BBF

Hello pranksters, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

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Your model for today lives in Miami but was born in Atlanta, Georgia on January 19th, 1990. She stands 5’2″, weighs 105lbs and measures 34-24-35. Please stop Dan from making it rain long enough to welcome, Miss Valeria Orsini!

 

c3ex32w

414 Comments

  1. She has dead eyes.

  2. Butt dat azz…

  3. Wakey wakey.

    Listening to that Prince concert Andy posted on facedouche

  4. She indeed has a well-formed hiney. Something about her upper deck makes me think it was a more-recent renovation, however.

  5. She indeed has a well-formed hiney. Something about her upper deck makes me think it was a more-recent renovation, however.

    Maybe they were just bring her up to code.

  6. Yuck. Great job.

  7. >>Maybe they were just bring her up to code.

    She does have a heavy enough foundation to support the addition upstairs

  8. Mmmmm, red dress pic works for me. Too bad she looks so vacuous.

  9. Feature, not a bug.

  10. So…..who has big plans for the weekend?

  11. That is a pretty cool red stripper dress. She’ll make someone a fine trophy wife someday.

  12. I’m hoping to finish my big mound and to get the lawn mowed. Might build out the beds for sunflowers and nasturtium. Then we get to steam the carpets so Possum can crawl a little more safely.

  13. She’d look less like a bimbo if she’d stayed a brunette.

  14. Heard back from the recruiter in SB, sounds promising. I’m nervous that this garden effort may be for the benefit of another, or no benefit at all.

    Dear Lord I don’t want to go through another move, but this could be a very good thing for my family.

  15. I have never been comfortable with that blond hair / brown eyebrow look.

  16. Don’t worry. Once they get to know you, they’ll move on.

  17. Good morning everyone. Happy Friday.
    I know it ain’t christian to judge a stranger, but I hate her.

  18. Scott are you comfortable when the carpet doesn’t match the drapes?

  19. MJ, I know this will surprise you, but I have a very good interview/job offer ratio historically. Because I’m personable ‘n’ shit.

  20. MJ, I know this will surprise you, but I have a very good interview/job offer ratio historically. Because I’m personable ‘n’ shit.
    ————————-
    I’m sure you do. I was just pulling your leg, my little weirdo friend.

    How will you be mourning Prince this weekend? Purple golden shower?

  21. I might plant my purple potatoes.

  22. Purple nurples for everyone!

  23. “Because I’m personable n shit”…… when I read this I flashed to a old Al Franken skit where he was looking in the mirror telling himself he was great and …”dog gone it, people like me”.

  24. I give this poat 13 of these thingies: &&&&&&&&&&&&&

  25. Devil in a red dress. Hawt!

    If you like that sort of thing.

  26. I did this for you.
    Jalapeno bacon? Yes, yes indeed.
    Carry on.

  27. I always think of the Office Space scene where the guy about to get laid off is screaming “I’m a people person!”

  28. Yep. It’s just an eyebrow thing.

  29. >> Listening to that Prince concert Andy posted on facedouche

    Outstanding

  30. Made a comment earlier in the week that the only retention tool I have right now is my magnetic personality.

    That got a lot of laughs.

  31. Carin found her bike. It was right where her son left it.

    If you’ve ever been to Carin’s house you would know that nobody stole her bike.

  32. Dear Lord I don’t want to go through another move, but this could be a very good thing for my family.

    IK,R?

    Of course, it *is* Indiana. Never knowing what time it is would drive me insane.

    That, and the fact that unless you’re in Brown County, it’s flat, flat, flat.

  33. If you’ve ever been to Carin’s house you would know that nobody stole her bike.

    Ha haa haaa … true.

    BUt if I hadn’t had strangers coming to my house (to give me estimates) I would have KNOWN from the beginning it was somewhere on the property. I was already kinda weirded out by that.

  34. Looks a little nutty and a lotta slutty.

  35. I’m just glad you found it. You were pretty stressed out about it yesterday.

  36. I was very stressed and upset. Then very happy.

  37. Is “bike” some kind of code for her purple dildo?

  38. My gawd; no wonder she was so distraught.

  39. No, she always knows exactly where her purple dildo is.

    *wink*wink*

  40. No, she always knows exactly where her purple dildo is.

    I’m pretty sure I lent it to someone’s mom.

  41. Speaking of dildos, where is Mare today?

  42. BiW, I’d likely live on the MI side of the border, and Elkhart County is on the same time zone anyhow. Flat only matters to people who grew up near mountains or valleys. Meaningless to me. Beaches of Lake Michigan would only be 30 minutes away.

  43. So is Car in busy this morning burying the body of a strangled chirrun?

  44. Is bike a euphemism?

  45. Composting, Alex.

  46. Yes

  47. Replanting basil/tomato plants. Plus building one of these for herbs:

    http://www.designsponge.com/2011/09/diy-project-recycled-pallet-vertical-garden.html

    Also – want to try this for my toms this year:
    http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/263017-what-do-you-use-as-a-tomato-trellis/

    (scroll down to the arch thing)

  48. A body place RIGHT underneath that … can you imagine?

  49. I wouldn’t use a corpse for the compost pile these days. God only knows what was in ’em and that can’t be good for your produce.

  50. I learned today that Indian cattle was imported into US from 1854 to 1926, and is known as Brahman cattle.

    We Hindus worship the cow, and give cows a status equal to mother (because they give us milk, see?)

    And you bastards eat them.
    Y’all are eating my mom!

  51. And you consumed a mighty fine 16oz. prime rib at TITS1.

  52. Y’all are eating my mom!

    There’s no way in hell I’d put my mouth anywhere near that. At least not for a couple of penicillin shots after fleet week.

  53. Might have even been 20oz.

  54. “If you’ve ever been to Carin’s house you would know that nobody stole her bike.”

    That’s what made it creepy.

  55. Hotspur, and it was delicious.
    I rationalized by thinking: Indian cow is like mother to me. American cow is at best like an aunt.
    But these immigrant Brahman cows have me conflicted

  56. And the first thing everybody thought…. “Which kid borrowed the bike?”

  57. The first episode last night of AMC’s new 6 part mini series, The Night Manager, was terrific. You have been warned. Carry on.

