Sunday Cake

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450 Comments

  1. http://is.gd/nice_to_see_Barts_back

  2. Hahahahaha, Pupster. One of the other imgur posts was @XplodingUnicorn, “I accidentally dripped mustard on my newborn daughter’s forehead and long story short a nurse just walked in and saw me lick the baby.”

  3. Bwahahaha, the softball coach thinks we’re still volunteering at tomorrow’s game.

  4. That’s a lot of whipped cream.

  5. The “cake for a baby to smash” thing is just disgusting, and I’ve never seen it end in anything but tears and an immediate bath. Not doing it.

  6. My parents had that Herb Alpert record.

    Oh the hours I spent holding that up with one hand.

  7. Mom: “Why is this album always out?”

  8. Uh, I really like that Tijuana Taxi song mom

  9. Dad: “Is our son going to be an anthropologist? He’s very interested in Mexican folk music and indigenous cultures in National Geographic.”

  10. Both my kids had fun with the 1st birthday cake. Yeah, they needed a bath afterwards but no tears.

  11. Tears and messy children. All I’ve seen. Plus I just find it icky.

    ICKY!

  12. https://roamingfirehydrant.wordpress.com/2016/04/17/1st-birthday-pics/

    My dear friend, children are an exercise in icky. Pee, poop, vomit, snot, dear-god-what’s-that-no-don’t-tell-me-just-hand-me-a-baby-wipe, etc. It takes a while for them to not get food in their hair or ears. You have to let them feed themselves or they’ll get some kidn of eating disorder,

  13. I have a question: my kids love the song ‘who let the dogs out’
    As far as they are concerned, it is a hilarious song about some dogs escaping and running around. They and I can’t comprehend most of the lyrics anyway.
    SJWs tell me it is an offensive song about ugly women. Even if they are right, my kids don’t know about that. They think of it as a song about a flea infested mongrel called Ruffie.

    Should I let them listen to it?

  14. If it makes your kids laugh then yes. I’ve never heard that about the song but so what? No PC ever!

  15. I’d post Rocketboy’s 1st birthday pics, but I’d have to scan them, and I’m too lazy to do that today.

    Helpful hint – don’t let them reach for the lit candle.

  16. Thanks Dave.

    Next question: how about ‘What what, in the butt’?

    I suppose that one is a no.

  17. Yeah let’s not get crazy here

    Age appropriate and all. Hug those boys for me ok? I miss you

  18. >>>Helpful hint – don’t let them reach for the lit candle.

    Not that you can actually stop them, from what I’ve seen.

    My oldest is 16 today.

    Get off my lawn.

  19. Dave, my boys will be 9 in Sept. Damn, time flies.

  20. Pee, poop, snot, I get that, I’ve dealt with all; baby made those, they happen. It’s frosting that I don’t get.

  21. 9?! 9?!

    NFW. Wowsers I feel old. Fantastic, Tushman!

  22. Holy carp. NINE? Wow.

    Your car insurance is going to jack up like you wouldn’t believe in 7 years

    Herr, happy happy birthday to your eldest. Mine turned 30 on Thursday. Yeeesh

  23. Thanks, Dave. And I just recently discussed said 16th birthday with my insurance agent as well.

    Then she got a job.

  24. Pee, poop, snot, I get that, I’ve dealt with all; baby made those, they happen. It’s frosting that I don’t get.
    ————————————
    I just don’t get you, man. WTF? Frosting is awesome. It’s sugar and fat. SUGAR and FAT.

    Yes, my little weirdo friend, I understand it’s not good for you. I get that it’ll probably turn your insides to mush or it’s not able to be chemically processed in your gut or you’ll die or some such nonsense.

    But it’s sugar and fat. Mixed together. For your pleasure.

  25. It’ll be everything they eat for a while. They explore how things squish between their fingers. Somewhere I have a pic of Mini-me imitating the look on my face, because she got more food on her than in her.

  26. Oh good for her.

    I remember when eldest started working at Starbucks at 16. I had no idea she could get up at 4 in the morning and go to work.

  27. Yeah, she has learned the value of greed.

    Actually, the hardest working of the little people I am forced by law to feed.

  28. Made me proud. I am sure it does that to you too dad

  29. There’s peas in her hair. Better than frosting?
    https://roamingfirehydrant.wordpress.com/2016/04/17/another-messy-baby-pic/

    Should have fixed the redeye, sorry.

  30. “I’m here to chew bubble gum and to hurt people’s ears….and I’m all out of bubble gum”

    Me at my first worship team practice in about an hour and twenty minutes.

  31. But I have this strange urge to listen to mexican style horn music this morning. Odd, that.

  32. You should take a handful of pennies and hand them out

    no reason

  33. Weirder still than the oldest being 16 is Sophie entering kindergarten next year.

    Funny story. The boy will be in 6th grade next year, but told the principal he’ll be going to the local STEM school. The principal actually called me and tried to do a sales job to keep him in public schools. (Follow the $$). I told him “Pass. Thanks anyway”. He wouldn’t let up, so I promptly informed him he wouldn’t be getting my youngest either, in a Passive-aggressive “Stickitinandbreakitoff” kind of way. He still won’t stop….. Called me again Friday…..

  34. You people are sick. Frosting is icky. I’d rather just give her ice cream. It will be July, after all.

  35. Windows opened,

  36. Roamy, your messy baby is looking like post-meatup hostages.
    Filled with nostalgia, food, booze and regret.

  37. Dave, I remember your anxiety about shipping off the daughter to college. Could have been the younger one.

  38. Herr, it is cool to have a good age gap between oldest and youngest kids. The older ones help care for the young-uns.

    My kid brother is 8 years younger than me. I used to take care of him a lot.

  39. Driving off was the first anxiety with both. College with both later.

    Roamy, remember when your babies wanted to kiss you with that glazed donut snot face?

