Star Wire

What follows is an uncharacteristically wordy post.  It is not necessarily about art.
It has been a week since we learned of the too soon passing of our dear friend.  Much has been said about him and much has been shared regarding our feelings of loss and of joy and of laughter.

And that is good.
Rose is where he started and we are where we are.
We are still us.
We are different.
We are simultaneously diminished and reinforced.
And so, In the spirit of our group I would like to recognize another fellow without whom this salon would not be the same.  A man who in our presence routinely puts his heart on exhibit and has in a forthright fashion invited us to do likewise.
On a morning of utter dispair and heart broken confusion it was by his timely guidance and caring correspondence that I began to feel my blood flow and my breath return after such a trial of profoundly shocking sadness.
He laid bare that tragedy so that we might contemplate a path to healing.
He cares.
On any given evening his earnest effusions of angst and polemic are fiery and to the point; and on each Saturn’s Day his talent and wit are courageously put on display for all to enjoy and criticize.
He is thoughtful.
When I was invited to post here he said to me, “Here’s the keys, Kid.  Go fuckin’ nuts!”  Promptly, upon mine first post, he must have realized that I am an artfag and probably lamented what had become of this Fast-Forward Banglor Political Blogtank of Awesomeness.
At any rate, In a figleaf moment he commented, “Well, do a Georgia O’Keeffe post.”
As it happens, I don’t do requests.
Although, as fate would have it the artist fits in rather well this week in our further unwinding of Modernism in contemporary art and so…
Mr. Wiserpants, this Bud’s for you.
With many thanks and caring.
You are a good friend to us all and we are truly lucky to have you.

Georgia O’Keeffe

b. 1887 Sun Prairie, WI    d.1986

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Described as The Mother of Modernism, O’Keeffe’s entire life was consumed with producing paintings. Indeed, so prolific was she that any collection of her paintings will seem rather eclectic and wide field.

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It has been at times posited that O’Keeffe greatly admired the female form. Many of her landscapes describe women in an inescapable manner.  I chose not to include them here as they make me rather uncomfortable.  So too with many of her flower studies.  I make no apologies.  Look ’em up.

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O’Keeffe’s work was both groundbreaking and full of passion.  Her perspective has had an enormous effect in shaping the modern aesthetic and continues to inspire.

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Georgia O’Keeffe

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New Master


Thanks for Holding It Together, My Broken Hearted Friends.


On and On.


  1. Finally getting my seeds started today for tomatoes, peppers, and onions.

  2. another fine up Chumposter

  3. Wakey wakey.

    Gosh you guys were chatty yesterday.

    Just to be clear, both those people look retarded, are very likely emotionally stunted but not nearly as stunted as that guys dick.

    I did not know who this Plano guy was, nor do I know what this 5% BS is. Crossfit guy wasn’t actually very on target, although I’m sure non-crossfit doers found it very amusing.

    Funniest criticism – is that it doesn’t train you for any sport. Well, since I’m not really training for any sport, I’m good with that. But lots of sports people do train during off season.

    I’m sore a foch today. Too many squats/lunges.

  4. and thanks wiser – this gin and tonic is for you

  5. Leon – I’m replanting my seeds into bigger pots today. I really want to get them a leg-up on the season. Really hoping for some tomatoes this year.

    I have lots of planting to do today. Strawberries arrived yesterday.

  6. hey is that red triangle thing the concept drawing for the dark side record cover?

  7. carin have you tried these strawberry containers – i’m space limited in my back yard, but am thinking about trying something like this out

  8. I have not, but the problem with things like that is that they will die in the winter (unless you bring them inside. I don’t want to have to buy/plant every year.

  9. I think Ms. O’Keefe was a professor at the college I attended. Of course this was forty or so years before I attended. I remember someone saying something about it though. Seems like they also said she got run off for cohabitating with a fellow to who. She wasn’t married. I’ll have to ax my wife. She knows shit like that.

  10. Dear faces that resemble Caitlyn Jenner’s lady parts:

    An open house is not a Druid mystery. It’s a chance for everyone that is coming in from out of town to meet at the house and check it out.

    There’s something like 25 people flying in this weekend.

  11. My wheelbarrow muscles are screaming.

    The first 5 loads were over 200 lbs.

  12. And yes, it’s an orgy.

  13. Back to work. It’s been a week.

  14. Any Druids stopping by?

  15. Chumpo, as always, well done!

    I would also like to give a huge internet hug to Wiser. You’re a sweetie too and make me laugh. I would hate for anything to happen to you and not have told you those things.

    Really, all of you make me laugh. Every one of you. Every one of you is a dear person, who can be so kind and sweet, even that douche, MJ.

    The H2 is comprised of the best of the intertubewebs. For Heavens sake, that’s why I hang out here.

  16. how many hostages got invited to MJ’s open house?

    /just saying

  17. It’s a craig’s list thing.

  18. MJ, are you married yet?

  19. Is anyone going to question us later about it? Because I don’t know NUTHIN.

  20. Craig’s list? Nah, more like backpage

  21. Any Druids stopping by?
    I really hope so.

  22. Mare, no. A week from Saturday.

  23. He get’s fitted for his sleeveless tux tomorrow.

  24. Cripes. I just wrote “sammiches” in an email to the soccer team.
    I need to know when to turn my “hostage voice” off.

    You know, before I call them hosefockers or something.

  25. Really MJ? next saturday?

  26. I invited all of you. Didn’t you get the invitation?

  27. Obviously the open house is this week so he can find enough “Fresh kill” for the ceremony.

  28. No, I did NOT get my invite.

    It’s ok. I hate you anyway.

  29. It would have interfered with my crossfit schedule.

  30. You know, before I call them hosefockers or something.

    Seriously, that would be better than they deserve, judging from prior posts.

    Mornin’ Hostages. I need a vacation, but any “vacation” would just wind up being “work at home instead of the office”.

  31. Good poatse, Mr. Chumpo; a very good poatse for a school bus driver.

  32. Yea. I met with the coach yesterday and said if I/she wasn’t happy with her playtime on Wednesday, then they obviously don’t appreciate her skills and that I had somewhere else she could play.