  58. And the first thing everybody thought…. “Which kid borrowed the bike?”

    That was my first thought. But I walked the property and didn’t see it. Then I called/texted the likely suspects. Asked everyone (except Matt, who was busy at work). Who would have thought he’d get home at 8:30 at night and take my bike for a little jaunt?

  59. Flat only matters to people who grew up near mountains or valleys.

    I grew up in Genesee County, and lived there til I was 21, before moving to Battle Creek, then Lansing, and moved here when I was 29.

    I flew back 5 years later for Dad’s funeral, and the first thing I noticed was how FLAT it is. It gave me the willies, actually.

  60. I did not know lclintsp owns a McDonalds

  61. Afternoon Hostages.

    BBF looks like a couple drinks would get you where you wanna go.

  62. Kind of a fun Bill Whittle story.
    It’s long, but good.
    http://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/262551/bill-whittle-goes-lions-den-frontpagemagcom

  63. Hey MJ. Skip to 3:05.

    http://is.gd/4JSYB3

  64. Oh man, that’s hilarious.

  65. She has dead eyes.

    Yep. Like a bricked-in window.

    Very Southern Italian.

    *practices in mirror*

  66. Haha, I saw the Afterburner about that visit, chrisp, but the retelling is fantastic.

    That is exactly what Breitbart (Andrew, not the news organization that unfortunately uses his name) was talking about, with winning the culture wars. Bill gets it.

  67. Just harvested a pint of flower shoots from the kale and the brussels sprouts plants that survived uncovered in the garden over the winter. They look like tiny broccolini: https://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/shoots.jpg

    The brussels sprouts flower shoots taste better than the kale ones. I planted the brussels sprouts seedlings too late in the garden so they never matured last Fall. Now they’re pumping out delicious little shoots. This is going to be a thing I do every year. So nice to have food in the garden so early in the season.

    /gardenblog sorry

  68. Eats, shoots, and leaves.

  69. Very Southern Italian.

    *practices in mirror*

    I thought you were Portuguese?

  70. “Let’s put a baseball team in Hartford!” they said. “It’ll be cool!” they said. “What crime?” they said.

    http://www.wfsb.com/story/31780135/yard-goat-mascot-assaulted-suspects-at-large

  71. And because of course Connecticut…..

    https://www.cga.ct.gov/2016/lcoamd/pdf/2016LCO04585-R00-AMD.PDF

  72. We should make it a hate crime too.

  73. 1/2 and 1/2, CA

  74. We should make it a hate crime too.

    Just imagine the huge sigh of relief that leon just heaved

  75. That really is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.

  76. That really is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.

    And living in CT for as long as we have, that is truly one hell of a statement.

  77. Comment by Car in on April 22, 2016 1:10 pm

    Who would have thought he’d get home at 8:30 at night and take my bike for a little jaunt?
    ======
    Beer, beer thought it was a great idea….

  78. Your governor just cut trillions of millions of dollars from the fake budget.

    Everyone is going to die. Say hi to Rosetta for me. And Prince.

  79. Your governor just cut trillions of millions of dollars from the fake budget.

    He also banned all state business travel to Ireland because they don’t allow abortions there.

    BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

    He would never do that.

  80. Huh. See, when I’m in VA or CA all I can think is “it’s so hilly, why do people live here?”

  81. Los musica classico mejor, sin corta.

  82. Wait, why am I relieved?

  83. Wait, why am I relieved?

    You can safely attend your furry convention when it comes to CT now.

  84. See, when I’m in VA or CA all I can think is “it’s so hilly, why do people live here?”

    I tried to get a customer from North Dakota to come to CT for training. She said she was in CT once and thought it was boring, what with all those hills….

  85. Ja Bronie

  86. You can safely attend your furry convention when it comes to CT now.

    YIFF IN HELL

  87. YIFF IN HELL

    ???

  88. http://tinyurl.com/gnckaft

    Cavil, can you hear the doves cry?

  89. You can safely attend your furry convention when it comes to CT now.

    Maybe he can meet Mika.

  90. >> See, when I’m in VA or CA all I can think is “it’s so hilly, why do people live here?”

    Pilgrim 1: Whew! We finally made it to the New World!

    Pilgrim 2: Yeah, now let’s cut a road through the forest to somewhere flat.

    Pilgrim 1: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

    fin

  91. How many injuns, Andy?

  92. Zero point zero.

    But now that you mention it …

  93. Hep.

    Im going to a pow wow ahora

    See you there.

  94. I’m neither a furry nor a brony, and I’ve seen too much weird shit at gaming cons to go to any more of those.

  95. I’m neither a furry nor a brony, and I’ve seen too much weird shit at gaming cons to go to any more of those.

    Story time!

  96. Nerdy, ugly white people dancing. Fat men in mesh shirts. Fat women in bondage gear leading beta males around on leashes. Kitty ears and raccoon tails on people who have no, no business in them. Furries, hairy men dressed as Sailor Moon, and other horrors my mind has thankfully reduced to mere blurs and flashes.

  97. Wait, those were anime cons.

    Gaming cons – particularly RPGA – is mostly just white guys with glasses and books.

  98. My default state is obe Indian, being brown and all. I aim to raise it to five tonight.

    Rough week.

  99. I meant one Indian, not obe

  100. Oh, and at gaming cons, women who are maybe in the 3-4 range get treated like 8s by desperate, lonely men.

  101. Leon tries out “The Fring”

    http://tinyurl.com/jef47ld

  102. Yeah no.

  103. I might give it a whirl. It’s hypnotic.

  104. All you have to do is pretend to be interested in the fantasy novel that she’s writing.

  105. But it’s about fairies and feelings and junk. And grrrl power.

    or

    But it’s about this chubby but otherwise perfect girl who gets swept away by a pirate king Chris Hemsworth clone.

  106. I keed, I keed.

    It’s really about your mom.

  107. Or gay relationships, for some reason.

  108. Fantasy threesomes, maybe?

  109. No, that’s the weird part. Just dudes.

  110. Maybe they imagine jumping in.

    Or it’s sublimated penis envy and they identify with one of the two dudes.