  40. I saw Glazed Donut Snot Face open for Foot Wide Muff in ’87.

  41. Foot wide muff?

    Jesus, who comes up with phrases like that?

  42. Grandma had 7 kids on Dad’s side. I think the spread between eldest and youngest was 15 years.

  43. Leon, my mom has 8 siblings, so total 9. The eldest sister’s kid is actually older than the youngest brother!

  44. But it’s sugar and fat. Mixed together. For your pleasure.

    This.

    wakey wakey

    (early morning soccer match for me – but I’m home again to begin a day in the yard)

  45. BiW, hope dinner went well last night.

    Roamy, remember when your babies wanted to kiss you with that glazed donut snot face?

    My kids’ favorite thing to do was hug me and use my shirt as a Kleenex at the same time. Faceprints. I screwed up big time and wore a white sweater to Thanksgiving dinner.

  46. Tears and messy children. All I’ve seen.

    That’s why you strip them down to just a diaper and let them have fun. It’s basically what you are going to do anyway when they are learning to feed themselves. Until those motor skills are finely tuned, meal times will be quite messy.

  47. wakey wakey

    Oh bout time you showed up.

  48. Mini- me and her cupcake…..DAWWWWW! So cute!

    And yeah, late to the game, but what she said.

  49. >>>wakey wakey

    *gives Car in a big sloppy French kiss after eating sardines in hot sauce and not chewing thoroughly*

  50. Helpful hint – don’t let them reach for the lit candle.

    I bet he didn’t do that again.

  51. Of all the body fluids, their snot gave me the willies.

    A girlfriend of mine would wipe her kid’s noses with her fingers and wipe it on her pants leg. Turned my knees to jelly.

  52. Those dognuts seem pretty expensive.

  53. Oh bout time you showed up.

    I’ve been busy. And I’m about to get busy again. That yard ain’t gonna clean itself.

    House cleaned somewhat. Quick check-in then I head outside.

  54. They were purebred dogs. And the vet had a kid in college.

  55. Softball season has begun and after a marathon game in which a combined 35 runs were score, my team emerged victorious. My going 5-5 at the plate helped a lot.

    One of the younger players, however, needs to learn the limitations of the older guys. For example, you do not send wiserbud from second to home on short hit to left field.

    Right after I got tagged out, I calmly turned to him and said “we need to have a chat.”

  56. HAHAHAHA

    I love that. Had the same chat ten years ago when I was done sacrificing my body for softball

  57. It’s raining outside, and Granny is using Rebecca’s playroom as her temporary hotel room. Guess we’ll be spending the day watching what Rebecca wants to watch on TV….

  58. We’re having another hunger strike. I suspect tooth #3 is the problem.

  59. Hahahahahahah,hhabahahahagshHahhahahahHahah

    Baby Licker!!! Out in 15 w good behavior!!!

  60. I bet she’d eat frosting

  61. Leon planning a babys Birfday Study Session

    http://tinyurl.com/zw52ync

  62. Comment by scott on April 17, 2016 8:45 am

    No such thing as a man shawl.

    http://is.gd/O8zzCM

    Are you gonna tell him?

  63. Good morning, Sunshines.

  64. The weather outside is glorious. I made the mistake of going to the Depot to pick up some lock washers and nuts (not $2.25 Mini Dognuts). Felt like everyone in Penobscot County was there.

    One trip.

  65. Last week it was 16 degrees, with a negative 10000 wind chill and overcast/hailing/snowing.

    Today is 75, sunny, and basically too hot to work outside.

    This is your Michigan moment for today.

  66. This cold, or whatever it is, is killing me. Off to Urgent Care. What annoys me most is that I decided to treat myself yesterday to a prime filet mignon and nice cab because I’m a bachelor this week. Could hardly taste either.

  67. I’ve got SO much to do outside, it’s just a bit overwhelming

    And yes – I am one of those people who like to do EVERYTHING, so this is a bit difficult for me. It’s hard to say “Just do X” – because then I feel like a failure and just wanna say ‘eff it.

  68. http://is.gd/V2L7vR

  69. Sorry Paulitics that you’ve apparently caught TITSebola w/o even attending.

    Consider it your “welcome back” gift.

  70. Jim, she won’t even eat solids yet. Closest we’ve gotten is catching her gnawing on cardboard.

  71. So, in continuing the Erin/soccer saga – she went to a tournament yesterday and got MVP.

  72. But, let’s not move her up. [too small]

  73. That’s more of a poncho or serape. Looks itchy.

  74. How’s that work? Do you mix a little mush into the milk? That’s an actual question. Paula’s kids were older when they moved in and, other than getting the little one to eat something besides nuggets and fries, I haven’t been privy to the food progression sequence. And, no, it wasn’t taught in med school or during my 6 week peds rotation.

  75. Those dognuts seem pretty expensive.

    http://is.gd/liaEZg

  76. (Shhh Oso, trying to defend my manliness)

  77. Jim, she won’t even eat solids yet. Closest we’ve gotten is catching her gnawing on cardboard.

    http://is.gd/wwoPCm

  78. I like cake. Good poatse, Puppy.

  79. I think Trump is going to make it.

    He’s leading in CA. If that holds up, and he takes NY, he only needs to win about half of what is left.

    Boooooooooooooooo

    * puts on man dress *

    * storms off *

  80. Jim, she won’t even eat solids yet. Closest we’ve gotten is catching her gnawing on cardboard.

    My kids weren’t really into sampling any solid foods until they were 9 months old. Table legs and paper came first.

  81. He’s leading in CA. If that holds up, and he takes NY, he only needs to win about half of what is left.

    HTF does this happen? Every conservative/tea party person has been working hard to get a constitutional conservative in there to roll back big government and we wind up with a big-mouthed big government, friend of Hillary, orange POS.