    I also pointed out that part of my concern was that the varsity coach placed body size over talent level, and that’s a competition that my kids will always lose and thus I worried about what sort of long- term hopes she could have in the next few years. He said that HE didn’t care about size , but noticeably didn’t mention that the varsity coach didn’t feel similarly.

    Another girl Erin has played with for years (and who Erin is better than) got moved up to Varsity.

    I told ERin to wait until tomorrow.

  33. Hosefuckers

  34. Horsefuckers.

  35. Housefarters.

  36. The M stands for Master.

  37. Really MJ? next saturday?
    April 30th.

  38. It’s ok. I hate you anyway.
    Awwww. I’ve always hated you the most! I’ve been pretty absent lately, but we should really talk about all of my injuries and lack of working out at an acceptable level.

    I think I’m getting old. Everything is broken.

    Except that.

  39. Safe for work. No freaky shit.

  40. I think I’m getting old. Everything is broken.

    You should have gotten the extended warranty.

  41. Put deposit down for Hannah’s college. She decided to go where they’re offering her money to pay for a HUUUUGE chunk. Plus – honor’s college.

    Now to decide on her room.

  42. What college?

  43. Is MJ really getting married?

    Does anyone have GND’s phone number?

  44. Hannah’s college. It’s a lesser known school in Metamora.

  45. No idea why Car in is going there, though. Probably cross-fit.

  46. Ghost Ranch has one of the most beautiful vistas in NM.

  47. She’s going to Wayne State Hotspur. They’re offering her an academic scholarship which basically covers almost all of the tuition. Plus – she’s in their honor’s program – which I figure is going to keep her a tad more focused than the general population at one of the bigger schools where she’d mostly learn how to skip classes and use a beer bong.

  48. That’s pretty cool, Carin. Will she be able to live there?

  49. Is MJ really getting married?
    Does anyone have GND’s phone number?
    You know, you always make me laugh. Maybe it’s because I can picture you saying that, from your perch at the ghetto bar.

    Dunno, but it’s funny.

  50. I really wish you two the best.

    We’ll be needing pics, you know.

  51. Of the wedding.



  54. HA HA HA

  55. You know what Wiser will do in response, don’t you, Chumpo?
    Post a mess of Judy Chicago pix.

  56. “You know, before I call them hosefockers or something.”
    You mean they’re not hosefockers?

  57. “Good poatse, Mr. Chumpo; a very good poatse for a school bus driver”
    Especially given it’s such a short bus.

  58. Looks like a vagina.

  59. “Looks like a vagina.”
    How would you know?
    *ducks and runs*

  60. Here’s a few from our engagement photos:

  61. And here I was afraid MJ would post joke pix. What did you name the hot dog?

  62. Shane Diesel.

  63. Yes, Hotspur – she really wants to live on campus.

  64. I knew better, I fucking knew better, and yet I still clicked on the links from MJ.

  65. she’d mostly learn how to skip classes and use a beer bong.

    Valuable life skills.

  66. I liked the matching honeymoon tunics.

  67. MJ – I just got to listen to your DOTW on Wiser’s radio show and I gotta tell ya, I laughed and cried and laughed again until my panties went flying around the room. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful guy. Holy shit – Tears are literally streaming down my facecheeks, howling at the memories of that meatup and your drink in his honor. You fucking rock and I don’t care what GND says about you in her emails to me.

  68. Well, at least he didn’t put up that fucking gif again.

  69. Where is DOTW archived?

  70. Speaking of The Big Lug, I was surfing some of his posts the other day (linky added so you can now see all of them, in the Funny Tab) and came across this masterpiece of hilarity… Good fucking jerb, Puppeh

  71. Well, THIS explains a lot about Carin.

  72. Christ, Cyn, some of us work outside the home.

  73. All Wiser’s shows are in there; for the DOTW, open the most recent (2016/04/16) and scroll on the sound bar to about 1:44:50 or thereabouts)

  74. That gif makes every upholsterer on Earth weep.

  75. How would you know?


  76. Ha ha, I hope you hadnt had breakfast yet ;)

  77. Hahahahaha

    That was great. Well played, MJ, you brilliant sonofabitch.

  78. Umm, it wasn’t a short bus, was it?

  79. Heir No. One is starting to understand the undiluted raw hawtness that is Gwen Cooper, but was pretty sullen this morning, I think because he’s sleeping at the apartment tonight. I had to play “Flawless” twice on the way to school to get a smile out of him.

    Being a hostage is all fun and games until it isn’t voluntary, and the people responsible don’t give a damn what your safe word is.

  80. MJ, do you and GND have a bridal registry? Serious question –

  81. How are you feeling today, TiFW?

  82. I have to ask: Who was the bus driver for the shot of jaeger on a bus?

  83. Heh. The DotW segment was really good, Sluggo.

    *prepares a set of O’keeffe Flower Study Prints.*

    I’ll hook you up with some wall art for your wedding present. I think you love them long time.

    *raises a Copper Haynya*

    Happy Day.

  84. They’re registered at The Leatherworks fetish shop.

  85. The bus driver was a friend of Rosetta’s. He even drove us to the after party!

  86. Show of hands if anyone else read that as “The Leatherworks Fishsticks shop”

  87. The bus driver was a friend of Rosetta’s. He even drove us to the after party!

    New meaning to “driving the drunk bus”

  88. *raises hand*

    I don’t trust that Gorton’s fisherman anymore, dammit.

  89. So, the bus was a Type C school bus, which is considered The Classic school bus. However the Class D is about 12 ft longer and what I would consider a real School Bus.

    So, MJ has a point in that the bus wasnt as long as what s considered a normal school bus but neither was our bus of the “Short Bus” veriety Which really would have been funny but probably too small and wouldnt have been able to hold all the ice chests and dildos.

    Click to access SBTypesPhotos.pdf

  90. When shopping at Leatherworks Fishsticks, be sure to use the Amazon link at H2.

  91. Dotw was awesome. I lov …

    I mean I hate you all.

    So very much.

  92. H2 bus

  93. *clicks Amazon Marketing Rewards Program button next to Orwell’s name*

  94. Ftr I didn’t do a shot o jäger. Next time I will.

    For Rosie. Because I hate him.