  111. So, BGE or PBC?

  112. Nah, men imagine jumping in with two women.

    I suspect that insecurity around men, combined with some of boys that these girls interact with on a regular basis. They fantasize about a Chris Evans clone who is incredibly sensitive and emotionally vulnerable, yadda yadda yadda, but they realize that in reality they wouldn’t have a chance, so instead they make him gay so that the girl doesn’t end up comparing herself to a fictional woman that she created.

  113. I’ll buy that, but I still think there’s some penis envy/identification happening.

  114. What do you have now, Leon?

  115. I have a propane grill from Sears.

  116. Greetings, bags of sodomy.

  117. Salutations, Juan Foote Muff

  118. I saw Juan Foote Muff open for Los Straitjackets at the Troubadour back in ’97.

  119. Tough call Leon.

    For me, the first grill needs to be propane just because it’s quicker, can double as a smoker, and works well in crappy weather.

    For the 2nd grill?

    BGE is more versatile , but it costs several hundred dollars more.

    PBC will cook a lot more food per cook, it’s simpler, and it’s portable. BGE can’t be moved without taking it apart,

  120. I had s friend in high school named Mike Duff. Of course we called him Dyke Muff but he looked exactly like the creature from the black lagoon so his handle was Creach.

  121. Lighting the Moron Mutual Support Network emergency beacon here.

    If anyone has a way to contact Captain Whitebread in meadspace, please do so now:

  122. Meatspace.

    My drinking habits are getting in the way of my terminology.

  123. I am not in the group, but mention of Ponca City… that’s OK.

  124. I saw my first obviously gay dot Indian today. I knew they had to exist, I had just never seen one.

  125. Brent just messaged me that he’s send out emails everywhere on this guy, Cavil.

  126. Update from Brent:

    I just got an email. He’s been heard from. He’s ok. Frustrated and all, but went for a drive to clear his head. Which is why he didn’t respond to anyone.

  127. Check out Meathead’s reviews. I think Weber just came out with their own version of the BGE.

    Also, check out the Kamado grill at Lowes. It’s a $300 version of the BGE and it gets great reviews.

  128. What’s the name of the Meat guy WB is going to interview?

  129. Cyn, THX. Saw Bcoch’s update. Love you guys.

  130. He’s interviewing Meathead.

  131. Scott – you talking about wiser interviewing Meathead? Do we have a date for this yet?

  132. Copy. I just stocked Myron Mixon’s new book. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t the WB interview.

  133. His book comes out 5/10, so probably close to that.

  134. That’s practically a b-day present for you. LOL

  135. Laura already ordered it.

  136. Dan is making ribeyes. I want well-done. He’ll shoot for medium well. I’ll eat medium. He is evil.

  137. Thanks Scott. Now I just need a chipper for all the cherry I’ve got laying around.

  138. Ooooh. I did not know this.

    I made some of Meathead’s pastrami not long ago. It was awesome.

  139. heh

  140. I made some of Meathead’s pastrami not long ago.

    Best euphemism evar.

  141. Bonjour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys.

    Andy, are you still involved in the Gun Threads at Aces?

  142. Evening Hostages.

  143. GLAR at Cyn and Andy

  144. Howdy Bcoch!

  145. *waves at oso*

    I need more booze. And maybe to go throw up.

  146. I was behind this guy on the way home from work a few days ago:

    http://is.gd/mROQoU

    On the one hand, I was thinking this was a good idea to advertise support of the 2nd Amendment, and to let law enforcement know in advance is you were pulled over.

    On the other, I thought that advertising the fact that you carry a firearm is fucking stupid and inviting the worst kind of attention from both anti-gun nutjobs and criminals.

    Thoughts?

  147. Oso,
    There’s a place out in the desert, near Phoenix, that serves steak, salad, and cowboy beans.
    If you wear a tie in there, they cut it off and nail it on the wall.
    If you order “well done”, they bring you a boot on a plate…

  148. Pro Tip: Get your throwing up done first; don’t wanna waste good booze.

  149. Dan is making ribeyes. I want well-done. He’ll shoot for medium well. I’ll eat medium. He is evil.

    He loves you and wants you to be happy. We all do. Please, for God’s sake, stop eating leather.

  150. I’ve been there, Chrispy!

  151. You like Salmon, Andy? You have to try his smoked salmon…..and we can get it for about $4-$5 per lb.

  152. I sometimes cook meat to medium. Usually because something delayed me getting back to get it off the heat.

  153. Pro Tip: Get your throwing up done first; don’t wanna waste good booze.

    *looks around*

    Good booze?

  154. Pro Tip: Get your throwing up done first; don’t wanna waste good booze.

    Listen to Cyn. She’s Pre-Med.

  155. Pinnacle peak steak house, ChrisP. My favorite place to get a steak. I go to the one in Tucson every time I’m there. Alas, it’s been close to 10 years, but I’ve been there a few times.

  156. Not a fan of the pink! YWM shut it! LOL

  157. Sean, we are binging some SOA. I really can’t watch Reds games with Dan anymore. He was laughing about Angel Beard Guy taunting me on the Douche.

  158. Colorist!

  159. “On the other, I thought that advertising the fact that you carry a firearm is fucking stupid and inviting the worst kind of attention from both anti-gun nutjobs and criminals.”

    Mostly this.

  160. I’ve never understood the fascination with eating raw meat. And if you cook a steak medium well or even well done and it’s tough, you fucked it up.

  161. >> Thoughts?

    The other hand is right. SYWM

  162. I went to a funny place west of Sedona called The Blazin’ M. It was a sort of Ole’ Tyme Country Vaudeville thing. Everyone sits at picnic tables and the BBQ just keeps rolling in as you watch these throwback performances.

    I loved it. I need to go back.

  163. Haven’t tried the salmon, Scott. Mostly because the Mrs. & daughter don’t like fish.

  164. a blu steak is a good experience. Give it a whirl.

    Choose a good wine.

  165. Pups, I haven’t posted one of those in a while.

  166. Pup, I think it’s dumb to advertise you’re carrying. If you’re pulled over by a cop they usually ask you if you have any weapons and a lot of states have a duty to inform anyway.

    http://concealednation.org/2015/07/do-you-have-a-duty-to-inform-when-carrying-concealed-we-look-at-all-50-states-for-the-answers/

  167. There’s a Pinnacle Peak near where I live. Went there for my birfday 3 or 4 years ago. I guess I had forgotten that they were a chain.