  82. We’ve gotten her to eat small amounts of boiled carrot and sweet potato by mashing with a little breast milk.

  83. I have to do plumbing

    I hate plumbing

  84. http://is.gd/NT9i3z

  85. >>>I have to do plumbing

    Put me down for “Three Trips”

  86. Pink Floyd sucks Floyd’s balls.

    That is all.

  87. I used to hate it, until the guy at True Value shamed me into doing some. I think that is when the dish washer went in. I was looking for a saddle valve so I wouldn’t have to mess with the pipes.

    He said “no, you are going to pull your skirt up and do it right.”

    So I did and the fear went away.

  88. I hate plumbing

    It’s what I’m planning to do as a backup career.

  89. >>>We’ve gotten her to eat small amounts of boiled carrot and sweet potato by mashing with a little breast milk.

    It takes a little while. Pour on the rice cereal. Gets their guts moving. And, yeah, 9 months was about the time all of mine got their solids on.

  90. I dont mind plumbing so much. It’s electrical I hate screwing with. I get askeert Imma burn something down.

  91. Three Trips

  92. The thing I hate about electricity is it’s invisible and it can kill you.

    Other than that,,,

  93. Strike’s over, but she was at almost 8 hours fasted. She doesn’t even do that at night.

  94. “My kid brother is 8 years younger than me. I used to take care of him a lot.”

    My little brother is six years younger – i took care of him with a baseball bat one time.

    He had a knot over his eye that was horrifying. Caught him with the back swing – never knew he was there. Knocked him out cold.

    i don’t think he ever forgave me

  95. the food progression sequence.

    Rice cereal with breast milk, introduce one veggie or fruit at a time (I have allergies), no eggs (allergies) or honey (botulism) until at least a year old. No nuts or fish until 2 years old. Plain Cheerios and soft table food diced small when they are ready to feed themselves. Rocketboy started eating solid food at 6 months because he stopped sleeping through the night.

  96. I still have headaches.

  97. Trump is up in CA 49 – 31

  98. Dave, my wife didn’t send you the same list i got – did she?

    i’m off to lowes to pick up a couple of fittings to plumb in a new stall shower. I finished grouting last night.

  99. I have to be productive today, but I don’t wanna.

    Gym
    Home Depot
    clean the garage (melted snow ruined a couple of cardboard boxes of stuff)
    Russian Homework
    Mass

  100. SJWs tell me it is an offensive song about ugly women. Even if they are right, my kids don’t know about that

    Way to ruin the song for me…I had no idea

  101. Well I’m not grouting. New shower head and time to clean out the sink p drains

  102. I wish I could be productive today.

    *glares at Possum*

    She can’t even walk yet. Useless for yard work.

  103. You can clean the traps with nature, microbes that chomp on organic material while you sleep.

  104. You can clean the traps with nature, microbes that chomp on organic material while you sleep.

    How do I do this? Squirrels?

  105. oooh microbes…those aren’t squirrels at all…not even close

  106. Way to ruin the song for me…I had no idea

    http://is.gd/08Uuv4

  107. Oh I’m still gonna sing it, I just had noooo idea. I honestly just pictured someone opening a gate and all these dogs ran out.

  108. Yay, eyeball’s back! Hi PJ!

  109. hangovers suck. Saw The Jungle Book and Zootopia. it’s been an animal type weekend.

  110. Yay, eyeball’s back! Hi PJ!

    Yeah, that thing was bothering even me haha

  111. That makes sense Roamy. I had heard about the honey thing before because i read package labels. They probably also taught that in our ID class on the botulism section.

    We had a whole family admitted years ago with botulism from canned spaghetti sauce with meat in it.

  112. Holy Carp, that’s two days in a row I was able to sleep in!

  113. it’s been an animal type weekend.

    http://is.gd/9RAO5X

  114. Never take little kids to the zoo in the springtime

  115. Kind of like leaving the internet unlocked, Dave?

  116. I took my college aged daughters…….actually they took me, I didn’t really want to go but got outvoted, to the San diego zoo a couple of years ago. They were super hyped to see the pandas. I’m pretty sure that when it was all over they were more impressed by the size of the zebra penises. I know I was.

  117. Trump is up in CA 49 – 31

    Thanks for giving me a stomachache.

    Peej, WTF is wrong with CA?

  118. Zebra penises.

  119. Husband took me to the zoo for my 50th. First time in like 20 years. St. Louis Zoo is a very nice zoo and most of it is ‘free’ (residents of St. Louis and parts of St. Louis county pay via their property taxes).

    My main purpose was to see the elephants. Husband has a picture of me standing in front of elephant butts, from that day, on his desk. Went again last year with beasnette — for the elephants — and gorillas. They have one called ‘Joe’. Heh.

  120. Pandas are boring. We could replace them with animatronics and no one would notice.

  121. Never leave Tittyweb Jenkins unlocked or not on safe search

  122. Safe search isn’t so safe. I’ve searched for HHD fodder and got the full monty.

  123. We’d have never realized the H2-ness of the Argentine Lake Duck if safe search was on. FUCK SALT SAFE

  124. Every window in the house open. Fresh air is awesome.

  125. Who farted? you or the Scottish chick?

  126. >>>>We had a whole family admitted years ago with botulism from canned spaghetti sauce with meat in it.

    I hear that’s what got Freddy Mercury too.

    Bad meat in the can

  127. I was reading some of Rosetta’s comments on the old BBF’s and getting a little weepy; came back here to see…

    I hear that’s what got Freddy Mercury too.

    Bad meat in the can

    HAHAHA! Excellent timing, wiserbuns.

    Man, I love all you faggots.

  128. The Scottish chick has her annual business meeting for the co-op this afternoon and evening.

    She isn’t very happy.

  129. Bad meat in the can is hilarious

    Nicely done wiser!