  95. That’s what I’m talking about, Bus Driver!

  96. Yeah, Car in was a fun hater. But she wasn’t the only one.

    *looks around judgingly

  97. Screw the bus.

    We need an ice floe again.

  98. Leatherworks Fishsticks? Is that where Kanye West stays?

  99. More MJ and GND pics

  100. I just can’t stand jäger.

  101. I did make it later than many of you that night. Just saying …

  102. J’ames, let’s ask Tushar if that is canonical Kama Sutra.

  103. Jay, I’m feeling just fine – certainly better than last time! Just had a dose of Dildo, so I’m going to take a nap now –

  104. Just had a dose of Dildo,

    Imma just gonna copy that, so in case it gets corrected…

  105. …wouldn’t drink the Rumpleminz, either…

  106. Is it unethical to have fun with people on medication?

  107. MJ, your DOTW segment was fan fricken tastic.

    Well done, my funny friend.

  108. Jeesh – “Dilaudid”.

    Stupid autocorrect –

  109. Glad everything went well Teresa!

    BiW, how did your dinner go the other night?

  110. Whoo boy.

  111. Any word that starts with d, and has another d in it, will always autocorrect to dildo on this blog.

  112. It’s in the TOS.

  113. Jay, I’m feeling just fine – certainly better than last time! Just had a dose of Dildo, so I’m going to take a nap now –


    Holy shit, that’s funny.

  114. My favorite recollection of the bus ride.

  115. *types in H-O-T-S-P-U-R*

  116. Heh, set the tone for the night, didn’t it, HS?

  117. Dildo

  118. How about that!

  119. heh, chumpo

  120. Nobody needs an AR15?

  121. I love that, Jay!

    *High fives Jay* *accidentally knocks the dildo out of his hand*

  122. Dildos and Sodomy Bags… what was the name of this hospital again? I’m asking for a friend *coughmjcough*

  123. So for the record it was actually Hotspur who mis-identified “The Bus Driver”.

    The funny had prieviously been attributed to Michael but it really was Hotstuff.

    Good times.

  124. Is Dildo that pharmaceutical that has tv commercials with a pair of bathtubs on a cliff?

  125. Hahahahaha

    We shook hands, and I introduced myself, and Chumpo goes “I’m Mr. Chumpo.” I don’t think anyone had ever met him.

    I did a double take, and said something like, “Oh Christ, sorry, I thought you were our bus driver.”

    Good times, indeed.

  126. Dont forget the taint pix.

    Like a half a pound of pastrami We are onna roll.

    *drives to deli for a pastrami sand*

  127. Inwas standing w Michael and Rosetta and you walked up and said, Are you the bus driver, and I said “I’m Chumpo”

    Rose and Michael were screaming.
    Good start.

  128. Afterburner: Bernie Sanders and the Politics of Envy

    Hammer, meet Nail.

  129. It totally overshadowed Russ’ shotgunning beers lessons.

  130. “…what was the name of this hospital again?”

    ButtoXXX General.

  131. Loved that Afterburner, Jay!

    *high-fives Jay* *accidentally knocks the tube of Astroglide out of his other hand*

  132. And another one:

    Afterburner: Appropriate this!

  133. You could just hear the gasp, couldn’t you, mare?

    *picks up astroglide and dildo, puts it back in mare’s Amazon wish list where i found it

  134. Inwould like to work with Whittle’s group.

    Just putting it out there.

    Make it happen, Jay.

    *high five knocks The Crying Game DVD out of his hand*

    Good movie
    *eye roll*

  135. I was right there when Hotpsur asked him! LOL.

  136. 20 sammiches made for soccer game.

    What’s up next?

  137. hahaha, Crying Game video.

  138. The project I have been working on had 14″-18″ o rain yesterday. Hydrology is not an exact science, so when I found out today that nothing flooded that wasn’t designed to, I was quite relieved.
    Someone even flew a drone over it.

  139. Your puppy needs some attention

    I denounce myself, loudly.

  140. Damn, that’s a lotta water, Vmax.

  141. Wow, Vman, that area looks beautiful. Was that first part parks? Walking trails? Undeveloped housing area?

  142. God, those shoes Lauraw was wearing…


  143. Congrats VMax, excellent work.

  144. BiW, how did your dinner go the other night?

    It was…interesting. Ethan was awkward…he’s made no secret of how he wants this to end up. She was upset when they left…”This is why I don’t like coming over…because then I have to leave.”, and this lead to a more interesting Sunday, because when I sat down after worship service, she made Ethan move so she could sit next to me…something which hasn’t happened in a long time, and then we all had a really good time together at the Spring Fair.

    I think the best way to describe it is that I’m still married, even though it doesn’t really feel like it.

  145. Vmax, isn’t it nice when a plan comes together?

  146. Thank you for the update, BiW. I’ll pray for your family.

    Shit ton of prayers just for H2 people.

    And any more word on Peel and Wheel’s little guy?

  147. I love it when several conversations are going on at once.

  148. Computer question

    I am accidentally hitting keys that lock my laptop. It freezes completely, nothing works but the power button.

    Windows 10 HP.

    Mid sentence the cursor just stops. CTR ALT DEL does nothing.

    Any idea what I might be hitting?

  149. Is it prugged in?

  150. Jiggle the handle.

  151. It might be your prostate.

  152. That sounds like a firmware issue.

    Update everything

  153. Any idea what I might be hitting?

    The same key on mine that I keep hitting when I type so it takes and saves random screen shots?

  154. BIW – I hope it all works out. :(

  155. Message: I Care.

  156. The first part is a park with a chain of lakes that is supposed to hold the creek that our project discharges into. Slowing the downstream peak and spreading the discharge out over several days. The one road that was under water is an existing one we are replacing. Everything else stayed dry.
    It is a very nice place mare. I hope to build there soon.

  157. Excellent, Vman!

  158. BIW – I hope it all works out.

    Me too.

  159. >>>Windows 10

    This is your problem right here.