  168. San Tan Flats in PHX is fun. Food is meh, but the music and the ambiance is fun. My Godson loves it there.

  169. I ate at San Tan Flats for the first time last year; not far from me and not sure I’d go again, but it was an in-laws treat, so it was delicious.

  170. They will like this fish.

    Follow his directions and it will be the best salmon you have ever had.

    So simple.

  171. We always road trip with at least one gun. Dan doesn’t believe in bumper stickers of any kind. We’ve lived in NM too long. The same people that make you never use your horn are the reason you don’t advertise your beliefs.

  172. When I showed that picture to some folks at work, nobody understood what it meant. “Carry what?” was the common reaction.

  173. Queen Creek Olive Mill is on my restaurant to-do list. And their olive oils are phenomenal; it’s all I will cook with.

  174. Cyn, we’ve been with family. Autism friendly. We go, because Sean is comfortable there.

  175. Oooh…sounds awesome.

  176. Week-Long-Restaurant-Tour-Meatup-in-Arizona

    WLRTMIA!

  177. “Carry what?”

    Water?

  178. Dan doesn’t believe in bumper stickers of any kind.

    Tell him this is from Angels Beard Guy.

    http://is.gd/PlEfqY

  179. In-fucking-believable.

    Hill just sent me the 10th e-mail in two days. This is on top of 3 phone calls.

    Asking me if was going to play Prince tomorrow.

    GO THE FUCK AWAY, YOU ANNOYING FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!!!!

  180. You talk to the SM yet, Wiser?

  181. To clarify, the first nine were to push me to invite his friend on as a guest.

    Someone he has requested numerous times in the past and whom I have said “no” to every time.

    I may actually throw him off the show live on the air tomorrow

  182. >>>>You talk to the SM yet, Wiser?

    Tuesday.

    Fucker sends me texts and e-mails at all hours, 7 days a week.

  183. *must listen radio*

  184. *opens browser window to radio station now before queue fills*

  185. I may actually throw him off the show live on the air tomorrow

    *sets reminder for wiser’s show*

  186. *sends wiserbub the instructions to “block” emails and texts*

  187. Cereal, though, that sucks, wiserbuns. You’ve been dealing with his nonsense for a long while now it seems.

  188. Fucker sends me texts and e-mails at all hours, 7 days a week.

    Just reply to everything he sends you with the same message. “Mmmmmmmmm. What are you wearing?”

  189. >>>>Just reply to everything he sends you with the same message. “Mmmmmmmmm. What are you wearing?”

    {{{{{{{shudder}}}}}}}}

  190. >>>>*sends wiserbub the instructions to “block” emails and texts*

    I’m going to tell him tomorrow that if he e-mails me more than once a week, I’m blocking him

  191. >>>This one, Scott?

    I will vouch for this recipe. Love it and I’m not a big fan of fish either.

  192. Okay, if you don’t want to go the creepy sexual route–which, yeah, perfectly understandable–use something nonsensical that you would never really say. Something like “WOOT WOOT YAY!!!”

  193. That’s the one.

  194. >>>>Something like “WOOT WOOT YAY!!!”

    The conversation on Tuesday is either he goes or I do.

  195. Sean, he responded in a totes non-gay fist bump way. He thinks it is funny that you smack talk me.

  196. Hi wiser.

    Are you going to play Prince tomorrow?

    Tim Hill asked me to ask you.

    He left 1794,452 messages about it.

  197. I think it’s best with fruit smoke

  198. Cool. I may try a test run of it tomorrow.

  199. Feels bad about asking WB play The Hag last week.

  200. Fruit Smoke? LOLOLOL

  201. You should start your show with Purple Haze.

  202. >>>>Are you going to play Prince tomorrow?

    *mutes

  203. >>>>You should start your show with Purple Haze.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    That is so happening….

  204. “On the other, I thought that advertising the fact that you carry a firearm is fucking stupid and inviting the worst kind of attention from both anti-gun nutjobs and criminals. ”

    the right to life, liberty, and property has been equated with ideations worse than satanic worship….

    yet at the same time satanic worship is ok –

    go figure.

    natural law in the end will trump current social dictates.

    molon labe

  205. We should call in to the station and ask him to play Prince.

  206. We should call the record store and ask if they have Prince on vinyl

  207. That’s what I say too, Jam. Stock in Butthurt America is going to be awful cheep one day soon.

  208. Comment by scott on April 22, 2016 9:56 pm
    You should start your show with Purple Haze.

    This is the greatest suggestion Scott has ever made.

    And I promise that I won’t suggest Prince tomorrow, wiser.

    My take on Prince’s death has…not gone over well with some.

  209. My whole family goes nuts over Scott’s salmon (Meathead’s recipe). It’s so moist and tasty. Smells like bacon. Might be a nice gateway-seafood for your fish-hating daughter.

  210. I am such a freak, we have a Charlie Bar on our patio door and a fire escape ladder under our bedroom window. Our walk in closet has been replaced with a steel door and a dead bolt. Used to have a phone line in there, but we no longer have a land line. There may or may not be guns from point A to point Z.

  211. Laura, her mother programmed that into her. It’s nuts. She’s never really even had enough fish to dislike it.

    I think I can turn her back to the light.

  212. My greatest suggestion? No.

    Although it’s up there with telling your mom to lose the sideburns.

  213. Not going to open with PH, but will work it into the show.

    I have a great idea on how I’m going to do it.

  214. Laura, her mother programmed that into her. It’s nuts. She’s never really even had enough fish to dislike it.
    I think I can turn her back to the light.

    How can anyone not like fried fish? I mean…bread it, drop it in a pot of hot oil, wait a few minutes, and then it’s beautiful and delicious.

  215. Wiser’s taking music requests tomorrow? Wicked!

  216. Although it’s up there with telling your mom to lose the sideburns.

    Hey she worked long and hard to cultivate those!

  217. >>>>We should call the record store and ask if they have Prince on vinyl

    I bet that the people who work at whatever record store you call would find that hilarious.

  218. Tell her its snipe.

  219. Wiser, play Freebird!

  220. I H8 fish. Crustacean. Wild. I like my meat packaged in a real meat dept. SYWM

  221. Hey she worked long and hard to cultivate those!

    The Fu Manchu is a little offsetting, however.