  130. Last time I had bad meat in the can, I spent the night with your mom.

  131. Jajaja I love you guys

  132. Baby got a 1 hour nap, I got a 30 minute nap because the wife started texting me. It’s like she knows.

  133. I made the mistake of letting NetFlix recommend “The Pyramid Code” earlier. Ben Carson’s beliefs about them are completely sensible compared to that flimflammery.

  134. Note to self, rule regarding web searches on unfamiliar topics at the HQ extends to H2.

  135. White Wine Elliot Spritzer.

  136. Syrian Jaeger Bomb

  137. Bloody Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio

  138. Scotch Egg and Soda

  139. Pyramids = “subtle” energy collectors.

    Also they totes had helicopters and submarines.

  140. Slippery and Slide Nipple

  141. Scotch Egg and Soda

    Bad cocktail, nice lunch.

  142. Ratcheting Screwdriver

  143. Tequila Sunstroke

  144. What are we talking about?

  145. Sex on Your Mom

  146. Comment by SoWhat on April 17, 2016 2:37 pm
    ………….. it’s been an animal type weekend.

    =================

    Totally different vibe when XBrad says this.

  147. Zoos are depressing. Hate to see all the animals locked up.

  148. OT went to put on my shoes. I always turn them upside down and bang them. ALWAYS. Yep…spider shoe. Not a widder.

  149. Comment by osoloco11 on April 17, 2016 5:40 pm

    I always turn them upside down and bang them. ALWAYS.
    =============
    Totally different vibe when XBrad says this………..

  150. Hahahahaha

  151. I always turn them upside down and bang them. ALWAYS.
    =============
    Totally different vibe when XBrad says this………..
    ———————
    ———————
    Analysis: True.

  152. I had a spider in my shoe and you guys make it funny!

  153. The spider was a scout for the Hoppers.

  154. I prolly shouldn’t be looking at recipes on a day when I’m on a clear liquid diet/colonoscopy prep regimen….

  155. Vodka martinis are clear.

  156. 17 year cicadas are supposed to hatch this year.

    Oso wouldn’t like them http://is.gd/erPUju

  157. TiFW?
    http://tinyurl.com/zaqek6v

    Prayers up for you and everything to go well tomorrow.

  158. I saw Colonoscopy Prep Regimen open for Bad Meat In the Can at Battle of the Bands 1972 at the Grande Ballroom.

  159. Seemed like they were due to be back soon.

  160. A friend called me in a panic last time.

    “The side of my house is covered with big eyed shrimp lookin’ things!!!!”

    In the background I heard the wife scream.

    City people are funny.

  161. Scott, I saw that! The Southwest wasn’t supposed to be part of it. Looked NE localized!

  162. The last time we had the big wave of cicadas, one of my co-workers measured the sound at 78 decibels.

  163. I gotta get chickens soon. Cicadas are easy to catch and I bet they’d eat good on those.

  164. Roamy, LOL :-)

    That’s about right….

  165. >>17 year cicadas are supposed to hatch this year.

    Holy shit. I was quite new in US for the last great sex orgy of the 17 year cicadas. I have been here for a while.

  166. “Bang! Bang! Bang!”

    “Dong! Dong! Dong!”

    Pajamamomma, a.k.a., Clownlips: Watch this video for your next Krav Maga lesson:

  167. Don’t say Dong around PJ. She gets knocked up.

  168. I’m still batching it while Herself is galavanting around CT. and NYC. As long as I don’t run out of microwave food, I think I can survive.

  169. Is Pepe still around? If so, I have a friend who is interested in contacting you about your knives. He got to handle one the other day and he said it was “perfection.”

  170. Yesterday, I was upset that we didn’t have food, only ingredients. I was starving!!!

  171. Shipmate, there are these places called bars. And in these bars there is beer, wine, and booze.

    They have this shit called a menu. It’s fucking magic. You look at it, tell the bartender what you would like, and it *poof* appears.

    Then, they lighten your wallet, and you go home to an immaculate kitchen.

    It’s so twenty first fucking century.

  172. Sean, he has links through his facedouche page to his bizness

  173. Just got back from urgent care with five new meds. Any offers?

  174. 40 Year Old Virgin Daiquiri

  175. If it ain’t Xanax I’m not interested.

    Sex on the Beaches

  176. Captain Ron and Coke

  177. I knocked myself out accidently last night. I used 7up in both drinks. Tonight, I’m chill. Diet 7 only. I think I’ll ban 7Up. I’ll never have to think again!!

  178. Seven and Seven Samurai

  179. Was rummaging through the medicine cabinet and found a nasal spray that expired 10 years ago. My wife won’t throw it out, says it’s still perfectly good.

  180. Rusty Nine Inch Nail

  181. Hotspurt – I would do that but, they require you wear trousers. I’m not up for that.

  182. Major Tom Collins

  183. Dirty Spank My Monkey

  184. Mosquito Magnet gets deployed tomorrow.
    I was just swarmed.

  185. The black flies are just starting here. No skeeters yet.

  186. Tokyo Drift Tea

  187. Pres called Dan this AM. Said MiL would be released in an hour. Dan texted SiL. SiL has been at the hospital since Noon. MiL just released now. LOLOLOL SiL has been texting Dan all day. Family drama has the laughs on Team Dan today.

  188. “Comment by Hotspur on April 17, 2016 4:32 pm

    Last time I had bad meat in the can, I spent the night with your mom.”

    i’ve got no sympathy for you, you know she doesn’t wash the “big stallion”

  189. “Comment by osoloco11 on April 17, 2016 7:09 pm”

    *wonders how you knock yourself up”

  190. MCPOld Fashioned

  191. Chocolate Cake by the Ocean

  192. Sissy Mary

  193. “black flies – no skeet”

    sounds like a white russian variant

  194. Sweet Ver Mouth on the Cocks

  195. Two Fingers of Scotch in the Pink, One Finger of Scotch in the Stink

  196. Cuba not so libre

  197. Koala Rum

  198. Bourbon Bons.

  199. I love Koloa Rum. We should have a road trip to Kauai to tour the plantation and go to the rum tasting.

  200. ISIS Car Bomb

  201. Moon Over Miami Vice

  202. MJ would prefer the cum tasting.

  203. Oscar Mayer Bellini

  204. Two Daddy’s Fingers

  205. >>Was rummaging through the medicine cabinet and found a nasal spray that expired 10 years ago. My wife won’t throw it out, says it’s still perfectly good.