    Close up your machine, unprug the cables, and walk outside to find a nice stump. Now, go get some lighter fluid, wait, better yet, get some gasoline and pour it over the laptop and the stump. Now, here’s where it gets a bit tricky: you will need to rig your pellet gun with a wooden match so that it strikes when you pull the trigger… Pffft, what am I even talking about–like you’ve never done this before! Sheesh!

  160. MJ – I just got to listen to your DOTW on Wiser’s radio show and I gotta tell ya, I laughed and cried and laughed again until my panties went flying around the room. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful guy. Holy shit – Tears are literally streaming down my facecheeks, howling at the memories of that meatup and your drink in his honor. You fucking rock and I don’t care what GND says about you in her emails to me.
    Thanks Cinnamon Bear.

  161. where can I find the link to WB show?

  162. Nice poat, bus driver.

  163. ThanX Andy.

    I miss.

  164. It’s upstream there, Sojo.

  165. Here ya goe

  166. What the hell did you VMax, why is there water everywhere in Houston?

    Some design error in a water retaining wall on some project you did?

  167. Hah, Hotspur, Scott came over and asked me to show him which shoes you’re talking about.

  168. I wanna see some shoes.

  169. Thanks!

  170. I know folks in Texas who whined for years about the drought, how they just wanted some raaaaaiiiiin.

    Repaid, with interest.

  171. (That being said, y’all in the flood zones look out for yourselves. And yes, I come off as a prick from time to time, apologies when that happens.)

  172. I just listened to Wiser and MJ talking about Rosie, and the Short Bus Jaeger recipe.

    I shouldn’t do this in office. People were looking at me with concern.

  173. MJ sounds almost normal. That ain’t truth in advertising.

  174. People were looking at me with concern.

    “What’s the matter with you? Haven’t you people ever seen a brown person laugh and cry and laugh before?”

  175. SO glad Wiser changed the H2 button. Love the new one. THANKS!!!!

  176. MJ sounds almost normal. That ain’t truth in advertising.

    MJ has a face for radio.

    I KID …lol

  177. This is an unaltered photo

  178. Boomer is a confident cat.

  179. Car in at :59

  180. and at 1:37

  181. oh, and Mare at 2:00

  182. Brutal. Can’t watch it.

  183. MJ sounds almost normal.

    We compress his voice.

    Thanks for the kind words, Chumpo.

  184. you’re welcome

    Thanks for taking care of our hearts.

  185. VMAX when all that water finally gets to the gulf it’s gonna cause the oceans to rise and then you’ll be right back where you started. Obama lied to me. The oceans were sposta stop rising in 08. That settles it……I’m voting for Trump. Or maybe Bernie.

  186. My neighbors have a Georgia O’Keefe print hanging over their dining room table. The first time I saw it, I was…. stunned, to say the least.

    “You seriously eat dinner under… that?”

    the wife: “Sure, why not? What’s wrong with it?”

    me: “Well, there’s nothing .. wrong with it, but you can’t see what that looks like?”

    the wife: “Yeah, it’s flowers.”

    Me (turning to the husband): You see what I’m talking about, right?”

    the husband (with a grin): “Oh yeah.. always have.”

    the wife: “Seriously, what are you talking about? It’s just flowers.”

    me: “Okay. Actually, I like those kind of flowers. What are they called?”

    I can’t find it on-line, but I will get a picture of it someday and post it.

    It really can’t be anymore obvious.

  187. It can’t.

    She’s got some buttes and valleys that are real doosies. Or dontsies as the case may be.

    Too hot in the hot sun I suppose.

  188. The ones where heavy weights fall on people make me cringe.

    The best ones are where they hang somewhere and bring down the roof.

  189. Ex SiL had an O’Keefe Flowergina print over their livingroom fireplace. Stacks of coffee table O’Keefe art books. Nambe accents everywhere. Looked like Santa Fe vomited in her house.

  190. O’Keefe did a lot of close-up portraits….of some little guy in a boat

  191. You could credibly claim that her flower paintings were actually rather nautical.

  192. You’d think she was the one who attended Bever College

  193. The Georgia O’Keefe Museum in Santa Fe is worth going to at least once.

  194. O’Keefe did a lot of close-up portraits….of some little guy in a boat

    That’s a canoe

  195. I need to put some freaking art on my walls. I have decided to get some paintings printed on aluminum sheets from

    I want ‘Dogs playing poker’, but wife says no. Her taste in art is quite primitive. She prefers some no-name Europeans called Renoir, Vermeer, and some freak named Van Go.

  196. This painting does NOT make me think about sex.

  197. There’s Goldbond in them thar hills

  198. You cant spell Parts with out A-R-T

  199. You can’t spell Farts without a-r-t either

  200. You can’t spell tranny with out A-R-T. And that’s a key bit of info.

  201. Good Evening Godless Sodomites!

    It’s raining a bit here, so my outside chores are out.

    Pregaming a little for the epic St. Louis-Chicago showdown tonight.

    We have Cards vs. Cubs and Blues vs. Blackhawks on at the same time.

    Cars/Cubs may be rained out, so at least we have the Blues game.

  202. That has been a good series

  203. Tush,

    Have you proposed the rare and classy ‘Velvet Elvis’?

  204. I would never do any of those stupid things Bart.

  205. My mom has a latch hook Virgen de Guadalupe.

  206. Phat, a lifesize portrait of this guy is more my style.

    Not sure if wife will like it.

  207. HAHAHA!

    I just ate!

  208. What is the male equivalent of camel toe?

  209. Squirrels in a bag

  210. What was the moose knuckle pic that used to get linked at the HQ?

  211. $3200 to power wash/restain our deck.

    whatta deal.

  212. Hevos Scruncheros

  213. In my defense, I had to borrow a jumpsuit from the guy cos-playing ‘Hawaii Elvis’.
    Mistakes were made,

  214. Someone knock me upside my head.

    I’ve had a very productive day, although I haven’t gardened at all and my workout was paltry.

    I listed some stuff on craigslist – one of which is my dad’s old tractor. Hasn’t run in 7 years or so. So, it’s FREE (but it’s a big named tractor).

    The. Phone. Won’t. Stop.

    someone make it stop.