  222. If you’re gonna try, then Meathead’s is the method. It is the bacon of seafood. I never tried it with the sugary glaze, just plain or with a schmear of lemon jelly. Your gal might need the sugary glaze. Do two pieces, one with and one without.

  223. CoAlex…..I can’t believe you’re still alive.

  224. I was very tempted to make a response to her “tricksy pics” comment that would have gotten me killed.

  225. Vinyl is actually coming back. Really hipster. MJ would know.

  226. Don’t ever visit a “real meat dept”.

  227. What kid doesn’t like fish sticks? Am I right, MJ?!

  228. She thought it was hilarious. She sent me a text that was like “Get to the comments, quickly. Apparently I’m your sock puppet.”

  229. *dejectedly stops googling for real meat depts near me*

  230. How can anyone not like fried fish?

    Oh… right…. you’ve never met PJMomma….

  231. I H8 fishsticks. Really surprised I married a Gorton. Still get a little creeped by my last name.

  232. **Leaves a burning bag of TomHill on Wiser’s front steps**

  233. I avoid carnicerias. They have nasty shit on display. Hooves, lengua, and brains to start.

  234. I bet the soup Dan makes is squid based.

    He’ll claim it’s chicken.

  235. **Leaves a burning bag of TomHill on Wiser’s front steps**

    LIB

  236. *dejectedly stops googling for real meat depts near me*

    Oh, you can do it, just make sure you turn on the safe search first.

  237. *dejectedly stops googling for real meat depts near me*

    try “meat markets” instead….

  238. TS & Cyn,
    I and a gang from work were down in PHX for software testing in ’74/’75. Our test time started at midnight, so went to dinner at Pinnacle Peak, then headed back.
    It was raining like a mofo and, not being from around there, did not know about the dropped sections in the highway for flash floods.
    We were heading to PHX at about 70, the roads just looked wet, after all, and drove into 3′ of water that looked just like the wet road.
    It was decelerating!
    We made it through by the grace of God, but our cow-orkers did not.
    We carried-on and left them in the desert to die…

  239. Okay, so “meat markets”! Yay! Um… safe search on or off for that one?

  240. Scott, he bought mussels. I can’t trust the kitchen after 26 years. He usually eats fish/Crustacean on the night that I close. He’s doing whatever he wants and I’m eating PB&Js

  241. <i.Okay, so “meat markets”! Yay! Um… safe search on or off for that one?

    off. trust me. You’ll be fine.

  242. off. trust me. You’ll be fine.

    Yeah, internet search tips from the Hostages. I see no possible way this could go poorly.

  243. Chris, sounds like you missed The Big Flood of ’73. I wasn’t here but I’ve hear tales that it was wicked. Phoenix cut off from the suburbs for days because there were only two bridges in the entire Phoenix area at the time. They built lots more after that.

  244. Oh… right…. you’ve never met PJMomma….

    There’s a fish sticks and Gorton’s fisherman joke in there somewhere…

  245. Hey, I’ve searched for BBF’s and HHD’s with the safe search off. I’m not afraid; I mean really, WCGW?

  246. OHSWEETJESUSFUUUUUUUCK….

  247. ChrisP, my first job out of college in late nineties was with a subsidiary of Citibank in India. They were sellng retail banking software to third world countries, among other things.
    So, a team from my company goes to Indonesia to install software at one of their bigge banks. Standard setup, with a server installation at a central location and a bunch of retail branch software at places throughout the country. In those days, Internet had not reached far and wide, and at the end of day, data from branches would be uploaded to the central server over a phone modem.

    Ofcourse, the phone network was unreliable, and every so often, an employee would copy the data to a floppy, ride his motorcycle to the main office and upload the data.

    So, after a few test installations, we came up with a standard spec sheet of hardware and software needed to operate a standard branch. And sure enough, under hardware, we listed a motorcycle!

  248. I mean really, WCGW?

  249. Virgin Airways is being bought by Alaska Air and they will lose their sense of humor(humour?).
    This is a little slide-show of what their customers see at the gate:
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/virgin-on-the-hilarious-airport-worker-entertains-passengers-wit/

  250. Looks like Laura got hold of that airline status screen.

  251. I ❤️ Thorsday. Especially Vacation Thorsday links. Can’t wait for Chick Ghostbusters.

  252. http://tinyurl.com/hyxr88x

  253. *swoons*
    *removes wiser from “Head To Airport To Kill Now” list

  254. Scott, he bought mussels.

    Almost certainly grown by my friends the Jeffords.

  255. Wiser, you should play some Prince tomorrow.

    Tom Hill probably would appreciate it.

  256. +1 on your “motorcycle as hardware” story, Tushar, lol

  257. It seems Daniel Craig is done with Bond movies and they are looking for the next Bond. Some SJW types are trying to pressure the movie studio to hire Idris Alba. I have nothing against Idris Alba. He is a great actor. And I have no doubt he would do great work. But still, when people think of Bond, deep in their subconcious, they are thinking of a true Englishman who studied at Harrows or Eton and went on to graduate from Oxford. A black man would not be able to carry off that role.

    Those who have met me would attest to the fact that I would make a particularly unconvincing Bond. And Idris wouldn’t fare much better than me. For that matter, I don’t think there are many American white actors who could carry that role. It requires a certain character trait of aloofness and disdain that Americans just can’t muster. You’se folks are too open and friendly.

    Christian Bale might work. Or Hugh Jackman, if he can lose that Aussie accent.

    Sorry for the ramble. I am a Bond fan, and I am five Indians.

  258. SEanM – I see you’ve sent me more pix from your Desert Orgy Meatup; getting them added now.

  259. Maybe Gerard Butler

  260. I have nothing against Idris Alba.

    Except spelling his name correctly.

  261. Tushar,
    Back in those days(Ma Bell still existed), we had leased 9600 Baud lines all over the country. They ran on Western Union copper along all the railroad lines across America.
    If we had a problem with a circuit, anywhere in America, we could call one number, up on Fawcett Street in Tacoma, Washington, and it would be addressed.
    Today, Who knows?…

  262. The thing about Bond, I never liked Simon Templar, Remington Steele, or bat ear boy Blonde Bond. I’m chill with Idris. Have you seen Spy?