    It will either work (with a greatly diminished potency) or do nothing. I doubt it has matured into some sort of poison that would kill or maim you.

    But still, best to throw it away.

  206. Double-O-Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

  207. Hotspur Toddy.

  208. Oh, oh, I have one more:

    Wiser Budweiser.

  209. Pink Ladyboy

  210. White Russian Chicks

  211. I chose Sicario as tonight’s Red Box movie. If it sucks, I can’t choose for 6 months. And…it isn’t loading. Whew.

  212. Kicking & Screaming Orgasm

  213. Whiskey on the Rockford Files

  214. A Goodnight Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

  215. Shirley Temple of Doom

  216. Black Russian Chicks

  217. Rosetta Sour.

  218. Jizz ‘N’ Juice

  219. Long Island Sweet Tea.

  220. White Patron-age Margarita

  221. Martini & Roth IRA

  222. Shirley, stop calling me shirley Temple

  223. Champagne Cock-tuck

  224. Boston Cream Pie Bomb

  225. Oculto AKA Tequiza

  226. The Long Island Iced Kiss Goodbye Tea

  227. Fit Bit Zuma

  228. Vegan Mary BLT

  229. Dirty Dozen Martinis

  230. The Fiddler on the Roofies

  231. Mary, Bloody Mary

  232. Gold Jiggers

  233. OFBushwacker

  234. Mag 7 and Evan

  235. Moscow Mule on the Hudson

  236. Slippery Hippie

  237. Sweet Home Alabama Slammer

  238. I see. We’re still taking about fornicating with the family matriarch.

    Totally unrelated; is anyone watching Downton Abby?

  239. In my case, Mag DIET 7 and Evan. Except last night. I got my sodas mixed up. Oops. Sugar black out as opposed to booze pass out.

  240. Goldschlonger

  241. Black & Tan Cobra

  242. MJ, abbey? Which season? Beasn is our weakest PBS link. Mebbe HS.

  243. Sean, Goldshlonger!!! I can sing that soundtrack!!!

  244. Masturbation On The Beach

  245. I may need my Roamy to provide lyrics for me.

  246. Clockwork Orange Whip

  247. Taqiyya Tequila.

  248. Peen Colada

  249. Curacao Donkey Punch

  250. Beautiful Mind Eraser

  251. I’m tired of listening to you wine.

  252. Yugo Margarita

  253. Tequila Sunrise Sunset

  254. Night of the Sodomizing Cougar-Man Juice

  255. Slow Kid Gin Fizz

  256. Lemon Party Drop

  257. Liebfraumilch and cookies

  258. Splendor in the Grasshopper

  259. Vodka on the Crack Rocks

  260. Yuengling Participles

  261. ” WTF is wrong with CA?”

    What’s right w the rest of the country? Cal is just extra forked.

  262. Two Shot Whore

  263. Throw Banana Mama From The Train

  264. Flaming Gay Dr Pepper

  265. Cripple Jack rafter and coke

  266. Jizzlet

  267. China White Syndrome

  268. Too low for Coke Zero elton’d

  269. Hot Toady

  270. God, was Nilsson a million times better than the MonkeeS cover.

  271. Old Fashioned Mare

  272. Linty Navel

  273. Jack Reacher and Coke.

  274. 9 g’s squeeze – tequila and crime

  275. Absinthe Makes the Dick Grow Smaller

  276. Oso, Sicario got all scary about Juarez, but things have calmed down considerablyour since 2011. Lots of people here got pissed about it..

  277. We had to file with Redbox. Bad copy. TJ, did you watch Narcos on Netflix?

  278. FYI We had leftover pork loin. Dan marinated it in red chile. Re-purposed as carne adovada. Major yum.

  279. side note:
    “I’m tired of listening to you wine.”
    some of the worst wines in the world come from nys –
    oi!

  280. Babbling Brook Buffoon Beer & Wine
    -by t rump vineyard and brewery

  281. If it sucks, I can’t choose for 6 months.

    Seems like a stiff penalty. Unless your choices have been sub-par for some time, now. Then, understandable.

    *drums fingers judgingly

  282. Bud Light Raspberita.

    Howdido?

  283. pork sounds like a winner. With tortillas?

  284. Slippery Cripple.

  285. Jay, have you probed your PBC cooking temp? I am so freaking confused right now.

    I cooked a bunch of beef and it read 385 (way too hot for roast beef) cooked chicken tonight and it was around 280.

    Maybe the lid wasn’t down all the way.
    Maybe beef fat = additional fuel.

  286. Piss Sour

  287. Dick Lower Than Highball

  288. >>Maybe the lid wasn’t down all the way.<<

    I've already apologized to your mom about that. Let's move on.

  289. J’ames YES!! On tortilla with a sharp cheddar.

  290. Zoos are depressing. Hate to see all the animals locked up.

    Pepe, I’m with you there. The zoo here is really nice and the animals look healthy….but they all need more space. The bears pace and the elephants don’t like when brats laugh at them for taking a dump.

  291. I may have picked a few dogs in the past. Co-workers too. The penalty is the same:6 mos.

  292. Best of luck on your surgery, TiFW!!

  293. Oh Teresa I hope and pray it goes well

  294. I have had that problem, scott, and it was the lid. Mine runs about 280 after settling down. A quick twist sets it. You can tell if smoke is leaking out around the lid.