    *curls up and rocks in corner

  215. *cries …

    it just started ringing again.

  216. Carin, you can rent a power washer for $30-40
    Or buy an electric one for about $125
    Or a gas powered one for $350-400

    The staining, once it is power washed: some handyman will do it for a couple of hundred.

    Supplies: $150 top.

    $3200 is highway robbery

  217. Seriously, wtf is wrong with me?



  218. Robbie’s brother kicks ass

  219. 9 calls in an hour and half. Throw in the texts and emails.

    honestly, kill me now.

  220. It’s a big deck. But 3200?

    i have another guy who is giving me an estimate as well.

    The problem is people see our house and figure they can rape us.

  221. remove the listing now, I suggest

  222. Craigslist ad: will swap tractor (not running) for pressure washing/stain of deck.

  223. That’s the first correct thing you’ve said all day Bart.

  224. You suggest that NOW jimbro.


  225. Car in has a huge deck.

  226. Who’s got the jager bottle? I’m ready for a swigg.

    I just got an email asking me to look at the motor size.



    I posted a cute picture of it and everything, with the chickens climbing all over it (they were following me around)

    OH, here’s a funny story. So, I’m outside trying to figure out something to do with these pallets (I’m doing a vertical garden for my herbs), which my arms crossed, and a freakin chicken flew up and perched herself right at home on my arms.

    crazy chicken.

  227. Kid run

  228. >>Car in has a huge deck.

    Are we talking front deck or rear deck?

  229. It’s a dirty deck

  230. >>it’s a dirty deck

    With some old stains

  231. Yeah, that deck is the size of some good-sized hotel restaurant decks.

    Carin; I forget; don’t you have a couple of children wandering around the place who need to learn a new skill or two?

  232. Dave should call her and ask about the tractor.

  233. Mr. Chumpo, you might be interested to learn that Palm Springs Air Museum has, not one, but two artists in residence.

  234. Time for my daily check in…you know being a morose bastard has its upside. I was one of a dozen teachers in my school district to NOT have a non-specific threat posted about them on Ogle. They only pointed out how fat I was.

    Over and over again

  235. Lauraw, I still want two prints from the New Britain Museum collection. (I want, but don’t need or have a space to hang)

  236. We are going back there soon.

    Dali exhibit.

  237. Hey Mundo/Sci-guy – that non-threat thing – we can fix that for ya.

  238. Good fucking jerb, Puppeh

    Pretty much my favoritiested gif for Rosetta.

    Along with this one:

  239. “Rosetta Picks the Strip Club” ^

  240. Scott, I just saw that!!! I was visiting my Dusk and Seal Rock at their site.

  241. *cries harder and harder

  242. Yea , for $3200 I can learn. Shit I can take two weeks off from work and do it.

  243. Yeah, I bet they do. Those compositions of planes in flight are a beutiful thing.

    ositter, whats the name of that painter that you and Laura like. The one with the ocean/waves

  244. Bierstadt was Seal Rock. Parrish was Dusk.

  245. Aso desu

  246. I have Disney prints, Wyland Disney prints, Ansel Adams, Hawaiian Pics in Sepia tones, and an Uncle John Aspen painting. Vintage Albuquerque pics.

  247. >>>“Rosetta Picks the Strip Club” ^

  248. Thanks, Cyn, but I will pass. One of the threats was made to a teacher at another school had the lugs loosened on her tires. She was parked next to someone who noticed they were loose before she got into her car.

  249. Ha.

    Ive been to that Stripclub.

  250. My sister lost it with my mom this wknd. Long story short, my mom called to apologize for not realizing that we were still grieving for my dad, and she never respected that. I was gracious and accepted the apology. (I know! I was surprised at my maturity as well!)

  251. Does the mini meet in the Palm Desert have an anagram yet?

  252. Hmmmmmmmm

  253. You have to see Dusk in person, Oso. Small painting. It glows, somehow. I don’t know how he created that effect with just paint.

  254. Dont

  255. Love it when they glow

  256. Planes

  257. Desert

  258. There you have it.

    Do they have bev serv at the cafe?

  259. Lauraw, we saw it in Santa Fe. Traveling collection while NB was undergoing renovations. Seal Rock and Dusk kept us enthralled. Dan is a philistine and he spent 30+ minutes with Dusk.

  260. Ive been to that Stripclub.

    Ain’t we all.

  261. The glow from the window. The shades of blue. I love that painting.

  262. No booze, sorry.

  263. The shade of green in the wave in Seal Rock is my favorite color. The lighted part.

  264. Oh, that reminds me, I’m out for the Orgy In The Desert. Sorry guys.

  265. I would drive to Boise off and on when the mountains would get to me.
    The Joint was actually called The Blau Max. ID is a special place.

  266. Beer?

  267. I saw MrScience’s avatar and skipped a beat.

  268. Nope. Just soft drinks. There’s a bar nearby, and I suppose I can fill up my flask.

  269. Rocky Mountain Bierstadt. I just love Seal Rock.

  270. No worries.

  271. What’s the bar called?

  272. I forget.

  273. That’s a good name

  274. Mr Chumpo, everyone has a different taste in art. While choosing some pieces for my home, I am getting attracted to some photos by an artist called Ursula Abresch. Look her up.

  275. I am a simple guy who likes a jumble of colors without any special meaning.

  276. When is the next big meat up?

  277. Than you may enjoy Mondrian et al. They are known as De Stil. They are among my very favorites.

  278. Early part of my life was spent at Maritime museums. Love the Clippers. Winslow Homer. Seascapes.

  279. Chumpo, Mondrian is a bit too geometric and well structured. I want my paintings/photo prints to look like a the results of a bukkake at a clown convention.

    I also like large prints of astronomical objects like nebulas and galaxies.

  280. Tush that would be awesome. Hubble pics! I bet there’s an app for that.

  281. “nebulas”

  282. Eliot Porter color photography. Check him out

  283. Well, it’s out there buddy.

    I get great prints from shutterfly and other online printers.

    It’s an incredible age.

  284. There should be a meetup this summer.

  285. I saw MrScience’s avatar and skipped a beat.

    IKR! Exactly what I thought. Look at the POL pic, too.