  263. Hiddleson would be far better as a Bond villain. And Cumberbatch? I love him, but no! Not as Bond.

  264. I ❤️ Kingsman: Secret Service

  265. I’d be okay with Idris as Bond. The only problem would be the stupid Trumpsters whining about how Bond went all cuck and shit.

  266. Kingsmen

  267. I ❤️ Kingsman: Secret Service

    It’s not that kind of movie……

  268. I’ve been fighting with purists about Mag 7. Don’t care. Denzel

  269. So. Random thing. The wife and girls take a couple weeks each summer and go visit my wife’s family.

    While they’re gone this time, I’m thinking of booking a campsite at one of the many local state parks and camping out for a night. Never done this before. Should be, could be, interesting.

  270. WB I KNOW!!!! ❤️ The Incredibles too. No Capes!

  271. More pix added from Sean to the meatup page: http://wp.me/Pb9T5-dmy (password required)

  272. Bcoch, by yourself? In FL? Pack a gun.

  273. Kingsman movie shows the asshole of a Swedish princess.
    When you do that, you can’t go wrong.

  274. Never done this before. Should be, could be, interesting.

    Gonna miss bcoch.

  275. Camping is overrated.

  276. BerntCock, don’t do it. You won’t like it when a gator or a burmese python poops you out.

  277. Bcoch, by yourself? In FL? Pack a gun.

    *snort*

    I’ve got plenty. And where I live? Ain’t much in the way of crime or mayhem up here.

  278. Camping is overrated.

    Spend a couple of nights in the Georgia woods in a fighting position in the pouring rain… and you learn to appreciate room service and dry sheets.

  279. BerntCock, don’t do it. You won’t like it when a gator or a burmese python poops you out.

    The pythons are further south. But the gators….well…

  280. Sidney Poitier would have made an excellent black Bond. I can’t really think of any really classy dudes like that today. Maybe Denzel could pull it off.

  281. Oscar Issac? Maybe. He is Guatemalan. That might shut up SJW idiots.

  282. Bcoch,
    Had enough “camping” while wearing “Shirt, Mens, cotton sateen, shade, Olive Green 107”.
    If you know what I mean.
    XbradTC knows, as did his father.

    Anita was cleaning out her truck and behind the seat was a box with a socket-set, fire extinguisher, a quart of oil, road-flares, and a shirt, in case she had to get on the ground and did not want to fuck-up her clothes.
    That’s what she found, I think it was issued in 1967…

  283. Lauraw, Idris is pretty cool. I ❤️ Thor. He sez he’s not interested. I prefer him to bat ears blondie that H8s the character.

  284. frankly, Connery and Craig are the only Bonds I like. Roger Moore was a disaster.

  285. There is but one Bond and his name is Connery, Sean Connery.

  286. Camping meat up? We could rent the campsite ahead of time. Works in CO as well.

  287. Connery and Dalton for me.

  288. Camping meat up? We could rent the campsite ahead of time. Works in CO as well.

    Many many moons ago, Cyn and I discussed a FL camping meat up.

  289. M. Night Shyamalan would make a great Bond.

    .
    ..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    A great Bail Bond!

    WHAT A TWIST!!

  290. Connery and Craig have been my favorites and by favorites I mean delectable selections at the meat counter.

  291. Mark Strong? I like him, but too old.

  292. Camping is good for reminding one of how awesome houses are.

  293. I remember that Brent; I also seem to recall you making sure that wherever you do this camping that there be a hotel for me nearby. Must have ice for the Absolut.

  294. I have my camp shower and my camp cot.

  295. The eldest daughter has brought up camping several times. Why, I don’t know. Honestly, I’ve never actually done it. And there are some beautiful campground areas around here. Fort Clinch and Little Talbot Island are within a 15 minutes of me.

  296. There is an ABC within 30 minutes of any FL campsite

  297. The ABC is closer to the campsites than my house.

  298. I believe!!!

  299. The finest campsites attempt to reproduce all the comforts of home, but outdoors, with bugs.

  300. Brb. Looking for ice to eat

  301. BTW, I don’t remember which one (or several) of you Fouchers d’Hose recommended Bosch on Amazon Prime, but thank you. I’m about halfway through season 1.

  302. Checking in for the day!

    True Question From My Students: MrScience, why is it that we have to learn this stuff? (This stuff being chemistry…)

    Answer: No reason. (Holds up a package of Skittles) Say, I have these magic beans to sell you, only $100 a pair and they will cure cancer!

    Students: ….. ((Silence))… Did you just DIS us?

    My Answer: Yes. And without a scientific skepticism you will dissed and cheated by anyone who knows a bit more than you.

  303. If you want to watch a good movie with an absolutely wondful,collection of excellent actors, watch Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy on Netflix.

  304. Xb, I’m sure. I’m still negotiating for the Bosch.

  305. MrScience, can you please change your Avatar? For reasons you wouldn’t understand.

  306. Lauraw, we try to camp in the Spring and the Fall. Fewer bugs. More alpha predators. Win. Win

  307. And Benedict Cumberbatch would make a great bond in the Roger Moore/Pierce Brosnan mold


  308. All us fat, white bearded people look alike to you, don’t we

  309. Seconded

    sorry, man…just please do this

  310. **standing ovation for MrScience**

    One of my proud moments as a parent was the time the Deal Dash ad was on TV, and Rocketboy asked, “What’s the catch?” Thank you, son, the very fact that you’re thinking it sounds too good to be true makes me happy.

  311. Keep it, MrScience. It’s who you are.

  312. Bcoch
    I have camped on wild islands, in hurricanes, kicked raccoons, alligators, rattlers, and other assorted animals out of my tent in Florida from the keys, glades, highlands, and springs to the panhandle. The trick is be cool and grab the end AWAY from the opening and shake. Unless it is a bear it works every time. Don’t even worry about sharks, well… except bulls that arch their back like cats, then worry. A lot.

  313. Also, if you change it to a picture of your ass, we’ll be stuck with that.

  314. *jumps Cyn*

  315. >>All us fat, white bearded people look alike to you, don’t we

    Maybe, but I know you aren’t.

  316. There…

  317. That is/was a pic of me and my son in my car

  318. Wooo Hooo Human Contact!

    *wraps arms around Laura, swaddles her in a blankie, rocks her, and whispers “I love you, George”*

  319. Comment by lauraw on April 22, 2016 11:39 pm

    *jumps Cyn*

    Now we’re talking.