  295. local grocery store is selling this kick ass chipotle cheddar. Also my favorite, pepperjack.

  296. Seagram’s Semen & Semen

  297. I am torn about zoos. Many improvements in the lasts 20 years. How do you get people to care if they can’t see? I love Sea World too! Dan and I have been zoo members for 25 years. It kills us as we lose our friends to other zoos and death.

  298. Saw that they have jalapeno bacon. I want jalapeno cream cheese stuffed jalapenos wrapped with jalapeno bacon. Not avail here…yet

  299. Prayers for TiFW

  300. Animals in captivity live a lot longer.

    Or maybe it just seems too long to them.

  301. I want to tell you all how the service went and I can’t find the words

    His lifelong friends from college get it that we were lifelong friends too.

    Hugged em hard. They feel your friendship

  302. Good luck on the surgery, TiFW!

  303. Thank you for being there, Dave.

  304. LOLOLOL Dan is ranting about Vin Scully. I love this man! We H8 alike

  305. White Zombie

    (All apologies for the double down on “old Fashioned” Im having trouble catching up to this very popular sports blog)

  306. Scuzzy Navel

  307. Thanks DiT. Thanks Cyn and Russ and Beasn and Phat. Glad you were there to represent and hug. I’m still in Denial, so take your time with the “You were there”

  308. (Cuts Sean McGill’s internets serv. )

    That takes care of that.

  309. Bailey’s Irish Cream of Sum Yung Guy.

  310. Whiskey and Dave in Water

  311. Beasns comments about Hank have been haunting me for days. Please, let’s not do this.

  312. Black and Flan.

  313. http://tinyurl.com/gmwhzos

  314. man I wanna jump in the pool and that fucking water is way colder than Long Island Sound

    I appreciate the thanks, Bart, Oso.

    Did a thing I could do is all. I needed to be there

    This whole thing sucks canal water so bad.

  315. Yer a sick man, Pepe. I like your style. I mentioned earlier that my IRL best friend wants to get in touch with you about your knives. How would he best go about that?

  316. Dork and Stormy

  317. Gin and Toxic.

  318. MMM @555AM.

    Now shower then bed.

  319. Whiskey and Dave in Water

    **golf clap**

  320. Phone dying. No 7Up OD tonight. Binge watching Sons of Anarchy

  321. ” IRL best friend wants to get in touch with you about your knives. How would he best go about that?”

    30 fifth and bayside…
    bring cash –

    whistle this:
    http://tinyurl.com/pmp6h6l

  322. I want to tell you all how the service went and I can’t find the words

    This explains so much where I have been on this too.

    His parents, brother and sister, grandma, his friends–they were just astounded that we fake internet friends loved him like they did.

  323. It has been apparent to me since Patty Ann’s passing (I didn’t know cranky, but it was probably like that with him, too) that this is a family, too.

  324. Hola, Bart.

  325. >>>>I want to tell you all how the service went and I can’t find the words

    Wiserbride bought condolence cards for Loti and his parents. I told her I would include a letter in each one.

    I haven’t been able to even bring myself to reading the cards yet….

    So yeah… That’s where I am…

  326. Well, over 300 comments. Chatty bunch of fuckers, aren’t you?

  327. Fuck you, autocorrect.

    “Lori.”

  328. There is a guy who travels around the country taking photos of headstones.

    He found Patty Ann’s http://is.gd/6RI01D

    June 7 is 5 years.

  329. I just watched the first couple of episodes of Better Call Saul, I’m resisting the urge to stay up all night and watch the rest.

    Netflix and The Big Chill

  330. Agreed, Sean.

  331. Heya Mesa

  332. Howdy, Mesablue.

    Bart is still straight. I already checked.

  333. Bourbon and cock.

  334. He found Patty Ann’s http://is.gd/6RI01D

    June 7 is 5 years.

    Damn.

  335. Ok, another story from the service Friday,,

    Pastors talk bout hard things…. they are trained to do that. He talked about depression and he was honest and true about it

    At one point he said there’s a line and Lance crossed over it

    And I laughed inside suppressing the laughter… HE CROSSED A LINE

    I giggled quietly, Cyn did too we both got it

    Oh damn I miss him so,

  336. I’m still angry about Patty Ann. She didn’t deserve to go like that.

  337. Bourbon and cock.

    You can’t have my bourbon. Get your own.

  338. Did the cat drag something in again?

    Oh hi, mesablue!

  339. >>>>Bart is still straight. I already checked.

    Ummmm……

  340. At one point he said there’s a line and Lance crossed over it

    And I laughed inside suppressing the laughter… HE CROSSED A LINE

    http://crossedtheline.wordpress.com/

    LOLOL

    I don’t think I did as good a job as Dave on the suppressing part. It took my breath away– it was like the best callback evar.

  341. >>>I’m still angry about Patty Ann. She didn’t deserve to go like that.

    Was talking with someone about PA the other day and it shocked me once again that it all started with a simple slip

  342. There were sooo many people at both the visitation and the services, which were SRO, and easily 250+ people.

  343. And I laughed inside suppressing the laughter… HE CROSSED A LINE

    Did he mention anything from the recipe blog?

  344. No one pressed charges for aural damage, so I guess it was a good debut.

  345. >>>There were sooo many people at both the visitation and the services, which were SRO, and easily 250+ people.

    See, this is what fucking blows my mind.

    So many people available to him….

  346. I laughed and I cried

    Such a good service. I hated seeing his body.. that part sucked so bad

    *Daves endorsement of closed casket things.. you don’t want to see that*

    ugh wipes my eyes

  347. Was talking with someone about PA the other day and it shocked me once again that it all started with a simple slip

    *cough*

    Hey wiser. How goes it?

  348. >>>>Did he mention anything from the recipe blog?

    Well….. He is a religious man…..

    So he probably likes the mascot’s picture….