  286. Second

  287. *ears perk up at the sound of “meatup”*

  288. If we had one at Car in’s, we could probably finish the deck in an afternoon.

  289. What the Chumpo said. Interwebs can take pics and put it on canvas so it looks like a painting. There’s a Stitch cel I like that can be made to look like an oil painting.

  290. Dave will be in charge of power washing.

  291. Campsite?

  292. I want to coodinate the stripping

  293. Late summer is a great idea.

  294. Not too late, Laura goes back to school in late summer.

  295. I need a long lead time. Stoopid retail

  296. Early summer with a Tigers homestand?

  297. Whatever it takes. Right, babe?

  298. We could try to recreate the Officer Paul night here, but the odds of that happening are slim to none.

  299. Carin should retire from waiting tables and start a deck washing/staining bidness.

  300. Where’s Puppy?

    Pup. Get yer ball!!

  301. Why didn’t you people tell me about the SOA soundtrack?

  302. >>If we had one at Car in’s, we could probably finish the deck in an afternoon.

    My electric power washer will fit neatly in a suitcase.

  303. Oso, they also print on a aluminium sheet. Looks incredible and extremely durable.

  304. Giclee prints are something I have heard people rave about. Never saw any myself.

  305. Blah blah toured Memory Care facilities by us. Not as engaged as where MiL is. She is on the list for next level Memory Care. I had a bad sugar/anemia day. Past it. I can’t wait until my life comes back normal, no drama.

  306. I will be in California in August, if we wanted to do a West Coast Meatup.

  307. Tush, they are pretty awesome. Anything is better than a blank wall.

  308. August in Cali? Dates?

  309. Greetings, handbangers.

    Late summer in Michigan?

    *packs chaps and bail money*

  310. Yeah, and it’s right on a great lake, too!

  311. Is this weird?

    I watch people eat on youtube.

  312. Very nice Chump and agreed. As for the cross fit video….was the screaming midget lady serious?

  313. Bart, yes, we’ll wait, what are they eating?

  314. I can make it to Carin’s with Possum and the Mrs. No way I can make it to Cali.

  315. It depends, Bart. Is $29.99 per month discretely charged to you credit card for this service?

  316. Hotspur could have an “open house”, although his deck is probably tiny.

  317. St Louis would be a good spot too.

  318. My dad wanted his cremains taken out to sea. Navy says that it is still a service they provide. On their .mil. Just try arranging it. Long story short: still in bros closet. (mantle, but closet is funnier. South Park’d)

  319. StL is a nice central location.

  320. >>>St Louis would be a good spot too.

    Sigh. Wish I’d have made it or any other meatspace events. For all you alleged people know, I’m just a spambot shitty at selling things that abandoned you for about four years.

  321. My TAS friends are planning a Fall 2017 NOLA reunion. Dan has never been to NOLA.

  322. Go to the next one. It changes everything.

  323. Love NOLA. Great food!

  324. Ersatz paella for dinner tonight.

    The boys are having tacos.

  325. There’s never a bad meatup.

  326. I was picking a couple of things up at Target today when I passed the bathroom section and decided I would check and, lo and behold, they had the Squatty Potty in stock. Remembering leon’s admonishment that we were “pooping wrong. WRONG!” I decided to pick one up.

    Now, I’ve only had it for a few hours, but I can report that I have not yet pooped any ice cream. Either I have to start eating a lot more ice cream, or the people who make this thing are charlatans.

  327. I’d love to do it in STL, like a big fucking wake, and in the center of the country.

    There should be a poll. *sniggers*

  328. Southwest Airlines may get to Walmart status for me before too long. Their service just keeps getting shittier.

  329. I like watching “eating challenges” on youtube…until I realize I’m watching people eat on my computer.

  330. >>>Go to the next one. It changes everything

    I’ll bet. Nobody will think I’m 6’3″ and have hair, anymore.

  331. >>>There should be a poll.

    I’ll dance first.

  332. Sean, are you eliminating more readily with it than you did without it?

  333. PG, I’m ready to pay for luggage. Southwest is FUBARed

  334. Yeah, I need to deliver a dildo to St Louis…….and pour some Yager

  335. GET A ROOM with your potty talk!

  336. >>> I decided to pick one up.

    Did you also happen to pick up some plastic fruit?

    I ask because both my grandmas had soft-cushioned toilet seats that we kids found to be funny. And a bowl of plastic fruit.

  337. I could do a group rate thingy for the hotel, and maybe the airlines too.

  338. Heh, “eliminating.” Makes it sound so much more badass.

    Time to go…ELIMINATE.

  339. Beasn isn’t around. We could put her in charge.

  340. >>>Heh, “eliminating.” Makes it sound so much more badass.

    Much better than bowel movement.

    “Sorry, is that in your way? I’ll put it over here.”

  341. I’ll Be Back.

  342. Yeah Bart, that’s weird!!

  343. Yeah, because defecate is so déclassé

  344. Euphemisms aren’t all bad.

  345. I defecate better with an unrestricted duodenum.

  346. Yep – I reached out to Beasn and Phat to make this happen. Phat is some kind of RainMan when it comes to bars and restaurants.

    We ate at Edgewild a few times and would make a great location for Saturday night. I think it would be fun to revisit the place where the lesbian waitress got fired because of us (sortof) or Llywelyn’s Pub (this had the Brick Wall and birthed The Cover Theory).

  347. Leon, I got the squatty potty last year. The trouble is, when using it, very little surface area of your ass is touching the seat, increasing the pressure on the ass bones. It fucking hurts.

    We were not meant to use modern toilets, and we were not meant to use squatty potty either.

    This is how it was supposed to be:

  348. By calling it a cheat day it implies the guy eats healthy most of the time. I only watched the 2 dozen donuts going down and there was still most of the video to go. How the hell would anyone who didn’t eat tons of shit food all the time be able to tolerate that amount and type of food without the urge to eliminate it from their bodies?

  349. Tonight I’m watching youtube videos of people who live in vans or bigger RV’s. I never knew “van dwelling” was a thing.