  320. Tush, why the Rodger Moore hate? I loved his tongue in cheek parody of Bond.
    I did not like Craig at first, but he grew on me, he was a worthy successor.

  321. Camping is an affront to our ancestors who did not have the wherewithal to obtain sturdy, permanent shelter. I refuse to do it.

  322. VMax, nothing against Roger Moore, but he was too soft for Bond.

  323. It was a great pic, looked like you two were having a good day. Feel free to change it back – I have Laura all wrapped up *sniggers* and I know a crosswalk that’s a tripping magnet for Tushar ;)

  324. Thanks for the advice Vmax. Snakes are not my friend. If a bear comes wandering through the campsite, well, I guess it’s just that time.

  325. Is… is that green jello in that pool?!

  326. MrScience, deeply appreciated! Nothing against you. Maybe in a few weeks we would be able to accept your nice photo with your kid. But, it is a bit too much right now.

  327. Cyn, that crosswalk can do nothing alone. It needs help from Bacchus himself to trip me up.

  328. I. am. really. stunned.

  329. Bcoch, I deliberately left bears out. They win. I run.

  330. Roger Moore was Simon Templar. Not BOND. Same with Remington Steele. I never accepted them. Not a fan of bat ears blonde guy H8s guns in RL either.

  331. We have plenty of bears here in Florida. Every so often we get the local news showing video of one wandering around somewhere it shouldn’t be.

  332. WTF with the bear H8?

  333. There is a fan theory which posits that there is no actual James Bond–that it’s an identity that various secret agents have assumed over the years. This makes a little sense if you’ve ever thought, “Hey, why the hell doesn’t he call himself ‘Nigel Swantoothe’ or some such thing when he’s on a mission instead of always blabbing his name to the bad guys all the time?” If that’s the case, pretty much anybody could play him. See: Lazenby, George.

  334. There was a black bear that wandered into a suburban house in northern New Jersey and sat at the table eating oatmeal. Park Rangers were called. They allowed the black bear to finish his oatmeal, and he walked away. Black bears are like overgrown cats.

  335. We own all the Bonds/ books and movies. I’m a Sean married to a Roger. His parents weren’t movie people. Or books. My dad brought actual Frog men home. Not Brits. But Frog men. Like Bond. James

  336. Seeing lots of backyard bear video out of NJ.

  337. >>If that’s the case, pretty much anybody could play him.

    Yeah, why not? I nominate Cathy Griffin or Ellen Degeneres to play the next Bond.

  338. Good point Sean, also see Timothy Dalton.

  339. I liked Dalton Bond.

  340. Spy proved that ANYONE could be Bond. Loved Mike M as Q

  341. You guys seriously just asked somebody to change their avatar, his IRL pic, because it looking at his picture was a little bit hard. Wow.

    Please tell me how you’d have handled that if you had met him in person.

    Rosetta would have laughed and laughed and changed his avatard to MrScience’s and had fun with that all night long.

  342. I am trying to figure out what I am more annoyed at:
    A) The fact that I have been a part of this site for more than three years and it was assumed that I didn’t know who Rosetta was
    B) That I didn’t do it myself when Cyn did exactly the same thing a few days ago

    Leaning more toward B…

  343. I second Cyn.

  344. Cyn, you are right. Now kick the offenders in the poon

  345. Cyn, sorry. I should not have done that. When I meet MrScience in real life, I will give him a big hug. Because by then the wounds would have healed a bit, and I am sure in real life he does not look strikingly like Rosie like his avatar does.

  346. Yeah, why not? I nominate Cathy Griffin or Ellen Degeneres to play the next Bond.

    I meant anyone who’s a dude. I’m not a Philistine.

    So…Russel Brand?

    *runs away giggling like a little girl*

  347. Newest guy here. I know who Rosetta is. Mr Science, for whatever my opinion counts, I say use whatever pic you damn well please.

  348. Mundo, there’s no denying how much you look like Rosie, that’s a fact. But you are who you are and that boy in the back seat is cute as a button.

  349. MrScience, I am sorry. I have not been frequenting this joint a lot lately, so I was not sure if you are a regular. I suppose it is a bit late for me to ask about your bullwhip count.

  350. I hear you Tush; the avatar is a little breathtaking for sure.

    Just laugh knowing that Rosetta probably would have taken that avatar for himself, after adding in his mad-phat MS Paint skills to make it look like some sort of boob-head, and we all would be laughing our asses off.

    That’s how I’m trying to remember that big lug.

  351. Kicks Sean in the Jimmy

  352. At this point, Tushar, I think the honorable thing to do would be count his bullwhips manually. *tries to keep a straight face; fails miserably*

  353. Oh please, Sean. If there is any justice in the Universe Russel Brand and Tom Green are in a condo somewhere that smells of patchouli and bad broccoli saying, “We really screwed up, didn’t we? Gorgeous wives, acting gigs, acclaim…and we crapped on it.”

  354. Oh please, Sean. If there is any justice in the Universe Russel Brand and Tom Green are in a condo somewhere that smells of patchouli and bad broccoli saying, “We really screwed up, didn’t we? Gorgeous wives, acting gigs, acclaim…and we crapped on it.”

    So….what you’re saying is that they’re both on a yacht somewhere with big tittied loose moraled women?

  355. smells of patchouli and bad broccoli
    Ha!

    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  356. Tushar I changed my name about a year ago, I was MunDane for a when I joined. I changed my name because I use MrScience on the social media I use. MunDane was taken…

    I’ll find something other than the Neo-Otyugh this week. Maybe one from when I was in the Army. No beard/goatee then

  357. Russell Brandt exudes unintelligence through his vacuous eyes. There is a special type of liberal: they are exceedingly stupid and uninformed, but are widely acclaimed as geniuses simply because they are liberal, and are good at reciting liberal pieties. Russel Brand is the poster child of this special brand of dumb.

  358. The fuck? You are Mundane? The teacher? How are you dude? Sorry, your name change completely threw me off!

  359. I don’t mind your old avatar now. Now that I know you are good old Mundane.

  360. The thing is, there are probably infinite universes out there, so in at least one of them, Russel Brand has been playing James Bond for several years.