  349. Sean, send me an e-mail r.s.rogers (at) hot mail Missed the comment earlier, busy today, just skimming.

  350. I had a dream about Rosetta’s son.
    I think that it would be a good idea if interested partys write a letter to him in the future about the way we remember his father.

    Ive written several. There is no rush, obviously.

    All you all who represented at the service deserve our thanks. That must have been incredibly difficult.

  351. >>>>Hey wiser. How goes it?

    A long while back, when my kids were very, very young, wiserbride went on a business trip for about 10 days. I was a single dad with no one around to help.

    Instead of freaking out, I simply put myself into head-down, move-forward mental state. Very much like AA’s “1 day at a time” mode.

    And eventually she came home and we all survived.

    This is slightly different, but it’s pretty much how I’m dealing with it.

  352. Good luck my friend. You’ve got my number. Use it if you need to.

  353. yep

  354. One day at a time is a powerful concept.

    This has been a real condensed tragedy for me because the only ones who know how it has affected me are on this marvelous blog. In that, I float between a world where things are as they should be and one which is rocked to the core.

    Like many of you, I have life experiences which put me right when I get very low and I have been to the well to take a sip of that water a few times this week. That said, I must thank each of you for keeping it real here at the blog.

    I’ve definitely felt more in the weeds in my life and alone than I have over this tremendous tragedy.

    Again, I thank you.

  355. >>>Good luck my friend. You’ve got my number. Use it if you need to.

    Thanks, buddy. And thanks to everyone for your care, love and support. I’m getting by.

    Just pushing through, 1 day at a time. All I think of is how selfish it would be of me to feel sorry for myself when there are people who were much, much closer to him than I who are absolutely devastated. And my heart breaks for them.

    Someday soon, I hope we are all together again soon and share more good times, like we used to.

  356. yep

  357. I would very much like to meet some of you assholes in person.

  358. let’s put it on the calendar.

    I’ve heard rumbles that when Lawraw grads that we should be banging pots and pans at that time.

    pencils sharpened.

  359. We’re gonna need a week.

    or more.

  360. We have had about 15 meetups.

  361. wiser, his skin on friend love us too

  362. Month long meatup – I’m in. It’s medicinal.

  363. >>>>wiser, his skin on friend love us too

    Well who wouldn’t?

    We’re adorable.

  364. we are adorbs

  365. Someday soon, I hope we are all together again soon and share more good times, like we used to.

    Maybe this time, we WILL get thrown out of the Hilton.

    I swear, they were close to it last time…

  366. plus Juan

  367. I would very much like to meet some of you assholes in person.

    Just leave your liver at home. It won’t be talking to you much afterwards anyway.

  368. >>>We have had about 15 meetups.

    Little girls, back in the day, used to call them tea parties.

  369. June in STL? CT? CA? AZ?

    I’ll plan it, You People™ tell me where.

  370. I’m thankful that someone let us know so Dave, Cyn, Russ, Beasn, and Phat could be there for us.

    Mr. RFH didn’t understand why I was so upset when PattyAnn died. Now he understands a little better. I have 22 Hostage phone numbers.

  371. CT

  372. When I was a little girl I met Bart

  373. Then TX

  374. Just leave your liver at home. It won’t be talking to you much afterwards anyway.

    From what I’ve heard, it’s more like your liver is screaming in pain. Or puking in it’s go cart helmet.

  375. Then Carin/Hotspout/Leon’s

    I think they live near Canada

  376. Pepe, check your hotbox.

  377. Bart is real?

  378. I’m tellin’ yas…PNW meet up. Salmon. Mac and Jacks. Unforgettable views, and weather that would leave you breathless for all the right reasons.

  379. Your liver is just a piece of meat. I’ve seen em at the store for like $2.99/lb

    Spend a little, Jeez.

  380. I would like to thank the H2 for having the Amazon link for Steering Wheel Desk show up again in my Facedouche feed.

  381. real with buns of steel.

    I heard

  382. scott’s last meetup

  383. I got nothing.

  384. I lied.

    Bart at a meetup http://is.gd/5ouYbF

  385. Actually, this is Scott’s last meat-up

  386. The only thing faster than the SR71 is …….. your mom.

  387. I’m glad I got to meet Bart

  388. >>>>I’m glad I got to meet Bart

    *books flight to Texas

    Texas is kind of a smallish place, right? I should be able to find Dave pretty easily once I get there, right?

  389. Hostages:Everyone else

  390. run to water

  391. >>>>run to water

    Brilliant.

  392. *GLAR

  393. >>>>Hostages:Everyone else

    One of us. One of us. One of us.

  394. One of us. One of us. One of us.

    Do I get a tshirt or a hat?

  395. You get a slightly-used rubber fist.

  396. You get a slightly-used rubber fist.

    Huh.

    How slightly?

  397. “I should be able to find Dave pretty easily once I get there, right?”

    He’s about 100-150 miles from a major city. Pick one. Any one. Start driving – you’re bound to run in to him.

    Even if you don’t, you’ll still be in Texas. Ask around – someone will point you in the right direction (we’re friendly that way….)

  398. Oh, and thanks for the well wishes, everyone! The knife is scheduled to drop at 12:30 –

  399. How slightly?

    Don’t worry about it, yer majesty.

  400. Best wishes, TiF

  401. Good luck, TiFW

  402. Much love to you TiFW. You get those guts right.

  403. Thoughts and prayers coming your way, Teresa.

  404. >>>knife is scheduled to drop at 12:30 –

    Eastern or Mountain time?

    Best wishes.

  405. I am torn about zoos. Many improvements in the lasts 20 years. How do you get people to care if they can’t see?

    Critter cams.
    Watch an eagle’s nest for one season…you’re hooked and start asking friends not to use lead bullets when they hunt and ask electric companies to make their poles bird friendly (SYWM).