  350. “Voiding”. Never got that one.

    It sounds like you’re putting a stop payment on your check.

  351. If you’re shitting from your duodenum you’re a medical miracle.

  352. >>It sounds like you’re putting a stop payment on your check.

    Bt actually is making a deposit.

  353. Tushar, you must be assless. I notice a little less contact, but it’s tolerable. The SP is my compromise, I’d rather squat over a hole, but that’s not practical. It also just about cured the wife’s constipation issues, so I’m happy with mine.

  354. If you had a van you would understand.

  355. >>>How the hell would anyone who didn’t eat tons of shit food all the time be able to tolerate that amount and type of food without the urge to eliminate it from their bodies?

    The kid is an animal. He does eating competitions. Used to be a meth addict. Now his hobby is youtubing his eating/gym adventures. Bought a camera drone and makes some pretty well edited videos.

  356. Jimbro, I know, it’s just a funny-sounding butt part.

    “Rectum” is too overused. Especially your mom’s.

  357. Shit Blog™

  358. If I had a van it wouldn’t have windows.


  359. Forget the squatty potty. If someone invented a 6″ porcelain riser for toilets, it’d be a good seller. EZ On-EZ Off, you’d call it.

  360. >>>Shit Blog™

    Want to buy some jeans?

  361. Shit Blog™

    Compos started it.

    Wanna talk about exercise and gardening?

  362. Rectum v. Uranus Discuss.

  363. Sounds like the Squatty Potty ain’t loyal.

  364. What you need is a sodomy bag.

  365. Uranus has bigger rings around it.

  366. >>>What you need is a sodomy bag.

    Duct tape.
    Cable ties.

  367. Squatty Potty wasn’t the first name they thought of. The prototype was Shitty Fitty.

  368. Scott – will Laura have school stuff in the summer?

  369. Sodomy Bag Solutions™

  370. Nope. Not until the 3rd week of August.

  371. Comment by leoncaruthers on April 19, 2016 9:15 pm
    Tushar, you must be assless. I notice a little less contact, but it’s tolerable. The SP is my compromise, I’d rather squat over a hole, but that’s not practical. It also just about cured the wife’s constipation issues, so I’m happy with mine.


    In this country you shouldn’t need a SP. If you eat correctly you shouldn’t be constipated therefore not need one.

  372. >>Tushar, you must be assless.

    You have obviously not met me. Hostages don’t regularly shorten my name to ‘Tush’ for nothing.

  373. And she’s done when?

  374. Lay off the cheese, people.

  375. Sounds like mare knows this one weird trick to avoid constipation

  376. Except for right after having children, I have NEVER had constipation. Eat some fricken salad.

  377. 3rd week of May, give or take.

  378. Blasphemer!

  379. Or give up opioids. I never understood reading in bathrooms. Adjust your diet.

  380. I know Herr is real – what would a spambot do with a baby blanket? (Still can’t believe she’s 5.)

  381. Forget constipation, I’m grossed out by Kasich. His stupid face, his stupid thoughts, everything.

  382. Neither can I Roamy. But she reads, writes, and talks back. She must be…

    She’s an ornery one.

  383. What got me to the van dwelling videos was the luxury RV videos. These, to me, are Harley Davidsons or boats — nice to look at but I don’t want one.

    This one is $500K — the interior tour starts @ 2:30

  384. Here mare. Have a prune and go enjoy a good Kasich.

    I for one would love to see him elected President just to get him out of my state. What a slimeball.

  385. Thank you, Miss Wine.

  386. I really get tired of the parking lot RVs. Carryover from Mr Sam.

  387. Or give up opioids.


  388. Mare, not everyone is blessed with good gut flora. The Mrs has had trouble doing #2 for most of her life regardless of diet. The SP is the first thing that’s made a real difference.

  389. Kasich…Couric Couric ….Kasich

  390. That hotel in STL where the school bus parked… that was a pretty nice parking lot…

  391. Comment by MJ on April 19, 2016 7:49 pm

    When is the next big meat up?

    Your wedding.

    Oops. Wait. that was supposed to be a surprise, wasn’t it?

    My bad.

  392. for no apparent reason:

  393. Everyone is always invited to/to plan a meetup at my house. I have the room. It’s not the most exciting place but we don’t need to pay the inflated price of food/booze.

    And I think I’ve got the deck done for $1500. WOOT. So Tushar doesn’t have to pack his power washer.

  394. Plus – hotel rooms are on the cheaper side up here.

  395. We’re all boycotting anti-Rosetta NC ANYWAY!!!

  396. The ultimate plan would be to get a beach house or something.

  397. I’ve been constipated twice in my life. Both times were several days after surgery. Pain meds shut the system down. It’s a good thing they give TiFW a shitbag.

    Wait….three times. The other time was after a month of the Atkins diet. If you eat nothing but protein for a month, you’ll have some turds that seriously don’t want to leave the premises.

  398. Oh Damn – the bar where the lesbian worked is closed.

  399. OR could you imagine us all together on one of those political cruise things?

  400. Beach house, lake house, Condo in Payson

  401. Wait….three times. The other time was after a month of the Atkins diet. If you eat nothing but protein for a month, you’ll have some turds that seriously don’t want to leave the premises.

    The trick is to make sure you’re getting plenty of fat. Keeps everything moving.

  402. Turd is a highly underrated word:

  403. Hostage wedding gifts – go

    His and her rubber fists.

  404. Party in Payson – I’ve got three extra bedrooms, plenty of hotels nearby, and we buy booze and party at my place.

  405. In soviet H2, the horse judges YOU

  406. The trick is to make sure you’re getting plenty of fat.

    Your mom.

  407. A subscription to Hustler

  408. Party in Payson – I’ve got three extra bedrooms, plenty of hotels nearby, and we buy booze and party at my place.

    It is a nice place, except for all those scratching noises from the crawlspace.

  409. except for all those scratching noises from the crawlspace.

    Is Cyn dating?