    And the movie-going public in that universe looooooooves it.

  361. That’s our Mundo… he’s even got he goat beard in POL

    I’ll update with your new name too.

  362. I dunno…I don;t think anyone thought him a genius. His shtick was tired and done by countless before. Eddie Izzard was funnier in counterculture, Rowan Atkinson was better at slapstick.

  363. Alright, I should probably head off to bed. I’m gonna need my energy when I disappoint and crush the eldest child tomorrow.

    Youngest child is sick. Wife and I basically decided that it’s a really stupid idea to try and drag her out over an hour away for the eldest’s dance competition. Being out for 6+ hours, over an hour from home, when you have a stomach bug is unfair, a recipe for disaster, and really stupid.

    But none of that is gonna matter. All eldest is gonna hear is that daddy won’t be at the competition. *sigh*

  364. Russell Brand likely exudes other stuff as well. An overpowering stench, infectious fluids, booz-laden sweat.

  365. HazMat-up and enjoy the time with your youngest, Bcock.

  366. I guess there will always be a group of perpetual adolescents who get impressed by a comedian using the word “Fuck” in his act, Especially if it is directed at whatever shibboleths the college intellectual has a mad on for currently

  367. We used to go camping when I was a kid. Well, technically, my mom used to lock us outside for long periods of time…….but it was like camping.

  368. Russel Brand has been playing James Bond for several years.

    And the movie-going public in that universe looooooooves it.

    {{shudders}}

    *shifts Shaun up the “Kill Now” list in both universes*

  369. Okay, let’s see if I’m still spam to Wordpuss.

  370. Ah ha. I suspect it is an IP problem when posting from another network I’ve been using this week.

  371. Camping with Boy Scouts: Fun, except when it rained or the time every canoe swamped on the river trip with the 40 mph winds

    Camping with Army: Sucked

    Camping with Fiancee: Those were really fun times.

    Camping with Ex: Did it. Once.

  372. Night Bcochrane

  373. I try to impress people by using “fuck” in my blog comments. I’m edgy.

  374. Camping with ex sounds risky.

  375. So far so good, Orwell; couldn’t have been your IP because the shit-spam-account you created had the same IP as your spammy one (which is why I was thinking it was the blogger linky). Anyway, welcome to not being in the bucket.

  376. “…in at least one of them, Russel Brand has been playing James Bond for several years.”

    That must be the universe where Lost in Space was a beloved gem of science fiction TV.

  377. Huh. So much for my sleuthy guess. We’ll see Monday when I’m back at that same IP hole.

  378. >>>IP hole

    GROSS!

  379. I think I’m out too cool kids; the Axeman has his last regular season game tomorrow, a double-header. In the mid-day sun. Yay.

    Nighty dreams.

  380. A real IPv4 hole.

  381. Bonne nuit, Sin.

  382. Merci; bonsoir, Geo.

  383. Well, she wasn’t my ex at that point…

    I remember two things: I froze and my son slept so hard the night we came back home, he didn’t move all night.

  384. Ah. Makes more sense. Hard to imagine why one would go camping with an ex, unless the judge held court in the woods.

  385. That must be the universe where Lost in Space was a beloved gem of science fiction TV.

    Or is it…a reality show??!

    MIND = BLOWN

  386. I spent most of the summer of 1980 camping in eastern Oregon. And really, it wasn’t too bad. But then again, I was a lot younger.

    You can either camp cheaply and be miserable, or you can camp in a modicum of comfort, but that costs a shitload of money.

  387. Tushard, I’m afraid It’s not going to work out.
    Rog Moore is a great Bond. None of the others would stand a chance with MoonRaker.

    You could use some therapy.

  388. One time I borrowed my dad’s motor home and camped at Pennecamp on Key Largo. Wow so this is how the other halve lives.
    Night sweet sin er Cyn.

  389. halve half have where is my spell check?

  390. My idea of “roughing it” is a Holiday Inn with no room service.

  391. Countdown it’s getting near the flight time
    Night stars are shining in my eyes
    Derp says I’m gonna to be the first one
    To dancing be-bop in the skies

  392. The homeless folks who live under the bridge near my daughters apartment have a tent set up. Seems redundant. Guess it keeps them from getting eaten by stray dogs duro g the night.

  393. The “infinite universes” thing annoys me anymore. It’s a conjecture someone made once, and it’s now a religious belief for scientismists who don’t realize they have a religion.

    Plus it’s like time travel: usually done when the author is out of ideas.

  394. Pendejo, the tent will hold heat down. The bridge just keeps the rain off you, doesn’t help you stay warm.

  395. ww

  396. I have 9-12 blocked for mound building, 12-3 blocked as lawn mowing, then more garden stuff if I still have the energy. I think last year’s mustard is starting to re-grow, and I will have to kill it now if I want it gone.

  397. Multiple universes are used by comic book writers who run out of ideas.

    http://is.gd/hLcxgL

  398. We did a shit ton of camping with the Boy Scouts as a kid. My dad, as scoutmaster, planned a camping trip pretty much 6 times a year in the spring and fall, one winter trip in a cabin and a week at scout camp. In college and med school I mostly camped in shelters in the White Mountains. We now have a “camp” which has a shower, oil burner and a flush toilet.

    I prefer not to remember the “camping” I did with the US Army where I learned what a chigger was.

  399. Wiser should cover this breaking news out of Naugatuck between playing Prince tracks and choking out TH

    http://is.gd/m8svh5

  400. I camped a lot with my family as a kid, we had a pop-up and I had my own tent. It was fun and I have good memories of eating things made in one of these:

  401. This post smells of day old fish sticks.

    Ew.

  402. *goes to Carin’s house, takes bike, stashes it in soccer coach’s yard, phones in anonymous tip*

  403. MJ, aren’t you getting married today?

    You should post about it.

  404. Speaking of camping, someone drove their big-ass RV to the Grease show at the high school last night. I started wondering if they were homeless or just felt like bringing 15 people to the show.

  405. Yard goat time.

  406. MJ, aren’t you getting married today?
    You should post about it.
    ——————-
    Next weekend.

  407. After the orgy.

  408. I laughed at my boss printing out copies of a 22-page Powerpoint file on sustainability and recycling on Earth Day.

  409. New poat


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