    National Geographic and Discovery channels do it when they’re not making snuff films or wagging fingers at human encroachment on wildlife territory and global warmening POLAR BEARS ARE DYING OMG!!!!

  406. or 1230 colored people time?

    btw, didn’t you just know Juan Williams was’t gonna have a problem whatsoever with Clinton’s use of CPT? As soon as I saw him on the panel I knew he was gonna spin it. Him and Gerry Rivers see racism in everything else, tho. So phony.

  407. I am sorry to have upset anyone for mentioning Henry misses his dad. That is what Lori said. He wouldn’t have understood the funeral, so they didn’t bring him.

    I think Chumpo had a fantastic idea about writing a letter to him, for later, and telling him what a great and funny guy his father was.

  408. Good luck TinFW.

  409. Break a leg, TiFW

  410. And if I had to hear it, I had to share it.
    Would have been nice to record the service. I didn’t go because I had to help a neighbor out that morning and my sinuses were making me nauseous. Would have to like to have heard it.

  411. I wonder how many pennies we could save by the time Henry turns 21.

  412. …thirty pennies a day… times 365 days…

  413. TMI (Sorry, Oso.)……..My dad died when I was 7, so I’m really feeling bad for Henry.

  414. That service was probably one of the best I’ve ever sat through, Beasn. His parents’ minister obviously took the time to talk to family and friends, it showed.

  415. You don’t need to be sorry, Beasn. You had a point of incredible gravity and when you made it, the hammer dropped.

    I needed that.

    up until that time I had explained away the pain and after I couldn’t because that is an enduring legacy now.

    I met his mother when she was carrying the boy and I loved the father. In that I have a responsibility to his memory.

    For all time.

    As I said, there is no rush in this project. If people are interested jot down a couple thoughts and as time passes the communication will take shape.

    For good to triumph we must hold the torch forever.

  416. Pepe.

    I can’t imagine that.

    Thank you for sharing.

  417. These pennies we save up for Henry…can they just be, you know, regular pennies?

  418. That’s really special, Mr. Chumpo. What a gift.

  419. That’s so hard to hear, Pepe; I hope that the memories you carry of him are good ones. I hope that for Henry too.

  420. Ho… how will they compound only as regular pennies?!

  421. Thank you, chumpo. Henry was the one thing that stuck that night. I looked at the boards of pictures they had of Rosie and his children/pig dogs….and wanted to slap the nearest bald head.
    I remember my son as a little boy. The wide-eyed, innocent, almost worship of daddy….his buddy. Made my green fist itch again.

    I hope he is reminded, as he grows, how much his father really did love him. And how sometimes, grown-ups royally screw up, can feel terribly sad, and make terrible choices.

  422. Compound Ass Pennies!!!!!

    Rediculorum Infinitus!!!!1

    I love that that fat ass gets to ride it out with ass pennies!!!!1111!!

  423. I have no doubt the family will surround the kids with a lot of extra love.

  424. We will do what we can, Beasn.

    Thanks to all you all we know that H and M and Lori are surrounded by real life friends who will support the memories and the nurturing which our friend and Lori began.

    That is the gift which you attendees have given the rest of us. The knowledge that Henry will be surrounded by people that love him. Without your perspective our imaginations may have taken us to unrealistic depths.

    You all saved us from that.

    It is a peculiar risk in having fake internet friends that you come to love as family. I haven’t wrapped my heart around it yet but somehow we are as Prisoners of War. We have a commitment to one another that is asymmetrical in that we don’t know each other, but we rely on one another.

  425. I’m very happy to be able to go and visit w Xrad and Sean Mahatmah on Wed.

    Run to Water indeed.

  426. Holy shit. My NepLex friends are doing all kinda of interesting research, and I’m learning stuff about Dad I never knew about his time in Vietnam. Plus, I finally have a chance to read through his logbooks.

  427. >>> I haven’t wrapped my heart around it yet but somehow we are as Prisoners of War. We have a commitment to one another that is asymmetrical in that we don’t know each other, but we rely on one another.

    Xbrad – you would remember best… wasn’t this essentially how The Hostages name kinda came to be?

  428. Where in CA are you guys meeting?

  429. we are Hostages.

    very misty

  430. X- That’s really cool that they’re finding stuff on your Dad.

  431. at Xray’s air museum.

  432. Ha!

    Hmmm… *googles drive time from here to there…*

  433. That’s potentially not un-do-able.

  434. Well, I offered Paulitics the spare bedroom, but 1. He’s got ebola, and 2. he can have the couch.

  435. I’ll let you know; there’s a prom that night and I think Googleman is still deciding whether or not to go (I’ve already told him he’ll regret it if he doesn’t).

    ——————-

    Okay, gang; Mommy’s Little Helpers are kicking in. Nighty dreams, cool kids.

  436. Adidas Amigas

  437. XLaD, I can’t spend all day flying around in your b17, k. I’ve got shit to do around Pasadena at night so, one or two med alt runs on Cochella and back to base, mkay>

  438. That’s potentially not un-do-able.

    *holds envelope up to Carnac The Magnificent Turban*

    “What Tom Cruise has said on each of his wedding nights.”

  439. heh

    you dog.

    Give me back all my drink jokes, joker. How dare you ride on my mindwave.

  440. Well, I can happily spend all day wandering around the museum, but if you gotta go, you gotta go. I’ll explain a shitload more than you really care to hear during whatever time you have.

  441. I dont ‘have” to go anywhere.

    Take me upmin your d49 stratocaster. Show me how ot flys. Lets check some left over titties at cochella and set ‘er down.

    Bing bing boom.

  442. I said
    Bing bing boom!

    Sean, I’m stoked we are getting togeth. Thanx for reaching out.

  443. See you wed.
    Lets go early and have bxfast

  444. I know I dreamed you a derp and a lie
    I have my freedom but I don’t have much time
    Faith has been broken tears must be cried
    Let’s do some living after we die


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