OH i should mention Udacity has a free Git course.

    It’ll be taught by some smug asshole who thinks git is good, and I won’t be able to concentrate because I’ll just want to mattock him in the forehead the whole time.

  230. I think the Founding Founders were right. FSA can’t vote. Senate chosen by State Legislatures. They really understood tyranny. We betrayed them.

  231. It’ll be taught by some smug asshole who thinks git is good, and I won’t be able to concentrate because I’ll just want to mattock him in the forehead the whole time.

    I actually threw that out there for Alex but usually they kind of keep the smugness under wraps

  232. Between Trump and Hillary, a third Obama term is looking better and better.

  233. It would just pretty much be golf. And appearances on teevee shows.

  234. My cousin running for DA is the only candidate with ads. They started the first day of early voting. I’ve been campaigning for him at work. Vendors have said they’ll vote for him. Racist bread guy said he’d vote for him, if I could pronounce Raul’s name correctly. Photo lab worker asked me if he was the guy with the “Pretty eyes”?

  235. Chad, I’ll keep it in mind. We’ll see how the current course pans out first, and by then I’ll be in Cali starting up classes, so I probably won’t be ready for another online class.

  236. Bedtime. Hopefully to dream of a world without git.

  237. Dan and I don’t wear our wedding bands at work…too many safety videos of lost fingers. Met with Woodmark rep the other day after work. She was flirting hard with Dan. Right in front of me. She finally seemed to clue in on something. Asked what our actual relationship was…LOL.

  238. Retail is a tricky place. FYI This is Black Friday for Lowe’s and HD. Christmas is actually slow on that type of retail. I feel for Lauraw. I am ready to kill all the millenials I work with. I will never buy any none 48 items from bakery. I turned them in to APe. It is disgusting what they do.

  239. 48 is the classification for items that get stocked and thaw. I’m chill with it. Wrappers were on their phones, touching said phones to wrapping tables, not sanitizing wrapping surfaces etc. Single mom bitching about childcare will be bye bye

  240. Once again I got screwed out of food. Dan had to deal with MiL shit because SiL couldn’t be bothered. No dinner for me. If I start to make something just for me, Dan gets all butthurt. Oh well…

  241. Watching 13 Hours. Wonder how pissed I’m gonna be in 1.5 hours.

  242. Oso, are you gonna stand at the door and wave to them as they’re led out?

  243. And true derp waits
    In haunted attics
    And true derp lives
    On lollipops and crisps

  244. MMM in 10 min or so.


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