  410. Hush, now CarIn!

    The downside to Payson would be the two hours trip to/from PHX

  411. Married Kama Sutra

  412. Rim liquors!!!

  413. Burgers and beer in Heber!!!

  414. I have a history of anemia. YMMV.

  415. Hostage wedding gifts – go

    Rim liquors

  416. Bert/Ernie masks for roll playing.

  417. Hostage wedding gifts – go

    A gym membership for GND.

  418. A strap-on.

  419. Leon, you could probably smuggle a squat toilet over the border.

  420. Hostage wedding gifts – go

    A pit barrel cooker.

  421. Or I could dig a hole in the yard.

  422. Hostage wedding gifts – go
    A squatty potty.

  423. Dig a hole in the front yard. That way the neighbors can see you squatting every morning with a cigar and a newspaper.

  424. I gotta get to bed, up too late already.

  425. Dominatrix leather clothes, bullwhip and strapon for GND.
    Ball-gag, choke collar and merkin for MJ.

  426. Cover playlist from WB that proves his brick wall theory. Andy playlist with awesome music.

  427. Payson.
    Lets get Western

  428. PAT GREEN!

  429. G’night guys. Still fighting the good fight. Dan is needy right now. I have to be rock solid.

  430. Wedding gift? an iPod preloaded with all of obamas sleeches.

    If it’s good Enuf for the bloody queen it’s good enuf for MJ.

  431. A Goe game

  432. Sleeches? How the fuck did autocorrect not kick the shit outa that?

  433. Jebus, does Gas-X or Beano work on dogs?


  434. What’s the name of Smoker dude that Coronabud is interviewing?

  435. They arnt real speaches.
    They are slimey worthless sleetches.

    I get upset when Inthink about how I’ve completely avoided this POS’s sleetches for the last seven years. Thats a long time not to have looked at the CinC.

  436. Nighty dreams, Osocrazybear

  437. G’night Cynabuns.

  438. Meathead, from AmazingRibs.

  439. You wanta know what I learned today?

    Today I learned that Donald Trump is a man of exceptional integrity and ethics.

    He is such a paragon of integrity that he refuses to buy delegates. Not like that low-life cheater he’s running against..

    Oh no, The Donald, the business genius who’s entire success is based on paying off politicians (unsurprisingly mostly Democrat politicians) simply will not stoop so low as to use that exact same method to influence the delegates needed to help close the biggest deal of his life.

    Isn’t that incredible? Isn’t that admirable?

    Isn’t that the biggest pile of bullshit you’ve ever heard?

    This was exactly what the Trump supporter I work tried to lay on me today. That nasty, evil, corrupt. lying Ted is buying his delegates and Trump refuses to play that game.

  440. Dominatrix leather clothes, bullwhip and strapon for GND.

    We already got those things at TITS1.

  441. Dang, the swag bags at meatups sure took an interesting turn.

  442. Coronabud, did you tell him that you’re too busy never forgetting 7-11?

  443. Love my TiTS2 Muddler. And bronchitis.

  444. This time for real going to bed. Have to fall asleep before the snoring and night terrors. That’s just the dog!

  445. Full up Humvees run somewhere around a quarter million bucks a pop.

  446. I also attended a choral concert in which wiserson performed at school.

    The theme of the second half of the concert?

    Despair, the loss of hope, the inability to find even the slightest glimmer of light as your soul is being engulfed by darkness, followed by the need to step away from your grief and anxiety if you find yourself in that place and listening to the quiet river in the wilderness.

    He came out to the lobby to say hi to me after the concert. Asked me what I thought.

    I’m thinking my choking up and being unable to speak for a few minutes made for a decent enough review, don’t you?

  447. Wile E. Coyote Donald J. Trump – super genius

  448. That sounds like it was bittersweet with your son playing, wiserbuns. And yeah, good review.

  449. Dang, the swag bags at meatups sure took an interesting turn.

    It’s fun to go all out, non?

  450. Coronabud, did you tell him that you’re too busy never forgetting 7-11?

    I have been trying to avoid any of these conversations since last Tuesday, because I have almost no patience and I am aware that my fuse is extreeeeeeemely short right about now.

    He started it with making some idiotic joke about Cruz buying 100 cans of soup for his wife after they got married.

    I said “Well, you may think that’s weird, but I’m sure he had a very good reason and Heidi probably found it charming for reasons known only to them. But what I think is even weirder is that a hard-core New Yorker though and through who wants the fine people of NY to know that he eats, sleeps and breaths NY and was deeply, personally affected when the Twin Towers fell can’t remember the date it happened, like pretty much every other even semi-intelligent person in this country can.”

    Him: “Wow, man, you really need to stop taking this stuff so seriously. It was just a joke..”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s kind of the problem here. his entire fucking campaign is a joke and all we’re talking about is mindless bullshit. And you think what he’s done to the process is great. So yeah, I’m not finding this funny anymore.”

    That’s when he started walking away, while making his comment about Trump not wanting to buy his delegates, like that crooked, inside-the-beltway establishment guy Cruz is doing. Luckily for him, a customer walked in at that moment.

  451. Hostage wedding gifts – go


  452. That’s good, W. Im glad to hear that his group affected you.
    Singing does it to me as well. i was in a choral group when I was 13-15. I really enjoyed that.
    We toured Ca.
    I got out of it when I took a job.

    Fork in the Road.

    That was the name of the restaurant where I got a job. Fork in the Road
    The served Possum and Crow and Raccoon
    Simple fare from a Simpler Time.

    I still have the long handled spatchula.

  453. That sounds like it was bittersweet with your son playing, wiserbuns.

    yeah, thinking how much I enjoy watching him perform made me even sadder when I knew that Henry will eventually be doing stuff like this and Rosetta will not be there to watch his son and feel the pride that I feel for my son.

    Or be able to see the happiness in his son’s face that my son got tonight when I told him how proud I am of him.

    Let’s just say it’s been a tough day all the way around.

  454. May the tough days lessen for us all, amen.

  455. Amen

  456. Gentle as the tide.

  457. One of my best friends from the Academy just got his second star!

    Baffles me. he’s a great guy.

  458. Usually it’s the dicks who make General.

  459. Oh, look, I just made the O-9 list.

  460. Looking at jobs in San Diego. One wants my transcripts and an example of my academic writing. SMDH…


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